THE POWER
OF
Optimism
The Power of Optimism
Dr. Henry Cloud
If you failed an exam that is required to get hired in a particular industry, what
would your reaction be? Would you feel like you are a loser and you won’t ever be able
to accomplish anything? Would you give up and go do something else, or go back to
doing something you do not like doing because you thought your chance for something
new was over? Would you get depressed?
Or, would you go forward and outperform everyone else in that industry?
Second question: If you had not dated for three years, finally got talked into
trying, joined a service, went on some dates, found three guys you liked and then got
rejected by all three of them, what would you do? Would you feel like a loser and give up
on dating? Would you get depressed and start eating? Would you think you are ugly, or
undesirable and get depressed?
Or, would you continue on, go out with the next one, and be engaged in one year
to the best man you had ever known?
Sounds kind of outlandish, doesn’t it? Fail a test and outperform the industry. Get
rejected again and again, after much failure, and then find the man of your dreams. It may
sound Pollyannaish, but both of those examples are true. And as research shows, these
people are not the exceptions, but the norm. At least the norm for a certain group of
people. Who are they? The Optimists. They are the ones who think that the future is
going to be better, and then they go on to find that it is.
The first example was research that was done by Dr. Martin Seligman as he
studied the role of optimism in the workplace. They tested 15,000 applicants for life
insurance sales, which is a job that has a lot of rejection and in which a lot of people end
up giving up and quitting. Included in the research was a group that failed the industry
test and would not have normally been hired, but had one thing going for them: they
tested high on optimism. There were two strong findings in the study.
First, in the entire group who was hired, the optimists way outperformed the
pessimists. But get this: The second finding was that the people who could not pass the
test, but were optimists, outsold everyone else! In other words, optimism seemed to count
more than brains, or talent. The ones who expected a good outcome got one, even more
than the ones who should have, at least on paper.
The other example was from my own dating research. When I was writing How
To Get a Date Worth Keeping, there was a woman I was coaching who had not dated in a
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long time, had given up and quit. But, as she worked on her issues, one of the things we
focused on was her attitudes and belief systems, especially as they had to do with
rejection. As she did that, her life began to change and she began having fun dating, even
when she would encounter a rejection. As a result, she was unstoppable, and found “the
one” soon thereafter. I got the privilege of performing her wedding, and I will never
forget her husband thanking me for pushing her through her negativity so that he could
find her. If she had not changed her attitude, and given up her pessimism, they would
never have met.
Now another question for you: Have you ever looked at your attitudes as an
important driving force to reaching your dreams? Or, conversely, could they be the main
reason that you might not be getting the things you desire and that God has for you? Can
being optimistic really have that much power? Before you dismiss the idea, here are some
facts to consider. Optimism has been shown to influence such areas of life as:
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Overall health and well-being
Mortality and longevity
Infections
Greater achievement and performance
Greater ability to meet goals
Clinical issues like depression and anxiety
Relationship success and satisfaction
Stress and recovery from illness
This is not some “pie in the sky” positive thinking, but real science. There is hard data
proving that being optimistic can change your life. If that it true, then here are some
things to keep in mind:
First, realize that being optimistic is not the same as being in denial. Denial says that
everything is fine. As we all know, that is sometimes far from the case. Optimism does
not deny reality. Instead, it embraces reality and says that although things might be really
bad today, they will get better and eventually will work out.
Second, optimism and faith are very related. Faith in God does not mean that any one
particular desire will happen. Sometimes God says “no,” or allows things to turn out in a
way that can be pretty painful. But faith says that although I might not get, or did not get,
the outcome that I desire, God is God, he still loves me, and whatever He is doing will be
for my good. Ultimately, it will be good.
Third, when bad things happen, check yourself for your interpretations. Research
shows that successful people interpret bad occurrences very differently than people who
stay stuck. The optimists see a bad occurrence as not meaning something about them as
people, like “I am a loser.” Instead, they see it as a bad outcome that is based on other
factors besides themselves, like timing, random circumstance, etc. Second, they do not
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see it as something to be generalized, but something that is specific. “That date did not
work out,” vs. “No dates ever work out.” Third, they do not see a bad outcome as
something that will be stable over time, like “it will always be this way.” Instead, they
feel like things will get better in the future and that the bad outcome is temporary.
Fourth, remember what God says. We do not have a God who tells us to hunker down
because it is all downhill from here. Instead, we have a God who promises to bring about
in us a completion of his plan for us, as long as we remain faithful. There is no such thing
as a faithful person who does not get to where God wants him or her to be. So, take heart!
God is on your side, and that is something to be very positive about.
Fifth, optimism comes from taking little steps and achieving success in small
increments. Then, you will believe for the future. Do not say “I will lose 50 pounds,” or
“I will find the man of my dreams this month.” Instead, say, “I will go on a 45 minute
walk every day this week,” or “I will go on one date and have a good time, even if he is
not someone I am interested in.” When you set realistic goals, you are doing growth
God’s way, one little step at a time. And as Proverbs says, a desire accomplished is sweet
to the soul.
Sixth, do not let your past say discouraging things to you. It means nothing, other
than showing you what you need to learn and change. It does not mean that you have no
future or will not be able to get things to work out tomorrow. Many people are very
successful who have had a lot of failure. But, many people with failure are not successful
because they continue to look at their failure instead of the God of grace, and their failure
begins to define to them who they are. Accept God’s forgiveness and move on. It is there
for the very reason that God wants your future to be different than your past, so he wipes
the slate clean and will take you to a different tomorrow.
Lastly, optimism can be learned, but is not learned from pessimists. Be careful who
you surround yourself with. Joshua and Caleb were the only ones who thought the
Israelites could make it, and the rest were negative. To have your dreams come true,
surround yourself with an optimistic team who believes in you, believes in God, and
believes in tomorrow. Together, you can do it with a good support group on your side.
But, if you are surrounded by negative people, you will catch the virus of their view of
the world.
God made you to bring forth fruit. Do not listen to the voices that say, “There is only
a drought coming. There will be no fruit. It is hopeless.” Instead, listen to the voice of
faith that says, “no matter how it looks now, knock and the door shall be opened. God
will bring us through. And, “no matter what happens, he can bring good out of it for all
those who belong to him.” Amen, and God Bless!
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An Optimistic Spirit
Jan Silvious
As I drove along a very narrow two lane road, I suddenly was aware of a young
woman pushing a toddler in a stroller on the bumpy, thin shoulder of the busy traffic
short-cut to a major artery. My mind immediately began to process what I was seeing.
The mother looked cold but capable of pushing the stroller up the windy street. Then I
saw the baby. His blonde curls were shiny in the sunshine. His little legs were covered
with a blanket but his little coat looked thin and totally inadequate for the December day.
Next I saw a young man walking several steps behind the mother and child. His bare
head was down as he fought the wind that buffeted them all. I had to stop. What was their
story? Where were they going? What was going on?
I pulled over in the nearest parking lot and stepped out of my car. I called to the
woman and said, “Can I give you a ride?” She shook her head ‘yes’ and immediately
looked both ways and crossed the road to my car. In a minute the man was there, too. She
said. “This is my husband” and he said “we are going to Mrs. Candler’s up the road to cut
a tree. She said if we came by today and cut it down, she would pay us.” He quickly
folded the stroller and helped his wife and baby get in the back seat and then hopped in
the front with me.
As I started the car again, I asked, “Where do you live?”
“In the motel over on Hickory Valley but we are from New Orleans. We are
moving to a FEMA apartment soon and we are looking for work but until then we are
trying to make a little extra money.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Five weeks.”
“What’s your little boy’s name?”
“Aw, that’s our Sebastian.” The young man looked in the back seat and smiled at
the baby.”
“Is that the best coat he has?”
“Yes, Ma’am, for now.”
By this time, we were at Mrs. Candler’s. It wasn’t far. They already had covered
most of the two miles on foot from the motel.
“What is your room number at the hotel? I want to call you tonight about a coat
for Sebastian and I was wondering, does he have any toys for Christmas?”
“Sebastian is fine. We bought him a little toy, already.”
“We are in 112. We’ll be back there after we cut down the tree and ‘Ma’am,
thanks a lot. We really appreciate it.”
Later that day, I called the motel to make sure they were there and to check on
Sebastian’s sizes. They were there and would look forward to seeing me.
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That night, I took a coat, some toddler clothes and a toy to room 112. Three
smiling faces met me at the door. They all were in flannel pajamas and white sock feet.
They cracked the door open and inside the little motel room I saw a tiny little Christmas
tree with colored, twinkling lights on the table next to the bed. They thanked me
profusely for the gifts and wished me a Merry Christmas.
They were making the most out of a really tough situation. They refused to live as
helpless victims of an incredible event. Life would go on. They had plans for the future.
They didn’t know what it would be like but they knew they would be fine. That is
optimism. The way we explain the events in our lives to ourselves will determine if we
live well or if we live as failures controlled by circumstances. The minute I met this
young couple, I knew whatever their story was, they would make it. Things weren’t the
way they wanted them to be but they were making the most of what had happened to
them. No sob story. No poor us. Just a young couple doing life the best they could in the
situation in which they found themselves.
THINK ABOUT IT FROM GOD’S WORD
God’s Heart for His people is to be optimistic. Throughout the scriptures, He
encourages trust, hope and He commands thinking that focuses on the good. One of the
Scripture passages I run to whenever events aren’t matching up to my expectations is
Philippians 4:6-8. I rehearse it over and over in my mind and I find it always brings me to
total optimism.
Let’s do a brief study together and maybe this will become one of your personal
optimistic safe havens, as well. Read the Scripture that follows and then answer the
questions.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,
let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things
are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of
good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on
these things.
(Philippians 4:6-8 NKJV)
What is God’s command? V.6
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What is the result in my life if I obey that command? V.7
Why do I need the peace of God?
What do you think it feels like to have that peace?
List three thoughts that come from verse 8 that you can meditate on for the next week. Be
specific by making the thoughts applicable to your personal life.
What does this passage have to do with optimism?
Are you optimistic?
Now, take a few minutes and jot down your answers. You may already know
these verses but even if you do, to rehearse them is to set your mind in the direction of the
optimism God desires for you all the time and in every circumstance.
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About the Authors
Dr. Henry Cloud, a frequent speaker at Women of Faith events, is a clinical
psychologist, leadership consultant, best-selling author, and speaker whose books have
sold over 5 million copies. And no wonder—he simplifies life’s issues and gives easy to
understand, practical advice. Learn more at drcloud.com
Jan Silvious has been reaching out to women for over 25 years, helping them to live
fully and to embrace an intelligent attitude toward life. As a speaker at Women of Faith
arena events, Jan has encouraged audiences across the country and across every
denomination, challenging them to grow into the women God has called them to be. Jan
is an author, speaker, and a professional life coach. Learn more at jansilvous.com.
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