Some Common Feelings Experienced by
Alzheimer’s Family Caregivers
o Shock
o Disbelief
o Embarrassment
o Denial
o Hopelessness
o Helplessness
o Isolation
o Sadness
o Frustration
o Guilt
o Anger
o Depression
o Grief
o Others
Some Common and Challenging Alzheimer’s Family Caregiving Issues:
A Seemingly Endless Series of Problems
o Denying that something serious is wrong
o Dealing with the denial of friends and relatives
o Taking your loved one to be evaluated
o Informing relatives and friends of the diagnosis
o Explaining it to children or grandchildren
o Getting the person to stop driving
o Adjusting to and loving the new person your loved one may become
o Deciding whether to place your loved one in a facility
o Deciding what to do if the person is adamantly opposed to moving
o Handling it if your loved one becomes emotionally or physically abusive
o Handling it if the person makes scenes in public
o Coping when your loved one doesn’t recognize you
o Making end-of-life care decisions
o Engaging hospice care services
o Dealing with your grief – even when the person is still alive
o Others
Moments of Joy:
Enjoy Them in the Present
o Those amazing moments of total lucidity – no matter how rare and how brief
o Times of recognition and connection – proof that they are “still there”
o Laughing together about some humorous situation
o When they are able to achieve success in some activity they previously couldn’t
do alone
o Demonstrations of love or affection for you
o Showing love or affection for others
o Hardly talking anymore but being able to sing songs – even remembering all the
lyrics and moving in time with the rhythm
o When the person is obviously enjoying one or more visitors
o When the person is clearly enjoying an activity very much
o Others
10 CRITICAL TIPS FOR ALZHEIMER’S CAREGIVERS
1. Don’t Be in Denial: It’s only natural to be in denial when a loved one begins to show
signs of Alzheimer’s, but that only prevents the person from getting a diagnosis, starting
treatment, and planning for their future.
2. Don’t Ask, “Do You Remember?” Of course they can’t remember. If they could
remember they wouldn’t be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Asking if they remember some
person or event could make them feel frustrated.
3. Do Interact With the Person at His or Her Level: You may want to interact with the
person the way you always have, but that isn’t going to be possible. Instead, figure out at
what level they appear to be behaving, then connect with them at that level.
4. To Connect With People Who Have Alzheimer’s, Put Something Meaningful in
Their Hand: You may have to experiment some to find out what is meaningful to any
specific person.
5. To Connect With People Who Have Alzheimer’s Try Introducing Them to Children,
Pets, Music or Art: These four activities will often reach people with Alzheimer’s sometimes even those in the late stages of the illness.
6. Don’t Argue, Correct or Disagree with Them: You usually can’t win an argument with
a person who has Alzheimer’s, so don’t even try. Neither should you contradict them. It
may make them dig in their heels more strongly.
7. Don’t Bring up Topics That May Upset the Person: If you know your loved one will
get upset if you talk about politics, for example, don’t start the conversation in the first
place. It will probably lead to a battle you don’t want to have.
8. Do Quickly Change the Subject If the Person Does Get Upset: If the person does get
upset, redirect their attention to something else, preferably something pleasant.
9. Don’t Quit Visiting When the Person Doesn’t Know Who You Are: Just because
your loved one does not recognize you doesn’t mean they have no feelings. People with
Alzheimer’s may enjoy being visited even if they don’t know who the visitor is.
10. Do Take Care of Yourself: Take good care of yourself for your benefit and for the good
of the person for whom you’re caring. You can’t be an effective, compassionate
caregiver if you’re exhausted and burned out all the time.
Courtesy of Marie Marley, Author of Come Back Early Today:
A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy
www.ComeBackEarlyToday.com - 913-633-9080 - PO Box 2674, Olathe, KS, 66063
Come Back Early Today – A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy
www.ComeBackEarlyToday.com