SUCCESS
WHAT IS SUCCESS?
Rabbi Moshe Gans
“SUCCESS!" Published by Mesorah Publications, Ltd. - www.artscroll.com : Reprinted with Permission
The following is an edited version of the complete text.
Imagine for a moment that you are an athlete, preparing to compete against five others in a race.
You spend weeks training for the event. Finally, the big day comes. You try your hardest and run
your fastest, but by the time you reach the finish line, someone else has already crossed it.
Coming in second place, are you a winner or one of four losers? Would you say you are
successful or unsuccessful?
Suppose you are a student in a class of 30. As the year comes to a close, the teacher is about to
choose two students for the honor roll. Although you have worked your hardest during the year,
you are not chosen. The teacher explains that since you rank third in the class, you do not
qualify. Are you a winner or one of 28 losers? Would you say you are successful or unsuccessful?
What is success? Is it coming in first? Is it the fastest? The strongest? The richest? The smartest?
The most knowledgeable? Is there only one winner -- and everyone else is a loser?
Or does success mean something else? Maybe it means trying your hardest and performing to the
best of your ability. When you run your fastest, even though you do not come in first place, you
are a success. When you study your hardest, even though you are not at the top of the class, you
are still a success. To be a success, maybe you don't have to be the richest, strongest, smartest,
fastest or most knowledgeable. Maybe you just have to do your best with your own abilities.
According to this interpretation, you are a success if you live up to your potential -- even if you
place last. But if your performance is anywhere short of your potential, you are not fully
successful -- even if you place first.
We will see shortly that rabbinic thinkers defined success the second way. They said that success
is determined by comparing one's performance to his or her own set of abilities. According to
the rabbis, one could have lost the race and still have been successful.
CONFUSION ABOUT SUCCESS
There are many people who are misguided about the meaning of success. They profess the Jewish
view, yet they glorify the single winner who comes in ahead of everyone else. They preach to
their children that the most important part of any task is effort; they say things like, "What's
important is not if you win or lose, but how you play the game." But at the same time, they fail to
applaud those who try their hardest and only place second or third. And when these people fail
to reach the top or get what they want in their own lives, they consider themselves unsuccessful
even if they put all their effort into the task. These people are obviously misinterpreting the
meaning of success, and they don't even know it. Are you acquainted with anyone like this?
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There are two other attitudes which are closely related to the win-or-lose point of view; the
make-it-to-the-top and the get-what-you-want attitudes. Here, the ones who are recognized are
the people who make it to the top or simply get what they want, even if they stand alongside
others who have made the same achievement. Take the millionaire and the president of a
company as examples. Although there are many other millionaires and company presidents in the
world, each one is put on a pedestal for making it to the top and getting what he or she wants...
When children are growing up, parents often compare the performances of one child to another,
instead of looking at each child's capabilities separately. This treatment is often the first exposure
a child has to the world's interpretation of success. They too begin to compare themselves to
others; if others do better, they see themselves as losers, and if others do worse, they see
themselves as winners. This is the either/or attitude; either they win or lose, regardless of their
own set of talents.
The win-or-lose focus becomes even more prevalent as a child enters the competitive
environment of school. He is exposed to honor roles which salute the few "best" performers,
while disregarding those who make a noble effort to meet their own potential. In schools,
children participate in all sorts of competitions -- talent shows, spelling bees, and an assortment
of other athletic and creative contests -- which clearly separate the less competent children from
the more competent, without meaningful regard to personal capability or perseverance.
And what happens after these competitions come to an end? Teachers typically say,
"Congratulations to the contest winners. But really, you are all winners, because you all had fun
and learned something." While the intent here is to dispel the win-or-lose notion, some less
sensitive teachers mean it only as lip service. And every astute child knows the difference...
Some parents do tell their children how proud they are of their efforts. They say, "We know that
you studied hard and put a lot of effort into it. We are very proud of you for that." But their
noble message may become fuzzy if they loudly applaud a brother or sister who received A's. The
low achiever compares the way he is recognized for studying hard to the way the sibling is
recognized for reaching the top. This once again reinforces the win-or-lose point of view.
After completing twelve or more years of formal schooling, many young adults enter the
competitive world of business. In this environment, they not only see more of the same attitude,
but they are often forced to live by it. They may even take "win-or-lose" to its furthest extreme;
we call it "dog eat dog," where each person, in his or her pursuit for first place, pushes others
aside, steps on them, or deliberately causes them a personal or professional loss.
We can see that the very system in which we live instills in us the win-or-lose attitude. Indeed,
we are victims of our culture and therefore cannot be blamed for having confused beliefs. But
once we become aware of the proper attitude, we can train ourselves to view success differently.
Not only will we be living by Jewish values, we will be living a happier life, too…
FULL POTENTIAL
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SUCCESS
What words would you use to describe a successful person? Wise? Strong? Wealthy? Honored?
This is what popular opinion says. In fact, many people go so far as to say, "If only I had these four
qualities, I would feel truly accomplished."
How does popular opinion characterize these four qualities? Typically, wisdom is characterized by
the extent of one's knowledge; strength by one's ability to control and dominate others; wealth
by the material fortune one has amassed; honor by the degree of positive recognition one
receives from others.
The rabbis had a totally different view:
"Who is wise? The one who learns from others. Who is strong? The one who controls his
emotions. Who is rich? The one who is happy with his share. Who is honored? The one who
honors others." (Talmud - Avot 4:1)
In the Torah view, wisdom, strength, wealth and honor -- four signs of success -- are
characterized by the way you use your mind and express yourself, not by what you have or how
you are treated. Learn from others instead of amassing knowledge, and you are wise. Control
your emotions, not other people, and you are strong. Be happy with what you have instead of
collecting material possessions, and you are wealthy. Honor others instead of receiving it, and
you are honored. Train your mind in these traits, and by Jewish definition you are successful.
Success in the Torah view has nothing to do with coming in first, getting what you want, or
reaching the top. It is unrelated to other people, other things or external circumstances. Success
is how you look at life and how you use your own talents to deal with life's challenges and
opportunities… True success comes from within; it is generated within a person and finds its way
out. This is very different from the popular view. (2)
Additionally, people who understand success according to the Jewish view do not need
recognition from others to keep them motivated. When they do their best, they know it and are
proud of it, regardless of how their performance compares to that of others. Since they do not
compare themselves to others, they never say, "Why bother trying? I will never come out on
top." On the contrary, they compare their performance to their ability, and are therefore
motivated to try their hardest even when others perform better...
People who have the Jewish view of success and winning may find that they are able to cope
more effectively with life's challenges. They may find that their lives are enriched as a result. We
will now list some definitions of success and winning that exemplify the Torah view. The
definitions may seem repetitive, but each has a different nuance.
WINNING IS DOING YOUR BEST WITH THE STRENGTHS YOU HAVE
We mentioned earlier that the world judges success by comparing one's performance with the
performance of others. You are called a success only if you reach the top or do better than
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everyone else. This is not fair, because you can only do as well as your potential allows. The fact
that someone else can do better is irrelevant. He was born with that capacity. You, on the other
hand, can only do what your innate strengths allow. Therefore, "reaching the top" for you is
different from "reaching the top" for him. You have "reached the top" if you do the best you can
possibly do with the strengths you have, even if others perform better...
The Talmud relates an incident which demonstrates the futility of comparisons. Rabbi Yosef, the
son of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi, became ill and passed away. He subsequently came back to life,
and his father asked him what he had seen in the other world. He answered, "I saw an upsidedown world; people whom we consider important are on the bottom, while people whom we
consider unimportant are on the top." His father responded, "My son, what you saw was the
clear world." (3)
Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi was teaching his son that the people whom we consider successful may,
in truth, be failures, and the people whom we consider failures may actually be successful. The
reason for this confusion is that we, in the "unclear world," define success differently from the
way the "clear world" of the Torah defines it. We therefore frequently give honor to the wrong
people...
This means that if your knowledge is commensurate with your capacity to learn, you have
reached the top, even if there are others who are more knowledgeable. If your business has
grown to the level that your capital and acumen allow, you have made it to the top, even if there
are others who have built more lucrative businesses. If you have done all you could possibly do,
you have made it to the top, even if others appear to have accomplished more. You are a winner
as long as you do your best with the strengths you have…
TOWARD THE GOAL
The rabbis told us that the effort to reach a goal -- any progress we make toward it -- is also
important. We should not focus solely on good performance; we should also focus on effort -progressive movement in the direction of good performance... (6) Toil is the important factor
here. Toil means the progressive movement toward a goal. The rabbis told us here that if we toil,
we are rewarded, because this is considered success…
So if you have been working on a project for a long time and have not yet completed it, don't say,
"I haven't reached my goal. I am not successful;" say instead, "I am making progressive movement
toward my goal. I am therefore succeeding."
Suppose you are a student studying for an exam, and after several hours of study you still do not
understand something. Don't throw your hands up in despair and cry, "I have spent all this time
studying, and I still don't understand it." Say instead, "Yesterday, I knew nothing about this topic,
and today I know something. True, I do not fully understand it, but look how much progress I
have made. As long as I am progressing toward my goal, I am successful."
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Suppose you are a parent trying to motivate a child to share household duties. Although the child
is fulfilling many of his duties, he is still neglecting some. Don't become frustrated and say, "I have
been trying to get him to take on his share of household work, but he is just not cooperating. I
am obviously not a very effective parent." Say instead, "Look how much progress he has made.
Last month, he did nothing but eat, play and sleep. Now, he is also helping out with some
household work. True, he has not yet reached the goal I have set for him, but he is making
progress. In time, he will do more."
SUCCESS IS THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION
When you travel, you no doubt have a destination in mind. Reaching that destination is the end of
a long process. First comes the journey, then the destination. It is the same with any goal; first
you make the preliminary steps, then you reach the goal. All the steps in between are part of a
long process called "success."
So whenever you set a goal and fall short of reaching it, or you miss the deadline to complete it,
you can still be proud of your accomplishments, because as long as you are making progress, you
are traveling on the road of success. You are not a failure if you miss a goal, but you are a failure
if you stop trying, because once that happens you have brought the journey to a close...
A person with the Jewish view of success appreciates his efforts and improvements as part of the
success process. He does not need a specific achievement to feel successful; with each
development in the right direction, he sees himself as a winner -- even if he falls short of his goal.
He is always competing against himself, not others. He takes pride in every new development,
and his self-esteem is bolstered. This is what we mean when we say that success is a way of life,
not a specific achievement or personality type...
FOOTNOTES
1. Mesilas Yesharim, Chapter. 19.
2. See Rabbi Abraham Twerski, "Let us Make Man," CIS Publishers, 1989, pp. 92-102.
3. Talmud - Pesachim 5Oa. and Rashi there.
4. Explained by Rabbi Chaim Dov Keller, Jewish Observer, May 1982.
5. Talmud - Avot 1:15.
6. Darash Moshe, p. 111.
7. Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv, cited in HaMeoros HaGedolim, p. 94.
8. Talmud - Pesachim 22b.
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