SELF-WORTH DECLARATION
By Terry L. Ledford, Ph.D.
This Declaration is for you. It contains 50 truth statements
regarding your beliefs about yourself and your treatment of
yourself.
Read these statements slowing and carefully. Think through each
statement. Ponder the application of that statement for yourself.
Read a statement again. Consider its truth for other human
beings, and then apply that truth to you.
These truth statements are adapted from Dr. Ledford’s book,
“Parables for a Wounded Heart”
Overcoming the Wounds to Your Self-Esteem and Transforming Your Perception of You
You can find more information on the book and other programs
to address self-esteem wounds at www.TerryLedford.com.
1. I was born into this world a perfectly wonderful
and lovable baby. I was as precious and valuable
and good as any other baby. All babies are precious
and deserve to be loved and cared for.
2. As a new baby, I had no sense of self, and so I had
no positive or negative self-esteem. I had not yet
learned to compare myself with others.
3. From the time I recognized that I was a separate
being, distinct from my parents, siblings, and the
rest of the world, I began gathering information to
answer the question, “Who am I?”
4. If I experienced love and affection, I learned to see
myself as lovable. If I experienced neglect or
distance, I saw myself as unimportant or not
likeable.
5. If I experienced encouragement and positive
feedback, I felt competent and capable. If I
experienced harsh criticism and judgment, I felt
inadequate and incompetent.
6. If I was abused, I felt bad and dirty. I felt shame.
7. I automatically internalized the messages that
were given to me. A child is like a sponge. If a
sponge is placed beside clear, pure water, it will
soak it up. If it is placed beside acid, it will soak
that up just as readily. The sponge has no choice.
Neither does the child. Neither did I.
8. My childhood (and later) events determined my
beliefs about who I am.
9. Those beliefs reflect the messages I was given, not
who I really am. Of course, I didn’t know this.
10. All children are egocentric, meaning that they
perceive everything as being their fault. They see
criticism as a result of their inadequacy. They see
distance or neglect as a result of their lack of value.
The abuse victim often blames herself for the abuse.
I know it is not the child’s fault. It wasn’t my fault
either. I was also just a child.
11. Like others, my brain tends to hold onto or
maintain my existing beliefs, even when they are
untrue. This means that, once I acquire a belief, I
will keep it forever unless something happens to
change it. Even then, changing a belief is difficult
and requires persistence.
12. My negative self-beliefs trigger negative
thoughts that go through my mind each and every
day, often occurring many times per day.
13. I don’t notice this negative self-talk because it
happens so often and it feels right to me. If feels
normal.
14. Even though I may not notice my negative
thoughts, they have a major impact on my mood,
my choices, and ultimately, my life.
15. Eliminating those negative, self-destructive
thoughts may be the most important work I will
ever do.
16. The negative or hurtful events that occurred in
my childhood were significant and would have
made a similar impact on any other child.
17. The fact that I am still affected by my childhood
experience is normal, not a sign of weakness.
18. Changing my negative self-beliefs will be
difficult, but working to make this change is
enormously important because it will change the
rest of my life.
19. I was hurt as a child, and needed someone to be
emotionally supportive and take care of me.
20. I can be that person now. By learning to be
compassionate with myself, I can take care of me
now. I can learn to treat myself with the same
kindness that I would offer to another.
21. When I was a child, I was helpless. I’m not
helpless now, and I can be assertive and take care of
me.
22. Sometimes people fail to recognize the true
worth of a person.
23. Sometimes people are treated as worthless.
24. That negative treatment doesn’t alter the
person’s actual worth.
25. I was made by my creator, just exactly as every
other human being on earth.
26. My creator only makes precious creations.
27. I am as precious and important as any other
human being.
28. I have, and have always had, the mark of my
creator. It is unmistakable.
29. There have been some people in my life who have
had the wisdom to recognize that mark and my
inherent value. Their behaviors conveyed the
message that I was precious. I never doubted that
they respected me and loved me. I must listen to
them.
30. I must stop listening to the people who failed to
recognize my value and who treated me badly. Their
negative treatment of me was a reflection of who
they were, not who I was.
31. Everything we experience is impacted by
perception, which is the brain’s attempt to make
sense of the stimuli that contacts the senses.
32. Perception can often be distorted. We tend to see
what we expect to see. If I expect to see rejection or
disapproval, I will usually see just that. I will
interpret neutral interactions as incidents of
rejection or disapproval.
33. Our prior experience with criticism or rejection
causes our mind to add information to later events,
which leads us to believe that we are being
criticized or rejected.
34. Every human being sees himself or herself and
the world through a lens.
35. When we are born, our lens is probably accurate.
36. Our experiences of childhood cause the lens to
become distorted.
37. The severity of the lens distortion is determined
by the severity of the negative childhood
experiences.
38. The distortion of the lens tends to be consistent,
producing the same distorted perceptions over time.
39. We have to understand the nature of our lens
distortion and the perceptions it creates.
40. Lens distortions can cause us to magnify our
faults or mistakes, while minimizing other’s faults
or mistakes.
41. Lens distortions can cause us to blame ourselves
for any problems we or our loved ones experience in
life.
42. Sometimes we really do make mistakes, and
sometimes we really do fail.
43. Even when those mistakes or failings are serious,
our attitude in addressing them is very important.
44. We can address our failures with harsh, no
excuses, no forgiveness tones or we can address
them with compassion. Compassion always works
better.
45. Treating ourselves with compassion doesn’t
mean that we dismiss or underestimate the
seriousness of our mistake. It doesn’t mean that we
are letting ourselves off the hook. It simply means
that we address the problem while being kind to
ourselves.
46. We know that self-compassion and kindness
simply works better in correcting failures and
promoting later successes.
47. With daily practice and self-monitoring, I can
learn to be kind to myself.
48. I can learn to treat myself with the same
kindness that I would show to someone else that I
love.
49. With practice and deliberate effort, I can stop
my negative, self-critical thinking, and feel better
about myself. I can heal my self-esteem wounds.
49. Like every other human being, I am a wonderful
creation of God. I was known before the creation of
the universe and I am loved by my Creator. I can do
nothing to make Him love me more, and I can do
nothing that would make Him love less.
50. I am me. I will love myself, and treat myself
with the same respect and kindness that I would
want for anyone else that I love.