20 ALTERNATIVES
TO “HOW WAS YOUR DAY?”
SPENCERIDEAS.ORG
1. What is one mistake you made today? What did you learn as a result? My kids have a
perfectionist streak that's reinforced at school with the label as a “good student.” They become riskaverse after doing really well on a particular project. This is especially true in those moments when I say
things like, “You’re doing such a great job” without acknowledging that mistakes are a part of the learning
process. So, this question is a quiet reminder that mistakes are a part of learning and that they have the
permission to take good risks.
2. Tell me about recess. This question gets kids talking about friends and social interaction. Although
it’s not necessarily academic, these are critical elements for a child’s social and emotional development.
This is often when a parents finds out about the more painful parts of school (like conflict, isolation, etc.)
However, it's also a chance to find out about their new interests (trying out basketball instead of soccer).
Plus, it's something they like to talk about it.
3. What was the most interesting thing you learned in school today? As a dad, I want to hear my
kids geek out about something cool they learned in school. It might be fractions or volcanoes or some
random historical event. Talking about this helps me find informational texts that they might enjoy. It lets
me know what they find fascinating that I might be missing at home. Plus, it sets the tone for the fact that
learning is still a blast.
4. What is one thing you wished you had done today? This question can go anywhere. Sometimes
they talk about what they failed to do (I wish I had worked harder) and other times they talk about what
they wish they could do at school (make a model roller coaster). Either way, it taps into their desires and it
pushes them to reflect about what they want to do.
5. What is a question you have that hasn't been answered in class? Sometimes questions aren't
answered in class. Sometimes my kids don't want to ask for help. This can be a chance for an impromptu
tutoring session. More often, though, it's a random question that has almost nothing to do with the
subject. It's a meandering question that they can't ask, because teachers can't let kids wander away from
the curriculum map. It's something like "What causes hurricanes?" or "Did the pilgrims just steal the land
from the Indians?"
6. What was the hardest thing you learned today? I love when my kids can be open about the fact that
some things are hard to learn. Maybe it's making an inference. Maybe it's understanding how decimals
convert into fractions. Whatever it is, there is almost always something challenging that they faced. I've
found that reflecting on this challenge can actually make it easier to ask for help.
7. What was the easiest thing you learned today? (Alternate: Was there something you learned
today that you already knew really well?) This can lead to a discussion on their strengths but also talk
about the need to ask teachers for more challenging work. Plus, it gives them a free chance to brag and
who doesn't like that?
8. What did you learn in ________? Could you show me an example? Sometimes this can be eye
opening. For example, I didn't realize how neglected history and science could be in schools. Those
subjects have been pushed out in favor or more reading and math. So, on some level, this question gives
me a snapshot of what they did. However, it also gives them the chance to talk and reflect upon what they
did, what they learned and what they'll do next. I'll sometimes ask, "What activities did you do in ______?"
to get more of a sense of what they actually do in each subject.
9. Who is your favorite (or least favorite) character in the book you're reading?
I want to know about the books they read during silent reading, but I also want them to tell me about who
the characters are and what drives them. Sometimes I'll alternate this with, "What part of the story are you
on?" and "What do you think will happen next?" Sometimes I ask them what they would say to a particular
character if they met face-to-face.
10. What was your favorite part of the day?
I love hearing them talk about everything from what they like to learn to how they like to learn. I love
hearing the seemingly random stories about classmates. It's not always academic, but that's the point: I
am dealing with my child, not my student.
11. What was your least favorite part of the day?
I used to avoid this question, because I didn't want to be negative. However, I soon realized that there
were big things happening that I missed. I was avoiding hard conversations. I was missing a chance to
comfort my kids on their bad days.
12. What do you wish your teacher knew about you? I ask this because I sometimes wish I could get
that kind of information out of my own students. So much of the conflict I've experienced comes from
simple misunderstandings about who a child is and what he or she needs.
13. If you could take a field trip to any place inside of anything you read today, where would you
go? I want my kids to grow up internalizing the idea that reading is epic and that it takes you places that
you couldn't go. This question gets them exploring mental spaces of both the realistic informational texts
and the fantasy novels that they read.
14. What is one thing you wish you could do over today? One of the things I love about this question
is that it can lead to a reflection about a happy moment that my child might want to experience again or it
could lead to a reflection on a mistake he or she would like to change.
15. Is there something you know well enough that you could teach it to others? (Optional: Can
you teach it to me?) What’s fun about this question is that it helps kids articulate an area where they can
consider themselves an expert. Every child (even the ones considered “low” by the tests) has an area of
expertise. When kids can demonstrate this area to a parent, it builds self-confidence and self-efficacy.
16. What is something you are really interested in that you still find difficult to do? I want to know
that my kids are being challenged and that they are enjoying what they learn at the same time. I see both
of those components being key to their intrinsic motivation. This question helps them think about whether
they enjoy what they are learning while also seeing whether or not there’s a challenge present.
17. What is the strangest thing that happened to you today? I love this question because it gets into
strange, bizarre, quirky things that happened. Sometimes the answer is completely random (“The boy
next to me blew his nose and the boogers were really brown, like, really, really, brown, like he just sniffed
a pile of dirt, brown.”) I used to ask, “What is the funniest thing that happened?” but often they couldn’t
name anything particularly funny. But strange? There’s always something strange.
18. Who did you hang out with today? What are they like? I want to know who my kids are spending
time with – not as a parent who is being obsessive about who they can and cannot hang out with, but as
a window into who they want to spend time with. It gives me an extra glimpse at each child’s personality.
19. What is one thing you want to accomplish before the end of this week? Month? Year? Although
I don’t want to be a high-pressure parent, I do want to see my kids feeling empowered to set goals and
make plans. Sometimes their answers connect to school. Other times, they are connected to smaller
projects that they are doing on their own time. Still, other times, it’s something as simple as finishing a
longer novel.
20. If you could invent your own class or subject what would it be? What would you do? I want to
know about their dream classroom space because I want to think strategically about what they can do
during Summer Vacation. I want to think of opportunities I can create for them. So, even if it’s a wild idea
(“Our class would be on a rocket”) I can do my best to make it happen (building model rockets, reading a
book about rockets, making pillow fort rockets).