December
2016
June
2016
What do words convey that a look,
We’re now on
Facebook! “Like”
our page as
another way to
connect to
behind-thescenes looks,
information about
events, and stories
from others who
are family
caregivers!
a touch, or simply being next to someone
cannot? In this issue of Centered, the official
newsletter for the Family Caregivers Center of
Mercy, we look at the power of the unspoken
word. Mark Twain believed that ‘Kindness is
the language which the deaf can hear and the
blind can see’. Many of you will understand
what he means, having started and ended conversations with a look toward your
loved one or perhaps a hug back from them in a time of need. Like all language,
the body language between caregiver and care receiver flows both ways. Let’s learn
to maximize this powerful tool every day. Thank you for reading Centered.
Monthly events are listed at www.familycaregiverscenter.org
Caregiver Corner
Care Receiver Corner
Individuals with dementia are individuals
first. Depending on the stage the individual is
in, the ability to understand what is being
said varies. In all cases, at all stages, the
individual picks up the
body language of the
speaker. If the speaker is
angry or frustrated, the
person with dementia
picks up the feeling and may become agitated.
This behooves the caregivers to keep their
feelings in check. Individuals with dementia
are not able to modify their reactions. It is the
responsibility of the caregiver to alter not just
what is said, but how it is said - Kathy Good
In addition to
community posts from
our caregivers, we will
also be soliciting input
from any of our care
receivers. Care receivers are in a unique
position, with the opportunity to provide
suggestions and personal accounts that may
impact the lives of others who are unable to
voice their concerns. Submissions of all kinds
are welcome. As with the caregiver
submissions, please email all submissions to
[email protected] or drop off
a copy of your submissions with Mary or
Kathy at our office.
www.familycaregiverscenter.org
Love’s Own Language
December Book of the Month!
It had been a long, tiring day caring for my husband who
suffered from Alzheimer’s disease, and when he spit the
pill out, I was upset and said in an unkind voice, “Why
did you do that?”
I got down on the floor to look for the pill and heard him
softly say, “But that’s what you told me to do, isn’t it?”
I began to cry. How could I have been so cross with him
when he had done exactly what he understood me to say?
The doctor had told me that he might begin processing
language in reverse; that his “yes” could be “no” and a
“no” could be “yes.” Obviously when I asked him to
swallow the pill he had understood me to say just the
opposite.
When he saw me crying, he reached out to me. “Don’t
cry. Come here,” which caused me to cry even harder.
Moving over by his wheelchair, I put my head on his knee
and he patted my shoulder.
Although he didn’t understand my asking him to swallow
the pill, he did understand my distress and pain and in
spite of all the confusion and damage the disease had
done to his mind, his love caused him to reach out to
comfort me.
Eventually the disease left him unable to speak except for
an occasional word here and there. And even when he
could not express in words what he was thinking, in his
own way he still communicated. When I did something to
make him more comfortable, he would look at me with a
soft expression in his eyes, acknowledging what I had
done. When I straightened the bedclothes or changed his
gown, he would take hold of my hand and caress it.
These gestures spoke to me as eloquently as if he had
spoken out loud, proving where there is love, there will
never be an insurmountable language barrier.
— LeAnn Thieman, excerpted from our book of the month (right)
Our book of the month is
Chicken Soup for the Caregiver’s
Soul: Stories to Inspire Caregivers in
the Home, Community and the
World by Jack Canfield, Mark
Victor Hansen, and fellow Iowan
LeAnn Thieman.
An excerpt of Ms. Thieman’s
exceptional work from the book
is provided at length on the left.
You may learn more about Ms.
Thieman, who is a Hall of Fame Speaker, author, and
nurse, at www.LeAnnThieman.com.
Article of Interest
In the piece, Why Most Alzheimer’s Research is Done on EarlyOnset Patients like Pat Summitt, Maggie Koerth-Baker explores early onset dementia and what it means for researchers:
“...this small cadre is the group
most studied by scientists.”
“This is where people who
share Summitt’s early-onset diagnosis become important. Although 5.4 million Americans have Alzhiemer’s, only about 200,000 of those are diagnosed before
age 65....These people are special because their Alzheimer’s is more likely to have a strong genetic component
than the kind that strikes in old age.”
Source: fivethirtyeight.com
Our quote of the month comes from The Inspired Caregiver by Tia Walker:
“To care for those who once cared for us
is one of the highest honors.”
www.familycaregiverscenter.org