Personal skills to manage your hierarchy
and peers
ACA training webinar by Bob Griffiths, RGA services
12 July 2011
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Bob Griffiths
• ICAEW Chartered Accountant
• Over 20 years experience as a personal and business coach
• Proven track record of helping others develop their interpersonal
skills
• Able to work at senior level up to Boards and CEOs
• Mentor for the F-TEN programme for ICAEW members who want to
reach FD positions
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What we will cover
• What we mean by ‘dealing with’
• What makes a person unmanageable or difficult
• Differences between coping with those above you and those
below you in the hierarchy
• Tactics for dealing with both groups
• How to develop the necessary skills
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What do we mean by ‘dealing with/managing’?
• We don’t have to be good friends with or even like the people
we work with. It is more pleasant if we are friendly with them
but it is not necessary or always possible
• What is necessary is a degree of understanding and
communication that gets work done efficiently
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What constitutes an unmanageable person?
It is very personal experience
Someone who is responding in a way we
don’t like or want AND we don’t know how
to deal with the behaviour
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Exercise
Think about the characteristics you personally find
unmanageable. Could be single words like ‘taciturn’
or angry or phrases like ‘Nothing to do with me’
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Some typical behaviours of unmanageable people
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•
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•
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They are bullies
They are negative – criticise but never praise
They thrive on conflict
They like frustrating others
They take credit for other’s work
They use awkwardness manoeuvre for political or status gain
They try to get out of work or do it to a low standard
They are incapable of seeing another’s viewpoint
They like being a ringleader
They are technically bad and do not wish to develop
They have bad personal standards eg, timekeeping
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Differences between managing those above and
below us
• Some tactics are the same regardless of where you are in the
hierarchy
• Some tactics will be different according to whether you have
any direct responsibility for the person or not
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The power platform
Subordinate
Internal
Superiors
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Suppliers
You
External
Customers
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Exercise
How do you normally respond when faced with a
difficult or unmanageable person? Do you have
different tactics if they are senior or junior to you?
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How NOT to deal with difficult/unmanageable people
• Sarcasm
• Bitterness
• Giving way all the time
• Getting angry
• Getting upset
• Threatening them
Or
• Being over logical
• Repeating the same thing many times
Remember the old adage – If what you are doing is not
working, try something else!
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Tactic # 1: understanding human motivation
People will do something for one of two reasons:
1.The want to do it
2.They are afraid of what will happen if they don’t
These are the only two reasons anyone does anything and it is
perfectly acceptable to use both motivations in management.
However applying them crudely can lead to more problems.
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Remember
• Human beings are very complex. Simple carrot and stick
approaches only work with very simple tasks
• You can work on others motivation to do things in many
different ways
• Studies have shown that increasing monetary reward can
actually have a negative effect on performance
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How to increase motivation
Remember:
• Just telling people what they have to do and expecting
obedience will only result in basic compliance
• If you want your staff to engage with the work you need:
– Autonomy – the desire to direct our own lives
– Mastery – our urge to get better at what we do
– Purpose – our sense of wanting to have meaning in our lives
• If you want your staff to want to do the work and really
engage with it you need to work at bringing these factors into
the work they do
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Tactic #2: brief back
Many problems between people at work are caused by
unclear communication. You can improve your
communication skills by using the brief back technique:
– Repeating to your boss your understanding of what you will do
– Having your subordinates repeat back to you what they are
going to do
If they/you can do repeat the task back you know that
they/you have understood the task clearly. If they are not able
to do this you will know that further explanation or
understanding is necessary
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Tactic # 3: understanding other’s values
People are motivated to do things when they fit in with their
values. So do you know what matters to your
boss/colleagues?
1. Saving or making money for the company
2. Looking good to his/her boss – gaining promotion
3. Being efficient/improving things
4. Creating value
5. Completing assignments on time and to a high standard
6. Customer or staff satisfaction
7. Status or pay
8. Getting acknowledgment
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How do you find out a person’s values?
Two great questions for eliciting values
1. What is most important to you about …? For example ‘What
is most important for you about this audit?’ They might reply
‘The most important thing is that the client is happy’ So you
follow up with
2. How would you know….? For example ‘How would you
know that the client was happy?’ They might reply ‘They
reappoint us for the next year and give us additional work’
Once you have asked these questions (and there may be more
than one point that your boss is concerned about) you know
– What is important to them
– How you will know if you have hit that target
Not bad for two questions!
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Other ways of finding a Person’s Values?
We all do this unconsciously a lot of the time. But you can
make it more conscious by:
1. Listening and watching carefully to discover who and what
are they concerned about
2. Noticing their behaviour. What or who makes them respond
quickly and what/who do they ignore
3. Noticing what gives them satisfaction. What are they proud
about?
4. Notice what they see as failures or where they have not
succeeded
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Exercise
Take a moment and think about one particular
person you have worked with. From the points we
have just covered ask yourself ‘What do I know
about this person’s values?’
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Using values: example 1
Jane was a successful sales person who was very frustrated
with the state of IT she had to use. She knew her boss was
fairly indifferent to complaints by staff but was very concerned
about what the customers thought
So instead of complaining to him about her problems she
pointed out to him that the customers were complaining about
the waits caused by the equipment. The boss promptly
ordered new equipment
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Using values: example 2
Richard was an audit senior. He knew the partner in charge
was very concerned about anything that could impinge on the
relationship with the client. He had one team member who,
despite repeated discussions, kept using an abrasive style
with his colleagues and client’s staff
This caused a lot of problems to Richard but when he decided
to go to the partner to ask for him to be replaced, he
explained how the person was causing problems to the client
and thus endangering the relationship. The person was
swiftly replaced
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Tactic #4: build your interpersonal skills
There are a number of key interpersonal skills that will really
help you in communicating at all levels
1. Assertiveness training – which teaches the difference
between assertiveness and aggression
2. Negotiation skills – these can be of great benefit in any
number of business and personal situations
3. Learning to understand yourself. You can use the values
questions we looked at earlier for yourself to understand
what drives you in different situations
4. Learning to stay aware of your body. In stressful situations
we often lose touch with our bodies. Techniques such as
autogenic training, visualisation and meditation can help us
to stay grounded in our physical presence
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Tactics for working with juniors/colleagues
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Tactic #5: clear communication of task
Let people know clearly what you want them to do. You
should include:
• What is to be done – be clear on the task
• Why it is important – if they don’t know they might not care
• By when – is it an absolute deadline?
• What they might need to know to complete the task and how
to find/learn the information
• Success measures – how to know they have completed it
• Responsibility levels – what they can and cannot do
• Milestones – what progress you need to see
• Communication – what you need to be told about progress
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What if the job is just boring!
Unfortunately in any job (but particularly in auditing!) there is an
element of the work that is just repetitious and boring. There is
often no way round this other than to just knuckle down and get it
over with. Here are a few tactics that might make help you
motivate others in doing boring tasks:
• Make sure you are offering a balance of work with each person
and not just giving them the boring stuff
• Encourage them to find a way of doing the job that interests them
• Acknowledge when a job is not interesting but just has to be done
• Put the work in context about why it has to be done
• Encourage the person to develop themselves and move on to
more interesting roles
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Tactic #6: when someone is unmotivated/unhelpful
Bear in mind:
1. No one is going to be motivated and happy 100% of the time
2. If you notice a pattern developing it is a good idea to address
it sooner rather than later
3. Try and address it with a neutral and curious tone of voice ‘I
notice that every time I ask you to do a task you look very fed
up – is anything wrong?’
4. Practise active listening. Repeat back what they have said in
your own words and see if they agree you have it correct
5. See if you can help but don’t feel you have to take
responsibility for their problem/issue
6. If there are consequences for them then make those clear
but try and not threaten the person
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Tactics for working with your boss,
colleagues and senior people
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Tactic #7: keep the conversation in adult mode
Many of us tend to respond to confrontations with people
senior to us in the same way we responded to parents or
teachers. Here are some hints for keeping the conversation
on a adult mode:
• Use a neutral tone of voice
• Explain what you are trying to achieve
• Be honest about what you are feeling. You can use the
emotional literacy formula ‘When you do ‘A’ I feel ‘B’. What I
would like you to do is ‘C’. Will you? For example ‘When you
shout at me in the office I feel angry and resentful. What I
would like you to do if you feel I have made a mistake is to
speak to me privately. Will you?’
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Tactic #8: the covert way of creating change
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
There is one very effective way of creating change covertly in
others
Notice the behaviour that you want them to change
Find a quiet time and ask them for advice
State that you too have been having a problem with this sort
of behaviour, you note that they seem to handle it well and
ask for their help in changing. NOTE this must be done in a
neutral tone of voice
They might protest that they are not great at this but persist
and say you think they do well. And try and get some advice
This now puts them in a sort of ‘double bind’ where you are
looking to them for advice so they have to show they can
handle the situation differently
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Any questions
Please feel free to submit any
questions you have on any
part of the presentation and I
will answer as many as I can
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Further reading/resources
• Make Peace with Anyone: by David J. Lieberman
• Everything is Negotiable Gavin Kennedy
• Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No: Herbert
Fensterheim Ph.D
• When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: by Manuel J. Smith
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
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ICAEW support
• More on dealing with unmanageable people in ‘Ask an
expert section at icaew.com/studentcommunity
• ‘Dealing with difficult people’ webinar on IPD section of
website at icaew.com/ipd
– Go to bottom of page to ‘ACA training webinars’
• Various articles from VITAL magazine at icaew.com/ipd
– Go to bottom of page to ‘IPD articles’
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Next steps
• Webinar recording, presentation and Q&A will be
available in about 48 hours time at
icaew.com/studentcommunity and icaew.com/ipd
• Tell us what you think – a survey will be sent to you
• Ethics
16 August 2011
• Effective networking
20 September 2011
• Client relationship skills
19 October 2011
• Register at icaew.com/acawebinars
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