“HOLDTHECOURSE”
Itwasaninvitationnottobeignored.Itcamefromadistantrelative,although
neitherofusknewtheexactnatureofourrelationship.Perhaps,hethought,when
hesentmealetteronesummerdayin2013,Icouldclarifymatters.Hisletterwas
writteninalonghandsocalligraphicitmighthavebeenprinted.Wouldmywife
andIjoinhimforasail?.The“sail,”itturnedout,wasona1914-vintageyachtbuilt
forthemotherofVitaSackville-West;Vita,thatextravagant,andtosomenotorious,
UigureintheBloomsburycircle.
Myanswerfollowedinaslantedandsquigglylonghand,notveryreadable,Ifeared,
butclearlyemphaticinacceptingtheinvitation.HowcouldI—acollectorof
Bloomsburiana--areaderandgreatadmirerofVirginiaWoolf--declinean
invitationtoentertheouteredgesoftheBloomsburycircle?
TheyachtwascalledtheSumurun,aplayfulspinon“SummerRun”Ithought.Butno,
itsnamecamefromahugelypopularspectacleperformedin1911London,
subsequentlydirectedbyMaxReinhardtinBerlin,andlaterturnedintoaUilmbythe
nolesslegendaryErnstLubitsch.Theplotrevolvedaroundabeautifulharemgirl,
theeponymousSumurun,afavoriteoftheSultan,butwhopreferredtheloveofa
handsomeyoungmerchant.
Thesynchronicityofthebeautifulharemgirlandthemotheroftheyacht’sowner
wasstriking.Liketheharemgirl,Sumurun,VitaSackville-West’sgrandmother,
Pepita(herfullname:VictoriaJosefaDoloresCatalinaSackville-West)wasstrikingly
beautifulandexotic.HerheritagewasSpanishwithasoupconofGypsy.Rumor
swirledaroundherbackground.Writingasateenager,VitaSackville-Westdeclared
“Shewastheillegitimatedaughterofagipsy(sic)andaSpanishduke...descended
fromLucreziaBorgia.”Yearslater,doingresearchforabiographyofPepita,Vita
amendedhergrandmother’sbackgroundtosomethingmoreprosaic.“Shewas
happilymarriedtoabarberofMalaga,PetroDuran,andafterherhusband’searly
deathsupportedherfamilybypatchingandsellingoldclothes.”Alesspicturesque
background,yes,butPepitawentontobecomeacelebrateddancer,“theStarof
Andalusia,”whereayoungEnglishdiplomat,LordSackville-West,metherinParis,
beginningalifelongliaison.Nevermarried,thepairhadastrongandloving
relationshipfornineteenyears.
Pepitadiedinchildbirth,leavingbehindaneightyearolddaughter,Victoria.After
hermother’sdeath,VictoriawassenttothesouthofFrancealongwithherbrothers
andsisters,tolivewithaclosefriendofthefamily.LatersenttoaParisconvent,she
livedaharshandconstrictedlife,onlyseeingherfathertwoorthreetimesayear.At
seventeenshewassenttoanotherconvent,thistimeinEnglandtolearnEnglish.
AyearlaterherfatherwasappointedAmbassadortoWashington.Whobetterthan
thispreternaturallybeautifulgirltoaccompanyhimasofUicialhostess?Herfather
removedherfromtheconvent.
“Releasedfromconventrule,“Vitawroteofhermother,“sheseemstohavebounded
uprightlikeasaplingthathadbeenbentdown.”.
Tallandslender,withlongblackeyelashesframingsea-blueeyes,withdarkhair
tumblingdowntoatinywaist,shequicklybecamethedarlingofWashington
society.Washingtonhadneverseenanythinglikeher.
NigelNicolson,thesonofVita,writesofhergrandmother,“”Shewasanatural
organizerandhostess,gracioustothedistinguishedand,lackingallshynessherself,
thoughtfulfortheshy.Intheconvent,dancinganddeportmenthadnotbeentaught,
butsheseemedtoknowitallinstinctively.InherUirstseasonshepresidedatUive
balls,withUivehundredguestsateach,andbegantochangetheconventionsand
eventheprotocolofsuchoccasions.Tothedelightoftheyoungensignsandattaches
whoUlockedaroundher,Uirstasanovelty,andsoonasaleaderoftheir
improvisations.FindingthattheHighlandreelwasunknowninWashington(she
herselfhavingUirstheardofitonlysixmonthsbefore),sheheldclassesinthe
Legationtowhichaninvitationwasanhonourand
acommand...Sheplayedtennis;rodehorseback;shotrapidsinacanoe;went
Uishing;discussedGeneralSherman’scampaignswithhim;huntedwithRedIndians;
visitedmanypartsoftheUnitedStates;andspenttwomonthseverywinter,where
shebrokeanotherdozenhearts.”
Duringherseveralyear’sstayintheCapitol,shereceivedtwenty-Uiveproposalsof
marriage(hertally,perhapsnothistory’s),amongthemonefromJ.P.Morganand
anotherfromthePresidentoftheUnitedStates,ChesterArthur
ShereturnedfromWashingtonwithherfatherin1888.There,Victoriacaughtthe
eyeofherUirstcousin,namedLionel,likeherfather.Proposalnumbertwentysix
followed,andthetwoweremarriedin1890
Bythattime,Victoria’sfatherhadinheritedoneofthegrandestestatesinEngland,
Knole,acomplexofjoinedbuildingscontaining365rooms,52staircases,and7vast
courtyards.Setina1,000acrepark,ithadaunique26acrewalledgarden..
Twoyearslaterthenewlymarriedcouplehadadaughter,VictoriaMarySackvilleWest,butalwaysknownasVita,soappropriateaname(Latin:“life;wayoflife”)for
somebodywhowastobecomeafree-wheelingspirit,knownastheloverofVirginia
Woolf,thewifeofthediplomatHaroldNicholsoninalong-livedopenmarriage,and
acelebratedBloomsburyauthorandwriter(andnomeangardenerfortheir
Sissinghurstestate).
In1896anewpersonenteredthelifeofKnole,SirJohnMurrayScott.An
immenselyrichbachelor.heownedseveralhomesinParisandEngland,andoneof
themostextraordinaryassemblagesofart,theWallaceCollection,whichcontaining
theUinesteighteenthcenturypaintingsoutsideofFrance.Standingsix-feet-four,
weighingwellover350pounds,“(Victoria)becameabsolutelythelightandairof
hislife,”Vitawastowrite.“Shebulliedandcharmedhim,foughtwithhim,
bewitchedhim,untilhesimplycouldnotexistwithouther.Ifhehadlosther,Ireally
believe,hewouldhavepinedawayanddied—oratanyrategotthin,whichseems
evenmoredifUiculttobelieve.”
NigelNicholsoncomments,“Toagreatextent,Knolecouldnothavefunctioned
withouthislargesse.TheKnoleestatehadanincomeof13,000Poundsayear,and
thiswasenoughtomaintainthefabricofthehouseandpaythestaffofsixtyindoor
andoutdoorservantsandthehouseholdbills.ButitdidnotpayforVictoria’s
improvements,herlargehouseinHillStreet,Lionel’ssportingexpeditions,their
constantweekendparties,herextravaganceinclothesandbibelots.”Anditdidnot
payforSumerun--agiftofVictoriatoherhusband,whenSirJohnMurrayScottdied,
leavingLadySackville150,000PoundsincashandahomeinParisworth350,000
Pounds
This,thenwasthebackgroundofSumurun,theboatcommissionedbyVita’s
motherasagifttoherhusband,agiftbuiltbytheScottishUirmofWilliamFifeand
Son,whowastoyachtsandroyaltywhatStradivariuswastoviolins.Myrelativehad
seenitatCanneswhere,heexplained,“IhadUirstseenherduringtheearlysummer
of1975whenIwasattendingtheCannesFilmFestivalasamemberoftheBoardof
theFilmSocietyofLincolnCenter...SomemenIhaveheardgotoUilmfestivalsto
meetbeautifulmoviestars,butIfoundSumerun...”
SumerunwastotakeusonashortspinaroundLongIslandSoundandalongtrip
throughhistory,stoppingbrieUlytopickupanotherpassenger,JeanKennedySmith,
JFK’ssister(Iknewthiswasgoingtobeatripthroughhistory,butneversorecentor
sospecial).
Thetripneverdidanswermyrelative’squestion,whatwasourrelationship?
Apparentlymymaternalgrandmotherwashismother’sbestfriend,andtheyboth
attendedsomethingcalledTheGoodmanFamilyCircle(alessexaltedcirclethanthe
Bloomsburyone).Weweredistantcousins,thatmuchIlearned,thatmuchwe
established.WhathelearnedwasthatIdidn’tgetseasick.
RefurbishedintheEdwardianmanner,theSumurunstillhaditsoriginalmixtureof
exoticwoodsinitsthreecabins,amongthemChineseoakandcarvedEnglishwhite
oak.ThesalonhadafoldingdeskthatonecouldimagineVitahavingusedto
updateherdiaryorcomposeherpoemsandnovels.
Mycousinsometimestookthehelmfromthecaptain,atonepointinvitingusto
sharethesteeringwheel.Thislandlubberdeclined,butmywifeaccepted.No
surprise,assailingwassecondnaturetoher.Shehadspentherteenageyearsin
Gloucesterandhadherownsailboat(noyacht,butavintageboatpicturedby
Winslowhomerinoneofhispaintings).
”Didyouknow,”heremarked,“thatnextyear[thiswasthen2013]wouldbethe
hundredthanniversaryoftheSumerun?I’veownedhersince1975,andinthattime
I’vesailedhermosteverywhere.Europe,theCaribbean,allovertheEasternCoast.
NextyearwemaytakehertoScotland,backtowhereshewasborn.Theremaybea
raceorganizedforthatevent.AracethatIhopeseesbetterweatherthanwehadin
(t/k).That’swhenwehitarealstorminthemid-Atlantic.I’llneverforgetthat.All
theotherboatshadmeteorologistsaboard.Professionalmeteorologists,experts,all
ofthem.Wejusthadourradar,soweknewaboutthatapproachingstorm.My
captainadvisedustochangecourse,butIdisagreed.Irememberedtheadvicean
oldveteranoncegavemeatouryachtclub,.‘Whenyou’reinarace,rememberthis
onething.Neverchangeyourcourse.Holdit.Holdthecourse.’
“Andthat’swhatIdid.ItwastheUirsttimeIevercountermandedmycaptain’sorder.
Probablythelasttime,too.ButI’mgladIdid.Westayedoncourse,weatheredthat
storm,andreachedtheUinishlinehoursbeforethoseotherboats.“
Ayearhaspassedsincethattrip,buteverynowandthenIthinkofthatadvice,of
thewaymycousinheldthecourseandreachedhisgoal.AndwithapangIthinkof
thetimes—toomanyofthem—whenIfacedastormofself-doubtaboutprojectsI
hadundertaken,thenwavered,andUinallychangedcourse.Inparticular,Ithinkofa
projectIhadbegunwiththehopethatIwasgoingtofulUillanalmostlifelong
ambition--toproduceananimatedfeatureTheprojectwastobeCandide,the
Voltaireoriginal,nottheBernsteinversion,basedsomewhatonaCandideIhad
illustratedforOlivettibackinthemid-Seventies.Ihadbegunproductiononthis
self-Uinancedfeature,andendedupwithtwentyminutesofUilm,mostlyinUinished
form.ButtheUilmwasn’tworking--andbesides,Ihadrunoutofmoney,runoutof
energy,andmostimportant(well,themoneywasn’tunimportant),Ihadrunoutof
self-conUidence.
Manyweeksaftertheproductionhadstopped,Iwentintomyeditingroomone
nightwithmyeditor.Ilookedatthefootageagain--andthenitstruckme.Iwaslike
Candidehimself.AtonepointinmyUilmCandidewashomelessandpenniless,fresh
fromhavingbeenabductedintotheBulgarianarmyandbarelyhavingescapedwith
hislifefromabattleUieldlitteredwitharms,legs,andbrains.Alright,mysituation
wasnotthatdesperate,butitwasrealenoughtome.Irecutthefootagesothatthe
openingnowbecameCandideduringhismomentofdespair.AndtheUilmcame
alive.Itwasreal,itwashonest,andmoretothepoint,itwassomethingthatwould
immediatelypullaviewerintothestory.
MyproblemhadbeenthatIwassobusymakingVoltaire’sCandidethatIforgotthat
IwastheUilmmaker,notVoltaire.HisCandidewasabook,astartingpoint,a
launchingpad,nomore.Andnow,withmyCandide,theUilmbreathed.Butthebreath
wastakenoutofmebythen,andIneverresumedproduction.Ihadabandoned
course.
Howmanyotherpeople’sprojects,Iwondered,hadbegunbravely,eagerly,
hopefully—onlytobeabandonedprematurely?E.M.Forster,yearsaftercompleting
hisacclaimedHoward’sEnd,hadstoppedworkonanovelthatdidn’tseemtogoing
anywhere.HehappenedtobevisitingLeonardWoolfoneday,andmentionedhis
abandonedmanuscript.Showittome,Woolfrequested.Forsterdid,Woolfreadit,
andproclaimeditamasterpiece.E.M.ForsterthenwentontocompleteAPassage
toIndia.
Howmanyotherartistshadabandonedtheirmasterpiecesprematurely?Howmany
BrahmshadthrowntheirunUinishedscoresintotheDanube?HowmanyKaUkashad
askedtheirexecutorstoburntheirstill-unpublishedwriting?HowmanyGeorges
Bizets,inthewordsofthecritic,PaulHorgan,“...conceivedmanylarge,even
grandiloquentworks,beganseveral,completedfew.Andnothingcameofany...
(duetoa)...crisisofconUidence?”
OscarWilde,thatmasteroftheepigramandbonmot,wroteattheendofhisshort
andtragiclife,“...(my)joiedevivreisgone,andthat,withwill-power,isthebasis
forart.”For“will-power,”read“conUidence”,butconUidenceishardtocomebywhen
facedwiththedarkcloudsofindifference,orhostility,orpoverty—poverty,when
merelysurvivingbecomesacentral,all-consumingproblemtosomanytoilersinthe
creativearts.GeorgesBizet’sCarmen,thatwarhorseofcontemporaryopera,was
hootedoffthestageafteritsUirstperformance.Bizetdiedthreemonthslater,age37.
Hesaidofoperasomethingthatcanbesaidofalmosteverylineofcreative
endeavor,“Whatasplendidartform.Whatarottenbusiness.”
Workingin“arottenbusiness”--oneconsumedwithabottom-linementality--
workingdaysandweeksonapainting,orayearoryearsonanovel,workinginthe
dark,iscomplicatedbytheverysensitivity(reademotionalfrailty)necessaryto
beingatrulycreativeartist.Againstthoseodds,conUidenceishardtocomeby.
ConUidence--thatessentialandhard-earnedqualitywithoutwhichnothingcanbe
accomplished.Withoutwhichonecanneverhopeto“HoldtheCourse.”
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