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Developing active listening
What you will learn:
• The importance of Active Listening
• How to improve your Active Listening Skills
The importance of Active Listening
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a
major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with
others.
Given all the listening we do, you would think we would be good at it! In fact we are
not. Depending on the study being quoted, we remember a dismal 25-50% of what
we hear.
That means that when you talk to your team, boss, colleagues or customers for ten
minutes, they hear no more than five minutes of the conversation. Turn it around
and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with
information, you may not be hearing the whole message either.
What are the main causes of people not actively listening?
Mentally pre-occupied with other things.
Something annoys you, so you don’t listen.
Knowing the person speaking, and prejudging them.
Lack of respect for the other person and blocking the listening process.
Already assuming you know what is about to be said.
Over analysing the person and not listening to the actual words spoken.
Fear of what is about to be said.
What causes you not to listen?
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Developing active listening
How to improve your active listening skills
The are a number of actions you can take to improve your active
tening and therefore your performance.
Provide feedback.
lis-
Pay attention.
• Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the
message. Recognise that what is not said also speaks loudly.
• Our assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we
hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being
said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask
questions.
• Look at the speaker directly.
• Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing
is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…” are great ways to
reflect back.
• Put aside distracting thoughts. Don’t mentally prepare a your
response instead of listening.
• Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean
when you say…” “Is this what you mean?”
• Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. If something is
so distracting that you cannot mentally tune in then fix the
distraction.
Tip: If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone has said, say
so, and ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly,
and I find myself taking what you said personally”.
• “Listen” to the speaker’s body language and tone. Where is the
emphasis?
Defer judgment.
• Refrain from having side conversations when listening in a group
setting.
Show that you are listening.
• Use your own body language and gestures to convey your
attention.
Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and
limits full understanding of the message.
Defer counter arguments until the speaker has finished.
Respond appropriately.
• Treat the other person as you would want to be treated.
- Nod occasionally.
• Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You
are gaining information and perspective.
- Smile and use other facial expressions.
• Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
- Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
• Assert your opinions respectfully, you add nothing by attacking
the speaker or putting them down.
- Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal
comments like yes, and uh huh.
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Group exercise - Developing active listening
Objective:
For participants to demonstrate and experience a range of listening skills.
Timing:
20 minutes
Resources:
Flip chart and Pens
Format
Ask the group to split into pairs
Ask one person in each pair to leave the room. This group are the ‘listeners’ and the Facilitator takes them
through the Brief for Listeners Part 1 outside the room.
The other delegates (the talkers) remain in the room (with the other Facilitator) and each think of a subject
they’re passionate about and can talk about for 2 minutes.
The pairs get back together in the room and the Facilitator times 2 minutes talking and listening time.
After 2 minutes ask the talkers “what words would you use to describe your experience?” and record
responses on a flip chart. Ensure the feedback is focused on the process and not the content.
Repeat this process for Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3
Brief for Listeners Part 1
The listeners should demonstrates very poor listening skills e.g. staring into space, playing with coins in
pocket, whistling etc. The Facilitator should ask them what they think this should look like to check
understanding.
Brief for Listeners Part 2
The listener should demonstrates sporadic listening skills e.g. interrupting with irrelevant tangents, not
following the attention of the talker. The Facilitator should ask them what they think this should look like.
Brief for Listeners Part 3
The listener should demonstrates active listening skills e.g. focused, asking relevant questions, appearing
interested. The Facilitator should ask them what they think this should look like.
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