FOR ALL
OGCASIONS
A selection of poems,
prose and party pieces
COMPILED
BY
Peter Barkworth
Methuen
Contents
Introduction
Acknowledgements
xvii
xxi
CHRISTMAS
Mummer's Song Anonymous
3
Christmas John Betjeman
4
Advent 1955 John Betjeman
7
From A Child's Bible
Shirley Stem
10
Journey of the Magi
T. S. Eliot
12
The Adoration of the Magi
What the Donkey Saw
The Innkeeper's Wife
Christopher Pilling
U. A. Fanthorpe
Clive Sansom
BC:AD and The Sheepdog
14
16
17
U. A. Fanthorpe
20
From Shirley Valentine Willy Russell
22
Nativity Play Joyce Grenfell
25
My Christmas Survey
28
Origin of Species
Lucy Wainwright, aged 12
Phyllis McGinley
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus
vu
30
Francis P. Church
33
The Boy who Laughed at Santa Claus
Reindeer Report
Ogden Nash
U. A. Fanthorpe
Christmas Eve Joyce Grenfell
35
38
„
39
From A Child's View of Christmas: 1
Helen Exley
Eds. Richard &
From A Child's View of Christmas: 2
Eds. Richard &
41
Helen Exley
45
From Cider With Rosie
Laurie Lee
49
From Memories of Christmas Dylan Thomas
52
From Dear Octopus Dodie Smith
54
Christmas Dinner
56
Michael Rosen
From Sketches by Boz
Charles Dickens
58
Christmas in Sarajevo
Bonnie Laverock, aged 11
60
Christmas Truce
Captain R. J. Armes
The Selfish Giant
Oscar Wilde
62
65
The Twelve Days of Christmas
- A Correspondence John Julius Norwich
70
O n the Twelfth Day of Christmas
I Screamed David Daiches
74
Christmas Thank You's
76
Mick Gowar
NEW YEAR
From In Memoriam AHH
A Prayer
Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Max Ehrmann
Procrastination
81
83
Enid Barraclough
vui
85
Nothing But Stones
Patience Strong
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
U. A. Fanthorpe
The N e w Regime
87
89
Wendy Cope
91
V A L E N T I N E ' S DAY
Valentine
Poem
Wendy Cope
95
Charles II
96
There is Nothing New to Tell You Joyce Grenfell
98
This is to Let You Know
99
Noel Coward
Symptom Recital
Dorothy Parker
101
A Telephone Call
Dorothy Parker
102
From The Sonnets of Michelangelo Elizabeth Jennings
105
Love's Insight
106
Love Poem
Love and Age
A Leaf
Robert Winnett
V. de Sola Pinto
107
Thomas Love Peacock
108
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Two Sonnets
111
William Shakespeare
113
From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran
115
I Do Not Love Thee
116
Answer
The Hon. Mrs Norton
Anon (18th century)
118
The Lay of the Deserted Influenzed
H. Cholmondley
Pennell
If Thou Must Love Me
119
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
Marlowe or William Shakespeare
The Life That I Have Leo Marks
IX
121
Christopher
123
125
EASTER
To Keep A True Lent
Robert Herrick
Christmas is Really for the Children
Joseph's Easter
Steve Turner
W. H. Vanstone
From The Towers ofTrebizond
Indifference
129
131
133
Rose Macaulay
G. A. Studdert Kennedy
Churchyards John Betjeman
134
136
138
A R M I S T I C E DAY
Peace and War
D. H. Lawrence
143
From The Observer Geoff Dyer
144
A Letter Written on November 11, 1920
Dorothea Mary Mayhew
To Any Dead Officer
The Hero
146
Siegfried Sassoon .
Siegfried Sassoon
151
From the Yorkshire Evening Post
Strange Meeting
His Mate
152
Wilfred Owen
153
G. A. Studdert Kennedy
Lie in the Dark and Listen
156
Noel Coward
The Other Little Boats: July 1588
149
Edward Shanks
From The Folkestone, Hythe & District Herald
159
161
162
From a letter written by Evelyn Waugh to his wife Laura
164
The Battle of Blenheim
166
The Soldier
Robert Southey .
Rupert Brooke
Everyone Sang
Siegfried Sassoon
169
170
THEATRE BENEFITS
Love Note to a Playwright
The Boy Actor
Phyllis McGinley
Noel Coward -
175
178
From Star Quality Noel Coward
181
From Lost Fortnight Ray Connolly
184
Irene Vanbrugh Memorial Matinee: The Epilogue
Noel Coward
186
Twenty Tactful Phrases to Help a Voice-Over Artiste
Feel At Home
189
From Sheppey W. Somerset Maugham
191
Emergency Lines
193
Nicholas Craig
Hamlet's Advice to the Players
Instructions to an Actor
William Shakespeare
Edwin Morgan
195
197
When I Read Shakespeare D. H. Lawrence
199
Social Grace
200
Noel Coward
Value for Money
Michael Frayn
202
TV. OD. Andrew Maclean
204
Mrs Worthington, Don't Put Your Daughter On the
Stage
Noel Coward
206
CHURCH CONCERTS
One of Our St Bernard Dogs is Missing
N. F. Simpson
211
Blame the Vicar John Betjeman
216
Electric Light and Heating John Betjeman
219
Cathedral Builders John Ormond
222
XI
From The Towers of Trebizond Rose Macaulay
The Holy Well
Anonymous
Fidele's Grassy Tomb
224
226
Sir Henry Newbolt
228
From The Book of Daniel
231
Sinner and Saint
23 5
G. A. Studdert Kennedy
Paterfamilias
Phyllis McGinley
237
Do I Believe
Noel Coward
239
Miracles
Ithaca
Walt Whitman
241
C. P Cavajy
243
How Long, O Lord . . .?
The Secret
Keith Waterhouse
Ralph Spaulding Cushman
245
248
CHARITY DO'S
An Occasion of This Nature
Michael Frayn
251
A Speech Joyce Grenfell
254
From A Letter of James
256
Blind Children
258
Christopher Fry
For a Tree-Planting
Christopher Fry
259
MUSICAL EVENINGS
Atheist's Hymn
Anonymous
Playing the Harmonium
At a Recital
263
E P. Harton
Paul Tortelier
264
266
From Full Circle Janet Baker
268
From Duet For One
270
Tom Kempinski
xn
LUNCHES AND DINNERS
From A Room of One's Own
Advertisement
Virginia Woolf
Wendy Cope
.
From The Stage Favourites' Cook Book Elizabeth Craig
Christmas Cheating
Recipe for a Salad
Nanette Newman
Sydney Smith '
273
275
276
278
280
From Ecclesiasticus
281
Letter the Second Jane Austen
283
CHRISTENINGS
Infancy
W. H. Davies
289
Baby Song
Thorn Gunn
290
Infant Joy
William Blake
291
The Lamb
William Blake
When I Was Young
Why?
•
Tracy Saunders, aged 11
Nicola Sims, aged 8
My Baby Brother
Inevitable
292
293
294
Shalamar Smith, aged 12
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
What A Grandmother Is
295
296
297
The New School Annabel Gullett, aged 11
298
WEDDINGS
From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran
Sonnet 116
William Shakespeare
xui
303
304
Untitled
Author unknown
The Father of the Bride
And Yet I Don't Know
305
Keith Waterhouse and Willis Hall
Bob Weston and Bert Lee
306
309
F U N E R A L S A N D M E M O R I A L SERVICES
Death Is Nothing At All
Henry Scott Holland
313
From Ecclesiastes
315
From Cymbeline
William Shakespeare
316
From The Tempest William Shakespeare
318
From An Essay
319
William Hazlitt
My Days Among the Dead are Passed
We Are Seven
William Wordsworth
He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven
Untitled
Robert Southey
Author unknown
321
323
W. B. Yeats
326
'
327
From The Prophet Kahlil Gibran
328
When I Have Fears
330
Noel Coward
I'm Here For A Short Visit Only
Noel Coward
331
Epitaph Author unknown
332
Go Cheerful
333
Rosemary Anne Sisson
Indian Prayer Author unknown
335
I Am Not There Author unknown and Do Not Be Afraid
American Indian
A Song of Living
Man's Mortality
.
Amelia Josephine Burr
Anonymous
337
338
340
xiv
How Do I Love Thee?
Heraclitus
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
William Johnson Cory
344
345
If I Should Go Before the Rest of You Joyce Grenfell
346
Song
347
Christina Rossetti
Remember
Christina Rossetti
348
When Earth's Last Picture is Painted
The Ship
Rudyard Kipling
Bishop Charles H. Brent
How Long is a Man's Life?
Brian Patten
349
350
352
THE F O U R SEASONS
Tree
Cheryl Martin, aged 12
357
The First Spring Day
Christina Rossetti
3 59
The Fight of the Year
Roger McGough
360
Home Thoughts From Abroad' Robert Browning
362
The Poem I'd Like To Write
364
A Nursery Rhyme
Springtime
Clive Sansom
Wendy Cope
Tim Shackleton
365
366
From The Weald of Youth Siegfried Sassoon
367
Summer John Betjeman
369
From the Evening Standard
370
Prayer For Michaelmas
372
Viola Garvin
Autumn 1964 John Betjeman
374
Back From Australia John Betjeman
375
Ode to Autumn John Keats
376
xv
November
Tom Hood
378
Snowflakes
Clive Sansom
380
London Snow
Robert Bridges .
Snow in Suburbia
382
David Lodge
384
When the River Thames Froze
December Stillness
386
Siegfried Sassoon
388
SHOW-OFF POEMS
How the Water Comes Down at Lodore
Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat
The King's Breakfast
Look Closer
T. S. Eliot
A. A. Milne
Phyllis McCormack
Consumer Complaint
C. Marjorie Smith
Time Joyce Grenfell
Mrs Malone
Robert Southey
v
Eleanor Farjeon
391
394
397
401
403
405
407
From Miss Thompson Goes Shopping Martin Armstrong
412
The Glory of the Garden
414
At Lord's
Rudyard Kipling
Francis Thompson
416
Little Aggie Author unknown
Billy's Rose
Tarantella
418
George R. Sims
421
Hilaire Belloc
The Highwayman
425
Alfred Noyes
xvi
427