Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ Unit 3 Narrative Writing: Describing a Disaster WRITING ASSIGNMENT In this assignment, you will be writing a narrative essay about your experiences during or observations of a disaster. PREWRITING FINDING YOUR VOICE. You can pull in and keep your readers’ attention by using a natural, personal voice to share your experience and perspective. By using the first-person point of view, you can show your involvement in and reaction to the disaster. To practice using your natural, personal voice, imagine that you have just experienced each disaster below. Write three or four sentences that express your personal response to each disaster. Use the first-person point of view. 1. Your house is flooded with a foot of water. The carpeting and much of the furniture is ruined. Your library books and your photo album that you left on your bedroom floor are also ruined. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. Your neighborhood has been burglarized lately. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 39 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ 3. You broke your ankle playing soccer the night before the tournament. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ WRITING WITH A PLAN. Brainstorm a list of possible topics for your essay. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ After you decide on a topic, fill out the graphic organizer, then begin to write. 40 UNIT 2 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ GRAPHIC ORGANIZER © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 41 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ STUDENT MODEL—GRAPHIC ORGANIZER Spent day at Grandmas Got sick Parents took me to hospital Surgery felt better but frustrated I.V. came out Back home More infection All better Had to share a room with strangers 42 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ DRAFT Remember the following points as you write your draft. • Concentrate on getting your ideas down in chronological order. • Use lively details to engage your readers. Include an occasional simile to add interest. • Include some dialogue from the situation to further engage your readers. Share your perspective or insight about what happened. This perspective will form the controlling idea, or main point, of your story. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 43 STUDENT MODEL—DRAFT How old were you? This whole disaster started on a Friday in 1995 when I woke up and didn’t feel well. My dad brought me to my grandmas house for the day. took , lay I laid down on her couch and watched movies. At lunch I tried to get All morning off the couch but there was this terrible pain in my side and I could a hardly use my stomach muscles at all with out feeling this searing pain a in my side. I sat down at the table for lunch and couldn’t even get close enough to my soup to eat any of it. When I was back home my parent’s decided that they should take me to a doctor to see if there was anything wrong. When I got to the really? emergency room the doctors ran a lot of tests on me. after an hour or so the doctor came in and said that there was either something wrong with my appendix or I had a bladder infection. It turned out it was a Out of order here very bad case of a rotting appendix ( we found out after surgery). next the doctor put an i.v. in my left hand, and that so far was the Even worse than most painful thing. your searing pain? I went into surgery late at night. All I can remember about the Use surgery is that the doctor’s put this mask over my mouth and told me it a dialogue here was fresh air. Next they told me to count to ten I know I said something like 1-2-5-3-6-4-7-9-8 if I even got that far. It seemed like seconds and I woke up. The nurses or someone was wheeling me into a hospital room, but I remember the electronic bed didn’t work so they put me into a different room. I also got a teddy bear (from the hospital) and that made me feel a lot better. I think the next day I nd from was up and slowly but surely I was able to walk more easily. Expa re he 44 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC UNIT 3 LANGUAGE, GRAMMAR, AND STYLE: FORMING PLURALS AND POSSESSIVES Plurals Most nouns form their plurals by simply adding –s to the end of the word. SINGULAR PLURAL telephone computer modem telephones computers modems The plurals of nouns that end in o, s, x, z, ch, or sh should be formed by adding –es. SINGULAR PLURAL potato bus fox topaz church rash potatoes buses foxes topazes churches rashes There are some exceptions to the above rule regarding words ending in o. SINGULAR PLURAL piano solo radio pianos solos radios Many words that end in f or fe require changing the f or fe to a v and adding –es. Not all follow that rule, either. Consult a dictionary if you’re not sure. SINGULAR PLURAL shelf thief loaf belief sheriff shelves thieves loaves beliefs sheriffs Form the plurals of nouns that end in a y following a vowel by adding –s. © EMC SINGULAR PLURAL boy valley Monday boys valleys Mondays GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 45 Form the plurals of nouns that end in y following a consonant by changing the y to an i and adding –es. SINGULAR PLURAL city necessity story cities necessities stories NOTE: For proper nouns ending in y, just ad –s. For other proper nouns, you will add –s or –es. SINGULAR PLURAL Brady Bataky Coleman Hansen Yanez Birch Bradys Batakys Colemans Hansens Yanezes Birches For compound nouns containing modifiers, form the plural of the word being modified. SINGULAR PLURAL sister-in-law sisters-in-law apple tree apple trees guest of honor guests of honor For some nouns, the singular and plural forms are the same. SINGULAR PLURAL deer sheep salmon moose deer sheep salmon moose The plurals of some nouns are formed in irregular ways. Consult a dictionary for any words you are unsure of. 46 SINGULAR PLURAL ox goose tooth foot mouse child oxen geese teeth feet mice children UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Possessives An apostrophe is used to form the possessive of nouns. To form the possessive of a singular noun, add an apostrophe and an s to the end of the word. NOUN POSSESSIVE planet girl planet’s girl’s The possessive of a plural noun is formed two different ways. If the plural noun does not end in s, add an apostrophe and an s to the end of the word. NOUN POSSESSIVE children cattle children’s cattle’s If the plural noun ends with an s, add only an apostrophe. © EMC NOUN POSSESSIVE dollars players dollars’ players’ GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 47 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ EXERCISES A. Identifying Plural Nouns Circle the correct plural form in each pair below. 1. womans women 2. concertos concertoes 3. brushs brushes 4. spys spies 5. knifes knives 6. trout trouts 7. coupon books coupons book 8. cheese cheeses 9. chiefs chieves 10. fathers-in-law father-in-laws B. Identifying Possessive Nouns Circle the correct singular possessive of the nouns below. 11. Jacob’s homework Jacobs’ homework 12. the store’s window the stores’ window 13. the thieve’s loot the thief’s loot 14. my sister’s room my sisters’ room 15. someones sweater someone’s sweater Circle the correct plural possessive of the nouns below. 48 16. a children’s concert a childrens’ concert 17. the churches’ council the church’s council 18. my grandparent’s house my grandparents’ house 19. the men’s department the mens’ department 20. the books due dates the books’ due dates UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ C. Fixing Plural and Possessive Nouns Look at these passages from an early student model draft. Fix any errors that you find in the plural and possessive forms of nouns. My dad brought me to my Grandmas house for the day. Back home my parents’ decided that they should take me to the hospital. All I can remember about the surgery is that the doctor’s put a mask over my mouth and told me it was fresh air. The childrens’ hospital was not that scary. The nurse’s were very nice and gave me a teddy bear. But I’m glad I don’t have more appendix’s to take out! D. Using Plural and Possessive Nouns Effectively Write a short essay, or use your draft from the assignment. Check to see that you have written plural nouns and possessives correctly. Fix any errors you find. ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 49 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ SELF-EVALUATION—DESCRIBING BY A DISASTER ______________________________________________________ • What disaster does the story relate? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • What insight or perspective does the author have about the disaster? What could be added to clarify the perspective? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • How well does each paragraph contribute to the controlling idea? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Does the story follow chronological order? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Which details help hold the reader’s attention? Which details could be added to make the story more interesting to the reader? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • How could dialogue enhance the story? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ 50 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ • What simile could be added to the story? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Do any corrections need to be made to show the correct form of plurals and possessives? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 51 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ PEER EVALUATION—DESCRIBING BY A DISASTER ________________________________ • FOR _______________________________ What disaster does the story relate? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • What insight or perspective does the author have about the disaster? What could be added to clarify the perspective? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • How well does each paragraph contribute to the controlling idea? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Does the story follow chronological order? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Which details help hold the reader’s attention? Which details could be added to make the story more interesting to the reader? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • How could dialogue enhance the story? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ 52 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ • What simile could be added to the story? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ • Do any corrections need to be made to show the correct form of plurals and possessives? ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 53 STUDENT MODEL—REVISED Level 4 Model (Textbook Model) One Appendix is Enough by Tyrone Newell One Friday when I was only seven years old, I woke up and didn’t feel well. My dad took me to my grandma’s house instead of school for the day. All morning I lay on her couch and watched movies. At lunch I tried to get off the couch but I could hardly use my stomach muscles at all without feeling a searing pain in my side. I sat down at the table for lunch and couldn’t even get close enough to my soup to eat any of it. When I was back home my parents decided that they should take me to a doctor to see if there was anything seriously wrong. When I got to the emergency room the doctors ran a lot of tests on me. After an hour or so the doctor came in and said that there was either something wrong with my appendix or I had a bladder infection. Next the doctor put an I.V. in my left hand, and that so far was an even more painful thing. I guess it hurt more because it involved a needle, and because I knew, in advance, it would hurt. I went into surgery late at night. All I can remember about the surgery is that the doctors put a mask over my mouth and told me, “This is just fresh air, Lisa. Now I want you to count to ten for me. Can you do that?” I said something like “1-2-5-3-6-4-7-9-8,” if I even got that far! It seemed like just seconds and I woke up. The nurse was wheeling me into a hospital room, but I remember the electronic bed didn’t work, so they put me into a different room. I also got a teddy bear from the hospital and that made me feel a lot better. The doctor said my appendix was rotting inside of me, so they took it out. I think the next day I was up and slowly but surely I was able to walk more easily. I remember several unpleasant things happened while I was in the hospital. Once my I.V. came out and a nurse had to put it into my other arm. Another time, my parents had gone to get lunch and I was in my bed watching television. I stayed in the same position for a long time. Later, when I attempted to move, it was as though my muscles had just gone on strike! I got very frustrated because I wanted to move and I felt unable to do it. The most uncomfortable experience was the last night when I had to be moved into another room. The people I was in a room with weren’t loud or anything, but I couldn’t sleep very well that night. I felt nervous among strangers and maybe a little bit homesick. But I got over that and the next day I went home. I had to sleep in our living room for a while because I couldn’t walk upstairs to my bedroom yet without my side hurting a lot. One disappointing part was that a few days after I got home the infection that caused this whole ordeal started to drain out. Luckily, that didn’t last long, and within months I was allowed to run again. I’m just glad I only have one appendix! Level 3 Model The Big Disaster by Angelica Pereda I will never forget when I had a cyst growing inside of me. This disaster was bad. It is about my cyst almost bursting. BANG!! I woke up at the end of a stupid dream. Then I realized that I had woke up because my right side was killing me. At first I thought, oh it is just something I ate, so I told my mom I was getting some Tums. It relieved some of the pain. Then I fell asleep for about an hour until 11:00 p.m. when, once again, I woke up. My side was still hurting, or maybe it had just started again. My 54 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC mother called a hotline and they gave me some tests to do. One was for me to jump on my right foot and see if my side hurt. It did. They said I needed to go to the hospital. When I got there they took some tests, one of them involving blood. Yikes! They said if it were my appendix it would be over in a 12 hour period. They sent me home and I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. My side was still hurting a lot. Then my mother called the doctor’s office and they said to bring me in. We weren’t there very long before the doctor said to take me back to the hospital again. I was scared, hurt, and a little frustrated that we were traveling all over, not knowing if I was going to be all right. At last they said I would have to have surgery. I remember having to count down from 100 and I only got to 97. I woke up at 12:00 A.M. and tried to sit up and I couldn’t. I said “Mom, I can’t sit up!” “You aren’t supposed to,” she answered right back with a big grin. Then I knew I was all right. Level 2 Model The Big Tornado by William Sato When I first learned about tornados I didn’t think much about them. They always seemed to be in some other place or from a long time ago. But I will never say that again! One day as I was playing outside I noticed how hot, cloudy, and still it was outside. I remembered all these were supposed to be signs of a tornado. Then, just ten minutes later, the tornado sirens’ blared. I ran home as fast as I could. My mom was just about to come look for me. Then I ran up stairs to get my birthday card with the money in it to take into the basement. My sister, dog, mom, and dad were waiting for me. Then the sirens blared again. Then we heard a loud noise like a train. My dad looked outside and he said, “Everybody in the storage room. Its a tornado!” My dog was whining. My mom covered me and the dog, and my dad covered my sister. After the noise stopped we got up to look outside the door. Luckily we had our whole house still standing! We looked outside and it was a mess. But the tornado spared most of the houses in our neighborhood. But now when I hear the sirens, I tense up. © EMC GUIDED WRITING UNIT 3 55 Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________ Rubric for Narrative Writing: Describing a Disaster Assessment Scoring Guide: 4 3 2 1 0 — — — — — Strong Competent Developing Emerging Not Yet Writing Characteristic Category Self Score Peer Score Teacher Score The essay relates a story about a disaster. Focus and Construction of Knowledge The essay revolves around a controlling idea that expresses the writer’s perspective. The paper demonstrates the writer’s awareness of audience. The writer describes events in chronological order. Organization and Elaboration Each paragraph in the essay contributes to the controlling idea. The essay uses dialogue to enhance the story. The writer includes lively details about the events. Voice and Word Choice The essay includes a simile to create a powerful, interesting comparison. The writer’s voice reflects original thoughts and ideas. Plural nouns are formed correctly in the paper. Construction of Language Possessive nouns are formed correctly in the paper. The writer demonstrates a good grasp of standard writing conventions. 56 UNIT 3 GUIDED WRITING © EMC
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