Unit 3 Narrative Writing: Describing a Disaster

Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
Unit 3
Narrative Writing: Describing a
Disaster
WRITING ASSIGNMENT
In this assignment, you will be writing a narrative essay about your experiences during or observations of a
disaster.
PREWRITING
FINDING YOUR VOICE. You can pull in and keep your readers’ attention by using a natural, personal voice to
share your experience and perspective. By using the first-person point of view, you can show your involvement in and reaction to the disaster. To practice using your natural, personal voice, imagine that you have
just experienced each disaster below. Write three or four sentences that express your personal response to
each disaster. Use the first-person point of view.
1. Your house is flooded with a foot of water. The carpeting and much of the furniture is ruined. Your
library books and your photo album that you left on your bedroom floor are also ruined.
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2. Your neighborhood has been burglarized lately.
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
3. You broke your ankle playing soccer the night before the tournament.
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WRITING WITH A PLAN. Brainstorm a list of possible topics for your essay.
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After you decide on a topic, fill out the graphic organizer, then begin to write.
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
GRAPHIC ORGANIZER
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
STUDENT MODEL—GRAPHIC ORGANIZER
Spent
day at
Grandmas
Got sick
Parents
took me to
hospital
Surgery
felt better but
frustrated
I.V. came out
Back home
More infection
All better
Had to share a
room with
strangers
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
DRAFT
Remember the following points as you write your draft.
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Concentrate on getting your ideas down in chronological order.
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Use lively details to engage your readers. Include an occasional simile to add interest.
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Include some dialogue from the situation to further engage your readers.
Share your perspective or insight about what happened. This perspective will form the controlling idea, or
main point, of your story.
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STUDENT MODEL—DRAFT
How old were you?
This whole disaster started on a Friday in 1995 when
I woke up and
didn’t feel well. My dad brought me to my grandmas house for the day.
took
,
lay
I laid down on her couch and watched movies. At lunch I tried to get
All morning
off the couch but there was this terrible pain in my side and I could
a
hardly use my stomach muscles at all with out feeling this searing pain
a
in my side. I sat down at the table for lunch and couldn’t even get
close enough to my soup to eat any of it.
When I was back home my parent’s decided that they should take me
to a doctor to see if there was anything wrong. When I got to the
really?
emergency room the doctors ran a lot of tests on me. after an hour or
so the doctor came in and said that there was either something wrong
with my appendix or I had a bladder infection. It turned out it was a
Out of
order here
very bad case of a rotting appendix ( we found out after surgery).
next the doctor put an i.v. in my left hand, and that so far was the
Even worse than
most painful thing. your searing pain?
I went into surgery late at night. All I can remember about the
Use surgery is that the doctor’s put this mask over my mouth and told me it
a
dialogue
here was fresh air. Next they told me to count to ten I know I said
something like 1-2-5-3-6-4-7-9-8 if I even got that far. It seemed like
seconds and I woke up. The nurses or someone was wheeling me into a
hospital room, but I remember the electronic bed didn’t work so they
put me into a different room. I also got a teddy bear (from the
hospital) and that made me feel a lot better. I think the next day I
nd from
was up and slowly but surely I was able to walk more easily. Expa
re
he
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UNIT 3 LANGUAGE, GRAMMAR,
AND
STYLE: FORMING PLURALS
AND
POSSESSIVES
Plurals
Most nouns form their plurals by simply adding –s to the end of the word.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
telephone
computer
modem
telephones
computers
modems
The plurals of nouns that end in o, s, x, z, ch, or sh should be formed by adding –es.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
potato
bus
fox
topaz
church
rash
potatoes
buses
foxes
topazes
churches
rashes
There are some exceptions to the above rule regarding words ending in o.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
piano
solo
radio
pianos
solos
radios
Many words that end in f or fe require changing the f or fe to a v and adding –es. Not all follow that rule,
either. Consult a dictionary if you’re not sure.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
shelf
thief
loaf
belief
sheriff
shelves
thieves
loaves
beliefs
sheriffs
Form the plurals of nouns that end in a y following a vowel by adding –s.
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SINGULAR
PLURAL
boy
valley
Monday
boys
valleys
Mondays
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Form the plurals of nouns that end in y following a consonant by changing the y to an i and adding –es.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
city
necessity
story
cities
necessities
stories
NOTE: For proper nouns ending in y, just ad –s. For other proper nouns, you will add –s or –es.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
Brady
Bataky
Coleman
Hansen
Yanez
Birch
Bradys
Batakys
Colemans
Hansens
Yanezes
Birches
For compound nouns containing modifiers, form the plural of the word being modified.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
sister-in-law
sisters-in-law
apple tree
apple trees
guest of honor guests of honor
For some nouns, the singular and plural forms are the same.
SINGULAR
PLURAL
deer
sheep
salmon
moose
deer
sheep
salmon
moose
The plurals of some nouns are formed in irregular ways. Consult a dictionary for any words you are unsure
of.
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SINGULAR
PLURAL
ox
goose
tooth
foot
mouse
child
oxen
geese
teeth
feet
mice
children
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Possessives
An apostrophe is used to form the possessive of nouns. To form the possessive of a singular noun, add an
apostrophe and an s to the end of the word.
NOUN
POSSESSIVE
planet
girl
planet’s
girl’s
The possessive of a plural noun is formed two different ways. If the plural noun does not end in s, add an
apostrophe and an s to the end of the word.
NOUN
POSSESSIVE
children
cattle
children’s
cattle’s
If the plural noun ends with an s, add only an apostrophe.
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NOUN
POSSESSIVE
dollars
players
dollars’
players’
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
EXERCISES
A. Identifying Plural Nouns
Circle the correct plural form in each pair below.
1. womans
women
2. concertos
concertoes
3. brushs
brushes
4. spys
spies
5. knifes
knives
6. trout
trouts
7. coupon books
coupons book
8. cheese
cheeses
9. chiefs
chieves
10. fathers-in-law
father-in-laws
B. Identifying Possessive Nouns
Circle the correct singular possessive of the nouns below.
11. Jacob’s homework
Jacobs’ homework
12. the store’s window
the stores’ window
13. the thieve’s loot
the thief’s loot
14. my sister’s room
my sisters’ room
15. someones sweater
someone’s sweater
Circle the correct plural possessive of the nouns below.
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16. a children’s concert
a childrens’ concert
17. the churches’ council
the church’s council
18. my grandparent’s house
my grandparents’ house
19. the men’s department
the mens’ department
20. the books due dates
the books’ due dates
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
C. Fixing Plural and Possessive Nouns
Look at these passages from an early student model draft. Fix any errors that you find in the plural and
possessive forms of nouns.
My dad brought me to my Grandmas house for the day. Back home my parents’ decided that they
should take me to the hospital. All I can remember about the surgery is that the doctor’s put a mask
over my mouth and told me it was fresh air.
The childrens’ hospital was not that scary. The nurse’s were very nice and gave me a teddy bear.
But I’m glad I don’t have more appendix’s to take out!
D. Using Plural and Possessive Nouns Effectively
Write a short essay, or use your draft from the assignment. Check to see that you have written plural
nouns and possessives correctly. Fix any errors you find.
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
SELF-EVALUATION—DESCRIBING
BY
A
DISASTER
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What disaster does the story relate?
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What insight or perspective does the author have about the disaster? What could be added to clarify
the perspective?
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How well does each paragraph contribute to the controlling idea?
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Does the story follow chronological order?
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Which details help hold the reader’s attention? Which details could be added to make the story
more interesting to the reader?
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How could dialogue enhance the story?
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What simile could be added to the story?
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Do any corrections need to be made to show the correct form of plurals and possessives?
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
PEER EVALUATION—DESCRIBING
BY
A
DISASTER
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•
FOR
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What disaster does the story relate?
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What insight or perspective does the author have about the disaster? What could be added to clarify
the perspective?
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How well does each paragraph contribute to the controlling idea?
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Does the story follow chronological order?
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Which details help hold the reader’s attention? Which details could be added to make the story
more interesting to the reader?
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How could dialogue enhance the story?
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
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What simile could be added to the story?
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Do any corrections need to be made to show the correct form of plurals and possessives?
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STUDENT MODEL—REVISED
Level 4 Model (Textbook Model)
One Appendix is Enough
by Tyrone Newell
One Friday when I was only seven years old, I woke up and didn’t feel well. My dad took me to
my grandma’s house instead of school for the day. All morning I lay on her couch and watched movies.
At lunch I tried to get off the couch but I could hardly use my stomach muscles at all without feeling a
searing pain in my side. I sat down at the table for lunch and couldn’t even get close enough to my
soup to eat any of it.
When I was back home my parents decided that they should take me to a doctor to see if there
was anything seriously wrong. When I got to the emergency room the doctors ran a lot of tests on me.
After an hour or so the doctor came in and said that there was either something wrong with my appendix or I had a bladder infection. Next the doctor put an I.V. in my left hand, and that so far was an even
more painful thing. I guess it hurt more because it involved a needle, and because I knew, in advance, it
would hurt.
I went into surgery late at night. All I can remember about the surgery is that the doctors put a
mask over my mouth and told me, “This is just fresh air, Lisa. Now I want you to count to ten for me.
Can you do that?” I said something like “1-2-5-3-6-4-7-9-8,” if I even got that far! It seemed like just
seconds and I woke up. The nurse was wheeling me into a hospital room, but I remember the electronic
bed didn’t work, so they put me into a different room. I also got a teddy bear from the hospital and that
made me feel a lot better. The doctor said my appendix was rotting inside of me, so they took it out.
I think the next day I was up and slowly but surely I was able to walk more easily. I remember several unpleasant things happened while I was in the hospital. Once my I.V. came out and a nurse had to
put it into my other arm. Another time, my parents had gone to get lunch and I was in my bed watching television. I stayed in the same position for a long time. Later, when I attempted to move, it was as
though my muscles had just gone on strike! I got very frustrated because I wanted to move and I felt
unable to do it. The most uncomfortable experience was the last night when I had to be moved into
another room. The people I was in a room with weren’t loud or anything, but I couldn’t sleep very well
that night. I felt nervous among strangers and maybe a little bit homesick. But I got over that and the
next day I went home.
I had to sleep in our living room for a while because I couldn’t walk upstairs to my bedroom yet
without my side hurting a lot. One disappointing part was that a few days after I got home the infection that caused this whole ordeal started to drain out. Luckily, that didn’t last long, and within months I
was allowed to run again. I’m just glad I only have one appendix!
Level 3 Model
The Big Disaster
by Angelica Pereda
I will never forget when I had a cyst growing inside of me. This disaster was bad. It is about my
cyst almost bursting. BANG!! I woke up at the end of a stupid dream. Then I realized that I had woke up
because my right side was killing me. At first I thought, oh it is just something I ate, so I told my mom I
was getting some Tums. It relieved some of the pain. Then I fell asleep for about an hour until 11:00
p.m. when, once again, I woke up. My side was still hurting, or maybe it had just started again. My
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mother called a hotline and they gave me some tests to do. One was for me to jump on my right foot
and see if my side hurt. It did.
They said I needed to go to the hospital. When I got there they took some tests, one of them involving blood. Yikes! They said if it were my appendix it would be over in a 12 hour period. They sent me
home and I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. My side was still hurting a lot. Then my mother called
the doctor’s office and they said to bring me in. We weren’t there very long before the doctor said to
take me back to the hospital again. I was scared, hurt, and a little frustrated that we were traveling all
over, not knowing if I was going to be all right.
At last they said I would have to have surgery. I remember having to count down from 100 and I
only got to 97. I woke up at 12:00 A.M. and tried to sit up and I couldn’t. I said “Mom, I can’t sit up!”
“You aren’t supposed to,” she answered right back with a big grin.
Then I knew I was all right.
Level 2 Model
The Big Tornado
by William Sato
When I first learned about tornados I didn’t think much about them. They always seemed to be in
some other place or from a long time ago. But I will never say that again! One day as I was playing outside I noticed how hot, cloudy, and still it was outside. I remembered all these were supposed to be signs
of a tornado. Then, just ten minutes later, the tornado sirens’ blared. I ran home as fast as I could. My
mom was just about to come look for me. Then I ran up stairs to get my birthday card with the money
in it to take into the basement. My sister, dog, mom, and dad were waiting for me. Then the sirens
blared again. Then we heard a loud noise like a train. My dad looked outside and he said, “Everybody in
the storage room. Its a tornado!”
My dog was whining. My mom covered me and the dog, and my dad covered my sister. After the
noise stopped we got up to look outside the door. Luckily we had our whole house still standing! We
looked outside and it was a mess. But the tornado spared most of the houses in our neighborhood. But
now when I hear the sirens, I tense up.
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Name________________________________________ Class_____________________ Date ____________________
Rubric for Narrative Writing: Describing a Disaster
Assessment
Scoring Guide:
4
3
2
1
0
—
—
—
—
—
Strong
Competent
Developing
Emerging
Not Yet
Writing Characteristic
Category
Self
Score
Peer
Score
Teacher
Score
The essay relates a story about a disaster.
Focus and
Construction
of Knowledge
The essay revolves around a controlling idea that
expresses the writer’s perspective.
The paper demonstrates the writer’s awareness of
audience.
The writer describes events in chronological order.
Organization
and
Elaboration
Each paragraph in the essay contributes to the controlling
idea.
The essay uses dialogue to enhance the story.
The writer includes lively details about the events.
Voice and
Word Choice
The essay includes a simile to create a powerful,
interesting comparison.
The writer’s voice reflects original thoughts and ideas.
Plural nouns are formed correctly in the paper.
Construction
of
Language
Possessive nouns are formed correctly in the paper.
The writer demonstrates a good grasp of standard writing
conventions.
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