“TABLE MANNERS”
By Rev. Victor Kim
Luke 14:1, 7-14
(09-02-07)
Its long been suggested that how a person eats says a lot about
what they are like. Who we eat with, how we eat and the
customs associated with our eating are studied by anthropologists
to gain knowledge about people and our societal practices.
In different parts of the world there are many varied customs
associated with eating.
For example, in Afghanistan the host will ask a guest at least three
times if he or she would like more food, and the guest should
refuse at least three times before accepting.
One minister tells the story of a recent Afghan refugee who, when
offered food, would always refuse, even though he was very
hungry.
His western hosts thought that he was truly not hungry and felt
that it would be impolite to continue asking him to eat, never
understanding that this man was brought up in a culture where he
was taught to refuse an offer of food at least three times.
Fortunately, this misunderstanding was cleared up before anyone
starved to death.
2
Depending on the culture, it is either considered impolite to finish
all the food on a plate, or it is considered wasteful if you don’t.
In the Orient one should never place chopsticks into food so that
they stand straight up since this is only done as part of a ritual in
honoring deceased relatives.
You should also refrain from using your chopsticks for anything
other than eating, for instance beating them on the table like
drumsticks and you should never use chopsticks to poke through
the food as if you were using a fork.
Speaking of forks, real Italians never use a spoon along with their
forks to eat pasta.
In Korea one must not start eating before the oldest person at the
table begins to eat and one should never pour his or her own
drink, you must wait for someone else to pour a drink for you.
We have all heard that its impolite to make sounds when chewing
our food, however, in Japan, one should make a loud slurping
noise when eating noodles or soup. In fact it is suggested that the
taking in of cold air with the hot noodles actually accentuates the
flavour of the noodles.
In India, you never use to left hand to eat, even if you are left
handed.
3
Even when you break a piece of bread, you use only your right
hand to do so.
There do seem to be some universally accepted table manners no
matter what the culture, such as not playing with or throwing
your food, not talking with your mouth full, practicing good
hygiene and acknowledging the host for their hospitality.
That last point is one people might have pointed out to Jesus,
considering what our text this morning tells us.
It seems that Jesus was invited one Sabbath to eat in the house of
a prominent Pharisee. But our text also pointedly notes that he
was being carefully watched.
Clearly Jesus was not invited because the Pharisee cherished his
company, and this was no ordinary meal.
Part of the text which was not read this morning and is not part of
the lectionary reading, tells of a man who was also at the meal
but who was suffering from an abnormal swelling of the body.
Such a man would hardly be invited to a meal at the home of a
Pharisee, who would have believed that those who were sick
were unclean and were suffering a just punishment for their sins.
Obviously this man is out of place and has been brought before
Jesus as a test.
4
Even though it is the Sabbath, Jesus heals the sick man, hallenging
those around him to claim that they would have done anything
differently. Having dealt with the test which was presented to
him, Jesus now offers some observations of his own regarding his
host and the other guests.
In Jewish tradition, often at a large meal, the table would be in
the shape of a ‘U.’
The host and the guests of honour would be seated at the center
of the table, reclining on cushions rather than chairs, and the
other guests would take their seats around the table accordingly.
Where one was seated spoke volumes about the relative
importance of a person and his or her place in society.
Jesus observes how the guests jostle for position and then speaks
what can only be called admonishing words to those gathered.
When you get invited to dinner, be careful about where you
choose to sit.
Don’t think too highly of yourself by choosing the a place of
honour for someone more distinguished than you might come
along and you will be humiliated, having to be moved to a less
important place.
5
Rather, when you are invited, take the lowest place so that you
can be moved up and honoured in the presence of all the guests.
For all who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who
humble themselves will be exalted.
Or as Eugene Peterson puts it, If you walk around with your nose
in the air, you’re going to wind up flat on your face.
You can imagine the discomfort around the table
as Jesus’ words fall like bowling balls in a china shop.
People begin to look around at each other, sizing each other up.
Have I misjudged, will I be expected to move?
No doubt there were people who were convinced that they had
not miscalculated and were in their proper place.
Its quite likely that most of the guests would have been annoyed
and angry with Jesus’ audacity, “Who does he think he is, telling
us what to do?” But Jesus isn’t finished yet.
Looking now at his host, Jesus says, Listen, take a look around, I
see what you’re up to.
Look at who you’ve invited to this meal, the who’s who of society,
all the important people, your friends, your family, your social
peers, your rich neighbours.
6
But next time, don’t invite only those who can repay you, but
invite the poor and the crippled, the lame and the blind.
For if you do, you will be blessed.
The poor and the crippled, the lame and the blind, will never be
able to repay you but God will at the resurrection of the righteous.
Well, you can be sure that Jesus was not invited back to this
particular Pharisee’s home.
In fact, in the rest of Luke’s gospel account Jesus was never again
invited to be a guest of a Pharisee or any other religious figure.
The next time we hear of Jesus taking part in a meal, its with
sinners and the Pharisees and religious leaders are not impressed.
I think that most of us know already what Jesus was trying to get
at in our text today. Don’t be too proud, rather, be humble.
Don’t think of yourself more highly than you ought, think more
highly of others.
And be compassionate, care for the poor and hungry, the hurting
and those who are forgotten by others.
I’m sure this isn't news to you, you’ve heard many preachers say
this before.
We know what Jesus is getting at, but we still struggle, don’t we,
with how we will respond to Jesus’ invitation.
7
Have you ever gotten an invitation to a party or gathering which
you knew you wouldn’t enjoy because of the people who would
be there?
From time to time I receive invitations to my High School reunions,
20 years, 25 years, and most recently my 30 year reunion.
Now, while I enjoyed my time in high school, I had lots of friends,
wasn’t picked on and had more than my share of fun, there is
absolutely no part of me that wants anything to do with these
reunions.
I’m not very nostalgic and I have no desire to find out what the
old gang is up to and besides those I’m interested in, I already
know.
Probably part of me doesn’t want to deal with trying to explain
how I ended up as a minister.
You, a minister? Well I never would have thought!
I’d rather just stay away from the whole thing.
For some of those at the Pharisee’s house, the invitation of Jesus
must have struck them the same way.
You want me to throw a party for those who are poor and
crippled, lame and blind? Thanks, but I’d rather not, and please
don’t invite me to any such party.
8
I’ll wait for when my kind of people gather.
The only problem is that the Pharisees who thought this way
didn’t understand that Jesus wasn’t really offering a choice.
When Jesus spoke of a party filled with the poor and crippled,
lame and blind, he was telling anyone who would listen that this is
what the kingdom of God is like.
He was saying, this is really the only party in town.
If you want to be part of the heavenly banquet, there’s no picking
and choosing which party you’ll attend.
God is the host and God is inviting those God chooses.
The good news is that we’re invited, but will we want to go?
If this is what the banquet table in the kingdom of God looks like,
maybe we need to think about what our tables look like.
Who’s sitting around our tables?
Who have we invited to our banquets?
Does our guest list reflect something of Jesus’ invitation to be
compassionate, generous and gracious, or have we surrounded
ourselves with only those who we think are good for us, good for
our social standing, good for our business relationships, only
those who can invite us back in return?
9
Take a look around you.
What does our church look like?
If the church is to be God’s community, reflective, albeit
imperfectly, of what God’s desire for humankind is, how are we
reflecting the kind of compassion and welcome Jesus speaks of?
Do we come to church because we know that it will be full of
people just like us, who dress like us, who look like us, who think
like us, who live like us, whose backgrounds are similar to ours,
who social standing is relatively equal to ours, whose educational
background matches ours, or is there a more compelling reason
why we gather in worship together?
Jesus speaks of a feast where all manner of people are welcome
and later in Luke Jesus says that this is what the kingdom of God is
like.
The church is a community which is united because all of us are
God’s invited guests.
There’s no other party in town.
We can’t choose to wait for something more to our liking, more
with our kind of people.
You see, if we want to invite Jesus to sit our tables, we have to
realize that he comes with a crowd.
10
He’s not some sort of trophy guest that we get to show off to
others, look, Jesus is coming to my party next week, you need to
be there.
No, he comes with an entourage, he comes with the poor, the
crippled, the lame and the blind.
He comes with the social misfits, the embarrassingly out of
fashion, the marginalized and the ignored, lots of people we
wouldn’t ever think of welcoming to our tables.
But if we want Jesus, we’d better get used to wanting those who
come with him as well.
Because the truth is that all of us, all of us who are so varied, we
are all God’s kind of people.
That’s what unites us, that’s what the church is.
Earlier on I said that the hard part isnt understanding what Jesus
is saying,
but figuring out how we’re goint to respond to it.
You know, you can listen to a sermon and think, well, he’s got a
good point there and it seems to be backed up in what the Bible
says, but its got to move beyond our heads, its got to move from
our heads to our hearts, from our hearts to our hands and feet.
11
Somehow this idea of who sits around our tables, figuratively and
literally, needs to move from theory to practice.
So how will we do this?
A couple of weeks ago I spoke about the fact that people are
watching us, somebody is always watching us, watching how we
live out our faith and we will impact someone’s life, whether we
know it or not, whether for good or for bad.
Next week students return to school.
And I’m not sure that there’s any place where inclusion and
exclusion are practiced with more cold blooded calculation than in
our schools.
Where will our children get their ideas about who is acceptable to
mingle with and who is not, who can sit at their tables and who
can’t?
Where will they learn about welcome and hospitality and true
concern for others if not from us, their parents, their
grandparents, their families?
In a world where technology has served to heighten the capacity
to marginalize, hurt and exclude, how necessary and urgent is it
for us to model for our children and young people choices about
who belongs, who is welcome, who is important to us?
12
If our kids don’t see evidence of a broad inclusion and welcome in
our lives, and in the life of our church, why would we expect them
to practice something that they don’t see lived out in us?
We like to hear stories of how Jesus is at work in our world today,
how Jesus heals and restores lives and hope.
We like to listen to the teachings of Jesus, an uncommon wisdom
that helps us to look at our lives and place them in a different
context.
But are we willing to take our relationship with Jesus further?
Are we willing, not only to hear Jesus, but to do what he
commands?
Who sits around your table and who sits around ours here?
Who’s not invited and what would happen if they were?
Think about that.
And if we think well that it would be too much, too far,
well then, just then, we may be getting the point.
Thanks be to God, Amen!
Written by Rev. Victor Kim
Preached on August 28, 2016
at Richmond Presbyterian Church.