Men In Green – Issue #1
Drew rumors abound
By Nigel Jobsman
Mysterious
s only child Hunter Drew constantly surprises us with his unique
blend of madness, but has he finally gone too far?
Officials
Club Officials at Warringah are reportedly trying to keep the lid on an issue that we hear is so big, it
could change the landscape of cricket everywhere.
Hear all if you dare, of what our insider in the Green Men camp, who
claims to be close to Drew, has brought to our attention overnight.
Dreaming
Word is, that while at the crease last season stewing over how a team
mate had just told him he had sold his BBQ, Hunter conceived the idea
of a Utopian, mistake free batsman.
"At first the plan was that Hunter would become this batsman" the insider
said. "His first attempt was 'The Scorpion'. Hunter threw out the tried
and true methods such as having a straight back lift, and moving one's
feet, in lieu of pointing the toe end of the bat menacingly at the incoming
bowler, with arms arched over the head " (not unlike the tail of a
scorpion).
Drew – Not just your average Watmough
This had mixed results for the flame headed paceman. He swished a couple of sixes, but fell far short
of his lofty expectations. This, as well as thinking about how a complete stranger was probably
searing a rib eye on his stolen hot plate, disappointed Hunter. His limitations as a human with below
average co-ordination were now clear.
"Hunter decided he needed to take the human element out of the equation, at times pretending to be
a robot while warming up, other times making robot noises, gun fire noises when playing his shots
and the like. Then it hit him" we were told.
Two weeks later, the rangy Ranga disappeared to Copenhagen.
Moonlight
Hunter was
was studying law when an opportunity presented itself to moonlight at the Danish
Technological Institute. Rubbing shoulders with Professor of Robotics Arnie Shermberg at a party
thrown by someone he had not met, Drew charmed Shermberg into making him his personal
assistant. Arnie and Hunter hit it off, and over time Hunter shared his dream of making the perfect
batsmen.
Together, Arnie and Hunter worked on a prototype batsman which Drew intended to send out to bat
in his stead whenever required. Working around the clock, Shermberg spent his nights making the
robot like look Drew. Meanwhile, Hunter spent all his time between lectures bowling at his robot twin,
painstakingly noting all the shots which needed work so he could tweak the circuitry.
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Men In Green – Issue #1
"I think the process sent him slightly mad".
Using his private school connections, the droid batsman easily cleared
customs, and was stored at Hunters private residence. But what he did
next will shock you to your very core.
Equation
"Hunter was very happy with his product, but wanted to test it before it
affected his average. Knowing that no one can tell them apart, he
decided to trial it in Third Grade as Craig Pecar. Suspiciously, Pecar
was then elevated up the order, and smashed 177 not out, you do the
math. It makes you wonder who else knew about this."
The round 2 game against Pennant Hills saw Pecar and Drew lining up
together. The thoughts are that Hunter used the robot to bat for himself
this time and not Craig for fear of being discovered, Drew suspiciously
not out at stumps - doing just enough to win the game without attracting
too much attention.
Controversial – The Robo-ranga
If it is true, we may have opened a can of worms. We asked Cricket NSW's Cricket Operations
Officer Roy Formica if there was an ethical stance on the matter. "At the moment it is not permitted to
register an artificial life form as a player so we will be following this story very closely" but then went
on to add "however it is permissible to have an artificial covering of hair on a real persons head".
Others have already suggested more practical uses, such as a robot Scott Ryan with stronger
tendons, and shorter post match speeches.
Thankyou to all of our sponsors!!!
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Men In Green – Issue #1
Stand in first grade captain and club coach Louie McMillan
was recently shocked to learn that if you pour coke onto a
piece of pork, worms or maggots will come crawling out.
Louie’s Porky Pies
According to our sources, McMillan spent the week leading up to the trial game researching the
subject on YouTube and was astounded at what he saw. He couldn't wait to tell the boys on Sunday
and so was understandably crestfallen when he learnt it was (of course) a hoax.
Using his temporary position of power, Louie phoned CSIRO officials first thing on Monday morning
who explained that in certain cheap cuts of pork, reserves of fat can be forced out by the bubbles in
the coke.
What will Louie combine Pork with next!!
Step 1 – add coke to pork, Step 2 – no worms!
Green Men Go to Grade
Louie – shocked and dismayed after finding his cokey pork
combo was a hoax, he ate it anyway
Congratulations to Jordan Black and Ethan Collet
who were both selected to play for North Sydney for
the upcoming season.
Their presence in the batting order will be missed, as will Ethan's smoking hot girlfriend, and Jordan's
use of forehead in the field.
Word on the street is that Nathan Heath will turn out for Mosman this year, while Easts reportedly
made a late bid for all-rounder Tom 'TJ' Johnson. Fortunately for Warringah, TJ was drunk when he
received the call and thought it was a telemarketer.
LB providing Jordy with some advice for the future
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Tom Johnston – without his makeup
Men In Green – Issue #1
Tabbo’s Guide to Massive Guns
Green men! By now you have probably noticed my massive guns, yes they
are pretty epic, but these bad boys didn’t just happen over night. I’ve spent
many years now doing isolated bicep exercises and pumping iron to ensure
that the guns never fail to pop out of the sleeves. Follow my step by step
guide, and one day you to will have massive, jaw dropping, over
proportionately big compared to the rest of the body GUNS!
Standing Barbell Curl
A great one to start off
with boys! Load up the
bar and get cracking,
using a 3-1-3 count, nice
and slow on the up
phase, hold and squeeze
the guns for a 1 count
and back down. Stop,
rest, admire the guns in
the mirror and repeat 2
more sets.
Incline Dumbbell curl
This one is great for
hitting the top area of
the biceps! Pick a
weight for 8-10 reps
and using a 2-1-2
count curl away. Be
sure to face the incline
bench straight on to
the mirror so you can
“check” your form.
Concentration curl
Superior gun isolation
move this one. Choose a
nice heavy dumbbell that
you can squeeze out 810 reps with and go to
Once
again
town.
perform this jobbie nice
and slow and give the
cep a good squeeze at
the top. Good chance to
really get up close and
personal with your gun as you look down
adoringly at it while it pumps away. Exciting
stuff!
Lying cable curl
Cable action is
great
because
your biceps will
be under tension
the whole time
and you know what that means, massive
guns!!! Lying on the ground as shown, jack up
the weight for a good 5-8 rep set and curl that
bar up towards your chest. This is an excellent
exercise especially when there are birds in the
gym wearing short skirts or tights, did
someone say camel toe??
Hammer curl
Now while I do love a good
bicep isolation, the old
hammer curl is great for
some forearm action too,
after
all,
with
weak
forearms you’ll struggle to
load up on the heavy bicep
curls!!
Stand
with
dumbbells by your side,
palms facing inwards are
curl up keeping you hands
facing inwards, feel that
forearm burn baby!!
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Preacher Curl
The granddaddy of
all bicep isolation
exercises. I can
personally say that
the preacher is the
sole reason why
my guns are so
massive, love it,
feel the flow. Go a
bit lighter if you have to so you can squeeze
out 8-10 good slow 3-1-3 count reps. The key
here is to fully extend you arms at the bottom
because that will really hit the insertion point of
your cep at the elbow, giving you the beautiful
pronounced gun look coming out of the shirt.
Men In Green – Issue #1
WCC Dictionary
We here at Warringah are a weird bunch. The following
dictionary may help new comers decipher some of the dribble
that we carry on with.
Jobbie
[noun] 1 Word used by Cuzza to describe
anything and nothing. Can be used in singular
(“look at that jobbie”. and plural forms (“one of
those jobbies”).
2 Used in Scotland as a word for poo. (“Ah feel
better noo ahv dun a jobbie”)
Chocolate Eyes
[noun] 1 Edgo
[adj] 1 Word used to describe someone who
wears glasses (“he looked a bit geeky because
he had chocolate eyes”)
Foodie
[noun] 1 A piece of food on someone’s face
(“LB walked into the dressing room with foodie
on his face”)
2 A term used to alert someone that they have
food on their face (“in the process of eating his
burger too fast Slippery got sauce on his face,
Rex pointed at him and yelled Foodie!!!”)
3 User can emphasise the “oo” sound in the
word to exaggerate the term e.g. foooooooodie
Uncon
[abbrev.] 1 Short for “unconditional love”, a
thing which every member of WCC has for
every other member, past, present and future
(“Rexy and Lozza looked at each other and
could feel the uncon that they shared for each
other”)
Corn Farmer
[noun] 1 Term developed by Robbie Brindle
circa 2002 to describe someone who’s work
you are not a fan of, on and off the cricket field
(when the PWC nicked one through slips for
four, Doogie promptly yelled out, this guy is a
f%^ing corn farmer!!!”)
Potato Farmer
[noun] 1 Opposite of corn farmer. Apparently
because potatoes are nice, however they are
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cooked, anything involving potatoes is a good
thing (“As Gravies bowled another great over
Wah applauded and said ‘That’s potatoes
mate!’”)
PWC
[abbrev] 1 Poxy Westie C%^&
2 A term used to describe any opposition team
members from any other club in shires except
Warringah. Can be used in plural form when
describing a whole group or team or even club
of these people (“good work lads, always
enjoyable to get a win over the PWC’s from
Southern Districts”)
Nigel
[noun] 1 Generic name which rockstars can
use to call people when they don’t actually
know their real name (“that’s a good point that
Nigel just made” ->Dick Fry points to Harmless)
Angry Dog
[noun] 1 Rexy’s homebrew
2 Beer not sold commercially, only available
over the bar at the Field of Dreams
3 Quite potent, has brought many under and
over 24’s unstuck during a game of backyard
cricket (“LB fell into the veggie patch from a
combination of skulling vodka cruisers and
Rexy’s angry dog”)
Acutal Lenny
[noun] 1 Lenny
Virtual Lenny
[noun] 1 Lenny’s Brother
Kibbi
[noun] 1 Middle eastern savoury food
comprised of onion, ham or other meats and
spices encased in a hard starchy exterior
2 TJ’s nickname (“Kibbi smashed another six
over cow corner to bring up his 50”)
Men In Green – Issue #1
Kamie
Cafeteria
[noun] 1 Cheap, crappy cricket bat with no
middle, as it it were purchased from K-Mart
(“Louie couldn’t reach the boundary even
though he middled it because he was using his
Kamie”
2 A good quality bat with no middle
[adj] 1 Word used to describe a shot that a
batsmen has hit, which although they tried to
smoke it, only dribbles a short distance (“Scotty
tried to smash one through covers but it only
dribbled to point, the boys yelled out - KAMIE”)
[noun] 1The name of the WCC canteen
according to Scotty Ryan
Botulism Creek
[noun] 1 The creek which runs along the back
end of Frank Gray and Weldon also referred to
as “Botchy”
(“TJ smashed one long, all the way into
Botulism creek, it vapourised on impact”)
Creepy
[adj] 1 Term used to describe something that is
slightly weird, unusual or a word that can be
substituted when a person is unable to think of
the right word to describe something (“upon
inspection of the wicket while it was reasonably
hard there were a few creepy areas”)
Prize Giving
[verb] 1 The name of an after match preso
according to Scotty Ryan
Spoons
[verb] 1 A simple game of man vs man where
each person takes it in turns to try and hit the
opponent on the back of the head using
nothing but the spoon in their mouth.
2 Each player sits opposite each other and a
quick flick of the neck is required to deliver
maximum impact
3 Over the years the game has seen many a
youngster come unstuck against the older,
more “experienced” spoon players, but maybe
this year one of the young fellas can finally
take down a campaigner.
Horse of the Week
Stan Poo
[noun] 1 A poo or turd
2 Attempted rhyming slang by Little Brad on
MIG UK trip circa 2004. Instead of saying “Stan
Jurd” the famous rhyming slang term for turd,
LB stuffed up and said Stan Poo instead (“LB
stood up and announced, I’m off to do a stan
poo ’”)
Dangerously Firm
[adj] 1 Description of a wicket which is neither
hard nor soft, is perhaps unprepared and/or is
a good wicket to lose the toss on.
2 To the naked eye the deck may look decent
however the pill is certain to jag an absolute
mile off the deck and if you don’t wear a helmet
there’s a fair chance you’ll cop one on the nose
(“Rex took one look at the deck and
commented, she’s dangerously firm”)
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Gravies – funny but so creepy at the same time
How to horse – get a mate ready with the
camera and just before the photo is taken blow
air out your mouth in a forceful manner as if a
horse was doing one of its signature mouth
blowing jobbies. The more teeth and gums
shown the better!
Send entries for horse of the week to
[email protected] !!!
Men In Green – Issue #1
WCC LOOK ALIKES
Chappo
Benny Pace
Pecs
Billy Elliot
Ganguly
Shermanator
Bug
Rodge
Bug
Fridge
Huge Scores in Round 1!!!
Congrats to Craig “VVS Shermanator” Pecar for smashing 177 not in his 3rd grade match in
round 1. It was the 3rd highest individual score in 3rd behind 2 other MIGs Paul Dolby and Ben
King. 4th grade were no slouches with the bat either amassing a record 8/462 in their 1st round
match. Grobs boomed 153 and Liam Tully 108. Sensational batting MIGs!!! Unfortunately the
“curse of the gimp” prevented any play on Day 2 of the matches. Cmmmmon Eppinggggggggg!!
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Men In Green – Issue #1
Lesson #1 – The webber
Cooking tender arse meat is one of lifes simple pleasures and if a bloke
can’t cook a steak properly or send a few slices of melt in your mouth
eye fillet your way then it can be quite frankly, immasculating. In this
tutorial I will provide step by step instructions of how to produce a tender,
juicy and flavoursome slab of butterflied leg of lamb. My marinade of
choice is Taka Tala®, a South African combination of herbs, spices and
fruits which tenderises the meat and imparts a sensational flavour. Other
basic marinades can be used however it is best to keep it simple and let
the lamb be the hero, rosemary, lemon juice, olive oil and garlic is another favourite.
Step 1 – The Pouch
Get your butterflied leg of lamb and put it in a large zip lock bag
and add the marinade then seal and leave in the fridge for a few
days. This process is known as pouching and allows the
marinade to be in intimate contact with the meat, imparting
flavours and starting the tenderising process. If possible ask
your butcher to pouch for you and he can then cryovac the bag,
this removal of air allows the lamb to be in even more intimate
contact with the marinade = more tender meat and more
flavour!!! Every day take the meat out of the fridge, give it a 5
minute massage and show it some love. Prior to cooking
remove from the pouch and let the meat come to room temperature. Now prepare the webber!!
Step 2 – Webber Prep
You can either use heat beads or proper charcoal to cook your
meat in the webber, personally I use a combination of both. The
heat beads provide a constant heat source and the charcoal while
also providing heat, imparts a special smokey flavour into the meat
which is high qual. As seen in the picture, place a tray in the middle
and have the coals on either side. This allows you the freedom to
cook via indirect heat (put meat in middle, close lid and cook like an
oven) or direct heat (meat straight over coals, standard bbq style). I
like to use a combo of both cooking styles to maximise flavour,
juiciness and tenderness of the meat!
Step 3 – Indirect cooking
Once the coals are ready to rock slap you meat in the middle
part of the webber so that the meat isn’t over the coals, if you do
this and close the lid for 15 mins you’ll end up with a lump of
burnt creep!! Close the lid and leave for 10-15 mins. After 15,
open up, baste liberally with the remaining marinade in the tray,
turn over and put the lid back on. Have a knife or stick handy to
punish the infamous “webber peeker”. You’re friend might just
be excited to check out the meat but opening the lid too often
will let all the heat out and affect the cooking! Don’t do it!
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Men In Green – Issue #1
Step 4 – Finishing off
Once the meat is pretty much cooked through take the lid off
and put the meat over the coals. This will give a nice finishing
touch and produce caramelised crispy bits, mmmmmmmmm.
During this process continue to baste the meat and turn it
regularly while it cooks. The coals will fire back up again being
exposed to the air so some flames may appear. Don’t be shy,
slap the meat around and give it a good char grill. A bit of black
here is schweet and a nice crispy exterior is what we’re looking
for! When finished grab a tray and remove the meat from the
heat and rest the meat.
Step 5 – Rest and Carve
The meat should be rested at room temp for at least 20 mins.
Longer for bigger cuts of meat. Resting allows for the meat
juices to evenly distribute back through the meat. If you serve or
carve too early this juice will just pour out all over the plate and
the meat won’t be as tender or taste as juicy as it could! Resist
the temptation to blow too soon! Once sufficiently rested carve
against the grain of the meat into nice thick slices. Serve up and
enjoy your qual webbered meat with a tatie bake and a salad.
Sit back and enjoy the praise as people make groaning noises
at how tender and flavoursome the meat is. Webber it up baby!!
Thanks go out to our parents and helpers who come along to the games to support their MIG. We
couldn’t do it without you! Special thanks to Sue Lewis who devotes her Saturdays to scoring for the
1’s and Margaret “Tabby Treats” Tabrett for taking the action shots for our website and baking up
sensational tabby treats for the boys. She also takes over scoring duties when Sue is away, on fire!!!
Thanks also to Tony Pecar for taking charge of the 3rd grade scoring duties. The book is always in a
neat and tidy fashion and it’s comforting for the team when we know the book will add up, rather than
needing 5 more runs “to make sure” circa the Reon days!
Scotty “too hotty” Ryhole, our injured first grade skipper has been doing some outstanding clubman
work this year. Despite having an Achilles tendon tighter than a banjo sting he has been there at
training and the game spurring the boys on with his “contructive” comments and energy! Old pirate
even cooked up our first preso bbq for the boys too, out standing performance!!!
Curry Translation
We couldn’t do it
without you
helpers, go the
MIG hrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Tabby Treat of the Week – Cookies
and Cream Cheesecake, increasing
MIG waistlines since 2010
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Men In Green – Issue #1
Tim Creer Creep!
WCC is proud to announce the arrival of its 5th grade squad into the Metropolitan Cup Comp!!
All major Northern Beaches Cricket parties (Grade, Shires, Manly Academy and Manly Junior Reps)
got together to form the pathway for all aspiring cricketers on the Northern beaches. The aim is to
allow all players to have a clear direction for cricket on the northern Beaches and most importantly
enjoy cricket along the way.
We are in a unique position as no other Cricket community has anything like what we have set up for
this year. With the help of Mick Pawley, Doug McGrath, Ross Trewartha, Rory Wightley and Dave
Gainsford, this relationship was formed and now the opportunities are enormous and the future looks
bright for cricket on the northern beaches with Warringah Shires playing a massive role in the whole
set up.
Players from 4/5s will be able to be selected for Manly grade as well as Players coming from Manly
5th grade to shires. Exciting times!
Round 1 Standouts:
G. Davies – 4/38 1st Grade
S. Butterworth – 3-44 1st Grade
A. Norman – 46 1st Grade
T. Kelly – 84* 2nd Grade
T. Kaye – 43 2nd Grade
P. Chapman – 3/14 2nd Grade
C. Pecar – 177* 3rd Grade
B. D’Arcy – 81 3rd Grade
S. Grobbs – 153 4th Grade
L. Tully – 108 4th Grade
J. Daly – 92 4th Grade
K. Gillespie – 43 4th Grade
L. Tully – 60* 5th Grade
M. Cole – 45 5th Grade
S. Gainsford – 4/39 5th Grade
Round 2 Standouts:
T. Bourke - 68 1st Grade
D. Tabrett - 61 1st Grade
A. Kirkby - 4/28 1st Grade
R. Dunn - 3/25 2nd Grade
R. Wightley - 3/39 2nd Grade
S. Gainsford - 51 3rd Grade
S. Smith - 4/22 3rd Grade
J. Graham - 3/12 3rd Grade
K. Gillespie (Beibs) - 51* 4th Grade
Penno Creeps Cop the Clean Sweep
Great effort in Round 2 greenies with a perfect clean sweep of Pennant Hills. Unfortunately our Tim
Creer Cup squad went down to Souths in their one day much however they remain 1 from 2 in the
Metropolitan Cup comp which doesn’t affect Club Championship standings. The MIG are now sitting
3rd in the Dave after only 2 rounds. A great effort considering we had washouts in 3rd and 4th grade
round 1 with poss confirmed victories on the cards. A huge match against Auburn this round who are
strong across all grades. Go out there and take pride in the green and we’ll come out on top. Let sing
4 more songs and have another preso shout!!! And hopefully the fives will get a crack at the song this
week, although with many new guys and youngsters in the team the song might take a while to gather
momentum…… love to be a fly on the wall in that dressing room.
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