Writing
Workshop 6
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
SUGGESTED LEARNING STRATEGIES: Quickwrite, Close Reading,
Marking the Text, Graphic Organizer, Think Aloud, Think-Pair-Share,
Brainstorming, Webbing, Outlining, Drafting, Rearranging, Deleting,
Sharing and Responding
Focus:
The purpose of an expository essay is to communicate ideas and information to
specific audiences for specific purposes.
Goal:
Write a multi-paragraph expository essay that:
• Presents effective introductory and concluding paragraphs.
• Contains a clear thesis or controlling idea.
• Uses a clear organizational schema for conveying ideas.
• Includes relevant and substantial evidence and well-chosen details.
• Includes information on multiple, relevant perspectives.
• Considers the validity, reliability, and relevancy of primary and secondary
sources.
• Uses a variety of rhetorical devices.
• Uses transitions between paragraphs.
• Uses a variety of sentence structures.
Activity 1: Discovering Elements of a Multi-Paragraph
Definition Essay
1. Quickwrite: What do you know about expository writing? How might the purpose
of a definition essay fit into the genre of expository writing?
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To achieve this goal, you will practice writing in the expository genre of definition.
You will engage in a series of activities in which you work with your teacher and with
your classmates to construct two model definition essays. You will use these models
to write your own definition essay.
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
2. Read the following essay to discover the thesis or controlling idea. Mark the text
to locate supporting information (relevant and substantial evidence and wellchosen details from multiple perspectives).
Sample Text
Is a Hero Really Nothing
but a Sandwich?
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
by Ted Tollefson
For several years, a picture of Warren Spahn of the Milwaukee Braves hung on
my closet door, one leg poised in mid-air before he delivered a smoking fastball. Time
passed and Spahn’s picture gave way to others; Elvis, John F. Kennedy, Carl Jung, Joseph
Campbell, Ben Hogan. These heroic images have reflected back to me what I hoped
to become: a man with good moves, a sex symbol, an electrifying orator, a plumber of
depths, a teller of tales, a graceful golfer. Like serpents, we keep shedding the skins of our
heroes as we move toward new phases in our lives.
Like many of my generation, I have a weakness for hero worship. At some point,
however, we all begin to question our heroes and our need for them. This leads us to ask:
What is a hero?
Despite immense differences in cultures, heroes around the world generally share a
number of traits that instruct and inspire people.
A hero does something worth talking about. A hero has a story of adventure to tell
and a community who will listen. But a hero goes beyond mere fame and celebrity.
Heroes serve powers or principles larger than themselves. Like high-voltage
transformers, heroes take the energy of higher powers and step it down so that it can be
used by ordinary mortals.
The hero lives a life worthy of imitation. Those who imitate a genuine hero experience
life with new depth, zest, and meaning. A sure test for would be heroes is what or whom
do they serve? What are they willing to live and die for? If the answer or evidence suggests
they serve only their won fame, they may be celebrities but not heroes. Madonna and
Michael Jackson are famous, but who would claim that their adoring fans find life more
abundant?
Heroes are catalysts for change. They have a vision from the mountaintop. They
have the skill and the charm to move the masses. They create new possibilities. Without
Gandhi, India might still be part of the British Empire. Without Rosa Parks and Martin
Luther King Jr., we might still have segregated buses, restaurants, and parks. It may be
possible for large-scale change to occur without charismatic leaders, but the pace of
change would be glacial, the vision uncertain, and the committee meetings endless.
Though heroes aspire to universal values, most are bound to the culture from which
they came. The heroes of the Homeric Greeks wept loudly for their lost comrades and
exhibited their grief publicly. A later generation of Greeks under the tutelage of Plato
disdained this display of grief as “unmanly.”
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
43
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
Though the heroic tradition of white Americans is barely 300 years old, it already
shows some unique and unnerving features. While most traditional heroes leave home,
have an adventure and return home to tell the story, American heroes are often homeless.
They come out of nowhere, right what is wrong, and then disappear into the wilderness.
Throughout most of the world, it is acknowledged that heroes need a community as much
as a community needs them.
And most Americans seem to prefer their heroes flawless, innocent, forever wearing a
white hat or airbrushed features. Character flaws – unbridled lust, political incorrectnessare held as proof that our heroes aren’t’ really heroes. Several heroes on my own list have
provided easy targets for the purveyors of heroic perfectionism.
The ancient Greeks and Hebrews were wiser on this count. They chose for their heroes
men and women with visible, tragic flaws. Oedipus’ fierce curiosity raised him to be king
but also lured him into his mother’s bed. King David’s unbounded passion made him
dance naked before the Ark and led him to betray Uriah so he could take Bathsheba for
his wife.
American heroes lack a sense of home that might limit and ground their grandiose
ambitions. American heroes avoid acknowledging their own vices, which makes them
more likely to look for somebody else to blame when things go wrong. Our national
heroes seem to be stuck somewhere between Billy Budd and the Lone Ranger; pious,
armed cowboys who are full of energy, hope and dangerous naïveté.
4. Create a graphic organizer of the components and characteristics of a multiparagraph definition essay. This organizer will serve as a model for you during
the writing process as you generate and refine your own essay.
Activity 2: Writing a Class Essay
Prompt: Write a multi-paragraph essay that defines an abstract concept (e.g.,
morality, patriotism, equality) or a common phrase or idea (a good movie, the ideal
vacation, the perfect friend). Be sure the essay meets the requirements listed in the
goal statement for writing an effective multi-paragraph expository essay.
1. Read and mark the prompt to clarify the task.
2. With your class, choose a topic for the essay, and write it here.
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3. Revisit the sample text, and number each paragraph to help you analyze the
organizational structure of the essay. Work with a partner to discuss the purpose
of each paragraph, and note your thoughts in the margin. Think about how the
organizational plan serves to convey ideas.
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Prewriting
2. Conduct prewriting on separate paper.
3. To create an effective draft, you will need a thesis to give focus to the essay. A
thesis statement has two purposes: to express a central opinion to be proven and
to provide direction as to how the writer intends to show or develop the opinion.
An effective thesis should include an opinion to be proven; it is not a fact.
Consider a three-part process when developing a working thesis:
• Define or identify the task set by the prompt.
• Consider what needs to be addressed in the response.
• Decide how to best respond.
Your thesis shows your reader that you are competent in what you are saying
and fully committed to your opinion on the subject. Generate a working thesis
statement, and write it here.
Sources
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
4. Review your familiarity with primary and secondary sources. For this essay,
explaining your definition is central; the sources should support your
explanation.
• What is a primary source?
• What is a secondary source?
• What types of sources might you anticipate being presented for this
writing task?
To help ensure that you use substantial, accurate, and timely sources to support your
position, it is important to consider each source’s validity, reliability, and relevancy.
• Validity: Does the information appear to be well researched? Is there a
bibliography or list of sources? Does the information appear to be free from bias
or a single position?
• Reliability: Are the author’s name and qualifications clearly identified? Is the
information from a respected institution (e.g., a university)? If it is an online
resource, is the site listed as .gov, .edu, or .org rather than .com?
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
45
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
• Relevancy: Is there a date when the information was created or last updated?
Who is the intended audience? Consider the tone, style, level of information, and
assumptions the author makes about the reader. Are they appropriate for your
needs?
5. Examine the sources provided for you or that you have gathered to help write
the class-constructed definition essay. Analyze the sources and determine what
information can be used in your essay. Add new information to your prewriting.
6. Successful definition essays go beyond dictionary definitions to extend the
definition in order to show the writer’s personal opinion. To extend your
definition of a concept or term, use a variety of strategies by defining by function,
classification, example, and negation.
• Define by function by showing what something does or how something
operates in the world.
• Define by classification by explaining to what group(s) something belongs.
• Define by example by showing specific, relevant examples that fit the writer’s
definition.
• Define by negation by explaining what something is by showing what it is
not. Using negation helps to contrast your definition with others’ definitions.
7. Consider a clear organizational schema that will convey your ideas and is appropriate to
your purpose, audience, and context of your topic.
Drafting the Essay
Next, you will draft body paragraphs. A body paragraph consists of these elements:
• Transitions: Words or phrases used to connect ideas (e.g., for example, for
instance).
• Supporting information: Well-chosen information, facts, and details from
multiple perspectives. Information should be relevant and substantial,
synthesized from a variety of primary and secondary sources, and from sources
that are valid, reliable, and relevant.
• Commentary: Sentences that explain how the information is relevant to the
thesis/topic sentence. These sentences are vital as they serve to reflect, analyze,
explain, and interpret. Sentences of commentary also bring a sense of closure to
the paragraph.
8. With your class, generate an outline for the body paragraphs. Draft your body
paragraphs on separate paper.
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• Topic sentence: A strong, clear, organizing sentence which consists of a subject
and opinion that works directly to support the thesis.
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Introducing and Concluding the Essay
Now that you have co-constructed a thesis and body paragraphs, you are ready to
create the introduction and conclusion of the essay. Introductions open an essay and
set the writer’s ideas in motion. The introduction should spark the reader’s attention
and accurately introduce the writer’s position. Introductory paragraphs include
the following:
• A hook or lead: Consider using a quote, question, anecdote, or statement of
intrigue to create your hook or lead.
• A connection between the hook/lead and the thesis.
• A clear thesis statement describing the subject and opinion.
The conclusion brings a sense of closure to the essay. The most satisfying essay
is one in which the conclusion provides an interesting way of wrapping up ideas
introduced in the beginning of the essay and developed throughout. Use levels of
questions to guide your thinking in crafting a conclusion that echoes, but does not
exactly repeat, your controlling idea or thesis:
• What ideas have you presented in the essay? (literal)
• How are the ideas significant? (interpretive)
• Why does it matter in a larger context? (universal)
7. Now write the introduction and conclusion for your Definition essay.
Revising
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
Now that the class essay is fully drafted, consider the language used to convey the
ideas. A writer makes stylistic choices in language for effect, variety, and coherence.
Rhetorical devices serve to communicate a particular purpose to an intended
audience and to help ideas have a lasting effect on the reader. Some examples of
rhetorical devices are allusion, asyndeton, and polysyndeton. Incorporate rhetorical
devices into the class essay.
• An allusion is a direct or indirect reference to a well-known person, event, or
place from history, music, art, or another literary work. Allusions can serve to
provide energy to what could be a limited discussion and to help the reader make
personal connections to the writer’s point. Example: The software included a
Trojan Horse. (allusion to the Trojan horse from Greek mythology)
• Asyndeton consists of omitting conjunctions between words, phrases, or clauses.
In a list of items, asyndeton gives the effect of automatic multiplicity. Example:
An empty stream, a great silence, an impenetrable forest. The air was thick,
warm, heavy, sluggish. —Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
• Polysyndeton is the use of a conjunction between each word, phrase, or
clause, and is thus structurally the opposite of asyndeton. The rhetorical effect
of polysyndeton, however, often shares with that of asyndeton a feeling of
multiplicity and a lively building up. Example: And soon it lightly dipped, and
rose, and sank… — John Keats, Endymion
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
47
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Expository Writing
Definition Essay
Varying sentence structure can be achieved by using different syntactical
constructions. Certain types of sentences, their lengths, or their arrangement can
affect the text significantly by adding interest or emphasis. Experiment with sentence
lengths to help strengthen your definition essay.
• Telegraphic sentences are shorter than five words in length.
• Short sentences are approximately five words in length.
• Medium sentences are approximately eighteen words in length.
• Long sentences are thirty words or more in length.
Coherence: A coherent essay is one that presents ideas that tie together and flow
smoothly, making the essay easy to follow for the reader. Revise for coherence by
using transitional words within and between paragraphs and using varied sentence
structures.
• Transitional words that can be used to prove include the following: because,
since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, besides, indeed, in
fact, in any case.
• Words used to give examples include: for example, for instance, in this case,
on this occasion, in this situation, to demonstrate, take the case of, as an
illustration, to illustrate this point.
8. Revise the essay for coherence.
9. Reflection: What additional support might you need to write a definition essay?
Prompt: Write a multi-paragraph essay that defines an abstract concept (e.g.,
morality, patriotism, equality) or a common phrase or idea (a good movie, the ideal
vacation, the perfect friend) that is different than the topic chosen for the class essay.
Be sure the essay meets the requirements listed in the goal statement for writing an
effective multi-paragraph expository essay.
Generating Content
1. In your writing group, review and mark the prompt to highlight major elements of
the task you’re being asked to do. Use a prewriting strategy to explore ideas that
may address the prompt.
2. Select the best ideas from your prewriting to construct a working thesis for your
essay.
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Activity 3: Writing an Essay with Peers
Writing
Workshop 6
continued
Drafting
3. Review and organize the ideas from your prewriting as you draft your body
paragraphs. Use an outline to organize the ideas in your body paragraphs. Be
sure to brainstorm topic sentences that support the thesis and include relevant
and substantial evidence with well-chosen details to support the topic sentences
and thesis statement. Make sure you consider the validity, reliability, and
relevance of primary and secondary sources. Draft your body paragraphs and
include commentary.
4. Read your body paragraphs and discuss an effective way to introduce and
conclude your key ideas. Use a prewriting strategy to generate a draft that
demonstrates the parts of an effective introduction (e.g., hook/lead, connection,
and thesis) and conclusion (response to the levels of questions).
Revising
5. Reread the goal statement at the beginning of the workshop, and use the bullet
points as a writer’s checklist. Read aloud your draft in your writing group to
gather feedback based on the criteria of an effective expository informational
definition essay.
6. Review your draft for language use. Select ideas to emphasize by incorporating
appropriate rhetorical devices such as allusion, asyndeton, and polysyndeton.
© 2011 College Board. All rights reserved.
7. Review your draft for syntactical choices and coherence:
• Discuss how your syntactical choices help achieve your desired effect. Revise
for purposeful sentence lengths (telegraphic, short, medium, and long).
• Discuss which transitions can be used effectively to link ideas within and
between your body paragraphs. Incorporate transitions into your draft.
Editing for Publication
8. Read your draft and peer edit to correct errors in grammar, punctuation, and
spelling.
9. Discuss the key ideas present in your essay, and generate a list of potentially
creative titles for your essay. Rank them and select one. Place a title at the top of
your essay.
Activity 4: Independent Writing
Prompt: Write a multi-paragraph essay that defines your interpretation of the
American Dream. Be sure the essay meets the requirements listed in the goal
statement for writing an effective multi-paragraph expository essay.
Writing Workshop 6 • Expository Writing
49
Writing Workshop 6
Expository Writing
Scoring Criteria
Exemplary
Proficient
Emerging
Development of
Ideas
The composition
• asserts a focused, clearly
stated thesis
• develops and supports
the thesis thoroughly with
relevant, significant, and
substantial facts, concrete
details, quotations, or other
information appropriate to
the audience
• selects and applies support
information from primary
and/or secondary sources
that are valid, reliable, and
relevant
• synthesizes information
on multiple, relevant
perspectives.
The composition
• asserts a clear thesis
• develops and supports the
thesis with relevant facts,
concrete details, quotations,
or other information
appropriate to the audience
• chooses support from primary
and/or secondary sources
after considering validity,
reliability, and relevancy
• incorporates information on
various perspectives.
The composition
• presents an unfocused or
limited thesis
• contains facts, concrete
details, quotations, or other
information that may not
develop and support the topic
or may be inappropriate to
the audience
• demonstrates limited
consideration of the validity,
reliability, or relevancy of
primary and/or secondary
sources
• contains insufficient
information on various
perspectives.
Organizational
Structure
The composition
• organizes complex ideas so
that each new element builds
on that which precedes it to
create a unified whole
• creates an effective and
engaging organization that
articulates the implications or
significance of the topic and
sequences ideas effectively
using a variety of meaningful
transitions.
The composition
• organizes ideas so that each
new element builds on that
which precedes it to create
cohesion
• presents a clear and focused
introduction and conclusion
and sequences ideas,
using transitions to create
coherence to connect the
larger ideas of the essay.
The composition
• demonstrates limited
cohesion; expected parts may
be missing
• contains an underdeveloped
and/or unfocused
introduction
• presents disconnected ideas
and limited use of transitions
• contains an underdeveloped
or unfocused conclusion.
Use of
Language
The composition
• uses precise diction and a
variety of sentence types
and structures deliberately
chosen to enhance the
reader’s understanding of a
complex topic
• uses a variety of rhetorical
devices with skill and
purpose
• demonstrates superior
command of conventions of
standard English.
The composition
• uses diction and a variety of
sentence types or structures
that appropriately manages
the topic
• uses a variety of rhetorical
devices effectively
• demonstrates a command of
conventions so that minor
errors do not interfere with
meaning.
The composition
• uses diction that is
inappropriate at times for
managing the topic
• shows little or no variety in
sentence structure
• uses few or no rhetorical
devices
• contains errors in grammar,
punctuation, capitalization,
or spelling that interfere with
meaning.
Writing Process
The composition reflects skillful
revision and editing to produce
a draft ready for publication.
The composition reflects
revision and editing to produce
an essay ready for publication.
The composition demonstrates
minimal revision and editing
and is not ready for publication.
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SCORING GUIDE