Dream On
Senior Script
by
Malcolm Sircom
1/210212
ISBN: 978 1 84237 025 4
Published by
Musicline Publications
P.O. Box 15632
Tamworth
Staffordshire
B77 5BY
01827 281 431
www.musiclinedirect.com
No part of this publication may be transmitted, stored in a retrieval system, or reproduced in any
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Permission to perform this show from the publisher ‘MUSICLINE PUBLICATIONS’ is always
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direct contravention of copyright legislation and deprives the writers of their livelihood.
Anyone intending to perform this show should, in their own interests, make application to the
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All Rights Strictly Reserved.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
Male
Theseus, Duke of Athens
Philostrate, a Courtier. (Could be female)
Egeus, a cantankerous old man, father of Hermia.
Lysander, an athlete, in love with Hermia.
Demetrius, Also an althlete and in love with Hermia
Bottom, a weaver
)
Quince, a carpenter
)
Snug, a joiner
)
Flute, a bellows-maker
)
Snout, a tinker.
)
Starveling, a tailor
) (The “Rude Mechanicals”)
Robin Goodfella, of the Mafia, who is also the fairy Puck
Luigi Corleone, of the Mafia. (Prononced “Looweegee”)
Gino Corleone, of the Mafia. (Prononced “Jeeno”)
Oberon, King of the Fairies.
NB The “Rude Mechanicals” could be female, except Bottom and Flute
Female
Hippolyta, a Venezuelan, betrothed to Theseus.
Hermia, daughter of Egues, in love with Lysander.
Helena, in love with Demetrius.
Titania, Queen of the Fairies.
Peaseblossom
)
Cobweb
)
Moth
)
Mustardseed
)
Fairies
Plus
A Chorus of Boy Fairies (Oberon’s) and a Chorus of Girl Fairies (Titania’s), who can
also be part of
A permanent Choir/Chorus.
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CONTENTS
ACT ONE
Prologue
Song One
Scene One
Song Two
Song Three
Scene Two
Song Four
Life is a lottery
The Court Of Theseus
Venezuelan Tango
Dream On
The company
Rude Mechanicals
Quince, Snug, Bottom, Starveling
Flute, Snout & Chorus
The above.
Song Five
Scene Three
Song Six
Reprise: Rude Mechanicals
Palace Wood
Goodfella
Music Six A
Song Seven
Music Eight
Song Nine
Song Ten
Scene Four
Song Eleven
Scene Five
Song Twelve
Goodfella Rap Exit
Pretty Little Fairies
Processional Music
You fancy me
The Roundabout Of Love
Song Thirteen
Rock Bottom
Hippolyta, Theseus
Hermia, Lysander & Chorus
Robin Goodfella & The Corleone
Brothers
The Corleone Brothers
Boy & Girl Fairies
Oberon, Titania, Boy & Girl Fairies
Demetrius, Helena & Chorus
Reprise: Dream On
The Chorus
Fame and Fortune
Bottom, the other Mechanicals &
Chorus
The Company
ACT TWO
Prologue
Song Fourteen
Scene One
Song Fifteen
Song Sixteen
Helena
Song Seventeen
Scene Two
Song Eighteen
Song Nineteen
Song Twenty
Hero Or Villain
(Still Palace Wood)
Quiet Quarrel
Kung-Fu
The Company
Puck, Oberon & Chorus
Lysander, Demetrius, Hermia,
& Chorus
The Chorus
Reprise: Dream On
Blues On a Foggy Night
Flamenco Dance
Conga
Titania, Girl Fairies & Chorus
Hippolyta
Hippolyta, the lovers, Theseus,
Philostrate, Egeus & Chorus
Scene Three
Scene Four
The Court of Theseus
Music Twenty One Wedding March
Music Twenty Two Fanfare
Song Twenty Three Finale: Dream On
After the Curtain
Song Twenty Four Curtain Reprise: Fame And Fortune
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The Company.
ACT ONE – PROLOGUE
Song One – Life Is A Lottery
Group 1:
Doo, doo, doo, doo-be-doo,
Doo, doo, doo, doo-be-doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo-be-doo, doo.
(Spoken) Wealth!
Group 2:
(While Group 1 repeat their phrases)
Bop, bop, bop, bop-shoo-wa,
Bop, bop, bop, bop-shoo-wa,
Bop, bop, bop, bop-shoo-wa, bop.
(Spoken – Not Group 1) Fame!
Group 3:
(While Groups 1 & 2 repeat their phrases)
La, la, la, oo-sha-la,
La, la, la, oo-sha-la,
La, la, la, oo-sha-la, la.
(Spoken – Not Groups 1 & 2) Zilch!
All:
(Refrain) Life is a lottery, that is played by everyone.
Life is a lottery, who will be the lucky one?
The more you put in, the better your odds,
But in the end, it’s all in the lap of the gods!
Life is a lottery, all you need’s a lucky draw.
It’s the same for rich or for poor.
But there has gotta be a winner or two.
Who knows one day life’s lottery may pick you!
Group 1:
(Verse) Why should you be a loser?
You can win the big prize.
Don’t give in to the blues, go
Get those stars in your eyes.
When your chance comes, you grab it,
Or you may be too late.
Good luck’s just a good habit.
Do you wanna be great?
Group 2:
Group 3:
All:
(All repeat the Refrain, finishing:-)
(Shout) You! (End of Song)
END OF PROLOGUE
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SCENE ONE – THE COURT OF THESEUS
(Enter THESEUS, Duke of Athens, and HIPPOLYTA, a fiery Venezuelan)
Theseus:
Now, fair Hippolyta our nuptial hour draws on apace.
Hippolyta:
Que? Ah, si. You are meaning our whedding day. She is near now –
five li’l days, thass’all.
Theseus:
That’s all? Four long days, and four long nights! It seems an eternity.
Hippolyta:
Ah, my dear Theseus, so impatient! Shust you see, the time will fly, as
in a dream.
Theseus:
But so many things to prepare. And as Duke of Athens, I have my
duties to fulfil, too. Where’s my Minister of State? I sent for him ages
ago. (Enter PHILOSTRATE, hurring) Ah, there you are, Mandelson.
(Or current misbehaving politican)
Philostrate:
Philostrate, my Lord. You sacked Mandelson, remember?
Thesues:
Of course. And now you’re here, go.
Philo:
Go where?
Theseus:
Our wedding approaches. Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments,
and find suitable entertainment for my beloved and myself.
Philo:
I go. (Hurries out and immediately re-enters) I come back. I’ve just
remembered, there’s an amateur theatrical troupe that has been highly
recommended. Shall I…?
Theseus:
Of course, of course. Now go.
Philo:
I go. (Pauses at exit) I don’t come back. (Exits)
Hippolyta:
You treat him mucho bad. In Venethuela, would cause government to
fall. You treat me mucho bad, too, chwhen you outbid my country for
the Olympic Games.
Theseus:
Nothing personal, my darling. You represented your country, I
represented Greece. My bid had huge lottery funding.
Hippolyta:
Venethuela very poor. Could not compete.
Theseus:
Besides, it was time for the Games to return home. But think of the
good that came out of it. We met, and fell in love.
Hippolyta:
Si. Plenty amore. Any woman can forgive man she loves.
Theseus:
Remember how we danced the night away?
Hippolyta:
That passionate tango! Chwill I ever forget?
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SONG TWO – VENEZUELAN TANGO
Theseus & Hippolyta:
When we first met it was love at first sight.
Chorus:
Love at first sight!
Both:
When we first met we tangoed all night.
Chorus:
Tangoed all night.
Both:
We danced and danced till night turned to day.
Chorus:
Night turned to day.
Both:
Doing the tango the Venezuelan way.
Ole!
Chorus:
(As Hippolyta does a sensational tango with Theseus)
Hippolyta! Hippolyta!
That wild South American virago.
She didn’t meet her love in Venezuela,
But at an Internet Café in Chicago!
Both:
Chorus:
Both:
Chorus:
Theseus:
Chorus:
Theseus:
Chorus:
Hippolyta:
Chorus:
Hippolyta:
Chorus:
Both:
Chorus:
Both:
And we danced
They danced a fiery tango.
At that all-night Internet Café.
(Spoken) Café ole!
Downloading
Ah…
The music we wanted to play.
O.K.
Lots of sensual rhythms
Meant for dancing.
From salsa to mambo.
And romancing
But best of all
Best of all.
Was the Venezuelan tango!
Both:
Chorus:
Both:
Chorus:
Both:
Chorus:
Both:
All:
When we first met it was love at first sight.
Love at first sight!
When we first met tangoed all night.
Tangoed all night.
We danced and danced till night turned to day.
Night turned to day.
Doing the tango the Venezuelan way.
(Shout) Ole! (End of song)
(Enter LYSANDER and DEMETRIUS, two athletes, dressed in either running gear or
track suits)
Theseus:
Ah, my dear. May I present two of my best athletes. Thanks to the
Lottery funding I was able to secure for them, they are both finely tuned
instruments, and ready to bring Greece great glory. This is Demetrius.
Demetrius:
I intend to win the javelin at the games. (He strikes an “athletic”
pose)
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Hippolyta:
Caramba! Chwhat a physique! Mucho macho!
Lysander:
I am Lysander. The discus gold medal is mine. (He strikes a “discusthrower’s” pose. Hippolyta faints. Lysander and Demetrius revive
her)
Theseus:
(With a laugh) My dear, if you faint at one handsome athlete, what
would you do at our team parade?
(Enter EGEUS and HERMIA. [Note: Hermia is traditionally small, and Helena])
Egeus:
(Bowing) Happy be Theseus, our renowned Duke.
Theseus:
Thanks, good Egeus: what’s your news?
Egeus:
It’s my daughter Hermia. I have a formal complaint against her. I have
consented her marriage to Demetrius, who is rich and well connected.
But she’ll have none of it, and is smitten by this fellow Lysander, an
impoverished ruffian.
Hermia:
Who happens to be the leading discus-thrower in all Greece.
Theseus:
Surely it is for your daughter to choose, Egeus?
Egeus:
Nay, nay. I have the sole right to determine her future. It is written here
in the ancient Law of Athens. (He hands over a scroll to Theseus)
Theseus:
(Glances at the scroll) I can’t read this. It’s all Greek to me.
Hippolyta:
But, my love, you are Greek.
Theseus:
Egeus:
It’s in the Classical language. Can’t understand it.
I beg the ancient privilege of Athens:
As she is mine, I may dispose of her;
Which shall either be to this gentleman
Or to a nunnery, according to our Law.
Hippolyta:
A nunnery? Life chwithout men? Ees impossible!
Theseus:
Hippolyta:
Hermia, fair child, will you not abide by your fathers wishes? Demetrius
seems to me a worthy gentleman.
Chworthy? He’s drop-dead gorgeous!
Hermia:
So is Lysander.
Theseus:
You are so determined that you are ready to risk the penalty?
Banishment to a convent?
Hermia:
I am.
Theseus:
Take time to pause. Let you decision be made on my wedding day.
Demetrius:
Relent, sweet Hermia – and Lysander, give her up.
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Lysander:
You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia’s. I’ll marry
her – you can marry him. Besides, my Lord Theseus, it’s the talk of the
athlete’s village that Demetrius made love to Nedar’s daughter Helena.
And she’s now besotted with him.
Theseus:
Yes, I had heard tell – but affairs of state put it out of my mind.
However, that resolves nothing, and I charge you to resolve it among
yourselves, or I must apply this Law of Athens. And now, I must
prepare for my wedding. Egeus, Demetrius, come with me. I have need
of your services.
(Exit Theseus, Demetrius, and Egeus)
Hippolyta:
(To Hermia) Ah, my chid, always obey what your heart commands.
That is the chway it is with whomen. It is the chross we ‘ave to bear.
Adios. (She exits)
Lysander:
She is right. Take heart, Hermia, the course of true love never did run
smooth.
Hermia:
How can you quote Shakespeare when my heart is breaking?
Lysander:
I may have the solution, therefore hear me, Hermia.
Hermia:
A secret plan, Lysander? Then am I truly joyful.
Lysander:
I have widowed aunt who lives way up the other end of the M1 – and
out of the reach of the sharp Athenian law. If we marry, she will take us
in. So sneak away from your father’s house tomorrow night and we’ll
meet in Palace Wood about a mile out of town.
Hermia:
The Palace wood? Isn’t that supposed to be haunted?
Lysander:
Some say it is the home of immortals. But they would never harm us.
Come, Hermia, elope with me.
Hermia:
Elope! Oh, Lysander, how romantic! It’s like a dream come true.
Lysander:
I’m sure Shakespeare would never have used a cliché like that.
Hermia:
He would if he’d been a woman.
SONG THREE- DREAM ON
Hermia:
Lysander:
(Refrain) Dream on, when you dream on,
Then you hopes and wishes take wing.
Nothing can come between us and our love,
Or the sings that we sing.
Dream on, when you dream on,
All the best things happen to you.
And when you wake,
You may find there’s no mistake,
All your dreams have come true.
(The Chorus sing the Refrain, substituting “them and their love” while Lysander &
Hermia sing:-)
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Both:
And our love will last for ever.
For ever and a day.
For our love will be so strong,
No-one would dare
To take it away.
We’re in love, no need to hide it.
Love comes to everyone,
So dream on, dream on, dream on.
Chorus:
Dream on. Dream on.
Dream on. (End of song)
Lysander:
Ah, but look, here comes the unfortunate Helena.
(Enter HELENA)
Hermia:
God speed, fair Helena, whither away?
Helena:
You call me fair? You have a nerve. Demetrius loves you fair, he calls
you fair, he talks of nothing but you. You call that fair, when you
already have Lysander? What’s your secret, Hermia? O teach me how
you look, and with what art you sway the motions of Demetrius’ heart.
Hermia:
I frown upon him, yet he still loves, me.
Helena:
I love him, yet he frowns upon me.
Hermia:
I give him curses, yet he gives me love.
Helena:
I give him love, yet he curses me.
Hermia:
The more I hate him, the more he loves me.
Helena:
Hermia:
The more I love him, the more he hates me.
Take comfort: he no more shall see my face:
Lysander and myself shall fly this place.
Tomorrow night, Helena, we’re going to steal away to Palace Wood.
Lysander:
Hermia:
That very enchanted wood where we used to go for a gossip and girl
talk.
Lysander:
And from there…
Both:
We shall elope!
Helena:
Elope!
Hermia:
Farewell, sweet playfellow, and pray for us – oh, and good luck with
Demetrius! Farewell, Lysander, till tomorrow night.
Lysander:
(Exit Hermia)
Fare, Hermia. And Helena, adieu.
As you dote on him, may Demetrius dote on you.
(Exit Lysander)
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Helena:
Hmm. I must use this to my advantage. I will tell Demetrius of their
plan. He will pursue her, no doubt, but he will thank me for the news.
It’s a long shot, but I may yet claim his love. (Exits)
END OF SCENE ONE
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SCENE TWO
(Enter QUINCE the carpenter, SNUG the joiner, BOTTOM the weaver, FLUTE the
bellows-maker, SNOUT the tinker, and STARVELING the tailor. They can all be
dressed “Mummerset yokel”, i.e. smocks, boots, and corduroy or moleskin trousers,
tied at the knee with string of twine. Their accents should match their costume. NB
Pupils should be made aware that the title of the next song is a literary and theatrical
term for Shakespeare’s rough-and-ready artisans/ workers, who often provide the
“comic relief”.)
Sextet:
Chorus:
Sextet:
SONG FOUR – “RUDE MECHANICALS”
Rude mechanicals, that’s what they call us.
Let’s hear the Chorus…
(Spoken) Arr, oo-arr!
Rude mechanicals, proud of it too,
And we’re ready to be rude to you!
Chorus:
(While the Sextet do a rustic dance)
Rude mechanicals, that’s what we call them,
Let’s hear it for them!
(Spoken) Arr, oo-arr!
Rude mechanicals, proud of it too,
And they’re ready to be rude to you!
Sextet:
(While the Chorus softly sing: “Arr, oo-arr”)
Rough and ready we may be,
But did the likes of us you ever see?
Sextet:
Chorus:
Sextet:
All:
Quince:
La, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la.
Though some may say we’re crude as animals,
Rude mechanicals is what we are!
Oo-arr!
Rude mechanicals… (Chorus: Arr, oo-arr!)… is what we are!
Oo-arr! (End of song)
Is all our company here?
Other 5:
Arr!
Quince:
(Producing a script) I’ve just had this faxed to me. It’s the playlet
we’re going to present to the Duke and Duchess on their wedding day.
Bottom:
First, good Peter Quince, tell us what the play is, then read out the cast
list.
Quince:
Our play is the most lamentable tragedy, and most cruel death of
Pyramus and Thisbe.
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Bottom:
A very good work, I can assure you, and full of laughs. Now, good
Peter Quince, tell us our parts. Masters, spread yourselves. (The five
form a line)
Quince:
Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the Weaver.
Bottom:
Ready. Tell me my part.
Quince:
You are to play Pyramus.
Bottom:
What is Pyramus, a lover or a tyrant?
Quince:
A lover who kills himself most gallantly for love.
Bottom:
Perfect type casting. Just you see, when I play it, there won’t be a dry
eye in the house.
Snug:
You mean a dry seat. (Bottom glares at him)
Quince:
Francis Flute, the bellows-maker.
Flute:
Here, Peter quince.
Quince:
Flute, you must play Thisbe.
Flute:
What is this Thisbe, a wandering knight?
Quince:
It’s the lady Pyramus loves.
Flute:
Oh, don’t let me play a woman. I have a beard coming.
Quince:
Well, play it in a mask, and speak falsetto.
Bottom:
Let me play Thisbe. I’m good at drag, and I can speak falsetto. (Does
so) “Thisbe, Thisbe. Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear, thy Thisbe dear, and
Lady dear.”
Snug:
(Who shares a mutual dislike with Bottom) That’s about as feminine
as Saddam Hussein! (Bottom glares at him)
Quince:
No, no, you must play Pyramus, and Flute, you Thisbe.
Bottom:
Well, process.
Quince:
Robin Starveling, the tailor.
Starveling:
Here, Peter Quince.
Quince:
You play Thisbe’s mother. Tom Snout, the tinker.
Snout:
You, Pyramus’ father; myself Thisbe’s father; Snug the joiner, you the
Lion’s part: and there we have the play cast.
Snug:
Can you let me have the lion’s part now? I’m a slow study.
Bottom:
You can say that again. Last play we did, you had one line, and you
still forgot it in performance. (Snug glares at him)
Quince:
There are no lines. It’s just the odd roar.
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Bottom:
Let me play the Lion, too. I can roar like anything…
Quince:
Nick Bottom, you’d play every part if I let you. No, you can play no part
but Pyramus.
Bottom:
Well. I’ll undertake it. What beard should I play it in?
Quince:
What ever you like.
Bottom:
There’s your straw coloured beard, your orange tawny beard, your
perfect yellow beard, your…
Quince:
On second thoughts, it’s better clean-shaven. But masters, here are
you parts… (He hands them sheets of paper) and please learn them
by tomorrow night. We’ll meet in the Palace Wood, a while out of town.
Starveling:
Palace Wood? They do say strange things happen there.
Snug, Flute, Bottom and Snout:
Arr!
Quince:
It’s the best place to rehearse, for if we meet in the city, we’ll be
dogged by company, and everybody will get to know of it. In the
meantime, I’ll draw up a list of props. So I’ll see you all then.
Bottom:
And make sure you’re word perfect.
Snug:
(He roars. Like a lion) I shall be. (Bottom glares at him)
Sextet:
Bottom:
Snug:
Sextet:
SONG FIVE –REPRISE: “RUDE MECHANICALS”
Rude mechanicals, that’s what we are.
And I am their brightest star!
(Spoken) La, di, da!
(Sung) Though some may say we’re crude as animals,
Rude mechanicals is what we are!
Oo-arr! (End of song)
(They exit)
END OF SCENE TWO
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SCENE THREE – PALACE WOOD
(Enter ROBIN GOODFELLA and the two CORLEONE BROTHERS, LUIGI and GINO. All
are snappily dressed as Mafiosi, black suits, shirts and shoes, white ties, and black
fedora hats with white bands. They can also wear shades.)
(Luigi and Gino start off rap drumming beats, through mouth sounds. [NB if you are
unable to find actors capable of doing this, substitute either The Chorus doing it, or
if they find it too difficult, use either the CD backing track or the drummer playing ad
lib rap])
SONG SIX – “GOODFELLA”
Robin:
(Rapping) Like we’re heavy muscle from the Mob,
On hire to do some dude a job.
As you can see, we’re real tough guys –
Guess somebody’s in for a big surprise!
Well, these are the Corleone brothers,
And they’re so mean, they would rob their mothers.
This is Lugi, and this is Gino.
And they both want to be like Al Pacino!
Luigi:
Gino:
Both:
Al Pacino!
Al Pacino!
Al, Al, Al, Al Pachino!
Robin:
Compared to them, I’m sweet Cinderella,
Yes I really am a Goodfella,
Robin Goodfella!
There’s a geek by the name of Oberon,
Who asked for me to get the job done.
Don’t know why it’s me he should seek,
Maybe it’s because I speak Greek!
All:
Well, it ain’t bad for a Jack the Lad like me,
From a slum in Napoli.
I used to be an ice cream seller,
But now I’m regular Goodfella,
Robin Goodfella!
Yeh! (End of Rap)
Robin:
Luigi:
O.k. youse guys, vamoose. Take a hike.
Hey, we just got here.
Robin:
This Oberon is an old buddy of mine. It’s me he’s asked for, not a
couple of muscle-bound thugs.
Gino:
Gee, tanks. It ain’t often we get compliments.
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Robin:
Take a break. Go see Greece.
Luigi:
Seen it. Had that John Ravioli guy in it.
Gino:
I preferred him in Pulp Fiction.
Luigi:
Come on, Gino. Let’s see what the local broads are like.
Gino:
You got it.
Both:
Ciao.
(They exit. Mouth-rapping, or to ad-lib drums or backing track.)
MUSIC SIX A
Robin:
To think I’ve had the intellectual stimulus of their company all the way
from Naples! But, hey, sounds like there’s an army coming this way. I’d
better make myself scarce.
(He hides. Enter THE FAIRIES OF OBERON and TITANIA)
(Titania’s fairies are standard female fairies. Oberon’s fairies are BOY FAIRIES
dressed either in dungarees, braces and boots, [with wings and optional head
dresses] or – if bold enough! – in female fairy attire. During the song, Titania’s dance
prettily and gracefully. Oberon’s fairies don’t…)
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Song Seven – “Pretty Little Fairies”
Pretty fairies, oh so neat.
Pretty fairies, oh so neat.
Fairies, light upon their feet.
Fairies, light upon their feet.
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Tripping, skipping, round we go.
Trip! trip! trip!
Strip we then the mistletoe.
Strip! strip! strip!
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Girl Fairies:
Boy Fairies:
Dancing round our fairy ring,
Dancing round our fairy ring,
We’re as cute as anything.
We’re as cute as anything.
We’re as dainty as can be.
Dainty as can be.
Pretty little fairies
Pretty little fairies
Pretty little fairies
Pretty little fairies
Pretty little fairies
Are we! (End of song)
A boy Fairy:
A Girl Fairy:
Fairies of Oberon, prepare to greet your king!
Fairies of Titania, prepare to greet your Queen.
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(Fanfare/Processional [Music Eight])
(Enter OBERON and TITANIA)
Oberon:
Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania.
Titania:
What, still jealous, Oberon?
Oberon:
Jealous? Why should I be?
Titania:
Have you forgotten you and I were an item once?
Girl Fairies:
Ooo! (The upwards inflection “Ooo”)
Oberon:
Once. Then you got the hots for Theseus.
Boy Fairies:
Ey oop! (Or local expression)
Titania:
So? You fancied Hippolyta.
Girl Fairies:
Ooo!
Titania:
Do I detect some hidden agenda?
Oberon:
Alright, I’ll come to the point. Your accountant.
Titania:
Ah, yes. Indian lad. Quite brilliant. What about him?
Oberon:
I want him. Mine’s been fiddling the books. So, if you just hand him
over, I’m prepared to let bygones be bygones.
Titania:
You’ve got a nerve.
Oberon:
You refuse?
Titania:
I took him on when he was a penniless asylum seeker. I brought him
up, I had him trained. Do you think I’d let him go now? Not on your life.
Oberon:
Let me have him and I’ll be good to you.
Titania:
The only thing you’re good for is nothing.
Oberon:
We were in love once. We could be again.
Titania:
In your dreams.
SONG NINE- “YOU FANCY ME”
Titania:
Oberon:
Titania:
Oberon:
(Refrain) You’re the fly in the ointment,
You’re the sting in the bee.
That’s a big disappointment,
But I know you fancy me!
You’re the fear in the flying,
You’re never win my heart.
You’re my Number One fan –
I knew it from the start!
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Titania:
Oberon:
You’re the worm in the apple,
You’re the overcharged fee.
Come along, then, let’s grapple,
For I know you fancy me.
(The Fairies “la” the first two sections of the Refrain while Titania and Oberon sing:-)
Titania:
Oberon:
Titania:
Oberon:
You’re the nightmare that makes every girl scream.
I’ve been told that I’m the thinking girl’s dream!
I don’t need you, get that into your head.
Don’t believe you. Bet you wish we were wed.
(Fairies tacet while Titania and Oberon sing:-)
Titania:
Girl Fairies:
Oberon:
Boy Fairies:
Titania:
Rather than marry you,
I’d ride naked through the street.
(Spoken) Ooo!
If that’s what you must do,
Then give us all a treat!
(Spoken) Ey opp! (Or local expression)
Oberon:
Titania:
You’re the slug in the lettuce,
You’re the rot in the tree.
We could kiss, if you’d let us,
For I know you fancy me!
Shakespeare said, as a poet,
They’re in love, and don’t know it.
I know you really fancy me!
(Spoken) Yeuck! (End of song)
Oberon:
Well, we shall see.
Titania:
By fair means or foul?
Oberon:
Exactly.
Titania:
Not this time, Oberon. Not ever, never, not even if you offered me the
earth and the moon.
Oberon:
You sound undecided.
Titania:
Look, just forget it. And forget any thoughts of us getting back together.
Goodbye.
Oberon:
You’re leaving?
Titania:
If I stay a moment monger, I shall lose my temper, and we’ll have a
blazing row, which will bring on my migraine. You’re despicable and I
hate you! (She flounces out)
Oberon:
Fairies:
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Oberon:
(Mimicking) You’re despicable and I hate you! In woman’s talk that
means she still loves me. (To the Fairies) All right, you lot, buzz off!
(The Fairies exit, buzzing) All that lot to support and my funds
embezzled! You can see why I need Titania’s accountant. (Robin
Goodfella comes out of hiding)
Robin:
Hey, Oberon!
Oberon:
Robin Goodfella!
Robin:
Give us five! (They do “high fives” back and front) Good to see you,
man.
Oberon:
You, too. You should come over more often. How’s AC Milan doing?
Robin:
Down the tubes.
Oberon:
So, you heard what I was saying? Then you know why I need
your…special talents.
Robin:
You want me to kidnap her accountant, right?
Oberon:
Wrong. Well, right in away, but nothing so crude and physical.
Robin:
Shame. Crude and physical is my bag.
Oberon:
As king of the Fairies, I can’t be seen to be condoning any kind of
sleaze…
Robin:
Unlike many Prime Ministers.
Oberon:
Quite. But you’re renowned in Fairy mythology as the ace mischief
maker, the Lord of misrule.
Robin:
Hey, man, you’re only as big as your last job.
Oberon:
This job couldn’t be simpler. There’s a little flower, called love-inidleness, which only grows in Western Europe. The juice of that flower,
when dropped on sleeping eyelids will make a man or woman madly
dote on the next living creature that it sees. I want you to fetch me this
herb – and be back in less than an hour.
Robin:
Impossible, even with my private jet.
Oberon:
Use you Fairy powers, Robin.
Robin:
Of course. I was forgetting. So used to stretch limos, got to kinda prefer
them.
Oberon:
When you return, it’s best if you use a Fairy name – Goodfella can be a
bit intimidating, not to say incriminating. I shall call you Puck.
Robin:
Puck! What kinda name is that? Got no street cred, man.
Oberon:
You’ll find it has in this neck of the woods. And now, go.
Robin:
Oberon:
I’ll put a girdle round the earth in forty minutes. (Exits)
Once I have this juice,
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I’ll watch Titania, and when she is asleep,
Drop the liquor of it on her eyes.
And when she wakes, the next thing she looks upon,
Be it lion, bear, wolf, or bull,
She shall pursue it, with the soul of love.
And before I take this charm off her,
Which I can so with another herb,
I’ll make her give up her gifted Indian lad to me.
But who comes here? I am invisible,
And will overhear their conference.
(Enter Demetrius, Helena following him)
Demetrius:
Look, I’ve told you I don’t love you, so stop stalking me. And where are
Lysander and Hermia? I’ll slay one, the other slays me. You said they’d
be here in this in this wood. It’s Hermia I came for, so clear off, and
stop following me.
Helena:
Then stop being so attractive. How can I help but follow you?
Demetrius:
The plain truth is, I don’t love you, and never can.
Helena:
That makes me love you even more. I can’t help myself. If you were to
treat me like a dog, I’d still follow you.
Demetrius:
Don’t tempt me. For I feel sick when I look at you.
Helena:
And I feel sick when I can’t look at you.
Demetrius:
You forget, I’m highly trained Olympic athlete. I’ll run away, and you’ll
never catch me. But the wild beast here would.
Helena:
Oh, very gallant!
Demetrius:
That’s me – a chauvinist and a coward. I have bad habits. I snore. I’m a
bully. You want nothing to do with me.
Helena:
Oh, but I do.
SONG TEN –“ THE ROUNDABOUT OF LOVE”
Demetrius & Helena:
(Verse) Is there no end to all this madness that rules our life?
Is there no end to all the sadness it brings?
Just when you think you’re safe
From the roundabout of love,
It creeps up on you,
And knocks you out with its swings.
Helena:
Demetrius:
Chorus:
(Refrain) If you’d only let yourself see
How I love you, then you’d love me.
There is nothing that you can do,
Nothing you can ever do to make me love you.
If you’d only let yourself see
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