I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 1 of 7
NASDAQ
5,058 +28.54 +0.57%
○
○
○
26
LATEST
NEWS
∠ ∠
2:19 P.M. ET
2:18 P.M. ET
2:07 P.M. ET
2:03 P.M. ET
1:58 P.M. ET
OPINION
UPDATED
Why media attacks on Trump fail
It’s cheaper to rent a home than buy in just eight U.S. states
Vivendi against boosts stake in Ubisoft
UPDATED
Stocks struggle to hold gains as Dow eyes fresh closing high
Key Republican skeptical of lame-duck Pacific trade vote
Log In
Home ∠ Personal Finance ∠ The Moneyologist
GET EMAIL ALERTS
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000
to each of my sons
By Quentin Fottrell
Published: July 8, 2016 12:07 p.m. ET
26
Her only daughter has health problems and spiraling debts
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 2 of 7
Share
Dear Moneyologist,
Before they passed, my parents gave me, either directly or through inheritance, a bit more than $200,000. My husband and I
are near retirement and are fully funded through a 403(b) plan savings accounts, savings bonds, individual retirement accounts
and credit default swaps. Besides giving some to charity, I want to give our sons a one-time gift of $7,000 each; they both own
homes and have good jobs.
But I want to favor my daughter, who married last year, and has little chance of ever getting a home if we don’t kick in for a
down payment. She has incurred a lot of debt due to the financial strain of a sick pet, a car loan, student loan and an unpaid
military home loan. She and her husband are both 30 and work full time.
We gave my daughter and her husband money to pay off their credit card bill. Next, I want to give each of them $7,000 this
year, and let them wait for their credit score to improve. I will add that our daughter is extremely obese, and I worry about her
losing her job due to disability in the future due to ill health. Are there any pitfalls in my plan that I’m not seeing?
Advertisement
Marilyn in Wisconsin
Dear Marilyn,
Everyone wants their kids to be happy. You are clearly a kind and generous mother who wants to help her children with this
financial windfall. I can see why you would like to give your daughter, who has struggled with serious issues in recent years,
more money than your sons. Of all the problems your daughter has grappled with — a car loan, unpaid military home loan,
extreme obesity, student loan and an unsustainable credit card bill — the sick pet is probably the only one that was completely
out of her control.
Everyone wants their kids to be happy, but your goal should be
to help your daughter stand on her own two feet.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 3 of 7
Your letter reminds me of the mother who gave her troubled son $25,000 a year. Her husband was concerned that she was
creating disharmony in the family by showing preferential treatment, rewarding or, at the very least, reinforcing co-dependent
behavior. The situation raised some serious questions: What would happen after the parents passed away? And when the
money eventually ran out? What if the parents needed financial assistance for their own health problems?
Listen: Catey Hill and Quentin Fottrell’s podcast Money, Markets & More(on iTunes): Buy a condo in San Francisco for
$168,000and When the best man forgets to bring a wedding gift.
There is a risk of sounding judgmental, so I asked Joe Heider, president at Cirrus Wealth Management, a financial advisory firm
based in Cleveland, for a second opinion. “It sounds more like a scenario of undisciplined spending,” he says. “If your concern is
that your daughter may lose her job for health reasons, then how will they pay for a home that is dependent on both their dual
income?” If you do buy her a home, Heider says, keep it in your name and charge her rent.
Don’t miss: My incarcerated brother is bleeding my mother-in-law dry
Your goal should be to help her stand on her own two feet. You could give any extra money to her in the form of a loan; it may
help alleviate any resentment among your sons, but — based on her past behavior — I don’t see your daughter paying it back.
That could also create further pressure for your daughter. A real solution would come in the form of a financial plan, hiring an
adviser to go over your daughter’s finances, and even therapy and/or a nutritionist to help her with her health issues.
Tough love will help your daughter. Throwing more money at this problem will not.
More from the Moneyologist
I give my son money and his wife gives it to her church
Should I invite my father to my gay wedding?
How can my husband and I collect $175,000 we loaned a beloved friend?
MOST POPULAR
Turkey needs a
stronger economy, and
that requires a truce
with the Kurds
What to expect from
Netflix earnings
Law and order to be
emphasis of Republican
convention
Sorry, Trump
supporters, but the U.S.
economy needs more
immigrants
If you believe in the
‘Trump rally,’ then you
must love Obama
MORTGAGE RATES
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 4 of 7
*/ var ratetablesmodern = angular.module("ratetablesmodern",
['common','GeoFactory','MortgageRatesFactory','LoanamountFactory','MarketsFactory']) .controller('Ctrl',function
($scope,$filter,$sce,$q,$http,$window,GeoData,MortgageRatesData,LoanamountData,MarketsData) { //load evironment config -- this
file is used to load the configuration object: /Affiliate Center/Avalon/widgets.bankrate.com-dev/js/services/envconfig.js $scope.$watch
(function(){return $window.bankrateEnvConfig;}, function(){ $scope.bankrateEnvConfig = $window.bankrateEnvConfig; });
$scope.$watch('clientconfigid',function(){ $scope.attr = config.tcfg[$scope.clientconfigid]; $scope.isMobile = false;
$scope.isMtgArmProd = false; $scope.technicaldifficulties = false; $scope.mtgvalidsearch = true; $scope.attr.poweredby =
$scope.attr.poweredby || "text"; //mortgage points map var points_map = {'Zero': '0', 'ZeroToOne': '1', 'OneToTwo': '2', 'All': 'All', '3':
'All'}; //function to reset sorting to default state $scope.resetSorting = function() { //sort rates rows $scope.mtgOrderByAttribute =
'defaultSort'; $scope.mtgReverse = false; }; //reset rates sort on load $scope.resetSorting(); //Template in use $scope.attr.template =
$scope.attr.template|| "mortgage-modern"; //function called to sort rates based on the selected sorting option $scope.sortRates =
function(orderBy, direction) { if ( direction == 'asc' ) { $scope.mtgReverse = false; } else if ( direction == 'desc' ) { $scope.mtgReverse
= true; } $scope.mtgOrderByAttribute = orderBy; }; //available fico scores for search $scope.ficoscores = { "660|679": {name:"660 679",order:1}, "680|699": {name:"680 - 699",order:2}, "700|719": {name:"700 - 719",order:3}, "720|739": {name:"720 - 739",order:4},
"740|1000": {name:"740+",order:5} }; //available percent downs for search $scope.percentdowns = { "5": {name:"5% down",order:1},
"10": {name:"10% down",order:2}, "15": {name:"15% down",order:3}, "20": {name:"20% down",order:4}, "25": {name:"25%
down",order:5}, "30": {name:"30% down",order:6}, "40": {name:"40% down",order:7} }; //mtg regular prods $scope.regProdArr = new
Array('1', '387', '2', '388', '8', '6', '9', '10', '389', '390', '565', '216', '392', '215', '393', '218', '219', '220', '221', '425', '426'); //mtg jumbo
prods $scope.jumboPrArr = new Array('4', '4', '165', '165', '460', '7', '462', '508', '461', '391', '4', '222', '222', '223', '223', '480', '482',
'224', '512', '481', '394'); //mtg regular to jumbo prods map var mtgRegToJumboMap = {'1':'4', '387':'4', '2':'165', '388':'165', '8':'460',
'6':'7', '9':'462', '10':'508', '389':'461', '390':'391', '565':'4', '216':'222', '392':'222', '215':'223', '393':'223', '218':'480', '219':'224', '220':'482',
'221':'512', '425':'481', '426':'394'}; //all Mortgage ARM prods $scope.mtgArmProdArr = new Array('8', '6', '9', '10', '389', '390', '7', '462',
Powered by
OTHER NEWS
FROM OUR PARTNERS
2% Cash Back Rewards Card
SmartAsset.com
1% APY Money Market - Top National Rate w/o Fees
SmartAsset.com
This Summer's Top Rewards Card for Spending
SmartAsset.com
The #1 Credit Card for Retirement Points
SmartAsset.com
P2P Lending: The Uber of the Financial Industry
EvenFinancial.com
TODAY'S
DATA PROVIDED BY
INTEREST RATES
Mortgage
Equity Savings
Auto Credit Cards
30 yr fixed Jumbo
4.37%
30 yr fixed
3.42%
15 yr fixed
2.69%
10 yr fixed
2.77%
30 yr fixed refi
3.42%
15 yr fixed refi
2.68%
5/1 ARM
2.96%
5/1 ARM refi
3.03%
National averages from Bankrate.com
MARKETWATCH
PARTNER CENTER
∠
∠
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 5 of 7
SPONSORED FINANCIAL CONTENT
Brexit: A shock for markets, or a
crisis?
J.P. Morgan Funds
4 Ways to Avoid Running Out of Money During Retirement. Download
Now!
Fisher Investments
Donald Trump's Advice For Paying Off Mortgage (It's
Genius!)
Bills.com
Learn to trade Commodities for
Free
Commodity Page
WE WANT TO
HEAR FROM YOU
Join the conversation
COMMENT
QUENTIN
FOTTRELL
Quentin Fottrell is a news editor and The Moneyologist
columnist for MarketWatch. You can follow him on Twitter
@quantanamo.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
Page 6 of 7
SPONSORED RESULTS
1. Reverse Mortgage Calculator
5. Retirement Planning Estimator
2. Retirement Planning
6. Paying Off Debt Fast
3. High Dividend Index Funds
7. High Yield Investments
4. 10 Best Savings Accounts
8. Ways to Invest in Gold
Advertisement
26 comments
5 PEOPLE LISTENING
Share
+ Follow
NEWEST
|
OLDEST
January Smith
4 days ago
Did Quentin just advise that she give a LOAN to a family member? Awful advice. It sounds like the daughter has made a series of poor choices both
physical and financial. She has neither the means nor discipline to repay and giving her free money won't solve anything. I'd offer to pay for some
personal finance classes and leave the "gifts" until after I die. Why on earth would I reward the child who displays the least amount of financial
discipline?She can inherit an equal share along with her siblings and be happy that she received anything. If she hasn't shaped up by that late stage
in life, then I'd probably set up a trust that pays her a fixed amount per month after my death rather than a lump sum.
Jack Janpour from Facebook
8 days ago
Buy her health insurance and that's it.
Maritza Oldfather from Facebook
9 days ago
Interesting perspective . Yes, what happens when the mom passes and the money runs out? Teaching a child to be responsible and make good
decisions is the most loving thing a parent can do.
Show More Comments
Powered by Livefyre
OPINION BOARD
REAL ESTATE
PERSONAL FINANCE
REAL ESTATE
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016
I want to give $14,000 to my daughter and $7,000 to each of my sons - MarketWatch
This is your chance to
help make MarketWatch
even better (and win
$1,000)
The hottest outdoor home
features—and what they
cost
This is how much time
obesity cuts off your life
View More
View More
Page 7 of 7
Sbarro pizza-chain scion
lists Hamptons home for
$32 million
View More
View More
SPONSORED HEADLINES
Donald Trump's Advice
For Paying Off Mortgage
(It's Genius!)
Beginners Guide to
Trading Options Shows
How To Make $59,590
Ron Paul: Ready For
Financial Martial Law? It's
Coming…
Bills.com
Profits Run
Stansberry Research
MARKETWATCH
COMPANY
DOW JONES NETWORK
Site Index
Company Info
WSJ.com
Topics
Code of Conduct
Barron's Online
Help
Corrections
BigCharts
Feedback
Advertising Media Kit
Virtual Stock Exchange
Newsroom Roster
Advertise Locally
Financial News Online
Media Archive
Reprints & Licensing
WSJ.com Small Business
Premium Products
Broker Center
realtor.com
Mobile
Your Ad Choices
Mansion Global
Brexit: A shock for
markets, or a crisis?
"DOW 50,000" is all but
set in stone...
J.P. Morgan Funds
The Sovereign Society
Back to Top
Copyright ©2016 MarketWatch, Inc. All rights reserved.
By using this site you agree to the Terms of Service, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy.
Intraday Data provided by SIX Financial Information and subject to terms of use. Historical and current end-of-day data provided by SIX Financial Information. Intraday data delayed per
exchange requirements. S&P/Dow Jones Indices (SM) from Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All quotes are in local exchange time. Real time last sale data provided by NASDAQ. More
information on NASDAQ traded symbols and their current financial status. Intraday data delayed 15 minutes for Nasdaq, and 20 minutes for other exchanges. S&P/Dow Jones Indices
(SM) from Dow Jones & Company, Inc. SEHK intraday data is provided by SIX Financial Information and is at least 60-minutes delayed. All quotes are in local exchange time.
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/i-want-to-give-14000-to-my-daughter-and-7000-to-eac... 7/18/2016