Mary Chapin Carpenter
Ashes and Roses
1. Transcendental Reunion 4:47
2. What To Keep And What To Throw Away 4:33
3. The Swords We Carried 4:05
4. Another Home 4:29
5. Chasing What's Already Gone 4:57
6. Learning The World 4:30
7. I Tried Going West 4:16
8. Don't Need Much to Be Happy 4:22
9. Soul Companion 4:00
10. Old Love 4:44
11. New Years Day 4:56
12. Fading Away 4:19
13. Jericho 4:01
Thank you Matt Rollings, Chuck Ainlay, Russ Kunkel, Glenn Worf and Duke Levine, my
musical comrades.
Thank you James for being a soul companion.
Thank you Chris Tetzeli for your steadfast support, Bodie Johnson and everyone at Red Light
Management; John Virant, Brad Paul, Scott Billington, Jennifer Sacca, Jim Horan and Paul
Langton at Zoë/Rounder; Carla Sacks and Asha Goodman of Sacks & Co.; Lynn Cingari, Dan
Weiner and Sara Bollwinkel at Paradigm; David Boyer, Brandon James, Jason Leiss, Mary Ann
McCready and everyone at Flood, Bumstead, McCready and McCarthy; Michael Milom of
Milom, Joyce, Horsnell and Crow.
Thank you D’addario Strings; Shure; Mac McAnally and Kim Keys for your beautiful singing;
Eric Darken; Maria Smoot; Gary Nicholson; John Deaderick; Jeff Taylor; Steve and Katina
Robertson; Paula Hawley; Catherine Snow, Doug Knight, and the staff of the Mulberry House,
Nashville TN.; Jane Muckle; Paloma and Luca Rollings.
Thank you Laura Daly and Kathy Stone for taking such good care of the folks at home.
My love and thanks to:
My family; Marti Jones; Tim Cornish; Robin and Linda Williams; Eliza Gilkyson; Alex Orfinger
and Calvert Bowie; Shawn Colvin; Carolyn Rosenfeld; Dan and Lou Jordan; my road family:
Don Dixon, Jim Henry, Marcus Douglas, John Jennings, Jon Carroll, Vince Santoro, Chris
Ferrari, Jac Schneider; my Montana family; William Campbell; Trina Burke; Mary Beth
Aungier; Wendy Franklin; Lucy Goeke; Sally Truitt; Shannon Worrell ~ my friends, I would be
lost without you.
Produced By Matt Rollings and Mary Chapin Carpenter
Recorded and Mixed By Chuck Ainlay
Additional Engineer: Brandon Schexnayder
Assistant Engineer: Kam Luchterhand
Recorded at Sound Stage Studios, Nashville, TN
Overdubs at Ronnie¹s Place, Nashville, TN
Mixed at Sound Stage Studios, Nashville, TN
Mastering Engineer: Bob Ludwig
Mastered at Gateway Mastering, Portland, ME
Cover photo by Russ Harrington
Art Design by Larissa Collins
Makeup and Hair by Maria Smoot, The Mirror
Stylist: Kim Rosen Perrett
Management: Chris Tetzeli, Red Light Management
Transcendental Reunion
Drums Russ: Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B3: Matt Rollings
Mandocello and Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Percussion: Eric Darken
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally
From 20,000 feet
I saw the lights below me
twinkling just like Christmas
we descended slowly
and the curve of the world passed
with all of that flying
above the mighty ocean
and now we all are arriving
grab the carry on baggage
join the herd for the mad run
take a place in the long line
where does every one come from?
as we shuffle on forward
as we wait for inspection
don’t be holding that line up
at the end lies redemption
Oh Oh, Hey Hey, Ah Ah
Now I’m stamped and I’m waved through
I take up my position
at the mouth of the cannon
saying prayers of contrition
please deliver my suitcase
from all mischief and peril
now the sight of it circling
is a hymn to the faithful
Forgive me for my staring, for my unconcealed envy
in the Hall of Arrivals where the great river empties
it’s hand carts and porters
all the people it carries
to be greeted with flowers
grandfathers and babies
Oh Oh, Hey Hey, Ah Ah
There is no one to meet me
yet I’m all but surrounded
by the tears and embracing
by the joy unbounded
the friends and relations
leaping over hemispheres
transcendental reunion
all borders vanish here
We are travelers traveling
we are gypsies together
we’re philosophers gathering
we are business or pleasure
we are going or coming
we’re just finding our way
to the next destination
and from night into day
Oh Oh, Hey Hey, Ah Ah,
Oh Oh, Hey Hey, Ah Ah
In a giant bird’s belly
I flew over the ocean
from 20,000 feet high
how those lights were glowing
What To Keep And What To Throw Away
Drums and Tambourine: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B3: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
These are your instructions
should you choose to follow
sit down with pen and paper
begin with something hollow
like the last words that he offered
no kind of explanation
they only take up space here
you do not need to save them
open up the closet
find his winter coat there
check inside the pockets
find a crumpled note there
it says “milk and Sunday paper”
and a heart smudged in blue ink
fold it up and box it before you’ve time to think
Sundays are the hardest
avoid familiar back roads
erase the old phone numbers
delete all the photos
and those you haven’t heard from
will come as no surprise
they made their calculation
when they chose a side
these are your instructions
when you become reclusive
when old friends say they miss you
when sleep becomes elusive
fill up every journal
empty every shoebox
burn the lists and letters
sweep out all the old thoughts
shake off all the covers
throw every window open
stand here in your bare feet
welcome in the morning
these are your instructions
when grace has left you stranded
when you are lost and wounded
bleeding and abandoned
Use a tourniquet for pressure
let time do it’s healing
say prayers for good measure
when you think you’ve lost all feeling
Now walk into the guest room
the last place he was sleeping
see the outline on the pillow
smooth it without weeping
one last final walk through
now move the bags and boxes
from front porch onto back seat
haul away the losses
these are your instructions
if you choose to follow
stop and take a big breath
begin with something hollow….
The Swords We Carried
Drums: Russ Kunkel
Upright Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano: Matt Rollings
Resonator and Electric Guitars: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally
Back when I believed in luck
and stones & crosses
I’d put a coin found on the street
towards cosmic losses
and passing graveyards in a car
tracing every falling star
luck was never very far from childhood causes
And pennies kissed with wishes arced into the fountains
And time was said to heal all pain
and hope move mountains
and all that could befall a heart
or break this perfect life apart
the swords we carried could not do a thing about them
Away I am going, away I am gone
Ghosts and angels are but memories and visions
and revenants are out there taking up positions
but back when I believed in you
You’d raise the sun and set the moon
how could I help but love you holy as religion
Away you are going, away you are gone
But back when I believed in luck and words as spoken
I found a lie could break and split the world clean open
and grief became my company
pain so deep I could not breathe
all betrayal is like dying in slow motion
Is it luck that makes us shout or makes us whisper
Is it luck that makes us wise or turns us bitter
with our maps that point true north
with our vows we sally forth
the swords we carried can’t protect us from eachother
Away we are going
Away we are gone
Away we are going
Away we are gone
Another Home
Drums: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B-3: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Percussion: Eric Darken
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally
There’s another home somewhere
there’s another glimpse of sky
there’s another place unlearned
and a face not memorized
there’s another quilt of green
where the trees throw down their shade
there’s another way to lean
into the wind unafraid
There’s another life out there
beyond your quiet room
use dead reckoning
the sky, the stars and the moon
there’s another storm to chase
there’s another bridge to burn
there’s nothing perfect here
another lesson to learn
There were days I gave into losing
empty spaces of my own choosing
there were nights I forgot to hold on
so I let go, I had to let go
There’s another home somewhere
that I close my eyes to see
I will find you there
You will know it’s me
by my shield and sword
by my soldier’s heart
we made it through the war
we made another start
just beyond the trees
not so far I swear
there’s another turn that leads
towards another home somewhere
Chasing What’s Already Gone
Drums: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B-3: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar and Mandolin: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Percussion and Cajon: Eric Darken
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally and Kim Keys
There’s a big white house on a leafy street
on a summer’s day in 1963
a station wagon’s parked in the drive
with dents in the fender and wood on the side
there’s kids and dogs in instamatic hues
squinting hard in the sun
not just yet but one day too
they’ll be chasing what’s already gone
You grow up tall and you grow up tough
try to never admit not feeling good enough
they tell you find your passion then you’ll find your way
I’m just trying to make it unscathed through every day
and seems to happen nearly overnight
life shows you who you’ve become
when there’s no more mystery in the fading light
you’re just chasing what’s already gone
Like the line that spells the far horizon
moving with you as fast as you can run
half your life you pay it no attention
the rest you can’t stop wondering
what you should have done
instead of chasing what’s already gone
I saw my father in a dream last night
he was smiling and saying you’re going to be alright
and this morning I stared back at myself
feeling as empty as I’ve ever felt
but I keep on going and I hope I’ve learned
more of what’s right than what’s wrong
it’s ashes and roses and time that burns
when you’re chasing what’s already gone
Ashes and roses and hearts that break
I tried so hard to be strong
It may be my worst but not my first mistake
Chasing what’s already gone
Learning The World
Foot and Shaker: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Percussion: Eric Darkin
Grief rides quietly on the passenger side
unwanted company on a long, long drive
it turns down the quiet songs and turns up the din
it goes where you go, it’s been where you’ve been
And pushing your empty cart mile after mile
leaves you weeping in the wilderness
of the supermarket aisle
and in the late night kitchen light it sits in a chair
watching you pretend that it’s not really there
But it is, so it is and you ask
are you predator or friend
the future or the past?
It hands you your overcoat and opens the door
you are learning the world again just as before
but the first time was childhood
and now you are grown
broken wide open, cut to the bone
And all that you used to know is of no use at all
the same eyes you’ve always had have you walking into walls
and the same heart can’t understand
why it’s so hard to feel
what used to be true
what’s now so unreal
but it is, so it is and you say
I wish I were the wind so that I could blow away
Grief sits silently on the edge of your bed
it’s closing your eyes, it’s stroking your head
the dear old companion is taking up air
watching you pretend that it’s not really there
I Tried Going West
Drums and Percussion: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano, B3 and Accordion: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar and Mandolin: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Shaker and Bass Drum: Eric Darken
Background Vocals: Mac McAnnaly
I tried going west where the sky meets the sun
Where the edge of the world’s always been
As far from this place as a girl gets to run
When her reasons to stay have worn thin
Out there the days were so bright and so blue
Yet I missed all my thunder and rain
The way a storm punctures a hot afternoon
washing away every stain
When my maps pointed north they were calling for snow
to cover all sound and all sight
tell me where on this earth does all that noise go
underneath all of that white
With thaws scarcely mentioned I dug out my truck
by the time the storm cleared I was gone
back on the road with the radio up
singing at the top of my lungs
Driving and crying and driving some more
oh the south is a good place to hide
hot nights, cold beer and creaky screen doors
and a motel’s vacancy sign
A letter a day I wrote back home to you
but not one you ever received
because I can’t stand a man who lies like you do
and I can’t bear a woman who pleads
One day it dawned I had run out of road
and out of reasons to run
Like a horse to the barn I was hell bent to go
as fast going back as I’d come
Home, home was the song that I sang
as I pulled in just before dark
there was only a hook where your coat used to hang
that’s where I hung up my heart
I tried going west, where the sky meets the sun
Don’t Need Much To Be Happy
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally
Don’t need much to be happy
four walls and a roof overhead
books and food in my belly
cool sheets upon the bed
A fire that warms up December
The sound of a thaw in the eaves
sometimes it’s hard to remember
how tough we are to please
All in good time
somehow I find
days that still shine with light
all in good stead
I’m safe and I’m fed
with dreams in my head
good night
The feel of my hand being taken
driving at night all alone
the breeze on a warm summer evening
and coming home
All in good time
somehow you find
days that still shine with light
all in good stead
You’re safe and you’re fed
with dreams in your head
good night
Don’t need much to be happy
a friend to soften a fall
and something to show for my labors
after all
I had to learn to be grateful
I had to learn how to see
mistakes that might have proved fatal
are gifts I now receive
Soul Companion
Drums and Percussion: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B3: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Acoustic Guitar: James Taylor
Percussion: Eric Darken
Duet Vocal and Harmonies: James Taylor
All of our dreams are laid out and measured
arrows and pins and a rainbow of threads
like hope on a string, sewn into the linings
for the courage to face the unknown ahead
My soul companion
out in the world somewhere
my soul companion
I’ll meet you there
I’m packing my compass, trusted and tested
my dog-eared maps to study and fold
into a pocket, I’m traveling light now
all that we have is all that we hold
My soul companion
in my heart you are
my soul companion
just like a star
There are no borders, there are no boundaries
there are no fences up around me
but I get quiet and I get lonely
just like everyone
These are the old roads, these are the stations
I look for my ride, you wait for your train
these are the chances, a life’s incantations
these are the places that don’t know our names
My soul companion
love finds its own way in
my soul companion
now let us begin
my soul companion
out in the world somewhere
my soul companion
I’ll meet you there
Old Love
Drums and Percussion: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and Harmonium: Matt Rollings
National Resonator and Electric Guitars: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Background Vocals: Mac McAnally
I want old love, the kind that takes years
to turn to gold, love, burnished and seared
on the high wire, by rain, wind and sun
with the hard times forgiven and done
I want old love, the kind that seeps in
it isn’t cold, love, it’s never brittle or thin
it’s the long kiss, it’s the curl of a sigh
down a hallway, in the middle of the night
I want old love, the kind that can see
through the holes, love, that live underneath
all our false cheer, bravado and pride
through the old fears we carry inside
I want old love, the kind that can say
what it knows, love, and what it learned on the way
in that one voice, familiar and strange
only old love remembers your name
I want old love, the kind that holds on
when it’s told, love, that all hope is gone
against all odds, wagers and prayers
to the wall love, to the furthest somewhere
I want old love, the kind that takes years
to turn to gold, love, burnished and seared
on the high wire, by rain, wind and sun
with the hard times forgiven and done
New Years Day
Drums: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano: Matt Rollings
Electric Guitar: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
Glockenspiel: Eric Darken
We are sitting at a table in a bar in Baltimore
it’s the last night of December
and the room is nearly full
and the front door pulls a draft in every time it opens wide
and you are telling me a story
from another time and life
And the waitress brings our order
and we’re tucked in mighty close
and I feel like we belong among
the living and these ghosts
and I know that I am dreaming
as I memorize each part
in the telling lies a reverie
in the details lie the heart
Like the folds of summer dresses
like the scent upon my wrist
like the way you played guitar
like a boxer punches with his fist
and taken or just lost to me
it’s better now to say
I dwell in possibility
on New Year’s Day
There’s a jukebox or a bandstand
and we’re on another round
and the night’s just getting started
or the night’s just winding down
and your stories are not clouded yet by the ale
or by the gin
they just make me feel as if I’ve known you
all my life again
Like the folds of summer dresses
like the scent upon my wrist
like the way you played guitar
like a boxer punches with his fist
and taken or just lost to me
it’s better now to say
I dwell in possibility
on New Year’s Day
And this is what it looked like
when we started walking home
the night sky bleached to silver
against the city’s bones
in dreams or in our waking
it’s just enough to say
love and grace and endless flowers
be ours on New Year’s Day
And the folds of summer dresses
and the bangles on my wrist
and the way you played guitar
like a boxer punches with his fist
and taken or just lost to us
it’s better now to say
we dwell in possibility
on New Year’s Day
Fading Away
Drums: Russ Kunkel
Bass: Glenn Worf
Piano and B3: Matt Rollings
National Resonator and Electric Guitars: Duke Levine
Acoustic Guitar: Mary Chapin Carpenter
You are fading away in pieces and parts
like old china and glass, in fragments and shards
moment by moment, a day at a time
by the side of the road, in the dark of the night
You are leaving me here like the seasons will do
leaving nothing behind but I know it was you
that walked where I walk now, that stood where I stand
some phantom performing a strange sleight of hand
And the places I see are returning once more
to the places I knew them to be long before
they merged with your laugh
they locked with your eyes
I have almost regained them,
along with my stride
You are turning to nothing like ash off a fire
as it rises and floats up higher and higher
as the flame slowly dies and the fire turns cold
like the color of sky the higher you go
And the world that I see is returning once more
to the world that I knew it be long before
it had merged with your laugh
it had locked with your eyes
I’ve been letting it go, with all my goodbyes
You are blurring like memory and falling like dust
on old wedding bouquets, the roses and rust
on the wheel, on the mantle,
in the quiet of day
you are vanishing slowly
you are fading away
Jericho
Piano: Matt Rollings
You can’t see me yet
seeing takes a long, long time
from the outside in
measuring each shift and sigh
but as you let your eyes adjust
to the darkness deep within
sifting through the ash and dust
we are the places that we’ve been
You can’t hear me yet
listening takes a long, long time
and I’ve so much to tell
but words die on these lips of mine
but in the stillness you may sense
every thing I long to say
unraveling like golden threads
the walls will all come down this way
You don’t know me yet
knowing takes a long, long time
and time is all we have
never traveling in straight lines
So memorize each turn and twist
just be careful as you go
for if love is a labyrinth
then my heart is Jericho