Patrick Callahan’s
Dante Alighieri (1265-1321)
1302ThePope BanishesDantefromhis
hometownbecauseofpolitics.
HeistoldhewillbeBURNEDATTHESTAKE
ifhereturns.
So,insteadhewadersItalyforadecade
andwritestheDivineComedy.
Thefirstpartiscalled“TheInferno”where
inDantedescribes9circlesofHELLand
whobelongsineach.
Dante Alighieri (1265-1321)
1302ThePopeBanishesDantefromhis
hometownbecauseofpoltics.
HeistoldhewillbeBURNEDATTHESTAKE
ifhereturns.
So,insteadhewadersItalyforadecade
andwritestheDivineComedy.
Thefirstpartiscalled“TheInferno”where
inDantedescribes9circlesofHELLand
whobelongsineach.
Thisismyversion.With14th centuryItalybeingreplaced
byalgebraclass.AndlessinvolvementbythePope.And
hopefullylessburningatstakes.
“Theroadtohellispaved
withgoodintentions”
SaintBernardofClairvaux (c.1150)
Iknowtheaudiencehereisfilledwithwell
meaning,caring,andpassionateteachers.
Nonetheless,Iwillbedescribingwhyweall
belonginHell.
Nohardfeelings.
😉
ALGEBRA is BORING,
POINTLESS, HELLISH and
it is OUR FAULT
First Circle: The Avoiders
Yay! Tricks and
mnemonics!!
FOIL,“invertandmultiply”,butterfly,
”matrixmultiplication”,PEMDAS,“movethe
decimalpoint”,“cancelstuff”…
“SmellMyFeet”(i.e.SameMultiplyFlip)
Thisisthefirstcircleofhell.
This is where you “teach” math by AVOIDING
the math.
Youlowerthecognitivedemand.
Youavoidthemathematics.
FirstCircle:TheAvoiders
Satan says:
Introduce
Functions with
the
Vertical Line Test
Second Circle: The Liars
Student:WhydoIneed
tolearnthis?When
amIevergoingtouse
this?
Teacher:Youaregoingto
needthisoneday!
Trustme.
LIAR!!!!
No,kids,youwon’tneed
this.Seriously,never.
Third Circle: The Survivalists
Doyousaysthingslike:
ØYoudon’treally understanditunlessyoucan
doitbyhand.
ØUsingtechnologyisn’t“real”math.
ØDesmos isgreatfor“playingaround”
Student:Areweallowedtousea
calculator?
Teacher:NO!!!Whatif
youarenakedonadesert
islandandyoudon’thave
acalculator?
Third Circle: The Survivalists
Ohno!Wearenakedand
don’thaveacalculator!
Wearegoingtodie!
IwishIhad
listenedtomy
algebra
teacher!
Third Circle: The Survivalists
Letmestressthispoint:
Technology
is bad!
IfIsawanengineer,doctor,mechanic,nurse,
accountant,etc.
Fillapagewithdoingcalculationsbyhand…
Iwouldslapthepenciloutoftheirhand.
Idon’ttrusthandcalculations.
Nooneshould.
It’sNOTthe19thcenturyanymore!
Fourth Circle: Excessively Dictatorial Instruction*
ThemostcommonformofalgebrainstructionintheUSA:
1. Teacherworksanexample(whilestudentstakenotes)
2. Teacherdoesaproblemofthesametype“with”thestudents.
3. Studentspracticeproblemsofthesametype.
Notonlydoesthis
drasticallylower
thecognitive
demand
Itsucksthe
imaginationand
spiritoutof
students.
*Similaritytoanyotheracronymispurelycoincidental
Fifth Circle: The Delusional
Doyouthinkarithmeticfluencyisnecessarybeforealgebraicthinking?
“Mystudentscan’ttakealgebra,theycan’teven
dividefractions,oradd,etc.”
Thisislikeconfusingspellingandgrammar
skillswithliterature.
We have deluded ourselves that
algebra is the same as arithmetic
procedural fluency.
Sixth Circle: The Nudists
Allyourproblemsarenumeric
andsymbolic.
Naked math!!
AlmostNOONEEVERwillbe
givennakedproblemtosolve.
AndYET,wespendtheVAST
MAJORITYofourtimeonit.
Nudistsavoidclotheslike
thesealgebrateachersavoid
contexts.
Seventh Circle: The SadistsAlgebra1Exam
ØDoyouconfuse“perseverance”with
“mathematicsability”?
ØDoyoubelievekidsneedtoworkhard
tosucceed?
ØDoyouassignhoursoftedious
homework?
ØDoyourtestslooklikethis:
ØDothinkyourclass“buildscharacter”
andhelpsto“toughenup”kids?
ØDoyourstudentscallyoua“drill
sergeant”?
ØDoyougradeharshlyto“preparethem
forcollege”?
Seventh Circle: The Sadists
Workhard!Practice,practice,practice!Themorepainfulandtediousthebetter.
Don’tquestionwhy!Thiswillensureyourfuturesuccess.Youwillbecomea
complianthard-workingalgebrastudent.Hoursofhomework!Giveupyourfreetime.Don’tthinkaboutthepurpose.Thesystemwillrewardyou.
Eighth Circle: The Gatekeepers
Ifyouthinkanimportantpartofalgebrais
to”gatekeep”i.e.decidewhois“good
enough”foradvancedmathclassesand
keep out
those who are
not qualified
Doyouthinkyouare“servingindividualneeds”byputtingkidsinslowclasses?
Hekid,wearegoingtokeepyouinpre-algebrareadinessforafewyears.
Thatshouldworkoutwellforyou.
Eighth Circle: The Gatekeepers
Ifyouthinkanimportantpartofalgebrais
to”gatekeep”i.e.decidewhois“good
enough”foradvancedmathclassesand
keep out
those who are
not qualified
Tracking does far more harm than good.
If you have tracking in your math courses then this circle of hell is
for you.
Ninth Circle: The Traitors
Thelowestcircleofhellisreservedfor
Thosewhoseeproblemsinthe
systemandchoosetodonothing.
Ninth Circle: The Traitors
Thelowestcircleofhellisreservedfor
Thosewhoseeproblemsinthe
systemandchoosetodonothing.
Hey, my principal makes us
teach this way… the district
adopted this crappy
textbook, parents demand
acceleration, the colleges
require we do this, I’m just
a teacher, I don’t get to
make decisions.
AVOID THE INFERNO!!
CHANGE THE WAY YOU
TEACH ALGEBRA!