Anne Frank's Changing Familial Relationships
Sylvia P. Iskander
Children's Literature Association Quarterly, 1988 Proceedings, pp.
47-51 (Article)
Published by The Johns Hopkins University Press
DOI: 10.1353/chq.1988.0010
For additional information about this article
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/chq/summary/v1988/1988.iskander.html
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Anne Frank's Changing Familial Relationships
by
Sylvia P. Iskander
"family":
Anne Frank's family of fourteen 1s unique, encompassing three aspects of the term
blood relatives, household members, and providers of sustenance and nurture. Anne, the
younger daughter of Otto and EdHh Frank, was born Into a family of four, but became the youngest
member of a household of eight within the Secret Annex of house 263 on the PMnsengracht Canal 1n
Amsterdam during World War II. In addition, the eight had an extended "family" of six outside the
Annex who provided not only food, clothing, and shelter, but also love by dally risking their
Uves to maintain those 1n hiding. Anne's relationships to her "family" within and without the
Annex can be categorized as developing or static: developing 1n terms of the Intensive, stressful
dally relationships with those within the Annex, static 1n terms of the rule for Anne's relationships with those outside the Annex. In each case Anne's growing maturity, budding sexuality,
desire for Independence, and search for self color her actions and reactions 1n the unparalleled
situation 1n which she lived her last few years.
WHhIn the circle of four, Anne's relationship with her parents changes during the volatile period between 1942 and 1944, when she 1s a maturing teenager, thirteen to fifteen years
old. Her close relationship with her father becomes more Independent and detached by Anne's fifteenth birthday. At thirteen, she says: "I adore Daddy. He 1s the one I look up to. I don't
love anyone 1n the world but him" (40). Anne admires his calm, reassuring manner, so different
from her combustible self, and shares his optimistic outlook. She and the other adolescents 1n
hiding look to her father to teach and supervise their Intellectual growth, as well as record
their physical growth, by marking their heights 1n Unes still visible on the Franks' bedroom
wall. Anne flees to her father's bed on nights when bombs and planes frighten her (61). She
seeks his advice about her blossoming romance with Peter Van Daan (198).
As Anne matures, however, she realizes that her father 1s fallible and that "P1m" cannot
be everything to her; when he treats her like a child passing through "difficult phases," and
makes her feel "sensible," he does not realize that "the fight to get on top [1s] more Important
[to her] than all else"; she complains:
P1m always takes up the older, fatherly attitude. . . .But
still he's not able to feel with me like a friend, however
hard he tries. These things have made me never mention my
views on Hfe nor my well -considered theories. ... I concealed from Daddy everything that perturbed me; I never
shared my Ideals with him. ... I was pushing him away from
me. (235)
Anne faults her father for being a parent not a friend, but criticizes her mother for trying to be
a friend and not a parent. In spHe of this Inconsistency, Anne obviously loves P1m, whereas her
displeasure with, and even lack of respect for, her mother 1s but one reason for the later censorship of her diary. The unexpurgated Dutch diary, to appear Initially 1n English 1n fall 1988, may
further fuel that Issue.
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Anne complains frequently throughout the twenty-six month period covered In the Diary
about her relationship with her mother and about her mother's fallings. She bemoans the fact that
her mother treats her like a baby (22), "lacks sensitiveness, real motherllness" (144) and cannot
be confided 1n (61); she finds fault with her mother's "untidiness, her sarcasm, and her lack of
sweetness" (40-41). She believes that she and her mother are opposHes; for example, she disagrees with her mother's advice to depressed people to think of other misery 1n the world and be
glad they have only their problems (146, 154); Anne's advice 1n this case 1s to think of the
beauty In the world (154).
Another obstacle 1n the parent-child relationship 1s the quest for power manifested by
Anne's feelings of superiority; she explains, "I know that I can discuss things and argue better
than Mummy, I know I'm not so prejudiced, I don't exaggerate so much, I am more precise and adroit
and because of this. . . . I feel superior to her over a great many things. If I love anyone,
above all I must have admiration for them, admiration and respect" (161). The reader can only
Infer that Anne does not love her mother and that her mother 1s unaware of the lack of love when
Anne states, "I believe Mummy thinks there could be no better relationship between parents and
their children, and no one could take a greater Interest 1n their children's Uves than she"
(123).
Anne's growing maturity 1s evident when she can see, albeit faintly, her mother's side
1n several situations. For example, one evening Mrs. Frank offers, 1n Mr. Frank's absence, to say
Anne's prayers with her, but Anne refuses.
Her mother replies tearfully, "I don't want to be
cross, love cannot be forced. . . ." Anne responds, "I felt sorry for Mummy; very, very sorry,
because I had seen for the first time 1n my Hfe that she minds my coldness. . . . [S]he herself
has pushed me away, her tactless remarks and crude jokes, . . . have now made me Insensitive to
any love from her side" (69-70). In reference to her relationship with Peter, she says, "Mummy 1s
against me and I'm against her, . . . Mummy 1s sad, because she does really love me, while I'm not
1n the least bit sad, because I don't think she understands" (171).
Throughout the Diary Anne comments on her lack of dependence upon her mother, on her
growing Independence: "I have to be my own mother" (41); "I can't really love Mummy 1n a dependent childlike way—I just don't have that feeling" (115); and "I don't need a mother any more,
for all this conflict has made me strong" (203). Although she 1s strong, Anne's lack of maturity
leads her to such hyperbolic statements as "I have now reached the stage that I can live entirely
on my own, without Mummy's support or anyone else's for that matter" (202). Her feelings are best
Illuminated by her desire to set for her future children a different example from that which her
mother, Mansa, set. Anne wants a "'Mumsle' who doesn't take everything ... so seriously, but
who does take what _I_ say seriously" (111). Anne's yearning for her Idealized version of mother
love never causes her to feel abandoned by her family, yet she earlier admits to feeling occasion-
ally "that I would always be a bit of an outsider. Sometimes I used to pretend I was an orphan,
until I reproached and punished myself, telling myself H was all my own fault that I played this
self-pHy1ng role, when I was really so fortunate" (123). Her ability to feel Integrated and not
detached from her family 1s a sign of her growing maturity and self realization, qualities visible
1n her relationship with her sister.
Margot loves and supports Anne, who clearly returns her love. Even though Anne says,
"I'm not jealous of Margot, never have been. I don't envy her good looks or her beauty" (40),
she must on occasion feel some jealousy, for Margot 1s openly declared to be the student 1n the
family, serious, hard working, not frivolous like Anne often 1s. Anne, on the other hand, plays
the role of family entertainer, clown, comedienne to mask her real feelings. Her Introspective
feelings, her belief that there are two Annes—the comic child and the serious adult—Indicate
Anne's Increasing self awareness but Inability to reconcile the two aspects of her personality.
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Although Anne describes Margot as "brilliant [and] brainy" (11), "beautiful" (40),
"sweet" (123, 155), "darling, . . . good and pretty" (155), and appreciates Margot's support of
her friendship with Peter (164-65), she also claims, "I don't want to be 1n the least like
Margot. She 1s much too soft and passive for my 1 Iking and allows everyone to talk her around,
and gives 1n about everything.
I want to be a strong character!" (59).
Margot 1s relatively static during their turbulent teen years.
Her relationship with
Familial relationships are, however, Influenced by years of fear, lack of privacy, and
deprivation. Anne writes to KHty, her fictional correspondent, "Honestly, you needn't think H's
easy to be the 'badly brought-up' central figure of a hypercritical family 1n hiding" (51).
Further, Anne comments on "how little remains of the confidence and harmony that we used to have
at home"; she attributes this lack to her and her sister being "treated as children over outward
things, [when they] are much older than most girls of [their] age Inwardly" (161). She resents
the plethora of kisses and fancy nicknames as childish and Indicative of her parents' failure to
recognize her growing maturity (161). Yet a warm family feeling emerges 1n her vignette of the
quiet, prevailing dally between 8:30 a.m. when the employees arrive 1n the building and the 9:00
o'clock breakfast hour as "a little bit of real family Hfe [when the family reads or works]"
(96).
WHhIn the extended family, seldom 1s such quiet possible.
Not long after the arrival
of Mr. and Mrs. Van Daan and their son, Peter, and four months later the dentist Dussel, Anne
finds the close quarters less exasperating than the conflicting personalities. She criticizes
Mr. Van Daan, "Puttl," for frequently fighting with Ms wife and being totally Inflexible 1n his
opinions (90).
She respects Mrs. Van Daan, her mother substitute, for being "Industrious and
tidy" (56), but condemns "KerH" "as being pushing, selfish, cunning, calculating, and . . . never
content" (84). To these undesirable traits she adds Petronella Van Daan' s moodiness (27), her
flirtations (33), her lack of Intelligence (224), and her desire to stir up trouble (90). Yet,
Mrs. Van Daan surpasses EdHh Frank 1n one respect, for Anne feels that she can communicate with
her and even manipulate her; she says:
Despite all [Mrs. Van Daan's] selfishness, stinginess, and
underhandedness, you can make her give 1n easily, as long as
you don't Irritate her and get on the wrong side of her.
This way doesn't work every time, but 1f you have patience
you can try again and see how far you get." (126)
Anne's lack of maturity manifests Hself when she 1s unable to manipulate Mrs. Van Daan
and resorts to name calling, such as "stupid" (224), "Jealous" (226), and "a foolish, blubbering
specimen" (226), and when she questions whether the Franks were extra unlucky 1n their choice of a
family with whom to share their hiding place (125).
Anne's opinion of Mrs. Van Daan, never very
high, remains virtually unchanged during their stay together.
Her feelings about Peter Van Daan, however, undergo a dramatic change from Anne's first
appraisal upon his arrival when she describes Peter as "not sixteen yet, a rather soft, shy, gawky
youth; can't expect much from his company" (20). Further, he 1s "frightfully touchy and lazy," "a
real hypochondr1a[c]" (22), who can, however, be quite funny on occasion (33,60). Anne's budding
sexuality provokes a deeper Interest 1n Peter. She diagnoses him as having an Inferiority complex
(139) and worries about his failure to accept his Jewlshness (139-40), his lack of character, will
power, courage, and strength (197), his Inability to stand on his own feet (229), and his neglect
in setting goals (230). On the other hand, she claims, "Peter 1s good and he's a darling. . .a
49
peace-loving person; he's tolerant and gives 1n very easily" (225). The realistic Anne concludes
that she cannot marry him, however difficult H will be to let him go (197).
Anne's criteria for evaluating people usually Include their flexibility 1n arguments and
their reactions to food, points which Illuminate the premium placed upon yielding to keep the
peace within the confined space of the Secret Annex and upon food 1n a time of great shortages,
the second point Ironic 1n light of Anne's disdain for discussing food. She respects Mr. Frank's
unselfishness as he waits until everyone else has something to eat and tries to save the best for
his children. She 1s upset by Mr. Van Daan's taking large portions for himself, Mrs. Van Daan's
choslng only the best for herself, Peter's never being full even after a large meal, Margot's
dainty appetite, her mother's good appetite, and Dussel's concentration on his food to the expense
of conversation (90-91).
Anne's opinion of Dussel changes swiftly from "a very nice man" (47), her comment two
days after his arrival 1n the Annex, to "His Lordship" (50), her comment ten days after she begins
sharing her cramped small bedroom (about 7 ? 16 feet) with him. She seldom complains however,
about the lack of space even though her bed 1s so short that chairs are added at the foot to
extend the length; Instead, she complains about Mr. Dussel's snoring (87), his quieting her with a
"ssh-ssh" at night, and his bumping Into her "bed" doing his exercises until she reaches the point
of taking revenge by hiding his clothes (56). Dussel's most grievous faults are his refusal to
shorten his "sitting times" 1n the bathroom no matter how desperate others might be (91), his
refusal to allow Anne the use of the small writing table 1n their room two afternoons a week, a
problem settled only by Mr. Frank's Intervention (77-79), and his playing doctor when Anne has the
flu by putting his greasy head on her naked chest, tickling and embarrassing her (109). Anne concludes Dussel 1s "pedantic and small-minded" (79).
Contrasting with her opinion about Dussel are Anne's feelings about the outside group,
whom she calls our "protectors" (19), "helpers" (131), or "supply column" (231). M1ep and Henk
Van Santen, El 11 Vossen and her father, Mr. Koophuls, and Mr. Kral er are the epitome of people who
perform noble, unselfish deeds without complaint (131). They provide understanding, Information,
and entertainment, to say nothing of food, clothing, and presents for birthdays. Anne describes
their contribution, "[A]I though others may show heroism 1n the war or against the Germans, our
helpers display heroism 1n their cheerfulness and affection" (132). In the early days 1n hiding,
Anne desires to Incorporate them further Into the family by having them spend the night (38).
Later as she gains perspective, she realizes how Intertwined their Uves are and requires no outward show from the extended family.
Any discussion of the outer circle must begin with M1ep, a close friend and office
employee of Mr. Frank, whom Anne describes as "just like a pack mule, she fetches and carries so
much" (76-77). Mlep's recent book, Anne Frank Remembered, details her substantial contribution,
which Anne recognizes when she credits both M1ep and Kraler for "carry[1ng] the heaviest burden of
the eight In hiding, M1ep 1n all she does, and Kraler through the enormous responsibility" (217).
Anne portrays ElH Vossen, the young typist, as a non-p1cky eater, "easy to please,
. . . cheerful and good-tempered, willing and good-natured," (91) and 1s grateful for the Latin
and shorthand courses completed under ElU's name, as well as the rations ElH and M1ep collect
and the knowledge of ElU's feelings about her boyfriend D1rk (35), providing Anne with some Insight 1n her later relationship with Peter. ElU's father, the builder of the bookcase/door to
the Annex, whom Anne calls "our best helper and security adviser" (75) early 1n the Diary, 1s unable to help after his cancer 1s discovered. Henk, whom Anne first describes as a marvelous
50
storyteller (158), later becomes "the hideout watchman" (218).
Mr. KoopMus and Mr. Kraler use their acumen, along with dally consultations with Mr.
Frank, to keep Otto Frank's two food-related businesses prospering. Furthermore, KoopMus provides a variety of Inventive, resourceful services from selling Mrs. Van Daan's fur coat (101), to
spreading yellow powder for fleas (85), to claiming to have forgotten the key to the Annex when
the building's new owner brings an architect to look at the house (60-61).
Basically Anne's relationship with the helpers remains static: a gratuitous one for the
lifeline they provide. While the child Anne complains about the dally problems of the eight 1n
hiding, the adult Anne grows 1n compassion for those less fortunate 1n the war. Her belief 1n God
and the good Dutch people of her adopted country give her hope for the future until that fateful
day 1n early August 1944 when the Green Police discover them.
Yet her hope was not entirely un-
founded, for she and all her "family" continue to Uve through the Diary, 1n which she records her
Increasing maturation and progress toward adulthood.
Works Cited
Frank, Anne.
Anne Frank:
Schuster, 1953.
—.
The Diary of a Young Girl .
De Dagboeken van Anne Frank.
Barnouw.
Amsterdam:
G1es, M1ep, with AH son Leslie Gold.
Hide the Frank Family.
Introd.
Bert Bakker, 1986.
New York:
Trans. B. M. Mooyaart.
New York:
Simon &
Harry Paape, Gerrold van der Stroom and David
Anne Frank Remembered:
Simon and Schuster, 1987.
51
The Story of the Woman Who Helped to