More and more qualified people are moving from poor to rich countries to fill
vacancies in specialist areas like engineering, computing and medicine.
Some people believe that by encouraging the movement of such people, rich
countries are stealing from poor countries. Others feel that this is only part of
the natural movement of workers around the world.
Do you agree or disagree?
Today there is a new phenomenon, namely brain-drain, around the world
and qualified people migrate to the rich countries to have more employment
choices as doctors, engineers, etc.. Opinions about this issue are divided whether it
is a kind of stealing from poor countries or not.
Supporters of expert migration argue that there are no proper opportunities
for educated people to work in low-income countries. Therefore, they have to
move to another country for working and making their lives. Moreover, after some
years which they gain valuable experiences, they can come back to their
hometowns, and develop there to what extend they could. Of course it needs that
poorer governments encourage them for returning again. Try to change the
structures, use subordinate clauses which make your writing seem more complex.
On the other hand, the second group points out the number of essential
personnel, who would like to come back, are negligible. As a consequence the
poorer countries just invest for education of people. However, rich governments
benefits of them. By this they mean that it causes poor countries do not grow. For
instance, nowadays the skilled people of my country, Iran, move to Europe or
Canada for reaching better life and due to this, our government face many
problems such as it does not have enough experienced civil engineering for
construction projects.
To put it in a nutshell, after analyzing both points of view, it is clear that
manpower migration around the world is unavoidable. That is why I personally
take the first group view. Nevertheless, without a doubt there are some ways for
preventing. For example, if rich countries set up their factories in poor countries,
either their costs of production decrease remarkably, or educated people do not
need to leave their hometown for working.
AFARINESH IELTS House | www.IELTS-House.com | Tel: 021 28318 & 22041779
Comment [g1]: extent
Comment [g2]: can
Comment [g3]: Deleted: comma
Comment [g4]: benefit from
Comment [g5]: explain how it happens
Comment [g6]: not to
Comment [g7]: Substituted: deprivation of,
inadequacy of
Examiner’s comment:
You have expressed two points of view and agree with one of them. Therefore, you
must support the side with which you agree more strongly and present more
reasons and examples for it. Grammatically there are not big problems as you have
written conservatively and used only simple structures.
Estimated band score: 6
Task 1:
Band
Task
achievement
Coherence
and cohesion
Lexical
resources
6
7
5
Grammar
range and
accuracy
5
AFARINESH IELTS House | www.IELTS-House.com | Tel: 021 28318 & 22041779