Eliminating Wordiness
This quiz was prepared by
Michael Dolan, a student in
Professor Karyn Hollis's Tutor
Training course at Villanova
University.
Directions: Click on "The sentence, please!" and a sentence will appear in the top textarea. Try to eliminate redundant statements and useless phrases from the sentence. When you are
finished with each sentence (or, if you wish, wait until you've done them all), click on
"Grammar's Version," which will reveal how we would rewrite the sentence. Don't cheat by
looking at Grammar's Version first.
There is certainly more than one way to repair a wordy sentence, and your effort might, in fact,
be better than ours. If you would like to suggest an improved version, write to Grammar English.
1.
He found his neighbor w ho lived next door to be attractive in
appearance.
He found his neighbor attractive.
2.
He w as really late to his English class due to the fact that he had to
finish his math test.
He w as late for English because he had to finish his math test.
3.
Although they w ere several in number, the street gang feared the
police.
Although they w ere a large group, the street gang feared the police.
4.
Bob provided an explanation of the computer to his grandmother.
Bob explained the computer to his grandmother.
5.
During the time w hen I lived in South Carolina, it w as my intention to go
to college in Florida.
When I lived in South Carolina, I planned to attend college in Florida.
6.
In order to prove that he could hold his ow n on the track team, Gordo
had to train hard like the old runners.
To prove that he could hold his ow n on the track team, Gordo had to
train hard like the older runners.
7.
If you go to the store, you w ill see that the store is closed on Sundays
because the storeow ner likes to go to church.
If you go to the store, you w ill see that it is closed on Sunday because
the ow ner likes to go to church. OR The store is closed on Sundays
because the ow ner attends church.
8.
Due to the fact that Jim liked chocolate, he w as very upset w hen the
candy company canceled production of his favorite chocolate bar.
Because Jim liked chocolate, he w as very upset w hen the candy
company canceled his favorite chocolate bar. OR Jim w as upset w hen
the candy company canceled production of his favorite chocolate bar
9.
One time w hen I w ent to the park, my friend, w hose name is Jake, w ent
w ith me and w e had fun due to the fact that it w as a nice day out.
When I w ent to the park w ith my friend Jake, w e had fun because it
w as such a nice day.
10.
In this report I w ill conduct a study of ants and the setup of their
colonies.
I w ill study ants and their colonies in this report. OR This report studies
ants.