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Student Publications
The Kaldron Yearbook Collection
1883-01-01
Alleghenian: 1883
Allegheny College
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A ! U q l\ e c y
— — ——
A
')'1
l l e g i n g
>
f'
Q T qu z g e
L ib r a r y
Archives „ _
DUNN, P H O T O C R A P H E R
V O LU M E IV .
N UM BER I.
/
y
/
P U B L IS H E D A N N U A L LY B y
-)T h e * S E C R E T
S O C IE T IE S *
“ Wi t h malice 1 iviatb^ aff,
£lnfi cfunilij for none."
JUNE, 1 8 8 3 ,
[A LL J O K E S
C O P Y R IG H T E D ,]
W . W. CASE, (’S4), •!>. A. <>., E/litor-in-Chief.
F. W. SILVER, (’S3), A. T. A.
K. H. P()NI), (’83), <l<. A. 0 .
F. M. CURRIE, (’84). *. K. +.
I). MERRICK, (’85), A. T. A.
R. ( '. BOLE, (’80), <!>. K. +.
^ ^ E Y E before in the history of mankind has journalism reached the
high standard of perfection which this volume of the ALLEGHENIAN
now occupies. Former Editors have lauded their accomplishments as high
as the heavens, hut the present Editors, modest and retired, are willing to
let posterity judge as to their deepness of thought, brilliancy of compo­
sition, keenness of perception, logical conclusions, wit and many other high
qualities too numerous to mention. We do not care for the vain pomp
and glory of this world, hut would just as leave dwell in the most magnifi­
cent palace ever erected as in the humblest cot beside a h ill!
T h is being a journal of the students, for the students,—and others—
and by the students, we wish it to he remembered that it is in nowise con­
trolled by the Faculty. '
To t h e citizens of Meadville we are'thankful for past favors, and hope
for a continuance of the same. Before leaving for their summer trips,
they must not forget to purchase an A l l e g h e n ia n .
F rom advance sheets furnished we can only quote from a few of the
thousand com plim entary notices we d ailv receive :
T h e best college annual ever in the W hite House.—Arthur.
My fam ily could not do without it.- - lira. Untlrr.
T h e Editors are marked men of ability.—.V. Y. Tribune.
W e admire it for its independence.— Phil. Time*.
A SURE cure for the blues. — Morning Nexrn. Etc.
W e do not accept this praise for ourselves alone, but for our constituents
who saw the need of exalting us to this honored position.
W e do not wish to slight our gentlemanly business managers, hut we
will give them a testimonial for galvanized gall and unadulterated cheek.
A good chance for a tirm in need of book agents !
To o ur numerous friends we leave this token — at 50c. a copy— of the
high regard we have had for them during the past six months !
M. C. BLYSTONE, (’86), *. A. G.
E. IV. DAY, (’84), A. T. A.
W. W. H U FFM A N , (’85), -I*. K. *.
F or the wrathy w e have only tears and sym pathy, and it is our sincere
wish that we m ay never m eet alone when the heavenly orb o f night has
hidden Iter silvery disc behind a cloud.
W e wish for the A l l e g h e n ia n of ’83 a bon voyage.
J -
T H E A L L EH H E X IA X,
C. W. REID, A. M ,
Professor of Herman and Literature.
REV. A M M I B. HYDE, D. IX,
Professor of French and Literature.
— O F-
J A M E S I I MONTGOMERY, A.M.,
Preparatory School.
J E R E M I A H TINGLEY, A.M.,
Curator and Librarian.
R E V IX //. WHEELER, IX IX. I. L. IX,
P R E SID E N T ,
REV. J O N A T H A N HAMNETT, D. D.
V IC E -P R E SID E N T ,
PO STER.
M. B. GOFF, M. A.,
P h.
D.,
PROFESSOR OF M ATHEM A TIC S.
J E R E M I A H TING LEY, A. M., Ph. T),
Professor of Physics and Chemistry.
R E V A M M I B. HYDE, IX IX
Professor of Hebrew and Knglish.
CHAS W. RETD, A. M.,
Professor of Creek Lanffuaye and Literature.
GEORGE W. TUSHI.VS, A. M.,
Bradley Professor of Latin Lanyuayr and Literature.
First Lieut. GEORGE (X WEBSTER. U.S.A.
Professor of Military Science and Tactics.
Assistants in Jjthoratories.
C. W. IiETD, A. M.,
Professor of German and Literature.
REV. A M M I B. H YD E , D. 1).,
"Bf
Professor of French and Literature.
—OF—
JA M E S H. MO.YTGO.MEnY, A.M .,
Preparatory School.
JE R E M IA H TING LEY, A .M .,
(■nrator and Librarian.
GEORGE TV H ASKINS, A. M.,
Secretary of the Faculty.
M. FRAN CIS BO ICE.
Teacher of Elocution and Reading.
H A R R IE T A. L IN N , A. B.
Lady Principal— Hen Ii nr/s Hall.
M. R. STEVENSON,
D. I . THOBURN,
Professor of Hebrew and English.
CH.AS IV. HE IT), A. M.,
Professor of Greek Jstngnage and Literature.
GEOItGE TV H ASKINS, A. M.,
Beadlei/ Professor of Latin I,angnage and Literature.
First Lieut. GEORGE 0. WEBSTER, U .S .A .
Professor of Military Science and Parties.
Assistants in Laboratories,
founded at jefferson 1852
.
Established at ALLEGHENY 1855.
P h i k ap p a p si fratern ity
P enna
11E T A .
R e s id e n t M e m b e rs .
W ilbur McClintock,
J . B. Elliott,
Hon. Pearson Church,
1*. A. Laffer,
Prof. G. W. Haskins,
E.
T. Bates,
A. L. Bates,
M. T. Bales,
Senator Humes,
John McClintock,
A. B. Colter,
E.
M. Wood.
C lc t tl’O ? llc i4 lC ’0 i.'.
S E N IO R S .
G.
C. P. Robinson,
O. Calder,
E. M. Robinson.
W. P. Grant,
JU N ID R S .
F.
C. W . Deane.
M. Currie,
SD PHM D RES,
C. T. Fox.
W. II. Huffman.
W. M. Everett,
G. p . Feree,
F.
C. Wade.
FRESH M EN ,
C. W. Benedict,
R. C. Bole,
(). B. Ong,
W. S. King,
E . H. Frederick,
S. B. Smith.
P R E P flR R T D R Y ,
S. J . Brown,
W. J . Ford,
Charles Haskins,
Wilson Hoag.
T f e l U
T a u D e lta Fra te rn ity, j N
FnundEd at BEthany IBSB.
E siah lisb E d
at
flllEghEny
1BB3.
16
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
^E L TA
$A U
&ELTA
^ R A T E R N IT Y .
Fmtrrs In I M e.
W. C'. Bear,
Louis Walker,
.James Doughty,
G. A. Nodine,
C. F. Richmond,
F. L. Balckmarr,
L. L. Richmond,
J . D. McCoy,
G. t. W right,
H . M. Richmond,
C. W. Fish,
Ed. F . Peffers,
F. McK. White,
II. C. Flood,
E . A. Hempstead,
V. M. Delameter,
W . C. Fish,
C. P. Woodring,
J . E . Andrews.
D. A. Gill,
W. H . Ray,
C. E . Richmond,
E . P. Cullum,
C. M. Rlair,
SENIORS.
Janies M McCreadv,
Frank W. Silver,
Wesley B. Best,
Ethelbert E. Blair,
JU NIORS.
W alter J . Guthrie,
Ernest E. Baldwin,
Ewing W . Day,
H arrv W. Plummer.
SOPHMORES.
Jam es B. Stewart.
Duff Merrick,
FRESH M EN
Chas. B. Kistler,
Henry D. Patterson,
A. A. Taylor,
J . II. Thompson,
'W illiam A. McClurg,
Will G. Power,
I.. C. Taylor,
Will J . Hoover.
a
F ounded
at
M ia m i U n iv e r s it y 1848.
E st a b l is h e d
at
A l le g h e n y 187!).
TH E
. I ELE< illENJA .Y.
13
TI1E A E L E IIH E M A N .
12
l i i Delta Theta Fraternity,
P E N N A , DELTA.
SENIORS.
J . A. Guignon,
E. H . Pond,
J . A. Vance.
\
______
JU NIORS,
E.
S. Blair,
W . W. Case,
W. T. Dice.
SOPH MORES.
W. II. Gallup,
C. IV. Proctor.
FR ESH M EN .
M.
Blystone,
\V. R. Graves,
C’has. P. Lynch,
Frank I.. Wells.
PREPARATORY.
Norman Johnson,
I,. R. Ling,
W. II. Murray.
01X 10
TH E
14
^
A L LE G IIE X IA X.
@ L 3 [El
As-
TnT1^
-> KAfPA A L P p A T p E T f c
A L U M N I,
Minnie Saeger,
Joe Henderson,
Iris Barr,
Emma Powell.
A C T IV E
M EM BERS,
—’84.—
Sallie B. W elsh.
—’85.—
Bird McGrew,
Blanch McGongli,
Clara Snyder.
—’80 —
May Goff,
Loie Wilkinson,
Virginia Miller,
Lydia E. Wood.
A L L E G 1 1 E N Y CO LLEG E.
flli |lplia fsi fratornity.
R E S ID E N T A N D A C T IV E M E M B E R S.
M. Blanche Best,
Mahle C. Flood,
Ruby K. Blackmarr,
Emma I,. Fowler,
Kate T. Iferriekson,
Emma Lyon,
Gertrude Douglas,
Anna A. Mosier,
Grace T. Derrickson,
Reliecca Stoneroad,
M. Bessie Lashells,
H arriet Thompson,
Mav A. Tinan, Sharon,
G £F T H E ^ D
HCOLLEEE
B L A S S E S lf
0olisjs ^ulorj— ([list Jim and £iild—
—“ Yet are the buildings rude,
As is the chrysalis to the butterfly,—
To the rich flower the seed. The dusky walls
Hold the fair germ of knowledge, and the tree
Glories in beauty, golden with its fruits,
To these old buildings trace back its life.”
« tM
Best, W. B. △ T A.
Blair, E. E. A T A.
Burkhalter, C. M.
Calder, G. 0 . * K +.
Chapman, H.
Ferree, S. E.
Freisbee, E. L.
Hayes, Helen M.
Hyde, Martha J .
Grant, W. P. * K *.
Gtiignon, J . A. * A 0
Hollister, C. W.
I.aughlin, M. F.
McCready, J . M. A T A.
Pond, E. H . * A 0.
Robinson, E . M. * K *.
Robinson, C. P. * K *.
Silver, F . W . A T A.
Smith, Mary E.
Vance, J . A. * A 0.
Woods, H attie A.
E M
280 Centre St.
821 Market St.
462 N. Main St.
Hulings Hall
HK)0 Park Ave.
Cottage St.
Hulings Hull
Hulings Hall
Hulings Hall
Cor. North and Market
368 George St.
Hulings Hall
Cottage St.
74 High St.
879 Liberty St.
Cor. North and Market
Cor. North and Market
Beach House
o85 N. Main St.
553 N. Main St.
Hulings Hail
T otai ,
SENIOR t CLASS
B E R S ^
-
-
-
21.
Meadville.
Aurora, O .'
Saegertown.
Bruin.
Espyville.
Blooiuhurg.
Union City.
Burgh Hill, O.
Lenox, O.
Parker City.
Corry.
Bridgeport, O.
Millbrook.
Sewiokley.
Meadville.
Parker.
U
Wellsville, 0 .
Shaws Landing.
Meadville.
Meadville.
P jT is with great pleasure that we take up our pen to relate the past
history of this, (we say it unblushingly and witli no doubt of the trutli
of it,) the meekest as well as the handsomest class Allegheny has ever
seen. Our favorite patron saints are Moses, Job, Oscar Wilde and the
Jersey Lily. Other classes, in past years, have boasted of how many times
they have, (to use a vulgar expression, which makes us blush to do,)
“ kicked ” against the rules and regulations which did not happen to suit
their fancy. They passed through their course in turmoil, strifes, and
dissensions. O ! Lover of peace ami harmony, turn your eyes, weary with
these disgraceful sights, upon our glorious record. We have always sub­
missively yielded to “ the higher powers that be.” We have no daring
misdeeds and larks to stain our spotless character. But we have gurgled
on through the years of our sojourn here as peacefully as Mill Run, murmuringly meandering through the beautiful city below. We are as gentle
and mild of manner as a family of young turtle doves reared in the depths
of some lone and silent forest untrod by the foot of man. The Indies have
always said that we were “ just too nice for anything,” and “ perfectly
irresistable,” and we will not attempt to dispute them. Alas! that we
must say it, but it is certainly not our fault that we are handsome and
fascinating; many a tender and gentle heart will grieve and mourn when
we leave to return no more. ’Tis true that we have never been known to
lie high in class standing, a fact which our artist has taken advantage of in
his class portraiture. We will only say that we sigh for no distinction of
that description, and how incomparably insignificant that lack becomes
when our other qualities are considered. Some of us may become notorious,
hut the majority care neither for fame nor distinction. Vale/
H ISTO R IA N .
TH E
A L L E G H E N IA N .
A L L E G H E N Y COLLEGE.
21
wire-pulling power in reserve for next year’s campaign The faculty
insists on requiring Smythe to come to chapel, although they know he
has to start the night before in order to arrive there on time. Yet, in spite
of the “ scateration ” of the members, in spite of persecution, they look
forward to the dawning of a better day when the goal of their ambition
shall be reached ; when they shall make their remarks on class day, and
“ twitter their twit ” to the assembled multitude in the stone church. This
is their hope which buoys them up through trying adversity, and tinges
the dark cloud of despair with gold.
HISTO RIA N .
M E M B E R S
§
ARLY in the history of the Junior Class it evinced a great affinity for
tiie Oriental race, a specimen of which we give above, and which
symbolizes the general characteristics of the class, as well as their treat­
ment by the other members of the college and by the faculty. They
indicate their Jewish propensities by the nomadic manner in which they
recite ; no one of them has more than two Junior studies. They wander
about like a ship floundered among the icebergs, from Second prep, to
Senior recitations. Steam-geyser Plummer is almost frozen into inaction
by the cold and clammy dignity of the seniors in the class in international
law. Doane, in the 1st prep. Greek, placidly twists the tender filaments
whose bulbous roots are imbedded in the cuticular drop curtain l>enenth
his nasal protuberance. While Deane squeezes Miss-— - Miss
Mister (?)
Penno in the calculus class. Other classes are organized, but the juniors
have no “ Highmuckamuek, Grand Mogul presiding elder,” or other
official head. They have been persecuted beyond all endurance. Even
blameless Sam Long aimed vile and slanderous epithets at their headlight
at a midnight session of society ; but it is still luminous. The fair Ossolians,
with crafty woman’s wiles, tried to turn the mind of the Much-talk-one by
thrusting unprecedented glory upon her. However, with the wisdom of an
Epimethius, she declined the honor, and is holding her immeasurable
Baldwin, E. E. △ T A.
Blair, E. S. * △ 0.
Currie, F. M. * K *.
Case, W. W. * △ 0.
Day, E. W. A T A.
Deane, C. W. * K *.
Dice, W. J . * A 0.
Doane, L. L.
Guthrie, W. J . A T A.
Hotchkiss, H . V.
Guignon, E. J.
Jordan, Marion
Martin, W. H.
Newlin, A. W.
Plummer, H . W. A T A.
Smythe, W. B.
Stull, J . B.
Beach House,
543 N Main St.,
213 Water St.,
Calvin House,
Beach House,
North and Park Ave.,
Randolph S t,
Henry St.,
G74 High St.,
Stewart St.,
George St.,
491 N Main St.,
674 High St.,
Mrs. Gordon’s,
Beach House,
462 N Main St.,
674 High St.,
T otal , - - 17.
Canton, 0 .
Forreston, 111.
Latimer, 0 .
Greenville.
Deerfield, O.
Wheatland, Mo.
Akron, 0 .
Guys Mill.
Apollo.
Guys Mill.
Corry.
New Lisbon.
Franklin.
Yohoghany.
Tyrone.
Meadville.
North East.
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
A LEG 11E E Y C OLLEG E.
^SDPHDMnRE i C L A S S Y
23
When nothing else could lie thought of, a petition signed by a large num­
ber of the citizens of MeadviUe and by all the students, asking for their
removal from college, was presented to the faculty. But the crafty faculty
knew that the finances would suffer if the asses were removed from college.
Therefore a faculty meeting was held, and it was decided to put the asses
all into one class.
College terms rolled by, the asses attained the rank of Freshmen. It
was then that they began to assert themselves ; they fought with a higher
class and got whipped ; they got stage-struck and gave a play at the Opera
House. If they think anything of themselves, they will never give another.
They are.now Sopohmores, the class of ’85. And it will he a happy day for
the college when they are graduated.
^M E M B ER SK -*
“A set o’ dull conceited hashes,
Confuse their brains in college classes;
They gang in stirks and come out asses,
Plain truths to speak ;
An’ svre they think to climb Pernassus
By dint o’ Greek.”
— Burns.
R o b e rt B urns, besides being a poet, must have had the nose of a
prophet and a smell of tiie Sophomore class. AYhen he said u 1 hey gang
in stirks and come out asses,” he produced a record which is often times
too true of a college career ; but which is altogether true concerning the
class of ’85. The most of its members come from the barnyards of
western Pennsylvania and eastern Ohio. Their associations, before they
entered Allegheny’s classic halls, were with the beasts of burden, with the
swine, and in the society of the cow pastures.
Their college life has been full of trouble. When they entered college,
about four years ago, they were a persecuted set. The boys in the streets
yelled at them ; the students in college ridiculed them, and even the faculty
looked upon them with a great distrust. Their big mouths, long ears,
outlandish hravs and deformed figures were alike repulsive to seniors and
prep. The poor asses were subjected to all manner of pursecution, that
they might he driven from college, hut all to no avail, the asses stayed.
Croasnium, J . D.
Baldwin St.,
213 Water S t,
Everett, W. M., * K *.
491 X. Main St.,
Fenno, E. P.
Cottage St.,
Ferree, G. W., * K +.
213 Water St.,
Fox, C. T., * K *.
Bunce House,
Gallup, W. H., * A 0.
Mrs. Johnson’s,
Hamilton, T. J .
Hidings Hall,
Heath, Alice
Huffman, W. W., * K +. 369 Wallace St.,
Jameson, W. B.
Stewart St.,
Hillings Hall,
lo n g , S. P.
522 Randolph St.,
Merrick, D., i T i .
McQongh, Blance, K A 0. Hulings Hall,
McGren, Julia B., K A 0. Hillings Hall,
Hidings Hall,
Proctor, C. IV., * A 0.
Snyder, Clara B., K A 0 Hulings Hall,
Hidings Hall,
Thoburn, C. It.
Wade, F . C., * K *.
213 W ater St.,
Hillings Hall,
Welsh, Sallie, K A 0.
Williams, A. L.
442 Randolph St.,
Wolf, B. F.
Mrs. Gordon’s,
P m i d fn t: S aji Loncs.
Secretary :
Hamilton.
Randolph, X. Y.
Union City.
Bloomsburg.
Mt. Pleasant.
Rock Creek, 0 .
Avondale, O.
Union City.
Braden ville.
l’etrolia.
Parker City.
Mead ville.
Franklin.
Allegheny City.
Wallace, HI,
X. Bloomfield, 0 .
Calcutta, India.
Little Valley, X. Y.
Franklin.
MeadviUe.
Youngstown, O.
Sat.I.IE Wei.SH.
24
THE
A L L E G H E X Y C O LLEG E.
A L L E G H E X IA X.
♦^FRESHMAN * E L A S S^
and independent of the teacher. Sufficient time lias not elapsed for the
accomplishment of many great achievements, but we hope ere long to see
many difficulties overcome, and victories won.
H ISTORIAN.
Presilient: R. C. B ole .
Secretary :
Treasurer: C. W . F u lle r '.
M EM BERS
NAME.
CYH E past year lias been a most quiet one for the Freshman Class, but
nevertheless, we are compelled to elucidate upon the innumerable
advantages of this extraordinary class, which rusli upon our minds with
such force as to entirely overwhelm us. Considering that we were once
Preps., our social standing is good ; in fact we are solid. We can compare
favorably with the higher classes; we are still inflicted with College
speeches, and subject to the harmonious singing of our own classmen.
Situated as we are, we send our beams across the water and light many a
one, who without us would have been cast upon some nick bound coast.
Our history has been well portrayed by our artist. The early morn of our
life was passed at the plow, noon in college, and the eve—we are unpre­
pared to state. Still, we have great prediction for the future, for
“ W hat future, tho’ bright, in dim shadows shall cast
The stern recollection that hallows the brow of the past.”
But, let us urge you therefore, whatever your choiee^of future profession
may be, to take care that you do not become one-sided—that you may not
lose the “ gumption ” which every hoy ought to possess, and which does
not form a part of the curriculum of the College, hut which is developed
or lost in that part of the process of education whieli is outside of the Ixiok
Beck, W. C.
Benedict, C. W. +. K. +.
Blystone, M. C. ■!>. A. 0.
Bodley, H . S.
Bole, It. 0. *. K. T.
Brown, F . X.
Burnam, 11. C.
Clark, May
Densmore, I.
Fenno, F. E.
Frisbee, Stella
Fuller, C. W.
Goff, Mave, K. A. 0.
Graves, W . R. 4>. A. 0.
Hoag, R. O.
Kistler, C. B. A. T. A.
Lamb, G. I I .
Laubender, Rush
Linn, E. C.
Loveland, C. W.
McClurg, W. A., A T A.
McElwain, W. P.
Mitchell, A. J.
Mead, W. G.
Miller, C. M.
Patterson, H. D.
Port, Adda
Reiner, John
Riekenbrode, E. C.
Rich, E. M.
Smith, S. B., * K *.
Spear, P. M.
Stevenson, M. R.
Swisher, Byron
Taylor, L. C., A T A.
Taylor, A. A., A T A.
Terwilliger, I). L.
Thobum, If. L.
Thompson, J . IT., A T A.
Trussel, C. G.
Vickerman, .1. S.
Ward, J . M.
Wells, F. L., * A O.
Wood, J . A.
Weber, 11.
COLLEGE HOME.
430 North St.,
North & Park,
507 N. Main,
Hulings Hall,
094 High St.,
074 High St.,
Hillings Hall,
Hidings Hall,
State St.,
512 X Main St.,
Hidings Hall,
11tilings Hall,
Hidings Hall,
Hope House,
674 High St.,
674 High St.,
Hope House,
Hulings Hall,
Hulings Hall,
Hope House,
572 Randolph St.,
Hope House,
674 High St.,
Hulings Hall,
Hidings Hall,
Beach House,
Hillings Hall,
674 High St.,
Bunce House,
Hulings Hall,
674 High St.,
Bunce House,
Hulings Hall,
Calvin House,
Hulings Hall,
Hulings Hall,
Johnson House,
Hulings ITall,
21 Market St.,
Hulings Hall,
674 High St.,
Hulings Hall,
Bunce House,
Hidings Hall,
Bnnce House,
M
aye
G
off.
I". 0 . ADDRESS.
Meadville.
Jamestown, N. Y.
Meadville.
Wheeling W., Ya.
Meadville.
Pulaski.
Union City.
Union City.
Meadville.
Union City.
Union City.
Garrettsville, O.
Sewicklev.
Tomkinsville.
Warren, O.
Warren, ().
Sandy Lake.
Union City.
Richmond, O.
Lamar.
Meadville.
New Lebanon.
Fredonia.
Erie.
Derry Station.
Cleveland, O.
Union City.
Newark, N. Y.
Dempseytown.
Oil City.
Meadville.
Dempseytown.
Conneaut, O.
Oil City.
Cambridge, O.
U
11
Pollock.
Bellaire, O.
Ernsworth.
Dellas W., Va.
Merccr.
Franklin.
Wellsville, O.
Pittsburgh.
1lempseytown.
A L L E G IIE N V CGI.LEG E.
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
CTo
1m b I’ i n q0 iWoo
p
i t'a L
<so7>
v 3
l
( p r e p a r a t o r y d e p a r t m e n t .)
A place of refuge for c h ild r e n of both sexes, ami any color.
tions asked in regard to parentage.
No ques­
V.
,
J
parents or guardians having children whose intellectual capacities
"airs' are so extraordinary as to be entirely beyond the grasp of home
teachers we recommend this department of the College.
Although but seven times have the gentle zephyrs of the spring term,
laden with the sweet perfume of the festive pickup breathed their health
giving influences upon the department, yet it has established an enviable
reputation, especially in regard to the way in which it looks after the moral
and physical health of its inmates. Fearing to injure their precious minds,
and thus blight the fond hopes of their expect-to-see-Johnny-President
papas, the faculty have decreed that the preps, shall not study longer than
M l'
/
1C h a
one hour a day, and that the remaining time be devoted to some healthy
exercise, such as playing billiards, poker, &c. (Entering the battalion ig
permitted, though exhibiting their shape in citizen’s clothes to Meadville’s
culinary artists is preferred.)
The salutary effect of such a course of treatment is made apparent by
-.F o u n d e d in 1 8 7 6 -
Head Dipenserof Soothing Syrup,
DR. JO H N N Y .
the almost entire absence of any epidemic, such as congestion of the text
book or studismania, which formerly caused the good Doctors here much
trouble. In fact the only ripple that disturbed the placid waters of
Chief Nurse,
Miss H A R R I E T A . L IN N .
prepdom this year was a slight fever a la football among the seconds and
thirds.
Aids de Cradle,
J A M E S H . M O N T G O M E R Y , A. IP. N E W L IN ,
8
Inmates in F irst “ W ard ” ....
^8
“ Second
“
....
....2 8
«
“ Third
“
T otal ,....
..132
H IS T O R IA N .
| U e g k t t 2 I jt e r a r jg Jiir c t d g .
i H i t a r g jp to le fe
IN THE
(Dnde'c 0/ ihti'c (Dtganizalion.
“ iv ic u lic i,
□ RG-ANIZEE
cl
1B2 D.
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N.
30
A L L E G H E N Y C O LLEG E.
31
President—E. L. F r is b e e ,
Clerk— M . C. B i .y sto n e ,
Attorney—L. B. Long,
Sergt.-at-Arms—J . M . M cC r e a d y .
E. E. Baldwin,
W . B. Best,
H. S. Bodlev,
E . B. Bodlev,
R. B. Bole,
O. W. Braymer,
F . N. Brown,
G. O. Colder,
W . W . Case,
E. W. Day,
Percy Densmore,
W. J . Ford,
C. T. Fox,
C. W. Fuller,
W . J . Guthrie,
O. W. Hollister,
W . W. Huffman,
H . V. Hotchkiss,
L. A. Hovis,
C. B. Kistler,
W . H . Leckey,
L. 15. Long,
Norman Johnson,
W . H . Martin,
J . W. McCready,
R. T. McCready,
\V. A. McClurg,
A. J . Mitchell,
C. L. Moore,
II. W. Plummer,
E . H . Pond,
J . M. Remer,
E. M. Robinson,
C. P . Robinson,
E. W . Silver,
S. B. Smith,
H . E. Smith,
W. B. Smythe,
Byron Swisher,
A. A. Taylor,
L. C. Taylor,
C. R. Thoburn,
I>. I.. Thoburn,
J . H . Thompson,
F . J . Thomas,
C. G. Trussel,
J . M. W ard,
John Wood.
P H IL O -F p K L I^ LITERACY SOCIETY.
^ tb c fita a
FDHNDEE
ct C a tita s .
1834,
T H E A L L E G H E S I A N.
President: J . A . G uig no n .
Vice-President: D u f f M e r r ic k .
Secretary: C. W. M il l e r .
Treasurer: G. H . L a m b .
Seryeant-at-A n n s : S. E . F e r k e .
Q £ z~ M
C. M. Burkhalter,
E. E. Blair,
C. W. Benedict,
C. H . Baker,
F . M. Currie,
II. Chapman,
J . D. Croasmun,
J . W. Cary,
C. W. Deane,
W . I. Dice,
T. J . Dunn,
W. II. Everett,
E . P. Fennoe,
S. E. Feree,
Geo. Feree,
W. B. Fulton,
W. P. Grant,
W . H . Gallup,
H . S. Grimes,
T. J . Hamilton,
K. T. 11errick,
E
M
B
E
R
S
L. E. Ueeyberger,
T. J . Horner,
W. Jordan,
E. C. Linn,
C. P. Lynch,
E. L. Livingstone,
K. T. Mead,
D. Mead,
C. M. Miller,
W. 1’. Murray,
A. W . Newlin,
E . C. Rickenbrode,
P. M. Spear,
J . B. Stull,
M. R. StevensoA,
L. Terwilliger,
J . A. Vance,
W. J . Walker,
B. F . Wolff,
F . L. Wells,
W. M. Yard.
f o t'fic
tfYon fiivoiuc.ifc 6c- a f i - u a tp tz-ue.
□ RG-ANIZED
1B7D,
A L L E G H E X Y C O LLEG E.
♦ ^ D F F IE E R S ^
P r m d e n t : H e i.E N H a y e s .
S e c r e ta r y : RiTTH I.A U B3 NDER.
V ie e -P re x id e n t: B e i . v a B u r n a m .
T r tw a ir e r : M a y G o f f .
S e ry e a n t-a t-A r n ix : S a i.U F . W e l s h .
—’83.—
Helen Hayes,
Martha Hyde,
Mary Smith,
Hattie Woods,
- ’84.—
Kditli Guignon,
Alice Heath,
f l H E N p JlT E R JlR Y fo C IE T Y .
Marion Jordan,
Sallie Welsh.
—’85.—
Bird McGrew,
Belva Burnam,
Jan th a Dengmore,
Stella Frisbee,
May Goff,
Ruth Laubender,
Rubie Blackinarr,
Blanche McGough,
Clara Snyder.
—*80.—
Virginia Miller,
Arlie Mead,
Addie Port,
Edith Rich,
Loie Wilkinson.
Lvdia Wood.
“O
Ill'AYPO
TS A
0 AN
A
TO
Y2 A
IZIIM
K
O
A
.”
PREPARATORY,
Lizzie Miller,
Rebecca Stoneroad.
□REA N IZEE
1B77.
35
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
36
J 1THENIA1( LITERACY SOCIETY.
Hjp 1
~~*,T
'President: C. IV. L o v e l a n d .
Vice-President: It. A . B dzza .
Secretary: W. It. G r a v e s .
Treasurer: IV. B. J a m eso n .
Srryrant-at-Anns: W. M. W ilso n .
^
M
W. C. Beck,
G . W. Blythstone,
M. E. Blvthstonc,
G. G. Coup,
L. I.. Doane,
C. H. Harriott,
W . Hoag,
J , H. Henderson,
B. W . Hosmer,
J.-C. Kepler,
M. F. Langhlin,
W. C. Lindsey,
E
M
B
E
R
S
^
)
E. O. Leberman,
F . A. Linn,
E . II. Moore,
J . 11. Patterson,
I,. F. Perkins,
( W . Proctor,
C. 11. Quick,
II. W . Smith,
F. A. Sayers,
11. F. Tomb,
F. S. Vickerman,
A. I,. Williams.
______
C
" \ ) 3 o j\t
^ 0
i t i t ®i l # f ! t f f t # f t $ t i t
^-□RGANIZEE
jSVUR hearts thrill with emotion and our entire frame glows witli admiE
ration when we see the boys in blue and brass marching down
Chestnut Street, no two in step, but all striving to keep time with
the peurile drum corps, which can not keep step to its own music. It is
simply sublime to think of the patriotism which permeates their souls
when they are willing to die for their country fo r one study per year. The
cadets are the pride of the College, the joy of the girls, and the victims of
the greedy merchants. How the merchants smile when they see them
entering the stores, and immediately tell the clerks to mark the goods 25
per cent, higher! All or nothing is their battle cry. How the P. K.’s
smile when they see them on the streets at night. They know too well the
story of many a pick-up. If the Adj’t had not met one of these, lie would
not have known there was to be a party at Porter’s.
The battalion had only one crisis to pass through this year, but we are
happy to announce that it has fully recovered from the blow occasioned by
the resignation of one or two members. From awkward, deformed speci­
mens of humanity now appear graceful and accomplished men. The antimilitary boys should join it at the lirst opportunity. F or as the twig is
bent, etc., and we are afraid that this warning will pass by unheeded, and
they will continue to give away the College. The Editors wish to express
their entire approval of the manner in which the Major has performed his
duty, and hope that our plans will be carried out in the future as in the
past. W e also note with pleasure that the faculty is taking some interest
in the battalion, and that three of its members have visited it during the
year! The Cadets have studied so hard this year that an agent of the
Hum ane Society lias ordered the Faculty to give them a ten days’ encamp­
ment or suffer untold punishment. We trust that their constitutions are
not broken down enough to keep them from enjoying camp life and per­
forming camp duties. Keep on, fellow soldiers, in your glorious career,
and future ages will read of mighty deeds of valor performed by a second
llnnnihal, Washington, or a Grant.
1B77^
GEO. O. W EBSTER, F irst L ie u t . 4 t h U. S. I n f a n t r y ,
Instructor in M ilitary Science and Tactics.
o $ a Ifafiov t §*ta ff :
Adjutant....................................................................First Lieut. “ Good ” Day.
Quartermaster.................................................. First Lieut. “ Specs” Hollister.
9 ? o tt- ( ^ o m v M tA a io n e 6 fila -ff ;
Sergeant Major
“ Moustache C up” Martin.
Quartermaster Sergeant......................................................“ W-e-1-1” Baldwin.
Q Jrum
C o rp s
Drum Major.............................................................................. “ Mollie” Bryan.
Leader
“ Nigga-Nigga ” Livingstone.
“ Steam boat” Wood,
“ B ertie” Bousli,
“ Rev.” Lewis,
“ Reddy ” Bodley,
“ H a t” Howard,
“ C ap ” Porter,
“ Nursed ” Baker.
C o fo r £ J tt a r 6 :
Color Sergeant.............................................................................. “ Fatty ” Beck.
Color Corporal
“ V isitor” Fowler.
“
“
“ Commissary ” Lynch.
“ Mr.” Hoag.
D e a r M a m m a ,—
I thought 1 would write and tell you all about my iniliuiry company.
I am senior captain and can beat the other captains drawing my sword. I
can do it so cutely. My company stands near the drum corps because on
dress parades the music drowns the talking. They cnn not he quiet. My
lieutenants are handsome, and both have the funniest mustaches you ever
saw. I am trying to raise one, but it’s hard work. My first serg’t can only
be excelled in military manoeuvring by myself. My men are all big boys
now, and a homlier crowd you never saw. I have to laugh every time I
happen to think of their drilling, because they are so painfully awkward.
My private clerk is the second serg't, and he is a good boy. When we
march down street I am at the head, of the’ battalion and make lots of
“ mashes.” Last winter I was Major till Lieut. Webster returned. We
are going camping next month. I wish you would send me some money
to pay my wash-bill. She will not trust me longer.
Your dutiful Son,
C A PT A IN W A LTER.
g f ’fiCCiA.
Captain............................................................................“ Wallflower ” Guthrie.
1st Lieut............................................................................“ Eccentric” E . Blair.
2d Lieut......................................................... “ Etherial Somnambulist” Blair.
1st Sergt.................................................................................“ D uffer” Merrick.
2d Sergt...............................................................“ Crank Resigned ” Thoburn.*
3d Sergt
.......................................................................... “ J ilte d ” Remer.
Corporal.....................
“ Roman Catholic” Bole.
“
............................................................................ “ Peevish ” Densmore.
(jJHO you see those hoys? I do see the boys. See how sweet they look in
their blue clothes and brass buttons. 'Will the boys shoot ? (), no;
they will not shoot, for the guns might make a noise and scare them to
death. How cruel it is to make them carry such heavy gunB. See how
dirty their faces are. Do they like to drill ? No. But they like bread
and hatter and sugar. Who is that little boy in front? It is Eddie Pond.
How nicely he commands. The little, calm, sweet boy with the big sword
is Charley Robinson. Does he smile? H e does not smile. Is the other
one the M ajor? No, that is H arry Plummer. Willie MeClurg is First
Sergeant. Homer Bodlev wouldn’t play ’cause he couldn’tjie it. Do you
not think he was a naughty boy to act so ? The fat boy on the end is
\Y illie Beck. How lie sweats when he runs. The boys are all small, hut
they can make lots of noise. Here comes the Major. H e will put their
guns away, and then they must go home and go to sleep, for the guns are
too heavy for them.
Captain............................................................... “ Everlasting H ugger” Pond.
1st Lieut..............................................................“ Contracted P oet” Robinson.
2d Lieut.......................................................“ Horrible Whimsical ” Plummer.
1st Sergt.................................................................“ Wholly A rtless” McClurg.
2d Sergt..............................................................« Wonderfully Cheeky” Beck.
3d Sergt......................................................................... “ Head Strong” Bodley.
lst Corp...................................................;
±
“ W oodchuck” Hoag.
2d Corp............................................................................“ Card P la y e r” Lynch.
3d Corp...........................................
“ Mouthy Evaporation” Blythstone.
4th Corp.................................................................................“ F lan k er” Fowler.
jP tiu a tc o :
“ Gawky Geld ” Coup,
“ Wonderful Id le r” Dice,
“ Ideal Ju m b o ” Dunn,
“ Tract Jo b b er” Hamilton,
“ Future M astadon” Kerr,
“ E n ig m a” Merrick,
“ Wind P ip e r” Murray.
•Resigned.
“ Ilardlv W eened” Smith,
“ Dauntless M artyr” Wise,
“ Jinger B read” Croasinun,
“ Wicked Jack ass” Ford,
“ W ire P u lle r” Grant.
“ Joyous W orker” Patterson,
“ Whoop E ’r u p ” Frederick.
“ All L ip ” Boush,
“ Great Preparation ” Ferree,
“ Well H ardly” I.eckey,
“ Little Boy ” Long,
“ Worthless Guy ” Mead,
“ Curly Lucubration” Moore,
“ Juicy Ki ”
“ Jitnival A ddled” Wood,
“ Calefacient Text-book ” Fox,
“ Capricious E e l” Linn,
“ Catechismed J a d e ” Menges,
“ Fish Animal ” Sayers.
“ Champagne Mosquito” Morris.'
Hnwarth.
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
42
C
o m
p a n y
C .
C
o m
j
p a n y
^
D
.
P 1F present indications are prophetic of future greatness, many grand
^
men will be produced from this six-inch company. The destiny of
this Republic is safe while such specimens of young Americans are ready
at any time to lend a hand in guiding the ship of State. The Captain’s
voice will no doubt be heard in the Senate proclaiming freedom to all the
fast-asleep inhabitants thereof. The F irst Lieut, lias shown journalistic
abilities which will cause him to die a premature death. The Second
Lieut, is aspiring to be learned in legal lore, but he does not see how he
will get out of wearing a tie when he graduates. First Serg’t. Thompson
will shake the Drama from center to circumference next season, and bury
Mapleson, Abby and the rest in deep oblivion by producing his “ Sheeny
Opera Troupe ”—The Only—in an entirely new comic Opera. The troupe
will also make a specialty of Shakspeare. Second Serg’t. Smith will be
the musical director. The privates will all make their mark in the world,
and make their influence felt wherever their lot may be cast. Long live
the six-inch Company : the first at the table, the last to leave, and dear to
the hearts of their forgotten-to-pay washer-women !
T ? 0 0 much praise can not lie bestowed upon this Company for its careful
•T - movements. They would rather do wrong than right any time.
They never come to an order till all the rest have, so as to be sure they are
right. And thus it is with all their movements. “ Slow but sure” is their
motto, excepting in time of danger, when they change it to “ self-preserva­
tion is the first law of nature.” In the illustration our special artist failed
to sketch Co. D.’s retreat—they having left at the first alarm. The Captain
looks supremely happy while on dress parade in a pair of shoes he
borrowed last fall and forgot to return. SimpBon Feree is the First
Lieut., and acquits himself with great credit—when there is nothing to do.
The Second Lieut, is always calm and collected, and it is rumoured that he
never steps over a moonbeam onaccount of the great exertion necessary.
The First Sergt. being oneof the BusinessManagers of this great journal
uf art and civilization is enough to say against him. Corporal Deane is
die best elocutionist in this Company ; his favorite piece is entitled “ How
Ruby played.” W hat this company lacks in width is more than made
up in length and good looks.
©f’ficoi*:
g f(W * :
Captain.............................................................“ E ver Momentous” Robinson.
1st Lieut...................................................................“ Widow W orshipper Case.
2d Lieut.....................................................................“ Jaggy Blockhead ” Stull.
1st Sergt...............................................................“ Jewess H ugger” Thompson.
2d Sergt................................................................... “ Spiteful Brazen ” Smith.
3d Sergt................................................................... “ Crazey W hiskey” Fuller.
1st Corp.................... ........................................ “ Languidly Foppish ” Perkins.
2d Corp.............................................................................. Wood-louse” Jordan.
3d Corp.................................................................... “ Classic Monastic” Miller.
“ Heavy W eight” Best.
Captain........................................................
1st Lieut..................................................................................“ Sampson” Feree.
Id Lieut............................................................................... “ Slow Go ” Smythe.
1st Sergt
“ Willing W orker” Huffman.
2d Sergt.................................................................................“ Boiley ” Benedict.
Id Sergt.......................................................................................“ Ruby ” Deane.
1st C orp...
“ D ude” Stevenson.
id Corp...................._.
“ S kipper” Liberman.
id Corp
“ Slouchy” Bryan.
in c ite * :
■ Jriu c itc * :
“ Cow H erder” Baker,
“ Jack Headstrong” Henderson,
“ Jealous E scort” Porter,
“ Big Nosed ” Kepler,
“ Homely F rig h tfu l” Toom,
“ Barbaric B alderdash” Pickett,
“ Alcohol ” Mitchell,
“ Slouch H a t” Fellows,
“ Hysterical S h ark ” Feree,
“ Great l i e d ” Fidley,
“ Runaway Tough” Herrick,
“ Shakspeare” Merchant,
“ Sunday School” Power.
“ ?” Blythstone,
“ Egotistical” Braymer,
“ Chestnut ” Cree,
“ Steamboat” Fulton,
“ Shreck’s ” Hoag,
“ Baritone ” Hotchkiss,
“ Prim a D onna” Lamb,
“ Book-worm” Swisher,
“ G ranger” Thomas,
“ Fiddler ” Vickerman,
“ M iss” Cary,
“ G rinny” Horner,
“ Book Pedler ” Hoag,
“ ’Ritin” ’ Wilson.
g o $ r ’; t g icu t. (5co.
g) .
Q ’cbstci, §}.
J .
J .
T
first of Ju ly closes the term of Lieut. Webster at this College. For
three years lie has laboured to bring the Battalion up to its present grade
of efficiency in military affairs. To say that lie has succeeded is only to
admit the truth. Major has made many friends during his stay in Meadville, and not only is lie held in high esteem among the cadets, but also
among the citizens ; and when he returns to join his regiment he carries
with him the well wishes of a host of friends for his future prosperity and
liappiness.
h e
College
ghc
iPublications
llctjheiiidii
ED ITO RS :
H 'c i L o b t i —
ley:
u
R E S P E C T F U L L Y
© n z
vr
D E D I C A T E D
T O
'y£r
a
1 1
M A R T I N .
1c l i L
G U T H R I E .
W. W. Case, * △ 6.
R. C. Bole, * K *.
F. M. Curry, 4> K +.
F. W. Silver, A T A.
D. Merrick, A T A.
E. II. Pond, * A 8.
Published annually by the Fraternities, Fifty Cent* pee Copy.
A N D
T H O B U R N .
We love them, we love them, and who dares
To chide us for loving those few lone hairs ?
We’ve tended them carefully on account of their size ;
We’ve earnestly coveted this longed-for prize.
Their coming was welcomed witli many a shout—
When three or four hairs were observed coming out.
Would you know the cause ? Don’t speak it aloud,
But of those precious few we were fearfully proud.
(2) In infancy we stroked them so much,
And helped them along with many a touch ;
And every attention that we could give,
W e gave it to make our moustaches live.
T hree on a side and a clearing between :
’Twas seldom the hair could ever he seen.
For these we lisped our earliest prayers—
T hat fortune would favour those few lone hairs !
(3) W e sat and watched them many a time,
W hen they were short and little and exceedingly tine ;
And we almost worshipped them when they begun
To make themselves visible in the light of the sun.
Months rolled by, the last week hied
W hen the down on our lips sickened and died.
A great load of sorrow our hearts now bear
When we look in the glass and see nary a h a ir!
(4) ’Tis gone ! ’Tis gone ! And we think of them now,
Of the downy lip and troubled brow.
’Twas there we nursed them, ’twas there they died—
Many have seen them or else they lied !
•Say we are foolish, ami call us weak,
For attempting sucli an impossible freak—
But we love them, we love them, and this is our prayer—
That some day we can raise a good crop of hair.
I’he gatnpus.
J . A. Vance,
Miss JIattie Woods,
0 . W . Deane,
W. B. Best,
C. W . Proctor,
E . H . Pond.
Published monthly, One Dollar per year.
gl(c grcsm/t.
il.
W. Plummer, Editor-in-Chief.
W. J . Guthrie, Vice-Ed itor-in-Chief.
Published monthly by A T A Fraternity, through Chapter
Alpha, at Allegheny College.
g i l t IJJoBilic.
Organ of Ossoli Literary Society.
BASE BALL.
^oun§ ^ jjLn’ii
y&hltitian Wteocialionfa
Executive Secretary: C. M . M il l e r .
President: C. W . P roctor.
Vice-President: W . H . M a r t in .
Secretary: A. W. N e w l in .
Treasurer: Miss H a t t ie W oods.
COLLEGE
COM M 1 T T E E S :
Captain
J a i l CDmniittE8 i .
Ghthrie.
Best.
Lynch.
Taylor.
Gallup.
Remer.
c Day
p Dice
s s E. E. Blair
- - -
Free.
Carr.
Moore.
DELTA
c Day
p Silver
s s E. E. B lair
Heyberger.
Guignon.
Fenno.
Murray.
SayerS.
Martin.
Rickenbrode.
Captain
c Murray
p Dice
s s Johnson
Grimes.
- - -
- -
Brown.
Cary.
Y o u n g L a d is s ' T am p B ran cE S o c ie ty ,
Miss Maye Goff—President.
- -
1 b Blystone
2 b Guignon
3 b B lair
- Dice,
1f Case
mf
r
Wells
f
Proctor
Smith.
Cuptain
S o u th M sa d u illB P ra y B r M aB tiug :
Herrick.
1f Murray
r f McCready
m f Fuller
NINE.
SO PH O M O R E
Buzza.
- Day.
PHD NINE.
S o u th M B advillB i
Stevenson.
- -
C a p ta i n ....................................Plummer.
1 b Baldwin
1 f Plummer
2 b Best
m f Merrick
3 b McCready
r f Guthrie.
N o rth P p I b S u n d a y S c h o o l i
Proctor
- -
1 b Best
2 b Stull
3 b E. S. Blair
S u n d a y A ft e r n o o n .
V a llo n ia S, S, CommittBB i
NINE.
Miss Arlie Mead—Secretary.
Tomb.
c Day
p Dice
s s Case
NINE.
- - - - - - -
1 b Merrick
2 b Huffman
3 b Blair
T Y R A N N IC A L
Dice.
1 f Miller
m f Long
r f Thobnrn
NINE.
C a p ta in .................................... Wheeler.*
c Montgomery
1 b Tingley
1f Wheeler
p H yde
2 b Reed
mf Haskins
s s Miss Linn
3 b Hamnett
r
f
*Takes his position in June.
Webster.
TH E
g>
A L L E G H E N IA N .
!§am j
$ lumuter.
Of a Junior named Plummer I sing,
A sage and a scholar is he ;
But he ne’er goes to chapel,
And I fear that his “ P ap ” ’11
Severely chastise him for this.
2
Oh ! a gay correspondent is lie,
And his stale jokes and puns you can see
A t least once a week,
If you should but peek
A t the paper debased by his trash.
3
In his classes he commonly “ flunks,”
P or his lessons he doesn’t prepare ;
F or he goes it on cheek,
If I may so speak
Suns offence to vonr classical ear.
4
As a masher he’s won some repute,
And none dare this statement to refute;
F or as you all can see,
A swell youth is he
From his head to the sole of his hoot.
5But we mustn’t forget his mustache,
If that sickly growth thus we can c a ll;
O, he strokes it with care,
And fiercely doth glare
If you it but dare to deride.
6.
But, oh ! have you seen his new suit ?
F or this is the acme of a l l ;
Why, lie’s grown (juite a “ dude,”
Witli conceit he's imbued,
As he struts round the town with it on.
7But now we will give him a rest,
And advise him to start out in quest
Of a little more wit,
I f ’tis possible yet
To a youth so deficient in sense.
T H E CULVERITES.
,Q | ND there was a boarding hall on College Hill, which is in Meadville,
Vj%3 where, for many years, were wont to collect the inhabitants of all
nations, yea, even from Ohio, to get much learning. And the
dwellers therein were called Culverites, and they did wax strong as to
casting crackers and playing cards. Behold, it came to pass on the
eleventh "month of the year ’82, while it was yet night and the Culverites
slumbered and Blept on the soft sides of planks, there was a cry of “ Fire,”
and immediately was there a great shaking together of dry bones of the
dwellers therein. And they were excited, and knew not what they did.
Yea, it is even told unto this day how Robinson the Parkerite did let down
the shovel with a string and cast the looking glasses to the wind. There
was much rejoicing in the land when Calder cast his watch on a rock and
came out of the window by a rope. And Wiggins, Jr., a Port Perryite,
did not have so much as a collar whereby he could clothe his nakedness,
and he liideth in a snow drift. W hen the chief educator, Dr. Hammett,
heareth the cry, he sprang for the secret box to see if there was enough
insurance on the building, and he smileth when he thinketh of much lucre
with which he could build a better dwelling. The fire burneth and con­
sumed! the dwelling, and no one unto this hour knoweth the cause. Thus
the hall did vanish as a stew before a hungry prep. I t went the way of
every highly insured building. The Culverists were scattered : some to
the north, which is the North Pole ; some to the west, where dwelleth the
Amazons. Others, under the leadership of Prof. Reid, did hire Fort
Douglas, and will there remain till the hash temple is rebuilded. The
Culverites lifted up their voices and spake unto Prof. Reid : “ What doeth
we now ? B’e have no where to lay our heads. We asked for coffee and
ye gave us hot water ; we asked for meat and we received leather. We
asked for baths in order to w ish away our filth, and ye said ‘ Nay !’
W here dwell we now since our habitation is no more 7" He saith “ Get
unto Fort Douglas, which is at the foot of the hill.” And they arose and
g o t! Silence and desolation now reigneth on the hill. Only the shingles
which were carried on the chapel are left to mark the spot of Culver’s
former glory. The seat of action is changed. It ought to be repented in
sackcloth and- ashes, but it is not so. The Culverites obey not the warning,
but still play much nickle-a-corner and other games not mentioned in the
catalogue. O ! Culverites, take heed lest the Faculty seeth your wickedness
and maketh you skip. Reform your ways, and next Fall will you again
dwell in the hash temple which is now promised for you.
MUSICAL
ORGANIZATIONS.
C H A P E L C H O IR ,
Pianist—H attie A. Woods.
Cornet—C. M. Burkhalter.
V O C A L IS T S .
Soprano—Helen M. Hayes,
Alto—Clara B. Snyder,
Tenor—M. R. Stevenson.
Bass—C. M. Miller.
D ELTA THU DELTA,
1st Tenor—W. B. Best,
2d Tenor—E. W. Day,
1st Soprano—F. W. Silver,
2d Soprano— II. W. Plummer,
1st Alto—W. J . Guthrie,
2d Alto— W. A. McClurg,
1st Bass—E. E. Baldwin,
2d Bass—E. E. Blair.
K A PPA A LPHA THETA,
1st Soprano—Sallie Welsh,
2d Soprano—Lydia Wood,
1st Alto—Clara Snyder,
2d Alto—Virginia Miller,
TH E H ELM ET O RCHESTRA
—of th e —
F H I D E L T A T H E T A F R A T E R N IT Y .
1st Violin— W. H . Murray,
2d Violin—W. R. Graves,
P H I K A P P A F S I G-LEE CLUB.
Leader - - 1st Tenor—S. B. Smith,
2d Tenor—S. J . Brown,
Organist - - - -
- Deane.
1st Bass—C. W . Benedict,
2d Bass—W. M. Everett.
F . C. Wade.
FH I DELTA TH ETA QUARTETTE.
T enor—W . H . Gallup,
Soprano—L. B. long,
Alto—E . II. Pond,
Bass—F. L. Wells.
Cornet—E. H . Pond,
Pianist—J . A. Vance.
W h a t fish does Sayers most resem ble ?— A shad-oh !
W h y is M ile. H . lik e an oyster ?— Good but not good looking.
W h y are Sophom ore girls the best in C o lle g e '!— B ecause they are.
W h y is “ J im lik e a hand organ ?— Because she goes with a Crank.
W h y are th e E ditors lik e a ch air?— Because they are liab le to be sat
upon.
W h y is L ish. Robinson lik e a wagon wheel ?— Because he is always
tired.
W h y are Toom b’s feet lik e a cam el ?—T h ey can go a long tim e without
water.
W h e r e was G rim es when the ligh t went ou t?— W ith both arms around
his girl.
W h y is C harlie M iller in the G reek class lik e Cain ?—B ecause he is a
m arked m an.
W h y is B est lik e a city near the equator ?— Because there is m ore lo n g i­
tude than latitude.
W h y is it called V oltaic electricity ? — Because V oltaire discovered it.
A nsw er by T aylor First.
W h y is P erkins the m ost dejected boy in C ollege ?— Because he is alwavs
down as to h is upper lip .
W h y would one naturally suppose Best to be a hunter?— Because lie is
often seen with a fowler.
W h y is the atm osphere o f H am m ett's room lik e the present generation ?
— It is the air o f a ll the ages.
W h y are the C ollege girls lik e poor m athem eticians ?— Because they
take no prid e in their figures.
W h y is a certain young lady in C ollege lik e a huckleberry ?— B ecause
sh e belongs to the Ile a th fam ily.
W h y are the T aylor Brothers lik e a toothache and an u gly tem per ?__
B ecau se they alw ays go together.
W h a t is the difference between a rumor and a college professor?— One
gains currency and the other does not.
W h a t is the difference between a side-w alk and one of Grant’s schemes?
— O ne is under foot, the other under hand.
W h y is W ells in vacation lik e a traveller in the H o ly L an d ?— Because
h e is bound to see Jordan before he returns.
W h y are the girls lik e the cadet rifles?— T h ey are a com bination of
bang, bustle and bands ; they need powder to go o f f ; and the boys take
considerable stock in them .
CULLED
C R A N K ISM S.
Kistler.—Xo, not pretty,—massive.
Miss Linn.—The lass with the Long shanks.
V ickerm au.— “ D u hist crank.”
The College Girls.—Maidens withering on the stalk.
The College Sidewalks.—Among the breakers.
Miller —H is music hath a rank unsavoury air.
Chapin Linn.—“ I hold the keys to the knowledge of this Fraternity.”
Guthrie.—I was not ignoble of descent.
Day.—Ignorant of guilt I fear no shame.
Best.—“ O, I wish I were a g ir l; how I would squeeze myself!”
Epelio Don Sanoho Mnrtineo.—A little round, fat, oily man of God.
Swisher.—So singular a sadness must have a cause as strange as the
effect.
“ Kid ” Robinson.—
If I can check my love I w ill;
If not, to compass her I'll use my skill.
Lukin Taylor.—
Of manners gentle,
Of affection m ild ;
In wit a woman,
Simplicity, a child.
The Faculty.—
Birds in their little nests agree,
And ’tis a shameful sight
W hen children of one family
F all out and chide and light.
The Meadville Girl.—
She toils not, neither does she spin,
Yet how she takes ye student in !
Mnm’zeUe M artha.—
“ Man may come and man may go,
B ut she goes on for ever.”
“ Bob” Hoag.—
She kissed me, my beautiful darling
I drank the delight of her lip,
The universe melted together,
The old man appeared with a whip.
The vision then vanished before me,
I heard a far rustle of wings,
The kings of the earth were as beggars,
And beggar descriptions the stings.
Burkhalter.—I am in the waist two yards about.
Gallup.—O, do not slander him for he is kind.
Brown.—Canst thou thunder with a voice like his ?
E . E. B lair.—Why so pale and wan fond lover?
Plum mer.—H is visage was so marred, more than any other man.
Calder.—Those who saw him after a defeat looked in vain for any trace
of vexation.
Baldwin.—Seest thou this man, wise in his own conceit: there is more
hope of a fool than of him.
Bent Long.—“ Give me Liberty(st) or give me death.”
Jones.—“ I am of Jones and Brinker I would have you know.”
“ Lish ” Robinson.—A man who has arrived at such a pitch of selfesteem that he never mentions himself without taking off his hat.
Freshm an B. B. Club.—
A la s! regardless of their doom
The little victims play or try to play.
Professor H .—
Deep versed in books but shallow in himself.
“ Jim ” Robinson.—
A dashing youth and a little sleigh
Those two,
Flying along on a wintry day,
So blue !
Lady bows with winning grace,
Smiles play o’er his handsome face,
So gay !
Bright eyed youth and rosy maid ;
Beware!
Gn his breast her head is laid ;
Take care !
Dashing over the glistening snow,
Strikes a rock and over they go ;
Oh my I
Now young men who go to ride,
So fa s t;
Remember how this poor boy sighed,
A t last.
If you must your ladies kiss;
Let it be when you say this :
Good bye.
Laughlin.—
—None but thyself can be thy parallel.
—Opinion’s but a fool that makes us scan
The outward habit of the inward man.
A L L E G H E N Y C O LLEG E.
56
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
Frisbee.—
Over the ice he gliil,
Into the water he slid,
Howled like a tiger ;
Flashed all his molars bare,
Fiercely his eyes did glare,
Almost he seemed to swear,
Such was liis anger.
And as he slowly rose,
Dripped all his Sunday clothes
Faster and faster.
There on the bank meanwhile
Grimly his comrades smile,
“ H ard luck ” is what they style
H is sad disaster.
Clara Bell.—
Randolph. S tre e t B illiard P arlo r,
D.
Merrick,
R. C. Bole,
E. Merriek.
Second PrB p, Foot H all T eam ,
Heyberger,
Bryan,
Bodley,
Long,
Boush,
Merrick,
Huzza,
Porter,
Livingston,
McCrendy,
Iligbey,
Kerr,
Smith,
Carr.
P h i DBlta ThBta W h ist Club,
Pond,
Johnson,
Case,
Blair.
D elta T a u D elta H ila rity Club.
Best,
Merrick,
Here I stand and don’t you see ?
Don’t you wish that you were me ?
I have a lover and you have none,
Don’t you wish that you had one ?
Thompson.
H ieyole Club,
McClurg,
Huffman.
Mitchell.—
—Oh, it is excellent
To have a giant’s strength ; but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.
W. A. McClurg,
F lirting Club,
Benedict,
Gallup,
Sam Long,
Chas. Miller.
P h i K a p p a P si F o u r,
Deane,
In a parlor fine, on sofa red,
“Cub” Thoburn was sitting; y u m !
W ithin his arms a maiden fair,
Upon bis coat her golden hair ;
H e awoke to find ’twas but his chum
T hat he was hugging in bis bed.
Wade,
Robinson,
Feree.
R o ller S kating Club.
W . Hoag,
“ B rick” Bodley,
Sion Smith.
E a v e s D ro p p ers Com bination,
Rev. Ammi B. Ilyde,
Miss Linn.
K a p p a A lp h a T b e ta D arn in g Club,
Virginia Miller,
Mae Goff,
Blanche McGough.
T he A m e n Club,*
1st.
2nd.
Amen, Croasmun.
Amen, Buzza.
Leader, Hamilton.
2nd. Leader, Terwilliger.
*The landlady can not work on account of too much noise.
practice daily.
They
58
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
.1L L E G 1 IE N Y C O LLEG E.
" \)3 c MOOUvtX WrU, Kq
W h e r e the C ollege Bulletin Board has gon e?
How Martin got hit on the nose when his back was turned ?
W hy Jam ison always passes the crackers at Hulings ?
W h y Bent lo n g pronounces alius Alice ?
W h y Day trembles when lie reads orders to the battalion ?
H ow often Jones spent seventy-five cents in Buffalo ?
H ow the battalion managed to live after the resignation of “ C ub”
Thoburn ?
W h a t house Frederick was fired out of ?
H ow much Ferree was frightened when discovered climbing up to the
top of a porch of a certain house on Cottage St ?
W hy Stull never wears a necktie ?
W h y B est left his hat hanging on a lam p-post?
W h y D ice thinks that waltzing is nourishing?
W h y Baldwin didn’t pay the oysters to Thompson ?
H ow Hamilton inflates his jaws ?
W h a t has become of the second prep, pins ?
W hose baby carriage Bert. B lair was wheeling at Chantanqua Lake ?
W h y Lamb wipes his nose with his sleeve instead of his handkerchief ?
H ow Rest enjoyed his gambol under the chestnut tree ?
W h y the seniors don’t wear “ plugs ?”
W h e t h e r Ritezel or Cubbison laid Plummer under the table ?
W hy Wise has hair in the palm of his hand ?
W h y “ Lish ” hasn’t bought a new suit ?
W h y W illiams doesn’t wash his nose before he goes calling ?
W hose whiskey bottle was taken at the temperance social. Also who
st ale the photos ?
W h a t Terrwilliger does with his hands when sleigh riding ?
W ho riddled Blair and Thompson’s room ?
W ho stole Cree’s bay rum ?
W h a t Livingstone did up the canal that ranks him the cheekiest boy in
Co'lege ?
I f Baldwin wants another tooth-pick ?
W h e n a new boarding h all w ill be built ?
W h e n G uthrie and Guignon will p iss in orthography ?
♦^HULINGS * HALL^
/Oj L I.E G H E N Y College is progressive : some new features are added
agT each year. However, there are about twenty-five less new features
this year than la s t; yet she does not stand still. Like a cross-eyed
clam on the slimy, oozy hanks of the windingCussawago she moveth. She
was among the first to adopt co-education of the sexes, and the most bitter
opponents of the measure are slow ly being convinced of its success—
convinced that a lady can take the same course as a gentleman without
wearing her hair short, using the back of the chair in front of her for a
foot rest, smoking cigarettes, or becoming otherwise masculine. On the
other hand she has proved the stronger magnet, and the hoys begin to part
their hair in the middle and wear bangs. Woman is equal to man : she
cannot throw a hall so far, she cannot drink so much beer or smoke so
many cigars in a day. But we give an illustration taken from real life at
H ^ n g s Hall which proves that she can play leapfrog equally as well.
There are some things she can do better than he can. If you balance
the books you will find them nearly equal. This is clear, nothing clearer
except the uniformity of nature and Hollister’s “mash,” yet men are arriv­
ing at this conclusion by a process of reasoning slower than all other tilings
except coral formation or the Ixiard of control. It is pretty generally
conceded here now, and the girls have all the advantages which boys have.
It is a result which their equality witli boys long demanded, but men have
been slower in bringing about a happy consumation than evolution or
Miss Linn’s courtship. Co-education was a grand tiling, but Allegheny
College (mirabile dictu) has gone a step further, and now believes firmly in
the co-feeding of the sexes, the greatest and best new feature of the year.
East hall was the home of the boys; it went up in smoke and ashes in the
cold and bleak month of December. The great hearted girls saw the hoys
shivering in the cold, their trunks pulled up in the snow, they saw them
without a place to lay their heads, and said, “ W hat doth hinder the boys
from hoarding with us? We will go above—(That is to the second story).
We will let the,hoys live down below; we will solace their grief stricken
hearts with gentle words, we will make their sad hours gay with our combeoncerts. The Highmuckamucks reluctantly consented. The boys came
to stay, fortunately there was for each hoy and girl, one plate, one cup and
saucer, one knife and fork, one spoon and one butter dish. After all were
provided for in this elegant manner, there were still lett for visitors, one
saw-edged plate, one rheumatic fork and one goblet minus the first story.
It sometimes happens that a very tall young man gets mashed 011 a very
short young lady; such unfortunates enjoy special good fortune in the new
arrangement. They ought to pray every day God bless the stairs, the
graduated equalizer of the inequalities of stature. If the girl is just a little
shorter, she stands on the first step and hangs over the banister; he stands
011 the floor on the other side and hangs over the same banister.
If lie is
very tall and she is very short, she stands on the third step and he stands on
the floor. In this way a dwarf might bring her lips in the same horizontal
plane with those of a giant, a result which seems to he very much sought for
by those in the state referred to above, perhaps because they can talk with
less exertion. Since the admission of the hoys, board has been from 15 to
25 cents less per week. Boarding is on the co-operative plan and diet lias
not been changed : we were never good in mathematics, neither do we
know much about the science of logic, yet it seems clear to our minds that
the above fact speaks well for the eating capacity of the young ladies. It
was a happy day when Allegheny College threw open her halls to young
ladies. W e have not space to write the further benefits from co-feeding,
but for further detail would refer our readers to Miss H . A. Linn, Grand
Areli Duchess.
♦^ETHELBEHT’S E S CAP E D
O n e E v e n in g when Bert Blair was returning from—no matter where,
he was attacked by two men who were waiting to rob him of his brass
watch and washing ticket. Burt struggled manfully to escape. After all
his aforesaid valuables had been taken, he drew his revolver, trembled but
could not fire, and at last when the robbers had walked away, turned and
ran ail the way home. He attempted to bribe our reporter, but this
journal has reporters who are above being bribed, and thus is given to the
college another chapter in the eventful life of Ethelbert E. Blair.
^SOMEWHAT EXTENUATEf l ^
O n e M o r n in g not long ago, Prof. Goff walked up to the table in chapel,
opened the bible. The students smiled serenely, it meant no recitations
for half an hour at least. First he read about the Ilishtites the Hebronites
and several other extinct species. Prof. H. began to look uneasy. Prof.
has a great liking for preps, and mourns and is sad if they do not get full
benefit of his fatherly counsel, during the first bell. The chapel chairs
became hard. Every one was tired before the scripture lesson was half
over, except those who have recitations the first bell. A t length lie
stopped ; he did of a verity close the bible and sit down, but with a volume
of reserved steam. The most casual observer could see there was more to
follow. After singing Prof. again assumed a devotional attitude, lie
opened up like Gattling guns stocked for a whole campaign, and everyone
prepared for an all day session. H e prayed for the heathen; lie prayed
for the Christians; lie prayed for the speedy cure of Pawpawaiekoshanks,
King of the Esqumaux, laid low with a chill blain; and for Sun burn tr
s iow, King of the Apaches. H e asked a blessing on the downy firstlings
of C. It. Thoburn’s lip, and for the sty on Fox’s eye. H e prayed for
colleges in general and Allegheny College in particular; first for the
college collectively then individually, then stopped to rest. The break in
the monotony aroused the students ’from their t irpor which Prof. Goff’s
soporiferous prayers always produce. But the end was not yet. lie had
only stopped to rest. He threw his weight on the other foot, changed
the position of his cranium, inhaled all the air in the vicinity, and then
struck out on a new tack. Seconds passed, minutes were swallowed up in
hours. I 11 the meantime, where were the students ? It was fun at first,
but as the hour hand of the chapel clock began to approach the
perpendicular, the preplings liegan to whine for their milk and slid out.
The fresides longed for their gruel and followed them. All the sophs,
had skipped except Gallup, who had fallen asleep during the first quarter.
The Juniors and Seniors were gone. The facility rose and rubbed their
knees, Uammet pulled him timidly by the sleeve, but in vain. They left
him. lie still continued. The whole community was excited. They
tried to choke him off in vain ; a happy thought struck the faculty ; ( The
first new one since the war.) They sent for Buzza. llew entquietlyupinto
chapel, just as Goff was repeating - “ May we so live, that when the last
trumpet soundeth ”— Buzza shouted one of his jewhilikin war whoops.
Goff directed his eagle eye toward the chapel ceiling and said, “Lord I
am ready.”
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
62
A
SAD
TRAGEDY.
A L LEG H E N Y C O LLEG E.
12. An Irish termagant, by Jings,
But senior did feel cool
As Florida’s transparent springs
While looking at the bull.
Come listen to a tragic tale,
W hich I will now relate,
Of Cree, a little preppy frail,
And of a senior great,
13. But thus he reasoned in his mind :
“ I am a soldier brave,
And do this dog and Irish fiend
Presume to make me cave ?”
2.
Who went to gather nuts one day,
When autumn leaves were brown,
And spend a while in artless play
Some distance out of town.
14. It was his last his only chance,
H e started off right quick ;
The termagant with hellish glance
Cried “ Sick ’um, Tige, sick ! sick !”
3.
They found a spreading chestnut tree
W ithin a quiet grove,
W here oft did rural wooers flee
To whisper gentle love.
4.
The topmost branches bent their bows
The nuts so heavy were ;
They strained themselves with fearful throws,
B ut could not fetch a burr.
5.
A t last, tired out with fruitless work,
Said senior fop to Cree :
“ Hold on till I my coat shall jerk,
And I will climb the tree.”
6.
So taking off his costly frock—
The cut was latest French—
As chamois climb from rock to rock
He climbed from branch to branch.
7.
H e reached the branches small forthwith,
And shook with all his m ig h t;
He heard the rattling nuts beneath :
It filled him with delight.
8.
H e raised his voice in gladsome call
To Cree, his little chum :
“ H ello ! do you not hear ’em fall,
Why so confounded mum ?”
9.
A voice resounded from below
W hich filled his heart with fear,
Reverberating o’er the brow
Of hills both far and near :
10. “ Come down ye deevil that ye are,
A stalin’ all me nuts,
Or Tige will make you wish ye war
W ith less devourin’ guts.”
11. The culprit trembling, white with fear,
Descended with great c a re :
There was a sight liis soul to stir,
And elevate his hair.
15. The dog gave one tremendouse bound,
(It would have made you laugh,)
And when Ids opened jaws came down
They closed on senior’s calf.
Ifi. Howling he rolled upon the grass
In agony of pain,
And cried “ My calf, alas, alas !
Why did I not refrain ?”
17. “ Och, now, ye thavin’ vagabont,”
Said sunburnt woman dark ;
“ Ye’ll promise me ye’ll niver rant
Ag’in across me park.
18. And I will call me doug away,
An’ let ye saunter ham e;
F u r well I ken fur many a day
Ye’ll hae a leg that’s game.”
19. The senior made a solemn vow
H e never more would steal,
And, dressed by some kind doctor, now
His wounded leg is well.
20. Now shall I to the reader say
Who this performance did ?
I will, but don’t you g iv e ’t away—
It was the Parker “ kid.”
Mo r a l :
21. Beware of Irish termagant,
Beware of steei-fanged b u ll;
Or late you will, like kid, repent
And call yourself a fool.
G3
C4
A LI.E G H E N Y CO LLEG E.
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
uutj
Go
caress
The new Hoarding Hall.
Prof. T.’s attendance nt Chapel.
Baldwin’s Mustache.
Lake George.
Guthrie's Orthography.
Miss Linn’s Marriage.
Vickerman’s “ Mocking Bird. ”
6VC|H Y
does the policeman shake tlie kids ? What liave
the kids done ? The kids have taken the Plr.loFranklin signboard.
W ill he put them in jail ? No, if
they give him five dollars he will let them go.
Have they
got so much money ? Are their pa’s rich ? No, they are
poor hoys, but they are very good hoys.
Next Sunday
they will go to Corry or to Saegertown. or to Union City
to preach, and to tell the people how to be good.
Then
the good people will pass the hat and give them some
money.
When they come back they will pay their fine,
and will not have to go to jail.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
<i.
7.
Who carried the chairs out of the chapel ?
Who put the shingles on top of the chapel ?
Why does Prof. G. go so often to Pittsburg?
Who stole the bulletin hoard ?
W hy don’t Plummer go to chapel ?
Why does Dr. H . always get a pass?
Where did Prof. R. get the money to put down his board walk ?
8. Why did Bodley quit the battalion ?
. 9. Who tore up the board walk ?
10. W hy does Day always v(w)ind(ow)icate his classes ?
11. Who huUdozes Prof. HamUl?
12. Who put the cow in the chapel ?
13. W hat school was Bodley at that had six markers?
14. Who taught the Hulingites how to play leap frog ?
15. Why W. Hoag wanted to dance in his stocking feet?
A L L E G H E N Y CO LLEG E.
^ o lle g e
Al'OHN was a Port-er for a certain young lady
1 who lives not far from the Court House.
C^[i
.
-r
Y Some said that she was his Porter. John
said so too. John was mash-ed, happy and
con-ten-ted, until one even-ing when mis-chief
makers — who is free from them — con-spir-ed
against him. It was the night of a par-ty. John
was to take his sweet heart. But the mis-chief
mak-ers had wag-er-ed that she did not dare at­
tend the par-ty with another boy. That night
when John ap-pear-ed for his girl he had no
over-coat with him.
John-nie, go home and get
your over-coat.” That is what his girl said : and
John did not dare dis-obey. When John re-turned
his girl had gone to the par-ty with another boy.
Then John was very mad, and went to the par-ty
all alone. He would not speak to his girl for a
whole week. He has not re-cov-er-ed from his
pout yet. John, it was not prop-er to get mad,
you should re-mem-ber that you had your over­
coat if you did not have your Hat.
{0 h r o n ic e e s .
S e p t . 24.—Class leader at Stone Church : Are you a professor ?—
L. B. L. : No, I am a prep.
O ct. 4 .—G allup keeps awake through one whole session o f society.
O ct . 10.—Lynch discovers that Wood will not float.
O ct . 30.—Sm ythe, by an extraordinary effort, gets out of h is own way.
Nov. 1.—Dr. Hyde assists a cow down the chapel stairs in the best
possible manner.
Nov. 1.—Dialogue in chapel. First lady : Is that oil on the floor'!
Second lady (putting down her hand and then smelling the tips of her
fingers): No, it is not oil. First lady : What is it then ? (See article of
same date above).
Nov. 12.—Silver comes to chapel.
D ec . 10.— D eane sm ells fire in h is room.
D ec . 20.— Boys all take Christm as presents to their ma’s.
J a n . 10.—One half of Ossoli Society goes coasting and the other half
fines them fifty cents each.
J a n . 10.— B ole skim s o’er the ice like a bird and d u ly
.
Other
party : “ Too b a d ; too had.”
J a n . 19.— W ade guages the sun witli a telescope.
F e b . 1.—Hamilton bulldozes Ward.
F e b . 7.— Board of Control comes out, sees its shadow, and goes back
into its winter quarters till spring.
M a r . 1.— B ill M cClurg takes his overshoes to a party.
M a r . 12.—Thompson breaks three lamps at the Creoles.
A p r il 10.— Prof. Goff in chapel : A nyone com ing to m e will find a
cuss(tom er).
M ay 4.— D eane gets stuck in calculus.
M ay 4.—Brown quotes the follow ing from M oses: “ There com eth one
after m e the latchet o f whose shoes, &c.”
M a y 6.—Dr. Hyde preaches in Stone Church ; students suddenly change
their creed.
M ay 7. —W ard puts H . S. on More's pillow, and latter com plains that
h is offensive breath interferes with his sleep.
T H E A L LE G H E N IA -V.
M ay 10.—W ard smokes and----- . Ask the man who cleaned the coal
bucket.
M ay 15.—Prof. Reid tells Sam Long in Greek class that lie is not to be
relied on by M iss
.
M ay 15.—Calculus class finds the board intensely interesting, but the
sound of the bell relieving.
May 18.—Geology class finds a mastadon, a megatherium, a cane bear,
and
and
well, no matter.
19.—Miss M
intimidates the local editor.
M ay *25.—Grant don’t call a t
, Randolph Street.
M
28.—Mr. T. speaks four times to his girl in one call four hours in
M a y
a y
length.
Is about to speak again when bell rings.
30.—Boys cut a great swell in blue and brass.
J une 6.—Mr. F . suddenly surprised M iss
more so.
M ay
—
F O L L O W E R S
O F —
DR . H Y D E & MISS L IN N .
Baldwin,
Best,
Blair,
Bole,
Case,
Day,
Frederick,
Guthrie,
Hoag,
Huffman,
Kistler,
Long,
MeClnrg,
Merrick,
Pond,
Robinson (1),
Robinson (2),
Silver,
Thom pson, B . M.
A L L E Q H E N Y CO LLEG E.
T H E . IA L E U H E N IA N.
GREAT
JJS IM flJ «
T he above reward will be paid to any person who will furnish one or
more of the following articles :
Enough paint to cover the cheek of Best.
A better record for boils than Plummer’s, Job’s excepted.
A piece of court-plaster large enough to cover the lip of Baldwin.
A more ruby complexion than that of the “ K id .”
A whetstone that can make Laughlin less dull.
A microscope sufficiently powerful to discover Guthrie’s mustache.
A medicine that will alleviate the agony of “ Lish. ”
A disenfeetant that will sweeten the breath of “ Portage. ”
A powder to cover Thompson’s blushes.
Anything that will bleach Martin’s nose.
A hat that will discount that of Williams’s.
I I I
I stood on the edge of an overhanging table-rock at Niagara, and looked
down into the misty abyss below. The scene was sublime. Never will I
forget it. While gazing on this wonderful picture of nature, I looked
backward, and saw a huge crack extending clear across the rock on which
I was standing. I turned and with hasty steps reached terra lirma, and
with a noise of thunder, distinctly heard above the roar of the waters. That
mass fell—O n e Y e a r L a t e r .
ijr o fc a a o i.
«
•
The best looking man in college, professor of Mathematics and Astronomy
is a universal favorite in Meadville. H e has hut one fault, and some
mistake it for a virtue ; going to Pittsburgh, and not getting back in time
to hear recitations on Monday. Grant, the senior, accompanied him on
one of these excursions. They had a big time to-gether ; Grant told book
agent stories, and Goff related his experience in getting up an arithmetic.
When they reached New Castle, a newsboy went through the ears selling
papers. Grant and Goff looked at him wistfully, but did not invest. It
was just as well that they did not, for a colored lady came into the ears
witli a morning paper, and took a seat in front of them. We blush to tell
i t , but Grant and Goff read the paper over the negro woman’s shoulder.
Was not that niggarly ?
§|o6a-cco © x p c tic v ice .
I commenced using tobacco, in all shapes and forms known to man, at
the premature age of three years. I continued in its use until the age of
nineteen ; and I wager that I could burn more cigars in a specified time
than many a young man of to-day. On Christmas morning of my
nineteentli year, after taking my annual hath, I lighted a line cigar, which,
by the way, a friend had given me the day before, and seated myself
before my fire to enjoy its narcotic effect, As I sat before my fire musing
and puffing, I heard the door behind me softly opening. I turned my
head, when suddenly I was seized by the shoulder. H orror of horrors !
I was in the iron grasp of my father. I felt myself lifted bodily from my
c h a ir; the room swam before my eyes; stars appeared in the firmament
of my brain, and all became blank—
*
*
*
*
*
*
When I recovered conseisousness, I made the strong resolve that I would
never more touch the vile weed, and from that day to this, the vivid,
stinging remembrance of that Christmas morning has kept me from all
temptation.
crn£> ftio £ o v u — f l i t :
♦^ R *n *m K
Baker,
Clark,
1.
w * n * R * M * s^
Fowler,
Fellows,
Jones,
Kline.
The gi od Am Mi, may his tribe increase,
A cow in the chapel found ;
He, the Janitor, called, and the cow she b iwleil
As she ran in the chapel ’round.
Whoop de doodle, doodle doo,
Am mi and the bovine.
‘T'oo&fe.
2.
The door of the chapel opened was,
And the cow her exit m ad e:
Prof. was ’fore and the janitor aft’
And not a word did they bandy.
Whoop de doodle, etc.
3. Now down the stairs did the bovine fall,
Prof. and the janitor after ;
And the students now, at the foot of the stairs,
Kent the air with their boisterous laughter.
Whoop de doodle, etc.
4. The cow down the street did go,
And Prof. a stone threw after;
The janitor then the chapel locked
And all was calm and tranquil.
Whoop de doodle, etc.
yltojtcaaof elfcL'liiiiA aiv6 f t Sl l i i t e.
It is a failing of many great men to have an utter disregard for money.
However, Prof. H . isn’t troubled in that way. If there is one thing more
t h a n a n o t h e r , excepting perhaps his ability to sit down on a flanker, that
he prides himself in, it is his reputation of getting all lie can and keeping
all he gets. H is many financially successful schemes, prominent among
which is his marriage, are looked hack upon by him with pride and
satisfaction, and so shrewdly has he invested his money that his name is
synonymous with a good bargain. But the sharpest are sometimes the
easiest swindled. From the land of the setting sun, the place associated in
the minds of the “ p reps” with gold untold, there came an agent, (not on
“ The Museum of A ntiquity,” “ The Royal Path of L ife ” or “ Error’s
Chains,” though for suavity of speech and deceptive arts he could give
some of the agents points )’who had a claim to sell. You may talk to a
Meadville man until Joe Guignon passes in spelling, to get him to invest his
money in a home industry, and talk in vain, but just mention oil or a mine,
and lie will meet vou more than half way. The agent showed specimens
of ore assaying ‘ thousands to the ton, and a number of Meadviile’s
capitalists bit, among them Prof. II. For a time a little Elysium reigned
in the latin department. The prof. instead of devoting his time to tearing
“ Brutus ” and devising sarcastic speeches, spent his hours dreaming of
huge nuggets of silver. But soon the beautiful calm was disturbed. The
horrible rumor that “ Tahomo ” was a myth reached the city. Caramba
how the dust Hew <m the latin race course. All the steeds had to be
exercised three times a duv, and even then many were the rulers who were
thrown Life to the average student was becoming unbearable, when the
good news was announced that Prof. could’nt stand it any longer, and must
io and see to matters himself. Under his efficient management the tangle
was soon unraveled, and when he returned East, it was with the satisfaction
that in the future, affairs in the West would he run straight. Since then
“ Tnhom a” has panned out in a way calculated to satisfy the shareholders
highest expectations. To this we attribute the wonderful change in the
manner of Prof. II. “ C ub” Thoburn now enters the class with an even
chance of escaping a raking, while Jim McCready has’nt been told to get
his lesson and that “ they can £<> down town in Sewickly” for months.
May Tahoma flourish abundantly, and the good nature of its owners,
especially those with whom we come in contact develop in the same way.
to igoPHedfiondenUQ
Principal of Young Ladies’ School, Farmington, M ass.:
We are very sorry that you have not room for such foolishness as a
*. A. +. Frat. in your school. Young ladies’ fraternities are very excellent
institutions. If you should change your mind just ask the young ladies
who wrote you for a chapter, and we assure you it will he established.
Miss G., Cleveland, O .:
No, ma’a m ; you are not a member of the fraternity, and should not
consider yourself such. No one can be a legal sister of the fraterdity who
lias not taken an oath on the bible. It was too bad that the old lady would
not lend the bible, and stopped “ the foolishness.” But there is plenty of
time to start a chapter in Cleveland. Long live *. A. *.
Zoologist:
That was rig h t; your information was correct. Laughlin, Chapman.
Wilson, Ira Dunn, Misses Hayes and Hyde have the largest feet in College.
E v erett:
Who would have thought that you would have asked such a question ?
Become engaged to two girls at the same time and you will become as big a
liar as you desire.
Gamma Preacher i
We do not know of the whereabouts of your fraternity pin. It was
found in Bender’s Atlantic Garden by a colored gentleman, who traded it
off for a new nickel. A few days afterwards a gentleman gave it to a boy
for holding his horse. This is all we have been able to find out about it.
Union City i
The following is the only true report of the catastrophe : Lellie Frisbee
took Miss H attie out to skate. The ice broke and let them into the
water up to their necks. To avoid publicity and the sympathetic smiles
of their friends they went home by way of back allies. Don’t know the
date, think it was about the 10th of February.
Society Man :
Certainly come to Allegheny College; you are just the kind of men we
want in the school. The faculty were misrepresented to you : they never
have parties around at their houses and invite the students. The man who
said that Doc. Hyde gives casine parties was a liar.
P. T. B arnum :
W ith many thanks for your liberal offer, the Alleghenian editors will he
compelled to inform you that we can not travel with your circus this
summer. Our programme for the season is laid down on the last page.
There is not much circus, material in College this year. If you can raise
85,000 Vickerman will consent to let his mocking bird go with the
menagerie. Guthrie says tliet he and his Bird will travel cheap.
Stevenson :
The best way to keep a secret is told by two old maxims: “ Never let
anybody know'that you have one,” and “ Don’t talk too much with your
mouth.”
Dr. H am m ett:
No, you could not take out a blanket policy for 810,000 on East H all the
morning after the fire. T hat should have been done the evening before
the fire, at least. That is a good idea. Take out a blanket policy on the
battalion before they go into camp ; then if the fire water burns them up
you will have money enough to escort them home.
Jim B lain e:
Dr. Hammett was right about that. If you are a probable candidate for
the Presidency you should deliver the commencement oration before the
societies. Come by all means, and you will secure the influence of the
facultv. If the faculty are for you, all obstacles between the Presidency of
the United States and yourself will be removed. The battalion will meet
you at the station, and go through the silent drill. Baldy will fire a salute
from the College battery. Your nomination, campaign and election will
be virtually over. Congratulatians in honor of your success will be in order.
Come on, J i m ; make your speech in the Stone Church, and accept the
greatest gift of a free nation.
Contractor:
W e have seen no such advertisement, and don’t expect to. The College
authorities never advertised for bids to get the Campus fixed up like a
park. That would not do. There would be no summer houses, no rustic
arbors; no, not even benches in Allegheny Campus. Goff and Hyde are
going to farm the Campus this summer, and expect to raise hay enough to
keep their chargers all next winter.
DOUGLAS
HALL.
:OINi.:E the cremation of East Hall, Prof. K
has, by untiring and
unrelenting exertions, secured a place of above for the boys, a place
' ’ “ where the wicked cease from troubling, and the weary are at rest.”
Douglas Hall, wonderful in the extent and magnitude of its’“ gall,” where
meals are served three times a day, crackers furnished at all times without
extra charge, everything served up in the most approved style. It may he
interesting to notice some of the charncteiistics of this house: the house
may lie seen at any time, the hoys especially at meal times, where if one
should but gaze, he would behold Guthrie measuring his food witli the eye
of an orator ; McCready, who eats with slow ai d steady strokes that knew
no end ; Stul1, the antediluvian fossil, who still persists in eating. Bryant,
with his accustomed modesty, asks when shall we eat again ? Brown, the
Itacehnlanean, who is ever ready fc r the twinkle of the dinner hell. And
thus they go. But last and not least is J u nbo, who says “ feed me with
the bread of heaven.”
S lR c n u :
“Go rut what I lotiv m ini," — T i t i . k y .
so re .
A la pompador,
A la Payseune.
Ill I I I . K I ) .
Tongue a la Bryant,
Ham a la Jumbo.
E N T R E E S .
Beef a la Royal
Beef garnished witli crackers,
Beef a la I lelmonico,
Beef scolloped with crackers.
All things taken from the table without extra charge.
BE ECH
HOUSE.
S i t u a t e d on North Main Street, where the vines gently twine over the
veranda, the buds, warmed by; the soft rays of the sun, and the conifers
casting their shadows as if to hide and protect from all eyes, is the Beech
House, which has stood the calumny of ages botli present and p a s t; and
although battered and tom is ever ready to receive strangers, for her motto
is “ H e was a stranger and they took him in.”
This house is composed of some very had boys, and although they are
very innocent still what they lose in that respect they gain in eating, for
they nre mighty eaters. By the departure of Cubbison the house mourned,
but she rose again when Baldwin the Invincible came, who has unlimited
capacity, which three meals a day does not satisfy ; but still we think he
can live till he gets home. Pugnacious Day and irrepressible Plummer
make a team that is without comparison. Silver, although wearing
gradually away, still stands erect and takes his food in the natural way,'
and never knows when lie has had a sufficiency. Insatiable Cree, who
thinks that the first should be la s t; and he is usually correct, for he sits
with a stoical countenance until there is no more.
Ford has staying propensities which can not be gotten over, for he was
never known to refuse anything.
And the p rin te rs
, but we will stop, for to do them justice would he
an utter impossibility.
A PROBLEM.
Editors present the following problem to those skilled in the rules
which govern elite society. To make the problem clear we have
taken pains to illustrate: A young man calls on his dearly beloved ;
like most other fellows he wishes to he alone with his dearly beloved, and
his ducky darling wishes to he alone with him. They go into a room by
themselves. Someone locks the door from the outside and carries off the
key. Time passes quickly. Bell rings : he must leave. Finds door
locked. W hat must he do? So ne kind friend brings a ladder. Some
cruel enemy pours water on him from the window above while he is
climbing down. Now what sort of a leave won d such be called ? The
one giving a correct answer wil’i authority will he presented with a ticket
t > Unde Toni’s c h in by the editors.
l ater—The following answers have been received :
“ Thief leave.”
“ He that goeth not out by the straight f ate, but elinilieth down some
other way, the same is a thief and a robber.”
—Miss Linn.
u We don't know.”
—Misses S. & M.
V§
*• F a n n e r ’s leave.”
“ B ecause lie left th e M ead w hen it ra in e d ”
M r. T h o b u rn ’s an sw er is correct.
-T h u liu m .
■
"'^M-odetn
’jj$j[abk$Q
T HE B D Y S A N D THE GIRLS,
upon a time two students, Stull and Remer, went out walking.
After getting left on three or four girls they saw two who did not try to
shake them. Stull said to Remer “ I believe we can pick up those girls.
Let us try it.” Remer agreed and they started. After a long walk they
managed to overtake the girls, but imagine their surprise and disappoint­
ment when they discovered the two girls to be t h e M a t r o n , M b s . N o d i n e ,
35CPDDL. * OF * lA I G E ^ T S lf
O nce
and a
L a d y F r ie n d .
M o ral : B e sure you are right and then go ahead.
G£5r E s t a b l i s h E
d
in
F u ll Course □{ In stru c tio n in th e A rt cf A cquiring
U nlim ited Gall and Cheek,
' > » ■ < ■-:
c i^ F A O T L T Y ^ O
" H O W B A L D Y GOT LEFT,"
S o m e peop'e experience great satisfaction when they go to shows on
“ comps,” or ride on the cars with a pass. Baldwin the Redhead is one
of that class of peop'e. H e went to the phantom party at the Commercial,
among the dead-heads, and expected a great time, lie took a Friend with
him, but before he had been there long a certain Victor took her away
from him. Then her ‘‘little red-headed boy” was mad, and sulked off to
take a contract of holding up the wall. When supper time came Baldy
was nowhere to be found, and did not put in an appearance until it was
time to take “ the green-eyed monster” home.
M o r a l : Never be a dead-liead.
B E D ILI GE N T I N GGGD W O R K S ,
ONCE there lived 011 College H ill a very amiable lady. A great revival
was going on, and a wonderful work was being doi e. This excellent lady
was always very diligent in the pe formance of all things which she was
called to do, and many a burdened heart found relief through her wise
and devout counsel. On a certain night she sat in the chapel and listened
to an oratorical contest. A messenger came and whispered in her ear
“ Come quiek'y, Dr. 1!
is at your room and desireth to speak with you.”
But the good lady did not understand the messenger, but thought the
messenger had said “ Mr. B’st is troubled aliout his soul, and desireth you
to come and pray with him.” Nevertheless she arose and went quickly to
her apartment. What was her great joy when she found not Mr. B’st Imt
D r. H
( her “ cousin” (?) from a far city.
M o r a l : D o without hesitancy or d elay what seem s rigid, and it will
“ pan out ” better than you had conceived.
,
.^ iV D T E S -F C R -H IM S E L F E R A N T fc L
President.
Penny Hollister (the Terror of North Redding).
Blaine Professor of the A rt of Self-defence.
Rope Ladder Calder, Tutor of the department of the Presence of Mind.
Lack of Decision Proctor, Professor of Natural Science—Tenacity
a Speciality.
Caught Robbing Thoburn, Grant, Professor of Unmitigated Gall and
Ceaseless Gabble.
E.
Pluribus Unum Deane, Professor of the Mesmeristic Style of
Canvassing.
Irish Tom Hamilton, the man with the W indy Jaws.
Use of the Tongue.
Instructor in the
Little Too Late Lynch, Professor of Meekness and Humilty.
80
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
M r . G r a n t , the president, is a man of great talent and pathetic
eloquence. H e has been known to tell the story of his College life so
pitifully that a poor widow gave him five dollars, and he didn’t even have
to give iier a cloth bound “ Museum’' in return.
P e n n y -H ollistkr , than whom a Snyder man does not exist, is a person
w ell known throughout the co u n try ; especially at the em ploym ent office
in Boston, which, last summer, recognizing his talent and learning, offered
him a h igh ly lucrative position in a brick yard at one dollar a day and
board him self. H ow ever, by special inducem ents w e persuaded him to
refuse this offer, as well as g iv e up his id ea of becom ing a jolly Jack Tar
on a fishing smack.
P rof . C a l d e r , as well as occupying one of the highest ehstirs in the
school is chief of the fire escape department, and in tiiis capacity has
distinguished himself on several occasions. However, he owes his present
wealthy and influential position mainly to his economy. So close is he
that lie intends suing David Wise unless the latter pay for one of the
former’s books which by accident was burned up in David’s room instead
of in his own.
So w e l l known is E . Pluribus Unum Deane that to eulogise his
character would be useless. However, in remembering his many noble
qualities, don’t forget his ability to smell fire.
M r. P roctor is a perfect “ Treasure of Use and Beauty,” and is
renowned for his modesty. It is related that tie once went out to Woodcock-boro, and rather than intrude himself lie knocked on the door of a
bar-room before entering.
U nd o u bt e d ly the must notorious man in the faculty is Mr. Thoburn,
who is so well known to our readers that we will merely give the motto by
carefully following which he has reached his present mgh position. It is:
“ Give a man cheek and all else shall be added unto him.” We recom­
mend it to all young A-Gents.
I rish T om has an immense reputation as a persuader. His only fault
is that he sometimes gets hold of the wrong man. Ask him about Ward.
The following questions remained unanswered at the last examination :
D id Leherman’s actions last summer give the impression that he had
ever been at a hotel before ?
H ow did it happen that Grant was refused a general agency hv the
Standard House, and what ailed him that he telegraphed Powers to come
and start his list ?
W h y did the young lady at Shirley slap L*b*r*m*n’s mouth ?
AVas it economy for Lisle Thoburn to wear out a pair of three dollar
and a half shoes walking eighteen miles to Boston when the R. R. fare was
three cents per mile ?
W h y was Bodly always afraid of looking green?
H as L*b*r*m *n paid’ back the m oney he borrowed to get hom e on ?
W h y was G*r*n*t afraid the chambermaid would catcli him dressing ?
W h y does McClurg never tell his experience in the book business?
I f F o x travelled seven hundred m iles to sell one book, how far would
he h ave to travel to become rich if the fare was three and one h a lf cents
p er m ile ?
•
A L L E G H E N Y CO LLEG E.
81
fottiile ‘W eaffi to
“ F o r ways that are dark and tricks that are vain the agent for books is
pccttlinr.”
I t is o f vital importance, so the general agents say, that the canvasser
get some one to start his list, and the bigger the man that starts it the
bigger the list. W hen Charlie Miller commenced operations last summer
lie determined that lie would have for a header the most influential citizen
in his territory or lie would know the reason why, and this is how he
succeeded :
M r . B row n was both a store-keeper and a
deacon, two occupations which, when united, in­
variably make a man
rich, and therefore re­
spected.
Also, they
never fail to make a
man stingy, and stingy
men hateagents. Brown
hated agents, bookagents in particular, and to this we at­
tribute the scowl with which he greeted our
hero. No doubt he was sincere when lie
said he didn’t want the “ Museum,” wouldn’t
have it under any consideration, and it was
'C jtr
useless to waste time. But he reckoned
without his host.
C h a r l ie insisted on his looking at the work at any rate, and thinking
|
that the easiest way to get rid of him he
consented. Foolish man. That action sealed
liis fate. One might as well try to find
another as poor a club as the Freshman nine
as to let an agent start his
lingo and ex­
pect to escape.
At the end of
the first hour
Brown was still
emphatic in his
assertions “that
he didn’t want it:” but Charlie paid no
</
more attention to that than Burt Blair does
to his College duties.
A L L E G II E N )'
When another sixty minutes had passed Iirow.i suddenly remembered
that be had an engagement, and attim pted
to withdraw.
But be 'didn’t.
T hat ruse never
works on an old
agen‘, and Char­
lie bad travelled
the year before
on “ The Royal
Path.” li e im­
mediately show­
ed Brown that
lie wasn’t to lie
trifled witli. lie
_
swabbed the floor
from the poor man’s brow, and then lifted him on
with
to his stool by the hos< m of his pants. Brown
made no resis­
tance. H e was 8)
weak he couldn’t.
Feeling the su­
preme moment
close at band our
berobrcu lit Into
play all his eloqence, and at the
end of the third
hour Brown fell
to the floor in a
dead faint.
I~T
Charlie gazed
look of triumph mingle with pity when he
saw the’ agonizing
expression on his
features.
After
some
difficulty
Brown was re­
vived, and he sat
down upon his
chair a weaker
and a wiser man.
H e no longer at­
tempted 1 1 rebel
simply said “ Take
against
my subscription but spare my life.
C O LLEG E.
y
v.
♦^KEpnri * nf * Eam Es i fur ? 188 2-3 L+
BASE
BALL.
— O c t o b e r 2 1 .—
Deltas, 14 ;
College, 13.
—M
ay
4. —
Sophomores, 12;
Freshmen, 3.
— M ay I I . —
Beach House, 27 ;
Douglas House, 18.
— M a y 1 8 .—
Preps, 25 ;
Freshmen, 21.
— M a y 20. -
— M ay
1, 2, 3*.
D. D.’s, 0, 0, 342 ;
25.—
Alleghenians, 14;
Philo Franklins, 13.
M. D.’s and LL. D.’s 0,212.
*Game called on account of darkness.
—J UNE -2. —
Philo Franklins, 37 ;
Alleghenians, 13.
FOOT
BALL
— M a y 12 .—
Two Preps, 4;
Three Preps, 2.
P R O P H E T IC .
Alleghenians, 50 ;*
Philo Franklins, 1,
*According to an Alleghenian Editor.
Philo Franklins, 50 ,f
Alleghenians, 1.
fAccording to a Philo Editor.
itttiit ft ttttstftiittft.
McElwain :
No, sir; we know of no establishment in Meadville where honest people
can purohase second hand clothing. You had better come to this city and
start a pawn shop where your constituents can obtain suitable wearing
apparel.
Jim Thompson :
If you are wise you will make the Blairs take their own keg home. I.et
the bottles lake cure of themselves. That spout which was taken from
Bender should he taken home at once. Don’t let Charlie get you into a
scrape because of his banquet
Freshman Class:
W hat shall you do to distinguish yourselves ? Brace up, be men and
get your lessons ; that wi'l distinguish you above the rest of the classes.
T hat committee of yours don’t amount to a row of pins; they hardly know
the way home when they get down street. Do not he influenced by their
childish schemes.
AU
m tntttt swtiiwis.
FHI
KAFFA
F S I.
3d Wednesday in February, 1 8 8 5 , .............................. - -
DELTA
TAU
DELTA,
August 22, 23, and 24, 1 8 8 3 ,
FH I
DELTA
October 27, 28, 29, and 30. 1 8 8 4 .
Columbus, O.
Indianapolis, Ind.
THETA,
REVOIR.
CjNEAR friend, gentle readers, farewell. With regret we lay aside the
— borrowed, end-chewed pen with which you have been criticised so
often to take a trip for our health. Form er editors have gone “ to
that Bourne, e t c . b u t gracious Fate has ordained it otherwise, and the
first of July will find us on the dark blue ocean. Our illustration repre­
sents a correct picture to be taken by our special artist, Tom Nicholl, who
will accompany the grand excursion to Europe. Queen Victoria has
invited us to stop and see her daughters. All right, Vic, get your house
cleaning done before the middle of July, ’cause we’re coming. Just
imagine Emperor William ordering “ Sehn Beers.” Whoop! The Czar
has postponed his cor mation till we arrive. Say, Alex, don’t make any
extra fuss on our account. We intend to help Ferry reform France. We
will have the Turks excuse us from silting like they do ’cause Dr. Hyde
says it is not nice! Expect to visit Cleopatra and get an obelisk from her.
We’ll make Rome how l! Ride at Venice in the gond ilars ! Will see if
Italian sunsets are what they are cracked up to he. Procure many new
students for “ old Allegheny,” and then return to the land of the free and
the home of the brave, where the “ Star Spangled Banner triumphantly
waves.” Till then,'farewell.
Yours sorrowfully,
Nashville, Tenn.
T H E EDITORS.
CP a E CD a
WM . R IT E Z E L A* CO.,
BOOK A ND JO B P R IN T E R S ,
W A R R E N , O H IO .
We wish to request the Students to -patronize
those who advertise with us, a n d THOSE
ONLY, us it is by their a id th a t the Alleghenian
can be published.
JOHN HAMMER,
OUR M ERCHANT TAILO RING
Manufacturer ami Dealer in
FINE * CIGARS *
W ill always he found replete with the choicest goods of American and
Loreign looms. We are
-cA S O L E
T O B A C C O ,
WHOLESALE AND
RETAIL.
Cor. North and North Main Streets. Meadville. Pa.
AGENTS^—
For this city of the largest importing cloth house in the United States,
which enables us to have our own special Patterns, which you will not find
outside of our store. We use first class trimmings, give stylish and good
fitting Garments at reasonable prices. Particular attention to military suits.
A
C o m p le te L in e o f G e n t s ’ F u r n is h in g G o o d s.
The Latest Styles in S tiff. So ft, and Straw Ila ts w ill he
fo u n d in our Stock.
M. OHLM AN & CO.,
The People’s Clothiers,
D 13^ W ater S tr e e t,
-
-
-
1)12 M ark et Square,
D ELEM A TER BLOCK, M EA DV ILLE, P a .
f'T.m
NEW
McHENRY
H O US E , '
—Near R R. Depot and Business Centre—
Col. JOHN 1C. CLAUK, Prop’r.
MEADVILLE, Pa.
L U iyx je is ,
303,
CHESTNU T
STREET,
NEAR
THE
o ffers for sa le at v erv low ra tes
D IA M O N D ,
:
Essay Paper, large octavo, 40 sheets, 10 cents.
Sermon Paper, quarto, 10 cents a quire.
Legal Cap, 14 lb., 12 cents a quire.
A uthors’ MS., very heavy, 20 cents a quire.
Note, cream laid, 20 cents a quire.
THE M O N A R C H
4 Elegant
Monarch Tables—Cues always in order. I use
nothing but the finest I v o r y Billiard nnd Pool Balls, and
cater only to the pleasure of gentlemen. Good stock of
Cignrs always on hand. Base Ball and all other noteworthy
sporting events bulletined daily.
Visitors anil Customers will always receive courteous attention.
---
— a lso —
A r tis ts ’ M a te r ia ls, E n g r a v in g s, F ra m e s, S h eet M usic,
M usic B on ks am i M u sical In str u m en ts.
HAL
S.
PH IL L IPS,
Proprietor.
R. M inhanFs R E stanrant,
m
CAPS. S T R A W
GOODS
W>
AND---
Gents' $ Furnishing f Gnnds,
C A D E T C A P S , H A M M O C K S, &<*.,
— AT—
BARD’S HAT STORE,
2 0 0 C h estn u t S t r e e t , ....................... D ela m n te r B lo ck .
J?- Tv. Jdaxm ll, £). 0. s .,
Office a n d Residence—
275 Centre Street,
MeadviLle, Pa.
177 CHESTNUT STEEET,
- - - -
MEADVILLE, PA.
- 3 - B I L L o O F -> FA RE -3—
Porter-house steak, fried potatoes, coffee, bread and butter
25 cents
linm and eggs, fried potatoes, coffee, bread and butter ...........
25 cents
Fried eggs, potatoes, coffee, toast, bread and butter
25 cents
Fried tripe, potatoes, coffee, bread and b u tt e r ..........................
25 cents
Pork and beans, bread and butter .................................................. 15 cents
Pickled pigs’ feet, bread and butter ..........................................
15 cents
Pickled lambs’ tongue, bread and butter.......................................... 15 cents
Pickled tripe, bread and butter ..................................................
15 cents
Boiled ham per plate, with bread and butter
15 cents
Pressed corn beef per plate, bread and b u tte r
15 cents
Sardines per plate, bread and butter
.......................................... 15 cents
Bologna per plate, bread and butter ..........................................
15 cents
Sweitzer cheese per plate, bread and b u tte r .................................. 15 cents
Bread and milk
..........................................................................
10 cents
Tea and coffee, e a c h ..........................................................................
5 cents
Oysters and clams, when in season, at wholesale and retail.
JOHN
MARHOFER,
Jr.,
— DEALER IN —
WALLACE & FLYNN,
Groceries and Previsions, Flour, Feed, &c.
C O R N E R P A R K A V E N U E & P I N E ST.
2 2 0 C H E S T N U T ST.
.TU L E S
D E L A U N .VY,
— oo£5^->—
940 W A T E R STREET,
Suits th a t are “ Stunners,”
H ats th a t are “ Im m eh se,”
Gloves th a t are *"Striking
Ties th a t are “ Fasten a,ting,”
Valises th at “ take the cake.”
Wholesale & Detail Dealer in Pine Groceries & Provisions,
Bring all the boys and just come in and buy yonr clothes of
W ALLACE & F L Y N N .
F
is h ,
T obacco
and
C
ig a r s ,
F
r u it s ,
Special prices to Hotels, Clubs and Restaurants.
E tc.
Roasting room, foot of
D o c k S t ., M e a d v i l l e , P e n n ’ a .
JENKS.
WATCHES,
DIAMONDS,
JEW ELRY.
=iH
T H E A L L E G H E N IA N .
83
A LLEG 11EN Y
S9
C O LLEG E.
J. N. McCOY,
P A 'ftA U O fl
— D E A L E R IN —
—OF—
^ A L L E G H E N Y COLLEGER
Carpetings, Laoe Curtains, Oil Cloths, House Furnishing
Goods, Mattings, &c.
A W N IN G S A N D TEN TS M A D E TO O R D E R .
NO. 901
3
C .
^itsiiUan every fteaier of ll[i$ Joarnaf, sad keep il in |iew,
I-.
W A TER
STREET.
RAYM OND
&
C o .,
— D EA LER S IN —
Tlmt if you desire fine fitting garments and clothing that are
made up strictly reliable and fashionable, call at the
w
ijMetchant 'WaUotmd %j>Mab1khmcnt
T H O M A S J. DOYLE,
N o. 2 5 0 C h estn u t S treet, -
j.
c .
M ea d ville, P a .
Y L is r iD i E i R .s o i L r ,
—
DEALER
A
lso ,
W
atch es,
C
•V o.
l o c k s,
901,
J
ew elry
UMTER
, S
il v e r w a r e
, E tc
STREET..
II. C. D A V IS, A gent,
Manufacturer of and Dealer in
BOOTS, SHOES, BOBBERS, ETC.
No. 5 5 C h estn u t S tree t, M ead ville, P a .
IN —
Bool-s, Stationery, 1Vail Paper, Toys, Felt-Paper, Window
Curtains, P icture Fram es,
W all P a p er , W in d o w S hades. P ic tu r e F ra m es, E tc.
§abfe jiou-Se,
Velocipedes, Wagons, Carts,
Hobby Horses, Gold Pens, Pocket Books, A lb u m s, etc ,
JiUadvilk, J?a.
CHAS.
GABLE,
P ro p rieto r .
N o. 9 3 6 W A T E R ST R E E T .
P LEA SA N T AMD P R O F IT A B L E .
R a te s, 1 .5 0 p er D ay.
Every person can find a pleasant and lucrative business canvassing for
BELD’S
SELECTED
NEEDLE
CASE.
Over 100 % profit made at this business.
Students during vacation and at odd times will find this the best thing out.
We publish “ The Agent’s Dispatch,” Monthly, 8 pages, 32 col. Subscrip­
tion price, with premium, 40 cents per year. It is filled with choice
reading matter, poetry, etc. We are also general card printers. Your
name neatly printed on 30 elegant chromo cards and sent to your address
postpaid on receipt of ten one cent stamps. Address all orders to
W.
II
BELL,
AUBURN,
IV
. Y.
:P>.
M I L L E R : ----
Largest and best Assortment of
.B o o ts
an d
ALW AYS
Sh oes
ON H A N D .
5. O PERA BLOCK, M EADVILLE, PA.
J. M.
C. F. T h o m a s
R o b in s o n .
— eto
•
Groceries & Provisions.
^ RUBI NSUN X T HUMf l S ^
Sole Agents for the Celebrated
m.
SNOW
F L A K E FLOUR
W
N o. OOt W a te r S tr e e t, M ea d v ille, P a .
- J W
J O S E P I I
S I I I J .E R H f r -
(?Jtceu6cife C o iL 'c io a l'o ttj, ©Jtcabtiiffc-, ^Ta.
tj'cafct- in )Tian o - f o : I ca, ‘J a r for 8c (Tfiurcfi © t g a i u ',
Having the General Agency
for all the best makes, parties
will find it to their advantage
to purchase direct from me.
I keep on hand a large stock
of Pianofortes,Organs, Stools,
Spreads,Sheet-M usie, Books,
Violin and Guitar Strings,
at Wholesale and Retail, and
Everything in the Music
Line.
R.
A L L K IN D S OF
B U D D I J V O P M .4 J V T 8 .
flower fejijns
dteiCBJt tuitt
W eddings,
F unerals,
Hanging Baskets
JInd all Occasions
F u r n is h e d on sh o rt notice
a t p ric e s lo w e r th a n th e y
ca n he p ro cu red e lse w h e re .
-caavASES755*'"
<h >:* w A t i : i i s t i t i : i : t .
A.
This Fine Conservatory
is supplied with the
♦^AUGUST * KRUEGER i P r n p r i E i n r . ^
FOW LER,
L O U IS T O R D E L L A ^ Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
j -
~D
1 am prepared to do work equal to any in the city at the
most reasonable terms.
^SlHl’ E C U L
lit-N"
F n m ig n
and
flnm E sliE
F r u its,
C on fection ery, T obacco an d C igars.
DISCOUNT TO STUDIOXTS..:!
Gin• ini' (i trial, I guarantee satisfaction.
——•<(((
O
y sters
and
I ce
C keam
D
u r in g
t h e ir
S
—
*
Cor. P a r k A v e n u e an d C h estn u t S tre et.
£ 3 0 C H E S T N U T S T ., M E A D V IL L E , P a .
ea so n ,
ALLEG H EN Y COLLEGE.
C haL
U E U G G I S T
yy.
.A I T iD
J & illw
A P O T H E C A E Y .
255 Chestnut St. tfe cor. o f Chestn ut db M arket St.,
MeadviUe, P a ,
— d e a l e r in —
PUKE DEUGS, MEDICINES, AND CHEMICALS,
Patent Medicines, Ac. Surgical and Dental Instruments, Fine Toilet
Soaps, Brushes, &c. Perfumery, Fancy Toilet Articles.
StST
Physicians} Prescriptions Carefully Compounded.
93
T IF F A N Y & CO., Union Square,
N ew York City, have made prepara­
tions for the coming- season to offer
original and artistic designs with
new methods of treatment, for forms
of commencement and other invita­
tions.
They have also increased their fa­
cilities for producing articles of ap­
propriate design for Prizes, Class
Cups, Society Badges, etc.
D raw in gs w ith E stim ates sent on
ap plication .
Correspondence Invited.
m a nufacturers
of
FLOUR, FEED, AND LAND PLASTER.
P IS
—Also Dealers in all kinds of—
G R A IN , C L O V E R A N D T IM O T H Y S E E D , G R A IN
AND P A P E R SA CK S.
BAGS,
M E A D V IL L E , P A .
—W ill make a Specialty of Illustrating—
I . 7
j
^
mm
~
~
*
/~ f
^
J
^COLLEGE $ PHBLICflTinNS^
LIVERY A N D SALE STABLES.
F ir s t C la ss C a n ia g e s a n d B u g g ie s c o n s ta n tly on h ar.d.
?cc col orb in this Humber of flic Allccjbcitian.
S tu d en ts trill fin d the le st rii/s in the ci/i/ at. th is stable.
Y O U N G ST O W N ,
K U O W a t e r S t , n«‘\ t d o o r t o I t i n l H o u s e , M e a d v i U e , P a .
O.
94
T H E A L L E G H N E IA N .
or,
A L L E G U E N V CO LLEG E.
Tlie C hildren cry for it,
A n d th e old fo lk s sig li for
S. S. P E N T Z ’S _
— IS T H E PLA C E TO GET —
c e C§Ee-ci/i44 T a : 1c : .
'SvvfcX
All styles and sizes, finished in the highest style of art from Carte* tic
Visile up to life size.
P A R T IE S & P IC N IC S S U P P L IE D .
JSj/rn.t/ facilities for Jfflahiiifl g ab ies' giilure.s.
The best place in the City for Parties and Banquets.
We invite our old customers and solicit new to call on us as we are better
prepared to serve them than ever before.
OLD
P IC T U R E S
C Q P tE P
AND
Nice, large and well ventilated room, always cool in summer, and in
first-class style, and o p e n a t a l l h o u r s .
158 58841! 488 tifSI 1585 4 588514811.
ENLARGE P .
P a r lo r s, 94,‘i W a te r St., U p Stairs.
2 1 7 C h e stn u t S tr ee t, M ead ville, P a .
^ a y h l '6
illiatd
S. S. P E N T Z .
-= £ F O R
FINE
PHOTOSa=^_
— GO TO—
Newly Furnished and with the best of Billiard and Fool
Tables.
jjenaingtoifs {few flee |rt gallery,
947
A strictly first-class place with till improvements for
the amusement of gentlemen only.
W ATER
ST., O P P O S IT E
DOCK.
E verything N ew , N ice, a n d Pleasant, and the best w ork
in the city.
E B OOK S
i 5
*
ST A T I O N E R Y ^
1 7 4 C H E ST N U T ST R E E T ,
(O pposite N ew M cH enry,)
D. O. TAYLOR,
Proprietor.
In g h a m do Co’s. Cook Store,
P o st Office B u ild in g , M ea d v ille, P a .,
Is Headquarters for all College Books and Supplies, and everything in the
Book and Stationery line. A liberal discount made to Students.
Come and see us.
A LLEGHEN Y COLLEGE.
TIIE ALLEGHEN IAS.
T H E
I3X J033
—-w -M .
H O U SE
CL O T H I E R .
.
L
h
97
. R E E F E R -* * —
M E R C H A N T TAILOR,
And Dealer in Gents’ Furnishing Goods.
m I
STU BEN TS
CACHET SCOTS A. S P E C IA L T Y .
■. 10 1 , 1 )
& R E L IA B L E IL
j
__
SHRYOCK B L O C K ,...................................................W A TER STREET.
-—
►-----------E ST A B L IS H E D .-------- ►
-<---- - ^ » i85S « * -— -
T he O nly C ure fo r Corns an d B u n io n s
— 18 THE—
M A SC O T
C O R N
jE^EIvCEHDlT
— MADE BY—
J . L. W ILLIAM S, D ru g g ist,
M EA DV ILLE, PA.
Cor. W ater & Pine Sts., MeadviUe, Pa. Free carriage to & from all trains.
-D E A L E R IN —
F R A N K A . S T R IF F L E R , P ro p rie to r.
ill |# s t
—
dealer
in
Ml!.
—
General A g en t f o r the Keystone Coal and Coke Co.
YOUGHIOGHENY COAL A SPECIALTY.
2-P) C liestin it S t., M eadviU e, P a .,
Has now the largest stock of Gents’, Ladies’, and Misses’ Fine Shoes to be
found in the City. I keep nothing but the best makes,
and warrant all goods.
H
e a d q u a r t e r s fo r
S tu den ts’ F
in e :
S
h o e s.
Terms Cush.
£ .
£ .
Office Corner Chestnut and Market Sts.
S iic h m o n d
IRVI N & NiSBET,
&
B o .,
J m d w b ,
J d e a d m lk ,
3*a.
-D E A L E R S IN —
OUR LEA D IN G SP E C IA L T Y ©
o a f .
$
e jc 'C ,
$
STUCCO,
$
© e iiv e
n T ,
F E R T IL IZ E R S ,
The Largest Stock an I Lowest Prices.
Terra Cotta Ware, Sower Pipe, Drain Tile, Charcoal,
F IR E
B R IC K ,
E tc;.,
CORNER R. R. AND DOCK S T . , ..................... M EA D V ILLE, PA.
Send P. 0 . A ddress f o r Circulars and Testimonials o f our
$8 A N D
$9
WATCHES.
A L L E G H E N Y C O LLEG E.
HENRY WEBER X SDN,
Loading Looz Ac Shoo Szoro.
0 0 9 , W A T E R S T liE E T
- - - -
M E A D V IL L E , P A .
J T E W
L
I V
E
R
Y
S T jZ E L E ,
Cor. o f M a rk et a n d C en ter S treets.
-A..
M.
F U L L E R ,
OPERA
B LO C K , W A T E R
ST-
^ E N T IR E
Gents’ Furnishing Goods a Specialty.
N E W
O U T F IT S
♦^EvErgihing i F irsi * Class.
Prices Reasonable.
—»*®_
Ca,ll ancl See.
CYRUS SEE, D. D. S.,
Office 2 2 0 C h estn u t S treet,
R e sid e n c e, 8 3 4 L ib erty S tre et.
2k. Jwnwb L elgtU m ,
G r a d u a te o f th e
R o y a l D e n ta l S u rgeon s, C anada.
Office Prenatt Office, Park Ave., Meadville.
DR. G. ELLIOTT,
A
W m , R I T E Z E L & Co,,
-)iARTISTIC * PRINTERSicW f l R R E N , □,
-— - ^ 2 ^
►
F ra te r n ity P rinting a S pecialty.
|
s"sai® sB©a
(n r ' 'Ti—
am vnvT j
Office and Residence :
"' r' -’t end P a-’c Avenue, Meadville, Pn.
100
THE ALLEGHENIAN.
G ROCERY
H O T JS E
O F—
Ja m es E. J ieh m cn d , dc Jo .,
JiOO CHESTNUT
2 0 1 a n d 2 0 3 C h estn u t S treet.
Thebcst of Teas r li e 1 >o wt
and 8 plces at low n one? c*o 111 - *
prices.
iparc With it*|
ST.
a G NO L I a
p r <
>tt it, ,
O li v e B u t t e r a n d O l i v e s in B u lk .
It is not necessary to be rich to dress well Style makes the clothes, and
clothes make the man, at least they give a good lift in that direction.
Our style in making up clothing is so neat and tasty that you can not make
a bad appearance if you want to. In fact, the old military suit, which the
cadets so much disliked to wear, except upon drill, we are now ma. ing up
so nice that many of the students wear them for dress suits ; and, in fact,
they are a most elegant looking uniform. Not only is our Merchant
Tailoring Department complete and lirst-class, but the
DAMSON JA M and DUN DEE MARMALADE, and a fine assortment
of fancy groceries.
GREEN
G R O C E R IE S A N D
F R U IT S I N
T IIE IR
SE A SO N S.
C A N N E D F R U IT S , M E A T S, F IS H , A N D V E G E T A B L E S
OF A L L K IN D S .
S S I"We make a specialty of B utter and Eggs, and every pound of
Butter not as represented, can be returned.
R E A D Y - MA D E C L O T H I N G ,
-M iG E M 'S '
FUH M SHIN G
GOODSajrv—
a u b iSapN a r c (poiupt’ct'c.
We make n specialty of goods for students, both in military and citizens’
clothing, and always keep a full assortment of nice and desirable goods.
We keep the measures of all students which we have made goods for in
1880-81, and can nlwnys make them a perfect fit without seeing them.
You can order samples and make your selection from them.
tS P
or n o t
Students are always welcome at our store, whether wishing to buy
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,
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Furnished on an y subject th a t m ay
be desired.
W arranted th a t the FACU LTY w ill not
“ CATCH ON. ”
For all who are rasned w ith work, this is
an excellent chance.
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e lL itic ttib c f Ific $fc.cc ;
F - *—
2 0 1 & 2 0 3 C H E ST N U T ST., - - M E A D V IL L E , P A .
ORRIS
& GASKILL.
— ■—Tt
For fu rth er particu lars, apply to the present
Senior class.
5 E H ftlN S ^
T E R R O R ’S
— BY—
Lute American Resident at Yokohama, Japan, H O N . S.
W ELLS W ILLIA M S, L. L. D ., and PR O FE SSO R
ISA A C H A L L, L. L. B., Ph. D.
Tlie attention of first-class Agents is invited to this work which is
SOLD
ONLY
BY
SU BSC RIPTIO N.
To such agents wo offer thorough and p ractical instruc­
tion and the exclusive right to uncanvassed territory, which
may he selected in an y p a r t o f the U nited States, all parts
of which are accessible by some one of our several Branch
Houses.
|lo Capital iss Reeded by the gtycnt.
We pay liberal commissions— A part of which we ad­
vance weekly.
Books (including outfit and sample,) need
not ho paid for until payment is first collected from the
subscriber.
NO R ISK IS TAK EN BY T H E A G E N T . W E GUARANT E E T W O D O L L A R S P E R DAY FO R
STEADY W ORK.
W hen writing for particulars name the territory wanted.
Standard $ Publishing £ Hnusa,
•5 AND 7 E A ST FO U R TH STREET,