DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
A DINING TUTORIAL
PROPS:
Dining Posters
(To be displayed during Dining Tutorial)
Laser Pointer
(To highlight poster commentary)
TRAINING FACILITATOR:
Take
the
Dining
Tutorial
Commentary (pages 4 through 19) to the Dining Tutorial. It is
formatted by courses and serves as a reminder to you to present
key points during the tutorial.
The commentary describes a six-course meal.
You may
delete courses as appropriate for the menu you select. The menu
may consist of three, four, five, or six courses. You may want to
comment on the Seventh Course: Demitasse and Candy, especially
if you are presenting to a group of corporate spouses who are
invited to formal dinners, but who are unfamiliar with coffee and
candies served away from the table.
NOTE: Please review Guidelines for a Dining Tutorial on pages 2
and 3 in preparation for a dining tutorial.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
TRAINING FACILITATOR’S
GUIDELINES FOR A DINING TUTORIAL
You have made all the necessary arrangements with the hotel/restaurant
and their catering staff.
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the room has been reserved.
the menu prepared.
the stanchions reserved for table numbers.
Place cards/menus ready to be placed on tables.
the catering staff have been briefed.
Now, IT’S SHOW TIME!
We recommend the following steps to enhance your dining tutorial:
• Hold a final briefing with the captain/head waitstaff assigned to the
tutorial meal to make sure the place settings are correct and there is a
clear understanding of how the dining tutorial is to proceed.
• If you have decided to use place cards and menu cards, place them at
each place setting.
• A Host and a Guest of Honor will stand near the entrance of the
room. Host will be nearest the arriving guests, then next to him or
her, the Guest of Honor will stand.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• When all of the "guests" have been greeted, the Host and the Guest
of Honor go to their places at the table. Seat a Host and a Guest of
Honor at each table. The lunch/dinner is a working exercise that is
part of a seminar. (This is a powerful interactive portion of the
dining seminar experience.)
• The Guest of Honor is seated to the right of the Host at each table.
Place the cards at selected seats identifying Host and Guest of
Honor. Use The Protocol School of Washington® samples to create
your own.
• The Host at each table will make brief welcoming remarks and offer
a toast to all of the guests. (This toast is not directed to the Guest of
Honor, but to all of the guests.)
Example: "I want to thank everyone for joining us at this very special
occasion. Bon Appétit."
The Dining Tutorial begins.
Follow the Dining Tutorial Commentary.
After dessert has been served, but before anyone begins to eat dessert, the
Host rises and offers a toast to the Guest of Honor.
• The Guest of Honor responds with a toast to the Host.
• The same exercise is repeated at each table.
• The other guests are then free to offer toasts.
• The TRAINING FACILITATOR signals to the head waitstaff when
the meal is finished.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
TRAINING FACILITATOR: If time permits, have the Host and
Guest of Honor from each table stand near the entrance to the room to say
goodbye and shake hands with the departing guests.
NOTE: For additional information on seating, refer to the following book in
your list of Recommended Books: New Complete Guide to Executive Manners by
Letitia Baldrige, page 410, Learn How to Seat According to Rank.
DINING TUTORIAL COMMENTARY
Demonstrate handling each piece of silverware before the
meal is served and encourage the participants to practice along
with you. Next, present key points before or during each course at
a dining tutorial. Add your own personal comments and amusing
dining stories to liven up the commentary.
We viewed slides about handling silverware earlier. Now, I
want you to handle the silverware before we start eating. The
great Chinese philosopher Confucius said the following:
What I hear, I forget;
What I see, I remember;
What I do, I understand.
— Confucius, 451 B.C.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Be Seated. Please remain standing at the back of your
chair. Pull out your chair, step to the right side of your chair,
and enter the chair from your left side. Your left hip touches
the chair first. At business meals, a woman should never
expect a man to seat her. She seats herself. However, if a
man offers to seat her, she accepts with a gracious "thank
you."
Napkins. Once you are seated, pause before removing your
napkin from the table. At a dinner party in a home,
restaurant, or club, the Host is the first to lift his or her
napkin to signal the beginning of a meal.
In upscale restaurants, pause to see if the waitstaff will
unfold the napkin and place it on your lap. You don’t want to
reach for the napkin just as the waitstaff reaches for it.
An individual picks up the napkin and places it on his or
her lap. The large dinner napkin is left folded in half and
placed across the lap with the fold facing the waistline. The
luncheon napkin, which is smaller, is opened fully.
Place the napkin on the seat of the chair if you must
leave the table for a brief period of time. In upscale
restaurants, the waitstaff may refold your napkin and place it
on the arm of the chair or to the left side of the plate. Some
restaurants will replace your napkin with a fresh one.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Bread and Butter: The waitstaff will serve each guest by
placing the bread and butter directly on the bread and butter
plate, or serve as described below.
• The bread and butter will be placed on the table for
diners to help themselves. When it is near you, offer the
bread and butter first to the diner on your left, then serve
yourself, and then offer it to the diner on your right and
say, "please pass the bread and butter to your right."
NOTE: Food is always passed counterclockwise at the table.
Welcome Toast. It is the duty of the Host at each table to
rise and propose a welcome toast. I will cue you. Be mindful
of your napkin when you rise. Place it on your chair. Push
your chair under the table. Pause S look at the diners at your
table and then make eye contact with some of the diners at
the other tables.
Training Facilitator:
Cue the Host at each table to present his
or her toast. Make an appropriate positive remark about each
toast and offer suggestions, if necessary.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Soup Course: Please look carefully at your place setting
and pick up the soup spoon.
The soup spoon is held the way a pencil is held, steadied
between the index finger and the middle finger, except that
the thumb is turned up rather than down as when one is
writing. Return the spoon to the table and pick up your fish
knife and fork.
Fish Course: The fish knife is held the way a pencil is held,
steadied between the index finger and the middle finger.
The knife is used to cut and push the fish onto the fork.
Leverage is not necessary because fish is very tender.
Hold the fish fork this way. Tines should be down when
the fork is held in the left hand.
Return the fish knife and fork to the table.
Sorbet: A fruited ice is often served to clear the palate. It
may be served anytime during the meal; however, we suggest
after the fish course. The teaspoon or demitasse spoon is
brought to the table with the sorbet course. It is placed
behind the stem of the sorbet glass, bowl up, with the bowl
facing eleven and the handle facing five o’clock.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Main Course Knife and Fork. Please pick up your main
course knife and fork.
The fork is held in the left hand, tines down, when one is
cutting food.
Notice how the index finger rests on the
handle of the fork.
The knife is held with the index finger pointing down
the handle because more leverage is needed for cutting.
Return the knife and fork to the table and pick up your
salad knife and fork.
Salad Knife and Fork. The salad course may be eaten with
the salad knife and fork. Or, if you think the salad can be
eaten with the salad fork alone, the knife may be left on the
table until you have finished.
Return the salad knife and fork to the table.
You have actually handled the flatware for five courses.
We’ll wait until dessert is served, the sixth course, to handle
the dessert fork and spoon. These will be on the dessert
plate. Now, I’ll brief you on additional points of dining.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Note to Training Facilitator: Optional finger bowl service is
detailed in the workbook.
Serving the Meal
• Food is served from the left.
Exception: Many
restaurants are now serving pre-plated food from the
right and removing the plates from the right when the
diner is finished eating.
• Plates are removed from the right.
• Liquids are poured from the right.
• Serving trays and serving dishes are presented to the
diner from the left.
First Course: Soup
Beginning with the first course, the waitstaff serves the
wine, asking each guest, "Sherry, Sir?" or "Madam?" All
wines are poured to the right of each person without lifting
the glass from the table. Whether or not a guest drinks wine
is a personal matter based upon preference, health, or
religion. It is acceptable to refuse by lightly placing the
fingertips of the right hand on the rim of the glass. Do not
request another beverage. A glass should not be turned
upside down to denote refusal.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• Don’t begin to drink your wine until the Host has lifted
his or her glass.
• Don’t begin eating until everyone has been served when
you are seated with a small group. When seated at a
long banquet table of twenty-four diners, you may begin
eating after those around your immediate area (about
eight persons) have been served.
• Do converse with the persons seated on each side of
you. One or both of them may be charm-free (boring).
This does not mean you should be.
• Do learn the rules of toasting. In almost all countries and in
many social and business circles in the U.S.A., it’s the
custom at the beginning of the meal for the Host to give a
welcome toast to the guests. He or she may stand for a
large group or remain seated for a small group. At dessert
time, the Host toasts the Guest of Honor. The Guest of
Honor returns the toast. Other guests may propose toasts
after the Host and Guest of Honor exchange toasts.
• Do be prepared for toasting at dinners in restaurants or
homes. You must participate or you will be considered
socially unsophisticated.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
First Course: Soup may be served as described below.
• Soup will be served to you by a waitstaff holding a tureen.
Standing to your left, the waitstaff will ladle the soup from
the tureen into your soup plate.
• Soup may be served from a side table into a soup bowl or
bouillon cup.
• Soup may also be served from the right, based on the
serving style of the restaurant.
• Clear soup is spooned away from you toward the center of
the soup plate. Sip the soup from the side of the spoon.
(Like ships that sail out to sea, I spoon my soup away from me.)
• The soup plate may be tipped away from you in order to
fill the spoon with the last sips of soup. A soup plate is
very shallow, so the spoon is placed on the soup plate
between sips and when you have finished. The handle
rests at four on a clock face.
• If soup is served in a two-handled cream soup bowl or
bouillon cup, place the spoon on the saucer between
sips and when you have finished. Never leave the spoon
in a cup or bowl. The handle rests at four on a clock
face.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• Do glance around the table at the other guests and pace
your eating. You don’t want to be the first or the last
person to finish a course. Awareness is the key.
Second Course: A fish course may be arranged on plates
and served, or served as described below.
• The fish course is served to you on your left side from a
platter held by a waitstaff. Take the serving fork in your
left hand and the serving spoon in your right.
• After you have served yourself, place the serving spoon
and fork on the platter as shown in the illustration in
your workbook and on the slide you viewed earlier.
• Hold the fish fork this way. Tines should be down when
the fork is held in the left hand.
• The fish knife is held the way a pencil is held, steadied
between the index finger and the middle finger. Both
the fish knife and fork can be used for the fish course.
• This is the correct way to place the fish on your fork.
The fork is held in the left hand and the knife is used to
cut and secure the fish on the fork.
• If the fish is soft and boneless, it is correct to use only
the fish fork. When the fork is held in the right hand,
the tines are up. If you are eating only with the fork, do
not put the knife on your plate. Leave it on the table
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
until you finish the course. When using only the fork,
hold it in the right hand, the way a pencil is held,
steadied between the index finger and the middle finger,
except that the thumb is turned up rather than down, as
when one is writing.
• When the fish course is finished, place your knife and
fork as shown. The tines of the fork are down if you are
eating Continental style; up if eating in the American
style. The cutting edge of the knife blade faces the fork.
This is the "I am finished" position and should be used
at the end of each course when a knife and fork are used.
Visualize the face of a clock, and place the knife and
fork in the approximate position of 10:20 o’clock ... the
tip of the knife and fork at 10 and the handles at 4.
The English place the knife and fork in the 6:00 o’clock
position to indicate " I am finished" for all courses.
Third Course: Sorbet (Sherbet)
• Sorbet is served to clear the palate. Many years ago,
sorbets were served between each course. Now, it’s
usually served after the fish course.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Fourth Course: A meat dish consisting of beef or fowl may
be arranged on plates and served, or served as described
below.
• The meat course platter is held by a waitstaff and served
on your left side. Vegetables on the platter should also be
placed on your plate with the spoon and fork following the
same steps. After you have served yourself, place the
serving spoon and fork on the platter, spoon on the right
and the fork on the left, as shown in the workbook
illustration and on the slide we viewed earlier. This shows
consideration for the next person to be served.
• Vegetables may also be offered from separate platters. To
place vegetables on your plate, follow the same procedure
with the serving spoon and fork. When serving yourself,
take small portions. If you do not like what is served, you
may refuse it with a polite "no, thank you."
• The meat knife is not held like the fish knife because
more leverage is needed for cutting. The index finger
points down the handle and firmly presses down.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• The fork is held in the left hand, tines down, when one is
cutting food.
• Spear the meat with the fork and cut off a bite-size piece
with the knife. Cut only one piece at a time. To secure
the meat on the tines of the fork, put the knife blade
underneath the piece of meat and twist the hand
slightly.
• In the Continental style of eating, a small amount of
potatoes, rice, or vegetables may be placed on the tines
of the fork with the meat.
• Convey the fork to the mouth by twisting your wrist and
raising your forearm slightly.
•
The Resting Position, Continental Style. Picture an
inverted V. The knife and fork are crossed on your
plate, with the fork over the knife, tines pointed down.
Each handle extends about an inch over the rim of your
plate. Trained waitstaff will not remove your plate with
the knife and fork crossed because they know you are
not finished.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• When eating only with the fork, place it tines up on your
plate when you are finished, in the 10:20 position.
Remove the knife from the table to your plate.
Fifth Course: Salad may be arranged on plates and placed
in front of the diners.
• The salad course may be eaten with the salad knife and
fork. If you think the salad may be eaten with the salad
fork alone, the knife may be left on the table until you
have finished, and then place both the fork and knife in
the 10:20 "I am finished" position.
• Cheese served with the salad: The cheese platter will be
served to you on your left side by a waitstaff. Cheese
and small pieces of bread or crackers and some grapes
will be on the platter. Use the cheese server on the tray
and place a portion on your salad plate, along with some
bread or crackers. Use your salad knife to place small
portions of cheese on the bread or crackers.
A cheese platter may also be placed on the table for
guests to help themselves. When the platter reaches
you, serve yourself and then offer the platter to the diner
on your right.
Place the knife and fork in the 10:20 "I am finished"
position when you have finished eating your salad and
cheese.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Sixth Course: Dessert may be arranged on plates and
placed in front of the diners, or served as described below.
• The dessert plate is served with the finger bowl, spoon,
and fork on the plate.
• Remove the fork to the left and the spoon to the right.
Then remove the finger bowl with the doily and place it
on the table to the upper left of your plate. Dessert is
placed on the plate.
• Dessert may be eaten with the fork in the left hand, tines
down, and the spoon in the right. Eat with the spoon.
The fork can serve as a pusher. Eat pie or cake with a
fork; for ice cream or pudding, use a spoon. Leave the
other utensil in place on the table until you have
finished. Then place both the fork and spoon in the "I
am finished" position. The spoon rests above the fork.
Continental style, the tines of the fork are down.
American style, the tines are up.
Toasting: After dessert is served to the guests and
champagne is poured, the Host proposes a toast to the Guest
of Honor.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• The Host at each table will rise and present his or her
toast to the Guest of Honor. Once the Host is finished,
the Guest of Honor will rise and present his or her toast.
I will cue you. Be mindful of your napkin. Place it on
your chair. Push your chair under the table.
Training Facilitator: Cue the Host and Guest of Honor at each
table to present his or her toast. Make an appropriate positive
comment about each toast.
• Other guests may now present their toasts.
anyone else wish to present a toast?
Does
Training Facilitator: Allow all participants who wish to present a
toast to do so. Make an appropriate positive remark about each.
• Coffee is usually served after the dessert has been placed
before the diners. Classical formal dinners dictated that
coffee was served as a separate course away from the
table. Demitasse and chocolate candies are often served
when guests have assembled back in the living room.
• After dessert has been eaten and the plate removed,
reach to your left, using both hands, and pick up the
finger bowl and doily in one gesture and place them in
front of you. Dip one set of fingertips, dry them, then
dip the other set of fingertips. Dry the fingertips below
table level, never above it.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
• The Host is the first to place the napkin on the table to
signal the end of the meal. The Host makes certain all
of the guests have finished eating before making this
final move. Then the guests place their napkins on the
table. The napkin is not refolded, but is picked up by
the center and placed loosely to the left side of your
place setting.
Seventh Course: Demitasse and Candy
• When entertaining at home, it is more refined to serve
these away from the table in the living room, thus giving
the guests an opportunity to visit the restroom.
However, when entertaining at a club or restaurant,
coffee is often served with dessert.
NOTE: It is the duty of the host to make the first move to
leave the table. Guests should always be aware of the actions
of a host and follow his or her lead.
Training Facilitator: After the Dining Tutorial, tell the Host and
Guest of Honor at each table to stand at the entrance to the dining
room to shake hands and say goodbye to each participant. You
will also stand at the end of the line, say goodbye, and thank each
person for attending Dine Like a Diplomat.
The Following Day: Write each participant a thank-you note for
attending.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
Sponsor: Write the sponsor of the event a thank-you letter and
mention the enthusiasm of the group.
Note: You may choose to present each participant a certificate of
attendance.
MENU SAMPLE
Following is a sample copy of the menu used by The
Protocol School of Washington®. Menu card size is 5" by 7.25".
They can be ordered through PaperDirect.com and will easily go
through your printer.
SEATING AT NUMBERED TABLES
Following the menu sample is a reprint of the system we used
at the tutorial luncheon. If you do not provide place cards, provide
each participant a copy to facilitate locating their seat.
NOTE: Wine for each course was not placed on the following
menu. It is suggested that you consult with the sommelier at the
restaurant you are using, if the client wishes to provide wine.
Additional information:
• Forms of service.
• Illustrations of knives, forks, spoons and glasses.
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
SAMPLE MENU CARD
Menu
Tomato Consommé
Salmon Mousse
Sorbet
Sauteed Breast of Chicken
Citrus Sauce
Medley of Seasonal Vegetables
Potato Puffs
Mixed Lettuce, Pear Slices
Walnut Vinaigrette
Raspberry Crème Bruleé
Demitasse
Chocolate Truffles
YOUR NAME/COMPANY NAME
RESTAURANT/HOTEL
DATE
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DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
FOR YOUR INFORMATION ONLY
- not to be used as a handout -
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Copyright © 1988 - 2015 The Protocol School of Washington®. All rights reserved.
DINE LIKE A DIPLOMAT
FOR YOUR INFORMATION ONLY
-not to be used as a handout-
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Copyright © 1988 - 2015 The Protocol School of Washington®. All rights reserved.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION ONLY
-not to be used as a handoutThe Protocol School of Washington®
THE LEADER IN PROTOCOL AND ETIQUETTE SERVICES
Forms of Service
Service describes the manner of presenting various dishes. Table service
also takes into account the ensemble of objects which are used at the
table: linens, plates, glasses, and silverware. The utensils required to
serve a special part of the meal are called “services” - coffee service, tea
service, dessert service, fruit service, etc. The French call the personnel
of the restaurant who are responsible for serving meals the “service”.
Described herein are three classical forms of service common worldwide.
The fourth form of service is used primarily in the United States of
America.
Service à la française A server presents the arranged platter to the
guest from the left. The guest proceeds to serve himself (herself).
Considered the classiest service, it is customary at formal dinners in
America and abroad.
Service à l’anglaise A server presents the arranged platter from the
left and serves the guest. This service is considered more economical and
appropriate for banquets because a server can limit the portions served.
Service à la russe
A server presents the decorated meat, fish,
poultry, game, or other dish in one piece on the platter, then carves it in
front of the guests. Urban Dubois popularized this service back in the
1860s. Originally, the chef decorated each dish, brought it to the dining
salon and paraded it around the table, then returned the dish to the kitchen
for carving and service.
Today, this service employs a small serving table (guéridon) which is
usually equipped with a side burner (réchaud). A server brings the dish to
the serving table where it is carved and served. This form of service is
common in upscale restaurants worldwide.
Service American Style The food is placed directly on the guest’s
plate. This service has the advantage of being fast and uncomplicated. It
does not require professional service.
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