toddlers
Living with
Toddlers
All about toddlers
Keeping toddlers safe
Taming toddler
tantrums
Feeding toddlers
Games
Sleepy time
Toilet training
Learning to talk
Living with toddlers
www.community.nsw.gov.au 1
toddlers
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Contents
3 All about toddlers
4 Changes and fears
5 Keeping toddlers safe
8 Taming toddler tantrums
10 Teaching your child about
good behaviour
1 Help! My child bites . . .
1
12 Feeding toddlers
14 Sleepy-time
16 Toilet training time
18 Games
19 Learning to talk
20 Child care
22 A new baby in the family
23 Looking after yourself
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Useful contact numbers
In this magazine ‘he’ and ‘she’ is
used in turn. Please change to suit
your child’s sex if you prefer.
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This magazine has been produced by the
Media and Communication Branch of the
NSW Department of Community Services.
Acknowledgements
The information in this magazine has
been adapted from material provided
under an agreement with Parenting SA.
Illustrations page 8-9 by Peter Sheehan.
Models are used throughout the
magazine unless otherwise stated.
© DoCS March 2009
ISBN: 1 74190 074 3
NSW Department of Community Services
www.community.nsw.gov.au
To report a child at
risk of harm, ring
the DoCS 24 hour
Helpline 132 111
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of this work may be reproduced, translated, modified, reduced, transmitted or stored in any
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by any information storage or retrieval system without prior written permission of the NSW
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Requests and enquiries concerning reproduction and rights are welcome and should be
addressed to Media and Communication, NSW Department of Community Services, Locked
Bag 4028, Ashfield NSW 2131. While every care has been taken in the preparation of Living
with toddlers and the information it contains is believed to be accurate, DoCS suggests that
professional advice be sought where necessary. DoCS cannot be liable for any error, omission
or for damages arising from the supply, performance or use of this material and makes no
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Living with toddlers
all about toddlers
All about
toddlers
Life can be very exciting for your toddler as they grow
rapidly between the ages of one and three!
This is a time of many changes for
toddlers as they grow to become
separate, independent people.
As a parent, you may be unsure about
how to handle these changes. In many
ways, toddlers are still babies and they
need your love and support. They can
move from being independent and
‘I do myself’ to being very needy and
dependent again, all within a short
space of time. They want to feel safe and
free. Knowing what is happening for
your toddler will help you to be more
patient and understanding.
Sometimes when toddlers are on the
way to learning self control, children
will say ‘No! No! No!’ to themselves while
they do something that they shouldn’t.
They are not meaning to disobey you.
They are on the way to learning what
they mustn’t do, but haven’t quite got
there yet.
Toddlers are:
R active and curious - they want to
explore, touch, open, shut, throw
and empty
R learning who they are and trying out
their wills – they like to say No!
R learning to walk, talk, feed
themselves, toilet train
R learning about living with others
Living with toddlers
R starting to learn how to show love,
how not to hurt others, how to share
and take turns.
Toddlers are not able to:
R understand reason or understand
why we want them to do one thing
and not another
R sit still, wait, share or control their
R get angry and rebel sometimes
R not want to share and to say ‘That’s
mine’
R want to make some choices for
themselves
R find it hard to cope with changes
R want to be like their parents, eg try
on lipsticks and use parents’ tools
angry feelings; they will learn all
these things, but they cannot do
them well yet
R want to feel very secure and safe but
R stop themselves from doing the
sometimes.
Encourage your toddler, give them
time to explore and allow them to
make simple choices. They like to test
out their independence and will come
back to you for comfort. They need your
patience and understanding!
wrong thing; they still need adults to
remind them and to keep them safe.
It is normal for toddlers to:
R want to say ‘No’ and show they have
a mind of their own
at the same time be free
R get upset and ‘fall in a heap’
Talk…and listen…to your toddler
The way you listen to your toddler is as important as what you say. Talk to
your toddler with respect and care and they will learn to talk to you in the
same way. Give your child time to say something without interrupting or
thinking about how you’ll respond.
Look at your child’s face when he’s talking – it shows you’re interested. Your
toddler’s behaviour may say more than his words - pick up on the cues.
Share activities like putting toys away – it’s a good way to talk together.
Take time to find out what things are special in your child’s life today.
RRRRR
3
coping with
changes
Changes …
can be stressful for toddler!
The arrival of a new baby, being sick, moving house, sleeping in a
new bed or being separated from Mum and Dad are all things that
can stress toddlers. They also can get upset if Mum and Dad are
fighting or crying. A toddler does not have the words to say how
he is feeling so he may show this stress through his behaviour.
Your toddler will need you to help them
learn to be independent and feel good
about themselves. At the same time you
don’t want them to be unsafe or have a
home life that is full of battles.
Toddlers do not need to be forced to
‘be good’. They need your approval, love
and affection more than anything else
- then they will be ready to accept limits.
Helping your toddler cope with
change
v Give your toddler extra attention
– and allow him to be a baby for a
while.
v Be positive. For example instead
of saying ‘Don’t slam the door’, say
‘I know that you can shut the door
quietly, let’s see you do it’. Then praise
them for learning a new skill.
v Make up fun games where your
child can practise saying ‘No’ eg
‘Does Daddy sleep in the bath?’
‘Does the cat say moo?’
v Don’t give your child a choice if
there isn’t one. For example, if you
have to pick up an older child from
school, don’t ask your toddler if she
wants to come, say ‘We’re going to
the school in the car now’.
v If there is something she does not
want to do, try to make a game of
it. You could say ‘See if you can hop
like a kangaroo to the bath,’ or make
having a bath more attractive.
v Distract instead of ordering. For
example ‘Let’s get out the building
blocks,’ rather than ‘Stop doing that’.
v If your child refuses to come with
you and there is no time to use any
of
the
above
methods, pick
her up and carry her.
Don’t threaten to leave her as this is
very frightening for young children.
Help with fears
Let your child know that you understand he has fears, and you don’t think he’s silly or babyish.
It is never useful to force children to face their fears and can often make things worse.
Remember that the world can seem very fearful to children of this age, because there are
lots of things they don’t understand yet.
Things to try for some fears
Fears about going down the hole. Let your child bathe in a baby bath for a while,
and don’t pull out the plug while he is still in the bath. Let him use a potty instead of
the toilet or let him flush the toilet himself with your supervision.
Fears about nightmares. If he has a nightmare tell him that ‘It is only a dream, it goes
away, and you’re safe’. Cuddle and comfort him until he settles.
Fears of monsters. Tell him that there are no monsters. Don’t look for monsters in
the room, because he may think that you believe there are some there to look for.
Fears of separation. Stay with him until he feels more secure. Let your child have his
comforter or dummy when he needs it, to help him feel safer. Some children will need
their dummy or comforter until they are three or four years old.
Fears of the dark. Stay with your child to reassure him. Perhaps use a night light. Let him
sleep in the same room as a brother, sister or parent. Keep to bedtime routines, eg the same
number of kisses goodnight or the same story.
4
Living with toddlers
keeping toddlers
safe
Keeping toddlers
safe
Toddlers need to have a safe environment. They are too
young to know how to behave safely. Telling them and
teaching them about danger does not keep them safe.
Keeping your toddler safe is your responsibility.
Keep a first aid kit in the house and car
and keep emergency phone numbers
in easy reach and where everyone can
find them. Doing a first aid course for
children is really useful.
Toys and play
Check toys and play equipment
regularly for sharp edges, splinters and
loose parts and make sure that the
surface under climbing frames and
swings is soft.
Toys for young children should not
have small, loose parts that can be
broken off and swallowed.
Baby walkers often cause injuries and
should not be used.
D
Falls
Falls are the major cause
of toddler injury.
You can help by padding
sharp corners of furniture,
using barrier gates or locking
doors to stop your child going
into dangerous places.
Avoid using bunk beds with
toddlers.
Make sure you use straps on the
high chair and pram/stroller and
don’t leave young children alone
on change tables, high chairs, or
playground equipment.
Teach your toddler how to climb
down as well as climb up.
D
Check on your toddler –
don’t leave him alone
in the car.
Making your home toddler-proof!
D
D Give your toddler interesting things to play with around the home, e.g. a
pile of cushions to climb over, a cardboard box tunnel to crawl through, a
cubby house under the table.
D Make sure that there is a safe place and space for your child to explore and run every day.
D Make sure that you lock away any medications or drugs so that your toddler can’t get to them.
D Put childproof locks on kitchen cupboards and covers over power points.
D If you have a swimming pool make sure that you have an
approved fence around it with a childproof lock.
D Make sure that any garden gates or fences are secure, so your toddler is not able to run out onto the driveway or street.
D If children have to go somewhere in the car or wait in a waiting room, take some toys or books to keep them busy.
Living with toddlers
5
keeping toddlers
safe
Poisoning
Burns and scalds
l
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6
Keep hot things well away from the
edge of tables.
Turn saucepan handles away from
the edge of the stove. Use a stove
guard.
Use placemats instead of
tablecloths.
Have short or curly electric cords
that don’t hang over the side of
benches.
Be careful of hot irons and cords
dangling when ironing.
Remember that many toddlers can
light matches and lighters, and
unscrew the globes on Christmas
tree lights.
To help prevent scalding from
hot water, make sure that the hot
water for your bath, shower and
basin comes out at 50 degrees
Centigrade or less. You can attach
a safety shut-off device directly to
the tap, or your plumber can install
a device which automatically mixes
cold water with the hot, to limit the
temperature. The water heater itself
should maintain stored water at 60
degrees Centigrade minimum.
Run cold water into the bath first.
If a child has a burn or scald, put
the burnt area under running cold
water for at least 20 minutes.
Use fireguards for open fires, pot
belly stoves and radiators.
Keep a fire extinguisher or fire
blanket in the kitchen.
DPut locks on shed doors and keep
Toddlers explore everywhere they can
reach and still put things into their
mouths. They don’t understand poison
signs.
l Keep kitchen and laundry
detergents out of reach, best in
a locked cupboard. Dishwasher
powder is particularly dangerous.
l Use a child-proof medicine
cupboard for all medicines
(including oral contraceptives).
l Check that visitors don’t leave bags
with tablets in them in your child’s
reach.
l Lock garden products away.
l Keep poisons in their original,
labelled containers.
l Never put poisons into food or drink
containers.
shut.
DWrite the Poisons Information
number 131126 and the number
for an ambulance 000 next to
your telephone.
Choking and suffocating
l
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Check that there are no small
objects or coins left lying around.
Don’t give your child hard pieces of
food such as raw carrot to chew.
Toddlers should sit down when
eating.
Stay with your
child when he
is eating.
Never
give
toddlers
nuts.
Don’t
force
your
child to eat
anything he
does not want.
Tie empty plastic bags with a knot
in the middle so that they cannot be
put over your child’s head.
Cords or ribbons on toys, dummies
and clothing should be short and
out of reach so they can’t choke your
child.
Drowning
Most children who drown are under four
years old. Drowning happens very quickly
and quietly. Young children can drown in
only a few centimetres of water. Teaching
your toddler to swim will not prevent
drowning.
DStay with your child whenever he
is near or in water, such as the
bath, paddle pools, buckets
or at the beach, creeks,
rivers, swimming pools
and dams.
DKeep a lid on nappy
buckets and keep
them out of reach.
DWater can collect
in all sorts of things
after rain. Empty
them!
DMake sure that the paddle pool is
emptied after every use.
DAll other pools should be fenced,
with a self-locking gate.
Living with toddlers
keeping toddlers
safe
l
Cords on curtains and blinds need to
be short or out of reach.
l
Some old or antique cots and
high chairs are not safe for young
children.
l Keep older children’s toys (anything
with small pieces) away from
toddlers.
Shopping
l
Never leave babies and young
children alone in the car while you
shop.
l Take care when using supermarket
shopping carts, as they can tip up,
even if you are using the safety
seat, especially if a toddler pulls
on them.
Car safety
Babies, toddlers and children
must be kept safe in cars with
properly fitted and approved child
restraints or child safety seats.
Always stop the car when you
need to turn around to attend to
your child in the back seat. It is so
easy to get distracted and have an
accident.
Never leave babies and children
alone in the car. They can become
seriously ill when temperatures
in cars change quickly in summer and winter. Children also get
bored and explore the car’s knobs
and buttons which can be dangerous or they may try to struggle free from their seatbelts and
become injured. They may also
be in danger of someone trying to
steal the car.
Traffic safety
Teach your toddler to be
safe in traffic by making
sure you hold their
hand when they
are near roads
and always cross
at a pedestrian
crossing.
Teach your
toddler about
safe ways to cross
roads. Remember
that while they may
begin to remember
rules, they are unable to
understand them, no matter how
many times they are told.
Make sure fences and gates at home
are toddler-proof so they are unable
to run out onto the road.
Sun
DWhenever possible keep children
in the shade. Teach them to play
in the shade.
DMake sure their
favourite play
areas are
shaded.
D Children
can get
sunburnt
even
on cold,
cloudy
summer
days.
DSunlight
through the glass
of car windows can
burn the skin.
Living with toddlers
DIn the sun use a hat and clothing
that covers arms and legs, such
as cover-up bathers.
D Sunscreen
can be used in
small amounts
on young
children on
areas that
are not
covered by
clothing.
Some
sunscreens
irritate the
eyes and
sensitive skin.
It needs to be
re-applied often. Zinc
cream is an effective sun block.
Electrocution
l
Use an earth leakage circuit breaker
in your fuse box or switchboard. It
will switch the power off if there is
an electrical fault and so prevent
injury. It needs to be installed by an
electrician.
l Buy covers for powerpoints to stop
toddlers poking things into them.
l Don’t use electric blankets for young
children especially if there is a
chance of bedwetting.
Be careful of electrical appliances
near water - it is easy to get
electrocuted.
l Put all electrical appliances away
after use and use only wall-mounted
heaters in bathrooms and install
them up high.
l
Passive smoking
Avoid smoking in the house, in the car
and around children, because when you
smoke, children smoke too. Chemicals in
cigarettes and tobacco smoke can affect
children’s health. Children are more likely
to smoke if they see you smoking.
7
taming toddler
tantrums
Taming Toddler
Tantrums…
Toddler tantrums can test any parent’s patience!
If your toddler is having tantrums, you’re not alone - nearly all
toddlers have tantrums at some time.
Tantrums happen when toddlers get upset, angry, frustrated and
stressed – often because there are so many things that they want
to do but can’t yet.
Sometimes toddlers have a tantrum when they feel jealous, scared,
unwanted, insecure or unloved.
Little tantrums… only last a short time
and your child’s feelings are not totally
out of control.
Your toddler is still too little to be able to
cope with stress and frustration very well.
He does not always have the words to say
what he needs or wants. It can feel like
his world is full of bigger people telling
him what to do and what not to do.
Sometimes toddlers learn that busy
parents are likely to give in to what they
want if they ‘carry on’ long enough, so
they whinge and whine and have little
tantrums.
If you give in easily, your toddler learns
that tantrums work, for example, she
gets something if she pesters long
enough.
If little tantrums happen often and
seem to be about ‘something small’, it’s
usually because the ‘something small’
has come on top of a lot of other
stresses or frustration in your child’s
life, so it becomes the thing that tips
him into a tantrum. Have a think about
whether your child:
q is frustrated from not being able to
have or do something
q needs attention
q is tired, hungry or unwell
q is stressed about starting childcare
or a new baby in the house
q has seen you and your partner
fighting or upset. Remember your
moods and behaviours affect your
child.
Mean what you say!
q Don’t give in to your child who
has a tantrum because he wants
something. If the tantrum is small
you might try saying “No” and giving
a reason once. For example “No,
you can’t have a biscuit because it is
almost dinner time”.
Try to prevent little
tantrums becoming big
tantrums by spending lots of
relaxed time with your child,
giving him plenty of room
to move and explore and
praising all the good things
about him.
8
q Try to distract your child by giving
him something else to do. Let
him help you cook dinner, choose
a snack that you approve of or
do something fun. Warm baths
sometime help calm toddlers who
are having ‘little tantrums’.
q Sometimes you can just ignore little
tantrums. Sometimes being busy
and doing something will help
tantrums blow over.
Big tantrums
Big tantrums are the ‘boil over’ kind
where children can no longer control
their feelings. This kind of tantrum is very
frightening for children, as well as for
many parents.
When your child has this kind of
tantrum she can’t listen to reason.
Punishments such as consequences
or time-out don’t work. Ignoring
this kind of tantrum can be
frightening for your child, because
when she is out of control she
needs to learn that feelings can be
controlled. She needs to know that
you are in control.
q
It’s never helpful to punish
or hit a child to try to stop a
tantrum.
Living with toddlers
q
taming toddler
tantrums
Shopping centre tantrums
Tantrums in public are hard to cope
with. Most parents feel embarrassed or
worry about others watching how they
handle the situation. If they happen
often, consider leaving your children
with someone else when you go on
long shopping trips.
Coping on ‘one of those
days’ …
When your child copes
well tell her you are
pleased that she behaved
so well – reward good
behaviour!
Plan to avoid tantrums – if possible
If you do take them to the shops make
sure they are not tired when you go. Take
a snack for them to eat, make sure they
have been to the toilet and try not to be
too long. Let them help by getting things
from the supermarket shelf for you.
Chatting to other adults can result in
young children getting bored, irritable
and restless. Make the shopping trip a
treat for everyone by having a drink or a
little time in the park afterwards.
If a tantrum does happen you need
to be strong enough to leave the
shopping basket where it is and take
your child somewhere quiet until the
tantrum is over.
Some days are worse than others. If
you can see at the beginning of the
day that it is going to be ‘one of those
days’ take some time to do something
relaxing with your child straight away.
Leave whatever you thought you had
to do and see if you can make the day
a better one.
Some relaxing, fun things to do with
your toddler include:
q a walk in the park, or around the
block
q sitting with your child to watch a
video
q play music or dance, read a story or
do some drawing or playdoh.
Here are some handy tips:
qmake sure there are lots of good
things in your child’s day
qgo on outings after sleeps and meals
not when your child is hungry or
tired
qdistract her “Look what I have got here”
qkeep a diary for a few days when the tantrums happen,
note what time of day, and
what you and your child are
doing when it happens. If
having a tantrum yourself doesn’t
it always happens around
help! Your child will copy you and
tea time, try letting your
learn from the way you handle
child have her tea earlier,
giving her a bath before tea,
their tantrums.
letting her help you prepare
the meal, or having some
special time with her at this
time of day.
Remember
qqq
What parents can do when tantrums happen!
The most important thing is to stay calm and let your child
know that you are in control, that you can keep him safe and
you will not punish or leave him. It is important for him to
learn to manage his own feelings.
q Don’t try to reason with your child at this time, he won’t
be able to ‘hear’ you.
q Stay with your child during the tantrum. Hold him if you
can, if not, stay nearby where he can come to you when
the worst of the storm is over.
q Talk to your child gently but firmly about how he feels and
what is happening to him. You could say “You are feeling
really upset and I will stay with you until you feel better. It’s
alright to cry when you feel upset, but I won’t let you hit/kick
etc.” You might have to hold your child to prevent this.
q It is important not to give in to whatever your child was
wanting which started the tantrum – even though this
may be difficult to do!
q When the tantrum is over, suggest something for him to
Living with toddlers
do that you are happy with, giving both of you time to
wind down.
q When you manage the tantrum you teach your child that
angry feelings don’t have to take over, and they can be
managed and expressed in helpful ways. You are also
teaching that however bad things are, you will not
let him down.
q Do not threaten – threatening to leave will make
him feel even more frustrated.
q If you are unable to stay
near because your own
feelings are in danger
of getting out of
control and it is unsafe,
tell your child that you
will be leaving for a
short time but will be back
soon to look after him. Make sure
he is safe and get someone else
to stay with him.
9
good behaviour
Teaching your
toddler about
good
behaviour
Toddlers need discipline, limits and guidance. They need to feel safe and secure while
learning to get along with others and to live in society. The best discipline leads to children
learning self-discipline.
Discipline is not physical punishment!
Discipline is about teaching your child
what to do, and setting clear limits
about what not to do that your child
can understand. Discipline should be
positive and used to encourage good
behaviour, and to stop bad behaviour.
Here are some positive things to do:
a praise your toddler when they do
something well e.g when they eat
their dinner, put
their toys away,
play well with their
brothers and sisters
a teach what you want (say it clearly
a use consequences – helping your
and show a young child)
a distract or offer alternatives if your
child is doing something you don’t
like instead of saying ‘Don’t’
a give your
child a
choice of
something
similar he
can do, e.g.
‘You can play
your drum
outside or
play a quiet game in here’
child to learn from what she has
done e.g. when
she makes a
mess, get her to
help you clean
it up
a ignore things
that don’t
matter. They are
more likely to
stop if no one notices
a think about what you are about to
say - how would you feel if an adult
spoke to you in this way.
Making the rules
When telling your child what you want
him to do, make sure you:
l have only a few rules because too
many rules can be confusing and
lead to failure
l are clear. Saying ‘No’ to your toddler
without explanation of why it’s
wrong means little to him and he is
likely to do it again. If you give too
much information at once he won’t
remember and if you don’t give
enough he won’t know what to do
10
l
both understand what you mean.
‘Be polite’ may not mean anything to
a very young child
l choose your time well. Trying to
teach your son while he is watching
his favourite television program is
not likely to be successful
l know what your child is able
to do. If the task is too hard your
child may fail and you may feel
disappointed or angry
l don’t give your toddler a choice if
there isn’t one
l
don’t give mixed messages to
your child. The way you look can
give a different message from what
you say. Laughing at your son’s
mischievous behaviour while you
say “No” may leave him wondering if
you approve or not
l are prepared to back up what you
say with action. If you do not follow
through with what you said would
happen if he disobeyed, your child is
likely to disobey next time.
Living with toddlers
good behaviour
‘Time in’
‘Time in’ means to remove your child
from the situation that she cannot
manage to spend time with an adult.
Keep her with you while you help to
settle her, or just hold her until she is
able to get calm again. By being with
her through this you are teaching her
about managing feelings and difficult
situations.
‘Time in’ can be a more positive and
effective way of teaching than ‘time
out’.
‘Time out’
It is never helpful to use time out for
children under the age of three years.
It is often more helpful to remove your
child from a difficult situation and keep
her with you for a while. It is especially
important for an adult to stay near if
your child’s feelings are very strong.
If you are getting too stressed and are
likely to harm your child, may sure they
are safe with someone else and then
take some ‘time out’ yourself. For more
support see page 23.
Some discipline
is not ok
Hitting, punching or striking a
child is never acceptable. In NSW it
is against the law to use excessive
physical punishment against a
child. This law applies to parents
and to people acting in the place
of a parent.
The law says that it is unacceptable
to use physical force on:
l any part of your child’s head or
neck (unless it is insignificant)
l any other part of your child’s
body if the harm it causes lasts
for more than a short time.
There are more effective
ways of disciplining
children than using
physical punishment.
If you use physical
punishment with your
toddler chances are they
will copy you and bully
others.
Help! My child bites…
If your toddler is going through a biting stage – don’t despair! Biting
is fairly common among young children. Biting is often very painful
and frightening for the child (or adult) who is bitten. It can also be
frightening for the child who bites, because it upsets the other child
and makes adults angry. Children bite for different reasons – to see
what it’s like or because they feel frustrated, stressed or powerless.
Biting is one way that babies explore the world. They put everything into
their mouths – it’s common for babies to bite your breast when they are
feeding.
What parents can do
a Get in first and try to avoid situations that your child can’t cope with – keep play groups small, make sure your child doesn’t
a
a
a
a
a
get tired and stressed by playing for too long.
Try and protect your child so that she doesn’t need to bite.
If she is playing with older children, explain to them how your child feels and ask them to share toys and games.
Constantly supervise small children and make separate play places for older and younger children if necessary.
Step in when two children may be fighting over the same toy.
If your child has already bitten, quickly tell her that she is not to bite and remove her from the situation and keep her with
you for a while before letting her return.
Remember to always comfort your child - whatever the reason for the bite. Whatever you do, don’t bite back or
respond by physically punishing your child - it only teaches them to be violent towards others.
Living with toddlers
11
feeding fussy
toddlers
Feeding
toddlers
Feeding toddlers can
sometimes be a problem for
parents!
Toddlers like to choose
when and what they eat.
As they grow, their appetite
sometimes decreases and
at the same time they are
learning to try different foods,
which they might not like.
Toddlers can be worried by
too many changes and like to
keep to the few things they
know well.
Toddlers like to show they are starting to
learn to think for themselves and often
do this by saying ‘No’ to some foods!
Help your toddler learn about food
and eating
You can encourage your child to eat
well by being a good role model
yourself – eat healthy, regular meals
and the chances are your toddler will
want to join you. Children have small
stomachs - about the size of their fist,
and large serves can be off-putting. Try
some of these tips to make eating more
of a pleasure and less of a battlefield!
12
k
k Make eating fun by having different
k Allow children to help prepare the
sorts of food and colours (e.g.
different coloured vegetables).
k Keep offering the food on several
occasions. It can take 8 to 15 tries
before the food becomes familiar
and a child accepts it.
k Provide a range of nutritious food
and give children a choice – give
them small serves and let them ask
for more.
meal, it takes longer but encourages
them to be interested in food (and
good cooks in the future).
k Avoid biscuits, soft drinks, sweets,
cordials and too much fruit juice
as these are high in sugar and take
away the appetite for other foods.
k Give your toddler the main part of
her evening meal early so she is not
too tired to eat.
kkk
Living with toddlers
feeding fussy
toddlers
What to feed toddlers
Toddlers will eat different amounts
on different days depending on
their day’s activity, if they are tired or
unwell.
Here’s a rough guide to the amounts
and types to offer, but don’t worry if
your child doesn’t actually eat all of
these every day:
• vegetables - two to four serves
• fruit - one to two serves
• dairy foods (milk, cheese, yoghurt)
– three serves
• meat, eggs, fish, lentils etc – one to
two small serves
• breads, cereals, rice and pasta
– three to five serves.
Young children need some fat in
their diet for growth and energy. For
children over 12 months, cow’s milk
is an excellent source of nutrition.
Reduced fat milk is not recommended
for children under two years and skim
milk is not recommended for children
under five years.
Snacks
Active young children don’t like to sit
still for long and may be better with
several small meals rather than three
larger ones. Healthy snacks are a great
idea. Here are some suggestions for
snacks or lunches:
k pieces of fresh fruit and vegetables
(be careful of hard bits of food that
could break off and cause choking)
- grate or cook raw carrot, apple etc
k cheese cubes or sticks
k dry biscuits (unsalted), bread or
toast with creamed or cottage
Toddlers can get messy
when they are learning
to feed themselves! Put
newspaper on the floor
and a big feeder or bib on
your toddler. The more
practice they get in
doing it for themselves,
the quicker they
will learn to feed
themselves well.
k
k
k
k
k
k
cheese or a little Vegemite
iceblocks made from freezing fruit
or pure fruit juices (whole bananas
freeze well)
hard boiled eggs
yoghurt
home made biscuits
do not give whole nuts to
toddlers.
Drinks
k Water is the best drink to quench
thirst. Always have plenty of water
available and show your toddler
that you enjoy drinking it too.
k Avoid fruit juice drinks because
they contain a lot of sugar. If fruit
juice is given it should be diluted
with water in small amounts.
k Limit full cream milk to about 600
mls a day so there is room for other
foods.
Vegetarian diets
If your family does not eat meat your
child can get good nutrition from
other foods such as milk, cheese, eggs,
fruit and vegetables. Dried beans and
peas, seeds and nuts give vegetable
protein (grind nuts into a paste for
children under five years).
If you are a vegan and don’t eat any
animal foods (milk, cheese, eggs etc)
you will need medical advice to ensure
your child has all the vitamins they
need.
Children know how much food
they need.
If you push them to eat more than
they want or feel they need to finish
everything on the plate, they may
learn not to stop when they are full.
This can lead to weight
problems later.
k
Living with toddlers
13
sleep
Sleepy-time
– helping your toddler (and
you!) get a good night’s sleep
Battles at bed time are all too common if there’s a toddler in your house! Children often do not want to
go to sleep. Going to sleep means missing out on things. Many children are still afraid of the separation
at night, especially those under three.
Try these rituals to make
bedtime easier:
•
a relaxed bath
•
a drink
•
read them a story
•
have a cuddle, kiss and tell them
‘goodnight’ .
Remember - the half hour before bed
is not a good time for tickles, wrestles,
quarrels, TV or other excitement. It
helps to have a 'wind down' time and
dim the lights to help prepare for
sleep.
Let children know in advance that
bedtime is coming, eg. ‘just one more
game and then it's time to get ready
for bed’ - and mean what you say. This
can prevent the pestering for more
time to stay up.
Explain to children that everything
they want has to be done before bed.
Calls for drinks, trips to the toilet, etc.
14
Some children can relax more easily
with a night light, soft music or a story
tape playing.
other times they need help to go back
to sleep.
•
Try to settle him in his bed when he
first goes to sleep (not in your bed
or in front of the TV).
•
During the night when he wakes,
go to him and quietly reassure
him that everything is all right. Say
something like 'sleep time now',
then walk out of the room as long
as he is not crying.
•
If your child comes into your room
when he wakes, lead him back to
his bed and resettle him there.
•
Have a small mattress near your
bed – settle your toddler in their
own bed first and tell them they
can come into your room if they
wake up or put a spare bed in
your child's room, so that you can
be comfortable and can rest while
he needs you close.
v Many toddlers like to take a special
toy to bed or have their dummy.
v Some also need the door open
so they know that you are near. If
your child is anxious, let her know
that you will pop in during the
night to check how she is.
v At times when children are sick,
lonely, sad or frightened they may
need help to go back to sleep.
v Changes in your child's life, such as
moving house, separations, family
tensions or starting preschool, can
be a factor.
Night waking
Night waking is common. Some
children can resettle themselves. At
Living with toddlers
sleep
Settling older toddlers
Sometimes parents find it hard to get
young children to go to bed, or their
waking early causes problems. Some of
the reasons a child may not want to go
to bed can be:
• having to go off on his own and
leaving people or interesting things
that are happening in the house
behind
• being frightened of being left alone
(no matter what time you put your
child to bed if he is afraid or worried
he will still be unhappy)
• not being tired yet or going to bed
too early
• a very busy or exciting day, or too
much excitement just before bed
(quiet wind-down time helps)
• being affected by daylight saving
(just like some adults)
• lack of a night-time routine to help
him wind down.
Try leaving a soft light on, giving a
cuddly toy, giving him something of
yours to cuddle, eg. an old T-shirt that
has ‘your smell’ on it. Many still like their
dummy at bedtime.
Some children need you to stay near
while they go to sleep. If you decide to
do this, don’t sneak out without telling
your child. This may keep him tense
and on edge in case you do it again.
You can whisper that you are going
to another room and will be back
soon. Make sure you do return soon.
If your child copes with this you can
start taking a bit longer before coming
back, but make sure you always return
before he gets upset as this builds
trust. Even if he has fallen asleep give
him a goodnight kiss and whisper ‘I
came back’.
Children usually grow out of night
waking by the time they are three
or four (when they feel more secure
being by themselves).
v
v
v
v
Going to bed problems
Look after yourself
Broken sleep makes everyone exhausted and irritable. Make sure
you ask for help from family and friends and try and get some rest
during the day. Some people may suggest that you let your baby/
toddler ‘cry it out’ or that you use controlled crying/comforting.
Your baby/toddler needs you to respond when he cries, to help
him feel safe.
Sleepwalking
Sleepwalking mostly happens
when children are between three
and seven years old. As they grow
older they sleepwalk less, (but
a few adults still do it). Children
have no control over what they do
when they are sleepwalking and
may hurt themselves.
Sleepwalking can involve sitting
upright in bed, crawling and
moving around the cot or bed.
Sleepwalking tends to run in
the families. It doesn’t mean
that your child has emotional or
psychological problems (unless
there is some other stress in
your child’s life). Some children
sleepwalk more if they are unwell
and have a fever, or get overtired.
Some medicines also seem to have
an effect. Sometimes children
sleepwalk if they have a full
bladder.
There is no special treatment to
stop sleepwalking, the important
thing is to make sure your child is
safe. Lock doors and windows, put
barriers across stairs, and place
heaters, electric cords and any
other dangerous objects out of
the way.
Karitane and Tresillian offer support to families who continue to
struggle with getting babies or toddlers to sleep.
v
v
v
v
v
There are a wide range of ‘normal’ sleep patterns between 3 and
5 years. Many children of this age need about 10 to 12 hours of
sleep a night. Young children may need a daytime nap as well, but
by kindergarten age only a few children still need a sleep during
the day. Bedtime can vary a lot. Some may go to bed by 6.30pm,
while many go to bed later, up to 9.30pm. Wake up time may be
early or late. Often children who wake up late also go to bed late.
Children under 3-4 years may still feel insecure when they are
separated from their parents, especially at night.
Living with toddlers
15
toilet training
Toilet training time!
Learning to use the toilet is a big new step for toddlers and it can take
them a while to get the hang of what to do. Some children seem to train
themselves when they are ready, but many will need some help from
their parents.
When will my child be ready?
Most children are not ready to learn to
control their bowels and bladder until
they are two years old and some not
until they are three. Often boys are ready
later than girls.
To be ready to use the toilet or potty,
your child first needs to be able to tell
when his bowels or bladder are full
and needs to be able to hold on to his
wee (urine) for an hour or so, e.g. to be
waking up dry from his daytime nap.
Signs your child is ready are:
• they tell you they are doing a poo
or wee
• pulling at wet and dirty nappies
• telling you that his nappy is wet
• telling you that he doesn’t want to
wear nappies anymore.
Be prepared to wait until your child is
ready. Most toilet training problems can
be avoided if you don’t start too early.
Don’t try and set a date by which you
want your child to be toilet trained, e.g.
before the new baby arrives.
Getting ready for toilet
training
l Teach your child the words such as
wet, dry, wee, poo, it’s coming.
l Choose either a potty, or a special
toilet seat with a footstool or a step.
A step is necessary if you choose to
use a toilet, so your child can get up
to the toilet and feel safe and relaxed
there. A potty can be moved around
the house but you may need to take
it out with you if your child is not
used to using a toilet.
l Some toddlers are afraid of being
flushed down the toilet because
they don’t yet understand that they
16
l
l
l
l
l
cannot fit down such a small hole.
For these children a potty is better or
let them learn to flush the toilet with
you or by themselves. You may need
to flush it when they are safely out of
the way.
Make sure that the toilet area is
safe. Keep household cleaners,
deodorants and toiletries out of
reach.
If you feel comfortable about
it, let your child go with you
to the toilet and talk about
what you are doing.
Make sure your child is
wearing clothing that is
easy to get on and off, and
easy to wash, such as trainer
pants.
In warm weather toilet training is
often easier because there are less
clothes to remove quickly when ‘wee
is coming’. You might like to let
your child go without pants or
nappies for some of the time.
Be aware of your child’s
signals so you can be ready
to guide her to the potty or
toilet in time.
qqqq
Later watch for signs that she is about
to wee or poo and tell her as you guide
her to the potty or toilet. You might say
something like ‘Let’s see if there’s a wee
coming’. Eventually she will be able to
know and get there herself.
If your child tells you before she does a
wee or poo, thank her for telling you and
take her to the toilet or potty.
If she doesn’t get there in
time at first, give her
praise for whatever
she has managed,
e.g. pulling down
her pants, trying
to get to the
toilet, or sitting
on the toilet.
Starting toilet
training
Some toddlers can be
introduced to toilet
training by getting
comfortable with the potty
first, e.g. leaving the potty in easy
sight or letting teddy sit on the potty
‘to do a wee’.
You might start by noticing when your
child is doing a poo in her nappy and
tell her, ‘I think you’re doing a poo’.
Living with toddlers
q
toilet training
Make sure she sees the praise is for
learning a new skill, not something she
has to do to please you.
Children should not be made to sit on a
potty or toilet for long periods of time.
This feels like punishment to the child
and does not help toilet training.
Remember:
l teach girls to wipe themselves from
the front towards the back to avoid
the chance of getting any poo into
the vagina
l teach boys to shake their penis after
a wee to get rid of any drops. For
little boys who are not circumcised,
they need to be especially careful as
the foreskin can trap some wee
l most toddlers don’t have the skills to
wipe their bottom properly, so you
will need to do this for them
l teach boys and girls to wash their
hands after using the toilet or potty
l your toddler is not able to ‘hold on’
to a wee that is ready to come out
l it is common for toddlers to relax
and ‘let go’ as soon as they stand to
walk away from the potty
l control over poo may happen long
before control over wee - sometimes
it happens many months later.
Toilet training troubles
happen for lots of reasons
l Starting too soon.
l Pressure from relatives or friends.
l Parents setting a date to have their
child trained or feeling they must
get their child trained.
l Battles over toilet training.
l Punishing a child for not getting it
right doesn’t work. Better to leave
it for a couple of weeks and start
again.
l Any stress in your child’s life, such as
a new baby or starting childcare can
set her back.
q
q
q
q
Reminders –
top tips for fuss-free toilet training!
• Start toilet training when your child shows he is ready - don’t try to
set a date by which you want your child trained - it puts pressure on
both of you.
• Give praise for small steps - don’t wait for the success of being
completely toilet trained.
• Go at your child’s pace, don’t expect too much.
• If there are any setbacks give up for a few weeks and then start again.
• Don’t get into battles over toilet training. It needs to be your child’s
achievement that he can be proud of.
• Punishment has no place in toilet training.
Physical problems
You should see your doctor if there
are signs of urinary infections:
l weeing very often
l pain when doing wee
l blood in the wee
l wetting frequently during the day
after the age of two
l the smell of your child’s wee
changes
Toilet training takes time – accidents happen,
so try not to get cross!
Bed wetting is normal for toddlers. If your toddler is wetting
the bed, comfort them rather than punish or shame them.
Put a plastic or waterproof sheet over the mattress and
try using toddler pullups.
Living with toddlers
l a child of four years or over is still
wetting during the day.
Constipation (over 6 months)
Constipation (when it is difficult for
your child to poo) can happen when:
l your child has pain and tummy
ache, says it hurts to poo, or holds
on because it hurts
l their food doesn’t have enough
fibre in it
l they don’t drink enough water
l some medicines are being used
l they are not active enough.
Talk with your doctor, child health
nurse, dietician, and never use laxatives
or other treatments.
17
games
Games for your toddler
Hanging out with your toddler can be fun – here are some easy, in-expensive ways
to play with your toddler. Playing is an important part of learning.
Tell them a story
Make up a story, borrow books from
the library or buy them from second
hand shops and share stories – it’s
how your toddler learns about
the world.
Sing to your toddler,
make music with homemade instruments
and dance!
Fill a plastic container with rice
or stones and make sure the lid
is on securely.
Your
toddler
will love
making
noise
with it!
Sand play
Toddlers love filling up pla
stic
containers with sand or
earth
and mixing them with wa
ter.
Never leave your toddler
alone
with water.
Go for a walk
Cardboard boxes are
great toys
them and
Tape them together, paint
them and
e
rat
co
de
they can be cars,
houses, and
tunnels.
Paint!
Your toddler will love to
paint with
their fingers, brushes, spo
nges and
old toothbrushes onto jus
t about
anything – paper, cloth,
newspaper,
old boxes, paper bags, pla
tes and
egg cartons.
18
they will
As your toddler gets older,
walk
a
for
go
love exploring –
parks
al
loc
it
vis
around your street,
m
the
l
tel
d
an
and playgrounds
.
ces
pla
d
an
le
stories about peop
Teach them new skills
Everyday things like getting
dressed, learning how to do up
their buttons
and shoe
laces can be
made into a
fun game. Get
them to help
make simple
things to eat
like Vegemite
sandwiches.
Play dress-ups
Older toddlers will love dressing
up in your old
clothes and
shoes and
playing
‘pretend’
games.
Make a collage with them
Help them collect sticks, leaves,
paper, straws, wool, shells, old bits
of wrapping paper and stick them
onto a piece of cardboard.
Living with toddlers
talking
Learning to
Talk
yyy
Learning to talk is one of the most difficult and important steps
that your toddler will take.
Talking helps them to make sense of the world, to ask for what
they need and to be able to get on with other people. If you
think about how difficult it is for adults to learn a different
language you can get some idea of what it is like for an infant
to learn to talk from having no language at all. Different
children learn to talk at different rates.
Steps in learning to talk
The early months
Long before they can speak, babies are
listening to their parents and carers.
They begin to make little noises and
sounds which come before speech. If
parents and carers imitate these, it is as
if they are talking to the baby. This is the
beginning of your baby learning to talk.
By responding to your baby’s needs when
she cries, you show that you have heard
her and that she matters. This is the
beginning of communication.
8-12 months
y The early little noises turn into
babbling e.g. ‘Da-da-dada’ and ‘Mama-ma-ma’.
y Babies are beginning to learn what
some simple words mean even
though they cannot say them, e.g.
‘Mummy, Bottle, No’.
y There may be one or two single
words.
y Babies wave ‘bye-bye’ when asked.
y They obey simple requests such as
‘Give me the ball’.
12-18 months
y There is much babbling in the
children’s own jargon.
y The first single words appear eg ‘No,
Dad, Dog’.
y Children can point to things they
know when they are asked to.
y Children know their own names and
respond to them.
18 months to 2 years
y 18 month-olds can know and use six
or more words. Two year-olds may
Living with toddlers
have 100 or more words. Many
of the words may be unclear but
the parent or carer can tell what
is meant.
y Two-year olds can say their
name.
y They can ask for simple things
that they need e.g. ‘Drink’.
y Children start to join words together
e.g. ‘Daddy home’ , ’All gone’.
y They copy the last part of sentences.
y They try out different speech sounds
and make mistakes.
What parents can do
You can play a fun and active role in
helping your child learn to talk right
from the start by talking to your baby
and imitating her sounds, telling her
what you are doing and reading stories.
As your toddler starts talking, listen to
your child, don’t correct their speech
and let them finish what they are saying.
Read stories, talk about the pictures in
books together, sing songs and take
them to the library. It helps to get down
to eye level when you are teaching your
child a new word and if they have older
brothers and sisters, make sure they get
a chance to talk.
Although all children learn to talk
at different rates, you should be
concerned if your child:
• doesn’t react to loud noises by
the time she is one month old.
• doesn’t turn her head to a
noise or voice by three months
of age. Hearing problems
often cause speech difficulties.
• doesn’t start to make single
sounds, e.g. ‘ba ba’ by eight or
nine months.
• is not starting to say single
words by 12 months.
• doesn’t understand simple
instructions by two years.
If you have any concerns about
your child’s speech or hearing, talk
to your local child health nurse or
your doctor. Your child may need
to see a speech pathologist.
y
yyy
19
child care
Choosing
the right
childcare
for your child
At some stage, your toddler
may need to attend childcare.
Concerned about the
standards or safety at
your childcare centre?
Contact DoCS
Children’s Services on
02 9716 2153 or
1800 619 113.
You can also email your
enquiries to cslicensing@
community.nsw.gov.au.
a
20
Childcare services can not only help you
meet your work commitments, but can
also provide children with programs
and activities that promote healthy
development, teach them to play and
socialise with other children and prepare
them for the transition to school.
How do I choose a centre?
To choose the right centre for your child,
take some time to think about their
needs and interests and your family’s
needs. It may be important to choose a
centre close to where you live or work or
one that’s close to public transport.
Make sure you visit the centre or service
first and check that its policies and
values are right for you. The following
are some questions to ask the operators:
What are their policies?
All services should have written
information available which covers what
their educational objectives are and how
they will be achieved, how parents can
have day-to-day input into the programs
and how each child’s individual interests
will be catered for. They should also
cover children’s behaviour, health and
safety, excursions, authority for access
or picking up your child, how staff will
treat your child and how the program is
relevant to children of different cultures
and abilities.
What kinds of experiences do
they provide?
A balance of indoor and outdoor
activities, lots of variety and enough
toys and equipment to make each day
interesting.
In centre-based care, a written program
should be displayed and you should be
able to view records about your child.
All services, including home-based and
family day care must talk to parents
regularly about what activities their child
has been involved in and they should
encourage all children to develop at
their own pace.
Living with toddlers
child care
What about accidents, illnesses
and infectious diseases?
How should arriving and
leaving be managed?
If your child has an accident or becomes
ill when they are in childcare, they must
be cared for until a parent arrives or
medical treatment is obtained. Services
must always keep a record of accidents
and a staff member must have First Aid
qualifications.
Ask your service how it handles
infectious diseases like chicken pox and
make sure it has good hygiene practices
to minimise the spread of infections.
All children should be greeted by a
staff member when they arrive and
be encouraged to get involved in an
activity – this helps them settle for the
day. It’s also good to encourage children
to say goodbye. If your child is finding it
hard to settle in, talk to the staff about
what you can do. Sometimes it’s good
to spend time with your child at the
centre, either in the morning or the
afternoon.
The parent dropping off the child in
the morning and
picking them
up must sign an
attendance book.
Any person who
picks up the child
other than a parent
must be authorised
in writing by the
parent.
What records are kept?
Records on your child must include:
• initial enrolment form
• up-to-date contact numbers
• changes to your child’s health
• reports on your child’s development
• information about children with
special needs or allergies.
Types of children’s services
Long day care
Long day care is usually open for 10 or more hours per day,
five days per week and takes children from 6 weeks to under
6 years. Children can attend part-time or full-time childcare.
Family day care
Family day care schemes coordinate care provided by family
day carers in their own homes and carers operate alone
with the support of the scheme. Hours of care vary and are
negotiated with the scheme’s coordinator, or between the
carer and the parent. Carers can take up to 5 children
from babies up to under 6 years of age and
two school-aged children
who need before and after
school or vacation care.
Can I visit my child?
Any parent (unless denied access
through a court order) is entitled to visit
their child at any time.
What are the rules on sleeping?
All services should provide somewhere
for your child to have a nap, including
fresh bedding so they can sleep if they
need to – children should not be made
to sleep against their will.
In family day care or home-based care, a
child under two may sleep in the same
room as an adult.
a
Home-based care
Care is provided at the home of the carer who operates
independently. Hours of care vary and may be negotiated
between the carer and the parent. Carers can nominate
the ages of children they care for, but may take children
and babies up to 12 years of age who need before and
after school or vacation care.
Preschool
Preschools generally take children aged 3 to under 6 years,
although some may be licensed to take children from 2
years of age.
Occasional care
Occasional care allows parents to leave their child for
short periods of time, either on a casual basis or as a
temporary booking.
Mobile children’s service
A mobile service generally operates from a van
or other vehicle which travels through a particular
geographic area and sets up a childcare service in a local
hall or other premises. These services may offer occasional
care, preschool care or long day care. Service is offered
once a week, or more often, depending on regional needs
and hours vary.
aaa
Living with toddlers
21
D
new baby
A new baby
in the family!
A new baby arriving in the
family brings big changes for
everyone, particularly for any
other children. The birth of a
new baby is one of the most
stressful times in a young child’s
life, especially if your other child
is two or under. Your toddler still
may not feel very secure and as
you will have less time for him
or her, they may feel less loved.
22
Here are some ways to prepare your
toddler for a new baby:
D don’t tell a very young child too
soon about the new baby. It is
exciting for you, but your child
will not understand. Toddlers
don’t have an understanding
of time and how long an hour,
a week or a month really is. In a
toddler’s life, six months or so is a
very long time to be waiting for
something to happen
D tell your child later in the
pregnancy when she can see what
is happening. You can then involve
her in visits to the doctor and
helping to plan for the baby, like
choosing clothes
D some toddlers, both boys and
girls, enjoy having a doll as their
‘baby’ and making the same sort of
preparations as you do for the real
baby
D don’t change your toddler from a
cot to a bed too close to the birth.
– she may think you are taking her
cot for the baby
D don’t try to toilet train your toddler
around the time of the birth
unless the toddler makes it very
clear that she wants to use the
toilet or potty
D plan ahead for the mother’s stay in
hospital as well. Your toddler will
manage best if she can stay in her
own home with the people she
knows well.
When mum is in hospital – try
and have as much contact with
your toddler as possible. Even if your
toddler cries when they have to leave
it’s better for them to know where
you are. When your toddler visits you,
try and give them your attention,
ask them how they are, what they
have been doing today, rather than
nursing or breastfeeding the new
baby.
DDD
You could also let your toddler have
a photo of you to keep or maybe
something special that you always wear
like your favourite cardigan.
Sometimes a present from the baby
to big brother or sister helps and your
toddler might also like to choose a gift
for the baby.
When baby comes home
D Your toddler’s behaviour will
probably change – no matter how
prepared they are.
D Your toddler may go back to
younger behaviour for a while, like
wanting a bottle, wanting you to
dress him, or going backwards in his
toilet training. (Letting your toddler
act younger for a while, without
getting cross, will help him to feel
better more quickly.)
D Toddlers may get stressed or throw
tantrums, especially when you
are breastfeeding the new baby.
Toddlers need to know that you
understand these feelings. You could
say: ‘I know you feel cross when I am
feeding the baby and you want to play.
I would like to play with you too. I love
playing with you. Can you find a book
and we will read it together?’
D Arrange special activities that you
keep for when you feed the baby,
e.g. a doll that he can feed, a special
video to watch, or tell him a story
about what you did with him when
he was a baby or read to him.
D Read stories about new babies which
show the older child feeling both
happy and sad about the new baby.
D Show your toddler how to touch the
baby gently, but always be there to
make sure the baby is safe.
D Let your child know that hurting the
baby is not allowed.
D Make a special time for your toddler
and if you can, get someone else to
mind the baby and do something
that your toddler enjoys.
Living with toddlers
support
Looking after yourself!
It’s very normal as a parent to feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated and even angry
at times. You are doing the most important job in the world by bringing up your child – and at
times it can feel like you are on call 24 hours a day!
When you can, take some time out for yourself. Ask family members and friends to help
you with babysitting – even if it’s only for short periods of time, so that you can have some
breathing space – even half an hour can help. Get your partner, family or friends to help with the
housework if you can. When you are stressed, ring a friend – even if it’s only for a few minutes.
In stressful situations, like when your toddler is throwing a tantrum, count to ten before you
react, take a few deep breaths and if you are in danger of harming your child – make sure
they are safe – and walk away until you calm down.
Where to get support
For Parents
The NSW Department of
Community Services (DoCS)
DoCS provides services from a
network of 80 Community Services
Centres across NSW.
You’ll find their phone numbers in
your local telephone directory under
‘Community Services, Department of’.
For more information about
parenting visit our website
www.community.nsw.gov.au
To report a child at risk of
harm, ring the DoCS 24-hour
Helpline 132 111
Parent Line
132 055
Advice and information for statewide
(voice and TTY) parents with kids up
to 18 years
Tresillian
02 9787 0855
1800 637 357 (freecall outside Sydney)
24-hour information and counselling
for parents or carers of children
under 5 years.
Karitane
02 9794 2350
1300 CARING (freecall outside Sydney)
24-hour telephone parenting
information and counselling
Living with toddlers
Aboriginal Medical Service
Co-op Limited
02 9319 5823
Playgroup NSW
1800 171 882
Relationships Australia (NSW)
02 9418 8800
1300 364 277
(freecall outside Sydney)
Centacare Relationship
Counselling
02 9390 5366
Lifeline
13 11 14 (statewide)
Salvo Care Line
02 9331 6000 (statewide)
Dial-a-Mum
02 9477 6777 (statewide)
Telephone counselling for
anyone of any age
Domestic Violence Line
1800 656 463
1800 671 442 (TTY)
Kids Careline
02 4921 2800 (Newcastle area)
Kidsnet
02 9845 0000
Poisons Information
13 11 26
Children’s Hospital
Randwick
02 9382 1111
Children’s Hospital
Westmead
02 9845 0000
Early Childhood Centres
(NSW Health)
To find your local Early Childhood
Centre, look under ‘E’ in the Telstra
White Pages. Find out about
parenting courses by contacting
your local Early Childhood Health
Centre or Children’s Hospital
For KIDS
Kids Help Line
1800 55 1800
www.kidshelpline.com.au
safety & medical
Kidsafe
02 9845 0890
www.kidsafensw.org.au
In an emergency,
ring 000 for ambulance,
police and fire
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toddlers
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Living with toddlers