End Of Life
Planning Guide
This guide can help you and your loved ones make
important decisions about end-of-life care and wishes.
Preparing for the final stages of life is difficult for anyone.
However, planning can reduce stress and fear. It can
bring peace of mind to you and your loved ones.
For more patient education information, call 1-888-424-2100 toll free or go to www.huntsmancancer.org
Produced by Huntsman Cancer Institute • Approved by PESC March 2010 • Review Date March 2012
How to Talk with Your Loved Ones
When it comes to discussing end-of-life issues, remember, it’s up to you to take the initiative and
express your wishes. Your family or loved ones are not likely to raise the issue for you. Talking about
end-of-life issues can be difficult for anyone. One way to approach the subject is to discuss why you
have decided to talk about these issues. Here are a few examples:
• What is motivating you to take these actions now?
• Did a particular event cause you to make the decision?
• Did a news item or something that happened to a family member make you think about it?
Sometimes sharing your personal concerns and values, spiritual beliefs, or views about what makes
life worth living can be as helpful as talking about specific treatments and circumstances. For
example, you may want to discuss these questions:
• What aspects of your life give it the most meaning?
• How do your religious or spiritual beliefs affect your attitudes toward dying and death?
• What is your attitude toward death?
Sharing your end-of-life care decisions with your loved ones will help them to honor your wishes.
Decisions may include answers to the following questions:
• How important is it to you to be physically independent and stay in your own home?
• Would you want your medical decision maker to take into account the effect your illness has on
any other people?
• Would you prefer to die at home if possible?
Reassess your decisions over time. These are not simple questions and your views may change. It is
important that you review these issues and discuss your choices as your circumstances change.
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Talking about Your Final Wishes
Death is a natural part of life, but for most of us, talking about it isn’t. Most people are
uncomfortable with talking, or even thinking, about what will happen when they or a loved one
dies. Avoiding the topic doesn’t stop death from happening. Not talking about it doesn’t ease
the pain associated with loss. Many people avoid talking about end of life because of their fears:
suffering, pain, separation from loved ones, and the unknown. These fears keep them from dealing
with life’s final lessons and make it harder to plan their lives as they wish. Not talking can make it
harder for those left behind.
Why is talking about death so important? Most of us hope we will die quickly, but the fact is that
many die after a long, slow decline. That’s why talking and planning for your death is so important
to your well-being and your loved ones’ peace of mind.
• Facing your fears is the first step toward planning for the future. Talking about and planning for
your death is the best way to make sure your wishes will be fulfilled. It can help you live your life
to the fullest—the way you want—until the end.
• Making decisions about how you want to spend your final days is not simple. There are many
factors and options available today that may influence your care at the end of life. Where do I
want to die? Who will take care of me? What do I have to do to achieve a “good death”? These
questions raise just a few of the issues to be considered in deciding your care at the end of life.
• You can also decide what kind of medical treatment you want during your final days. While
some issues related to end-of-life care haven’t changed for generations, new issues make
decisions even more challenging. For example, health care has rapidly changed and new medical
technologies and treatments that extend your life well beyond its natural course are available.
When you were born, your loved ones spent nine months preparing for your birth. This kind of
planning should also be applied at the end of life. Talking and planning for death are the very acts
that may allow you to live a fuller and more comfortable life in your final days.
Once you have decided what you want, use advance directives to write your wishes down. Advance
directives are formal documents that explicitly describe your wishes for care near the end. There are
two kinds of advance directives:
• A Living Will. This document specifies your wishes regarding medical treatment—generally the
refusal of life-prolonging treatment when death is imminent.
• A Health Care Power of Attorney. This document allows you to appoint someone you trust to act
for you and to make decisions about your medical treatment if you are unable to do so.
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How to Begin End-of-Life Planning: A Guide
The first conversation you must have is with yourself, to find out what your feelings are regarding
your own death. This form gives you some questions to consider and space to write down your
thoughts, for your own use. Someone from Huntsman Cancer Institute’s Patient and Family
Support staff can also assist you by talking with you, if you wish.
1. Where do you want to die? At home on hospice _____ In a hospital _____
In a skilled nursing facility (nursing home) _____
2. Do you want to move to be closer to relatives, friends, or other loved ones?
Yes _____ No _____ If yes, where? ______________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
3. What kind of medical treatment do you want?
Hospice care (comfort measures only) _____
Hospital care _____
4. What don’t you want? _________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
5. Who do you want and/or hope will take care of you?
Parent(s)____________________________________________________________________
Spouse/significant other________________________________________________________
Adult children_ ______________________________________________________________
Sibling(s)___________________________________________________________________
Friends_____________________________________________________________________
6. How do you define a “good death”? _______________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
7. What would you like your family to be doing when you are in the process of dying?
Playing my favorite music _____
Reading my favorite passages _____
Telling stories about my life _____
Additional wishes: ____________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
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8. What kind of funeral service/life celebration/wake do you want?
Religious services Yes _____ No _____ Church_ ___________________________________
Outside location _____________________________________________________________
Another location_ ____________________________________________________________
Graveside service_ ____________________________________________________________
9. Who do you want to oversee the service?___________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
10. Who do you want to speak?_____________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
11. What music do you want?_ _____________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
12. Do you want someone you know to sing or perform music?_____________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
13. Do you have a favorite poem or writing that you would like read? If so, what?_ _____________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
14. Who do you want to read?______________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
15. Do you want to have an opportunity for people to share their stories about you? (open mic)
_ _________________________________________________________________________
_ _________________________________________________________________________
16. Where do you want your remains?________________________________________________
Buried (location)_____________________________________________________________
Cremated and spread (location) _________________________________________________
Cremated and buried (location)_ ________________________________________________
Cremated and kept in an urn (type of urn)_________________________________________
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Now tell your loved ones and doctor what you want. By beginning the conversation with them, you
are giving them comfort and peace of mind to follow your wishes.
• Talk with your health-care team or Patient and Family Support about palliative care and hospice
programs. These services are provided by specialists in end-of-life issues.
• Consider creating an advance directive. This is a legal document that describes your wishes
regarding the use of life-prolonging treatment and appoints someone to make decisions about
your medical care if you are unable to do so.
• Huntsman Cancer Institute (HCI) offers a free service called YourStory, which allows HCI
patients to record their life stories on CD. Call the Linda B. and Robert B. Wiggins Wellness
Center at 801-587-4585 for more information.
• The Cancer Learning Center located on the first floor of HCI has several books and videos in
their collection on caregiving, hospice, advance directives, and end-of-life issues. These materials
are available for checkout. For more information, please call 801-581-6365.
Huntsman Cancer Institute
Patient and Family Support
801-585-9755
www.huntsmancancer.org/pfs
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