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Rev. Don Beaudreault
[email protected]
Mailing Address: 3614 Naranja Way, Sarasota, FL 34232
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introductory Letter…..3
Personal History…..5
Professional Preparation…..7
Academic…..7
Specialized Training…..8
Experience as a Minister…..9
General Statement…..9
Work History…..10
Theological Statement…..13
Concept of Ministry…..15
Importance of Religious Education for Our Youth…..16
Denominational and District Involvement…..17
Community Outreach…..18
Publications…..19
Experience as a Teacher…..20
Selection of Sermons…..21
Skinner Sermon Award Certificate…..21
“Fifty Years of Being a Unitarian Universalist”….21
“Living with Good Intentions” (Part II)…..28
“Why I Am a Unitarian Universalist Humanist”…..34
“The Self: Who Are You, Really? (Brain Science 101)”…..39
“Whither Is Fled the Visionary Gleam? (Economic Justice)”…..46
Selection of Newsletter Articles…..52
“Tapestry”…..52
“A Liberal Cleric/Jazz Pianist Muses”…..52
“New Member Recognition Ceremony”…..53
“Angels Among Us”…..54
“Immortality?”…..55
“My Vision for the 21st Century Congregation”…..55
Memorial Service…..56
Wedding Meditation…..62
Child Dedication Meditation…..63
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INTRODUCTORY LETTER
Spring, 2014
Dear UU Friends,
I am delighted that you have asked to view my packet of information!
As a way of introducing myself, I would like to give you a quick overview of my
professional preparation and experience.
I retired a year-and-a-half ago after 33 years in active UU ministry. Most of that was as a
settled minister.
In addition, I worked as an interim or consulting minister to three congregations.
Every church I served grew in membership numbers and budget.
I was the Partnership minister to seven congregations in England (Liverpool-Manchester
area).
I was the Visiting Minister to churches in Australia, New Zealand, and The Netherlands.
I completed 6 units of CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education), most of that at the UCLA
Medical Center, where I did extensive work with the dying, and served in the emergency
room.
I also served as a chaplain in a state mental hospital and in a retirement center.
I sat on a number of district and denominational committees, notably on the UU Service
Committee (National) Board for five years. I was on a fact-finding mission for them to
the Philippines, and returned there as a representative of the UUA.
I was the President of the U.S. Chapter of the International Association for Religious
Freedom, the oldest established inter-faith group in the world.
I was a member of the UUA’s Black Concerns Working Group, and led workshops on
racial issues around the country.
I had many articles and poems published in newspapers, magazines, and books. The
current UU WORLD has my letter to the editor.
I recently won a preaching award in the FL district.
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I have A.B. and M.A. degrees in English and taught for 8 years, mostly in The
Philippines as a Peace Corps Volunteer, Iran, and American Samoa.
I hold two certifications in teaching: English (Grades 7-12) and Teaching English as a
Second Language.
I won two writing awards, one for poetry, and one for an outstanding op-ed piece.
I had numerous articles and Letters to the Editor published.
I am a professional jazz pianist and raised thousands of dollars for charitable causes
through my concerts, many of those at UU congregations. I created CDs that have been
sold, with the proceeds going to those various causes.
I am a stage actor and singer, and had the lead in a few plays.
I appeared on television and radio to talk about Unitarian Universalism, and such social
concerns as suicide prevention, aging, pro-choice, the death penalty, peace, and racial
justice.
So, having had such an active and productive life, I discovered that after only a year-anda-half of official “retirement,” I missed the ministry too much to stay away from it. I
particularly relish serving again in an interim position.
Please note that my email address and cell phone number are listed above.
Thank you for your consideration.
Cordially,
Rev. Don Beaudreault
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PERSONAL HISTORY
William Donald Beaudreault
I was born on February 27, 1945 in Washington, D.C. and was raised and
educated there, with frequent visits to my maternal home in the hills of Appalachia, near
Cumberland, MD. My brother and I are the first ones in our family’s history to attain a
college education. My father worked as a salesman; my mother as a waitress.
Unfortunately, my childhood was not always a happy one, due to an alcoholic
mother, distant father, and alienated brother – and to the fact that I knew I was gay at the
age of five (but did not know how to name it). I recently wrote a 350-page book talking
about this and other things.
So I turned to three major things as a source of comfort and meaning: the church,
music, and books. These continue to sustain me today.
THE CHURCH: Nurtured in the Disciples of Christ Church, I learned the
importance of a beloved church community and knew at the age of seven that I wanted to
be a minister. I preached my first sermon when I was twelve. My maternal ancestry
included Scotch-Irish founders of Evangelical United Brethren Churches (now part of the
United Methodist Church). Two of these relatives were Methodist Bishops. And on my
paternal side of French Canadian/New England Catholics, there were many priests and
nuns. My maternal grandmother, an avid churchgoer, was a major force in my
determination to pursue the ministry.
MUSIC: The first musical instrument I played was that Appalachian
“grandmaw’s” player piano. I began taking accordion lessons when I was seven, and
taught myself how to play the piano when I was twelve, after our house burned down,
destroying my accordion. Fortunately, the piano survived. When I was 17, I was playing
professional piano in a seedy bar, across the street from St. Elizabeth’s Mental Hospital.
Often, there were out-patients from that facility who would come to the bar and ask me to
play a song. There were also many prostitutes. At the same time, I was playing the piano
and organ at the Disciples of Christ Church. I learned about “diversity” early on.
READING: Despite the fact that nobody thought to check my vision until I was
twelve years old (even if I was always dizzy and complaining I couldn’t see well), I loved
reading! In effect, it was a way I could escape a reality I wanted little part of. I loved
adventure stories the most (and still do). I trace my early desire to travel to those early
books. I also was ever curious about various religions and psychology. Perhaps this was
because as a gay boy I wanted to know why I should feel guilty for being the way I was.
So by the time I was twelve I was reading Freud and St. Paul! Writing was only a natural
outcome of all this reading. I wrote lots of poems back then and write poems now, too.
Because I loved learning, school was mostly a joy for me. I was more or less an
“A” student throughout all formal education, the “more” part having to do with the
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humanities; the “less” part having to do with math, science, and language. Once I got to
my major in college, I excelled, and was the top English major at graduation.
I went on to get my Masters in English, and then was faced with the Viet Nam
War. I chose to join the Peace Corps instead, and served in The Philippines. Two lifechanging events happened to me during that time: I decided not to pursue a Ph.D. in
English Literature but to see what else I might do; and I fell in love with that country and
wanted to see many more – which I did (some 60 at this point).
I eventually attended seminary and eventually married a Filipina, a marriage that
was to last for 18 years.
Service as a UU minister began – and so did fatherhood – literally! It was after the
first sermon I preached as a settled minister (in New Orleans), that my wife conceived! A
year-and-a-half later, our second daughter came into existence. Raising children in New
Orleans who had the last name of “Beaudreault” (“Boudreaux” in Cajun lingo), seemed
right somehow!
More years and church placements went by. Throughout them all, the “role” as
the minister and the “role” of simply being myself blended, so that I eventually grew to
really love the sense that I was, indeed, doing something meaningful with my life.
I also learned that I could, indeed, continue utilizing my music and desire to learn
within the profession I had chosen. I furthered my professional education by studying
counseling, notably through the Clinical Pastoral Education process where I served as a
chaplain intern for a total of a year-and-a-half. I also studied writing at the UCLA
Writer’s Program, where I took 11 courses. At least those courses taught me how to write
a better sermon – I hope!
But what was lingering inside me; what often made me physically ill, was the fact
that I knew I was a gay man and was lying about it to everyone. Facing the truth finally at
50, I came out. My wife and I divorced, but I never stopped being a nurturing father.
Eventually, I met the love of my life, Juan Rivera, when I served as the Interim
Minister at the Palatine UU Church, near Chicago. We have been partners for seven
years. Our cross-cultural life here in Mexico is ever a challenge, and ever-rewarding. We
have turned into dog and cat rescuers, and have 4 dogs and 4 cats as part of our family –
at present. Juan is a language teacher and artist. We live in the Lake Chapala area of
Mexico near Guadalajara. Although he will not be coming with me to live in the States,
we are, indeed, committed life partners. He will maintain our home here in Mexico. And
I will make trips back on occasion. But I will live near whatever congregation I serve.
My daughters continue to amaze me. The younger one is a social justice lawyer
who lives in the Los Angeles area (West Covina). She was a top student at Bryn Mawr
College. She is married - to another lawyer. They are expecting a child, my first
grandchild, in November. My older daughter lives in Brooklyn and is an actor, highly-
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acclaimed rap artist, and fashion magazine writer. She and her alternative rock star
boyfriend are ever-active in the trendy NYC lifestyle. Her guy’s book is doing well.
I am now a sixty-nine-year old guy who works out every day, i.e. lots of running
and weight lifting. People tell me I look younger. I am healthy, despite the fact that a
couple years ago I needed a pacemaker due to a slow heartbeat. But that has not stopped
me from being active. In fact, I have more energy than I had before that little procedure.
PROFESSIONAL PREPARATION
Academic
A.B. Lafayette College, Easton, PA - English Honors, 1967
Wrote my Senior Honors Thesis on the work of e. e. cummings, a
Unitarian.
Won the MacKnight Black Poetry Prize; the Gilbert Prize for English, the
March Fellowship, and the Coleman Religion Prize.
President and Accompanist of the 90-Voice Glee Club.
Features Editor of the college newspaper.
Held various offices in my social fraternity, Phi Kappa Tau.
M.A. University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI - English, 1968
Concentration on the English Romantic poets
C.T. S. Pacific School of Religion, Berkeley, CA, 1973
(Certificate of Theological Studies)
Concentration on Religion and the Arts.
M.Div. Starr King Seminary, Berkeley, CA, 1975
(Masters of Divinity)
Concentration on Psychology and Religion
Post M. Div., Graduate Theological Union, Berkeley, Ca, 1978-79
Concentration on Theology and Church History
C. P. E. (Clinical Pastoral Education - Chaplaincy) – 6 units:
Spring Grove State Mental Hospital, Catonsville, MD, 1975
Worked with psychotic patients and within the Occupational Therapy program – doing
music therapy with the patients.
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UCLA Medical Center (University of CA at Los Angeles), CA 1992-93
Chaplain on the Oncology unit with terminally ill young adults and as on-call chaplain in
the Emergency Room.
Co-led a support group for cancer patients.
Asbury Methodist Village, Gaithersburg, MD, 1994
Chaplain to some 800 residents in this retirement center. Worked in all phases of
graduated care – from those living in apartments to those receiving treatment at the
medical center.
Co-led a support group for loved ones of Alzheimer patients.
Creative Writing Courses, UCLA, Los Angeles; CA State at Los Angeles; UC
Santa Barbara, 1989-91
Concentration in novel and short story writing
TESOL Certificate, School for International Training, Oaxaca, Mexico, 2011
(Teaching English as a Second Language)
Specialized Training
Suicide Prevention Counseling, Berkeley, CA, 1973-75
This was part of my seminary “field education.” In addition to working as a
counselor on a volunteer basis, I was hired as the center’s Publicity Director and
in this capacity, appeared on San Francisco radio and television stations.
Ministerial Internship, Broadmoor United Church of Christ Church, San
Leandro, CA, 1977
Before I became an official UU, I served this church for a year as its Minister of
Christian Education and Youth. The program tripled in size.
Ministerial Internship, Pacific Unitarian Universalist Church, Rancho Palos
Verdes, CA, 1979
Worked with a Gestalt Therapy support group.
Created a Readers Theater Group that led many worship services.
Was ordained by this congregation, one that I would later be called back to serve
as its Settled Minister.
New Congregation Organizer Training, Boston, MA, 1983
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Founded a new UU church in the New Orleans, LA area, one that won the
national award for the fastest growing UU congregation in the United States.
Interim Ministry Training, Boston, MA, 1997
This was in preparation for my two-year interim ministry in Oak Ridge, TN. I
learned much about conflict resolution and systems analysis.
Interim Ministry Training, Boston, MA, 2007
This was in preparation for my 17-month interim ministry in Palatine, IL. I
learned about new models of interim ministry.
Other UUA Training, various times and places:
Extension and Growth of Churches
Social Justice
Finance
U.S. Peace Corps Training, University of Hawaii, Hilo, HA, 1969
English as a Second Language
Cross Cultural Studies – Filipino-American
Tagalog (the major language of the Philippines)
Family Systems Therapy, Oak Ridge, TN, 1997-98
Training with interfaith clergy for one year.
EXPERIENCE AS A MINISTER
General Statement: Summarizing my 33 years in the UU ministry:
Every church I have served has increased in membership and budget.
Served as a parish minister to some 2,000 congregants
Served as a chaplain in a mental hospital, a medical hospital, and a retirement
center
Married 600 couples
Officiated at 400 memorial services
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Dedicated numerous infants
Preached in 100 UU congregations
Preached for our affiliated groups in The Philippines, Europe, Great Britain, New
Zealand and Australia
Wrote and preached 1,000 sermons
Wrote 750 church newsletter columns
Work History
UU Congregation of Venice, FL, Consulting Minister 2009-2012
We added 60 new members in 3 years and increased our financial coffers. This is an
older congregation with few squabbles. They were a delightful group to work with.
We did major restructuring of the committee system, growing from a pastoral church
model to a program church one.
Unitarian Church of Norfolk, VA, Settled Minister 2008-2009
A congregation of 225 members, they had some growth in membership and more
commitment to involvement in committee. Another contribution I made was to reach out
to the many military families (including GLBT ones) in the church who were struggling
with what it means to be a UU and to serve in the military
In its 100-plus year existence the congregation has rarely had ministers stay more than 23 years. I believe the ongoing problem during my tenure was the group’s identifying as a
religious community, preferring to be collection of individuals. Consequently, there was a
culture of anti-clericalism (long before I arrived).
Countryside Church UU, Palatine, IL, Interim Minister 2007-2008
A congregation of 300 adult members and 150 youth.
Major tasks included creating better administrative procedures in regard to the pledge
campaign, committee structuring, personnel practices, membership growth, and adult and
child religious education.
I aided the conflict resolution process, as the congregation sought to grieve the retirement
of a long-term, much beloved minister, and the hasty departure of a very short-term one.
Merseyside District Partnership (Consulting) Minister, England 2006-2007
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I worked with seven churches: Liverpool, Chester, South Port, Warrenton, Ashton in
Makerfield, West Kirby, and the Isle of Man.
I created a more organized structure within a district framework – something that had
never been attempted before. There was growth in membership and more general
coordination of efforts within the partnership
UU Church of Sarasota, FL, Settled Minister 1999-2006
During my ministry, the church grew to 440 members and contributing friends, making it
the largest church in the Florida district.
For the last three years, we finished with a financial surplus. My last year with them
showed the amount was around $50,000.
We grew to a multi-cell, programmatic church with increased Adult Religious Education,
personal support groups, and social activities.
We grew in diversity – in color, age, and sexual orientation.
We increased our staff and salaries.
We celebrated our 50th anniversary as a congregation.
We grew from a handful of members doing outreach in the community, to a large number
doing various tasks.
We were an “honor society” in our giving to the UU Association and FL District.
We were among the largest contributors nationally to the UU Service Committee.
We received much coverage in our local newspapers, including front-page articles for our
work in the community.
Oak Ridge UU Church, Oak Ridge, TN, Interim Minister 1997-1999
A new sanctuary was built and the existing structure was completely renovated.
Did much work in conflict-resolution and in open communication process.
Helped guide a new Religious Education program and its new director. The program
grew very large.
UU Fellowship of the Kanawha Valley, Charleston, WV, Settled Minister 1994-1997
First settled minister in the new church building.
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Did much publicity work on behalf of the church – on radio talk shows, in public forums,
in newspaper articles and via Letters to the Editor. This increased membership and
awareness of the church by the local community.
Tightened the organizational structure of the church, including strengthening its financial
basis and improving its worship format.
I came out as a gay man which increased the awareness of GLBT issues within both the
congregation and the community.
Pacific Unitarian Church, Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 1989-1993
A very troubled church when I got there (based upon major conflicts with its previous
long-term minister), I did much counseling in an attempt to heal the community.
Built up the membership and did a capital campaign that allowed us to build a new
addition.
Given the general profile of the church as a very social activist one, I participated in
numerous community activities, specifically in regard to peace and justice activities.
Brought various well-known speakers and performers to the congregation and thereby
increased the church coffers.
Created a Long Range Planning Committee and established a congregational process to
create a mission statement and achieve goals.
Created the All-Church Retreat that helped to create community building between the
generations.
Helped to reorganize the church staff, policies and procedures.
UU Society of Sacramento, CA 1985-1989
Major restructuring of a system that had 50 committees and over 500 members.
Created a more cohesive staff of nine where each felt valued for her/his abilities and
accomplishments.
Instituted a new procedure for an Every Member Canvass.
Helped to organize a second UU Church in the city.
Created a new fundraiser whereby UUs from around the country came to Sacramento for
the Annual Jazz Festival and stayed in our members’ homes.
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Served as a resource for the Adult Forum – a major weekly event that would draw
hundreds to hear speakers of note.
Started an Annual Lectureship Series with well-known scholars.
Helped to advance the Religious Education program for children by guiding a new
director.
Enthused the music program by spearheading a very successful campaign to obtain a
grand piano. Because of this, the sanctuary to this day is a premier location in the city for
concerts. Much revenue is generated.
Community Church UU, New Orleans, LA 1980-1985 (my first settled position as a
parish minister
Helped to heal the major divisions in the congregation caused by the previous minister.
Restructured the committee system, policies and procedures.
Raised enough money to hire the first paid secretary in the church’s 50-year history.
Generated the Readers Theatre that added richly to the worship services.
Built up the Religious Education program and added a paid RE Director.
Sponsored the establishment of a pre-school that helped generate funds for the
congregation.
Shared in the work of the major fundraiser called “Inside Mardi Gras” that brought UUs
from around the country to participate in this annual “rite of passage.”
Wrote numerous articles and Letters to the Editor, thereby establishing a major concept
of my idea of ministry: to educate through the written (and published) word.
Theological Statement
I call myself a “mystical humanist” because it allows me to interpret my beliefs in
a very broad way.
The mystical part implies the poetic and metaphorical dimension of life – that
which is wondrous, mysterious, and numinous. As a wordsmith, I love to play with words
that attempt to describe this aspect of the human experience – language that might or
might not be strictly theological. In truth, however, language (although a powerful tool)
fails to capture the fullness of what it is attempting to describe. The mystical is deep
feeling, a kind of knowledge beyond knowledge, beyond fact – and beyond dogma, creed
or doctrine. Some thinkers call this kind of knowledge noetic. It is what the poet
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Wordsworth was referring to when he spoke of sensing something “far more deeply
interfused.” The mystical is the very essence of all art, of all meaningful human
relationship.
The humanist part of my theology is the bedrock upon which the mystical is
grounded. Without the human experience, without “reality” as it is understood by the
common, ordinary, normal, everyday perspective of us mortals, we would not have a
basis upon which to conceptualize our poems, our metaphors, our dance, our deep
feelings toward the ineffable, the other person, the larger human community, the
multitudinous aspects of nature. The humanist part includes the rational, the scientific,
the realistic, and the verifiable. As a “humanist” (small “h”) I seek to blend the seemingly
disparate aspects of existence, realizing that there is always more knowledge, and more
feeling on tap. The humanist in me allows me to pursue this open approach to learning. It
does, in fact, demand it. It allows me to formulate and to re-formulate my opinions on the
varied dimensions of human action; pursuing “truths” within the ever shifting, relativistic
nature of our existence; doing the best I can and attempting not to blame myself for the
fallible state of my human status.
Included within this “mystical humanist” perspective are other specific
theological/philosophical disciplines that have drawn me to them. These include:
Taoism: as an approach in blending the opposites in nature; of being diligent
despite adversity.
Buddhism: as an ethical blueprint for life, that speaks of the necessity for us to be
humble before the magnitude of creation.
Quakerism: as a pietistic, inner-directed source of inspiration that nourishes active
participation in righting the wrongs of society.
And there is a word that I have “borrowed” from Catholic theology:
Fideism: which means hopefulness. In this regard, I would call myself a “hopeful
Agnostic” meaning that I have a strong faith in the workings of the universe to create
meaning and purpose, although I do not necessarily “know” that this is so.
Finally, I must include a concept from the psychological tradition (which really
for me speaks volumes when it comes to theology):
Fulfillment Model: this approach states at the outset that humanity has potential
and worth. (This “conflicts” with the Conflict Model.) My varied approach to living life
is predicated upon this philosophical belief of being fulfilled. I choose to advance my
potential in as many ways as I “naturally” can – meaning what I do I am naturally
attracted to doing. In this way I am attempting to live out my potential – to be what I am;
in a sense, to be what I am created to be. It is primary for me to develop my body, mind,
and human spirit – not one at the expense of the others – but each in due time, and
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sometimes all three at the same time. When this latter experience occurs, I really do
believe that I have had a “spiritual” or “peak” experience. I have had such an experience
after reaching a mountain summit and feeling that I am at the top of the universe. I have
felt this, too, when I get “lost” while playing the piano. I have felt this within a huge
crowd of people who are demonstrating in the name of peace and justice. It is at such
times that “it” all comes together – and I truly feel one with the universe and with the
purposes of creation.
Concept of Ministry
I serve a church. I do not work for it. Ministry for me is a calling, not a job. The
classical word “vocare” – meaning to be called to a higher purpose – is essential to my
understanding of what I do as a religious professional. This higher purpose assumes that
life is an ongoing challenge toward achieving wholeness, one that is both joyous and
tragic. I am called to help fashion that process of growth for others, and in that process, to
grow as well.
The image I have for ministry is that of a novelist who attempts creation of a wellintegrated narrative, where each character weaves her or his own story to completion; but
where, as in real life, there are many turns of fate and numerous surprises. Like the
novelist, the minister not only helps to create purpose for others, but also receives it.
Ministry for me, then, implies mutuality between the minister and the
congregation, where each gives and receives the bounty of the human experience; where
each is called to that higher purpose of striving for wholeness.
How do we attempt this? How do we minister?
By affirming the individual within a relational context. That exquisite tension
between personal need and communal necessity begets a dynamic energy that is
emblematic of our religious movement. We minister well when we love each other
beyond color, culture, creed or class; beyond physical or mental challenge; beyond
gender or sexual orientation; beyond theo-politcal choice; beyond professional
attainment. Our decision-making process works well when each of us is included and
thereby validated. When we say we honor the differences that unite us and live this
principle to the fullest, we express the redemptive value of our humanness.
How do we minister?
By providing an environment of education and stimulation for adults and
children. We, the liberating church, have a proud and noble tradition of learning that
provides for the dissemination of ever-new truths and opinions. We embrace the principle
of freedom that calls us to seek answers to life’s questions. Our authority for what we
believe and feel springs from universal teachings down through human history to the
present. But ideally, we do not leave our education in the meeting hall. We take it to the
wider community, influencing life for the better, whatever that implies for each of us,
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however local or global: within the framework of social activism, artistic nurture,
community service, or wherever our passion leads us.
How do we minister?
By calling each person to deeper awareness. We are a home on the way from
birth to death where the more profound meanings of our shared humanity can be
discovered. Our ministry to each other during life’s passages, with all its tragicomedy,
helps us discover the fullness of life. We minister when we care intimately for each other
and for our human neighbors; when we realize the interwoven fabric of our fragile planet
and strive to enhance life rather than destroy it; when we discover the ethical imperatives
urging us to live a good and just existence. Truly, we minister to each other as we revere
the beauty and mystery of the world around us with all its complexities and glory.
Importance of Religious Education for Our Youth
I have worked with many leaders of church Religious Education programs, as we
have attempted to instruct not just the children, but also their parents and other adults
about issues of faith and ethics.
Truly these issues blend for me, because my concept of educating others attempts
to bring both the cerebral and physical together – what is sometimes referred to as the
“pietistic” (inner directed) and the “prophetic” (outer directed).
I believe, along with that great RE teacher, Sophia Fahs, that the child should be
understood as having an innate sense of wisdom and goodness. In instructing our youth,
our UU methodology should be one that honors these qualities. By doing this, we nurture
the child toward reaching his/her fullness of being.
I have always encouraged some participation of the children during the worship
service and this has meant different things depending upon the “demographics” of the
church community.
For some groups, frequent services have allowed community building that cuts
across generational lines. I have worked with the families in helping them plan and
participate in these worship experiences.
For other groups, a regular “Children’s Time” during the service has occurred and
I have frequently given the message to the kids.
I also have served as an advisor to our youth in the capacity of mentor for Boy
Scout and Girl Scout activities. During my stay in Sarasota, I addressed a gathering of
hundreds of Girl Scouts about what it means to be an ethical being.
At other times I have addressed high school seniors at awards banquets.
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I have led discussion groups with parents and their children on such topics as
“What to Say to Your Kid about Fundamentalist Christianity,” and “Sexual Ethics:
Should It Be Taught in Our Church?”
I have also held classes specifically for the parents of our RE children on UU
history, principles and purposes.
I have worked with the RE community on social action projects, e.g. in Sarasota
on a hunger project, where we went to a local farm and picked truckloads of vegetables
that were delivered to a local food distribution agency.
A favorite reading of mine about children titled “Notes on an Unhurried Journey”
(by Sandy Price) speaks to my concept of Religious Education when it says:
When we adults think of children, there is a simple truth that we ignore –
childhood is not preparation for life; childhood is life. A child isn’t getting ready to live;
a child is living.
For me this sums up my concept of respecting the child for whom s/he is at
present and desires to be in the future. As a minister within the liberal tradition, I have
attempted to be a helpmate in that process.
Denominational and District Involvement
National Board Member – UU Service Committee – 5 years. I was part of the delegation
that visited the Philippines to address humanitarian reform and economic development.
We met with the future president of the country, Fidel Ramos, and various other national
figures. I served on the Service Committee’s “Policy Committee” and was chair of the
national minister’s group.
President of the U.S. Chapter of The International Association for Religious Freedom, the
oldest interfaith dialogue organization in the U.S. During my service, the IARF had its
international conference at Stanford University. I presented a paper on world ecology that
was published.
Member of the UUA Committee, Black Concerns Working Group that led workshops
around the U.S. in an attempt to educate UU congregations about Black-White issues.
UUA Representative to the Philippines where I visited our churches there and reported to
the UUA Board of Trustees. My report was the basis for the Philippine UUs being
admitted as the first international group with full status in the UU Association.
Invited to be the main speaker at the European UU retreat in Spa, Belgium. Also spoke at
the UU congregation at The Hague.
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Spent two summers as Visiting Minister at Rosslyn Hill Unitarian Chapel, Hampstead,
England.
Spent 3 months (2004) as Visiting Minister at the Unitarian Church in Adelaide,
Australia. Spent a month before this as Visiting Minister in New Zealand, speaking at the
five churches there.
Member of the Southwest District Board and coordinator for the annual Summer Institute
in Lake Texoma, OK. It was one of the largest in attendance of all time – and I underspent my budget.
Worked on the UUA President’s Council, the national group that raised money for the
UUA.
Served twice as Chaplain at the UU summer camp at Ferry Beach, ME.
Have spoken at numerous UU minister’s functions – including scores of Installation and
Ordination services.
Have led workshops and preached at a variety of district conferences and churches.
Won the Long Beach (CA) newspaper’s award for the outstanding op-ed piece.
Won the Skinner Sermon Award contest for the FL District, 2012.
Among numerous letters to the editor and articles in various magazines and newspapers, I
have had quite a few in the UU WORLD, including one in the current (Spring, 2014)
issue.
Community Outreach
Throughout my ministerial service, I have been a member or been involved with
the following organizations:
NAACP, ACLU, Planned Parenthood (speaker a few times), Hemlock Society
(Advisory Board), NOW (had a news article in their national publication), ALSO (gay
youth group – Advisory Board), United Farm Workers (worked with Cesar Chavez),
Americans United for Separation of Church and State (speaker a few times).
Activities have included:
Emcee at peace rallies – one was the largest demonstration against the war in Iraq
held in the state of Florida.
A coordinator of the Martin Luther King Marches for racial equality, and
participant in citywide interfaith services in honor of Dr. King’s work.
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Co-founder of two Returned Peace Corps Volunteer Organizations – in Northern
CA and in WV. Both groups continue to do humanitarian work.
Participant in the Senior CA State Legislature.
Entertainer at various adult day care centers, retirement and care homes, schools,
and churches.
Served as an “on-call” chaplain at a mortuary.
Served on the board of a residential drug rehabilitation center for adolescents.
Invited on an interfaith clergy fact-finding trip to Israel sponsored by the Jewish
Federation of Los Angeles. We met with high government officials, numerous Jewish and
Muslim leaders, and with groups working in economic development, education, and
medical aid. I gave a number of talks to the public about my experience.
Was actively involved in work against the Death Penalty, including trips to San
Quentin Prison to demonstrate against executions. My articles on this issue were
published.
Interviewed by National Public Radio for a celebration of Albert Schweitzer’s
life.
Trained Hospice Care volunteers.
Appeared on a series of Public Television shows concerning my work with Death
and Dying issues.
Publications
PLAYING GOD (a book detailing various religious perspectives on the “right to
die” issue).
PROCEEDINGS OF THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR
RELIGIOUS FREEDOM (my article was on the state of the world’s ecological system)
UU WORLD MAGAZINE – front-page article on my UUA-sponsored trip to The
Philippine UU churches
UU Service Committee’s publication – my sermon on the fact-finding trip to the
Philippines was distributed nationally
Op-Ed piece in the “Long Beach Press Telegram” opposing the Gulf War (it won
the Editor’s Award as the outstanding op-ed piece)
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Frequent contributor of articles to the religious sections of both the “Sacramento
Bee” and the Charleston (WV) Gazette”
I also have had over 100 Letters to the Editor published – including ones in “The
Los Angeles Times,” “The New Orleans Picayune,” “The Daily Breeze: (Los Angeles
newspaper), “The Oakland Tribune,” “The Oak Ridger,” “The Sarasota Herald Tribune”
“Sacramento Bee” and “Charleston Gazette.” The causes I have addressed have been
quite diverse, but almost totally ones that the UU Association has taken a position on
through our General Assembly process.
Other articles published have included ones in:
“Creative Thought” (the national magazine for Religious Science)
“The Advocate” (national Gay magazine – my article was about Gay
Youth and Suicide)
“Kairos” (UU Theological Journal)
“Church of the Larger Fellowship Newsletter”
“UU Ministers Association Newsletter”
“UU Urban Church Coalition”
UU Groups in Mexico and Puerto Rico have translated my sermon “Why We Are
Not Catholics” into Spanish.
British UU Book of Meditations – my piece is “Angels Among Us”
EXPERIENCE AS A TEACHER
United States Peace Corps Volunteer, Notre Dame College, Jolo, Sulu, The
Philippines 1969-70. This was on a tiny island, 700 miles south of Manila and mostly
Muslim-inhabited. Taught English as a Second Language, literature, and music. Lived
with a Filipino host family with whom I still communicate 45 years later. Had a summer
project in Manila where I worked as a music consultant at the newly created Philippine
Cultural Center. Imelda Marcos was my boss.
Abbey School, Canon City, CO 1971-72. Taught English and music at this prep school.
Served as a dormitory counselor. Worked on various musical productions with students.
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Iranian Army-Air Force, Esfahan, Iran 1975-76. Taught English as a Second
Language and Technical English to helicopter pilots. Lived with Iranian family.
Pahlavi University, Shiraz, Iran 1977-78. Taught English as a Second Language.
Brent School, Baguio City, The Philippines 1976. Taught English, psychology, and
music at this private Episcopal school. Served as a dormitory counselor.
SELECTION OF SERMONS
FIFTY YEARS OF BEING A UU: STEWARDSHIP SUNDAY
Created on Sunday, 08 January 2012 Written by Rev. Don Beaudreault
Listen:
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OPENING WORDS: "Being a Unitarian Universalist..."
Being a Unitarian Universalist is a WAY OF BEING IN THE WORLD that goes beyond an
institutional connection, a specific history, or a litmus test of positions held on social/political
causes. All three things come somewhat into play, but ultimately, it is about a certain "style" or
"attitude" concerning planetary if not cosmological existence. These are basic to being a UU: a
questioning mind seeking authenticity and "truth(s)," a kind heart that reaches out in love to
others and the environment and humbly respects one's self, and a desire to make a difference in
the world through actions, large or small.
-- Beaudreault
MEDITATION: "Types of Unitarian Universalists"
TYPE ONE UU: "Looky Loo" – curious, cautious, non-committal; sometimes takes years to feel
that UU is the right choice; sometimes takes the first 3 minutes of a sermon to know that UU is
the wrong choice and might very well bolt for the exit; a real shopper.
TYPE TWO UU: "Spiritually Bruised" – refugee from another faith; feels the effects of creedal,
dogmatic and doctrinaire burnout; possibly volatile when asked to talk about religious upbringing;
maybe cynical about religion; feels hurt and betrayed by "church."
TYPE THREE UU: "John-Jane One Note" – exuberant mono-dimensionalist; one issue feeds a
spiritual energy; wants the congregation to support THE cause; might get discouraged when sees
that UUs make their own choices in their own good time.
TYPE FOUR UU: "Einstein Has Nothing Over Me" – cerebralist who is usually intellectually a
number of steps ahead of others, including the minister; might or might not be "wise" or "social"; a
unique and wonderful type when brain links up with heart.
TYPE FOUR UU: "Mother Theresa Has Nothing Over Me" – the all-heart person; wonderful
idealist; love and acceptance of differences are touchstones; quiet acts of charity; might seem
tough, but can be hurt easily; hard to be around a saint for some UUs.
TYPE FIVE UU: "The Institutionalist" – realizes that we have a history and KNOWS that history;
appreciates that there is a philosophical way of being UU: that martyrs have died for our faith, that
we are not just an "anything goes" movement, supports us fiercely.
TYPE SIX UU: "The Organizationalist" – part of the 10% of any group that is currently in a
leadership capacity; wants to make a difference, so pitches in and helps wherever needed;
usually already over-committed; needs to watch fatigue issues.
TYPE SEVEN UU: "Just Needs to Be Here"– desires human connection; needs a place where
deep values are cherished; seeks love; appreciates the conviviality and energy of a community;
church represents "family" where joys and sorrows are shared.
TYPE EIGHT UU: "Bruised No More" – has evolved from TYPE TWO UU; feels wonderfully
liberated now; open to a variety of religious experiences, to the fullness of life; ready to accept
messages from the universe; eagerness to learn, be, and do.
TYPE NINE UU: "The Fixer" – imbibes a strong concept of justice; envisions UU as a conduit for
expressing values of freedom, love, and equity through dialogue and action; seeks application of
ethical, fair principles through reasoned and effective means.
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TYPE TEN UU: "Seeker of Peace" – a quiet, meditative type for whom "spirituality" means
turning-inward to seek universal answers; appreciates silence and simplicity; sees the common
thread of love and joy taught by all great spiritual teachers.
These are just some of the "UU Types" I have observed over the years. Obviously, no one person
can be so stereotyped; in fact, most of us have varying traits that make up who we are or think we
are.
But I do believe that in common, we UUs are on a pathway of discovery – each in his or her way.
And may we help each other find the direction we want to go.
-- Beaudreault
SERMON: "Fifty Years of Being a UU: Stewardship Sunday"
This year will mark the 50th year that I attended my first Unitarian Universalist worship service. As
the years have gone by, I have come to believe that a foundational reason that I continue to be a
UU and to serve as one of a thousand UU ministers in this country and support UU with money is
because I believe in practicing "stewardship."
"Stewardship" is defined as "the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to
one's care." (Merriam Webster Dictionary)
Let me give you that definition again, but this time let me just say the essential words by lingering
on each one a bit, allowing you to conjure up an association with the individual word:
"careful"
"responsible"
"management"
"something"
"entrusted"
"care"
And let us remember that the meaning of the word focuses on the individual. Whatever this
"something" is that is "entrusted" for "management" in a "careful" and "responsible" way is given
to "one's" "care."
Your care. My care. Still, by extension of the sense of "one's care": the one becomes the many,
i.e. the care becomes the community's – a collective caring.
It is "entrusted" – this "something" (whatever it is). That means that someone at some time or
another trusted you, trusted me, and trusted us to take care of this precious thing.
In effect, we are heirs to those who believed in what they previously had been the caretakers of.
Think about what you personally have been entrusted to care for – beyond considering this
congregation for a moment.
You care for:
Your own "self" – your own well-being – of body/mind/spirit (human or ethereal – your choice!)
You exercise, watch your diet and take your cholesterol pills. You read books, newspapers, and
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blogs written by intelligent and progressive people. You meditate, cogitate, pray, sit quietly, and
listen to rhapsodic music.
You care for:
Your loved ones – the ones you have given time and energy and perhaps financial resource to.
Perhaps to the point of great sacrifice to yourself. You sometimes feel guilty that you do too much
or too little or perhaps you feel sad that you are not appreciated by those for whom you care. But
you care – and show it – anyway.
You care for:
Your special cause in the world – pounding nails for Habitat for Humanity, planting trees in Israel
to help the desert bloom, knocking on doors to register voters, raising money for breast cancer
research by participating in the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure," being a Big Brother or
Sister to kids who need you.
Now, saying all this let me say that "stewardship" is really what it has been about for me in the 50
years that I have been a Unitarian Universalist. All those words in that definition apply. Let me
make my point as I tell you why you, too, must continue to believe in and support Unitarian
Universalism.
I knew 50 years ago when I walked through the doors of the All Souls UU Church in Washington,
D. C. (my home town), that I belonged. That there, indeed, was "something" I needed to carefully
and responsibly manage in my life. To make this movement part of my existence – indeed, it was
that something that spoke to me immediately of core values: ones trumpeting individual thought
and feeling within a beloved, supportive community. One that spoke of meaning and purpose –
not of creed or dogma. A way of being in the world that went even beyond mere denominational
or institutional or historical connection, but shot straight to the heart of the matter: to the
preciousness of life itself – to the honoring of each one of us, to the power of loving our self and
others not just for our triumphs but for our failures as well.
I even remember what the minister – The Rev. Duncan Howlett was speaking on that day – it was
the Sunday before Christmas in 1962 and he was informing the congregation why he felt he
should not pay taxes.
No baby Jesus message on that Sunday. No "blessed assurance" that all would be well.
However, I think we did sing "Silent Night" – in that packed assemblage in that more- traditionally
sculpted sanctuary: pews and carpets and robed choir and robed minister and (did I mention?)
Adlai Stevenson and members of Congress.
A day that was the beginning of my more formal association with this liberating movement. A day
when for the first time in a church I did not hear about sin and damnation and condemnation and
a personal savior and repentance and resurrection.
Oh this Unitarian Universalism was something I felt I might care for.
So if you were alive back then, which church or synagogue or religious assemblage or living room
were you seated in on that Sunday before Christmas, 1962? Were any of you sitting in a UU
church back then?
As I consider my own journey in this proud and historic religious movement, let me develop some
of the ideas I raised in our Meditation Reading about "Types of Unitarian Universalists" that I have
observed in my 50 years as a UU – this time discussing three broad types.
First consider the MATURE UU.
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You who are in this category view the subject of "spirituality" with openness – "spirituality" being a
word I choose to define as "that which calls us to a deeper meaning and purpose in our life; that
which lifts us out of the ordinary; that which suggests there is more to our existence than we can
possibly imagine."
Literature from the Eastern spiritual tradition speaks of "masters" who have ascended to a higher
state of awareness - even at a very young age. The Dalai Lama is a prime example of this.
Still, being older with much experience helps one mature – although there are exceptions here,
too!
I imagine that many of you who discovered Unitarian Universalism in your seasoned period of life,
shifted through various ways of spirituality before discovering us. You might have entered our
movement with a more mature view of who we are, that is to say, aware that as a historical
theological movement, we are ever in process, ever changing ("morphing" if you will) to fit our
particular needs and wants. Understanding this about us as a "spiritual" people, you have
accepted the multitudinous ways there are of being a UU – including Universal Theist, UU
Christian, UU Jew, UU Buddhist, UU Taoist, Religious Humanist, UU Feminist, Earth Centered
Spiritualist, Secular Humanist, Atheist, Agnostic (a hopeful one or not!), Transcendentalist,
Mystic, Existentialist – the list is long – open-ended to be sure!
The point is, that in this stage of being a UU, you have moved beyond categories – or at least
beyond the attempt to put someone else into a category. You see our movement as something
that might be institutional by necessity (since it needs structure or it will fly apart with the
community shattering into individual units) but also you see us as a way of reaching out to all
people everywhere, regardless of their specific spiritual category. Then again, you might practice
a specific religious tradition but integrate this into a universal understanding of various traditions.
Indeed, you are a steward of this type of Unitarian Universalism.
A second type of UU is the INSTITUTIONALIST UU.
Yours is a UU way of being that proudly carries the banner of our faith, replete with knowledge of
our history, practices, purposes, and principles. And you are also very current in what the UU
movement is doing. You zero in on what is specifically UU, rather than hold the universal
perspective of a MATURE UU.
Neither way is superior to the other – just different. And both intersect with one another at times.
You might have been born a UU; you might come from generations of UUs; maybe, however, you
are a recent, impassioned "convert" and sleep, eat and drink our spirituality every chance you
get. However long you have been a UU, you feel you most spread the UU gospel with everyone
you meet -and you should be on our church membership committee (if you are not already). You
not only know who Servetus was and why, when, and how he died, but you can even spell
"Servetus."
Delighted to do so, you volunteer for church boards, committees, and coffee making. You attend
cluster, district and national meetings of UUs. Without ever having taught children before, you
offer your services to our church school, believing strongly that you want our young people to feel
the same joy you do in having discovered this wonderful church that allows you to create your
own theology, and that honors your right to express what you feel and to act upon your principles
(as long as they fit within the categories of love and respect for the rights of others).
And to the best of your ability, you put your money where your beliefs are – believing that the
liberating work of the church must go on.
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Indeed, you are a steward of this type of Unitarian Universalism.
Finally, there is UU type that we can call the STILL GROWING UU, not to say that the MATURE
UU and the UU INSTITUTIONALIST are not growing.
Rather, the STILL GROWING UU is primarily exploring one avenue of theology or philosophy.
What is particularly interesting about this type - theologically speaking - is that you might return to
some prior beliefs you once held (perhaps as a child) but now you do so with more
understanding. You are attempting to inculcate them into your current theological belief structure,
thereby creating something new and exciting for yourself.
For example, those who have studied Jungian Psychology might apply some of these concepts to
their once-discarded Christian beliefs. They now can understand Jesus to have been an
"individuated" human being – a person who was congruent in thought, feeling, word and deed. In
this way, he leads others to "salvation" (i.e., "individuation" in the here and now).
Sometimes the STILL GROWING UU might be perceived by others whose type of Unitarian
Universalism differs, as a single-issue UU. Again, this way of being within our liberating spiritual
community is neither better nor worse than being another way, it is just different.
Examples of the STILL GROWING UU would include those whose faith revolves around action or
contemplation. This balancing act within a church community – and not just within the UU
community – has historically been dubbed the "prophetic" versus the "pietistic" (the latter term not
meant to be derogatory, but referring to "turning inward" in a contemplative manner, rather than
"turning outward" through action the way one who practices the "prophetic" tradition would do).
Indeed, you are a steward of this type of Unitarian Universalism.
So then, these are just three ways of practicing UU:
MATURE UU
INSTITUTIONALIST UU
STILL GROWING UU
They meld together or not at times - either within the individual or the community. Ideally all of us
Unitarian Universalists will be all things at all times – and totally "together" beyond tension
("divine tension" or any kind of tension). In other words, all of us at all times will be completely
"individuated" – congruent in thought, feeling, word and deed.
Well, that would be something, wouldn't it? But if all of us Unitarian Universalists were all things at
all times: Who would bake the cookies? Water the flowers? Lock up the sanctuary when
everyone else has gone home?
The truth is that we UUs are diverse – in many ways. But at the same time we are a community.
Take away our individual uniqueness – fit any one of us into a mould – then you might as well
lock up this sanctuary for good! Unitarian Universalism does not work like that. What works – and
what you can tell those who know nothing about us is that we believe as stewards of this proud
and historic movement that there is power in supporting the concept of UNITY IN DIVERSITY.
We are not a cookie-cutter religious denomination or congregation. The flowers that we water are
multi-hued – as are the people who do the watering.
This concept of believing in you – you as an individual – and in finding your strength within a
community implies considerable dialogue and listening in order be the best we can be as
individuals and as a congregation.
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You see, this being a UU is all a mix. It is about as eclectic in its composition as it can be. Don't
limit it by trying to define it so precisely. It is meant to be open-ended in beliefs and practices.
Ours is a journey, rather than a destination; we travel a labyrinth filled with questions and
discover some answers along the way.
Ours is a movement – ever in process - where no matter how long you have been a UU in name
is not really as important as how long you have been an open, seeking individual who believes
that what we can collectively agree on is the multi-faceted approach to discovering meaning and
purpose and that we have the opportunity to never stop growing in mind/body/spirit.
We must all practice stewardship to maintain this free and historic belief.
Yes, Unitarian Universalism works for us – when we realize that even if we do not agree on some
matters of theology or philosophy or organizational structuring we still will sit down together and
reason together.
Saying all this in a different way – you need to support this congregation (and by doing so support
the larger UU movement). You need to give your time, talent, and yes by all means your financial
wherewithal to the extent you can – so that you will have a place to be yourself in a world that
often seeks to categorize you; that tells you that you must think the way others think; that
demands that you accept the way things are even if you know in your heart they are not right.
My friends, the Unitarian Universalists I know do not want to be anyone else but themselves –
which implies some feistiness! They want to be free to think for themselves, speak for
themselves, and act for themselves. They want to serve the causes they believe in. Love whom
they choose. Speak out when injustice arises. Comfort those in need. And always, always, stand
on the side of love – not of hatred, not of bigotry, not of malicious intent, not of domination.
You need this place. I need it. We need it together. But it cannot flourish unless each of us does
our part in making it flourish.
So thank you for the giving of your resources – for some of you for decades; for others only
recently. Know that we are part of that greater cloud of witnesses who existed before we did.
They were the caretakers who carefully and responsibly managed this special "something" called
Unitarian Universalism. Some of them were discriminated against in doing this; they fled their
homes; they were imprisoned; they were burned at the stake.
Never forget that you and I are heirs to those caretakers. Never think of this congregation as
some isolated place. We are not alone. We are the descendants of those who were the stewards
of this liberating faith long before we lived. And our mandate from them is not to sit on our
individual or institutional franchises, but to welcome all those in the larger community around us
who need us – as we need them.
And so may we manage this legacy well. And when we breathe our last, may we know that we
did what we could, and lived the way our principles and purposes called us to live, and therefore,
that we were the stewards, too, who passed on to others this precious and profound way of being
called: "Unitarian Universalism."
CLOSING WORDS: "Finally, Unitarian Universalism at its best..."
Finally, Unitarian Universalism at its best is NON-JUDGEMENTAL and FORGIVING. We are a
progressive movement based on possibility, not on recrimination; on hope, not resignation. We
can guide others, helping them to understand the consequences of their actions, but let us do so
with loving intent. And when we make mistakes, may we seek forgiveness and know that those
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we have wronged will attempt to understand our shortcomings and seek to forgive us. We realize
that these are ideals, but we are a people who seek to recreate the world afresh each morning.
-- Beaudreault
LIVING WITH GOOD INTENTION (Part Two)
Created on Sunday, 29 January 2012 Written by Rev. Don Beaudreault
Listen:
OPENING WORDS: "When you make it a strong habit..."
When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your
life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear and even your sadness will disappear if you
don't take anything personally.
-- The Four Agreements, p.58-59, Don Miguel Ruiz
MEDITATION: "Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally..."
Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally...if I see you on the street and say "Hey,
you are so stupid," without knowing you, it's not about you, it's about me. If you take it personally,
perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself: "How does he know? Is he
clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?"
You take it personally, because you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the
poison goes through you, and you are trapped in the dream of hell. What causes you to be
trapped is what we call "personal importance." Personal importance, or taking things personally,
is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is
about "me." During the period of our education or domestication, we learn to take everything
personally. We think we are responsible for everything. Me, me, me, always me!
Nothing that people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own
dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When
we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and
we try to impose our world on their world...
Whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream...
-- Ruiz, pp. 47, 48, 50
SERMON: "Living with Good Intention, Part Two: "Don't Take Anything Personally"
Introduction
Today we continue a second instalment of what started out as a two- part series based on the
work The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, grew into a four-part series, and this week
morphed into a five-part series, when I discovered that Ruiz wrote another book called The Fifth
Agreement.
So the Five Agreements include:
* Be impeccable with your word.
* Don't take anything personally.
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* Don't make assumptions.
* Always do your best.
* Be skeptical but learn to listen.
Ruiz is within the tradition of the ancient people of Mexico called "Toltec" who were versed in
scientific and spiritual pursuit. He is a direct descendant of shamans and faith healers, and is a
surgeon by professional training.
Toltec wisdom, however, is not a "religion" per se. It is a philosophy which posits a practical
method to achieve a more satisfying life.
The Second Agreement
This morning we shall explore the "Second Agreement": Don't take anything personally.
This one might very well be the Achilles heel for many of us in this room - those of us who
throughout our lives have been deemed "overly sensitive," "thin-skinned," "someone who is hurt
easily."
Anyone in this room self-identify with these remarks?
As I went through this week thinking about these things, I noted how many times I violated this
Second Agreement. And I noted how many times others took things personally: what I said to
them; what others said to them.
And noting the numerous times these situations arose, I also noted how I or others reacted to
these situations.
I could only observe the tone of voice of the others, or their bodily actions, or their emails.
Observing myself, I could determine such bodily changes as heart palpitations, an upset
stomach, a flushed face, shaky hands, sleeplessness, low blood sugar, a migraine headache and
general agitation – and I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet!
Welcome to my world – although I dare say that some of you have similar worlds to mine.
Let's face it, this Agreement Two is – as Yul Brynner in the "King and I" would have said: "A
Puzzlement." More to the point for our purposes at this moment, "taking things personally" is a
be-devilment, a scourge, a grand mal shut-down of corporeal/somatic/psycho-dimensional/soulweariness.
In a phrase: we have a big problem.
Origin of the Difficulty
But why do we have such a dilemma? Why can't those who take things personally – and that
would include all of us but the saints among us – free ourselves of this limiting factor?
Don Miguel Ruiz tells us that these Five Agreements serve as guidelines to help us extricate
ourselves from the other agreements – those personal ones each of us concocts as we are
influenced by life's experiences. These self-created rules put us into hell – that is the dream we
live in. But by practicing these Five Agreements (which are based upon age-old truths), we can
start living a happy dream.
Take that Second Agreement. Why do we take things personally?
Our meditation reading – which are the words of Ruiz himself – gets to the answer:
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What causes you to be trapped is what we call "personal importance." Personal importance, or
taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the
assumption that everything is about "me."
As if feeling bad because of what others say about us isn't horrible enough, we now learn that we
are selfish!
Well, isn't that the truth?
So we must ask why are we "selfish"?
Exploring "Selfishness" – The Religious Lens
For one thing, if we look at the concept through the myriad of lenses of prescribed religious
doctrine, we see that one's sense of "self" – or to use a more modern word – one's sense of
"selfhood" – is sometimes deemed inherently evil, or inherently good.
We, who are heirs to the liberal side of Protestant thought, believe in the latter – now and in the
past. We Unitarian Universalists even proclaim as much in our very first "Principle" when we
"affirm and promote"
the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
That is a far cry from the crystallized doctrine that proclaimed "the fall of man" which was "the
original sin."
The "self" therefore can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending upon which lens you are
using.
Most of us moderns do realize that too much love of self can be a bit too much love of self – if
that particular self is attempting to relate to other selves.
So is self-denigration of self – where you deem yourself or others as never good enough. In truth
this, too, is over love of self – or selfishness.
A healthy sense of ego, say some people, is one which blends into society without losing one's
own core identity.
Doing that allows congruence to one's identity, a seamlessness of woven patterning.
Most of us never get to that stage of self-identity. We are buffeted around by the opinions of
others – taking them or leaving them – but usually feeling some disruption of inner peace in the
process.
We are affected by such feedback because we are too consumed by self, believing that it really
is, as Ruiz puts it all about:
Me, me, me, always me!
Now, that is not a good sense of selfhood – it is destructive of self and of other selves.
I have found two quotations about this subject – which is, in effect, the theme of humility – and
both writers use architectural imagery and have a religious perspective:
First, St. Augustine:
Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first
the foundation of humility.
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Second, a Unitarian Universalist, one Frank Lloyd Wright – who is a contrarian to St. Augustine
when he affirms:
Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the
former and have seen no reason to change.
Obviously, Wright needed to work on the Second Agreement, although at least he was not a
hypocrite! One wonders if he was bothered much by the comments of others.
At any rate, some of us express a sense of self-centeredness, too, but the kind that would benefit
from eschewing comments others make that we then use as determiners of who we are, how we
feel, what we think, and what we do.
But hear what Ruiz is telling us in this regard: it is not just the negative, self-defeating comments
he is telling us to deflect, but the positive, self-affirming ones as well!
As he puts it:
It is not important to me what you think about me, and I don't take what you think personally. I
don't take it personally when people say, "Miguel, you are the best," and I also don't take it
personally when they say, "Miguel, you are the worst." I know that when you are happy you will
tell me, "Miguel, you are such an angel!" But when you are mad at me you will say, "Oh, Miguel,
you are such a devil! You are so disgusting! How can you say those things?" Either way, it does
not affect me because I know what I am. I don't have the need to be accepted...
It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. (Ruiz, p. 51).
Exploring "Selfishness" – The Psychological Lens
The idea of being consumed by self – a narcissistic reality that each of us participates in to
varying degrees – has a wealth of possible psychological reasons for its existence.
The so-called "personality theorists" or "personologists" go at it by setting up such lenses to look
through as: Freedom versus Determinism; Heredity versus Environment; Uniqueness versus
Universality; Active versus Reactive; Optimistic versus Pessimistic – that is to say the expectation
that someone can change or not change unwanted behavior.
By studying "personality" through their chosen lens, these theorists can determine patterns of
behavior, emotions, and ideas that consistently show up that influence the development of an
individual's persona – what values exist, what hopes or expectations, how the person views
him/herself.
Again, this is about "personhood."
Now, consider that so-called "shadow side" of yourself – that undeveloped or non-individuated
self! Here we are getting into the thought of Carl Jung.
So, your shadow side shows up when you practice "projection" – that is to say, when you take
what you do not like about yourself and attach it to the other individual's personality – the
persona.
In doing this, you sincerely believe that it IS the other person who is reacting in a way as if s/he is
hell-bent on hurting you.
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So when you perceive that person as being negative toward you, you start to take things
personally – in a way this makes sense, since what you do not like about that individual are those
very qualities you do not like about yourself – or at least feel uncomfortable about.
It's odd, isn't it, that there are sometimes two major learning lessons when you are dealing with
those who you perceive as the most "difficult" people:
* You can learn a lot about yourself when you explore that difficult relationship with that other
person.
* You sometimes can forge a strong bond with that person exactly because s/he has a lot to
teach you about yourself. In a way it is a very thin line between "the other" as "enemy" and as
"friend."
That is not to say that this process is at all easy – it is desperately hard to stay with and to learn
from. But it can provide a very rich lesson about not just your sense of "self" but about life in
general.
Most of us, however, do not go into that rarefied atmosphere of human interaction with someone
we feel is "out to get us."
We hide our feelings – of hurt and disappointment; that sense that we have been negated and
discounted.
We might be afraid if we attempt connection that we will be hurt even more than we perceive we
have already.
Or, we hide our feelings of disappointment through humor or in a braggadocio manner – or
perhaps we really are not being personally affected by such onslaughts of negativity.
That inimitable movie director, Mel Brooks, illustrates this thinking in his amusing way when he
was asked what he thought of critics and replied:
They're very noisy at night. You can't sleep in the country because of them. His interviewer
corrected him by saying that he had asked him what he thought of critics to which Brooks
promptly responded: Oh, critics! What good are they? They can't make music with their hind legs.
Of similar intent are the justly famous words of that flamboyant pianist Liberace who said to the
critics: What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.
Most of us, however, would probably be closer in attitude to Orson Welles:
Every actor in his heart believes everything bad that's printed about him.
Truly, sometimes the people who are living in their particular hells – taking things so personally –
rising with the positive comment, falling with the negative one – are the most sensitive – and
therefore the most creative individuals.
Adversity sometimes breeds that kind of genius.
Repercussions
I personally know, as someone who makes a considerable part of his living by writing and
speaking, that my words affect others as do their words in response affect me.
The assumption that any of us will ever truly communicate to each other the exact things we are
thinking and feeling is faulty thinking. How can we, when we do not know ourselves what we are
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thinking and feeling, but are only assuming that we do? And in our assumptions come
approximation.
As an individual who has spoken before thousands of people, I assume (actually it really is more
like "know") that what I say is not what others hear – and that what others hear is grandly diverse.
Consider the scenario: you are now the minister. You have been ministering for over three
decades. One day, while standing at the exit after the service is over, you suddenly are
transported to a different time frame. All three decades plus of parishioners are filing past you,
trying to get to the coffee hour. And you hear all their comments about all the sermons you have
ever preached. And most of them you do take personally. You hear such things as:
* That was very interesting.
* You really reached for the stars on that one.
* Do you have a copy of that?
* I would hear you better if you didn't lower your voice at the end of every sentence.
* Did you preach that one before?
* That was a bit long.
* Oh, we're getting out of here early today.
* That was your best sermon ever...I mean the others were alright, but...
* The word is not pronounced "shimmera"!
* I sure like your piano playing...your sermon was okay, too.
Then people past by you from those decades whose actions have indicated their evaluation of
your sermons and written words:
* One young mother, upon saying that she completely disagrees with what you have preached
against child abuse, slaps you across your face - hard.
* A former Ivy League professor tells you that he wishes you were dead and that you better watch
out during the upcoming Easter Sunday service.
* A man who disagrees with what you said in a newspaper article against the death penalty,
threatens your wife and children by asking how you would feel if he shot them to death.
* Some women in the church, believing you said from the pulpit that your wife was pregnant again
(which you never said), are wondering 8 months later why she isn't "showing."
* Your ministerial predecessor who is now retired and is attending the church you are now
serving, the same one he served for 24 years, suggests some pointers to improve your preaching
(so that you will preach more like he used to).
* A man whose wife has recently died after over 60 years of marriage merely grasps your hand
and you see tears in his eyes.
* After you have preached in favor of same-sex marriage, a straight couple greets you with: "You
seem to know a lot about relationships, would you marry us?"
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* A long-time member of the congregation comments about your sermon – the only one you have
ever written with strict rhythm and rhyme and spent a quadruple amount of time researching and
writing compared to your standard sermons – "well, that was your worst one ever – boring!"
* You note a first time visitor with her eyes cast down, moving as fast as she can toward the other
exit so she will not have to greet you or anyone else.
* After a number of people have passed by you, you automatically extend your hand in greeting
and note with a start, a familiar face: your spouse's. You change then from being the preacher de
jour to the preacher exposed, feeling a bit disoriented.
Conclusion
This little scenario is symbolic of your life and mine, for each of us has people who pass through
our lives, each with their own messages to tell us, and we reciprocate with our own messages to
them.
Sometimes we get it right – we express what we want to say; we hear what others have to tell us.
But most of the time – especially for those of us who take things personally – we wind up overly
puffed up with praise (as we might think of it) or overly deflated with negative criticism (as we
might think of it).
It is only in a state of intentionality to change how we perceive these words (and actions) of
others that can bring us a less stressful life, one where indeed:
Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me nor can words give me an
exaggerated sense of who I really am: and that is to say, just a human being, a part of nature, an
animal, unique in some ways, but also not so unique.
Don't take things personally.
I wish you luck – and I wish myself luck.
CLOSING WORDS: "As you make a habit of not taking anything personally..."
As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won't need to place your trust in what
others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never
responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you.
Ruiz
WHY I AM A UNITARIAN UNIVERSALIST HUMANIST
Created on Sunday, 02 May 2010 Written by Rev. Don Beaudreault
OPENING READING: "The Right Path"
People who have a religion should be glad, for not everyone has the gift of believing in heavenly
things. You don't necessarily even have to be afraid of punishment after death; hell and heaven
are things that a lot of people can't accept, but still a religion, it doesn't matter which, keeps a
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person on the right path. It isn't the fear of God but the upholding of one's own honor and
conscience.
-- Anne Frank
MEDITATION READING: "Something of God"
I hear and behold God in every object, yet understand God not in the least,
Nor do I understand who could be more wonderful than myself,
Why should I wish to see God better than this day?
I see something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then,
In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass,
I find letters from God dropped in the street, and every one is signed by God's name.
And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoe'er I go
Others will punctually come forever and ever.
-- Walt Whitman
SERMON: "Why I Am a Unitarian Universalist Humanist"
As we continue this sermon series on diverse belief systems within the Unitarian Universalist
construct, let's begin by considering some stereotypes - as illustrated by a couple of insects.
The ants are having a conversation about ultimate purpose, which is a very typical thing for bugs
to do, of course. Now, one of them is a theist; the other a humanist -so they are not agreeing.
Says the theist: "It is wonderful to be alive, to exist! Oh, what magnificent purpose has put me
here?"
Says the humanist: "You are here because you are anteater food!"
Now, can't you just see such a conversation among Unitarian Universalist humans? The wonderfilled theist believing in a raison d'être that lies beyond mortal understanding versus the classic
pragmatist humanist believing in the necessary continuation of nature, even if nature needs to
gobble itself up on occasion!
Well, in a previous sermon we explored how one could actually be less boxed in by such
stereotypical belief systems when it comes to understanding that one can be both a theist
(specifically a mystic) and a humanist.
This was getting to where I want us to go today, as we seek to expand the category of Unitarian
Universalism called "humanism."
Know that if we are to strictly define "theism" and "humanism" by comparing them, we come to
the realization that the former accepts the concept of a deity and the latter does not.
But to limit it to this is to not be appreciative of the vastness of interpretation of what "deity"
means. Discussing all this is not something within our purview today, but what is within our vision
today is the hope that beliefs do not divide us, but merely make all of us more interesting, each to
the other.
At the outset, then, note that about two-thirds of all Unitarian Universalists who have signed on
the dotted line of membership contentedly acknowledge some compliance to their being plopped
within a humanist framework.
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So, let us see how we Venetian heretics plop ourselves, remembering that the word "heretic"
comes from the Greek word meaning "to choose."
Please raise your hand if you apply the word "humanist" in any way to your belief system.
This is all very interesting, but please note that it is not what we say so much as what we do that
determines who we really are. We know this intuitively about ourselves and others, do we not?
So let us not get too hung by words - in regard to most anything, not just a belief system.
Still, words make a sermon and therefore we shall persevere.
Therefore, let us expand the definition of "humanism" by considering the thought of Edwin Wilson,
who was a director of the American Humanist Association and founder of the Fellowship of
Religious Humanists:
Broadly viewed, Humanism is a cultural movement with meanings and outcroppings not entirely
expressed by the adjectives that have been applied to it.... Humanism courses through many
institutions... It permeates society as a cultural happening wherever there are readers or thinkers.
It is present in many activist thrusts, without conscious formulation. It centers in the faith that (we)
can live a good life this side of the grave. It expresses the believe that (we) have potentially the
intelligence, good will and co-operative skills to... provide an opportunity for growth, adventure,
meaning and fulfillment...It is the faith that however short (our) days, beauty and joy may fill them.
Adding to Wilson's broad-based definition, we can say that the word "humanism" is a noun,
before which a plethora of adjectives can be applied.
Ones like "classical," "ethical," "scientific," "religious," "rationalist" and any front-line or less-thanknown spiritual perspective.
Why? Because the very concept of what it means to be "human" is a panoply of pleasures as well
as pains.
Nevertheless, there are some salient features of a broad-based humanism we need to decipher.
Back to Edwin Wilson.
When he uses the terms "intelligence," "explore," "adventure," "meaning," and "fulfillment" he is
stating humanism's questing point of view.
When he uses the terms "good life," "good will," "co-operative skills," "beauty," and "joy," he is
stressing the positive tone of humanism.
In summary then, a humanist is attempting to find out who s/he is and what s/he believes and
how s/he should respond to life - but who does so with an affirmative attitude.
No matter what adjective before that word "humanist" a humanist might apply to him/herself, this
general summary statement holds up.
What it implies is an understanding that we humans are works in progress; that there is ever-new
truth to discover and that our methodology, our approach, to getting on with getting on should be
of a positive and hopeful tone.
Nor should there be hesitance in moving on to the next stage of our development. In truth, none
of us is immune to change, even if we would hold on to our petty expectations. The writer Ortega
y Gasset tells us this:
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Life is fired at us point blank. We cannot say: "Hold it! I am not quite ready. Wait until I have
sorted things out."
This sense that we are forever in process is a hallmark, indeed, of Unitarian Universalism. We
have always stated the belief in the progressive nature of humanity - in our inherent need to
explore life in all its diversity. We are not a stuck people - not that we become unglued, but that
we are forever free, forever liberated to seek and to find the fullness of life. This we have inherited
from our Renaissance forbears if not back to the very moment when the first caveperson looked
up into the fierceness of a lightning storm and said "What next?"
Consider these various passages that illustrate this point.
From our hymnbook comes that marvelous song "A Fierce Unrest" (#304). Here is illustrated that
urgent need - that human necessity - to discover ultimate meaning and purpose, even if we have
to go through hell to get it (despite our attempt to live in hopeful pursuit). The last line of that
hymn speaks eloquently of this need:
Sing we no governed firmament, cold, ordered, regular; we sing the stinging discontent that leaps
from star to star.
Now, that's quite a task for anyone to take on - the challenging of preconceived notions about the
very heavens, but we humanists take up the gauntlet, knowing that we are often in the minority
and might just be thought of as reprobates, disestablishmentarians, the faithless, the
curmudgeons!
Just bring it on! Bring it on!
Yes, we are feisty!
Any of you resemble that remark in your everyday world outside of Unitarian Universalism?
Still, may we not be absorbed into negativity in our search for what is true and meaningful for us.
Therein lies the rub that some humanists do experience.
I very much appreciate Karl Menninger's helpful words on the subject:
Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of
them we can find our greatest pleasure. The continuous encounter with continually changing
conditions is the very substance of living. From an acute awareness of the surging effort we have
the periodic relief of seeing one task finished and another begun...A search for a premature
permanent "peace" seems to me a thinly disguised wish to die.
I think what Menninger is saying is that we must live life with awareness, with engagement, not to
close off from it, to shun it. And in this zest for involvement - including the necessity of facing what
problems we have - comes a fulfilling existence.
There is a true story about a minister (not this minister), who during the early days of his calling,
served a church on the coast of Maine. Among his compatriots were seasoned ship captains what you would call old "sea dogs." Sailing in all kinds of weather and conditions, they could be
called the wise men of the sea.
On the other hand, our young minister was a hugger of the shore. So, he assumed all kinds of
incorrect things about the ocean - for example that in a storm you should head to shore as a
place of safety. His oceanic betters all disagreed affirming that such a measure would destroy the
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ship on the rocks and reefs. The way to save the ship and yourself, they affirmed, is to head into
deep water and open sea and thereby ride out the storm.
That minister (and this one by application given the storms I have experienced within the ministry
and without), understand that it is exactly when times are tough that you are given the opportunity
for a big adventure - whether or not you like it!
Then it is time to go out into deep water - if not out on a limb - and face what lies before you, not
merely to be buffeted by life's winds and be dashed on to the rocks.
My friends, this humanism, and by extension this Unitarian Universalism was never meant to be a
quietistic, non-involving way of believing and acting in the world.
Nor was it meant to be a negative approach. Wilson's stress on the good qualities of humanism
comes back to us.
Humanism states that "yes" we can have a better life in the here and now - and "yes" we can help
create it for others. And "yes" we can do all this with a spirit of joy, not cynicism.
A prime component of this belief is the trust we have in knowledge and reason.
Thomas Jefferson had this faith that each of us could reach such a prosperous place:
Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with
boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one, he must more approve of the
homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
This desire to know ever more is certainly illustrated in our desire as a free-faith people to have
what has historically been called a "learned clergy" and a "learned people." This is that strong
humanist need to expect a decent conversation with others - even if it is a cocktail party!
I love the image of that French essayist Montaigne who spent the first forty years of his life in a
decided quest to discover the truth - the whole truth - before he was forty. He was just so very
earnest about it.
But he gave up that expectation when he saw that well, life is just so complex isn't it? And so he
put a medal around his neck that read: "What do I know?" Now rather than this being a negative
statement for him, it was one of hope and excitement. It meant for him that the quest for
understanding and meaning and purpose never ends- and that is a grand and positive thing!
This brings me to my own personal statement of theology. I discovered a wonderful word that I
have borrowed from the Catholics - or at least from Latin which the Catholics use on occasion.
The word is "fideism" and it helps me articulate what I believe when it comes to my embracing
humanism. Here is a very short selection from this very weighty statement of mine:
My agnosticism tells me that I do not know anything about ultimate reality and am allowed,
therefore, to ask questions in an effort to discover possible answers. My fideism supports my
desire to be unsatisfied with mere questions and affirms my wish to have faith that ultimate reality
might not be a chimera, even if I don't have verifiable answers. Being an agnostic fideist means
that I am a doubter with hope - a person of questions and faith.
My humanism tells me...of the intricacies of being human...(it) moves me beyond generalizations,
creeds, and pronouncements...
My universalism suggests that despite the parochialisms of place and time, humankind has often
stood in mystery, awe, and wonder at the unknowable...
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Indeed, my faith, my fideism is my haven place. Here is where I find my theological refuge.
Saying all this, I repeat that having come to these conclusions about what I believe I am in a very
affirmative place. It is not that life is always peaceful, free of conflict, free of negative things, but
that my wish is to act in a positive spirit, with one of hope - even if there does not seem to be any
hope.
What all this is grounded on is that staunch humanistic attitude that says, heck, it's a fact that we
are here in the first place and is it not a wonder; and should we refuse the good things that come
our way?
Stay positive, despite it all. Don't let your critical intelligence get in the way of having a satisfying
life. Don't be absorbed in your cynicism - don't let Nietzsche's "Everlasting No" be your particular
motto.
So might we follow the advice from one of the greatest tragedies ever written - "Antigone" by
Sophocles. Despite all the horrors of that story, the playwright can still affirm:
Many are the wonders of the world/and none so wonderful as Man.
So might we heed Shakespeare who has his Hamlet, that quintessential tragic hero, affirm:
What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form and moving,
how express and admirable! In action how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god! The
beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
Indeed, it is all about a positive attitude - despite the tragedies that beset us. There is joie de
vivre, love of being alive in the first place.
The French writer Colette says it well upon her election to the Belgian Academy in 1936:
I became a writer without noticing the fact and without anyone else's suspecting it...You must not
pity me because my sixtieth year finds me still astonished. To be astonished is one of the surest
ways of not growing old too quickly.
So, why I am a Unitarian Universalist humanist is because like the rest of you who are, I am
seeking to find meaning and purpose in my life and I attempt, to the best of my ability, to do so
within a framework of astonishment.
And although our bodies are growing older with each passing instant, I trust our minds are forever
young, forever hopeful.
CLOSING READING: "Steady Radiance"
God does not die on the day when we cease to believe in a personal deity, but we die on the day
when our lives cease to be illumined by the steady radiance, renewed daily, of a wonder, the
source of which is beyond all reason. -- Dag Hammarskjold
THE SELF: WHO ARE YOU, REALLY? (BRAIN SCIENCE 101)
Rev. Don Beaudreault
Unitarian Universalist Church
Sarasota, FL
July 21, 2013
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OPENING WORDS: from “The God Spot: Spirituality and the Brain”
So do our religious experiences come from our brains? Or do they come from a divine
spirit? I have no idea. I do know that as humans, we are biologically wired to connect, and we are
driven to make meaning, and we do those things with and without a belief in God. We find hope in
the midst of tragedies. We offer compassion when we encounter suffering. We give everything we
have for those we love, and sometimes even for those we don’t know. We lay down our lives for
ideals that we believe to be true and good. We create life and art. We join together to work for a
just world. Some of us look to God for the strength and inspiration to do these things, and some
of us don’t. As long as we are healing the world, does it matter?
Rev. Dr. Bonnie Dlott, UU Minister
READING: “I Statementsabout My Self”
I finished writing a book. It’s all about me, even if I made most of it up.
I attended my 50th high school reunion in Washington, D.C. this past July. I went to find out who I
was. I didn’t find me. I just found some old man!
I’m having tests to see what’s going on with my heart. Some people think I don’t have one.
During my life I have worked, worried, studied, paid bills, propagated, had fun, and tried to figure
things out. It was all about me. And the tax collector.
I have always enjoyed playing the piano, enjoying it most when I am the only one in the room.
When I look at a group photo that I am in, I first look for you-know-who.
I enjoy expressing my individuality. Along with 500 hundred people, I once threw an egg at
Richard Nixon and hit his bubble-top car. He gave me a dirty look. I was so happy!
I do not like to fly because I’m not in control, except in my head. And that can be very dangerous
to the other passengers.
I would have loved impregnating myself and giving birth. But I only could stand there and watch
my daughters being born...I nearly passed out.
I envy my dog’s lying around the house, begging to be scratched. But I do not want to be a dog.
When I am reincarnated, I will be born retired so that I can lie around the house and beg to be
scratched.
I am sad when others die, but I’m glad it wasn’t my turn. Yet.
SERMON: “The Self: Who Are You Really?”
In the early 1970’s, during what was called the “Human Potential Movement,” I lived in
Berkeley, CA and was trying to discover my human potential i.e., I was exploring my “self.” My
self in relationship to my self; but also my self in relationship to your self, or whoever’s self
happened to be lounging around at the time.
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Ah! Those were truly the halcyon days of yore! Free Love! Free Clinics! Free Tickets to
Viet Nam!
It was no big deal, therefore, when, during a class at Starr King Seminary (one of our
Unitarian Universalist schools), we were asked to pair up with somebody we didn’t know well.
“Now,” said the instructor, “for the rest of the hour, I want you to take turns with your
partner as you ask and then answer three questions. But remember, ask each of the three
questions three times, allowing your partner to answer each time. And hopefully with the
repetition of each question, more depth will be revealed. The three questions are:
What are you?
What are you?
What are you?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Who are you?
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Well, I don’t remember what my answers were to any of those questions, although they
all seemed highly significant at the time! But, I still remember the questions. I especially
resonatedand still dowith the middle query:
Who are you?
And it is a question I want to present to you today, over 40 years after I got a bad cramp
by sitting on that West Coast floor for too long in an attempt to find “depth.”
So, this morning I present you with a question, but also some possiblecertainly not
definitiveanswers.
Now, consider the fact that in 1972, the terms “neuroscience” or “brain science” were not
normally uttered in Berkeleyor as some of us call it: “Beserkeley.” No such conversations in that
west-coast version of the “halls of ivy” where cocktail and/or marijuana parties were de rigueur.
Virtually, none of us back then escaped Timothy Leary’s communal manifesto:
Turn on, tune in, and drop out!
Presumably, this chemically-induced modus operandi was merely another way to
discover “self,” although some of us lost our “self” because of such escapades.
But I digress…
The Society for Neuroscience had just been established in 1969, so studying the neurons
in the brain to see how they might tell us who we arewho our “self” might bewas not yet a hot
and trendy thing to do the way it is today.
Had we seminarians and others had neuroscience in our hip pocketas a tool to
understanding our self in relationship to religion (among other mysteries of human existence), we
would have known what we later learned: that a belief in God is actually hard-wired into the
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human brain. History indicates this, given all the various cultures through time that have turned to
some concept of a deity in order to find solace.
But, it was only recently that science has learned through studying genetics and
neurology that there really is a “religious”or more appropriately, a “spiritual” gene (since
“religious” denotes a specific practice and organization that has been created from one’s
environment, whereas “spiritual” is a broader, more inclusive term). This “spiritual” gene, then, is
one which seeks meaning and purpose for one’s self and for the selves of others.
Truly, the molecular biologist Gene Hamer was able to isolate the gene that makes us
more likely to be spiritual. His book The God Gene: How Faith is Hardwired into our Genes”
explains this.
So, even if we pot-smoking, cocktail sipping seminarians in 1972 didn’t realize that, in
common, our brains were wired to be “spiritual”thus bringing us together to seek
enlightenmentBeserkeley Human Potential stylethey were.
Nor should we fail to realize that each of us was influencing each other’s sense of self,
simply by being with one anotherspiritual seekers all looking for self.
But then, there really is no “self”per se!
The idea that there is, is just thatis only an idea. You don’t have a self, nor do
Ialthough we grandiose beings think we do. Although philosophers and theologians and
advertisers say that we do.
But all that is an illusion.
A very interesting book on this subject is called The Self IllusionHow the Social Brain
Creates Identity by Bruce Hood. An example of how we think we have a self can be illustrated in
a little meditational exercise he asks us to do, which I now ask you to do.
So, get comfortable and stop internally debating what I have said so far. Just relax and
close your eyes.
Now, see in your mind’s eye (if you will) where your conscious self might live. Hopefully,
you will not see it residing in your big toe.
Listen to Bruce Hood who leads us in this exercise:
With both hands, point with your index fingers to the sides of your head where you think
your inner self is currently located. When both fingers are pointing to where you think you are
having experience at this very moment in time inside your head, keep one finger pointing (to the
side of your head) and with the other hand point to this same place from the front of your head, so
that you can accurately triangulate the site of your consciousness. Now, draw the imaginary lines
to find the intersection where “X” marks the spot.
You have just located your own “point zero”where the “you” inside your head sits…
Let me give you a few more seconds to do this exercise…
Okay, you may open your eyes,
Well, for most of us who followed the directions, we (that is our “self”) exists inside our
head, specifically somewhere behind our eyes. Here is the place, we believe, from whence
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springs our thoughtspregnant with meaning or quite trivial; it is the place, too, where we decide
how to control our bodily actions.
This internal self even has a name: homunculus or little man (or little woman, if you
prefer). Anyhow, there’s this little “Mini-Me” who directs youyour self, or what you think of as
your self, although there really isn’t one…or is there?
Let me confuse your further.
Historically there have been two main versions to describe the idea of self. One of
them posits an ego. This theory is sometimes referred to as the “pearl theory.”
This is what most of us (who have not read anything about neuroscience-people like
Sigmund Freud) still believe. That is to say, that there is an essential entity at the very center of
our existence. Believing this, we believe that we are somehow conscious and thinking individuals
with specific histories: i.e., experiences, thoughts, feelings.
It is, indeed, what our very first Unitarian Universalist principle heralds when it so nobly
announces that we “affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person.”
Hurrahall good, and as I already said, “noble.”
But what does this mean? What does personhood mean? Who are youreally? Who is
your “self”?
Are you the list of your accomplishments? Or what others say about you? What will they
say about you in your obituary? At your memorial service? At the family dinner table, 25 years
after you have died? What “I” statements would you make about yourself? What is the “story” that
your ego, your homunculus keeps spinning inside your head?
Truly, who do you think you are?
And what about every thought, conclusion, assumption, belief, and lesson you’ve ever
had? Have they all created the “I” inside you? Have your memories?
Let me come back to that last question in a minute.
Before we do that, let us consider the second major concept of self: The Spindle
Theory, referring to all those cells that comprise our brain.
“Who Are YouReally?” Here are some of the basic things we know about the brain:
It is a lump! One that weighs three poundswith the male brain weighing in a little
heavier, around 3.57 ounces heavier. This does not mean that men are smarter than women.
Now, all this doesn’t seem to amount to much when we consider the fact that there are
mega-universes out theresomewhere. But consider this fact: the human brain is larger than any
other animal brain in relation to body size. It is three times larger than a chimpanzee’s, so maybe
most of us are not monkeys after all! Why our brains are so large is because of our cerebral
cortex (the outer layer of the brain, especially our frontal lobes) that controls our reasoning, selfcontrol and abstract thinking.
And think about this: there are 170 billion cells in the brain! All stuffed up there between
our ears. What a “spindle” indeed! Amazing! And think further: 86-100 billion of these cells are
neurons (nerves) that get information from our senses, control our movements, and (to repeat
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myself) store information and produce higher thought. This latter category has the largest number
of neurons.
So these neurons communicate with each other by sending electrochemical signals
through connecting fibers. How all of this is accomplished is basically a mystery. We know we
have these brain cells, we know they accomplish all these things, but we really do not know how
it all happens.
Now, consider that little question of whether or not our memories help us create a real
sense of “self” (ego-wise).
Well, the way most of us think about how we remember things, is not how it really works
when we look at brain functioning. For instance, we might believe that whatever experience we
have, our brain records it like a videoand stores it and that we can merely retrieve it and play it
back, thus having the same exact experience (only virtually, so to speak). That is what our big,
fat, prideful ego tells us.
Well, that is not what really happens. Our memories are stored, more or less, but once
they become part of our memory system, they are merely placed on top of…well…our brain’s
compost heap. One memory after another is laid on the previous one, so that when we are really
trying to get to those early memories e.g., to relive that seventh birthday party of ours, we can’t
really remember it the way it happened. Too much has happened to us since; too many
memories after seven. Heck, even if we just had our seventh birthday party a couple days ago,
our memories of it would not replicate what really happened.
Another way of thinking about this is to consider the question: Have you ever seen
yourself in a video? Is that really how you remember what was happening when you tried to
remember the event without the benefit of a video?
In other words, we all are fantastic fiction writers (even if we think that we are different
from the rest of pitiable humanity).
We do know, however, that when parts of the brain are not functioning properly, the
person’s sense of self the self s/he has been developing throughout lifechanges. And this is
such a tragic dimension of the human condition, for all concernedas some of you know so well
concerning your loved ones, or perhaps concerning yourself.
For instance, we have a right side to our brain which controls our cognitive (or thinking)
skills and a left side which controls language.
But sometimes there is damage to the brain which makes it impossible for the right and
left sides to work with each other. And when that happens, the sense of self is very different from
what it was before such damage. It is sometimes as if there are two selves (at least).
In his marvelous book Proust was a Neuroscientist, Jonah Lehrer describes what
happens when the thin bridge of nervous tissue that connects the brain’s two hemispheres (the
“corpus callosum”) is severed. Such a brain is really a “split brain.” The hemispheres are now
separate and aren’t communicating with each other. Lehrer says this:
And while the corpus callosum lets each of us believe in his or her singularity, every I is
really plural. Split-brain patients are living proof of our many different minds. When the corpus
callosum is cut, the multiple selves are suddenly free to be themselves. The brain stops
suppressing its internal inconsistencies. One patient reading a book with his left hemisphere
found that his right hemisphere, being illiterate, was extremely bored by the letters on the page.
The right hemisphere commanded the left hand to throw the book away. Another patient put on
his clothes with his left hand while his right hand busily took them off…
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But why are we normally unaware of this cortical conflict? Why does the self feel whole
when it is really broken?
The answer to that, according to Lehrer is:
…consciousness emerged from the murmurings of the whole brain and not from just one
of its innumerable parts…we invented the self in order to ignore our innate contradictions. (pp.
178-180)
Incredible statement, that last one. Especially taken out of context: we invented the self in
order to ignore our innate contradictions.
Oh, yes, we are such contradictory beings, and sometimes we feel so guilty and/or
confused about it. We are good; no, we are bad. We are worthy; no we are unworthy. We tell the
truth; no we lie. We always do our best; no, we don’t. We love everybody; yeah, right!
Who Are YouReally?
At times in my attempting to answer that question for myself, I come to that statement
some anonymous wag made about the brain:
I finally discovered what was wrong with my brain. On the left side there is nothing right;
and on the right side there is nothing left.
The novelist Virginia Woolf (a kind of Unitarian), pondered such things in her own way in
regard to all this in her essay “Street Haunting.”
Am I here, or am I there? Or is the true self neither this nor that but something so varied
and wandering that it is only when we give rein to its wishes and let it take its way unimpeded that
we are indeed ourselves?
Saying all this, let us end on that mysterious note, knowing that the question “Who Are
YouReally?” is neither this nor that, maybe both, maybe neither, more or less than what we
know or think we knowthat is to say, it is bit of a mystery and more of a mystery than we will
ever knowperhaps!
But just imagine! With only those three pounds of “stuff” that we call our “brains,” we
humans have created all of human existence: everything we have known, experienced, and
imagined from the beginning of timeas we know it!
So, although our brain is merely a lump, let us sing its praises and wonder what it’s all
about.
Who Are YouReally?
CLOSING WORDS: “More I Statementsabout Others”
I used to be a perfectionist, but now I’m trying to improve.
If you are what you eat, eat a vegetarian.
I never make predictions. I never have and I never will. (Tony Blair)
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Don’t procrastinate. Put it off now.
Repeat after me: We are all individuals. (Brian from Monty Python’s Life of Brian)
A man’s response upon seeing the ocean for the first time: “It’s not as big as I thought it would
be.”
The last time I was here…well, it’s not the last time, this is. But I hope it isn’t. (Victor Borge)
WHITHER IS FLED THE VISIONARY GLEAM? (ECONOMIC JUSTICE)
Rev. Don Beaudreault
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Venice, FL
3-21-10
OPENING WORDS: “Community”
Community. Somewhere, there are people to whom we can speak with passion without
having the words catch in our throats. Somewhere a circle of hands will open to receive us, eyes
will light up as we enter, voices will celebrate with us whenever we come into our own power.
Community means strength that joins our strength to do the work that needs to be done. Arms to
hold us when we falter. A circle of healing. A circle of friends. Someplace where we can be free.
Starhawk
MEDITATION: from “What Are People For?”
I was walking one Sunday afternoon several years ago with an older friend. We went by
the ruining log house that had belonged to his grandparents and great-grandparents. The house
stirred my friend’s memory, and he told how the old-time people used to visit each other in the
evenings, especially in the long evenings of winter. There used to be a sort of institution in our
part of the country known as “sitting till bedtime.” After supper, when they weren’t too tired,
neighbors would walk across the field to visit each other. They popped corn, my friend said and
ate apples and talked. The told each other stories. They told each other stories, as I knew myself,
that they all had heard before. Sometimes they told stories about each other, about themselves,
living again in their own memories and thus keeping their memories alive. Among the hearers of
these stories were always the children. When bedtime came, the visitors lit their lanterns and
went home. My friend talked about this, and thought about it, and then he said, “They had
everything but money.”
They were poor, as country people have often been, but they had each other, they had
their local economy in which they helped each other, they had each other’s comfort when they
needed it, and they had their stories, their history together in that place.
Wendell Berry
SERMON: “Whither Is Fled the Visionary Gleam?”
The Dilemma: Past and Present
That Unitarian Universalist Dickens says in his opening to A Tale of Two Cities:
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the
age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of
Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we
had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were
all going direct the other way.
The novel was published in that momentous year of 1859 – the year that Darwin’s The
Origin of Species was published, the work that would usher in a new era of scientific study – and
which still is being debated today.
Truly, the Dickensian world view was a prescient one for us in 2010 America, although I
dare say that the majority of us must choose “the worst of times” instead of the “the best of times”
when it comes to the state of this country’s economy and the world’s economy (since they really
cannot be separated). Nor can our personal economies be separated from the general scheme of
things.
Then there is the sentiment of that Romantic, that quasi Unitarian Universalist William
Wordsworth – viewing as he did the encroachment of the Industrialized Age in England – when
he wrote in his famous “Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood” in
1803-1806:
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Speaking of the loss of childhood innocence, the poet’s underlying message is the loss of
society’s innocence when it makes the individual a mere cog in the machinery of industry.
Which brings us to today and to the question that Wordsworth asked.
Truly, where is that vision we once had?
And for our purposes this morning, we ask: Where are “economic justice” and all the
aspects associated with it? For once you feel the injustices of the system concerning your wallet,
you might very lose a sense of self and a sense of community; a sense of trust; of loyalty; of
connection to the world around you.
Where is that “community” that Starhawk spoke of in our Opening Reading? Where is
that “circle of hands (that) will open to receive us”?
And what happened to the kind of beloved community and the sense of self and place to
which Wendell Berry refers in our Meditation Reading? Where are the stories we used to tell each
other to affirm our existence?
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Defining Terms
Let us attempt to define our terms: What is “economic justice”?
Let us first talk about “justice” using the reasoning propounded by the Center for
Economic and Social Justice, an organization that describes itself as a “non-profit educational
center, think tank and social action catalyst” based in Washington, D.C.
Says CESJ:
One definition of justice is “giving to each what he or she is due.” The problem is knowing
what is “due.”
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Functionally, “justice” is a set of universal principles which guide people in judging what is
right and what is wrong, no matter what culture and society they live in…(these principles) help
individuals to develop fully their human potentials, thus enabling them to serve their own selfinterests as well as work in harmony with others for their common good. The ultimate purpose…is
to elevate the dignity and sovereignty of the human person.
And in reference to “economic justice” and how economic institutions touch the individual
the CESJ tells us:
These institutions determine how each person earns a living, enters into contracts,
exchanges goods and services with others and otherwise produces an independent material
foundation for his or her economic sustenance. The ultimate purpose of economic justice is to
free each person to engage creatively in the unlimited work beyond economics, that of the mind
and the spirit.
The Social Contract
Historically, these ideas reflect what is called “The Social Contract.” This is an
agreement by which human beings gave up the state of nature to create a society in which to live
equitably. The British philosophers Thomas Hobbes and John Locke assumed that humanity led
a society-less existence – with no rules or agreements as to a code of conduct.
Today’s sociologists would, of course, debate this!
At any rate, The Social Contract became the basis for the advocacy of popular
sovereignty, initially the concept that the monarch or government must reflect the will of the
people.
The French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau said as much and became specific in
relationship to the “reciprocal rights and duties, privileges, and responsibilities as a basis of the
state.”(Compton Encyclopedia)
The French and American Revolutions followed with these things in mind.
Thomas Jefferson, another Unitarian Universalist, “held that the preservation of certain
natural rights was an essential part of the social contract, and that consent of the governed was
fundamental to any exercise of governmental power.” (Ibid)
A concept associated with the theory of The Social Contract is “noblesse oblige.”
The term implies that with power, prestige and wealth come obligations to those who do
not have such things. It is, in effect, a principle of Moral Economy – or Economic Justice (when
the wealth is spread around).
It can be illustrated in the Gospel of Luke (12:14) when Jesus affirms:
For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men
have committed much, of him they will ask the more.
And, in one of my more interesting juxtaposing of sermon material ever conceived, let me
add an addendum to this biblical precept by stating the words of the Marvel Comics character
Spider Man who opined:
With great power comes great responsibility.
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Furthermore, noblesse oblige includes the belief that the so-called “elite” should illustrate
standards of decency, that is to say, of moral behavior.
Well, what about today? Today we must ask: Where is that Social Contract, where is that
sense of noblesse oblige in connection with corporate America, and the U.S. Congress, or with
the very rich or even those of us who have some expendable income?
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Today’s Reality
Endorsed by the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee, the book The Big Squeeze by
Steven Greenhouse paints a startling picture of today’s America in relationship to Economic
Justice:
The squeeze on the American worker has meant more poverty, more income inequality,
more family tensions, more hours at work, more time away from the kids, more families without
health insurance, more retirees with inadequate pensions, and more demands on government
and taxpayers to provide housing assistance and health coverage. Twenty percent of families
with children under six live below the poverty line, and 22 million full-time workers do not have
health insurance. Largely as a result of the squeeze, the number of housing foreclosures and
personal bankruptcies more than tripled in the quarter century after 1979. Economic studies show
that income inequality in the United States is so great that it more closely resembles the
inequality of a third world country than that of an advanced industrial nation. (p. 5)
Truly, the American worker (when she or he can find employment) works longer hours
than most workers in the world: 1,804 hours in a year. Brits work 135 fewer hours per year than
we do, the French 240 fewer hours, the Germans 370 fewer hours (nine full-time weeks).
So many in our nation cannot make ends meet, despite the hard work they do. So many
are in debt, so many are working so many hours that they are not being paid for, so many cannot
afford to retire, so many have lost their pensions, their health insurance, their jobs, their
unemployment benefits.
California is the hardest hit when it comes to unemployment – in some areas there is a
20% unemployment rate. Florida is the second hardest hit. This past year is the first year in our
state’s history, when we actually lost population.
And consider this:
Corporate profits have climbed to their highest share of national income in sixty-four
years, while the share going to wages has sunk to its lowest level since 1929. (ibid p. 9)
The quality of the American life-style has diminished. The sense of self and the sense of
community have been lost to the corporate world, to the world of standardization, to the world of
competition.
Just consider the tone evidenced by the titles of books which analyze today’s economic
situation (ibid, p. 104-05)
Mean Business
Lean and Mean
The New Ruthless Economy
White-Collar Sweatshop
The Disposable American
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War on the Middle Class
Only the Paranoid Survive
We are not relating to each other the way we once did in this country – we are not telling
our stories; we have become anonymous to each other.
What kind of present reality is this? And even more telling is the question: What kind of
future will there be?
Reasons for Our Dilemma
Steven Greenhouse gives us a good thumbnail sketch of what got us into the economic
mess we find ourselves in. Let me point out some of his arguments stemming from the 1970’s
and continuing to the present.
There was the Arab oil embargo of 1973, followed by a deep recession in 1974-75. More
oil shocks in 1979 (remember those long lines at the gas pumps)? Pressure from imports started
around this time – apparel, shoes, radios, steel, and cars.
Still during this time most companies had commitment to maintaining the security of their
employees.
Then came the 1980’s.
More imports – especially steel and automobiles; the recession of 1981-82; deregulation:
in trucking, airlines and telecommunications; Regan’s firing of 11,500 air traffic controllers after
they went on strike in 1981 – allowing corporations to take a much harder stand against their
workers.
The 1990’s brought downsizing, the weakening of labor unions, the hiring of non-union
workers, the high-tech revolution causing the loss of countless jobs (this is called “reengineering,”
hiring overseas workers (a news report about IBM stated: “Even as it proceeds with layoffs of up
to 13,000 workers in Europe and the United States, IBM plans to increase its payroll in India this
year by more than 14,000 workers.)
To quote Greenhouse:
Globalization’s powerful hand can be seen in the enormous loss of manufacturing jobs in
recent years – from 17.3 million in 2000 to 13.7 million in early 2008, a loss of one in five factory
jobs.(ibid, p.94)
And as Greenhouse puts it further:
Everything starts at the top in business, but as it works its way down it reveals its human
face. As we have seen, managers fire people to make budgets, pressure employees to work
without pay, cheat workers by manipulating data on computers, and punish people for taking fully
justified days off. These are not isolated incidents but a way of life for millions of American
workers. The pressure for maximum profit leaves a wide range of abuse in its wake. (ibid, p.103)
Again we must ask:
Whither is fled the visionary gleam?
Possible Solutions
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Well, some of us still believe in the power of the individual and the power of individuals in
community to make a difference in the world.
Our Unitarian Universalist Service Committee has been making that difference around
the world for over sixty years. One of the ways it has been doing this these days is to strengthen
labor protections and build movements for workers’ rights – both in this country and others (today,
notably in areas of the world as diverse as Kenya and Arkansas).
In this regard, note that at present about 70 percent of the world’s economy is made up of
workers – 2 billion people – who make contributions to local and national economies, but receive
no social protection under labor laws: no health care, workers’ compensation, annual wage
increases, severance pay, paid vacation or sick days.
And specifically in our country there is a movement among people of various faiths to
lobby Congress to increase the minimum wage in the United States. (Note how you might be part
of this effort. Read reading the list of things you can do which we have handed out to you today.)
In this letter to the 111th Congress it is pointed out that between September 1997 and
July 2007 we had the longest period in history without a raise in the minimum wage. As the letter
says:
Adjusting for inflation, the scheduled raise to $7.25 in July 2009 will leave workers about
where they were in 1997 and far behind 1968, when the minimum wage reached its peak value of
about $10 in 2008 dollars.
The letter also points out that with the erosion of the minimum wage there has been an
increase in inequality between the rich and the poor – so that the richest 1 percent in our country
have a larger share of our nation’s wealth than any years since 1928.
Therefore, the letter is asking for the minimum wage in 2010 to be increased to $10 per
hour: “$10 in 2010” is the name of the campaign for this aspect of Economic Justice.
Finally, let us consider what we might do to help increase economic justice.
Unitarian Universalist Doug Muder has written an article in the current UU
WORLD (online) in which he describes how we might consider what we purchase–
how we might be in touch with the human beings who make the items:
I tried to imagine what the mall would look like if the global economy had
not so totally separated products from the processes that make them. What if a
store was just a counter in front of a workshop, as it would have been in a
Medieval town? Behind one counter I might see contented adults operating their
equipment in safety and comfort. Behind another, runaway peasant girls might be
virtual prisoners, breathing in toxins while they fed material into dangerous and
poorly maintained machines. In each store, I would be confronted not just with a
product and a price, but with a process. Not just “Do I want this?” but “Do I want
to be part of this?”
Muder goes on to talk about the care we must take in how we invest our
money – are we dealing with companies that consider the humanity of others?
In the light of this thought, let me conclude my sermon with the words of
Adam Smith who wrote in his The Wealth of Nations (1776):
It is but equity…that those who feed, clothe and lodge the whole body of the
people, should have such a share of the produce of their own labor as to be
themselves tolerably well fed, clothed and lodged.
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My friends, let us commit to upholding the principle of justice that we as
Unitarian Universalists have made a cornerstone of our faith, and might we do so
here and now.
CLOSING WORDS: “The new survival unit…” and “Our lives extend…”
The new survival unit is no longer the individual nation; it’s the entire human race and its
environment. This newfound oneness is only a rediscovery of an ancient religious truth. Unity is
not something we are called to create; it’s something we are called to recognize.
William Sloane Coffin
Our lives extend beyond our skins, in radical interdependence with the rest of the world.
Joanna Macy
SELECTION OF MY NEWSLETTER ARTICLES
Tapestry
Out of the strands of our lives we make a tapestry –
Places, times, people, events;
We weave a common cloth.
Out of soft memories and rough realities
We stitch each thread.
A pattern emerges
In this place and time,
With these people and events.
We bring forth our wounds
For all to share;
We seek perspective,
Wanting not to be alone.
We claim our joys and our foolishness,
Our cruelty and charity;
The birthright of every human: to make mistakes;
To triumph.
Our tapestry is a nurturing cloth,
Created from our daring to be who we are.
It is pure spirituality,
Cloaking us in love, each for the other.
So may our bond continue;
May the relationships we’ve discovered progress.
Weaving this connection called
“Tapestry.”
A Liberal Cleric/Jazz Pianist
Muses About the Mid-Winter Holiday Season
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So, we are nearing the wintry “holiday season” – an all-inclusive term that can be rich and/or
confusing to one and all! Happy Holidays! To add to this complexity, we live in Florida and are
Unitarian Universalists where, even in our hymnbook we sing about hoary frost and waning light.
Blame that on the self-appointed theological “hub of the universe”: Bostonian Unitarian
Universalism (more Unitarian than Universalism, actually). In that hallowed environ it sleets,
slushes and snows. So any hymn from anywhere (19 th century England is a big hit) that
rhapsodizes about wet stuff and darkling places is a virtual rhapsody for Yankee UUs. What a
love affair they have with images of polar frigidity and atmospheric bitterness – with here and
there a hopeful glimpse into a springtime shot of greenery.
The particular musicologists who assumed musical knowledge that purported to be indicative of
the UU wintry holiday way loved those images, too, so they stuffed them into a book of 415
hymns seventeen years ago.
A book of mostly un-singable hymns with geographic assumptions.
Now, those of us now-Floridians who came from “up there” (except for the smattering of you who
came to Florida from “down there”) might very well like to remember our “other lives” presunshine and fire ants. Lives that could, in fact, have been tinged with other religious stirrings
beyond the free faith with which we now self-identify. So go ahead, sing forth lustily with:
In the lonely midnight, on the wintry hill, shepherds heard the angels singing, “Peace, good will.”
(Hymn #242)
So, we could argue even if you are not a Christian-based UU but a Jewish, Zoroastrian, Buddhist,
Jainist, Muslim, Taoist, Hindu, Questioning, Non-religious one – you get my “drift” – to go with the
archetype of peace coming to one and all, even to those presumably freezing Jewish shepherds
who were minding their sheep at midnight (you would have thought that both the flock watchers
and the flock would have been sleeping). Oh poesy, how you allow us to fantasize, to free
associate – the same for Unitarian Universalism as we “image” our beliefs!
Still, I for one, would like a bit more variety in our wintry holiday season’s musical selections –
like a non-descript Higher Power appearing to me, the agnostic “shepherd” of a most theologically
diverse flock, as I lie on the sands of Venice Beach on a warm winter’s mid-day imbibing a pina
colada. Perhaps what we Floridians need to recognize our own identity sans Boston, is our
Florida poet laureate Edmund Skellings’ words set to a Beach Boys tune proclaiming that life is
just plain “cool” even if a blizzard refuses to blow our way this holiday season.
In truth, we Unitarian Universalists can sing anything we want (or sing nothing at all) as we
celebrate these mid-winter festivities.
And isn’t that freedom grand?
Happy Holidays to you all – with or without slush.
New Member Recognition Ceremony
“What Have You Joined, New Member?”
What have you joined, New Member?
You have joined an organization where the answers are sometimes the questions.
Where you come up with your own conclusions and must take responsibility for your own actions.
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Where you are invited to be a self-starter, not coerced into being a pampered follower.
Where you can disagree with the person seating next to you or the minister – and still love them.
Where you are expected to be inconsistent at times, because that’s the way life really is.
Where you are allowed to go easy on yourself and others, knowing that the human condition is far
from perfect.
Where you are honored for being the person you are, as well as the person you are developing
into.
Where if you see a need which you think should be filled, you are encouraged to fill it.
Where you are part of a family of people with few pretensions about its class, culture, creed, color
or condition.
Where what is in your heart is more important than what is in your resume or checkbook.
Where you were a Unitarian Universalist even before you walked through our doors; no one had
to convert you.
It isn’t easy being a member of this church, this association. Freedom never is. Ours is not a
catechism of belief but a calling toward understanding. Ours is not a list of rules but a suggestion
box. Ours is not an assembly of sinners but a community of seekers. Ours is not a club of selfsatisfied clones, but a family of sensitive individualists.
If you think you are ready to join a movement of people like this, we are ready for you! We
welcome you, and hope that yours will be a life-long commitment.
Angels Among Us
I believe that there are angels among us all the time, especially at Christmas. But what
exactly is an angel? Here is how I suggest we can tell if we bump into one:
Angels deny they are angels. They don’t all have wings or halos or smiles – those are only the
ones who like to dress up. Angels don’t expect anything in return for services rendered. They
don’t always tell us what we want to hear.
Oh, yes, every once in a while, we think we hear their voice; and every once in a while,
we think we see them!
Angels aren’t all called Michael or Gabriel.
We might even be angels and not realize it.
Yes, angels are here among us - giving us gifts beyond measure. Gifts of humor when
we think the sun will never shine again; passion when we believe we are unlovable; inspiration
when our life force wanes; confidentiality when we can’t tell anyone else our secrets; forgiveness
when we so sorely need it; advice when we don’t know which direction to turn; frankness when
we try to tell less than the truth about who we really are; and the gift of just being there when we
are so very alone.
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You see, the angels are people who care about us. This is their message as they sing
over the Bethlehem infant, hover at the bedsides of those who suffer greatly, walk hand-in-hand
with those whose lives this year have been very tough, and who are there as a source of strength
and understanding when life doesn’t seem to make any sense.
Yes, angels are real, and they can bring Christmas to us every day of the year if only we
let them into our lives.
Truly, the angels are among us!
Immortality?
How, indeed, might we achieve immortality?
By living a good, productive, creative, and wholesome life, rather than worrying about how we will
be remembered; or worrying about what happens to us after we die.
By living with humility of spirit – one that stretches beyond our ego needs, and urges us to
cooperate with others.
By living with the understanding that we are a part of nature and as such, are subject to the rules
of the natural order.
By living for a purpose beyond materialistic acquisition; one that includes gaining knowledge,
experience – and hopefully wisdom.
By living with the understanding that we must pass on to others the lessons that we have learned;
that we must safeguard the future for the generations to come.
By living in this way, we will be remembered.
My Vision for the 21st Century Congregation
As we enter the 21st Century may we do so with a sense of wonder and respect for the
very fact that we have lived to see the dawning of a new age. And with joy at having discovered
the ever-progressive nature of a free religious society, may we as Unitarian Universalists of the
next century honor the sound traditions of our faith, blending those with relevant present and
future practices. Among these I would hope we include:
The foundational truth that as one human family on the only planet we can call home we
need to move beyond the strictures of categories of creed, culture, color, class, age, physical
ability, education, sexual orientation, emotional status or lifestyle, and embrace the truth that
none of us is perfect, that none of us is without need; that each of us can do at least something to
“happify” the existence of another (to use the term of that great social activist Unitarian minister of
the 19th century, Theodore Parker) and in doing so realize that we enrich ourselves as well.
The exquisite possibility that we as a people of reason and good intent will use our
mental capability and our listening heart to help those social causes crying out for rectification:
economic injustice, child abuse, gender inequality, the specter of innumerable contagious
diseases, famine, the decimation of our natural resources, the burgeoning world population,
ignorance and war.
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The prospect that we as human beings will begin to communicate with each other in
ways beyond superficiality – those ways which now limit us from knowing who we really are. May
we learn to truly listen and hear what the other person is trying to say to us; may we move
beyond the assumptions that we always have the right answer and the other person is always
wrong; may we be strong enough to admit our weakness; and may we feel honored that we have
gained some wisdom and desire to share it.
The need to leave behind the age-worn, hierarchical concept that we are a singular
species on the planet and that as such we are the ones in charge. May we ever imagine our
beautiful blue planet seen from space as it reflects the sun and know that we are not home alone
but a part of the interdependent life form with which we share a small space in this infinitesimal
existence. In realizing this, may we ever be humbled by the grandeur of it all.
And may we know that at the heart of all these other wishes for the next century is the
one, which speaks of a bounty of love and prosperity for each and every person and thing on our
planet. As we move into further advances in science and technology, may we not lose sight of
that which makes us more than merely objective, calculable beings: the human heart, which
desires to fill itself with people and things for which to be passionate; which seeks deep reasons
for being alive in the first place.
These are but some of my wishes for you at this momentous time. Happy new century
and happy holidays to us all.
MEMORIAL SERVICE
ROSE S. FRANK
LIGHTING OF THE CHALICE
PRELUDE: by Don Beaudreault
Songs with “Rose” in the Title:
“The Rose”- 524
“Rose-Marie”- 522
“Rose of Tralee”- 523
“Rose of Washington Square”- 526
“Rosie”- 38
“Lida Rose”- 294
OPENING WORDS: “Emergent Life”
I am amazed, and all but mute with awe
That on this cinder, hurtling around the sun,
A living thing arose, to clothe the earth;
That all this splendor of the leaf and flower,
Life in the sea and on the earth,
From crawling thing to singing bird and man,
All fruit of the same life, continually renewed
Through cell and seed and birth –
In spite of winter’s storms that sweep the earth,
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This miracle of shared and sharing life,
Arose and, still evolving, still goes on.
Here on this whirling ball warmed by the sun
(As on what planets of what other stars?)
Through countless deaths and many million forms
Life bore its varied cells,
And there were those from which the coral grew
To atolls in the sea;
The fish, the insects and the nesting birds
All played their varied parts through which
A widening community spread across the earth.
Thus as through us the same life flows through all
Making us debtor and creditor, brother and sister, each of all;
Each as the grass, springing from common earth,
Adding to others and receiving as well,
And all of us, seed, plant and flower and seed
En route through love and the awakening mind
To what we cannot guess.
Robert Weston
HYMN: #346 “Come, Sing a Song with Me” – Carolyn McDade
READING: “Words Toward a Creed”
There is a creed, to which, in my judgment, all free men and women must forever hold fast…
We must learn that those we like are not always right and those we don’t like are not always
wrong.
We must learn to seek change without violence…not even in words, much less in deed.
We must meet fanaticism with courage and idealism with caution.
We must be strong enough to be gentle.
We must know that life will always have unbearable stretches of loneliness and that we can never
truly be understood, not even by those who love us; that we cannot completely understand
someone else no matter how much we want to.
We must have the courage to live without absolutes, without dogmas, the courage to seek
imaginative escapes from the straight jackets of conformity.
We must learn to meet life with a series of tentative and impermanent approximations, knowing
that the final goals may never be reached, that the last truths may be forever unknowable, but
that life holds nothing more precious that the process by which, to the fullest stretches of which
humans are capable, we stretch the mind and heart.
Leo Rosten
KADDISH: Catherine Heininger, Temple Sinai
REFLECTION ON A LIFE:
Rose Frank was more than her resume, although she had a heck of a resume. Note that she had
a kind of ego-less pride about her accomplishments – more of a “how did that happen to me?”
attitude; a perspective of wonderment if not bemusement that she had accomplished so much in
her life: as psychologist, academician, social activist, consultant – and of course as wife and
lover, as mother and grandmother, and dear friend to so many of us. Ah! The wonder of it all!
How could she, Rose Frank, be the person the resume said she was! Can’t you just hear her
saying this?
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Just consider what she had to face in life when she was a young woman and how she overcome
adversity and prospered.
In 1977 when Rose was 55-years-old there appeared an article in a local paper about here
lecture at Brevard Community College before 130 women on the subject “Widows Can Cope.”
The title of the article was “Happily Ever After? Easy (in Fairy Tales)” and included a photo of
Rose lecturing. There she is: looking intently at her audience, her eyebrows upturned, her right
arm resting on the top of a chair, her left arm raised, and her index finger up to make a point.
Rose: always trying to make a point!
The article goes on with:
At 30, Rose Frank had it made. A nice, Jewish teacher, who married a Jewish professional man,
she had a good marriage, a house that almost had its mortgage paid off, and two young
daughters, ages 5 and 7. She owned and managed her own kindergarten school and, as she puts
it, she was living out her own version of Cinderella.
“The core of the Cinderella myth is still there. If you develop a sweet personality and good looks,
your Prince Charming will come along and take care of you. You’ll live happily ever after. My
Prince Charming came along. We were happily married. But he died. Nobody told me he’d
develop Hodgkin’s disease at 32 and die two years later.”
The article goes on to quote Rose telling how difficult it is to get through a period of mourning:
It’s important…that you learn to distinguish fantasy from what is real.
Shortly after her husband died she began to hear a rooster, crowing underneath her window.
“I thought, ‘Rose, you’re going crazy. Where would there be a rooster in Key West?’
Then one morning my neighbor came over and told me, ‘My husband shot the rooster
that’s been underneath your window every morning.’”
I dare say that rooster story became a symbol for Rose of coming to grips with whom she was
and with whom she still wanted to be. “Cockle doodle do, Rose! Wake up! You still have a life to
lead!”
Rose, coming to grips with reality, moving on, ever curious to know more.
Her life started on February 7, 1922 in New York City. Her mother and a number of uncles
(furriers among them) raised her. Among other things, her mother, Bella, was a labor organizer,
working on behalf of the Ladies Garment Union. Feisty, I dare say – quite a role model for the
young Rose.
At 19, Rose graduated cum laude from Hunter College, majoring in Romance Languages and
Elementary Education. She was inducted into Phi Beta Kappa. She was to become an active
member in Mensa. Phi Kappa Phi, and Phi Delta Kappa.
She married Barney Frank, a naval engineer and they eventually moved to Portsmouth, VA for 2
years (where their daughter Harriet was born) then in 1948 to Key West (where daughter Nancy
was born). Barney worked as the Superintendent of the Navy Yard in Key West and played a key
role in the development of radar. Both he and Rose were leaders in the community. Barney was a
member of the City Planning Commission, became a leader of the Boy Scouts, and was chosen
as “Man of the Year.” At one time, both political parties asked him to run for office. Rose was
instrumental in establishing the first county library in the state of Florida in Key West; and in
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addition to running her kindergarten school, she was involved in promoting the island’s ballet and
symphony.
A tribute to the effect the Franks had on the people of Key West, was the reality that when Barney
became sick with Hodgkin’s Disease and needed blood, some 2,000 people out of 2,800 on the
island donated blood in his honor.
It was a devastating reality for Rose and her little girls when he died, but this fact was crucial in
the development of Rose’s determination to go on with life and make a success of it.
Indeed, she was the kind of person who wove the tragedies in her own life into a pattern of
meaning and purpose. For example, Barney’s death spurred Rose on to work on behalf of the
American Cancer Society and they gave her their national award for “Distinguished Service” in
the field of cancer education. And Barney’s death, too, was the impetus for Rose to help others –
especially women like the ones who participated in her seminar on the loss of a spouse at
Brevard Community College in 1977.
I am sure that Rose, in her sometimes self-deprecating way, must have said something to others,
who have felt loss, “Well, if I, Rose Frank, can do it, so can you!”
And do it she did! She stayed in Key West, raising her daughters and teaching elementary school
until 1964. Her excellence in teaching was illustrated by her being awarded the teacher of the
year award for the state of Florida in 1961. By 1964 at the age of 42 she had attained her Masters
in Education from the University of Miami. She then worked as an Associate Professor at Brevard
College. In 1971 she was awarded her Ph.D. in Educational Psychology from the University of
Miami. From 1970-82 she served as professor of psychology at Hillsborough Community College
in Tampa where among other tasks she directed a program for the disadvantaged, and provided
career counseling and education.
Saying all this, though, is really listing her professional resume. But what is important I believe is
Rose’s methodology as – dare I say NOT just as a teacher and a student herself – but as an
individual attempting to live a life of purpose.
For me, Rose was the quintessential purveyor of the Socratic way. By that I mean she applied the
philosophical method of systematic doubt and questioning of another (and of herself) to reveal
ignorance or to elicit a clear expression of a truth.
Both her daughters agree that she was someone who saw the potential in every person she met,
whether she was teaching kids in kindergarten or adults in college or the national gathering of
retired Unitarian Universalist ministers (as she once did in Maine). This search for knowledge
about what it means to be a human being was her passion. This was certainly indicated by her
personal collection of 5,000 books on wide-ranging subjects. And all the people who admired her
mind and her passion (even if they did not always agree with her) indicated it.
Always, always, Rose wanted you to answer the question for yourself as she was attempting to
answer the question for herself: “Who are you? Who are you REALLY?”
To attempt to answer this question, she studied as much as she could – and delighted in testing
people to discover what their Myers-Briggs type might be! This sense of applying a fairly objective
test to discover the truth about someone’s psyche revealed Rose’s penchant to be grounded in
what is real rather than fantasy. I would say that this is shown by the fact that there was not one
novel discovered in Rose’s personal library!
Still, this sense of growth and process, of acquiring knowledge through books and experiences, of
being pro-active rather than passive, reminds me of the thoughts of George Bernard Shaw when
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he says: “I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I
rejoice in life for its own sake.”
Indeed, Rose was active and inquisitive right to the very end.
Truly, she believed that human beings have the capacity – if given freedom – to be fulfilled. Rose
and I would talk about this every so often – and she was delighted that her minister agreed that
humanistic psychology – a la such lights as Carl Rogers - provided a wonderful framework upon
which to organize one’s life. For her, the fulfillment model of human interaction was a healthier
reality than a conflict model. Much more purposive to see life as a glass half full than half empty!
Leafing through her papers in preparation for this reflection on her life, I came across pages of
titles for talks she gave to numerous organizations. Under the heading “Selected Presentation
Titles” were such things as “Middle Age Ain’t What It’s Cracked Up to Be, Thank God!” and “Old
Age Ain’t What It’s Cracked Up to be, Thank God!” and “Ethnic Values of a Female JewnitarianUniversalist,” and “Think Right! Do Right! Feel Right!” and “If We Live Like the Men, We Will Die
Like the Men: Professional Development for Women in the 80’s” (she meant 1980’s – I think!)
Anyhow, these and the other scores of titles for her lectures and workshops shows this positive,
forward thrust in life: to get on with living life the best way any of us can, and not to feel guilty
when we make all those dog-gone mistakes each of us makes – and to realize that we blow it
sometimes because we’re only human!
Certainly, she lived her life like this. When the hardships came, she attempted to see them as
opportunities to grow personally. And sometimes, she blamed herself, because she was her own
worst critic, but I think she also was someone who was her own best cheerleader: “Come on,
Rose,” to very loosely paraphrase Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Don’t be so squeamish about your
actions! So what if you fall down and get rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again! You shall
never again be so afraid of a tumble!”
A primary facet of Rose’s personality was her passion for justice. Both Nancy and Harriet agree
that this was the major component of her Jewish acculturation as a child. Rose was an Old
Testament prophet or a Don Quixote, if you will: fighting the battles in the name of a high ideal:
the right of each individual to be free and loved and live life with a purpose.
She loved this country, and throughout her life would be among the first to comment upon the
socio-political situation when things were just not going right. She was an inveterate reader and
listener of the news, and always had an opinion; and often worked to right what she perceived to
be an injustice. She worked for fairness in human relationships.
For her, democracy was a cherished ideal. She took voting as a special privilege and never
missed expressing her belief in the voting booth. She worked for the causes of the Democratic
Party, the American Civil Liberties Union (where she served as treasurer), the Gray Panthers, the
Unitarian Universalist Church. She served on Governor Lawton Chiles’s state Board of
Psychology where she sought to protect the ethical rights of both the professionals in the field
and their clients.
An amusing story concerning her involvement with the Democrats: through her connection with
Leroy Collins, an early governor of Florida, she was able to meet Adlai Stevenson (a Unitarian, by
the way) as he was campaigning for U. S. President. She was so very excited to shake his hand
and talk with him for a while that his response to her was something like: “Rose, I came here
especially for you!”
Truly, I can see that twinkle in her eye when he said this! Can’t you? So very enthusiastic she
was at times! And so very frustrated at other times – about various things, including the current
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US Presidential administration. Indeed, I think we all knew Rose was someone who wore her
feelings on her sleeve!
And how wonderful to be around someone who refused to play psychological games – even if
she was a psychologist! What you saw is what you got when you met Rose Frank!
In that regard, Rose was very much someone that the men admired – and those who could do
more than admire her physical beauty and keep up with her intellectual prowess and high energy
became close friends.
After Barney’s death she remained single for a long time, but eventually did meet her second
husband, Milt Goodman, and they were to be together 20 years until his death about 5 years ago.
When Rose moved here to Sarasota, she became very active in our church. And about two years
ago, she met a dashing fellow at the Selby Library where there was a meeting to discuss school
vouchers. It turned out that both Rose Frank and Dave Eicher were Unitarian Universalists and
agreed about school vouchers – in short, to quote Calvin Coolidge from a different context: “They
were a’gin ‘em!” At any rate, Rose and Dave were not “a’gin” each other and quickly, to both their
amazement, became an item!
Both considered it a miracle that at the time in their lives when neither thought it was possible,
they should discover such intimate love – and Dave being an engineer of all things! And Rose
being…well a Rose is a Rose is a Rose…and ever shall be.
Rose is survived by her beloved daughters Harriet and Nancy, her granddaughter Julie (who is to
graduate from Dartmouth this spring and who she was so very proud of), and by her brother-inlaw, Barney’s brother Jack and his wife Mozell.
KADDISH
SHARING OF MEMORIES
HYMN: #311 “Let it Be a Dance” – Ric Masten
CLOSING WORDS: “All My Life is a Dance”
When I was young and feeling the earth
My steps were quick and easy.
The beat of the earth was so loud
That my drum was silent beside it.
All of my life rolled out from my feet
Like my land which had no end
As far as I could see.
The rhythm of my life was pure and free.
As I grew older
My feet kept dancing so hard
That I wore a spot in the earth
At the same time I made a hole in the sky.
I danced to the sun and the rain
And the moon lifted me up
So that I could dance to the stars.
My head touched the clouds sometimes
And my feet danced deep in the earth
So that I became the music.
I danced to everywhere
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It was the music of life.
Now my steps are slow and hard
And my body fails my spirit.
Yet my dance is still within me
And my song is the air I breathe.
My song insists that I keep dancing forever.
My song insists that I keep rhythm
With all of the earth and the sky.
My song insists that I will never die.
Taos Indians
WEDDING MEDITATION
Love can create FREEDOM. It should not be bondage but a bond, which allows the other person
to be him/herself within a relationship. It is not possession of the other or the desire to be
possessed; for to possess another – in thought, word, or deed – is not love, but control. To want
to be the object of control is weakness. On the other hand, love is liberating, allowing each
partner to be strengthened through achievement of one’s aspirations in becoming the person
he/she desires to be.
Love can create CONNECTION. It is a coupling of two hearts and minds and spirits. It can
become a healthy interdependency where two do, in truth, become one; not at the expense of
either person’s self-identity, but to the fruition of one identity merging into another. Nor is love as
connection that which is some demonic codependency bolstering the destructive aspects of
personality – the place where one partner overlooks that which needs a remedy within the other
partner. A connected love seeks to create nourishment, not depletion of human spirit.
Love can create TRUST. In a universe of random occurrence, despite some obvious patterns of
creation, people in love can feel hope that human interaction has purpose and meaning; that we
are not merely pawns in the hands of some malevolent, destructive cycle. And even though we
do not have many answers to the reasons for our being here in the first place, and even though
we sometimes get scared when we stop to consider all those imponderables, we can at least see
in our lover’s eyes something beyond a merely heartless existence.
Love can create PASSION. It causes the crescendo-ing of that which is physical within and about
us to explode into a harmony of self reflected by self. This passion, this energy, this joy, moves
through our limbs and into the deepest places of the pscyhe. It can become the impetus for
creativity. Love brings passion; passion brings finer thoughts, loftier emotions; a quickening of the
life force that tells us we are more than just mortal things which breathe a short span upon the
earth and then transmogrify into the dust from whence we sprang.
Love can create COMMUNITY. Those who model love through their respect and nurture of each
other can bring about fundamental changes in the world. Children born of such a union who grow
within the context of this love, can pass it on to others – to the partners they will love in life; to
their children; to their neighbors, friends, and strangers. Such a love can be a force to motivate
the practice of good against bad; of abundance against scarcity; of prosperity against mere
survival.
So, you see, love is not merely a slogan, a song, a passing fancy. It is not merely hearts and
flowers and chocolates and Valentine’s Day cards. Cupid is cute, but not as real as that person
who thinks of you as the most wonderful gift he or she has ever received in life, despite your
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flaws, despite your superior traits. Your ideal mate is ever evolving, too, and willing to do so with
you on the journey to the stars and beyond.
CHILD DEDICATION MEDITATION
You children are very special children on this planet. Not simply because you are loved – and
indeed you are, but because you are fed and clothed and housed; because you will probably get
a college degree or two; because you will know amusement, not just drudgery; because your life
expectancy will not just be long, but one filled with productive years. How lucky you are! The
choices you will have! The opportunities to create your own life’s story!
Yes, you are fortunate, unlike the 40,000 little ones on our planet who die every day from
starvation and neglect; unlike the ones who die moment by moment from physical or emotional
abuse; unlike the ones who grow up, only to exist in a continuing cycle of poverty and despair.
So you see, when your parents tell you, as their parents told them, about the need for you to eat
everything on your plate including all those slippery green things – because the children in Darfur
or Detroit are dying from hunger – listen to them.
And when your parents or teachers tell you not to take the drugs, which will undoubtedly be
offered, to you in school or at the mall, listen to those who love you. Know that there are evil
people in the world who want to take advantage of you. Walk away from them. Respect your
body by taking good care of it.
And don’t spend so much time tuning out the beautiful world all around you. Take off your I-Pod
and let the rock music be replaced with the whistling of a bird; turn off your DVD, your computer,
your television, and walk in the woods or through your own neighborhood, greeting life’s miracles:
the sun, the trees, and the people you pass.
You might achieve great honors or wealth in your life. You might be the one to discover a cure
for AIDS or be the person who first steps on the planet Mars or be the one to represent our nation
at an international summit when the first worldwide peace treaty is signed. But remember that
whatever you do, do it in the spirit of love, and think humbly of your own accomplishments.
Furthermore, be aware that not everyone will agree with you, but be fearless about this. Along
the way and ultimately as well, what matters is what you think of yourself. If what you do is what
your inner being tells you is right, then don’t worry about the opinion of others. But take some
caution here and be open to the possibility that you might just be wrong, even completely wrong.
So be willing to change. Know that change might not be the worst thing in the world; it might be
the best way to achieve growth and understanding.
Most important of all, honor the very mystery of being alive – that out of all the possible
combinations of stardust, YOU were created. The gift of life was given to you, so use every
moment of it well.
Rejoice, children, you special children, for your life is just beginning to unfold. Welcome to life!
What an adventure awaits you!
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