Santa Claus Claus Conquers the Martians
Screenplay by
Glenville Martin
Based on a story by
Paul L. Jacobson
From the 1964 film
Annotated by
Alternate Histories
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[WE SEE A NEWSCASTER TALKING ON A TV SCREEN]
!
KID TV ANNOUNCER
At this time, station KID TV brings you
the special event of the year, a first in television history. At
this very moment, KID TV has standing by a television crew at
Santa Claus’ workshop.
[THE CAMERA BEGINS TO PAN AWAY FROM THE TV]
!
KID TV ANNOUNCER
And in just a few seconds, our special
correspondent Andy Henderson will bring you a person to person
interview with Santa Claus himself, direct from the North Pole,
where at the moment, the temperature is 91 degrees below zero.
[THE CAMERA REVEALS TWO MARTIAN CHILDREN WATCHING TV, BOMAR and
GIRMAR]
!
KID TV ANNOUNCER
And now KID TV takes you via Telstar,
Andy Henderson at the North Pole.
EXTERIOR, NORTH POLE
[HENDERSON HOLDS A MICROPHONE AND STANDS IN FRONT OF SANTA’S
WORKSHOP. HE IS SHIVERING]
!
HENDERSON
Hi kids! This is Andy Henderson, at the North
Pole! Whoo, it’s cold up here! From this spot, there’s only one
direction you can go, and that’s south! [LAUGHS] Livin’ up here
is pretty rough - I don’t see how Santa stands it. Since we’ve
been here, we’ve eaten nothing but frozen food - at least that’s
the way it is by the time we get it! [LAUGHS] And now, let’s
take a looksie into Santa’s workshop!
INTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
[HENDERSON ENTERS THE WORKSHOP, WHERE NUMEROUS ELVES ARE SITTING
AT TABLES MAKING TOYS]
!
HENDERSON
Hello again! Boys and girls, it’s just weeks
before Christmas and Santa and his helpers are working overtime
to make sure that there’s enough toys for the kids all over the
world. Santa’s a pretty busy man, but I’m sure he’d like to say
a few words to you kids.
[HENDERSON APPROACHES SANTA]
!
HENDERSON
Hello, Santa!
!
SANTA
Oh, hello, son. [NOTICES THE CAMERA] Oh, oh! Oh,
hello boys and girls! [LAUGHS] Oh Andy, you’ve caught me at a
very busy time.
!
HENDERSON
Well, uh, do you think you’ll be ready by
Christmas Eve?
!
SANTA
Well we’ve never disappointed the kids yet!
[THEY BOTH LAUGH. THERE IS A LOT OF LAUGHING IN THIS MOVIE]
!
HENDERSON
Tell me is it true that this year, there’s a
rumor that you’re going to use a rocket sled?
!
SANTA
Nosiree! We’re going out the good old-fashioned
way, with my reindeer Prancer and Dancer and Dunder and Blitzen
and Vixen and Nixon, uh — Nixon, now where did I get that —
well, consarn it, I get those named mixed up, but the kids know
their names!
[MRS. CLAUS ENTERS. SHE DOES NOT NOTICE THE TV CAMERA]
!
MRS. CLAUS
Santa! There you are! We have so much to do!
And you stand here dawdling, talking to this visitor.
!
SANTA
Mr. Henderson, this is Mrs. Claus. [TO MRS CLAUS]
Oh, dear, we’re on television.
!
MRS. CLAUS
How do you do, Mr. Henderson?
!
HENDERSON
[NODS] Ma’am.
!
MRS. CLAUS
Now dear, I want you to go and finish painting
those hobby-horses!
[MRS. CLAUS NOTICES THE CAMERA]
!
MRS. CLAUS
Television? Did you say we’re on television?
Oh! Oh dear! Why didn’t you tell me? Oh, my hair’s a mess!
[NERVOUS, SHE WAVES AT THE CAMERA]
!
MRS. CLAUS
Hello there! Ohhhh!
[EXCITED, SHE RUNS OFF. SANTA AND HENDERSON LAUGH]
!
SANTA
Come along, Mr. Henderson, and I’ll show you some
of the new toys we’re turning out.
[SANTA LEADS HENDERSON TO TABLES FULL OF ELVES WORKING. SANTA
APPROACHES ONE OF THE ELVES]
!
SANTA
How’s it going, Winky?
!
WINKY
Everything is A-OK, Santa!
!
SANTA
Good man! [TO HENDERSON] Winky is in charge of our
space department. Oh, now here, here is the latest toy rocket.
It runs on real rocket fuel.
!
HENDERSON
Really?
[HENDERSON PICKS UP A MARTIAN DOLL]
!
HENDERSON
I’ve been wondering, what is this strange
little creature over here?
!
SANTA
Oh, Winky made that. That’s his idea of a Martian.
!
HENDERSON
A Martian?! Wowie wow, I’d hate to meet a
creature like that on a dark night.
[SANTA LAUGHS]
!
HENDERSON
I wonder if there really are people on Mars.
!
SANTA
Well, who knows?
!
HENDERSON
Well if there are, I hope they have someone up
there like you, Santa, to bring joy and good cheer to all the
Martian children!
!
SANTA
Oh, Mr. Henderson...[LAUGHS SHYLY] Keep going,
Winky! Christmas Eve is coming soon. Now Mr. Henderson, I want
to show you some more...
[SANTA’S VOICE FADES OUT AS WE DISSOLVE TO]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[KIMAR ENTERS. HE WEARS A CAPE AND HAS ANTENNAE ON HIS HEAD, AS
MARTIANS DO]
!
KIMAR
Dropo? Dropo, you lazy good-for-nothing, where are
you?
[KIMAR NOTICES DROPO SLEEPING ON THE FLOOR, AND PRODS HIM WITH
SOME KIND OF RAY]
!
KIMAR
Dropo. Dropo, wake up! Wake up!
[DROPO STARTS LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
!
DROPO
Turn it off! Turn off that tickle ray!
!
KIMAR
Stand up. Stand up!
[DROPO GETS TO HIS FEET AND SALUTES]
!
DROPO
I’m sorry chief Kimar, sir!
!
KIMAR
Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars! Why are you
sleeping during working hours?
!
DROPO
I wasn’t sleeping, chief! It’s just that I haven’t
been able to sleep these last few nights. I forgot how! So I was
just practicing!
[DROPO LAUGHS. KIMAR CHUCKLES GRIMLY]
!
KIMAR
Well I suggest you practice doing your work!
[DROPO SALUTES]
!
KIMAR
Where is Lady Momar?
!
DROPO
Oh she went to the food pill center to get some new
food pills. The children haven’t been eating well - no appetite
at all!
!
KIMAR
It’s no wonder. They sit in front of the video set
all day watching those ridiculous Earth programs. It confuses
them! Where are they?
!
DROPO
Oh...in there...watching Earth programs.
[KIMAR ENTERS THE CHILDREN’S ROOM. BOMAR AND GIRMAR, TWO MARTIAN
CHILDREN, ARE WATCHING TV]
!
HENDERSON (ON TV)
Say Santa, what have we here?
!
SANTA (ON TV)
These are new dolls. Now this little doll
walks, talks, cries, and she even sings!
!
HENDERSON (ON TV)
Almost like a real, live, little girl.
!
SANTA (ON TV)
That she is, sir. That she is. All she
needs is tender loving care.
!
GIRMAR
Bomar, what is a ‘doll?’
!
BOMAR
I don’t know, Girmar. What is ‘tender loving care?’
!
GIRMAR
I don’t know either!
!
KIMAR
Bomar, Girmar! I told you not to watch those silly
Earth programs. Now go to sleep!
!
GIRMAR
Must we go to sleep now, father? I want to see
Santa Claus some more.
!
BOMAR
I want to see more toys.
!
KIMAR
No, go to sleep!
[THE CHILDREN GET UP AND CLIMB INTO THEIR MARTIAN BEDS. IN THE
OUTER ROOM, DROPO IS RANDOMLY FLIPPING SWITCHES. LADY MOMAR
ENTERS]
!
MOMAR
Hello Dropo. I see you’re keeping busy.
!
DROPO
Oh I’ve been working very hard, Lady Momar. I’ve
been vacuuming the room.
!
MOMAR
Good. Is the master here?
!
DROPO [POINTS AT THE BEDROOM] He’s in there - and Kimar’s
very angry too.
[KIMAR ENTERS]
!
MOMAR
Kimar, I bought some new food pills. I hope the
children will eat these.
[SHE GESTURES TO A SERIES OF TINY PILLS IN GLASS VIALS]
!
MOMAR
We have hamburger, buttered asparagus, mashed
potatoes, and a special treat for them: chocolate layer cake
pills.
!
KIMAR
Momar, I’m worried about our children.
!
MOMAR
So am I - they’ve hardly eaten a thing in three
days.
!
KIAMR
It goes deeper than that. They’re behaving
strangely, they appear to be troubled, they don’t care to sleep!
I had to use the sleep spray on them again. I mentioned this to
my council chiefs today and I learned it’s the same with
children all around the planet, in every district. Something is
happening to the children of Mars.
!
MOMAR
Kimar, as leader of the Martians you must do
something about it.
!
KIMAR
I know. But what?
!
MOMAR
Why don’t you go to the forest and see Chochem the
Ancient One? He’ll know what to do! He’s never failed you.
!
KIMAR
You speak wisely. I will go.
[KIMAR TOUCHES A RADIO ON HIS BELT]!
!
KIMAR
Attention, Council Chiefs. Please report.
[THE REPORTS COME THROUGH HIS RADIO]
!
LOMAS (VOICE)
Lomas reporting.
!
RIGNA (VOICE)
Rigna reporting.
!
HARGO (VOICE)
Hargo here.
!
KIMAR
Voldar? Voldar, please report!
!
VOLDAR (VOICE)
Voldar reporting.
!
KIMAR
Gentlemen of the council, we will meet immediately
at Chochem’s Chair in Thunder Forest.
!
VOLDAR (VOICE)
What’s wrong now, Kimar?
!
KIMAR
I don’t know Voldar, but I mean to find out.
EXTERIOR, CHOCHEM’S CHAIR
[STRANGE ROCKS AND GROWTH ON THE MARTIAN SURFACE. LOMAS, RIGNA,
HARGO, & VOLDAR ENTER]!
!
VOLDAR
Where’s Kimar?
!
HARGO
He should be here any moment.
!
VOLDAR
What’s this all about?
!
HARGO
We’ll find out when Kimar arrives. We are probably
going to see the advice of Chochem.
!
VOLDAR
What does Kimar thing we are, a kindergarten
class? Can’t we make our own decisions? Must we always come
crawling to that doddering old man?
!
RIGNA
Chochem is 800 years old. You can’t dismiss the
wisdom of centuries.
!
VOLDAR
I can.
[KIMAR ENTERS]
!
KIMAR
Gentlemen. Thank you for coming.
[KIMAR TURNS TO FACE A ROCK FORMATION]
!
KIMAR
Chochem! Chochem are you here? Ancient one of Mars,
I call upon you. Chochem it is I, Kimar, and the Council chiefs!
We need you, Chochem!
[CHOCHEM APPEARS IN A BURST OF SMOKE. HE LOOKS & SOUNDS QUITE
OLD]
!
CHOCHEM
You called me, Kimar?
!
KIMAR
We need your advice, Chochem. Something is wrong
with our children. They eat not, they sleep not. Their only
interest is watching meaningless Earth programs on the video.
!
CHOCHEM
What time of year is it now?
!
KIMAR
It is the middle of Septober.
!
CHOCHEM
No, no, not here. I mean on Earth. Ah yes...it is
early December on Earth. Close to the time of the Christmas.
That explains it. !
!
VOLDAR
What is a ‘Christmas?’
!
CHOCHEM
It is an occasion for great joy and peace on the
planet Earth. And for children, it is also a time of
anticipation as they await the arrival of Santa Claus and his
gifts.
!
VOLDAR
Bah! What nonsense.
!
KIMAR
What has this to do with our children, Ancient One?
!
CHOCHEM
We have no children on Mars! They have children’s
bodies, but with adult minds. They do not have a childhood. I’ve
seen this coming for centuries. They are born - our electronic
teaching machines are attached to their brains while they are in
their cradles. Information is fed into their minds in a constant
stream. And by the time they can walk - they are adults! They’ve
never played! They’ve never learned to have fun! And now, now
they are rebelling!
!
KIMAR
What do you advise?
!
CHOCHEM
The children must be allowed to be children
again. They must learn to play. They must learn what it means to
have fun. We need a Santa Claus on Mars!
[CHOCHEM DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF SMOKE]
!
LOMAS
Santa Claus on Mars?
!
RIGNA
Where will we get a Santa Claus?
!
KIMAR
There’s only one Santa Claus and he’s on earth.
[VOLDAR LAUGHS, AND THEN IS SILENCED BY A LOOK FROM KIMAR]
!
VOLDAR
Well, I guess that takes care of that. Didn’t I
tell you it was a foolish idea to seek advice from that old man?
!
KIMAR
This is a serious matter, Voldar! And desperate
problems require desperate deeds. Earth has had Santa Claus long
enough! We will bring him to Mars.
!
VOLDAR
I’m against it! Our children are fine the way they
are. I don’t want any Santa Claus bringing them toys and games.
They’ll start playing and laughing and running underfoot.
They’ll become a nuisance!
!
KIMAR
I’ve made my decision! We leave for Earth tonight!
Rigna, Lomas - prepare Spaceship number One.
[SPACESHIP NUMBER ONE TAKES OFF]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[RIGNA, HARGO, VOLDAR, AND KIMAR SIT AT A CONTROL PANEL IN FRONT
OF AN OCTAGONAL WINDOW]
!
KIMAR
Approaching projected Earth orbit. Fire portside
rockets number one and number two.
!
VOLDAR
Portside rockets number one and number two, fire!
[THE ROCKETS FIRE]
!
KIMAR
Entering Earth orbit. Alright Voldar, now to find
Santa Claus. Turn on your magnoscope to third power.
[THEY ADJUST DIALS AND STARE AT A SMALL SCREEN]!
!
KIMAR
We’re over a city of some kind.
[THE MAGNOSCOPE SHOWS NEW YORK CITY]
!
VOLDAR
So that’s what the Earth people call a city, eh?
How primitive. Look at all those buildings above ground. Why we
could destroy that city with one blast of our Q ray!
!
KIMAR
We did not come here to destroy anyone. Our only
purpose is to bring Santa Claus back to Mars. Turn to fifth
power. Let’s see if we can locate Santa Claus. He wears a red
suit trimmed with white fur and he has a long white beard.
!
VOLDAR
But there are millions of people down there! It’s
like looking for a speck of space dust in a comet’s tail. Wait a
minute - I see him! I see Santa Claus!
[THE MAGNOSCOPE SHOWS A SANTA CLAUS ON THE SIDEWALK SOLICITING
DONATIONS]
!
KIMAR
I see him too!
!
VOLDAR
He’s standing on the corner ringing a bell!
!
KIMAR
No he’s not!
[KIMAR’S SCREEN SHOWS A DIFFERENT SANTA CLAUS]
!
KIMAR
He’s standing near the entrance to a large building
next to a large black kettle.
!
VOLDAR [IMPATIENT] He’s standing on the corner, Kimar,
he’s - wait a minute! I see another one!
!
KIMAR
Why there are hundreds of Santa Clauses down there!
!
VOLDAR
And we’re gonna bring them all back with us to
Mars?!
!
KIMAR
Just one. And with so many, they won’t miss one.
Prepare for landing on next orbit!
INTERIOR, TV STUDIO
!
NEWSCASTER
We interrupt our program with a special
bulletin. An unidentified object has been spotted in orbit
around the Earth. The Soviet Union denies it has launched any
new space satellite. Our radar stations are tracking the
spaceship, or whatever it is. The US Air Force has alerted all
defense commands and retaliatory units. Stay tuned for further
bulletins.
[A MONTAGE OF AIR FORCE OFFICERS TALKING, COMPUTERS, BALD MEN ON
TELEPHONES, ROCKETS BEING RAISED INTO POSITION]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[RIGNA ENTERS]
!
RIGNA
Sir, Earth radar beams are bouncing off our ship.
!
VOLDAR
Well, it certainly took them long enough.
!
KIMAR
Voldar, turn on the radar shield.
[VOLDAR FLIPS SOME SWITCHES AND FROWNS]
!
VOLDAR
Misfunctioning of radar shield!
!
KIMAR
Rigna, check the radar box.
[RIGNA OPENS THE RADAR SHIELD PANEL]
!
VOLDAR
Radar shield functioning. What was wrong, Rigna?
[RIGNA PULLS DROPO FROM THE RADAR SHIELD BOX]
!
RIGNA
A slight case of Dropo.
!
DROPO
Hi chief.
!
KIMAR
What are you doing here, Dropo?
!
DROPO
Oh, well, Chief, I went to the launching pad so I
could say goodbye to you, and I remembered: I’ve never been to
Earth! So I thought I’d!
KIMAR
I may leave you there in place of Santa Claus! Now
get below! I’ll deal with you later!
[DROPO BUMBLES ABOUT, AND GRABS SOME CONTROLS, SHAKING THE
ENTIRE SHIP]!
!
KIMAR
Dropo, get below quickly!
!
DROPO
Yes Chief! I’m sorry!
[DROPO EXITS]
!
KIMAR
Prepare to land. We’ll set down in that field near
the lake.
!
RIGNA
Rocket silencer set.
!
VOLDAR
Roto rockets number one and two - fire!
[THE SHIP SHAKES BRIEFLY]!
!
VOLDAR
All this trouble over a fat little man in a red
suit.
INTERIOR, TV STUDIO
!
NEWSCASTER
Here is another UFO bulletin. The Defense
department has just announced that the unidentified flying
object has suddenly disappeared from our radar screens. They
believe the object has either disintegrated in space or it may
be a spaceship from some other planet, which has the ability to
nullify our radar beams. Because of the ominous situation, the
president has ordered the Strategic Air Command into action.
[MONTAGE OF SIRENS, MEN CLIMBING INTO PLANES, FIGHTER JETS
TAKING OFF, THE USUAL]
!
!
KIMAR
VOLDAR
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
Fire retro rockets number five and six.
Retro rockets five and six - fire.
[ROCKETS FIRE. A MACHINE BEGINS BEEPING WILDLY. NO ONE SEEMS
CONCERNED]
!
KIMAR
Lower landing legs.
[RIGNA PULLS TWO SETS OF LEVERS WITH GREAT CONCENTRATION]
!
RIGNA
Landing legs lowered.
!
KIMAR
Attention crew, this is Kimar. When we’ve landed,
Rigna, Voldar, and I will leave the ship to investigate. Hargo,
Lomas, and Dropo will stay on board on constant alert for
immediate blast-off.
[THE SHIP LANDS]
EXTERIOR, PARK
[TWO CHILDREN, BILLY AND BETTY, ARE LISTENING TO A PORTABLE
RADIO UNDERNEATH A TREE]
!
NEWSCASTER (ON RADIO)
The Defense Department believe that
the object spotted on our radar screens might have been nothing
more than a meteor which burned up when it entered our
atmosphere. Professor Werner Von Green, our leading space
expert, is still convinced it was a Martian spaceship. Stay
tuned for further bulletins.
!
BETTY
Billy, what does a Martian look like?
!
BILLY
I don’t know - nobody’s ever seen one.
!
BETTY
I don’t believe there are any Martians.
!
BILLY
You don’t, huh? What would you do if a Martian
walked right up behind you?
!
BETTY
I’d scream!
[THE MARTIANS WALK RIGHT UP BEHIND THEM. BETTY SCREAMS]
!
BILLY
Aw, stop fooling around, Betty. I’m trying to
sleep.
!
BETTY
I see a Martian!
!
BILLY
Boy, you and your imagination. Come on, let’s go
home.
[BILLY GETS UP AND SEE THE MARTIANS, WHO DRAW THEIR RAY GUNS ON
HIM]
!
BILLY
Who, who are you?
!
KIMAR
We are from Mars. Don’t be afraid. We have children
just like you on Mars.
!
BETTY
What are those funny things sticking out of your
head?
!
RINGA
Those are our antennae.!
!
BETTY
Are you a television set?
!
BILLY
Shhh!
[KIMAR LAUGHS]
!
VOLDAR
Stupid question. Is this what you want to do to
our children on Mars? Turn them into nincompoops like these?
!
KIMAR
Hold your tongue, Voldar. What’s your name, little
boy?
!
BILLY
Billy. Billy Foster, sir. And this is my sister
Betty.!
!
KIMAR
Perhaps you can help us, Billy. We’re looking for
one of your Santa Clauses.
!
BILLY
There’s only one Santa Claus.
!
RIGNA
We’ve seen many of them in your cities.
!
BILLY
Oh. Those are his helpers. There’s only one real
Santa Claus, and he’s in his workshop up at the North Pole.
!
RIGNA
That’s what we came here to find out. Let’s go.
[VOLDAR GRABS THE TWO CHILDREN]
!
VOLDAR
Come on, you two!
!
BETTY
Let me go!
!
BILLY
Where are you taking us?
!
KIMAR
Leave them alone, Voldar!
!
VOLDAR
What? And leave them here to inform the
authorities?
!
RIGNA
He’s right Kimar, we’d better take them along with
us to the North Pole.
!
KIMAR
Very well. Come along.
[KIMAR HELPS THE TWO CHILDREN AS THEY LEAVE]
INTERIOR, TV STUDIO
!
NEWSCASTER
This morning two children disappeared
mysteriously from the vicinity of Welch lake. The police have
found no clues, and it seems as though Billy and Betty Foster
have simply vanished into thin air. This appears to be a day
when everything is vanishing into thin air. While local police
are continuing their search for the missing children, the Armed
Forces are continuing their search for the mysterious object
from space.
[FOOTAGE OF AIRPLANES REFUELING, WHICH HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH THE
SEARCH FOR A SPACESHIP]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[DROPO POKES HIS HEAD IN, THEN ENTERS WITH THE CHILDREN]
!
Dropo
All right Billy and Betty, nobody’s here, come on
in.
!
BILLY
Golly!
!
DROPO
Now I’m not supposed to bring you here - the
Chief’s gonna be awful mad if he finds us.
!
BILLY
Boy, wait’ll the kids at home find out I was in a
real Martian spaceship!
[BILLY REACHES OUT TO TOUCH AN INSTRUMENT]
!
DROPO
No, now don’t touch anything! Now here, that’s the
anti-gravity generator. And these are the retro rockets.
!
BILLY
Does this light up?
!
DROPO
Only when the radar waves are bouncing off our
ship. Then we put up this radar screen, and nobody can find us
in space!
!
BILLY
Boy, that’s pretty sharp!
[BETTY POINTS AT A BUTTON]
!
BETTY
What’s this, Dropo?
!
DROPO
Oh, that’s the elevator signal. That light starts
flashing when somebody is coming up from the navigation deck.
[THE BUTTON STARTS FLASHING]
!
DROPO Oh, oh, oh!
!
BILLY
Somebody’s coming up! We better get out of
here!!
!
DROPO Oh, no, no, no, there’s no time for that! Oh, uh, I’m
in trouble, uh, let’s hide! In here, here.
[DROPO LIFTS THE COVER OF THE RADAR SHIELD CONTROL PANEL]
!
DROPO
In here, quick!
[THE CHILDREN CLIMB IN. DROPO IS TERRIBLY NERVOUS AS KIMAR,
RIGNA, HARGO, & VOLDAR ENTER. VOLDAR GLARES AT DROPO, WHO IS
EXAMINING THE RADAR PANEL. DROPO LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
!
VOLDAR
Thinking of taking another nap in the radar box,
Dropo?
!
DROPO
Oh, no sir! As a matter of fact, I was just looking
in there to remind myself never to hide in there again!
!
VOLDAR
I bet!
[VOLDAR SHOVES DROPO TOWARD THE DOOR AND STARTS TO LOOK IN THE
BOX]
!
KIMAR
Approaching North Pole.
[VOLDAR CLOSES THE BOX AND SITS DOWN AT HIS STATION]
!
KIMAR
I can see Santa Claus’ workshop. Prepare for
landing. Hargo, set the rocket silencers. Dropo, you stay aboard
and guard those children. They must not leave the ship now.
!
VOLDAR
Now? Or ever?
!
KIMAR
What do you mean, Voldar?!
!
VOLDAR
If we take them with us to Mars, Santa’s
disappearance would remain a mystery. No one on Earth would ever
know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians.!
[BETTY AND BILLY PEEK OUT OF THE RADAR BOX]
!
KIMAR
Perhaps you’re right. Dropo, get back to those
children and don’t let them out of your sight! Understand?
!
DROPO
Yes sir, I understand. I’ll keep an eye on ‘em!
[DROPO EXITS, GLANCING AT THE RADAR BOX]
!
RINGA
We’ve landed.
!
KIMAR
Secure the ship. Lomas, you remain on guard and
have the ship ready for an immediate blastoff. Rigna, Hargo,
Voldar, you’ll accompany me. Come, we’ll activate Torg.
!
VOLDAR
Torg? To capture a roly-poly little man like Santa
Claus? We don’t need Torg.
!
KIMAR
We won’t take any chances. Come, nothing can stop
Torg.
[THE MARTIANS EXIT. BILLY AND BETTY CLIMB OUT FROM THE RADAR
BOX]
!
BETTY
They’re going to kidnap Santa Claus. And us too!
!
BILLY
Not if we can help it! We’ve got to get out of here
and warn Santa!!
!
BETTY
What’s a ‘Torg?’
!
BILLY
I don’t know...but I’m not afraid of it. It’s not
going to stop us. Come on.
[THEY START TO LEAVE]
!
BILLY
Wait Betty!
[BILLY TURNS AND PULLS OUT SOME WIRES IN THE RADAR BOX]
!
BETTY
Why did you do that?
!
BILLY
If this ship ever leaves Earth, they’ll have the
whole US Space Force after them! Come on - wait a minute!
[BILLY CLOSES THE LID TO THE RADAR BOX]
!
BILLY
Come on.
EXTERIOR, SPACESHIP
[BILLY AND BETTY CLIMB DOWN A LADDER FROM THE MARTIAN SHIP]
!
BILLY
Come on Betty!
[THE MARTIANS EMERGE FROM THE SHIP, AND WIELD LARGE RAY GUNS]
!
KIMAR
This action must take place swiftly. We can’t
afford to make any mistakes. Hargo, you cover the rear of the
workshop. Rigna, Voldar, cover the front entrance. I’ll direct
Torg.
!
RIGNA
Voldar isn’t here.
[VOLDAR CLIMBS DOWN THE LADDER AND EMERGES BEHIND THEM]
!
KIMAR
Rigna, go up and tell Voldar [KIMAR SEES VOLDAR]
!
KIMAR
Voldar, this is another one of your delaying
tactics. You’ve been opposing me at every turn. Now I’m warning
you: change your attitude!
!
VOLDAR
You finished, “Chief?”
!
KIMAR
Yes I am, and you will be too if you’re not
careful.
!
VOLDAR
Oh, but I am careful, “Chief.” So careful that I
looked in at the children before I left the ship.
!
KIMAR
You stay away from those children!
!
VOLDAR
That’ll be easy to do. They’ve escaped!
!
KIMAR
Voldar, if this is your idea of a joke !
VOLDAR
Ask Dropo! They overheard our plans! At this very
moment, they’re on their way to Santa Claus to warn him.
!
RIGNA
It’s true Kimar - their footprints!
!
KIMAR
We must stop them! Those children mustn’t reach
Santa Claus! Follow them! I’ll out Torg on their trail.
[KIMAR ACTIVATES A SWITCH ON HIS BELT]
!
KIMAR
Torg! Come - out - of - the - spaceship. Torg! Come
- out - of - the - spaceship!
EXTERIOR, NORTH POLE
[BILLY AND BETTY RUN THROUGH THE SNOW]
!
BETTY
Billy, I can’t run anymore. I’m cold, and I’m
tired. And it’s beginning to snow!
!
BETTY
Please, Betty! Try! We’ve got to warn Santa - we
can’t stop now - they might catch us!
!
BETTY
Where is Santa?
!
BILLY
I don’t know - his workshop must be somewhere
around here. Betty, look!
[BILLY SEES VOLDAR IN THE DISTANCE]
!
BILLY
It’s Voldar!
!
BETTY
He’s the mean one! The one who doesn’t like us!
!
BILLY
Come on!
[THE KIDS HIDE IN A SMALL ICE CAVE. VOLDAR PAUSES, THEN WALKS TO
THE CAVE. BILLY MOTIONS FOR BETTY TO BE QUIET. VOLDAR IS ABOUT
TO LOOK IN THE CAVE WHEN HE HEARS A NOISE. A MAN IN A POLAR BEAR
SUIT...I MEAN, A ‘POLAR BEAR’ APPROACHES. VOLDAR EXITS. THE KIDS
LEAVE THE CAVE]
!
BILLY
He ran away! But boy, that was a narrow escape.
!
BETTY
Why did he run away?
!
BILLY
I don’t know.
[BILLY SEES THE POLAR BEAR]
!
BETTY
Uh-oh!
[THE KIDS CLIMB BACK INTO THE CAVE. THE BEAR APPROACHES THE CAVE
AND CLAWS AT THE KIDS, BUT CANNOT REACH THEM. IT LEAVES]
!
BILLY
Don’t move, Betty. I’ll go take a look.
[BILLY CRAWLS OUT OF THE CAVE]
!
BILLY
It’s alright now, Betty, come on.
!
BETTY
I’m cold. I wish it wouldn’t snow.
!
BILLY
That’s the best thing that could happen! It’ll
cover our tracks and be hard for the Martians to find us!
!
BETTY
And it’ll be hard for us to find Santa’s workshop.
I’m scared.
!
BILLY
We’ll find it! Which way is North?
[THE KIDS LOOK AROUND. BETTY POINTS AT A LIGHT IN THE DISTANCE]
!
BETTY
I see it! I see it - Santa’s workshop!
!
BILLY
Where?
!
BETTY
Right there! See the lights?
!
BILLY
Where? The lights...are moving!
[THE LIGHTS MOVE TOWARD THEM. IT IS THE ROBOT TORG, AS MENACING
AS A ROBOT MADE OF CARDBOARD CAN BE]
!
BETTY
They’re coming towards us.
!
BILLY
Betty, that’s not Santa’s house.
!
BETTY
What? What is it?
!
BILLY
I don’t know.
[THE CHILDREN STARE, TOO FRIGHTENED TO MOVE AS TORG LUMBERS
TOWARDS THEM. IT GRABS BOTH CHILDREN. VOLDAR RUSHES IN]
!
VOLDAR
Good work, Torg! Now destroy them! Crush them!
Crush them Torg! Do as I say!
[KIMAR AND HARGO ENTER]
!
KIMAR
Voldar! I knew you’d try something like this! I set
Torg’s controls so he will obey only me. Release them, Torg!
[TORG RELEASES THE CHILDREN]
!
KIMAR
You were very lucky! Now don’t try to escape again!
You may not be so lucky next time! Hargo! Take them back to the
ship, lock them up, and rejoin us.
!
BILLY
You won’t get away with this, you, you Martian!
[HARGO LEAVES WITH THE CHILDREN]
!
KIMAR
Danger grows with every minute. Let’s get Santa
Claus and blast off! We’ll surround the workshop and send Torg
in to get Santa. Nobody is to be harmed unless they get in our
way.
!
VOLDAR
Bah - ‘No one is to be harmed.’ What has happened
to the great warriors of our planet? Mars used to be the planet
of war! Mark my words, Kimar - your softness will destroy us!
Santa Claus, toys, games, laughing children!
!
KIMAR
Well we shall see! But for now - to your posts!
Torg, follow me!
EXTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
[KIMAR PEERS IN THE WINDOW. SANTA AND THE ELVES ARE HARD AT
WORK]
!
KIMAR
Get him, Torg!
INTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
[TORG BREAKS DOWN THE DOOR AND KNOCKS OVER A TABLE. WINKY RUSHES
AT TORG]
!
WINKY
You can’t come in here! No one’s allowed!
[TORG PICKS UP WINKY WHEN SANTA MOVES IN]
!
SANTA [TO TORG] Well! Where did you come from? You’re the
biggest toy I’ve ever seen!
[TORG PUTS WINKY DOWN AND STANDS AT ATTENTION]
!
SANTA
And very well made, too!
EXTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
!
KIMAR
By the great dog star, Santa’s treating him like a
toy! Get him, Torg, grab him!
!
RIGNA
He’s become a toy.
!
KIMAR
Rigna, we’ll have to get Santa ourselves. Come on,
Voldar!
INTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
[KIMAR, RIGNA, AND VOLDAR RUSH INTO SANTA’S WORKSHOP. SANTA
SEEMS NONPLUSSED, AND LAUGHS]
!
SANTA
What have we here? More toys?
!
WINKY
Those are Martians!
!
KIMAR
Santa Claus, you’re coming with us!
!
WINKY
No! You can’t take him now! It’s too near
Christmas.
!
VOLDAR
Quiet, you!
!
WINKY
But[VOLDAR FIRES A ‘RAY GUN’ THAT IS SUSPICIOUSLY SIMILAR TO A
WHAMMO AIR BLASTER. IT FREEZES WINKY, AND ANOTHER ELF, IN THEIR
TRACKS]
!
KIMAR
We don’t want to hurt you, Santa Claus, so come
along quietly.
[SANTA LOOKS AT HIS ELVES SADLY]!
!
SANTA
Why? Why did you have to do that to my helpers?
!
KIMAR
It’s harmless. It’ll wear off in a short while.
!
SANTA
Oh. Well, why didn’t you say so in the first place?
!
KIMAR
Now you come with us - we need you on Mars!
[SANTA WAVES HIS HAND IN FRONT OF A MOTIONLESS ELF’S FACE]
!
SANTA
Are you sure this is harmless?
[MRS. CLAUS ENTERS]
!
MRS. CLAUS
Oh! I never saw such lazy people! Standing
around like statues! There’s work to be done! Let’s get to it!
[RIGNA FIRES HIS RAY GUN AT MRS. CLAUS. SHE FREEZES]
!
SANTA
Oh me oh my, oh me oh...oh, Mrs. Claus is going to
be very angry about this.
!
KIMAR
Take him, Torg. Torg! Take him!
[TORG DOES NOT MOVE]
!
KIMAR
Obey my command.
!
VOLDAR
Forget it, Kimar! Rigna was right - he’s nothing
but a toy now. Best to leave him here.
!
SANTA
Believe me, I had nothing whatsoever to do about
this. You know, my dear, I can’t recall a time when you were so
silent for so long!
!
VOLDAR
Let’s go, old man!
[THE MARTIANS LEAD SANTA OUT OF HIS WORKSHOP. SHOTS OF
NEWSPAPERS FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD FILL THE SCREEN, WITH
HEADLINES LIKE “SANTA CLAUS KIDNAPPED BY MARTIANS” and “MARTIANS
KIDNAP SANTA CLAUS”]
INTERIOR, TV STUDIO
!
NEWSCASTER
...and Mrs. Santa Claus has positively
identified the kidnappers as Martians. Never in the history of
mankind have the nations of the world reacted with such
unanimity and cooperation. Tonight, the lights will burn until
dawn in the United Nations building as the leaders of the world
map a course of action. And, at Cape Kennedy, our correspondent
interviewed Werner Von Green, the man in charge of America’s
star-shot program.
!
CORRESPONDENT
Mr. Von Green, what is the space agency
doing about this?
!
VON GREEN [SPEAKS WITH A GERMAN ACCENT] Well, we have
mobilized all the men and equipment in our star-shot project.
And we have rushed our astronauts into an extensive program for
the final phase of their training. Now, our starshot ship is
supposed to undergo six months of test flights, but we are going
to forget about the testing, und go after those Martian monkeys!
!
CORRESPONDENT
Isn’t that risky?
!
VON GREEN
Of course it is risky. But every one of our
astronauts is begging for the chance to go after the Martians.
Who wouldn’t give everything to bring Santa back to our
children?
[MONTAGE OF ROCKETS BEING LAUNCHED, NASA CONTROLLERS, MEN WITH
CREW CUTS WEARING GLASSES, ETC]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[RIGNA IS HUNCHED OVER A CONTROL PANEL]
!
RIGNA
Earth hasn’t reacted yet.
!
KIMAR
No radar beams being bounced off our ship. Looks
like we’ve made a clean getaway!
[HARGO ENTERS, LAUGHING]
!
KIMAR
How’s our captive?
!
HARGO
He’s having the time of his life! He’s such a funny
little man. Why I’ve only been with him for five minutes and he
has me laughing just like an earthling! [LAUGHS] What’s soft,
and round, and - and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a
fire? And it’s green!
!
KIMAR
I don’t know - what?
!
HARGO [LAUGHING VERY HARD] A Martian-mallow!
[ALL THE MARTIANS LAUGH EXCEPT VOLDAR, WHO SHAKES HIS HEAD]
!
VOLDAR
That’s what you’re all becoming - ‘Martianmallows.’ Soft. Weak. That old man is a menace!
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CELL
[SANTA IS SITTING ON A BUNK WITH BETTY AND BILLY]
!
SANTA
...and it was a very foggy Christmas Eve. Well I
could barely make out this chimney in the fog. But I found it
alright and I started to crawl in. Well I tell you, it was the
biggest chimney I’d ever been in! And then suddenly, suddenly I
realized it wasn’t a chimney at all! It was the smokestack of
the Queen Elizabeth!
[SANTA LAUGHS AT HIS OWN JOKE THEN, NOTICING THAT THE CHILDREN
ARE NOT LAUGHING, STOPS]
!
SANTA
Well don’t you think that was funny?
!
BILLY & BETTY (TOGETHER)
Yes, Santa.
!
SANTA
Well, why don’t you laugh?
!
BILLY
Gee Santa, it’s all our fault. We told them where
to find you.
!
SANTA
Oh, balderdash and a-fiddle-dee-dee, Billy boy.
Everybody knows where Santa lives. Besides, I’ve always wanted
to visit Mars.
[DROPO APPEARS AT THE CELL DOOR]
!
BETTY
Mommy and Daddy are going to be angry.
!
SANTA
You think that’s something? I can just see Mrs.
Claus now - Christmas coming and I’m not there. She’ll have a
fit! [LAUGHS WEAKLY] Oh me, oh my, oh me.
[DROPO ENTERS]
!
DROPO
Come and get it! Dinnertime!
!
SANTA
Here’s Dropo! If I can’t cheer you up, Dropo can!
He always makes me laugh!
[DROPO HOLDS OUT A PLATE OF PILLS]
!
DROPO
Ooh, you’ll have a wonderful dinner tonight! Oh
there’s soup, and beef stew, and chocolate ice cream!
!
BILLY
No thank you, Dropo. I’m not hungry.
!
DROPO
Come on, Billy. Oh, well, is it alright if I have
your chocolate ice cream?!
!
BILLY
Sure.
!
DROPO
Oh, I just love chocolate ice cream.
[HE EATS A PILL, AND SIGHS CONTENTEDLY]
!
BETTY
Gee, Mars must be a terrible place to live. Some
chocolate ice cream...
!
SANTA
Pills for dinner, I suppose if a Martian has a
headache, he doesn’t take pills, he takes chocolate ice cream!
[LAUGHS HALF-HEARTEDLY] Oh dear, oh dear.
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[RIGNA LOOKS AT A RADAR SCREEN]
!
RIGNA
Kimar, look at this. That small blip is not an
asteroid. It’s a spaceship and it’s on our tail. It’s getting
closer.
!
KIMAR
Impossible, Rigna. They couldn’t have spotted us we have our radar shield on!
[VOLDAR OPENS THE RADAR BOX, LOOKS INSIDE]
!
RIGNA
I know that, sir, but they are gaining on us!
!
KIMAR
Is it possible Earth has a secret device that can
penetrate our radar shield?
!
VOLDAR
They have a secret device! And his name is Billy
Foster! I warned you that these earthlings are dangerous they’ll destroy us if we allow them! Well, I won’t allow them.
[VOLDAR LEAVES. KIMAR AND RIGNA EXAMINE THE RADAR BOX]
!
KIMAR
I think we underestimate the resourcefulness of
these Earth people. Very clever of the boy. Make the repairs,
Rigna. I’ll take evasive action.
!
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CELL
[VOLDAR ENTERS]
!
VOLDAR
Well...and how is Santa and the little earthlings?
My, it must be tiresome cooped up in this little room.!Say! How
would you like to see the rest of the ship?
!
BILLY
You’re not fooling me. You don’t like us.
!
BETTY
You’re mean!
!
VOLDAR
Oh come on now, that’s not true. Why, Santa makes
everyone feel good - even me!
!
BILLY
I don’t trust you.
!
SANTA
Now, now, Billy boy. That’s not the Christmas
spirit. Why of course, Voldar, we’d love to take the grand tour.
All right, children.
[SANTA STANDS UP AND VOLDAR ESCORTS THEM OUT OF THE CELL]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP AIRLOCK
[VOLDAR, SANTA, BILLY, & BETTY ENTER THE AIRLOCK]
!
VOLDAR
This room is called the !
BILLY
Airlock!!
!
VOLDAR
That’s right!
!
BILLY
Sure! This is where you come when you’re ready to
go out in space. It’s airtight. You put on your spacesuit and go
out through that door! When you come back, the door closes and
you pump air back into the room through there.
[BILLY POINTS TO A SMALL AIR DUCT]
!
BILLY
When it reaches the pressure of the rest of the
ship, you can take your spacesuit off.
!
VOLDAR
Smart lad!
!
SANTA
Where’s the control that opens the door, sir?
!
VOLDAR
Not here. That’s in the control deck. You see,
once you pull that switch, the warning bell sounds, and in 60
seconds, that door opens.
!
BILLY
That’s to give the spacemen a chance to make a
final checkup on their equipment. There’s no air out in space.
If that door were open now, it would pull all the air out of
this room, and us with it!
!
VOLDAR
You certainly know a great deal about space
travel, son.
!
BETTY
He’s going to be a spaceman when he grows up.
!
VOLDAR
[TO HIMSELF] Maybe sooner than that.
[VOLDAR SLIPS OUT, CLOSING THE DOOR. BETTY POINTS AT A CLOCK
ABOVE THE AIRLOCK DOORS]
!
BETTY
Santa, that clock stopped.
!
BILLY
Sixty seconds. That must be the door timer.
[BILLY NOTICES THE CLOSED DOOR AND TRIES TO OPEN IT]
!
BILLY
Santa, he locked us in!
!
SANTA
Oh, I don’t think so. He probably just stepped out
for a moment.
!
BILLY
It’s locked! I don’t trust Voldar! He’s not like
Kimar and the others!
!
BETTY
I don’t like him.
!
BILLY
I’m worried, Santa!
!
SANTA
Now, now, children, let’s not get excited.
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[VOLDAR RUNS IN AND FLIPS A SWITCH MARKED “AIR LOCK DOOR”]
!
VOLDAR [TO HIMSELF}
Too late.
!
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP AIRLOCK
[THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK STARTS]
!
BILLY
It’s Voldar! He’s going to open the space door!
[BILLY POUNDS ON THE DOOR]
!
BILLY
Help, Kimar! Kimar, help!
[QUICK CUT TO VOLDAR, SMILING. THE CLOCK IS RUNNING DOWN. BILLY
LOOKS AROUND IN FRUSTRATION]
!
BILLY
Gee Santa, what are we going to do? What if that
door opens? We haven’t got a chance!
[SANTA EXAMINES THE SMALL AIR VENT]
!
SANTA
Where did you say this leads to, Billy?
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
[VOLDAR COUNTS DOWN]
!
VOLDAR
Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Zero!
[KIMAR AND DROPO ENTER]
!
KIMAR
Who’s in the airlock?
!
VOLDAR
No one...now!
!
KIMAR
What’s going on, Voldar?
!
DROPO
Chief, Santa and the children are missing.
[KIMAR GRABS VOLDAR]
!
KIMAR
Where are they?
[VOLDAR PUSHES KIMAR AWAY]
!
VOLDAR
Drifting around in space. Along with the rest of
the space junk!
[KIMAR ATTACKS VOLDAR AND THEY FIGHT. KIMAR GETS THE UPPER HAND]
!
KIMAR
Before I’m through with you, Voldar, you’ll wish
you were floating around out there in space!
[OFF SCREEN SANTA LAUGHS. KIMAR AND VOLDAR LOOK TO SEE SANTA AND
THE KIDS, ALIVE]
!
SANTA
Merry Christmas, everyone!
!
KIMAR
Santa Claus! You’re all right! I...I thought you
were!
SANTA
Well, when Voldar ‘accidentally’ left us in the
airlock and then came up here and ‘accidentally’ threw the door
switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry, or that
would be the end of us, uh, ‘accidentally,’ of course.
!
BILLY
So he crawled out through the air duct!
!
VOLDAR
The air duct?
!
KIMAR
But the air duct is just a little...and you’re so
big!
[SANTA AND THE CHILDREN LAUGH]
!
SANTA
Well you’re talking to Santa Claus, son.
!
KIMAR
But how !
SANTA
Well now you wouldn’t want me to tell my secret,
would you?
[SANTA AND THE CHILDREN LAUGH AGAIN AS VOLDAR COLLAPSES ON THE
FLOOR]
!
SANTA
Oh, oh, poor man. He’s fainted, just like someone
who’s seen a ghost.
[SANTA AND THE CHILDREN LAUGH AGAIN. WE SEE THE SPACESHIP
APPROACH MARS]
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
!
KIMAR
Begin landing operations.
!
RIGNA
Firing retro rockets one and two - fire!
!
KIMAR
Lower landing legs.
[RIGNA PULLS THE LEVELS TO LOWER THE LEGS]
!
KIMAR
Rigna, after we secure the ship and lower the
ladder, you and Hargo get Voldar out of the brig and take him to
the council room. He’ll stand trial immediately.
!
!
!
!
!
RIGNA
KIMAR
HARGO
RIGNA
KIMAR
Right, chief. We’ve landed.
Hatch open.
Hatch open!
Ladder down.
Power off. Ship secure.
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CELL
[RIGNA AND HARGO ENTER. THERE IS SOMEONE LYING ON THE COT. THEY
ARE BOTH SINGING]
!
RIGNA & HARGO [TOGETHER]
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
jingle all the way!
[THEIR SINGING AWAKENS THE MAN ON THE BED]
!
RIGNA & HARGO [TOGETHER] Oh what fun it is to ride on a
one horse, open sleigh!
!
RIGNA
Ah, Merry Christmas, Voldar! Alright on your feet,
come on.
[THE MAN ON THE BED TURNS OVER. IT IS DROPO, BOUND AND GAGGED.
HE PROTESTS THROUGH HIS GAG]
!
HARGO
Dropo!
[KIMAR TAKES OFF THE GAG]
!
DROPO
I was handing these big pills through the bars, and
he grabbed my !
RIGNA
Shut up, Dropo!
[RIGNA TOUCHES A SWITCH ON HIS BELT]
!
RIGNA
Kimar! Come in quickly! Kimar!
INTERIOR, SPACESHIP CONTROL ROOM
!
KIMAR
Yes, Rigna?
!
RIGNA (VOICE ON RADIO)
Voldar has escaped.
!
KIMAR
What?
!
RIGNA
He’s gone.
!
KIMAR
That can only mean trouble. Put a constant guard on
Santa and the Earth children. Voldar will be back.
[KIMAR EXITS]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[LADY MOMAR WALKS AROUND THE HOME, ADJUSTING DIALS AND SETTINGS.
BOMAR AND GIRMAR ENTER]
!
BOMAR
Mother? Is Father here yet?
!
MOMAR
No, Bomar, I’ll call you the moment he arrives.
!
GIRMAR
Is Dropo coming back too?
!
MOMAR
Yes, Girmar, now go back to your studies.
[THE CHILDREN EXIT. MOMAR SIGHS. KIMAR ENTERS]
!
MOMAR
Oh Kimar!
[THEY HEADBUTT EACH OTHER AFFECTIONATELY]
!
MOMAR
Are you alone?
!
KIMAR
No.
[DROPO ENTERS WITH BETTY AND BILLY]
!
KIMAR
Earthlings. Billy and Betty.
!
MOMAR
Welcome to our home.
[SHE HEADBUTTS EACH OF THE CHILDREN]
!
DROPO
There’s someone else too! Come on! Come on in!
[SANTA ENTERS, CHUCKLING AS ALWAYS]!
!
SANTA
Lady Momar. I’m not accustomed to entering people’s
homes through the door. But you have no chimney!
!
MOMAR
Welcome Santa Claus. We hope you’ll make the
children on Mars very happy.
!
SANTA
I’ll try, dear lady. I’ll try.
[SANTA PATS HER HAND]
!
SANTA
There, there. Where are they?
!
KIMAR
Well, we’ll start with my youngsters. How are they,
Momar?
!
MOMAR
The same: quiet, remote, and very unhappy. They’re
inside, studying.
!
SANTA
Well, let old Santa say hello to them! And I’m sure
these children would like to meet them!
!
KIMA
I’ll tell them you’re here.
INTERIOR, CHILDREN’S ROOM
[BOMAR IS LISTENING TO A ROBOTIC VOICE RECITE EQUATIONS]
!
VOICE
Y over five-Pi-R squared to determine the correct
orbit from Mars to Jupiter traveling along vector A through the
seventeenth quadrant at the power of twelve megatrons.
[KIMAR ENTERS]!
!
GIRMAR
Father! Father, we missed you!
!
KIMAR
Ah, I missed you too!
[HE HEADBUTTS BOTH OF THEM]
!
KIMAR
Children, I brought some visitors from Earth. Will
you come in please, children?
[BETTY AND BILLY ENTER]
!
KIMAR
Billy and Betty, this is Bomar and Girmar.
[BILLY EXTENDS HIS HAND TO BOMAR]
!
BILLY
Hi.
[BOMAR AND GIRMAR EXAMINE HIS OUTSTRETCHED HAND]
!
BOMAR
There’s nothing in it! What are you giving me?
!
BILLY
My hand! To shake.
[BOMAR RELUCTANTLY SHAKES BILLY’S HAND, THEN SMILES]!
!
BOMAR
How old are you?
!
BILLY
Ten.
!
BOMAR
I’m ten too. And Girmar’s eight.
!
BILLY
So’s my sister.
!
KIMAR
We have another Earth person that wants to see you.
[SANTA ENTERS, CHUCKLING. HE LAUGHS AND LOOKS AT THE CHILDREN.
SOON THEY START LAUGHING, AND THEN EVERYONE IS LAUGHING
TOGETHER. TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IT’S KIND OF CREEPY]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[KIMAR, MOMAR, AND DROPO ARE LISTENING TO THE SOUND OF DERANGED
LAUGHTER IN THE NEXT ROOM]
!
DROPO
What’s that?
!
KIMAR
They’re laughing. Bomar and Girmar too.
!
MOMAR
They’ve never laughed before!
!
KIMAR
Come!
[THE DOOR OPENS AND KIMAR AND MOMAR HEAD INTO THE ROOM]
FADE OUT. DISSOLVE TO
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[SANTA, MOMAR, AND KIMAR TIPTOE OUT OF THE CHILDREN’S ROOM]
!
MOMAR
I can’t believe it. That’s the first time in months
they’ve gone to sleep without the sleep spray.
!
KIMAR
Santa, tomorrow we’ll set up a workshop for you. It
won’t be exactly the same as the one you have on Earth, but I’m
sure it’ll serve your purpose.
!
SANTA
Good, good. Now, I’d like to get going and have the
toy shop operating full blast so I can return to Earth for
Christmas. You know, Mrs. Claus is a very good-natured woman,
but I!
KIMAR
Santa Claus. You will never return to Earth.
[IT FINALLY DAWNS ON SANTA]
!
KIMAR
Now you belong to Mars.
!
SANTA [SARCASTICALLY]
Ho, ho ho!
INTERIOR, VOLDAR’S CAVE
[STOBO IS WARMING HIS HANDS BY A FIRE WHILE VOLDAR PACES]
!
VOLDAR
Me, Voldar! Hiding in a dirty cave like a speckled
Mars worm! Oh, Kimar will get this - I’ll find a way!
!
STOBO
That’s easy! Let’s get rid of the little fat friend
in the red suit.
!
VOLDAR
Fool! That’s suicide! Santa Claus is under
constant guard. We couldn’t get within twenty feet of him
without being disintegrated. But I have other plans.
[A SIREN SOUNDS]
!
STOBO
Someone’s approaching the cave!
!
KIMAR
Who?
!
SHIM
It’s me, Shim!
!
VOLDAR
Alright. Turn off the nuclear curtain.
[STOBO FLIPS A SWITCH]
!
VOLDAR
Alright Shim, enter.
[SHIM ENTERS AND VOLDAR GRABS HIM]
!
VOLDAR
What’d you find out?!
!
SHIM
The toy shop is operating full blast. No one
suspects me, so I sneak down and took a good long look. It’s
nothing like the one on Earth - no one is sawing or hammering.
Kimar has built a mechanized assembly line for the old man. Toys
are rolling off by the second! This planet will be flooded with
toys!
[VOLDAR LETS GO OF HIM IN DISGUST]
!
SHIM
Ya know, they got one little toy, it’s the cutest
thing. It’s just a coiled spring, and it goes down steps all by
itself. I was tempted to steal one - I’d like to fool around
with the thing[VOLDAR HITS HIM]
!
VOLDAR
Toys! The decay is setting in! It’s even affecting
you! Soon all of Martians will be blithering idiots. Oh we’ve no
time to lose. We must go into action! Now we cannot eliminate
Santa Claus, but we can discredit him. Make him a laughingstock
throughout Mars.
[VOLDAR PULLS THE OTHER TWO INTO A HUDDLE]
!
VOLDAR
Come on. Now listen carefully The workshop closes
at ten o’clock. The guards will be at Kimar’s house, guarding
Santa Claus. Now this is what we’ll do, see?
[THEY BEGIN TO WHISPER AS WE CUT TO:]
INTERIOR, SANTA’S MARTIAN WORKSHOP
[THE ROOM HAS A GIGANTIC TOY-MAKING MACHINE. BILLY, BOMAR, &
GIRMAR ARE ALL FILLING BASKETS OF TOYS FROM A CONVEYOR BELT,
REGARDLESS OF CHILD LABOR LAWS. DROPO ENTERS]
!
DROPO
Hi Billy! Everything okay?
!
BILLY
Gee Dropo, everything’s great!
!
DROPO
Oh, Santa!
[SANTA SITS IN FRONT OF A LARGE COMPUTER PANEL, WITH BETTY
HELPING HIM]
!
DROPO
Hundreds and thousands of letters from all over
Mars!
!
SANTA
Well of course!
[BETTY READS FROM A LETTER]
!
BETTY
Two dolls.
!
SANTA
Two dolls, yes Betty.
[SANTA PUSHES A BUTTON AND TWO DOLLS EMERGE FROM THE MACHINE]
!
BETTY
Three baseball bats.
!
SANTA
Three baseball bats.
[THE BATS EMERGE FROM THE MACHINE. SANTA APPEARS GLUM]
!
SANTA
Look at me: Santa Claus, the great toymaker,
pressing buttons. That’s automation for you. Technology - yeesh.
Well, that’s enough for today. Let’s close up shop!
[SANTA SHUTS DOWN THE MACHINE AND THE CHILDREN AND DROPO CHATTER
EXCITEDLY. SANTA PICKS UP A NEW SANTA SUIT THAT DROPO IS
ADMIRING]
!
SANTA
Pretty nice, eh? Lady Momar made it for me!
!
DROPO
Can I try it on, Santa?
!
SANTA [LAUGHS] Don’t be silly, Dropo. This would never fit
you! Why, you have to fatten up first!
[SANTA AND THE CHILDREN LAUGH AS THEY ALL EXIT]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[KIMAR AND BOMAR ARE EXAMINING SOME OF SANTA’S TOYS AS SANTA AND
THE CHILDREN ENTER]
!
SANTA
Yes, well, there’s another day gone, children. As
they say on Earth, another day, another dollar.
!
KIMAR
Well, hello Santa! How are you feeling today?
Tired?
!
SANTA
No, no, I’m not tired. But my finger is! It’s been
pressing buttons all day long. [LAUGHS FEEBLY] Well, I think
I’ll go in and put my finger to bed.
[SANTA EXITS. MOMAR HANDS THE CHILDREN SOME PILLS]!
!
MOMAR
Here children, here’s your milk. You can play for
half an hour and then you have to go to bed.
!
GIRMAR
Daddy, may we watch the Earth program?
!
KIMAR
Certainly dear, but only for half an hour!
[BOMAR AND GIRMAR RUN OFF. BILLY AND BETTY LOOK DEJECTED]
!
KIMAR
Billy? Betty? Don’t you want to watch the Earth
program?
!
BILLY
Oh no, sir. We’re not interested in Earth programs.
I’m going to sleep, good night.
!
BETTY
Me too.
!
KIMAR
Just a moment !
BETTY
Goodnight Mr. Kimar. Goodnight Lady Momar.
!
KIMAR
Just a moment, children. Are you feeling well?
!
BILLY
Oh we feel fine, sir. Goodnight.
!
BETTY
Goodnight.!
!
KIMAR
Has someone been...mistreating you?
!
BILLY
Oh no, sir. You and Lady Momar have just been swell
to us. Goodnight.
[THE CHILDREN EXIT]
!
KIMAR
What could it be, Momar? They’re behaving the way
our children used to behave.
!
MOMAR
Can’t you tell, Kimar? They’re homesick. They miss
their parents, their friends - Kimar, you’ve got to send those
children back!
!
KIMAR
Impossible.
INTERIOR, DROPO’S ROOM
[DROPO IS TRYING ON THE SANTA SUIT, WHICH IS TOO BIG FOR HIM]
!
DROPO
Santa says I gotta fatten up.
[DROPO NOTICES SOME FOOD PILLS, AND EATS THEM WITH ABANDON]
!
DROPO
Malted milk! Chocolate cake! Banana split - with
whipped cream!
[HE CHECKS HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR AGAIN AND IS DISAPPOINTED]
!
DROPO
That takes too long.
[DROPO GRABS A PILLOW AND STUFFS IT IN THE SANTA SUIT. HE
ATTACHES A FAKE BEARD AND PUTS ON A SANTA HAT OVER HIS ANTENNAE]
!
DROPO
Oh! Now I’m Santa Claus! Ho ho ho! Ho ho ho, Merry
Christmas everyone! Ho ho ho! My finger isn’t tired! I think
I’ll go down to the workshop and make some more toys! Ho ho ho!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
[HE EXITS]
INTERIOR, SANTA’S WORKSHOP
[VOLDAR, SHIM, & STOBO ENTER WITH FLASHLIGHTS]
!
VOLDAR
Here it is!
[SHIM DROPS SOME TOOLS]
!
VOLDAR
Shhh!
[STOBO DROPS HIS BAG ON VOLDAR’S FOOT. COMEDY ENSUES]
!
VOLDAR
Shim, hold the light. Hold the light!
[VOLDAR HITS HIM AND SHIM TAKES THE LIGHT. VOLDAR OPENS THE
CONTROL PANEL AND CUTS WIRES WITH ABANDON]
!
VOLDAR
Ah, this is gonna shake ‘em up. These toys’ll
never be the same again!
[HE SLAMS THE PANEL CLOSED]
!
VOLDAR
Shh!
!
STOBO
Shh!
!
SHIM
Shh!
!
VOLDAR
SHH!!! Someone’s coming! Quick, down!
[THE THREE HIDE AS DROPO, DRESSED AS SANTA, ENTERS]
!
DROPO
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh
what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh!
!
VOLDAR
What a break! It’s Santa Claus!
!
SHIM
He’s alone. No guards.
[VOLDAR GRABS A RAY GUN AND THE THREE RUSH DROPO]
!
DROPO
Ho...ho...oh!
INTERIOR, VOLDAR’S CAVE
[VOLDAR, SHIM, AND STOBO ENTER WITH DROPO, WHO IS TERRIFIED]
!
VOLDAR
Now stay put, my fat little friend!
[STOBO SHOWS SANTA HIS RAY GUN]
!
STOBO
Hey Santa! How do you like this toy? [LAUGHS]
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho.
!
SHIM
My friend asked ya a question - answer him!
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho!
!
VOLDAR
Quiet, Shim! Put on the nuclear curtain. Tomorrow
marks the end of Operation Santa Claus, and Mars returns to
normal!
[VOLDAR, SHIM, AND STOBO LAUGH]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
!
MOMAR
Dropo? Dropo, you rascal, where are you? Dropo! Oh!
[MOMA KNOCKS ON THE CHILDREN’S DOOR]
!
MOMAR
Children, breakfast is ready.
!
KIMAR
Good morning, dear.
!
MOMAR
Kimar, I can’t find Dropo. His bed hasn’t been
slept in.
!
KIMAR
What’s he up to now?
[SANTA ENTERS]!
!
SANTA
Good morning! Good morning, Lady Momar. Oh, oh my
extra suit - the one you made for me - is missing. I’m sure I
brought it home from the toy shop last night.
!
KIMAR
That’s two things that are missing: your suit and
Dropo.
!
SANTA
What? Oh...ohh! That explains it. When you find my
missing suit, you’ll find Dropo inside it. He’s out someplace
playing Santa Claus.
!
KIMAR
I’ll take care of him.
!
SANTA
Oh no, now, let him have his fun. He’s probably at
the toy shop making toys. - he loves it!
!
MOMAR
Children, will you please hurry! Breakfast is
ready!
[SANTA PICKS UP A VIAL OF FOOD PILLS]
!
SANTA
Yes, yes, if you don’t hurry, your breakfast will
get cold. [LAUGHS]
INTERIOR, SANTA’S MARTIAN WORKSHOP
[SANTA AND THE CHILDREN ENTER]
!
SANTA
Dropo? We’re here!
!
GIRMAR
He’s hiding, Santa!
!
SANTA
Oh, playing hide and seek, eh? All right Dropo,
here we come, ready or not!
[THE CHILDREN LOOK FOR DROPO]
!
BILLY
He’s not here, Santa!
!
SANTA
That’s funny. Oh well, he’ll turn up. Let’s get
started!
[SANTA TURNS THE MACHINE ON AND THE CHILDREN TAKE THEIR PLACES]
!
SANTA
Okay Betty, okay. Let’s go.
!
BETTY
One teddy bear and one doll.
!
SANTA
One teddy bear and one doll!
[THE MACHINE PRODUCES A DOLL WITH A BEAR’S BODY AND A DOLL WITH
A BEAR’S HEAD. IT IS UPSETTING]
!
BOMAR
Santa, stop the machine! Look!
!
GIRMAR
The doll has a teddy bear’s head, and the teddy
bear has a doll’s head!
!
SANTA
I can’t understand it! Let’s try it again. What’s
next, Betty?
!
BETTY
One baseball bat
[THE MACHINE PRODUCES A BASEBALL BAT WITH A TENNIS RACKET
ATTACHED]
!
SANTA
A baseball tennis racket? Why this’ll never do! The
machine isn’t working right! Oh dear, what else, Betty?
!
BETTY
A toy train.
!
SANTA
A toy train. Well all righty.
[THE MACHINE PRODUCES A TRAIN/CAR HYBRID, WHICH BOMAR BRINGS TO
SANTA]
!
BOMAR
Look at that!
!
SANTA
Why this doesn’t make sense! Well, this never
happened when we made toys by hand! Something very strange is
happening here. Bomar, I think you’d better call your father.
[BOMAR USES HIS BELT RADIO]
!
BOMAR
Father? Father, this is Bomar.
!
KIMAR (VOICE)
Yes Bomar?
!
BOMAR
Father, we’re in the toy shop. Dropo isn’t here and
there’s something wrong with the toy machine too!
!
KIMAR (VOICE)
I’ll be right over!
INTERIOR, VOLDAR’S CAVE
[DROPO IS COWERING IN THE SANTA SUIT AS VOLDAR ENTERS]
!
VOLDAR
It’s time to go. Shim, wake up!
[HE THUMPS SHIM ON THE HEAD]
!
SHIM
I still think you’re making a mistake. It’s too
dangerous, walking right into the enemy camp!
!
VOLDAR
Kimar or his men wouldn’t dare lay a finger on us
- not while we’re keeping Santa Claus a hostage! Now if we’re
not back in three hours, you know what to do. All right Shim,
open the nuclear curtain.
[SHIM FLIPS A SWITCH AND A LIGHT ON THE PANEL CHANGES FROM RED
TO GREEN. VOLDAR AND STOBO EXIT. SHIM SWITCHES IT BACK TO RED]
!
SHIM
Just a word of warning: if you got any big ideas,
forget ‘em! If you walk through that nuclear curtain, you’ll be
disintegrated like [SNAPS FINGERS] that!
[SHIM WALKS AWAY. DROPO SNEAKS OVER TO THE CONTROL PANEL]
INTERIOR, SANTA’S MARTIAN WORKSHOP
[KIMAR EXAMINES THE MACHINE’S INNARDS]
!
KIMAR
Sabotage! Somebody switched all the wiring. Dropo’s
gone, your suit is missing, and now this machine’s been
sabotaged. Put them all together, it spells Voldar!
!
SANTA
He was here, and he thought Dropo was me.
!
KIMAR
He’s got Dropo. And I’m going to find him.
!
SANTA
Poor Dropo.
INTERIOR, HALLWAY
[KIMAR EXITS AND RUNS INTO STOBO & VOLDAR]
!
VOLDAR
Surprised to see us?
!
KIMAR
You’re under arrest, Voldar!
[VOLDAR & STOBO LAUGH]
!
VOLDAR
Stop playing with toys. Put it away, Kimar! We
have a weapon that’s much more potent than that! As you may
know, we are holding Santa Claus a hostage! One false move, and
your little ho-ho-ho man will be destroyed!
[SHIM LAUGHS]
!
KIMAR
Alright, what do you want, Voldar?
!
VOLDAR
These are our terms. First: Destroy the toy
machine. Second: we will release Santa Claus if you promise to
send him and the earthlings back to their planet. Third: no more
‘joy through toys’ nonsense on Mars. Well?
!
KIMAR
Well, you win.
[VOLDAR AND STOBO SHAKE HANDS]
!
KIMAR
Are you sure you have Santa Claus?
!
VOLDAR
You know we have him.
!
KIMAR
You mean you had him!
[KIMAR OPENS THE DOOR TO THE WORKSHOP. VOLDAR & STOBO LOOK
INSIDE]
!
STOBO How did he get out of the cave?
!
VOLDAR
Shim, that idiot!
!
STOBO
And how’d he get here so fast?
!
KIMAR
Santa Claus has powers that you don’t know about.
All right, arms up!
[VOLDAR & STOBO RAISE THEIR HANDS WHILE KIMAR USES HIS RADIO
BELT]
!
KIMAR
Rigna, Hargo, Lomas, report!
!
RIGNA (VOICE)
This is Rigna, Kimar. Hargo and Lomas are
with me.
!
KIMAR
Good! I’ve got Voldar and Stobo. I’ll keep them
here in the storeroom of the toyshop. Rigna, you come here and
take them off my hands. I want Hargo and Lomas to look for a man
named Shim. Tell them to search the caves along the Transverse
Canal.
!
RIGNA (VOICE)
Right, Kimar.
!
KIMAR
All right you two - in there!
[VOLDAR AND SHIM WALK INTO THE STOREROOM]
!
KIMAR
Alright, you might as well relax! You’re going to
be here for a while, sit down.
INTERIOR, VOLDAR’S CAVE
[WHILE SHIM ISN”T LOOKING, DROPO TURNS OFF THE NUCLEAR CURTAIN
AND SWITCHES THE LIGHT BULBS, SO IT SHOWS RED. DROPO RUNS TO THE
EXIT]
!
SHIM
Where are you going?
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho!
!
SHIM
Can’t you say anything else but ‘Ho Ho Ho’?
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho!
!
SHIM
If you’re thinking of leaving, Santa, let me remind
you: once you hit that nuclear curtain, there won’t even be a
whisker left!
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho!!!
[DROPO RUNS OUT OF THE CAVE]
!
SHIM
Hey, Santa, be careful!
[SHIM LOOKS AT THE NUCLEAR CURTAIN CONTROL PANEL, CONFUSED]
INTERIOR, STOREROOM
!
VOLDAR
What are you going to do with us?
!
KIMAR
You’re going to stand trial before the council! I
don’t think you’ll be causing any more trouble!
[VOLDAR HITS A BOARD WHICH FLIES INTO KIMAR’S FACE. THERE IS A
BRIEF FIGHT AND KIMAR IS KNOCKED OUT]
INTERIOR, SANTA’S MARTIAN WORKSHOP
[SANTA IS TINKERING WITH THE TOY MAKING MACHINE]
!
SANTA
Well now, I think that should do it, Billy boy.
Close the door, son. Now, I think we need a little red paint,
and you’ll find it in the storeroom.
!
BILLY
Sure, Santa.
!
SANTA
Yes. That’s a good boy.
[BILLY WALKS TO THE STOREROOM AND STOPS. HE OVERHEARS VOLDAR
TALKING]
!
VOLDAR
This time I’ll take care of Santa Claus for good,
and smash that machine!
[BILLY RUNS BACK TO THE WORKSHOP]
!
BILLY
Santa! Santa! Voldar and another man are in the
storeroom and they’re coming to get you!
!
SANTA
Oh they are, are they? Well, maybe they’d like to
have some fun with our toys, and we’ll see that they do - won’t
we, kids?
[THE CHILDREN THEY HUDDLE AROUND SANTA AS HE WHISPERS A PLAN]
DISSOLVE TO:
INTERIOR, SANTA’S MARTIAN WORKSHOP
[SANTA IS SITTING WITH HIS PIPE WHEN VOLDAR ENTERS]
!
SANTA
Oh ho! We meet again, eh?
!
VOLDAR
I don’t know how you escaped Shim, but you won’t
escape me! You’re through!
!
SANTA
Voldar, why don’t you, uh, relax?
[VOLDAR COCKS HIS RAY GUN]
!
VOLDAR
You’re going to relax, permanently!
[A JET OF WATER HITS VOLDAR IN THE FACE. THE KIDS ATTACK VOLDAR
WITH SQUIRT GUNS, BUBBLE MAKERS, PING PONG BALL GUNS, BALLS, TOY
AIRPLANES, ETC. VOLDAR IS CONFUSED AND TRIES TO FIGHT THEM OFF.
SANTA, LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY, DOES LITTLE TO HELP. VOLDAR IS
SOMEHOW INTIMIDATED BY CHILDREN’S TOYS, WHILE STOBO HIDES IN THE
HALLWAY. DROPO, DRESSED AS SANTA, RUNS INTO STOBO]
!
STOBO
You! But you’re not here! You’re in there!
!
DROPO
Oh, yeah, you’re right! I’m not here - I’m in
there!
!
STOBO
Wait a minute - I’m gonna see who Voldar’s fighting
in there!
[STOBO LOOKS IN AND GETS A PING PONG BALL IN THE MOUTH]
!
DROPO
What happened?
!
STOBO
I don’t know what’s going on in there, but I’m
gonna take care of you myself!
[KIMAR EMERGES FROM THE STOREROOM]!
! DROPO
Now just a minute, I’d like to talk to [KIMAR GRABS THE RAY GUN FROM STOBO]
!
DROPO
Oh boy, Chief, am I glad to see you!
!
KIMAR
Alright, inside Stobo.
[THEY ENTER THE WORKSHOP, WHERE TOYS ARE STILL FLYING AROUND]
!
KIMAR
Alright kids, you can stop now! I said cease fire!
[THE CHILDREN STOP]
!
KIMAR
Alright Rigna, take them away - they’ve had a rough
day.
[RIGNA LEADS VOLDAR AND STOBO OUT OF THE ROOM]
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho, everybody! Merry Christmas!
[EVERYONE LAUGHS AS SANTA HUGS DROPO]
!
SANTA
You don’t need me here, Kimar. You’ve got a
wonderful Santa Claus of your own!
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho!
[MORE LAUGHING AS THE SCENE ENDS]
INTERIOR, MARTIAN HOME
[THE MARTIAN FAMILY, SANTA, AND CHILDREN SAY GOODBYE]
!
MOMAR
Goodbye, Billy.
!
BILLY
Goodbye.
!
MOMAR
Goodbye, Betty dear. You take care of yourself.
!
BETTY
Bye.
!
BOMAR
I’ve got something for you, Billy.
[BOMAR HANDS HIM A GIFT]
!
BILLY
Gee thanks!
!
BOMAR
Goodbye!
!
BILLY
Bye. Gee we had fun!
!
GIRMAR
We’re going to miss you.
!
BETTY
Do you think we’ll ever meet again?
!
MOMAR
I’m sure you will, children. Thank you, Santa, for
bringing happiness to the children of Mars.
!
KIMAR
And the Christmas spirit to all of us.
!
SANTA
Son, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you, and
yours, the very best of everything.
[DROPO, NEEDING ATTENTION, ENTERS. HE HAS AN ENORMOUS STOMACH]
!
DROPO
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas, everybody! Dropo Claus
is here! Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
!
MOMAR
Dropo, you’ve put on weight!
[SANTA LAUGHS]
!
DROPO
Oh, yes! No pillows, look!
[KIMAR PUNCTURES THE BALLOON UNDER DROPO’S SUIT. EVERYONE
LAUGHS]
!
SANTA
Now, if we hurry, we can get back in time for
Christmas Eve.
!
BILLY & BETTY
Yay!
!
SANTA
Shall we get going?!
!
BILLY & BETTY
Yay!
!
SANTA
Goodbye, dear friends. Away! Merry Christmas! Away!
[SANTA, BILLY, & BETTY EXIT]
!
KIMAR
Bye, Santa Claus!
[THE MARTIAN SHIP HEADS BACK TO EARTH, AS ‘HOORAY FOR SANTY
CLAUS’ PLAYS]
!
!
Hang up that mistletoe
!
Soon you’ll hear Ho! Ho! Ho!
!
On Christmas Day
!
!
You’ll wake up and you’ll say
Hooray for Santy Claus!
!
!
S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S
Hooray for Santy Claus!
THE END