How to Write Concrete Details
Concrete details are
 paraphrased or quoted sentences from the work of literature
 specific details for which a page number can be cited
 the ―facts‖ of the story
Concrete details are NOT
 the opinion or interpretation of the essay writer
 general ideas obtained from the whole work of literature
Two Types of Concrete Details
There are two ways to structure concrete detail in a literature-based essay. All the examples here are taken
from Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.
1. Paraphrase
You may paraphrase concrete detail—say something from the story in your own words.
Example: After George kills Lennie, Slim tells him he did the right thing (Steinbeck 107).
NOTE: Even in the case of paraphrases, a concrete detail must be specific enough that you can point to
it on a particular page. Page numbers must be cited for ALL concrete details, including
paraphrases.
2. Quotations
a. Always incorporate quoted phrases into your own sentence structure.
Ineffective: Lennie’s strength overpowered Curley. ―The next minute Curley was flopping like a
fish on a line, and his closed fish was lost in Lennie’s big hand.‖ ―Curley was white and shrunken
by now, and his struggling had become weak. He stood crying, his fist lost in Lennie’s paw‖
(Steinbeck 63).
Effective: Lennie’s strength so overpowered Curley that Curley looked ―like a fish on a line‖
with his ―fist lost in Lennie’s paw‖ (Steinbeck 63).
b. Work the quoted material smoothly into your sentence structure.
Ineffective: Steinbeck describes Lennie in animal-like terms by saying, ―Lennie dabbled his
paw in the water‖ (3).
Ineffective: ―Lennie dabbled his big paw in the water‖ shows how Steinbeck describes Lennie
in animal-like terms (3).
Effective: Like a big bear, ―Lennie dabbled his paw in the water‖ (Steinbeck 3).
c. You may alter a quote for clarity by placing the change in brackets.
Original/Ineffective: George said, ―That mouse ain’t fresh, Lennie; and besides, you’ve
broken it pettin’ it‖ (Steinbeck 9).
Changed/Effective: Steinbeck foreshadows Lennie’s troubles early in the novel when Lennie
has ―broken [the mouse] pettin’ it‖ (9).
d. If you omit material in order to be concise, mark the omission with three periods
(called an ellipsis) with a space between each. You do not need to use these at
the beginning and end of your quotations. It is understood that you are taking
passages from a longer work.
Original: ―Curley was white and shrunken by now, and his struggling had become weak. He
stood crying, his fist lost in Lennie’s paw‖ (Steinbeck 63).
With ellipsis: As Lennie continued to crush Curley’s fist, Curley turned ―white and
shrunken…his fist lost in Lennie’s paw‖ (Steinbeck 63).
How to Incorporate Quotations
Well-written quotation concrete details have three parts:
1. Transition
– For example, for instance, in addition, moreover, furthermore
2. Lead-in
– Name the character and describe the situation. Choose one of the following words
to start the lead-in: when, after, since, while, before, although.
3. Quotation
– include MLA parenthetical citation
Example:
In addition, when Priscilla meets the Kobra in the hall, she ―bangs [him]
with her hand…and makes him let go of Melvin‖ (4).
For example, although George noticed that the violent scenes of Africa had replaced
his children’s happier fantasies at least one month ago, ―being busy, he had paid it
no attention‖ (Bradbury 5).
Furthermore, when Gene accuses Finny of trying to ruin his grades, Finny explains
that he simply did not ―think [Gene] needed to study‖ (Knowles 50).
How to do an MLA Parenthetical Citation
It is necessary to cite quoted and paraphrased material taken from an author’s work to avoid plagiarism.
MLA parenthetical citation includes the author’s last name and the page number inside parentheses. For
example, (Steinbeck 63). The citation should appear between the last word of the sentence and the period.
If the citation appears directly after quoted material, it should be placed after the quotation marks. Do
NOT use commas in citations. If the author’s last name is used in the sentence, it does not need to be
repeated in the citation. Look carefully at the citations included in the concrete details above for examples.