5775 Adar
jewish reconstructionist congregation
jrcPurimNu’s
Je suis
Vo l ume x x i vc Num b er i x i
Steve Martin to Perform with Oy Vey Café
Fresh from his hosting duties at the SNL’s 40th anniversary
celebration, Steve Martin is coming to Evanston to celebrate Purim
with JRC! Sharon Diaz, our executive director, said, “I nearly fell
off my chair when I realized who was calling to get the details about
joining us this year. When I kept asking him, who he was, he said,
‘you know, that Steve Martin, one wild and crazy goy.’”
Stan Cohn, emcee of the Café said, “we are working Steve into
the lineup and it’s just amazing how many ideas he has, for a
guy who admits he’s never heard of hamentaschen—prune, poppy seed, or otherwise.”
Rumor has it that Steve will be bringing his banjo and doing a guest spot with Heavy
Shtetl and the Alte Rockers. Dare we look forward to a reworking of King Tut as
Ramses with OCD—the real reason Pharaoh couldn’t let the people go?
NOT TO BE MISSED!
Reserve now at EventBrite-OneWild&CrazyGoy-JRC
IN THIS ISSUE
2 a not so high note
from our cantor
minyan road show
3 president’s column
jrc opens mikvah
4 missing dead sea
scrolls found
5 b’nai mitzvah prof iles
youth group kallah
6 jrc book club
purim at jrc rises again
kvetch korner
7 library update
highly classif i ed ads
Interim Rabbi Task Force Report—
Neither Marla Baker Nor Carol Goldbaum, Co-chairs
JRC’s interim rabbi job posting was sent to the Reconstructionist Placement Office
on January 5 with a February 1 deadline. We did not receive any responses from our
posting with the RRA. We are not concerned that JRC is perceived as an undesirable
interim pulpit, which some former members would allege is true. Rather, there are very
few Reconstructionist rabbis who serve in interim posts (they tend to be too proud to do
part-time gigs), and, of those few, no one we would have wanted was available. We have
now applied to the Central Conference of American Rabbis of the Reform movement.
They have a formal program for interim rabbis and thus more potential of having
candidates. We have already received several resumes from the Reform Placement office
posting. And although we were planning to bring in the top candidate in April for you
to meet, we’ve decided, screw all this process! and made our own selection.
Please welcome our interim rabbi, Ramona Bambi Schwartzbergermizrachinelson.
Rambam, as she is affectionately known, graduated at the top of her class at Phoenix
University with a major in Handicrafts and a minor in Medieval French Jewish
Culinary Arts, specializing in white bread, pigeons, red wine and gingerbread.
A former Miss Understood USA finalist who believes in Freedom of Expression, she is
looking forward to being our rabbi and working very, very closely with Cantor Howard,
misleading Torah Study, and helping JRC in its search for Truth, Justice and the
American Way, albeit with a Veto.
Rabbi Schwartzbergermisrachinelson can be reached through the JRC office: 847.328.7678. In case of emergency, keep
breathing heavily. Email address: rabbi@hi,y’all.jrc-evanston.org
Rambam
Schwartbergermizrachinelson
Occasionally affiliated with
Jewish Reconstructionist Communities
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A Not So High Note from Our Cantor
— Howard Friedland
Chaverim,
As you well know, we are recovering from a pipe that burst in January
and left water throughout the first floor. Things are dry now and repairs
are underway. We had a bat mitzvah on the day of the flood and moved our
service to Niles Township Jewish Congregation. They saved the day!
But I got to thinking: Why not make lemonade out of lemons? To that
end, next calendar year, JRC will be offering a new option to b’nai
mitzvah families: the bar/bat mitzvah cruise.
No need to book fancy tickets to the Caribbean. We’ll auction off Parashat
Noach in the fall. We’ll turn all of the water faucets on and overflow the
toilets for your special day! All of your guests can bring their pets (and
they will all be blessed, as is the fashion in forward-thinking synagogues
today). Ushers will greet people at the door and give each of them a
personalized life vest that will say something like, “I nearly drowned at
Bethany’s bat mitzvah! Ahoy Vay!”
For the kiddush, you can serve bagels with live lox that your guests will catch
themselves in the surrounding water. And to top it off, we’ll “swim” a hora played by
a klezmer band on rubber rafts.
Of course, a cruise is nothing without a side trip, so we’ll journey across the street to
the Levy Center, where we will envy people with dry pant legs whose shoes don’t slosh
with every step. Book now!!!
Minyan Takes Show on Road
Thanks to a highly successful Kickstarter campaign to fund the startup of a
franchise called “DIY Minyan,” members of the JRC minyan will be flying to
Bentonville, AK to train Jews in how to create a vibrant and respectfully “wild and
crazy” Shabbat experience for not only Jews, but for anyone and everyone who wants
to participate.
Bentonville was featured in a recent Forward article (“O Little Town of Bentonville”,
2/6/15), which described an interfaith service led by Rabbi Rob Lennick that
included clergy and worshippers from local Christian churches, the Hindu
Association of Northwest Arkansas, and an Imam from the local Bentonville Islamic
Center. Comments on Rabbi Lennick’s shul’s Facebook page were very positive,
including this one: “That is what true Christians do.” Now the Rabbi wonders how
to keep this amazing vibe going. “How do I continue to plan for such a diverse group
with such different beliefs, backgrounds, and food preferences?”
Reconstructionists to the rescue! Ruth Wenger, JRC’s Minyan Coordinator, said,
“No problem, Rabbi Lennick! Our JRC minyan is a very diverse group—Jews by
birth who are committed to Judaism, lukewarm about Judaism, or who question
absolutely everything about Judaism; Jews who have no questions but just like to
argue; gung-ho Jews by choice; non-Jews who got stuck with us, philosophical
Buddhist Jews; purely socialist Jews; people with nut allergies; and kosher vegans, to
name only a few. Bentonville will be a piece of cake—sponge cake.”
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Tuchas afn Tisch— David Tabak, President
Dear
JRC OPENS MIKVAH
President David Tabak
has announced that JRC
will open the first Mikvah
in south Evanston.
He confirmed that the
new ritual bath had not
been planned but was a
spontaneous decision.
“We saw an opportunity
and decided to take the
plunge,” Tabak said.
According to Halakah,
a Mikvah must be
connected to a natural
spring or well of naturally
occurring water, and thus
can be supplied by rivers
and lakes which have
natural springs as
their source.
“The water in our Mikvah
is just bubbling up from
the ground and through
the walls, so we are totally
kosher there,” Tabak
informed.
The JRC Mikvah is located
anywhere on the first
floor. It is open to all who
want to wade in and is
gender egalitarian.
Thank you for your continued membership in our
home. To say that it has been an honor
Adjective
to be president is a
your
Adjective
and
. It has been a
Noun
for all of us. I recognize that many are still
Noun
and
Adjective
. I thank you for
Noun
and for your
Noun
, while others are
Adjective
to move on. Please be
Adjective
Be
to those whose
Adjective
difficult to be
in his
your
I was
Proper Noun – Plural
Number
to
engaged in the
as
Adjective
—
Noun
Plural Verb – Past Tense
may not have been changed, but
the
Adjective
to a
Noun
Noun – Plural
Noun
Noun
Hebrew Collective Noun
Noun
Noun
Noun – Plural
were softened. This is
, but to each other. As with most
in life, Teshuvah is a
Adjective
, not a
Noun
. And I urge you to continue to reach out to each other with
,
and
Noun
, as my term as JRC
Adjective
Verb – Base Form
Noun
Noun
Noun – Plural
.
comes to a close, I can
of this congregation
the treacherous waters to
Adjective
. They are too numerous to name, but they have my undying
and
.
Noun
Noun
. I am forever
Noun
Hebrew salutation that may or may not be used correctly
David
each other.
of Teshuvah, returning not only
Finally, let me just say, thank you for this
Adjective
. I also
and
Noun – Plural
Noun
only thank the many
Noun
who
Noun
Noun
.
, something that
Noun
did not correspond to their understanding of the
witnessed the
Verb – Base Form
Noun – Plural
work of
Adjective
group
Adjective
and to
Verb – Base Form
by the resiliency of JRC
Adjective
until you have stood
Noun
.” (2:5).
In the past months, we have hosted
meetings for
you may not share. It is
Noun – Plural
Verb – Base Form
Noun – Plural
.
Noun
with those with whom we disagree. As we read in
Adjective
Pirkei Avot: “Do not
Adjective
with each other as
Adjective
we write the next chapter in our community’s
who helped us
Purim Nu’s’s
Mishuganah Contributors:
Terri Bernsohn
Chantal Blaustein
Stan Cohn
Marie Davidson
Joan Dumser
Eva Eisenstein
Howard Friedland
Charlene Gelber
Darlene Grossman
David Tabak
,
Hebrew Collective Noun
,
and
Adjective
.
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Missing Dead Sea Scroll Found in JRC Archives
One of the final projects of JRC’s Jubilee year was to organize the boxes of print
materials related to the congregation’s history that had been stored off-site for
many years. Marie Davidson, our Jubilee projects co-chair, recently reported to the
Executive Committee that our sharp-eyed archivist, Amanda Axel, had discovered
the Book of Esther, one of the Dead Sea Scrolls that had never been found, wedged in
with Bnai Mitzvah booklets from the 1980’s.
Amanda said, “I knew right away I was looking at something way more important
than JRC Board minutes.” She immediately placed the scroll in an archival strength
Baggie and twist tie for further scrutiny. Davidson was able to get her old friend,
Professor Paul Mosca from the University of British Columbia and a specialist in
Ancient Near Eastern studies, to take a look at the document. Mosca determined the
authenticity of the scroll. “It’s an unbelievable find and it will make your shul rich
as hell.”
Like the Scroll?
Don’t miss the movie!
Showing at JRC on March 32!
(Wretched coffee and hot water
will be served; bring your own
bottles, hamentaschen and
gregors.)
“We think this was purchased by a JRC member on the first congregational trip
to Israel in 1980, probably in the shuk in the Old City of Jerusalem,” Davidson
said, “and clearly neither the seller nor the buyer had a clue as to what this was.”
The Israel Museum has negotiated a handsome price for purchase of the scroll and
a representative will fly to Chicago after the Israeli election to take it back to The
Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem. Until then, it’s in a box under the counter in the
JRC library because there is “no room” in the building for storage.
Reached for his comment, President David Tabak said, “I know that we
Reconstructionists don’t believe in miracles, but this influx of unexpected revenue
will not only retire the mortgage, it will pay for a leadership-building-week-long
retreat for the JRC Board in the Grand Caymans. C’mon now—that’s a miracle.”
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B’nai Mitzvah Profiles — Terri Bernsohn, School Director
Kelley Green
Saturday, March 5
Kelley Greene attends the Elizabeth Taylor-Hilton-Wilding-Todd-Fisher-BurtonBurton-Warner-Fortensky School of the Arts in Lakeview. Kelley’s favorite things
about being Jewish are searching for chametz, and eating a very delicious sandwich
in front of her older sister on Yom Kippur. For her tzedakah project, Kelley is
delivering meals to actors who have actually broken a leg.
Shana Goldberg-Golden
Saturday, March 12
Shana is a 4th grader at Marie Curie School for the Outrageously Gifted. She will
be attending Stanford University in the fall. In addition to becoming bat mitzvah,
in the coming months Shana will be going through puberty, getting braces,
breaking out in acne, having her braces removed and riding to prom in a party
limo. Shana’s hobbies are solving quadratic equations and learning to ride her
bike with no hands. Her favorite thing about being Jewish is that an anagram for
L’shanah Tovah is Hot Navel Hash.
Geoffrey Gersh
Tuesday, March 22
Geoff is a 7th grader at David Blaine Magic Academy in Skokie. Whoops, you thought
it was in Skokie, but now it’s behind your ear! Geoffrey’s tzedakah project is written on this
piece of paper that he is folding and ripping, folding and ripping. Wait! It’s in your
pocket, all in one piece! Geoffrey is raising funds to send underprivileged children
to Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Clown College. His favorite thing about
being Jewish is...What?!? I’m Jewish?!?!
Youth Group Kallah — Chantal Blaustein, Advisor
It has been a very cold winter, but that did not keep our youth group inside.
We took a field trip to Lake Michigan and had a wonderful skating event.
Safety, of course, is always a priority so we went during the minus 20 degree
weather to make sure the ice was solid. Only minor casualties to report.
We are going to be very busy this coming month with two activities coming up.
• The first activity will be to TP Mr. Arnet’s house. Please register soon as slots
are already filling up! We will need each child to bring two rolls of toilet
paper, unused if possible, but we all know the importance of saving paper!!
Parent volunteers are needed to keep watch while the kids are participating
in the activity. Obviously, the event is in Mr. Arnet’s yard from 1 am to 2 am
on March 3oth. Snacks will not be provided because of time constraints.
• Although Broomball is always a hit, in order to give our Cantor a break
from the ice, we will have a sumo wrestling match instead. We need adult
volunteers; Cantor Howard is looking forward to getting closer with our JRC
parents and students. All are welcome to participate, for sanitary reasons
please bring your own uniform. This event will be held at the JRC Arena.
Everyone is welcome to come to our Youth Group for enriching, safe and
fully educational activities!!! Bring Bubbe and Zayde, too!
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JRC Book Club — Charlene Gelber
The JRC Book Group will be reading the following selections for discussion.
(Good luck getting copies, many of these titles aren’t even available yet.)
• Gonniff Girl Not only is the protagonist a liar and a cheat, she’s also a thief.
• American Schlepper It’s about the guy who carries all that equipment to the
fighting and packs up what’s left to go home.
• Fifty Sheitels of Gray A wigmaker realizes she made too many gray sheitels—
everyone wants to be a blond.
• One Hundred Years of Solitude A Jewish mother sits in the dark because no
one would change the light bulbs.
• The Invention of Wings On Shabbas, the Cohens got tired of eating just boiled
chicken breasts.
• The Hunger Games The shanda continues in the Shapiros’ home; maybe they’ll
read the book above.
• Yentl The main character finally gets her wish and gets a job as the rabbi of JRC.
Purim at JRC R ises Again
The theme this year will be “Let’s give it up for Lent!”
At their last meeting the JRC Bored voted to give up Judaism this Adar and celebrate
Easter instead.
Programming for the little ones includes an outdoor Easter Egg Hunt (boundaries:
South Evanston) with a surprise—oops, guess not!—visit by the Easter Bunny and
Uncle Mistletoe, released from his Christmas-only gig.
Every child attending will receive a cheap plastic basket made in China filled with
fake grass, jellybeans, gumdrops and a chocolate bunny—enough sugar to keep
them hyper for days. There will even be egg decorating, an Easter Parade, and a
Homemade Easter Bonnet contest.
The adults, meanwhile, will laze around and enjoy the traditional Easter dinner in
the social hall featuring honey glazed ham, potatoes au gratin, overcooked asparagus
and Aunt Esther’s coconut cake.
Register online at eventbrite:jrc-easterteaser
Kvetch Korner
kvetch (kvech) Slang
verb. kvetched, kvetch·ing, kvetch·es
To complain persistently and whiningly.
noun.
1. A chronic, whining complainer.
2. A nagging complaint: “a rambling
kvetch against the system”.
[Yiddish kvetshn, to squeeze, complain,
from Middle High German quetzen,
quetschen, to squeeze.]
(Expect this to be on the final exam.)
Mazal tov to Abe and Sadie Blustein, who celebrated their 80th Anniversary! When
asked the key to a successful long-term marriage, Abe replied: “Every morning I
look at myself in the bathroom mirror and say, ‘So, nu, you’re no prize either.’”
Offering her advice to prospective couples, Sadie added: “Vait till you’re 50!!”
Distraught over the number of young Jews inter-marrying, Hym and Sheesa
Altecocker figured out how to make things work in their favor. “We bought stock
in Goys R Us. So as we buy the schlacky miniature Christmas trees and verstunkene
chocolate Easter bunnies for our grandchildren, we’re supporting our investment
and watching our portfolio grow. :-- D”
Congratulations to Shayna and Bernie Goldfenster on the 6th marriage of their
daughter Tikvah to Howie Cummagen. The happy couple will be honeymooning in
the Virgin Islands where Selma will be recycled.
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Library Update — Eva Eisenstein, Librarian
It has been noted in the Jewish library world that increasingly, books originally published
in Israel only in Hebrew are now being published in English, even many years after
the original publication, such as one title from 1948. But the original publication
dates go back even further on other titles. To keep our JRC library current with recent
translations of Hebrew literature, below are listed a few titles recently acquired.
• My Life as Queen/My Life in Banishment by Vashti ben Belshazzar. Midrash
Press, 601 b c e
A tell-all account of what really went on in the court of King Ahasueras. You will not
be able to put this book down, as she gives details of wild, drunken parties, political
intrigue, and “romantic” liaisons of well-known members of the King’s court. However,
the second half of the book is an account of what life is like as a banished “non-person,”
with limited movement. Being the resourceful, strong-willed person she is, she is able
to make this difficult time of her life worthwhile, and fascinating to her readers.
• From Jewish Orphan to Persian Queen: My Unlikely Life in Shushan by “Esther.”
Persia Press, 598 b c e
Being an orphan at a young age, Esther—born Hadassah—never knew her family name,
and therefore just used Esther, once she left her Jewish environs for a life at court. And
what an unlikely life this is! It has pathos, cowardice, bravery, intrigue, sex, violence,
power, and when royalty is involved, there is the added frisson of lashon harah. Who can
resist that? Dash to the library for this book—you won’t be disappointed.
• Haman: Archetype of Evil or Deranged Astrologer? Edited, with commentary, by
Mordecai Bilshan, Shushan Publishers Inc., 597 b c e
While not a memoir, this volume is based on the daily journal kept by Haman the
Agagite. The editor, on assuming office as advisor to King Ahasueras, discovered this
valuable artifact in the rooms vacated by Haman. How, one can reasonably ask, could
Mordecai be a non-partisan commentator? With this question in mind, I recommend
you read the book, and then judge for yourself. This is more of an annotated diary, as
in the Annotated Alice in Wonderland or the Annotated Mother Goose Rhymes, so you do see the
original jottings with Mordecai’s comments on the side. I, for one, couldn’t put this
book down; it’s a page-turner!
The Library is on the 3rd Floor, east end of the building, facing the lake. Librarian hours are only on
Shabbat; any other days of the week would be sacrilegious.
Highly Classified Ads
Stan Cohn, Editor
For Sale: Antique and Vintage
Products to aid in composing
Weekly Torah Portion Messages:
Kasha D’varnishkas, Rust-o-Lim
Wood D’varnish, 1st Edition
Copies of “A Bridge Too D’var,”
Classic Torah Study poster—In a
Galaxy D’var D’var Away, 1970s
Self-help book: How to Solicit
Torah Commentaries from Large
Frenzied Groups or D’var from
the Madding Crowd. Payment
can be made in cash, PayPal, or
Pesukim.
For Sale: Non-prophet
organization selling out all of
its equipment. Products using
Nabal® batteries will last 10 days
before recharging (see Samuel
25:38). Interested parties should
check availability (see Judges
18:5). All items are purchased “as
is” (see Isaiah 8:15). All inquiries
will be answered if received with
the proper kavannah.
Lost: Amazing puppy named
Grace. It once was lost, but then
it was found, was blind but now
it can see. Now it’s lost again.
If found, go to Facebook, Save
the page of A. Retch, and then
Like me.
Personal: Frum Tallit looking for a
Tefillin to go around with me. Just
broke up with ex-Tefillin that got
too wrapped up in work and was
always strapped for cash. Looking
for companion that will stimulate
my head and at the end of the
day is willing to just unwind with
me. If compatible, am willing to
eventually tie the knot.