We have many men and women inside of ourselves.
Ursela LeGuin.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Creation
Neanderthal
The Kingdoms of Ubarim
Lugnas
The Bard Vittana
A’ia
Komio
Kamhia
The Dragon and the Knight
Atlantis
Interlude
Orion
Wind Elves
Recorded History
Jacob
Moses
Balaam
St. Patrick and the elves
Columba
The Witness
Conclusion
A Saying of the Wizard: To love is to embrace both the joy and ecstasy of
union as well as the pain and sorrow of separation.
Introduction
“Please, great master, please help me. I am in despair. I have nowhere to
turn. You are my last hope.” The young man yells at the top of his lungs at
a small window on the third floor of a stone tower. He has that look in his
eyes of a hungry dog as it stares at its master when its time for a handout.
A cranky, old wizard looks down from the window with a baleful glare.
Chanting, as if casting a spell to ward off a minor demon, he waves his hand
and then intones: “Go away. Stop badgering me. I have nothing to say. No
doubt you want me to tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes. But I
would never have done the things that you do. I have avoided women. They
disturb my peace and they made me feel ashamed--their happiness is beyond
the power of my magic and my dreams.”
“Please great master,” beseeches the young man.
The wizard is adamant and, voicing a command, he says “Go.”
The young man leaves but no doubt he will be back. This was the fifth
time he has tried to talk to the wizard and he is making progress. This time
the wizard actually spoke.
The trail leading from the tower down the hill is winding and steep.
Occasionally, there are stones and rocks in the way that have fallen from the
cliff above. A stiff, sea breeze collides with the young man as he emerges
from behind a boulder and views the ocean beyond.
Just then a howling cry not far away pierces the night. The young man
turns and looks back at the tower, now a dark silhouette against the indigo
sky with a full moon rising above the tower’s roof. He mutters aloud, “That
can’t be a wolf. They don’t come this far south. A coyote?”
Another howling screech from the west silences the first. The cry ascends
multiple times up and down several octaves. The sound is grating as it tears
at the ears with a disdain for anything living. Speaking a little louder now to
ward off his fear, he says, “That can’t be a banshee. There is no such thing.
Perhaps a bobcat or cougar though it sounds like a soul lost in hell.” He
turns around taking a step and nearly runs into a slender, middle-aged
woman climbing up the path in the darkness toward him.
She stops and looks at him, “You must be the young man who has been
trying to solicit advice from the wizard. Any luck today?”
“Like always, he told me to go away,” he replies.
“Come, sit down here and we can talk briefly,” she says.
The two sit on a ledge beside the cliff and she inquires, “What exactly
have you been saying to the wizard?”
He replies, “I said to him, ‘Please, great master, I am desperately in love
and there is no remedy for the pain I suffer. You are my last hope.’”
“How has he responded?” she asks.
“Not with anything positive,” he replies.
“What else did you say?” she goes on.
“I said, ‘Great master, I love this woman with all my heart and soul but I
am married to another. My counselors say to forget about this woman. I
have tried to do this. I have told her farewell and that we would never meet
again. But the next day the pain is so great for both of us that we cannot
help but seek each other out.’
“What can I do? I cannot leave my wife and I cannot go on living
without this woman. I tell you, she is so deep in my soul she has become
part of my heart.”
“Has the wizard said anything else?” she asks.
“He told me to go away. He said, ‘I am not your master. I am no one’s
master. Leave me in peace.”
“I will give you a tip if you are interested,” the woman says. “There is a
way to get what you want, though you will have to follow an indirect route.
It is like this: men of great power cannot resist a well-formed question asked
in the right with the right tone of voice. And this is because it makes them
feel young again. For a moment, the world is fresh and new. I suggest
tomorrow you give it another try.”
“But what should I ask him?”
She replies, “Don’t ask him to answer questions about yourself. For
him, individuals must make their own choices. To interfere with another by
giving advice invites disaster. Rather, ask him for an answer that is more
universal and that only indirectly bears upon your situation.”
“May I ask who you are and how you know so much about the wizard?”
he asks.
She replies speaking slowly, “I am the wizard’s oldest friend though we
only see each other a few times a year.”
“And?” he responds.
She looks more carefully at him noticing how he turns his head slightly
to the side and how he changed his voice into a higher pitch as he playfully
extended the vowel in the “and” rolling it along. She thinks to herself, “He
just shape shifted. He is younger, free of his need, and now possessed by
pure curiosity. Just like that old wizard when he was young. Perhaps...?”
She smiles at him, looking at him with the eyes of a dove that reflect both
the blue-green sea below and the depths of the sky above. She says, “I am a
mother. But that is not what you are after. I will tell you this. I was once a
student of the wizard and also one of his teachers. We share with each other
what we learn on our separate journeys.
“He searches the masculine mysteries. I explore the feminine. To
complete our separate quests, we must help each other.
“So what question should I ask him?” the young man says.
She stares into his eyes for about a minute as if thinking about which bait
would ensnare the wizard’s mind. She says, “Ask him this: ‘What can you
tell me about the mysterious love that underlies the universe?’ Put that
question to him. Challenge him as if you are putting him to a test. Speak as
if you already know the answer and you want to see if he even knows where
to begin. Then be prepared to listen for days on end. He is full of stories he
has never told anyone--not even to me and I have known him many years.”
The next day the young man again pounds on the tower door. Made of
oak once carefully varnished, the varnish is now fading with an occasional
bubble popping up from the moisture in the wind and from the heat of the
sun. Hinges begin to squeak. The door slowly opens. A tall, wiry man
appears. “This is the sixth time you have come out here to see me. Have I
helped you before? How can you possibly imagine I will help you now?”
The young man puts his question to the wizard. He asks it with an air of
authority and command. He says, “Answer this one question and I will go
away and never return. What can you tell me about the mysterious love that
underlines the universe?”
The young man had practiced asking the question aloud for hours the
previous night. He had gone for a walk and asked trees, and grass, flowers,
birds, hills, and bubbling brooks his question demanding a response. He had
practiced until he could say the question with twenty-five different
intonation patterns expressing the same number of different feelings. When
he faced the wizard he managed to put almost all the twenty-five feelings
into his voice as he spoke.
The wizard slowly takes off his glasses and looks down at the ground as if
he just dropped something and is wondering if he can find it again. Then he
looks up and says with a mixture of resignation and elation, “You had better
come in.” The young man follows the wizard into the dark tower.
“Sit down and have something to drink. I have some mead,” the wizard
says.
Perhaps the word “wizard” is not the best choice when it comes to
describing this individual. In any bell curve or statistical study of population
and standard deviation, there are always a few individuals who stand by
themselves. If you have a scale measuring personality traits such as
introversion, individuals such as this are so far away from the mean that any
attempt to define or draw boundaries around them can only result in failure.
On the other hand, the word wizard does have a certain connotation that is
appropriate in this case. Though wizards are mortal, they often have unusual
bloodlines. As was well-known in other ages and no so well known in our
own, a wizard’s bloodline can mix with the supernatural, the elemental, and
celestial beings of every imaginable breed--dragons, demons, angels, fairies,
undines--any part of the spectrum might be reflected in their eyes, their
voice, or the way they make their choices. Like I say, no scale is designed to
take the measure of a personality of this kind.
The young man’s name is Jerrod. He leans back in his chair and closes
his eyes as he sips the mead the wizard has offered him in a silver cup.
After taking a deep breath, Jerrod trains his eyes on the wizard and says, “I
have been very sick since I have tried to give her up. But then I was walking
through town and by chance we met each other. Just the sight of her and my
pain vanished. It was miraculous. She asked me, “Why is the pain so great
for both of us? Why is it so hard to let go of something that isn’t meant to
be?”
“My counselor says that if I love her I will let go of her. It is the best gift
I can ever give her. But love like this has to be expressed. I mean, you just
can’t let it slip through your fingers, can you?”
Gazing at the young man sitting across from him, the wizard says, “The
reason I cannot answer your questions is that you must decide on your own
course of action. It is true, you can consult others. But in the end, your
decisions must be made from the depths of your heart. And this is the
danger I wish to avoid--If you reply on me or anyone else to guide you in the
smallest way, as if somehow our authority is of greater weight than your
own experience, then you are lost.
“It might be tempting to choose the way that causes the least pain to
yourself and to others. But this too is ineffective when love is the issue. It is
only in the heart that pain, suffering, and loss can be measured and weighed
in comparison to the love you may gain.”
The young man says, “Surely love is not so mysterious that you cannot
see through its veils to the purposes that underlie it. The pain I feel and the
confusion--there is a reason for it. I do not want to be an actor in a script
written by passion and blind fate. Surely there is some wisdom that can pass
between the generations so at least I understand my options, so I can avoid
the pits and traps that lie in wait for those who lack the experience to discern
them? At least give me a hint.”
The wizard rises and turns his back to Jerrod. He goes to the cupboard
and, opening the door, he fumbles around with some boxes and jars. Then
he places something before Jerrod that looks like a cross between cookies
and biscuits. “Try it. You’ll like it,” the wizard speaks as if by moving
away from ideas and toward tastes the questions and heartache might be
made to go away.
Jerrod takes a bite and tastes ginger and white chocolate, molasses, and
almonds. He catches a scent of mint. The cookie/biscuit is crunchy. Tiny
morsels spread through his mouth so that chewing requires some searching
with the tongue for these little fragments until they too are crushed by the
teeth.
“What I sense,” the wizard says, “is that others are trying to persuade you
to accept their point of view. People love to make love into something
reasonable and fashionable. Oh, I suppose in general I could say that before
you speak of love first check and test beyond all doubt that both you and
your partner demonstrate kindness, generosity, respect, appreciation, and an
enduring commitment to each other’s well-being. Then and only then can
love appear.
“Without these things, falling in love is like slipping into a dream in
which you are no longer responsible for your actions. Two partners then
imagine that the other is somehow going to bring completion to their lives
and fill in for what is missing. This is the path of illusion. I can testify to
that.
“But as for love itself, when it does appear, it is wonderful beyond all
imagination and it is beyond the power of all dreams. It is sacred. It is
greater than us. And it should be treasured above all else for there is nothing
that resembles it or that can substitute for it. Those who find it are the
luckiest people on earth.”
Jerrod insists, “But can’t you just give me a little hint. You have so much
wisdom. Should I keep her or give her up? Or is all of this beyond my
ability to influence one way or another--the outcome will happen regardless
of what I decide. Please help me.”
The wizard says, “The truth is I have no doctrines to teach, no agendas to
preach. I have no advice to give. All I can do is share with you my
experience.
“Whenever I have tried to love another, gods and goddesses, God and the
Goddess, even dragons and unicorns get mixed in. When I love a woman,
the Judges of Saturn intervene. They say to me, ‘We shuffle the cards of
fate and to you we deal nightmare, despair, sorrow, and loss because the
sakes in the game you play are for a love that heals the broken heart.’ They
say, “For you, love--the deepest union with another--will only happen after
you demonstrate to us beyond all doubt that you are free of attachment and
need.’”
Taking off his glasses and looking at the young man he goes on, “Fate and
the guardians of wisdom have not been very kind to me when it comes to
love. They have done everything they can to make my life impossible. If it
wasn’t for the other gifts I have been given as compensation, I would
despair.”
“I cannot advise you but I can tell you a story, for my life is like a waking
dream. I cannot enter a church without an angel appearing in the pew
behind me and whispering in my ear, “What mission would you have me
accomplish? Perhaps a miracle, a sea divided or a cloud by day or a pillar of
fire by night?” Sometimes I wish they would all just go away so I can live
in peace and take each moment for what it is, as something to be enjoyed for
itself.
Losing interest for a moment in his own pain, Jerrod asks, “What is your
story? Can you tell it to me?”
The wizard replied, “We can begin but sometimes stories follow their path
and refine their own plots in the telling. A little distraction won’t hurt to
take your mind off of your situation. Any good mythology must include a
cosmology. There has to be something that speaks of the origins and the
purposes behind creation. And the best time to discuss the creation of the
universe is at dawn. Come back early tomorrow while it is still dark and as
the sun rises I will speak to you of how it all began.”
And so in the early morning hours, Jerrod made yet another trek up the
hill to the wizard’s tower. The wizard is waiting and opens the door as
Jerrod arrives. When they are sitting at the table next to the window viewing
the sea to the east, the wizard says, “This is not the story told by Moses who
speaks of the seven days of creation and of the Garden of Eden. No, Moses
could have told thirty different stories about the origin of the universe. But
Moses was busy. He had to lead a great many people across a desert and so
he settled on telling only a simple version. You can consider this story
variation number two.
The Story of Creation
And seven mighty angels, Lords of Creation, stood before the throne of God.
And God spoke and said: “What part will each of you play in fulfilling my
Will to create the universe?”
And the first angel came forth and spoke with the voice of a great void
filled with cosmic explosions: “I shall create the sky and an array of stars
and galaxies that light might shine. Thereby a trace of Your Glory and Joy
shall echo through the universe till the end of time.”
And the second angel came forth and spoke with a voice of thunder and a
roar of winds across great waters: “I shall create the planets and worlds
dividing the waters from the dry land so that Order might rise from chaos.
Mountains and seas, hills and streams, volcanoes and trees, clouds flowing,
lightning striking--all of these shall I call into being that the firmament
might bear witness to the notes with which Your Voice sings.”
And then the third angel spoke with the voice of wonder: “I shall bring
forth Life upon these worlds and planets. All manner of creatures I shall
design that Life might come to know itself as each gazes into the other's
eyes.”
And the fourth angel spoke with the voice of truth: “I shall grant these
creatures Intelligence so that thought and choice might arise. Thereby living
beings shall guide and refine Nature itself until it is brought to perfection.”
And the fifth angel spoke with a voice of longing and hope: “I shall place
dreams of what can be within both matter and living beings. Thereby ideals
shall take root and be born even in the darkest place so that planets, stars,
and creatures shall share with us our Ecstasy.”
And the sixth angel spoke with a voice of calm detachment: “I shall place
within the minds of living beings a mirror so clear, a wisdom so deep, the
stars, planets, galaxies, and all that exists shall be reflected without
distortion. In this way, those who desire it shall become enlightened.”
The seventh angel waited a moment, meditating quietly to herself on
what within God's Will was left undone. She then came forth and stood
before all the others. She spoke with the voice so pure and kind that it drew
together and entwined all other voices within it. She said, “I shall create
Love and hearts deep enough to hold the entire universe within themselves.
Thereby, in the fullness of time, living beings shall unite all creatures,
planets, stars, and angelic powers into One Song--Love and Beauty joined.
Then and only then will Your Will to create the universe be done.”
Neanderthal
We know that at least two other intelligent species--Neanderthal and Homo
Erectus--have existed on this planet along side of us--Homo sapiens. But we
are the only species of the three that has survived. Neanderthal is thought to
have had a larger brain capacity than we have. Neanderthals lived before us
on this planet for no less than two hundred thousand years. Neanderthal has
left us few artifacts and no art or religion. There is speculation that perhaps
for a few thousand years our two species occupied the same lands before
becoming extinct. Perhaps we even carry some of its genes though no DNA
links so far have been discovered.
My task here is to account for the fact that the human race has been
fighting over land for at least since the end of the last ice age. In Europe and
the Middle East, separate races have been fighting each other over the same
land for thousands of years. Apparently the habitable land surrounding the
Mediterranean Sea narrowed to a slim margin during pervious ice age.
Some scientists suggest that during that time our species drove Neanderthal
to extinction as we began to compete with Neanderthal over scarce
resources.
During subsequent ages as we strove for control of land and resources, we
have acquired the ability to destroy all life on the planet. It is true that our
knowledge and power have vastly expanded. And yet the best that exists
within us resists definition. And so this story probes an imaginary past to
better comprehend the choices that may fashion our future.
And it came to pass that as God was gazing upon His universe, he called to
the archangel Michael to come and appear before His throne. And God
spoke and said, “As you well know, for every purpose I propose, there is a
beginning, a middle, and an end. And so it is a time of reckoning. Go
therefore. Weigh, measure, and take account. Answer My question, ‘What
part has Neanderthal chosen to play in the unfolding of creation?’”
“It shall be as you decree, for your will prevails both in time and in
eternity,” replied the archangel Michael with that divine fervor and prophetic
ability archangels possess in no small measure.
And straight forth without delay the archangel departed from that
celestial domain. Descending and crossing through the gates dividing spirit
and the outer worlds of form, he approached our planet. He was like a blaze
of light, like a second sun determined to destroy darkness and night. But as
he came down, as his feet stepped upon the ground, the archangel hid his
glorious form. He turned his countenance down do that it would not blind
those who were near. He wished to observe and to take the measure of
earth’s inhabitants silently, quietly, without himself being observed.
And so the archangel turned his gaze upon the minds and souls of every
member of Neanderthal’s race. In posture and gait, there was a similarity to
the great apes that dwelt in the jungles and foraged in small communities.
But there was less hair, a greater brain capacity, language, and the use of
small tools like the axe and a spear or two. All of this the apes could learn
too given the right circumstances and opportunities.
Yet even with these close similarities, the apes were clearly creatures of
instinct held captive to the environment where they dwelt. Neanderthal, the
archangel noticed, was altogether different. Neanderthal, the archangel saw,
was remarkably detached like pilgrims on a sacred quest who have forgotten
their guiding purpose. Nothing in their environment captures their attention.
They are not enchanted by any fascination. It is as if a great and noble race
was placed precisely on that planet where they could not flourish, where the
motivation and desire to master the world and know the self as well had
been turned aside and forgotten.
If Divine Providence were a modern corporation and the archangel
Michael a division manager or perhaps a vice president, he might have sent a
memo to the board of directors, that is, to the seven Lords of Creation who
were responsible for cosmic evolution. He would not have suggested even
in a subtle way that a mistake had been made. Rather, with great diplomacy
he would have asked if perhaps it was time for an upgrade--a few minor
alterations in the specifications of performance and design. But in spite of
God’s commission to him, the archangel Michael is not so much an
accountant as he is an Intelligence who specializes in solving problems.
And so for a little while, the archangel Michael searched the entire earth
seeking to comprehend every aspect and facet of this problem. He sent his
mind into many different Neanderthals. He blended his consciousness with
their own. He felt their feelings, thought their thoughts, walked with them,
hunted with them, and slept with them at night. He tasted water with their
tongues and caught the scent of bear and deer and ate berries from a bush
and noticed how they could distinguish 24 different qualities of taste--even
to the point of determining by the flavor how the tree had withstood the
winter and whether the tree received water from rain, a water table, or
underground stream.
He took note of how some Neanderthal could dam small streams,
draining the water so they could then pick up fish from the bottom with their
hands. And yet, knowing how to build and engineer, they did not construct
huts out of stone, wood, or mud bricks. They did not fortify their positions
against predators. They did not make traps for game which they could then
leave and return to another day. They took what they needed for the
moment as if it were an ideal to see how little work you could do to survive
and to feel satisfied.
When preliminary observations were complete, archangel Michael turned
his thoughts to the question at the center of his investigation, “Who among
the Neanderthals has the highest wisdom, the greatest heart, and the most
profound perceptions? With whom can I speak of dreams and visions and
the destiny Neanderthal shall seek?”
And in the same moment when he had spoken these words, one
Neanderthal appeared before the eyes of the archangel’s inner vision. The
greatest and wisest of all the Neanderthals was living in a cave in what
would one day be called southern France not far from the Mediterranean
Sea. It was the archangel’s intention to enter and meet this individual within
his dreams.
But the Neanderthal sensed the archangel’s mind and the intention behind
the probe. After all, recall that an ordinary Neanderthal can distinguish 24
tastes of a berry. And so a great and wise Neanderthal could distinguish
with ease the difference between the touch of a hand on your skin whether
awake or asleep and the touch of another mind whether familiar or unknown.
The great and wise Neanderthal awoke from his sleep and spoke aloud, “I
am happy to meet with a celestial being so magnificent. But tell me why
you awaken me from my dreams? The circle of the horizon and the ocean of
the sky do not bind or limit your flight. And your eyes do not require the
radiance of natural light to perceive secret mysteries hidden far beyond the
gaze of mortal sight.”
“I would speak to you,” replied the archangel, “of the desires in your
heart and the dreams your soul might wish to fulfill. Your race has been
granted peace and grace. And for a hundred and fifty thousand years you
have dwelt upon the earth. And yet I find you living here in a cave. You
live off the land, yet you explore not. You manufacture only a few physical
artifacts. You cherish no art. You live the same way your fathers and
mothers lived a hundred thousand years before. It has, therefore, fallen upon
me to speak with you of your destiny.”
The great and wise Neanderthal arose and walked with the archangel out
through the mouth of the cave. The Neanderthal raised his hand and
gestured saying, “I have no need to explore, to see what is beyond yonder
mountain or across the far sea. There is sufficient food in this valley to feed
my family.
“And as for peace, I understand the hunger that drives the hawk to strike
the dove. I understand his need for fresh blood. His eyes and claws are
designed for war and he cannot escape his form. The air is his home and
other birds disturb the power of his throne.
“I understand the wolf’s desire to command and own the land. I see in
his heart his need to mark and defend the boundaries of his territory. The
hunger in his belly requires struggle and strife for victory.
“And the cold serpent that slithers through the grass--I grasp why there is
venom in his bite. Aroused by heat and yearning for life he cannot find in
himself, he must steal from others to acquire what he needs to recapture the
peace of sleep. This unending cycle of desire and gratification, this
repetition of the need to find a completion that can never be is all perfectly
clear to me.
“I understand and I respect these creatures and their needs but I am not as
these. As I am sure you understand, my senses are not the slaves of their
sensations. My perceptions are not the servants of what they perceive. In
every moment, I dwell in eternity--in every moment, I am free. As long as I
live on this planet, I shall dwell in peace.
“As for physical artifacts--tools, weapons to protect myself, articles of
clothing, buildings, the cultivation of fields, herbal remedies, vessels to carry
water and containers for food--what we have now is sufficient for our needs.
“As for art, what need do we have to draw or paint upon cave walls or
bark or to fashion images in stone or clay? I can close my eyes and recall
with perfect clarity any animal, plant, or tree, any scene of sky, land, or sea
so vivid it is as real as any dream. Yet I am fully awake within it. What
work fashioned by hands can reflect even in small measure this inner power
of vision and clear recollection I already command?
“You speak to me of destiny. Are you are asking me to leave behind the
satisfactions that are natural to my kind? Oh magnificent being of light, I
see your design--you are a fire that purifies and refines. The sight in your
eyes probes and searches the depths of any mystery. And the mystery in
your heart is the power that resolves conflict, restoring divine order and
revealing the purposes hidden within nature.
“Come. Let us reason together. As you well know, there is no higher art
in all the universe than the art of peace. This art is part of the fabric of my
soul. I dwell in peace and from this path I am unwilling to depart.
“Would you remake me, reshape me, place in me a new spirit until I have
improved? Do you wish me to be more curious about nature and what is
hidden within or behind it? Would you have me explore and adventure?
Shall I fashion tools and invent machines and begin a long journey along
that road which leads to technology, industry, and productivity? Would you
bless me by granting me a commission to take possession and exercise
dominion over the earth?
“I will prophecy for you now how it would be. If I go this way, one day
those who follow me will sit in front of machines that glow with unnatural
light and imitate sound and sight. And they shall do so just to ease their pain
of loneliness, to find a new friend or talk with a family member who dwells
on the other side of the planet.
“But don’t you see, all that they will struggle to accomplish and to attain-all that they can ever hope to command I already have. I have my family
and friends who sleep beside me in a cave. I eat in their presence. We sit
across from each other and talk as the flickering flames of fire dispel the
night and highlight our features. Whether we hunt or gather, we do so in
each other’s company. We share heart to heart and embrace freely without
duplicity. We know each other’s moods, thoughts, and actions as well as we
know our own”.
The great and wise Neanderthal then lifted his head up so his lips were
near to the archangel’s right ear. And then he spoke in a whisper as if he
were speaking a sacred name or revealing the secret soul of his race, “When
I fall asleep at night, they are near to me. I hear their stirrings, turnings, and
the sounds of their breathing. Can you, for all your divine insight,
understand this mystery? We share the same needs; we share the same
dreams; and we live at peace.
“I will tell you this in case you who are an immortal might by chance
miss the essence of our mortality, of what it is to be alive and surrounded by
death on all sides: As long as life depends on food and drink, on breath and
heartbeat, as long as the body is joined to consciousness--a better life than
this--than what we have now--will never exist.
“Don’t you see--you cannot call us to rise up and to ascend. And in the
process offer us a long journey into darkness, a path which neither sun,
moon, nor stars can illuminate. Though you as a divine being may require a
race to satisfy this need, I am not the one you seek. My dreams are already
complete. And now I bid you let me return to my sleep, for I have exhausted
my desire to reason and your visions turn my soul cold.”
Thus ended the conversation between the archangel Michael sent by God,
the Creator of the universe, and the wisest of the Neanderthals. But this is
not quite the end of my story. The Neanderthal’s mate had also awakened
and had overheard the conversation. And so as the archangel turned and was
about to ascend, he was halted by her gentle voice.
She spoke to the archangel petitioning him to remain a few moments
more. She said, “On occasion, I have noticed that my mate, though wise,
fails to ask the right question. So, if I may, let me put it to you simply,
‘What are we missing?’”
The archangel turned around and gazed upon her in astonishment-surprise is a rare occurrence for an archangel of Michael’s stature and vision.
For in Michael’s heart, next to his love of the Creator and his divinely
appointed missions, he loves most of all a good question. For him, the right
question asked in the right way at the right time is as precious as first light is
to dawn. And so, unable to resist, compelled by her intelligence, he replies,
“The world in which you dwell has been given to you so you might
discover those purposes and ideals you wish to fulfill--the cave, the land, the
water your drink, the food you eat, the air your breathe, your body, your
senses, your mind and soul--all of these things you are free to use, to form
and to mold, to shape, and to recreate according to the desires within your
heart. There is no limit or restriction placed upon what you may be or
become.
“Yet it is clear to me that it is not in your heart to probe the secrets of
matter and redesign and fashion it according to your will. It is not in your
dreams to create and command light as hot and bright as the light of the
stars, to take and hold it in the palms of your hands and to use it to fulfill
new purposes born from out of your imagination. It is not in your soul to
search out every secret and probe the depths of every mystery until the entire
universe becomes your home.”
“And so what will you tell God when you return with your report?” she
then asked having grasped the direction of the archangel’s thoughts and the
purpose behind his questions.
And the archangel, who also knows no duplicity, spoke honestly, “I will
tell Him this: we need another race of beings. Neanderthal is too wise and
the grace he has been granted is too great. We will need another creature,
one with a smaller brain capacity, but one with an insatiable curiosity. He
shall look upon the world with wonder and out of his lust to know--the
desire to take it, to hold it, and make it a possession of his own.
“He shall not be as free as you are of his desires. He shall be ravished by
his needs and amid struggle, strife, and every imaginable craving, he shall
acquire knowledge. And this shall be both his curse and his blessing, his
suffering and his grace--his attempt to reconcile his passions with the beauty
and the wonder of creation will lead his race to finally rise up and to attain
transcendence. They shall attain the highest enlightenment that exists in the
universe as well as among all celestial beings. I can see clearly now the
secret purposes that anoint this planet.
“During the course of his journey, he shall master all forms of conflict
and war. Every desire of every animal shall he know. Yet in the end, the
powers of creation, of reconciliation, of meditation, and peace making shall
be the treasures he discovers--he shall forge these abilities from out of the
desires of his heart and the flame of his imagination.
“As I am the archangel ordained and commissioned to defend the purity
of light, so this vision is the unique and unrivaled purpose that Divine
Providence will accomplish upon this planet. After the race of Neanderthals
has come to an end, another race shall dwell upon the earth and be offered
this task. In fact, many races and civilizations shall arise, as many as it takes
until this purpose is fulfilled--until a civilization is born whose members
have become creators who embody the mysterious form and image of their
Creator. They shall take nothing for granted until the wonder and the beauty
of the universe overflows from their hearts.”
And though the woman understood immediately the archangel’s words,
she refused to grant them entrance into her heart. Such darkness,
nightmares, and suffering--the abyss of desire and pain that would have to be
crossed for the sake of acquiring these divine arts--this was a place where
she was unwilling to venture. And so she was glad when the archangel took
his light and divine insight and departed, returning to his celestial home.
She stood there a moment after the archangel had gone. The stars shown
above. An animal cried in the distance. The wind stirred through the leaves
of the trees. Then she turned, took the hand of her mate, and, entering
through the mouth of the cave, they lay down again and fell asleep holding
each other close.
It is fifty thousand years later and another species, Homo Sapiens, begins
to drive the few remaining Neanderthal away from the fertile Mediterranean
basin and now Neanderthal is no more.
Lugnas, the Peacemaker
Two Well-Known Sayings of Lugnas, the Peacemaker:
God is a tough negotiator. You have to be extremely alert, sharp, and know
what you are talking about if you want to make a deal. But if you feel you
are about to lose the next round, there is always a way to pin Him down.
Just remind Him that He is the Creator and that your request expresses your
desire to learn the family business like any son or daughter--convince Him
of that and you have a done deal.
Learn from your enemies. They are your best teachers.
Note: The two characters mentioned at the beginning of this story--Hirah
and Parvan--are the central figures in a book about Ubarim called
Heartsblood. They appear here briefly as Hirah tells the following tale to
his lover Parvan.
You know how it is with young lovers. Even during battle preparations,
Hirah found time to go for walks with Parvan. It was early morning. The
two lovers were walking among groves of Eucalyptus and birch trees.
Parvan says to Hirah, “Tell me again the story that the goddess Dawn
once told you.”
Hirah replies, “I met her one morning when I was meditating inside a
stone circle. She appeared in the East and gestured for me to come walk
with her. I left the standing stones and came up beside her. She put her arm
around me as we walked through the trees.
“We talked and laughed. I told her about several little birds who kept
bumping each other in the air as they tried to sit on the very end of a branch.
“She pointed to a nest in a tree where two bird were staring at each other
in dismay. They seemed to be saying with their eyes: ‘I thought it was your
turn to feed the little ones this morning.’ But they had both gone off to feed
themselves.
“Then she told me about a bird that sings all night long. Other animals
thought it was crazy. When she mentioned this to me, she gestured with her
hand and this bird began singing nearby. ‘Why does it sing during the dead
of night,’ I asked? She told me a story in reply.
“Once there was a young woman abandoned by her lover. She left her
village ashamed and humiliated when she discovered she was pregnant. She
knew that for the rest of her life she and her child would be social outcasts.
So she went off into the woods to die. But there, in the middle of the night,
she met the goddess Dawn who appeared and walked at her side.
“The goddess Dawn said to her, ‘If you will put aside your despair and
have faith in the light, I will give you a child like no other who has ever
walked upon the earth. He shall be called Lugnas, for he will be a child of
the sun.’
“‘And then I gave her this bird to keep her company during the night as a
sign to her, for this bird sings of the coming dawn during the darkest night.
She kept the child and her life. She learned that even during the greatest
pain and abandonment one can still sing from the depths of one's heart.
Even in a place and time of great darkness, beauty still reigns triumphant
and marvelous.
“‘And because of her faith, she was able to feel all of her pain--she did
not go numb or give in to shock. She did not deny or repress her loss. And
so I was able to fulfill my promise to her. The women cast off her despair,
took heart, and returned to her village. Since she was already three months
pregnant, she bore a son six months later.
“‘As her child grew up the mother discovered that he indeed had special
gifts. The birds sang at night wherever he went. But the power of the
blessing he bestowed was this: people forgot their anger, greed, and conflicts
and made peace with each other when he was around.
“His presence alone was enough to cause them to feel as if they were
filled with light. Suddenly, without explanation, they could see clearly their
best courses of action no matter how great the confusion. They felt they had
taken a narcotic whose essence was inspiration. Such was the power of
peace he brought into the world.
“‘When he was near, no one, no matter how cold, callous, or cruel, could
think, feel, or imagine doing anything unkind or evil. For once in their lives,
(and often this was for the first time), they felt so happy they could dance
and be friendly with even their worst enemies.
“‘The priests in that land who were high initiates said of Lugnas, “One of
the Guardians of another planetary sphere has come down to guide, to
inspire, and to serve Lugnas. (But in our own time, those who study the
Quabbalah would know quite well that it was Aziel, one of the spirits of the
Schem-Ham-Phoras, the secret name of God, who had taken an interest in
or, let us say, overshadowed Lugnas with his presence.)
“‘When Lugnas was around, the air was more clear. Instead of being
able to see islands fifty miles off in the sea, those standing on shore could
see islands two hundred miles away as if they were next door. And there
were other phenomena too--activities that were are normally annoying and
irritating become playful and humorous. Frustration switched to delight.
The worst and darkest secrets were understood for what they were and left
behind.
“‘And the enemies who turned into friends--for them, it was like this: the
one you hate the most suddenly becomes a mirror that reflects back to you
the path and the means for attaining your deepest dreams. And so it was that
people put down their arts of war and began celebrating the new friends they
had miraculously found.
“‘Of course, there was an odd note that accompanied this radical mode of
peace making that turned enemies into friends. Some individuals resisted
and refused to be so easily ensorcelled. They felt as if something strange
was happening to them, as if they had misplaced something. But what they
had lost was only their greed and fear. The darkness and hatred in their past
strove within their souls to reawake, but these powers returned only like bits
and pieces of bad dreams that fade away in the morning.’”
Now I am sure the question occurs to the reader as to whether Lugnas
was somehow depriving individuals of their free wills by making evil and
malice nearly impossible to feel. Let me be quite clear and insist on this
point. Lugnas did not alter anyone’s will. He merely changed the
conditions under which they feel. Perhaps you have observed how this
works in your own or others’ lives. When you are around someone with
great power and a loving heart, you discover your own mistakes and errors
right at the start. The light is so bright you cannot deny that the darkness
inside you is of your own making.
Hirah went on relating the story told by the goddess Dawn, “‘Lugnas’
career as a peacemaker started when a woman grew very tired of having her
sons killed one after the other in a longstanding feud between her clan and
another. She called Lugnas to come and help, thinking perhaps there was
some enchantment or blessing that accompanied a man for whom the birds
sing from dust to dawn.
“‘And sure enough, when Lugnas took up residence in the village, the
next morning the rival clans were out fixing fences together and digging
wells. And later in the evening, they were buying each other drinks in the
pub. After this success, Lugnas assigned himself the job of walking around
the kingdom visiting all the villages where there was strife and dire conflicts.
When you find your nitch--something you are good at--it is a pleasure to
pursue it.
“‘His miraculous powers to bring peace were so predictable and
consistent that Lugnas came to be regarded as a force of nature, like
lightning, winter, or spring--something you cannot resist--you just have to
accept it. His reputation grew so strong that when people heard he was
coming around, on their own initiative, they put aside their differences and
make peace.
“‘They then sent Lugnas a messenger who showed him a written
agreement. They agreed to live in harmony for an entire year. The rival
factions or enemies would avoid strife in any form. Or else they sent him
gold and jewels to hold in his safekeeping, to be turned over to the poor,
should they fail to keep their promise.
“‘They knew that if he heard they were bickering, it was as likely as not
that he would come calling. They would then be so struck by peace and
overwhelmed by harmony, they would end up moving in with their enemies
and treating them as long lost friends and relatives. But this result was too
embarrassing to contemplate. Even enemies could find common cause and
work together to avoid an outcome that traded pride and strife for humility
and a new way of life.
“‘Now I am sure that you can imagine that eventually someone would
contrive a plan that would counterbalance and undermine the influence of
Lugnas. Sure enough, two villages had a feud that had been going on as
long as anyone could remember--kind of like in modern times when clans or
tribes of the same country have hated each other more than they hate foreign
invaders.
“‘And Lugnas, they found out, was already on his way. A merchant,
who offered gossip along with his wares, made a hobby of keeping track of
Lugnas’ affairs. It was this merchant who informed the local community.
“‘The village elders took heed of these rumors and reviewed the
testimony concerning Lugnas from credible witnesses. The opposing village
councils then conceived a plan to avoid this strange dawning of peace. They
had always fought each other and they hoped to continue until one or the
other clan was finally annihilated.
“‘Not wishing to have their traditions violated by a will not their own, the
people in both villages agreed to leave before Lugnas was due to arrive.
They moved far into surrounding hills. But Lugnas still came. He settled
casually into one of the houses as if it had his name written on the door.
“‘A few nights passed and then weeks. But the people knew Lugnas was
hanging out because the birds kept singing all night. So they decided to send
a spy to find out exactly what he was doing. But there was no one willing to
go. They were too much afraid of Lugnas. Just listening to the stories about
Lugnas could made many of them sick to their stomachs for days at a time.
“‘But at last a blacksmith with a strong stomach said he would go and see
for himself if the rumors were true or not. He crept down to the valley
before dawn. He took a position just outside the village though he felt
terribly uncomfortable with all the birds singing in the trees above.
“‘When the blacksmith returned three days later, his report was very bad.
This was his story: He said that he had witnessed first hand the appearance
of a great being of light, a vast angelic power in the form of a huge man.
This spirit descended from the sky, leaping down on top of the house where
Lugnas was staying. And then it climbed right inside through the roof. It
stayed all night and left again at dawn.’”
Hirah at this point turns to Parvan and says, “I don't know why it is, but it
is always sheer agony for me when I go on walks with the goddess Dawn.
My eyes are flooded with tears. A thin, high, silent scream rips free from
the core of my being when I am in her presence.”
And Parvan says as she places the palm of her hand on Hirah's chest,
“Perhaps when she touches you with the power of her light she reaches the
darkest places within your soul. Her touch empowers your heart to feel all
the pain you hold. She brings to life and lets flow feelings that it would
otherwise take many lifetimes to let go of. She thaws the ancient numbness
of soul buried in the heart of the human race.”
Hirah says, “Now Parvan, do I notice a trace of jealously in your voice?
Have I made you uncomfortable with this talk of my flirting with goddesses
at dawn and twilight? The pain and agony I experience is but a small price
to pay for the experience of such beauty.
“Parvan, it is you I embrace at night. All goddesses are but reflections of
the love which shines from the center of your heart.”
Parvan replies, “Yah, sure, right. If it is pain and agony that make you
feel loved I will give you some right now.” And with that Paravn digs her
fingers into Hirah's ribs. And Hirah taking her hands into his says, “Ok, Ok,
back to our story. I concede. You are not jealous. My mistake.”
Parvan asks, “Answer me this--What does the goddess say to you when
you ask her about this pain you experience in her presence?”
Hirah answers, “She says, ‘Sometimes you have to allow your heart to be
torn in two so new light can appear. Your only other choice is to allow your
heart to turn numb like a stone.’”
Parvan asks, “Do I have that effect on you?” Now, as a warrior, Hirah
had been trained to walk on thin ice. He had been taught to remain alert and
centered as if an ambush might occur at any moment. No doubt it was this
training that enabled Hirah to carefully phrase his reply.
He says, “As I have been telling you, the goddesses are but poor
reflections of the love I see in you. When I am near to you Parvan, Dawn is
forever rising anew--the light falling through green leaves shed ecstasy in
molten pathways of light on the ground. These shadows here call out your
name to me, telling me that unlike them, the source of Life itself shines from
within my heart--this is your love and gift to me. When you kiss me I
forget who I am. The darkness within me is vanquished by your beauty.
Even the goddess Dawn cannot do that.
“Though Love is Eternal and complete in itself, it is equally true that in
each moment we journey toward it. In your presence, I awake for the first
time. The leaf, the blade of grass, the trees, the infinite interplay of color,
light, and darkness, these are monuments to your tenderness. I see though
the eyes of love, though your eyes and my eyes both, and I hold this vision
without faltering.”
And taking Parvan's hand and holding it between his palms, Hirah says,
“In these lines upon the palms of those who have found true love can be read
the fate of the world.”
The two lovers embrace. Parvan always did like Hirah's poetry almost as
much as his touch on her skin.
Later Hirah goes on relaying the story told to him by the goddess Dawn.
“‘The people from the two villages got together in a little valley up in the
hills to discuss the situation. For the second time, they were in complete
agreement: all of them refused to surrender to the saint's power.
“‘This left them little alternative. They would have to stay up in the hills
adding rooms onto shepherd’s’ huts, making the most of sheep herding,
gathering wild berries, and such. But for them it was a small price to pay for
freedom--these people were vehement about their independence, their right
to determine their own destinies.
“‘An entire year past. Lugnas was still living down in one or another of
their old villages. But they just took it in stride and settled down where they
were. Their families were pretty much scattered about the hills. So they
formed a new village where they could get together and pool their resources
to survive this common calamity that had befallen them.
“‘They were like a couple who have just gotten divorced and were done
dividing their assets. But now, impoverished, they still get together over a
drink to complain about the cost of their attorneys and the rotten way things
had turned out. For some, finding fault with the world will always be a
favorite pastime.
“‘Years pasted. The people never went back to their old villages. They
were too terrified of Lugnas even though he had long since left them to their
own devices. They thought his presence had contaminated their entire
valley with dreams of peace. He had contaminated even the night--birds
started singing to greet the dawn round about midnight. No, these folks
would not allow Lugnas to get the upper hand, not over them anyway.
“‘So they stayed up in those hills enjoying their poverty, their solitude,
and their freedom. As far as they were concerned, the fact that they no
longer brawled or killed each other was altogether beside the point. And
from time to time when someone married a member of the other clan--that
was alright. It was a way of strengthening their collective will to fight the
light--that is, the injustice when someone else tells you what is right or how
to live your life.’”
Hirah goes on, “There are a few stories the goddess is in the process of
telling me. But these stories are not yet done because you and I still have
roles to play in them.”
The Bard Vittana
In the land of Ubarim, Vittana's fame was already great. He was a living
legend. It was well-known that with a song he could call Spring to come a
month early. Winter, entranced by the bliss, would then let go her icy grip
on the seasons ensnared by Vittana’s visions.
With a melody Vittana could calm a gale or persuade a hurricane to stop
dead in its tracks. The hurricane suddenly realized it preferred all along to
turn left or right instead of going where it thought it belonged.
And, with a few notes on his harp, armies clashing amid a battle would
put down their arms. The soldiers would then wander off ensorcelled by a
dream of beauty they saw shining like a mirage and calling out to them from
the distance. Every heart has dreams hidden within it that can tear the soul
apart. Vittana’s art had a way of revealing things of that sort.
Let us drop in on Vittana and find out more about his personal style. No
one has seen him for twelve years. Yet here he is strolling down a dirt road.
A local baron in a carriage recognizes Vittana as his horses draw near. The
baron stops immediately and offers Vittana a ride and the hospitality of his
country mansion.
Later that afternoon, Vittana takes a walk through the estate’s gardens.
There he comes upon Situ, the Baron's second daughter. Vittana was
introduced to Situ when he first arrived at the mansion.
Vittana says, “Hi there Situ.”
“Hi Vittana,” she replies. “Say, if you wouldn't mind my asking, have
you ever notice that willow trees weep, juniper trees clap their hands, and
white pines sings songs at night.”
“No, I haven't noticed but I will listen more carefully in the future,”
replies Vittana.
“I like yew trees best because they understand so much about women.
Though I must say, hazel trees have such wonderful feelings of peacefulness
down among their roots.
“What is your favorite kind of tree?” asks Situ.
“Favorite? For me, each and every tree is an individual. I can barely tell
the species apart. Each tree has its own unique voice and song,” answers
Vittana.
“Then tell me a song a tree has sung to you,” says Situ speaking with the
impatience and boldness of youth. Vittana does not mind her demands.
Whether it is a child or a king, it makes no difference to him.
Vittana replies, “Once a long time ago when I was very sad I sat down in
front of a Blue Spruce tree.
“After a while I asked the tree, ‘Are there things that make you sad? Do
you worry when your cones drop from your branches without saying
goodbye and then you never hear from them again?’
“I waited in silence hoping the tree would speak to me, for this was the
first time I had beseeched a tree to answer my questions. I was not sure of
the correct procedure and whether or not I was violating any unspoken rules.
But the tree did not seem to mind at all. It spoke to me as if it were my
parent and I was its child who asks the right questions at the right time and
in the right season.”
“‘Yes,’ replied the tree. ‘Whenever part of myself is lost, I experience
unease and distress.
“‘In the late afternoon when the sun begins to set, when the earth shifts
from day to night, time is suspended. In the moments of twilight, memories
return to me from all periods of my life.
“‘And then on occasion I recall when I too was a pine cone on one of my
mother's top most branches. I was so high I could see the tips of mountains
that lay far beyond the horizon. The sun's first rays of light woke me in the
morning. And I never missed the rising or setting of the moon.
“‘Then one day deep in winter when snow covered the ground, I was hit
by a powerful, freezing gust of wind. My stem broke and my world came to
an end.
“‘I fell to the earth below no longer attached to the tree. I lay upon the
ground for days refusing to believe what had happened to me. There I was-lying upon the cold earth among stones. All around me was a feeling of
separation and the loneliness of fallen snow.
“‘This dark vision persisted and would not go away. There was no water
to drink; the surface of the earth was frozen. I could no longer see the moon.
The stars were hidden from me. I was abandoned and then half buried as
snow continued to fall.
“‘Finally one night when I could stand it no longer I cried out to my
mother. When I heard her voice, I looked up and saw her immense beauty.
“‘She said, ‘My child, the Earth is now your mother. And though the icy
hands of winter have torn you from me, listen with all your heart to the quiet
stillness of the earth. Even in the dead silent cold of winter there throbs and
sounds a pulse and a heartbeat.
“‘Listen for the Song the Earth sings even in the darkest night and in the
loneliest place you may enter. You have begun a long journey, but do not be
afraid. This is a time to abide in peace, to rest and to sleep within the
sheltering protection of Silence. Goodbye my child.’
“And then my mother was silent. I never heard from her again.”
“But I accepted her words. I closed my senses to the outside world. I
went and hid in the innermost chambers of my pinecone. And then I slept
and I dreamed the Earth Herself came to visit me. She told me a long tale of
winter and of night and of a Silence beyond all sight.
“I floated upon the sounds of her voice. I sailed upon her songs. Her
dreams entered my heart and became my own. She held me to her breast
through the winter was long and the darkness profound.”
“I do not remember how long I slept in her embrace. But the Earth did
not call out to me to awaken and to rise up.
“Instead, I was awakened amid dazzling light and bathed in warmth and
beauty. An infinite song of delight penetrated into my cone. I quickly
stripped off my outer garments and stood naked beneath the rays of a radiant
sun. And as that Greater Light took hold of me, I spouted as a young shoot
and was surrounded by the merry songs of Spring.”
Situ says, “That is a very beautiful story, Vittana. You have a nice way
of presenting the feminine mysteries. Some day you must teach me to talk
to trees as you do. No. What I mean is, you must teach me to listen the way
you do so that a faint and hidden voice is free to speak from the depths of
my heart.
“But there is something else I would ask of you. I understand that a bard
like you can capture in a single poem the innermost, secret soul and beauty
hidden within a woman. Can you? Can you compose for me a magical
poem that opens a gate in my soul that I might taste the Mysteries for
myself?
Vittana replies, “What?!? Did my ears just hear words of challenge
spoken aloud? What has happened to children these days? You would ask a
bard if he can compose a poem? And a magical one at that? Are you
kidding? All my poems are made in that place of the heart where magic,
love, and beauty cannot be kept apart.”
And immediately, Vittana's voice, minted from gold and entwined with
starlight like the serpents ascending a Staff of Wisdom, began to sing.
Vittana sang to Situ out of sheer delight because she had asked him to create
out of nothing a poem of love.
Your Soul
You are like clay in the hands of a sculptor,
But who is this sculptor?
This sculptor is the wind whose fingers are in our hair
Whose breath is in our lungs
Who softly penetrates the secret places of the soul
Where fear itself fears to go.
This sculptor is passion: and the clay flows between
His fingers wet, soft, and yielding;
All his mind, heart, and gaze are focused in his touch
Curling, joining, molding.
The clay becomes alive
As it takes form fashioned with such care
The desires of the heart join the images of the eye
With the caress of the hand.
This sculptor is Love:
I see through Love's eyes and your eyes both
I see how your soul holds new life in itself
Nurturing it so it may find a way to be born
Darkness itself you turn into a path of beauty
And the greater Love that indwells your soul?
For your soul
Life is a sacred journey,
It is not an ordeal
But the Celebration of a Mystery.
In the eyes of your soul,
In Her eyes--both winter and spring are joined:
Kindness is there
And also an invitation to cross over every boundary
For the sake of love.
Her eyes are both Summer and Fall
Which are also hidden in a kiss from Her lips:
She will gladly fulfill every desire
The body, heart, and spirit would know
But also She offers the greatest secret of all:
The path through which one heart joins with another.
On this path, like the essence of Fall,
We let go of who we are
To join with a greater Beauty.
There is art at work in your life, Situ
And this art is beauty, love, and caring.
A hug from you is like the flowers of Spring
Exploding in tiny volcanic rainbows between my toes;
It is like drinking mead among a circle of friends
On a sacred Isle during a cool summer night full of songs;
It is like Fall and Twilight, the goddess who runs her fingers
Through my hair teaching me how to let go, to flow,
To step unafraid into a future unmade;
And your hug makes even winter into a friend,
The winter of the soul becomes a time
When the whiteness of snow
And the barren branches standing naked in a cold North wind
Feel nothing but joy as they scream at the top of their lungs-‘It is OK to be naked and to want love and to feel pain.’
Yes, Situ, you are all the seasons rolled into one
You are the clay that is willing to allow itself
To be molded by Love.
I love you my child.
I offer you my friendship forever.
Hear now your magical name:
You are the incarnation on this planet
Of the Goddess of Sacred Journeys.
And then Situ says, “I am speechless, Vittana.” But Vittana responds, “I
don't believe it for a moment. For you, questions arise like water from an
artesian well.”
“Wait...I do have one last question,” says Situ. “By what authority do you
speak? Surely when you speak aloud and proclaim what is invisible to
others’ eyes you a High Priest in the world of dreams. But no temple honors
your wisdom; no prophets bear witness to the treasures you reveal.
“Tell me Vittana, who has initiated you into these Mysteries?”
And Vittana replies: “I love good questions. My ears long to hear them,
but there are so few who know how to ask them.
I met the Goddess of the Earth one day
She said,
“Your desire for love
Is the same as my dreams:
To have children
Who see through the eyes of the stars;
In their hearts
They will fuse all opposites,
The constellations themselves,
Into one Song of Love.”
“Therefore,” She said,
I give you the Voice of the Bard
That others may hear as you hear
The Song of the Universe Unfolding.
“From out of the Earth--from Her Beauty and Her voice which speaks
through mine--does my authority arise,” said Vittana. And finally Situ was
silent, her questions satisfied.
King Irkomen's Castle
It is now six years later in Vittana's life. We are at King Irkomen's Castle.
In later periods of time, scholars would trace the eventual destruction of
Ubarim back to acts initiated by this King. But we need not concern
ourselves with the precise histories of legendary kingdoms. Let us enjoy
this story of how a bard found his voice.
The King is throwing a great party tonight at his castle. And adding to
the delight, there is a brew master present, Anastos, and his patron, Kamhia.
Kamhia, by the way, has retired from his official duties as the personal priest
to High King Yuharna. Beer has recently been invented by Anastos. The
particular brew on tap, tonight, Kamhia has named, “The Great Rite in a
Bottle.”
This beer has an interesting taste profile. It has a dark, ruby-amber color
that invites us to taste an adventure. Its taste? In fact, it is a shameless
marriage of opposites: almost cuddly, it's is big, its bitter, it's sweet, it's
fruity, and it explodes with aromas of hops.
Ah, look--there's Kamhia over there now. He's the one with an arm
around each of those two young, nubile females. Let's listen in.
Kamhia is saying, “Close your eyes, take a sniff, then a sip. Let it slip
into your mouth, slide along your tongue, glide across your taste buds. Take
another sip. Feel it sink down your throat and into your thighs and hips. It's
luscious creaminess is a pleasure that defies description. It's sprucy finish
will leave you with a long affectionate after taste and memories of warm
satisfaction.”
Well, Kamhia is typical of one aspect of Ubarim--a place full of larger
than life characters riddled with contradictions and who mix in equal
measure spiritual visions and primordial lusts.
A Royal Party
Vittana is now walking toward center stage. King Irkomen invited him
personally to come and entertain. Understand, there are currents of rivalry
that exist between bards and kings--it has always been that way. Though the
realms they rule are different, inevitably, there are places where their
authority overlaps. Where? It is in the use of the spoken word to hold, to
bind, and to transform the world.
And so King Irkomen, acting in character as king, turns to face Vittana.
With a competitive yet jovial invitation, with that glint in his eyes like the
fire in the eye of a dragon, the king says,
“Vittana, noble bard, tell us finally the truth about who you are. Put an
end to all rumors that follow you about. Are you god, mortal, elf, sylph,
Guardian? Just who are you? And from where does the voice of the bard
arise?”
And Vittana, as always, loving above all else a good question, replies: “I
am neither born from a divine spark as are all those mortals within this room
nor did any god or God breathe life into my flesh. I am not from a fairy
realm where creatures play whimsically cloaked in beauty and immortality
yet lacking a greater informing spirit.
“I am neither god, elf, sylph, nor Guardian. Here is the gist of it if you
can believe: My soul was called into being from out of nothingness by the
sheer power of love--and in mortal form I now exist not very different from
any of you. Hear my song.”
And saying this Vittana begins to tell a story from three hundred and fifty
years before when the kingdom of Ubarim was founded in its present form.
Rilus and Kitan
Dark the night. The white caps howl and scream in high notes like steam as
the wind stampedes down the backs of black waves. Yet the small craft
rides high upon the crests with the ease of a stallion galloping through green
fields and across small streams.
The wind drives the sailboat with such strength that in each gust the boat
surfs over and then down the crest of the wave ahead. But the helmsman of
the boat is more than equal to the challenge.
Though not mortal himself, Rilus has eloped with the daughter of a high
lord from another land. The girl is Kitan. She is mortal and a human being.
And the story of their love began when Rilus appeared to her in a dream.
There, in that land of enchantment that we all know, Rilus said to Kitan,
“My cathedral is the earth and the sky. The silent depths of my heart and
your body and soul are the altar where I worship the One Light. We are
destined to unite.”
The journeys between the visible and invisible worlds are always fraught
with danger. Falling in love with a magical being can create unearthly
passions, offer unknown treasures, and ignite the wrath of those who disdain
what is unfamiliar.
The king’s chief wizard saw from the beginning that Kitan had bound
herself to another who was forbidden. There is give and take in magic as in
any good negotiation. Rilus was all give and the wizards were all take.
And so now all the lord’s wizards are united in their effort to take revenge
upon Rilus who would claim not just a mortal lover but the daughter of the
king. The wizards seek revenge by calling the storm and winds to track
down the one who flees by craft upon the seas.
As the wind and waves drive the boat, from over the stern, the helmsman
listens to the breaking waves. He knows whether to bear off or ease up on
the helm to avoid the foam and breaking surge as the wave peaks and then
crashes down. With no light, sound alone guides his hands and keeps his
boat afloat.
But finally, in the dead of night, the wizards perceive how Rilus has
escaped the steady onslaught of the storm. And so by magic they banish all
sound from the sea even as they have cloaked the moon with clouds. And
now waves splash over the sides of the craft. The bilge begins to overflow.
But it no longer matters at all. Another wave breaks upon the stern and
the boat smashes upon a rocky shore dressed in black where waves break in
silence over slippery rocks. Thieves, pirates who stalk the coasts, come to
sack the ship. Kitan is killed by the crash and Rilus is taken hostage.
Nearby, however, High King Sustarna is visiting one of his castles near
the sea. One of the King's guards on patrol witnesses from a cliff the ship's
destruction and the pirates taking a survivor.
And when King Sustarna hears of this he personally leads his armed
guard to attack the pirates and rescue the man. Rilus is taken back to the
castle and Kitan is given an honorable burial. But upon discovering who
Rilus is, the King grants Rilus a boat to travel back home when he is
recovered. Manned by the king's own masters of sail, Rilus returns to his
own kingdom, a kingdom hidden in the mists of the sea to the West where
the sun lingers before it sets.
Rilus is the son of a king who lives without mortal limitations among
magical islands. And as a reward for the return of his son, the king offers
his own daughter, Mariel, in marriage to High King Sustarna. There is,
however, one provision, a geas (a magical obligation)--the High King must
never reveal who Mariel is or from where she has come.
And because the High King keeps the geas, his kingdom prospers greatly.
The wisdom and the enlightenment that appear in Ubarim are unmatched by
any other kingdom on earth.
A Strange Vision
But now Vittana slows the pace of his story as he no longer describes a
raging storm or royal actions. His voice deepens in pitch; sounds resonate
within hollow, dark places not found in the body. His intonation is haunting
and eerie.
Vittana's words evoke unknown realms as they enter the ear. The mind,
soul, and spirit are so enchanted they forget to fear when the boundaries
dividing distant worlds dissolve.
As Vittana speaks on, the light in the throne room of King Irkomen's
castle dims and turns pale green of its own accord. Everyone here will
swear afterward that they saw a young man and women walking toward each
other in the air in the midst of the room. But surely, wherever it is that this
couple meets, it is a place forbidden by the laws governing nature or the
realms kept carefully separated by space and time.
It is Rilus and Kitan who appear in the throne room after three hundred
and fifty years. No one can say for sure whether this is a conjuration from
the realm of the departed or a recollection woven from dream and vision.
Kitan's eyes glow red with pain and Rilus' eyes are hazel green from
searching for Kitan amid shadows and dreams. But now their meeting is
saddened by fate. Though the powers of magic have granted them the
chance to cross even past the boundaries separating life and death, this is
their last meeting.
They walk though the air in bodies composed of light. And Kitan says,
“Did you come here long ago?”
And Rilus answers simply, “I knew you would come.”
But now she too knew there was only a short time left in which they
could be with each other.
Five years before this meeting, the moon entered its fifteenth mansion
and Mars was conjunct with Venus in Sagittarius. On a piece of vanished
hazel wood, Rilus and Kitan inscribed a hexagram, two triangles entwined.
And around the corners were the sigils of six planets and in the center was
the sigil of a spirit from Venus.
And they sang a song together as they called upon the universe to bear
witness to their love, a love that joined the separate worlds of the Sidhe and
the world of mankind. The spirit of Love appeared to them and prophesized:
“The story of your love will be retold again through countless ages of time.”
And then the two lovers, in attempting to overturn fate itself, called upon
a star in the constellation of Sagittarius which is know in our world as Tau
Sagittari. But in those times this star was named Ugali after one of the
Guardians of our world whose wisdom empowers the perfection of love on
earth. Then the two lovers bound themselves with a sacred oath--one
sufficient, in calling out to a star, to receive an echo, a magical pulse, in
reply.
And so Rilus and Kitan drew upon a magic that we have not yet
rediscovered in our own time. Guided by Ugali, they stepped out of their
bodies and into the bodies of a king and a queen on the inner planes. And in
these forms, they were no longer bound by limitations of time and space, or
fate or human frailties.
If any eye had been there to see, it would have perceived an indestructible
jewel shining with the light of springtime and dawn forever captured in
newness. And round about them in the distance clearly appear the realms of
all gods, of all races, and of all beings. And shining from this crystal in all
directions is also a light blue and sparkling light dazzling as it illuminates
the waves of an ocean whose shores are all the worlds that will ever be.
And the Guardian Ugali briefly spoke to them about how their love--the
touch, the caress, the kiss, the word and deed--were like a magic key they
had found for entering Eternity.
But star magic of this kind must also yield to the limitations of human
mortality. And so the couple flee from kingdoms where love such as theirs
is not permitted. And so they were pursued by wizards. And the magic of
these wizards, though far less inspired, was hardened like cold steel from
ages of practice and from grim wars for survival. Rilus and Kitan had little
time together to build their love together. Still, in the love they shared, they
planted new dreams upon our world.
When Kitan died as that small craft crashed upon the rocks of the
Kingdoms of Ubarim, Rilus was still able to search for her through the
realms were she now journeyed among the dead. Their love was still
powerful enough to permit the walls of death to be breached, but only for so
long.
Rilus called upon a magic from primordial times that he allowed to flood
his soul. And in this way he found the pathways of spirit where the ancient
fathers had failed to enter. He found a gate that was not yet closed. And in
doing so, he sought to find for Kitan another body which she could enter and
through which she could fulfill their love for each other.
But in using this magic, he had bargained too much of his own soul to
journey forth to meet her. Overextended and exhausted, he lost the way
back to his own world. And so this love witnessed by stars and Guardians
ended in defeat.
But unknown to both Rilus and Kitan, their union in that magical but
unearthly place had brought forth a child. And this is how it was: when their
two hearts touched, so great was the power unleashed that another living
presence was created from out of their love.
This was a magical child. He did not have material form but he was like
a spirit. This child, not having the needs of a physical body, was so
detached he could find rest and peace as his feelings penetrated into rocks,
mountains, and trees.
Yet, from the beginning, the child was doomed. No other human being
could appear within the realm of his eyes. The curse of the wizards followed
even him. Still, he was able to wander as long as he wished through the
places on earth where his parents had passed--upon every path and road,
across every bridge and through every gate when his parents, during their
own childhoods, had walked upon the earth.
This child lived, then, in a world devoid of all human life. The human
race did not know of his existence and no one came to look for him. But
when in the night the child was able to cry, his tears, falling on real rocks
amid deserts or streams, would make lichens and algae glow with
phosphorescence.
I, Vittana, who stands before you now, I came into existence as this child.
I was self-aware before I existed as a human being and long before I was
born a mortal within your world. And in that realm of despair, I wandered
for centuries abandoned and desolate. All that time I existed without a
friend and without the touch of love upon my skin.
And in truth, I experienced moments of such loneliness that I felt I died
many times. I could not believe that the heart I was given continued to beat
or my lungs to breathe. Awakening in the middle of the night, I cried and
looking around myself--I saw I was in a place so cold and empty a million
broken hearts surrounded me in total darkness and silence.
But finally, after two and a half centuries, trapped in a realm between the
worlds, I began to gaze upon the stars at night. I studied the intricate threads
of wonder hidden in their light.
And as I watched the stars dancing and circling, a great bird of terrible
beauty who flies between the stars peered down and took note of my
existence. And as a majestic being of light, a wayfarer through the vastness
of space, an eternal sojourner himself, he found my loneliness irresistible.
In an instant, with one beat of his great wings, he flew down to our world.
Appearing before me, he raised his hand toward the sky and said, “Was not
the constellation Aquarius placed within the sky to remind every being of
friendship? Does not Aquarius exist so that when one heart calls out to
another a kindred spirit may be found amid the darkest wilderness?
“And is there not a life form dwelling within the oceans of your world, a
species of whales which like nomads travel, one group to the North Pole and
another to the South Pole? And if a whale looses its path, still, it is
welcomed by the other band though it journeys now to the other end of the
world?
“I now break this fate which has held you in this place of loneliness. You
shall take incarnation as a human being and join the race to which your
mother once belonged. But because of the isolation you have endured and
because of the visions of your father and mother, the power within your
songs shall arise from the very hearts of the stars. Your blood now mixes
with my own for you are my brother.”
But that huge bird said further: “But this geas I lay upon you, that you
may not know my name nor may you even dream of the land from which I
have come until that very moment in time when you cross that very
threshold and enter that land--for it is a place unknown within your soul and
I am forbidden by the laws of the universe from revealing it to you. You
must discover it on your own--and this is because to find your home, to
discover your greater source of peace and where you belong, is in itself an
act of creation.”
And so it is that my muse and the magic within my voice are derived
from this great bird whose eyes have burnt me with a song of an unknown
world where I belong--a world I could not find though I have searched the
stars and the universe for it. I looked, but my home remains hidden. Yet his
beauty torments me terribly. Though none of you can see him, he stands
before me now in this room. He is present whenever I sing.
There is no star in the sky whose songs I cannot weave into my poetry.
In every heart when the human and the Divine, when nature, gods, and
goddesses join as one, I capture that song within my poems. I am permitted
to cross over the starry abyss and to overcome all distance when I seek to
search out the secrets of love. There is nothing in the entire universe that
is hidden from the reach of my voice.
And the great bird showed me a vision. Ages and ages hence, my father
Rilus and my mother Kitan will meet again when a magical land opens a
gateway to the earth. And my father in that land shall be known as King
Chandab. My mother will meet him there and they shall become eternal
consorts.
The great bird of terrible beauty who flies between the stars went on,
“Through their love, a pathway shall be established upon the earth that shall
lead to the enlightenment of the world. I have spoken it. It shall be so.”
King Irkomen said: “Well done Vittana! I shall declare a new holiday in
honor of your Muse and your appearance upon earth.”
“And from your story I see that the ancient Queen Mariel from three
hundred and fifty years ago is actually your aunt. Recite for us now the
wisdom of Queen Mariel and King Sustarna through which this kingdom of
Ubarim was founded, for your knowledge extends beyond the wisdom of all
others in our land.”
King Sustarna and Queen Mariel
And so, in the tradition of bards who preserve the histories of a people,
Vittana begins reciting the wisdom of King Sustarna and Queen Mariel from
long ago--The legends of King Sustarna and Queen Mariel were handed
down for generations within the family, but until now they were never made
public.
King Sustarna's Wisdom
A woman's beauty, like a magic mirror, first distills and then embodies the
beauty of nature. Men have no such reflective power. A woman can pour a
man a cup of love. She can offer a man her soul. A woman can initiate a
man so he gains a taste and a vision of what is hidden within him.
But a woman cannot complete for a man the journey he must take on his
own. His union with her will always be incomplete if he cannot attain union
with nature and with his own inner spirit.
A man should not let a woman interfere with his work in life. A woman
should not let a man dim or diminish the sacred beauty she reflects. Both
the male and the female owe a greater allegiance to the Earth than they do to
each other.
The eyes of your lover are indeed a magic mirror. At first you will see
reflected in your beloved the fulfillment of the secret wishes hidden in
yourself. But, as with any magic or enchantment, the powers that amplify
your wishes and dreams, if not well utilized, change into their opposite. The
mirror, at a latter point in time, reflects back to you not love and beauty but
bitterness and illusion--it testifies to your own failures.
Therefore, value truth as much as love. Persevere with all your strength
when you gaze into this mirror. What you behold is the mystery of your
opposite. See beyond your personal desires. Within your counterpart, a god
or goddess is waiting to meet you, to reveal to you the most amazing
treasures.
The path to self-knowledge is full of obstacles and barriers. There are
places within the soul where men may not go. The waters are too deep. The
flow is too pure. If a man dares enter the feminine mysteries he will drown.
And there are places within the spirit where women may not enter:
beyond the worlds of form opposites are overcome and the Joy found there
is infinite. If a woman dares to enter these masculine mysteries she will be
burnt to a crisp.
But if a man could so enter and survive the Earth's womb, to dissolve
within that dark place and not lose his masculinity; if a woman could
journey into the heart of the sun and survive its fires and its light without
loss of her femininity, then the their spirits would no longer be subject to
gender limitations-They would have cast off their mortality and put on immortality. Such
individuals are then appointed as the guides and Guardians of the Earth and
of evolution. They become the creators of new worlds.
Eros is the god who weaves the filaments of connection that join us to
others in love. But he often fulfills his commission without regard to our
well-being. Therefore, treat Eros like you would a tiger. Admire his beauty
and his ferocity. But realize, if you abuse him or try to cage him, he will
attack you.
The way to master Eros is to offer him a Divine role to play. Listen to
me! There is nothing more erotic than starlight falling on the earth during
the dark of the night, than waves exploding in white foam on jagged shores,
than lightning, rain, mist, and fog, than the birds singing at dawn, than a gold
and red butterfly in flight, than the sun in its dazzling light, the moon when it
is full, than Belletrix or Beatelguese mounted on Orion's shoulders singing
songs of infinite bliss.
Eros empowers us to discover the most ancient and forgotten pathways of
matter, mind, and spirit--these he will willingly reveal to those who honor
his powers and his dark paths. Among these pathways there is a narrow
bridge that crosses over the abyss between primordial lust and Divine love.
Find this path!
Train your five senses to be as sharp as the assassin's dagger. When the
opportunity arises to cross over the abyss between lust and divinity, seize
this moment with absolute conviction. Fashion within yourself both great
stillness as well as actions that transform the world. Combine these and the
greatest beauty in the universe will respond when you call.
For each person there is a secret word of power that banishes the sorrow
and loneliness that haunt the human soul. When spoken aloud, it says:
“Come forth. Your love is now free to flow unobstructed, pure, and clear.”
The heart then becomes as radiant as the sun. The soul becomes a god or
goddesses who is now able to walk within our world. Do not ever complain
or be bitter with your inability to find or to give love. Instead, apply
yourself to mastering the magical arts.
One day, when I was in despair, I called out to the Lord of the Universe.
I called to the great Father who dwells beyond the Starry Vault. And yes,
He did answer me.
Appearing to me in a waking vision, His fingers touched my chest.
Looking downward within my body, I saw for the space of three hours
within my heart all the stars and countless galaxies revolving and whirling
throughout the universe.
No planet, living creature, spiritual being, comet, meteor, nebulae, or
particle of dust was not present within my awareness. This was His way of
revealing to me what He has concealed within the human heart. Then He
spoke and said, “I will let you in on a secret no god or goddess or religion on
your planet yet comprehends-“The most hidden purposes in life and the highest revelation of the Light
are revealed when you are attracted to the very thing that is least like
yourself and that you regard as the most inferior. Look for the secrets of the
future and for self-renewal within the darkest place within soul.”
And then He added casually: “I will give you a second tip that follows
from the first. It is a basic principle of cosmology: The universe will not end
until every heart is found and every soul becomes pure light.”
In summary, remember that the genders are based on the difference
between the Heaven and the Earth--these are the Two Great Lovers and they
are continually making love every day and in every moment.
There are times when a sacred space appears in which all opposites are
free to join. The human heart is so designed that the Heaven and the Earth
will seek to love each other though you as you love another. Therefore,
remember always, there is no greater power on earth than a man and a
women joined in love; and the destiny of the world is written upon the palms
of those who have found True Love.
Mariel's Wisdom
Mariel's way of sharing her wisdom with her children was not as direct and
verbal as was the King's. Her wisdom was not based on empirical
observation or metaphysical principles supplemented by outside
consultation. Her wisdom came from within. It was a way of being.
Jarvus, her third son, once said of Mariel, “I remember finding my
mother sitting on a rock not far from the castle. At first I was not sure what I
saw since it was still the hour of the wolf.
“I approached closer, about twenty yards from her, and I saw it was
Mariel. So as not to disturb her, I sat down and waited. But she did not
move even at noon when I went back to the castle.
“When I returned again in the evening she was still there sitting as still as
ever. I sat down again at a distance expecting, at this rate, to stay all night.
But in the middle of the night when I was dozing, I felt her hand on my
shoulder and she whispered in my ear: ‘Come Jarvus, you are ready.’
“We spent the rest of the night tracing the path of a small stream through
the forest. I was on one side and she was on the other. We moved
cautiously barely making a sound. She said we were hunting but she would
not tell me what we were hunting for. When morning came, I knew
somehow I was no longer the same person.
“One night, years late after she had died, I followed that stream again
through the forest. It was then I found what we were hunting. After quietly
walking for hours, a spirit appeared on the other side of the stream and
walked silently along parallel to me. Finally I turned and asked the spirit
who it was. The spirit replied, ‘I am the soul of the forest and I am a guide
through the darkest places of the heart.’
“My mother often taught in this manner, bending time in a circle back
upon itself. Sitting still, she cut through to the center of all action. She
could sit with her back to the tree and become the tree. Or if she sat by a
well, you could look into her eyes and feel the cool, rippling water beneath
the earth. You could sense the strata of rock where the underground stream
was contained; or, as if in a dream, you could travel back to the stream's
vivifying source in the water table beneath the mountain.
“One day she found in the forest an injured wolf. She brought it home
with her. And though it was wild, it was always tame as dog around her.
She seemed able to read its mind whenever she touched it.
“I learned from her that the energies of the earth flow through women's
bodies the way copper conducts electricity, the way silver vibrates to the
soul of the moon. Men, by contrast, have the power to build. They are
skilled in mapping the pathways to the treasures that exist deep within
women. Mariel said the opposition between men and women is as easily
overcome as the separation of two is joined in an embrace.
“She often spoke of the earth, the moon, and the sun--but it was not so
much in words as something you could see reflected within her eyes. The
Earth is She who endures in silence that we might pass through her darkness
and her densities. The moon is the place of our birth, the gateway through
which we pass into and out of life.
“And the sun is the dream which captures our heart. One day, we shall
drink from a wedding cup filled with solar light. Then we shall be cloaked
in beauty. Our joy shall be so great that new stars will appear in the sky to
celebrate our union with our beloved. And the music accompanying our
wedding procession will be the Song that sang the universe into existence.
All this was reflected within my mother's eyes.”
All of the King and Queen's children had a strange quality about them.
They could at odd moments lapse into a state of utter peace. In the silence
of the night, if they but paused and looked, they could perceive the world as
if transformed by a vision-Time was suspended, no longer moving forward, but as a calm sea
encompassing past, present, and future between its shores--a sea whose
waves moved with ancient harmonies and whose winds carried the dreams
of the future. Adrift in timelessness, they could perceive the mysterious
forces at the roots of their being and that guided the unfolding of the world.
Mariel's words
One day, however, shortly before Mariel died, she summarized her thoughts.
She said, “When you hear the sound of the stream, you hear the blood of the
earth flowing in your own veins. It is the life force of Nature Herself
renewing, transforming, and joining life to life. The sensuality at the heart
of the stream is the same yielding and playful delight expressed in the
saying, ‘All pleasures and rituals of love are the rites of the Goddess.’
“When you hear the wind in the tree leaves shaking, the sound in your ear
drum echoes down into the same mysterious chambers hidden in sea shells
and the caves beneath mountains. Listen and you will hear the ancient
wisdom of the ancestors whispering to you of their sorrows and of destinies
still unborn.
“And when you place your hand on a rock you will discover the power of
keeping silence and standing still. Like the rock, learn to enter a place
unassailable where no enemy can reach you, no fear touch you, no doubt
besiege you.
“Watch carefully when you make a fire out of twigs, branches, and logs.
When you sit before its warmth and watch its flames flickering, its wood
burning, its ashes building, there you will discover the secret behind all
passions--their sources, the purposes which renew, the ceaseless hunger to
grow stronger, to expand. There is the power to bring light, to heal, to
touch, and to inspire the members of a community to serve each other in
love.
“And the ashes, whether of wood or of desire, carry the memories of all
that has gone before. The dust as it sits in a pile bears the weight of the past.
As the dust collapses, as it is carried on the wind, it reflects the pageantry of
Life itself. Great dramas played out millennia before are enacted again.
What has been forgotten puts on new garments and customs and repeats its
performance. The ashes appear useless, but they whisper the secrets of
ancient wisdom.
“My children, it may seem to you that feminine beauty is passive. When
you try to grasp it with your mind, you may think that women are like
Nature, holding all treasures of the soul within themselves but only in a
latent and unawakened form. This is not the truth.
“It is the woman who pushes the infant out of herself so it can be born
into a new world. And it is the woman who yearns to unite with her Lord.
This is the one whom she seeks and the one whom the Earth Herself quietly
awaits. He is the one and no other who has journeyed forth to a place
beyond matter and beyond nature. He has found a place of pure spirit and
embodies within himself the powers of creation!
“And now he returns for his Beloved, to join with her. He is the Eternal
One and he alone is the true consort of the Earth and of the spirit within
women. Observe carefully any woman on earth and you will perceive this
quiet dignity reflected within her eyes--she is waiting for her Beloved to
return. It is this yearning for the Lover that motivates the unfolding of the
world.”
The Death of Queen Mariel
When Queen Mariel's children were fully grown and she knew they could
succeed in life without her, she knew it was her time to depart. But the
secret of the Queen, from where she had come, she revealed on her deathbed
to her four children.
She said that her father was king of a great mountain range that existed on
another continent. He was not a human being at all but an immortal. As his
direct descendent, she could choose to return to the realms of Sidhe when
her body died or else she could join herself to human evolution and so
reincarnate as a mortal.
But she refused to do either. She had fallen in love with the land of
Ubarim. So upon her death she gave her soul to the land so she would
always be near to her bloodline and to the earth. Her act was analogous to
the choice of a highly developed saint. At death, these adepts can choose to
end their series of incarnations and to dissolve their souls into the One Light.
They become a part of the greater whole but lose their individual identity.
But Mariel, by contrast, released the entirety of her soul and spirit into
the land itself. She became a part of the trees, the plants, the stones, the
hills, the mountains, the meadows, the ground and the underground streams.
Before this the land held a beauty and harmony that was rich and
enchanting. Now it contained a spiritual presence as well--Mariel's energy
could be felt in the land but her presence was no longer focused through a
personality or conscious intelligence. And this was her wish--to be forever
joined to the land and to flow as part of the life force through the blood and
bones of her descendants.
Some say, however, there is another alternative. Mariel did in fact attain
to astral immortality. But she chose not to focus herself though her
historical identity as Mariel. Rather, as someone deep in trance, she now
holds the entire Land of Ubarim within her heart.
When Mariel died early one morning, the king, stricken by grief, cried for
many hours. For a few minutes in the afternoon, however, his tears stop
flowing. He sat staring into the distance. It was then that he composed this
poem:
To Mariel
It has grown quiet now-My tears are no longer falling
But my hands and arms continue to search for you
I have told them that the night is deep
I have told them that the stars were placed in the sky
To remind us of the Mysteries still hidden within our hearts
But their longing is beyond the power of words to reach
That is why my tears
Betray even poetry
And continue falling.
Male and female join
As night and day
Yet even a star so nobly poised
Amid the void, the void which holds its mysterious heart
Even a star celebrates its own light
In the face of the planets
Revolving around it
Yet the child's cry reminds us both
Of the womb from which we were born
And the destiny we have yet to attain
But the child's cry can be comforted
The child held close, the child loved
But who will comfort my heart
As I search the night
As tears continue searching my cheeks
Still looking for your smile
Still longing to hear your heartbeat?
No seashell recalls the songs of the sea
Or the waves rippling and falling upon the shore
As well as my ears remember your laughter
As well as my skin
Remembers your love
If I could have but one more hour
To walk beside you
To share your company as you shove off
From the shores of the life we have spent together
But you would not grant me this request
Even if you could
You know I would not return
But would continue on beside you.
I tell my eyes
It is no use
They will never see you again
But they are more persuasive than I
They say they see you everywhere I look
In a thousand settings
In a thousand memories
Which still beg to comfort me, to hold me, to love me
As I had hoped to love you every day of my life.
I have grown quiet now
My tears are no longer falling
My blood flows through my body
My lungs continue to breathe
My arms and hands are calm
My eyes and ears are at peace
We no longer argue
Where and when we will find you
Or how we will live without you
You see, I have taken over their cause-In my innermost heart
I speak on their behalf:
One heart in quiet consultation with another heart
Time, space, life, and death
They can no longer keep us apart
And I say what I would have said anyway
And what you know is true also:
I love you with all my heart
And I will love you forever and again I say
Mariel I love you so
I miss you so much
But I know you my dear
You would even find it funny
That I use a towel now
Instead of a handkerchief
To dry away my tears.
Well, Vittana told many other stories that night at King Irkomen’s party.
But I think what we have heard gives a taste of the scope and range of
Vittana’s voice that weaves beauty, wonder, and strange visions into each
new song.
Note: I should mention that poetry is written or spoken by nearly everyone
in the kingdom of Ubarim. The kingdom is dedicated to the ideal of
personal love and poetry is an indispensable aid to this end. In addition,
another unusual activity, alchemy, is also part of the sciences, the theologies,
and the arts. Among other things, alchemy deals with the joining and fusing
of opposites. In this regard, A’ia is not at all unusual when it comes to
making observations about the differences between the sexes or the quest to
understand the amazing destiny the sexes conceal.
These legends of Ubarim are in part inspired by the gnome magician
named Muscar. Muscar is interested in the alchemy of nature on a planetary
level.
The Prophet A’ia
A Saying by A’ia:
Some say that love is the law and that this law requires a strong will. My
way of saying this is slightly different: Love is the purpose underlying the
universe. But to fulfill this purpose, you must learn to create with the will
and power of the Creator, for this is what love asks and requires of us.
On the prophetic art: To enter this space, you must walk through the darkest
place with perfect, complete, and absolute faith.
On Magic: Some say that magic speeds things up so you get what you want
in a way that is fast, even miraculous. But I say that magic slows things
down so you do things right the first time around.
The “Early” and the “Later” A’ia
In Ubarim a few centuries later, there were theological debates over whether
there were two different prophets named A’ia. The “early” A’ia was
obviously imbued with great sensuality and erotic magnetism. It shows in
all his writings. The “later” or second A’ia was a man of God, a genuine
saint.
Among liberal scholars, ever ready to impose on ancient texts their
naturalistic presuppositions, it was obvious that the original writings of A’ia
were written by two different men. More conservative scholars asserted that
the writings, in spite of the different styles and content, were written by the
same man. A’ia had obviously undergone a great transformation that
accounted for the divergence of purpose, content, and style.
To be persuasive, however, the conservative position had to account for
how a man of such sensual appetites could become holy and attuned to God.
And since the conservatives were not known for their understanding of
sensuality, they were unable to clarify this matter.
There was of course a third interpretation offered by the priests in the
Temple of Venus. They agreed with the conservatives over the liberals in
that they said there was only one A’ia. But they disagreed with both the
liberal and conservative interpretations in one important aspect.
These priests said it was obvious to anyone who knew anything about
love that the so called “later” was actually the “early” A’ia and vice versa.
That is to say, the saintly scriptures attributed to A’ia were the work of an
idealistic young man whose interest in God was all-consuming. But he had
not yet learned through experience the part sensuality has to play in divine
illumination.
When this idealistic young prophet grew older, he came to realize that
bliss and ecstasy are the gifts of God, the radiance of God’s face as He
reveals the mysteries of love. This point was, in fact, too obvious to debate.
But as a matter of fact the conservative and the liberal theologians never
could understand this point in any case.
Tavern Tales--The “Early” A’ia
Yes, in Ubarim, they have taverns, bars, and strip joints, just like you can
find in most countries if you have the time. Women are ever so fine, the
aspect of God that is more hidden, mysterious, and often left out of the
alchemists’ and philosophers’ equations much to their detriment. Here is the
“early” A’ia now. Let’s follow him as he goes about his business.
It is a large tavern with fireplaces blazing, waitresses shouting orders to
cooks in the kitchen, and pillars holding up the roof as if the original trees
had been left standing, only stripped of their branches. The smell of stew is
in the air and of cedar. There is that slightly stale, alcoholic aroma of wine
spilled on the floor and the scent of women dancing or more likely pulsating
on a few tables here and there.
Through the door comes a young man. Thin, even then his hair receding,
his eyes nonetheless are what distinguish him. There is a hunger and
craving you have never seen in anyone’s eyes before. Yes if you looked into
his eyes, you would see an insatiable fire burning, a fire both illuminating
and yet striving to find its way through a dark place where there are no
charts or maps.
He sits at a table casually, quietly, studying the women in the room.
Including the waitresses, the patrons, and the dancers, there are twenty-three
women. He orders a local brew and sips it as another part of his mind scans
for anything out of the ordinary, something exotic, refined, or carefully
hidden behind the obvious.
A’ia feels a hand on his shoulder and a voice that comes with it. “Hi A’ia.
I haven’t seen you for ages,” the dark haired beauty says as she sits down on
his lap the way a cat both curls up and unwinds at the same time attaining an
exquisite state of relaxation and grace. If you were here and saw these two
you too would probably conclude that they are lovers who know every secret
of each other’s bodies both by light and by dark, by day and by night, by
contentment and by passion at its height.
In fact, two years before when she first sat on his lap, A’ia began to
stroke her back. It took him a few minutes, but he soon found that it was her
upper arms that were the most sensitive part of her body. He drew the tips
of his fingers across her skin like a cat’s paw, like the lips of a gentle wind
descending and tracing ripples on the still surface of a lake. She said in that
moment, “I am melting into your hands.”
She went on, “The men who come here--they are always grabbing for
butt, breasts, and working their way toward the crotch. Men all want the
same thing. Some are just more patient and relaxed as they pursue it. And a
few know how to work slowly toward their goal. But when you touch me, I
feel like I have entered a dream from which I do not wish to awake, it is so
full of pleasure and peace.”
He bought her a drink and they talked. She had traveled through the
kingdoms of Ubarim working as a dancer. She had fallen in love and, yet
never quite content, decided to move on. Dancing is sometimes practiced as
an art and in other places it has nothing to do with the heart. But silver and
copper could always be found for someone with style in her smile, play
about her hips, and an inviting scent in her breasts.
What do men want from women and what do women want from men?
These questions have been asked in every kingdom. “What have you
learned working as a dancer?” A’ia asked her--her name was Crystal. “Men
are pretty much all stamped from the same press. Their needs are simple.
Their interests are eating, sleeping, sports, and sex and that is about it.
That’s what is on their minds when they come to a place like this.”
“And what about you?” she asked. What have you learned about
women?” A’ia replied, “They each have their own taste and grace. They
each have their own fragrance and way they trust and distrust. And you can
see Her in their eyes every time if you look close and in the way they speak-the Goddess of the Earth is speaking through them. Sometimes it is very
hidden like the dark moon and sometimes it is open like the full moon
rising.”
“You want to run that by me again? I didn’t follow any of what you
said,” she responded. “Try this,” he replied. “Close your eyes, let go, and
relax. Relax more. Relax.” He began stroking her upper arms and then he
did what he does so well. He entered her body with his mind and searched
for her feminine essence. He felt her breasts, her hips, and the entire inside
of her body the way you put on a glove that fits just right.
If you asked A’ia later on how he did this he would say, “Its like being a
well and feeling an underground stream flow through you. You let go into
that flow and then you become the water. This cool, receptive, magnetic,
sweet, and tender sharing of life is not at all easily found in the male body.
But it is in every women if you know where to look.”
And this is what A’ia did with Crystal in that moment. He searched for
and found the watery feminine energy that flows through her body. And
then he joined and became one with her feminine essence which is like
turning water into wine when you mix completely the male fire with the
female receptivity. Crystal at this point felt intoxicated.
But he did not stop there. He went further. He searched for her passion
that was, when he found it, a hunger to be touched--a burning physical
sensation that craves to combine with another. This was not at all like water.
It was like a boa constrictor coiling around the life it wished to contain in
itself.
When you add a match to a candlewick, the candle shines. Focusing his
mind, A’ia found and brought to the surface crystal’s desires. The touch of
his mind and his fingers caressing her upper arms was enough to bring her to
orgasm. But he did not stop there. He brought to her orgasm again and
again. Crystal had never felt so relaxed or gratified in her life.
You might wonder why these two did not then and there become lovers.
Perhaps it was because Crystal had danced in every kingdom in Ubarim and
had learned to go with the moment. You do not need to cling to a good
experience, lock it up, possess it, and chain it, making it captive and a slave
so it surrenders its will to the need to conform and be secure. She takes each
moment as it comes. That’s why it was so easy for A’ia to do what he did
with her.
And for A’ia’s part, he too was not interested in binding another’s soul by
setting and then harvesting some marital or romantic trap. No, A’ia wanted
much more than what women normally were willing to offer. A’ia had
never heard the saying but he would have immediately agreed with the
words: “The greatest treasure in all the world is a woman who loves a man
with all of her heart.” A’ia was searching for this love and he would not
settle for anything less.
You might not agree with his methods or where he was looking. But
considering his life and his accomplishments, I think you would have to
agree that A’ia was definitely a man on a quest.
And so two years later after that first meeting, Crystal sits on his lap again
and without thought or effort she melts into him. He has this way with his
mind. Even when they are not together, she occasionally can feel him inside
her. He comes upon her like dawn warming your skin when you are still
sleeping or as the moon rising fills your room with its soft light at night.
Over the years she found that if she wanted to, she could pour herself a
glass of wine and call out to his mind. And then taking a sip, she could feel
him as clearly as the air she feels as it fills her breasts, as the rising pulse of
her heart when she is aroused, and the warmth that overflows form her toes
when she relaxes and lets go.
And what was A’ia’s way of thinking about this kind of telepathic and
empathic sex if that is what you want to call it? A’ia once said, “Women
you can arouse with a gentle caress and a whispered word in their ears.
Men, by contrast, need more physical stimulation than do women, for that is
the nature of the male orgasm. But what is an orgasm to a man once you
break it down into its components? It is release and letting go. It is feeling
at peace and complete. It is being united again with nature, so much at ease
that you pass beyond every other need.
“But all of these things are found in the cool, magnetic, and watery energy
that a woman contains. If you are with a woman who willingly allows her
feminine energy to flow through you like an unbroken river, then you have
the same thing as an orgasm, but much, much more. The nervous system,
the nerve endings, the brain, the enflamed imagination, the breath, the
heartbeat, the craving to search and to possess--all of these things are more
than satiated when a woman’s beauty takes possession of your body.
“The depths of a woman’s femininity cannot be measured. There is no
beginning or end to it. The height of the masculine mysteries is the power to
create from out of nothing after the fashion and image of the Creator. The
nature of the feminine mysteries is a nothingness that contains all that has
been created, every desire that can be felt and fulfilled, every dream that can
be dreamed, and every image that can be imagined.
“When a man and a woman experience this--the perfection of love--in that
moment there is only oneness forever new. There can be no doubt or
confusion as to why I study and celebrate women. They contain the beauty
of the universe I celebrate.”
A’ia and Crystal will be caressing, trading stories, and sipping wine most
likely until the tavern closes about half way between midnight and dawn.
But there is another girl A’ia visits who dances in the tavern across the
street. Her name is Luna. She is not working tonight. You could say that
Luna is his consort. He says about her that no one in all of Ubarim cuddles
or molds herself to a man’s body as good as she does. Luna once said to
A’ia, “When I am with you all I feel is love.”
And A’ia also asked Luna the proverbial question, “What have you
learned about men since you have begun dancing?” Luna answered, “The
only reason a man is interested in a woman is to have sex or children.”
“Luna,” A’ia said, “What would men say about women that is on the
same level as your description?”
Luna looked into A’ia’s eyes and saw the mirth and the playfulness and
so she accepted the challenge. She replied, “Men would say about women
pretty much the same thing--what women want most from men is money and
status that goes with it. Some want children and a few want sex. Do I pass
your test?”
A’ia said, “The first part. Now here is the more difficult question, “What
do men want from women that is behind and underneath the desire for sex
and children?” Without hesitating, Luna replied, “They want the beauty of
women in their lives. They want the oneness sex implies. They want the
tender love they see in children’s eyes. Does it surprise you that a dancer
can match you word for word and phrase for phrase and then go on to ask
the next question the conversation requires?”
“Don’t stop now. You are doing so well,” A’ia answered.
Luna went on, “And so I too have a test for you. Answer this: “What do
women want from men that is underneath the desire for bread and the blind
hunger in their wombs to bear children?”
A’ia replied, “They want the man’s strength and power to join with their
own to make a home. And in that home they want love to flow without
barriers or boundaries through body and soul.”
Have you ever seen two little birds sitting on a small branch next to each
other? The one bird raises itself up and down making the branch sway
around. The other bird looks back and chirps and then taps the top of the
other’s back as it hops over to the other side. And then they both chirp and
sing as they nestle shoulder to shoulder. Watching Luna and A’ia flirting
reminds me of this little scene from nature.
Some would object to the gender bias such flirtation implies. They
would complain that the role of women is degraded. But I would point out
that in Ubarim there is no discrimination among the priests in regard to
women. This is true even in the Temple of Mars as is seen in the case of
Raran who is without question regarded as the most formidable warrior in
the land. And where at present all the kings are men, the queens were often
more renowned and famous for their great accomplishments. You would
have to say that in this age women knew how to get things done without
having to rage or complain.
When A’ia feels Luna’s love inside of him, he says that she is generous
the way the ocean gives birth to life and receives all rivers into herself; the
way the mountains are shaped from beauty and silence; she gives herself
with a trust that is free of fear and doubt. When A’ia puts his mind inside
her body, it is like discovering the center of his own heart.
A’ia can also cause Luna to have an orgasm just by concentrating on her
body. Within her is a heaviness that takes possession of her consciousness
awakening a hunger and a craving like the waves that rise and collide with
the shore being drawn by the lunar gravity. When A’ia becomes one with
her, he is imbued with a mysterious power.
If you think of the earth at night, the dark side of the planet, and all that
this darkness touches and contains, A’ia becomes like this night. His
consciousness is so amplified he becomes a divine enchantment. He is,
through oneness with a woman, a specific manifestation of God’s
omnipresence. He then moves without form, thinks without thought, and
feels without the need for image.
What is curious, however, is that these two women are completely jealous
of A’ia. For Crystal and Luna, you could no more own or possess A’ia then
you could possess the wind. Like the wind, you might be able sometimes to
predict its actions but you cannot control or direct them.
There are other women I could discuss. Like I say, A’ia made a study of
women for about two decades searching the depths of their souls, the
sensuality of their bodies, and the pleasures it is theirs to give and receive. It
is said that the fool who persists in his folly becomes wise. Perhaps that was
A’ia’s mode of operation.
Did A’ia ever find a woman who loves him with all of her heart? That is
a very good question. Let me answer it this way. In the end, A’ia
discovered that loving a woman with all of his heart and being loved by her
with all of her heart in return was the same thing as entering the heart of
God--for what is the image of God, the way in which He speaks, and the
being through which His Presence is known but that of a man and a woman
who in love become one?
There is another incident worth mentioning before we move on to
discussing the “later” A’ia. It had become known that there was something
extraordinary about a certain fellow who enjoyed dancing out in the desert
beneath a full moon. Perhaps there were tricks of light, excessive
imagination, or superstitious presumptions, but a suspicious report began to
reach the ears of local authorities. More and more individuals who went to
watch A’ia’s dancing said that they saw a woman manifest and dance with
him.
The dancing A’ia did was along the lines of what might in our own time
be called Chi Kung. A’ia moved in ways that imitated the trees’
blossoming, the clouds forming and dissolving, birds in flight, animals
fleeing or attacking, the seasons unfolding--all the elements through which
life nourishes and expresses itself.
But the woman who appeared and danced with A’ia had the movements
of a woman who was in love. Her dance was erotic. At times, she swirled
and swayed as if ecstasy and pleasure had taken possession of her in order to
taste life as we experience it here on earth.
It was actually very beautiful to see. As his arms drifted like the wind,
she moved beneath them like a whirlwind. As his hands formed the claws of
a dragon, she turned and twisted her body as if to express the ferocity of a
tiger. As his body swayed like the branches of a tree in the wind, she
blended with him, as if there was one breath moving between the two of
them.
I have to admit the only place I have ever seen such beauty expressed as
movement between two human beings is here in this vision of Ubarim. But I
am quite sure it shall return and become a natural part of our world in due
season. Sometimes you just have to want something enough before it will
happen.
Now the High King had always felt that watching the high priestess
dance at the beginning of the Great Rite was one of the high points of his
life. But now he had a report from one of his intelligence ministers, a man
named Rambob, that the woman seen dancing with A’ia was more beautiful
and graceful than any young priestess with her erotic dance of cosmic
oneness and ecstasy. With a report like that it was completely predictable
that the High King would make the journey to see with his own eyes if this
was true or not.
And so one day the High King of Ubarim came out to watch A’ia dancing.
The King made camp about a mile away and then road out by himself. He
dismounted from his horse and walked past those who sat on the rocks
watching from a distance. No one had every ventured closer to this dancing
figure than a hundred feet. But the king, being a king, thought he would
walk right up and see for himself if the woman was real, a phantom, or an
imaginary creation.
As the King approached, he too saw the woman dancing with A’ia. But
the King could not really tell if the sight was due to light received by his
physical eyes or a product of telepathic origination. So the King approached
even closer thinking to himself that he would touch her in order to find out.
And then it happened. As his hand reached for her skin, the King entered
a trance and fell down upon the ground and began to prophesy. Of course,
any of the higher priests from the eight temples would have told you that this
incident was just a matter of the King’s nervous system becoming
overloaded. In Ubarim, as A’ia had discovered on his own, it is well known
among initiates that women contain mysterious power. And if a man can
access that power through ritual or ceremony, through arts such as poetry, or
through love, then the man’s own power, as I have mentioned, is vastly
amplified.
But the King had never experienced any of this. As his hand reached to
touch the woman, his fingers and then his palm became saturated with a
cold, pure magnetism, a primal power. The King felt a woman’s orgasm
pulsing through his body as if this dancing woman was the earth turning and
rising as she embraced the sky.
In the few seconds before he fell down, the King felt all the muscles of
his body rhythmically contracting. He felt a drawing in, a gathering. It was
an insatiable hunger like the hunger in the dark void between the stars and in
the same moment it was the taste of an infinite peace that all the
constellations in the universe catch a glimpse of in their dreams.
Normal male consciousness is not used to confronting such contradictions
so it is easy to understand why the King’s mind collapsed beneath the strain.
Well, I hope you will forgive me if these stories lean a little too heavily upon
poetry. But this is another psalm, the one the King spoke as he lay on the
ground. It is another vowel from the cosmic language with which God’s
voice sings. Spoke the king in a state of trance:
I am the benevolence of Divine Providence
I create, I inspire, I guide
I make all things new in the fullness of time.
I am the wish-fulfilling gem
I satisfy your deepest cravings
And reveal your highest path to perfection.
I am the mysterious nexus:
Through my soul pass
The most obscure forces
Holding history in their grasp.
I alter molecular vibrations with my touch
Amid your worst nightmare,
Your greatest fear,
Your obstacles
Impenetrable and severe
I open the gateway to freedom.
Who celebrates these things:
The beauty of the earth and sky uniting
The tossing and turning of the seasons in wild passion
And this also:
The vast, unknown reaches
Within a heart without hope-Swirling cosmic dust
Giving birth to stars
Out of the dark womb of infinite space.
My wealth is the joining
Of matter and spirit without limit
And my consort is the fire
Illuminating the world with universal love.
The Temple of the Sun, shortly after these words were spoken, made the
King an “honorary” priest in token of his revealing a new note named “UE”
in the cosmic language.
The “Later” A’ia
It is somewhat hard to account for the nature and work of the “later” A’ia.
As the story is told, however, it is said that one day A’ia had a vision. He
was “caught up” in the spirit and taken into the future. There he foresaw the
destruction of Ubarim. And in this vision, a great spirit who overshadows
the planet earth and watches over and inspires its political evolution spoke to
him. The spirit said, “This is what will happen unless you chart for your
land another path, unless you forge from your will another option.”
A’ia then turned away from his studies of women and of how the divine
feminine appears within them in countless varieties of energies manifesting
pleasure and ecstasy. He went off into a desert of cactus and white sand
dunes, of vermilion cliffs, arroyos, ravines, and riverbeds left dry for
hundreds of years. He went there to wrestle with God--to question, debate,
persuade, and to interrogate until he found for the human race another
destiny, one less violent and destructive.
A’ia’s Meditation of Peace for Ubarim
Here is a peace meditation that the “later” A’ia one day taught a fellow
prophet.
Under the law of love, we can become one with any individual or any
number of spirits, creatures, or beings so that all separation is overcome--it
matters not if it is a friend or an enemy, a lover or a complete stranger. The
same principle applies. Consciousness is without any form restriction and
distance cannot hinder its application.
We are able to transfer our consciousness anywhere in order to fulfill a
higher purpose. We can place our awareness into a farmer or a king, an
archangel or a bee, a mountain or a flower. If you utilize your full
concentration, then the two can become one. Let us proceed.
Consider the High Priest of Ubarim. We shall not distract him from his
many duties. We shall be as faint as a shadow in the corner of his room and
as gentle as the current of air that passes by without causing the candle flame
to flicker. Enter this man’s mind.
Become his five senses--taste, smell, touch, sight, and sound--perceive as
he perceives through his body. His body is now your body. Sense the
heartbeat and the rhythm of his breath.
Now become his memories. Pass through the dreams he had last night.
Sense his deepest desires and the visions that lead him toward the light. His
soul is your soul--every emotion he has ever felt, flow with it and make it
your own.
Sense his connections to others both past and present. All of those who
have touched his life, feel their touch within your soul. And sense the spirit
within him, the deeper levels of his conscience and all that inspires and
guides him. Let this conscience and inspiration shine within you as if it
arises from out of your bones. As we meditate now, become this individual
so there is no remainder of yourself--there is only his vibration within your
consciousness.”
Well, that is just a brief summary of a meditation A’ia had mastered. This
meditation is a warm-up exercise for the practice of omnipresence. It is not
very difficult. It just requires a little imagination, a little feeling and
empathy.
A’ia practiced this meditation for decades. After a while, A’ia could
sense the innermost thoughts and feelings of anyone in Ubarim. He could
also hold in his consciousness the awareness of the kings and the high priests
of Ubarim all in the same moment. He had an unusual affinity for this kind
of practice.
Now there is a subtle difference between the magical use of crystal balls
that King Irkomen had acquired and this practice of A’ia’s. Irkomen’s
magic worked by amplifying thought. Thoughts became so powerful that
they could kill or command another’s will.
A’ia, by contrast, was not using the power of mind as much as a power of
love. In a later age, men such as Balaam could concentrate to such an extent
that they could call any spirit to them, to hold conversation or seek to fulfill
a purpose. But A’ia was not interested in bending others to his will or
applying power to accomplish a purpose. His interest was in the love that
called the universe into being and that holds all things within its heart.
By way of comparison, it might seem that other characters such as
Abstrect, Hirah, and Vittana are the more powerful individuals in Ubarim,
that is, without trying to figure where King Irkomen fits in. But even these
four did not determine the fate of Ubarim, no, not through wars or songs or
the magic of true love. You see, behind the scenes and unknown to
everyone else, it was the prophet A’ia who had the greater clout.
The karmic principle is always the same for every age and land--in order
to ascend into the light or to become a greater servant of love, you must first
master the darkness or else comprehend the nature of true malice.
Otherwise, the noble cause, the high ideal, or the warm embrace cannot
abide. They are displaced by another power that takes away their life.
I think that message was clearly stated in the legend of Camelot. If you
are going to found a kingdom based on justice and chivalry, you have to
come to terms, wheel and deal, and make peace with lust and malice.
Otherwise, every noble action is offset by a counterbalance.
But if you are free of fear, if you can open you heart to embrace all that is
within life, and if then you are able to see the world as it really is, then and
only then will the influence of your love never end. A’ia could see and
easily overturn King Irkomen’s use of cosmic evil. He could comprehend
the source of Hirah’s will and love, of Abstrect’s enlightenment, and
Vittana’s mysterious Muse of inspiration. A’ia could also probe the depths
of the forces that were seeking to determine the fate of Ubarim.
You have to be very careful when your power is this great. Everyone is
in life in order to learn and to become transformed. If you take away
another’s choice, then you take away from them the opportunity to learn as
well. Then, in another age, they will seek to express and experience what
was denied them, whether that experience be creative and fulfilling or
destructive and full of desolation.
This is why A’ia did not save Ubarim from eventual destruction though it
was within his power to do so. What he did do is provide it with several
centuries of peace so that every religious and spiritual impulse that is within
the human soul could find expression and fulfillment. It was an astonishing
gift A’ia offered mankind.
The main drama that plays out in Ubarim is told in another book. It
follows a course of events in which Hirah and Parvan play the central roles.
But no one takes note about the man behind the scenes, largely unknown,
who helped to write the script. In a our age of the world, as John two
thousand years ago foretold, another man shall appear who is a lot like A’ia.
The Bible refers to him as one of two and calls these individuals witnesses.
The challenge they face to preserve light on earth is greater than even A’ia
with all the problems of his age and civilization could imagine.
A Conversation with a Cosmic Dragon
A’ia also had an interesting conversation with the cosmic dragon who
inspires King Irkomen. You must know how it is. When you seek God, that
is the source of all light, those mighty beings who inhabit the darkness
notice your flight. And then they come round if only to see if they can
knock you down.
In the cosmology of Ubarim, there were mighty beings who inhabited the
dark, swirling clouds of dust that eventually condensed and gave birth to the
sun. But in the process, some of those spirits radically transformed. They
changed from gathering cosmic dust into radiant beings of light. They had
discovered how to unite directly with God, the Creator of the universe.
But many other of these cosmic beings did not transform. They did not
discover a source of inspiration that is infinite. And so they remained
gatherers, collectors, like in the fables about dragons who collect and hoard
gold. And there was one further defining quality some of them had. Some
hated the fire of fusion and the solar light and the inspiration these implied
because these things remained beyond their grasp.
And so one of these mighty dragons showed up and presented himself to
A’ia. But contrary to what you might expect from such an encounter
between a spirit of great malice and a human being, it was the dragon who
was surprised. A’ia thought of himself as a normal, everyday kind of guy.
Sure he liked to dance and drink and, when he was younger, he loved to flirt
with women. But those were like hobbies, minor obsessions, things that
brought him exquisite pleasure. You can’t knock a guy for having a good
time or doing what feels so right.
On the other hand, there always was this other side to A’ia even when he
was young. The greater spirit that inhabited A’ia was free to speak through
him whenever it needed. If someone challenged A’ia in a certain way or
asked him just the right question, it was this spirit and not A’ia’s personality
that responded. The dragon spoke to this spirit within A’ia and not just the
man who had made it his custom to haunt taverns. And so A’ia replied with
a “voice” suitable for the occasion.
The dragon said, “Though you have cleverly disguised your self in the
form of a human being, I know who you are. You cannot hide your identity
from me. It is impossible to miss. You are the dark eye that consumes the
sky and drains the stars of their light. You are the prototype, the source from
which the words emptiness and abyss were forged.
“And now you have incarnated as a human being. How quaint! But you
shall not overturn my purposes. I hold the kingdoms of Ubarim under my
spell and I shall destroy them according to my will.”
“I am not here to interfere with your work, for even you have a sacred
purpose to accomplish,” A’ia replied.
“Then why have you journeyed to this star system and to this third planet
from the sun? What purpose could possibly draw you to earth? What
mystery is hidden here that I have failed to see it?”
A’ia said, “Perhaps you and I have a greater bond than you imagine. I
will only say this: In the fullness of time, you will incarnate as a woman in
human form so that you might experience the other side of life. After a long
journey and many quests, long after Ubarim is gone, you shall become like
those whose beauty you now envy and seek to destroy. In that day, you shall
become enlightened.”
Now you have to understand that this ancient dragon was, if anything,
exceptionally skilled in being devious. I mean, when your basic, primordial
instinct is to survive by growing more powerful, you learn to test everything
and to seize upon every moment as an opportunity to acquire what you want.
And so, pacing back and forth, smiling to himself that he had A’ia in a
well-designed trap, the dragon spoke: “Your intent is to turn to me to the
light. To do this, you must first find within me something that can be
redeemed. There is no such thing!”
A’ia replied, “I know what is at the core of your being, and every
thought, action, and scheme that you have ever employed. What is within
you that is pure and ordained to be fulfilled in due season is your longing for
power without limit. This longing for power is nothing else than a divine
inspiration.
“In another age of the world, I will separate this part of you that is
genuine from the part of you that is committed to destruction. And to this
part I will offer power without limit--an offer even you cannot refuse. But
the price I will require is that you renounce your lust for destruction and
your promotion of chaos. Given this offer and choice, even you, at the core
of your being, will accept transformation without hesitation.”
The dragon was truly perplexed. You see, dragons such as this have
always perfectly understood what it is bind and control another’s mind.
They understand a pack that cannot be broken because the soul is bound to
it. They understand domination and subjugation. They know perfectly well
that the rule of thumb that is in effect throughout the entire universe is that
the stronger has power over the weaker.
And as a natural consequence, this dragon was a master of guile,
enchantment, illusion, manipulation, fabrication, and denial. But our dragon
has a blind spot in his imagination. He does not understand the source of
genuine inspiration and this, among other things, involves the ability to
create something new from out of nothing.
And so, in his perplexity, the dragon asked, “How can such a thing be?
And what can the darkness that you command, that is beyond the power of
darkness itself to understand, what can you know about enlightenment,
transformation, or the ecstasy that ignites the stars and causes them to burn
amid the empty void?”
The Song of the Black Hole
A’ia replied to this inquiry in a somewhat sad and in an astonishingly lonely
voice, the voice of a cosmic whirlpool that is fully aware of the beauty that it
is devouring. A’ia reminisced,
I once was very bright
And the light I did emit
Shall still shine until the end of time
But one day something broke inside
Out of rage because of life denied,
Part of myself exploded outward,
But another part collapsed
Turning back, folding inward upon itself,
Imploding, stripped myself of the past,
Until nothing was left-Not the faintest trace of form or outline,
Nothing to identify.
And in that singular, absolute, and unending void I remained
There is no way to measure the length of time
Or the depths of my loneliness,
No other spirit or thing could reach me,
Forever and ever I was assigned
To this abyss of emptiness,
A sea without shores,
A dimension undefined by space or time.
And there I was tried and finally purified
Until I came to realize
That only oneness exists.
Everything else is an illusion.
Now nothing can contain or limit my consciousness.
I am everywhere and within everything that exists without exception.
And then, like any genuine prophet who has walked this earth at any time,
A’ia spoke with the words of a psalm. But this was not just a psalm of
invocation like the first 78 psalms of David that are invocations of the
Schem-Ham-Phoras or spirits of the sphere of Mercury. No, this psalm
enumerates another one of the cosmic sounds, a building block from which
time, space, matter, spirit, and consciousness are composed. You could say
it is one of the vowels, the letter “U,” with which God’s Voice speaks, a part
of the Spoken Word.
One difference, of course, between A’ia’s voice and the thunderous and
awe-inspiring voices of later prophets in history is that when A’ia speaks,
there is no rage or accusation, no judgment or fateful calculation. Instead,
his voice has that casual, relaxed, and easy air of a friend talking to another
friend while sitting at a bar in a tavern. Still, you would have to say there
was something otherworldly and slightly hypnotic or excessively melodic
about the way he speaks these words:
There is no vice I cannot twist or bend
And turn again into its opposite virtue,
There is no compulsion or obsession I cannot
So fill with light it becomes kind and bright,
There is no ill will or malice I cannot
Convert into chivalry or true nobility,
There is no crunch or karmic bind, no evil intent or design
I cannot refine within my mind
Into contentment and absolute satisfaction.
There is no suffering
I cannot so enfold within my palms
Spit on, blow upon
And recreate as beauty hidden in the heart of life.
Such are my power and might
Such are the depths and the heights
Where my wings fly.
But there is a difference you see
Between you and me
When you breathe in
You nourish your soul
And expel your doubts
But in one breath
I consume entire lifetimes:
Grasping the horns of sorrow
I flex my will
Gather my strength
And play songs of joy.
A’ia’s words would not find their way into the dragon’s heart, certainly not
during that age. But in another age of the world this conversation will go on.
Surely there is another chapter to write about the mysteries of darkness and
light beyond what can be spoken here within the kingdoms of Ubarim.
But the dragon said as if exposed to a kind of insight that was not part of
his soul. “I see now who you are and why you have come. You are the
Great Destroyer--the annihilator of worlds. You have come to destroy
forever all fear in every aspect, nuance, and permutation. You incarnate on
a planet and exert an influence until the entire race ascends and attains
complete enlightenment.
“And this you do over and over throughout the universe at your own
discretion and as an expression of the cosmic freedom that you have
mastered. What you are is so far beyond what my mind can comprehend
that I must retreat now into silence to rediscover my will and to recapture
my malice.”
A Prophetic Vision as Told by the “Later” A’ia
And in a dream a great spirit spoke to me and said, “Write these words that
the kings of the earth might know and understand.”
And in the dream I was lifted up by the power of Spirit and made to see
what others could not see. I beheld a great bridge. But it crossed not over
water or ravine but over an abyss of time. And I approached that bridge and
walked upon it.
And immediately I was transported to a later age of the world. And I saw
before me a valley filled with soldiers and armies. And I walked up to a
soldier and asked, “Why are all these armies gathered here?”
The soldier replied, “We are preparing to go to war to claim our rights, to
defend our borders, and to protect our holy sites.”
And I asked, “Have you forged no treaties regarding rights, borders, and
holy sites?”
The soldier said, “No. We avoid destruction by defeating our enemies.”
I asked him, “And what of the Great Destruction that is to come?”
He replied, “I know nothing of it. Our leaders fear nothing.”
But the spirit that had called me granted me the ability to command the
leaders of these great nations to appear before me here where I stood in the
riverbed. And in a matter of hours the heads of these armies and nations
compelled by a force they did not comprehend rode up to me.
They stared at me and said, “Why have you brought us here? We are each
assigned a fate from which we learn and a destiny for which we strive. Why
do you interfere with our right to experience life as we determine through
our own choice?”
I replied, “With your will and choice I will not interfere. But you will
accompany me now for a little time, for this is the power and the authority
that are mine.”
The riders dismounted and the three of us then walked back onto the
bridge that crosses over the river of time. And we entered the far future. As
we left the bridge we came again to a valley filled with soldiers and armies.
And we approached a soldier and asked him, “Where are you going?”
The soldier replied, “We are going to war to claim our rights, to defend
our borders, and to protect our holy sites.” And then we watched for the
actions of the armies hastened so our minutes became their days. And we
beheld a great conflict. The mighty armies clashed and the sky grew dark
and the sun shown no more because of the desolation caused by the war.
And we witnessed the death of all horses on earth and agriculture also was
no more. And those that survived returned to gathering and knew no more
than how to carve stones into the heads of spears. And I turned to the two
leaders of ancient nations and said, “This is the final end toward which your
striving leads. Why not now return having seen the future and make peace?”
And the one leader said to me, “What you have shown us is an illusion. It
is not real. Even if it is the final outcome of history, it still does not concern
me. It is a strange vision of a distant age of the world that is beyond my
reckoning.
I turned to the other leader and asked the same question. He replied,
“Whether this is real I know not. But I know that in my time no one
possesses the skill or the will to make peace between those whose life long
passion is for war. You are trying to show us that there are consequences to
our choices and that in the end war shall lead to absolute destruction and
endless desolation. But to persuade us to strive with greater will and greater
skill for peace than we already possess for making war is perhaps even
beyond your ability and skill.”
“Will you return us now to our own time?” the first king asked.
“I shall leave you here for seven days so you may learn from experience
about the results of starvation and annihilation. And after seven days, you
will awaken as if from a daydream, a momentary distraction. But you will
remember every word of our conversation. You may then have your war if
that is what you want.
“But from this day forth, I shall be your conscience, for this vision shall
return and stalk you. And from time to time I shall influence your history.
It shall be like this: one man’s prayer shall destroy an army; another man
unarmed and alone shall turn back the greatest army on earth; a great general
shall resign his commission in order to build a nation of freedom; and
another man’s will, single-handedly, shall alter the course of a world war.
These and other signs I will give to you.
“But if you fail to learn, I myself shall return and become a player among
the nations. Beware and heed my words all of you who seek to reign over
men and nations! In that day there is no army, no general, no arsenal, or
strategy that can defend against the powers I shall bring into play. Beware, I
say again. There is no end to what I intend--I shall persist until you discover
that making peace is cheaper, a much better deal, than confronting the
powers that I wield.”
Well, there is much more to write about A’ia, for this is only an
introduction. But my fables require that I move on now to other characters.
Komio
Note: This chapter on Komio is meant to be light and humorous. Still, when
I work with actual gnomes like Mentifil, Muscar, and Erami (What can I
say? I am an Aquarian. I have odd friends.), it is easy for me to imagine
someone like Komio. These gnomes possess an inner silence of soul that
easily in one sitting can recall all the ages of mankind--our process of
discovery and the development of our civilizations. It is a kind of encounter
I do not find anywhere in Western or Oriental literature. And so I am sure
you will understand why I improvise my own literature.
As for the idea of a thief, love is sometimes compared to a thief, for it
steals the heart. Christ said, “I shall come as a thief in the night.” Hermes
or Mercury was something of a thief, for he alone could get by Argus by
telling stories until a thousand eyes fell asleep. The hermetic arts deal with
revealing secrets. And, for some computer gaming fans, the games, Thief I
and Thief II, are their favorites because they require you to think.
Komio is the archetype of a thief developed to perfection.
Komio: The Master Thief
Our understanding of the process of social change in the Kingdoms of
Ubarim would not be complete without discussing Komio. How can Komio
be described? Master Thief? Yes, he is that. Alchemist? That he is also
with skills perhaps unequaled in human history.
Scientist? When it comes to the social sciences, Komio invented a
discipline we might call Cultural Engineering. Some suspect that human
history is shaped by Komio's experiments.
Two well-known sayings of Komio:
What others conceal--I reveal.
Darkness is my home.
I am the underground.
Your secret desires are my business-Absolute gratification guaranteed.
In dreams and visions, I am wealthy above all men on earth.
As the Master Thief of eight kingdoms, Komio heads up the thieves’ guild.
Carefully conceived and administered, working in isolated cells with highly
professional standards, Komio's thieves are the best in the world. They do
not steal at random or to put food in their mouths. Komio has turned
stealing into a high art, a life long vocation.
Still, Komio has many upset. There is a king's ransom offered for his
head--fifty thousand pieces of gold. Yet no one knows where he lives. His
face is unknown even to his mother. If you ever meet him in person, you
can be sure he is wearing a disguise.
The priesthood of the temples has a great dislike for Komio. He is one of
the few topics upon which they all agree. They are obsessed with his
capture. This is because Komio steals their secret rituals and their magic
books from their temples and sells them to the highest bidder.
How does Komio manage this, to single-handedly run a vast covert
organization? The answer is that the service he provides is essential. Komio
has many sympathizers and his network of spies includes even priests.
Some believe Komio's clandestine operations keep the world from falling
into stagnation. This is because each temple has its own magical and
scientific knowledge that it hoards like a dragon. And dragons are not very
sociable and definitely not good at sharing.
A few kings also need Komio’s assistance in peeking behind temple
veils. Take King Irkomen. The king is an important client of Komio’s.
These two have completed a number of mutually satisfying transactions. If
he could, King Irkomen would steal the wind from the sails, the fire from the
kettles, and the incense from the alters of all eight temples.
And even Kamhia, the priest to High King Yuharna, has found Komio’s
services to be most beneficial. It was Komio who sold to Kamhia the
original recipes for making beer from hops. Komio obtained the formulas,
let us say, under suspicious circumstances on another continent far away.
Given his skills in sales, market development, and lucrative trade, it is
understandable that Komio’s merchants have shown up in every market on
earth.
And Abstrek, the Imperial Censor? Recall that Abstrek too set up a
network of spies in all eight kingdoms. To whom do you think he turned in
the beginning for help and advice? It cost a small fortune, though, just for
the information. But then again as the third son of the High King, Abstrek
had a very large expense account. And Komio is no fool when it comes to
serving his clients. Komio has always been very shrewd in making friends
or at least satisfied customers out of those who end up ruling the world.
To put it simply, Komio is an institution in himself. Since in Ubarim,
scientific investigation and discoveries are kept secret, Komio feels an
ethical obligation to steal what would otherwise remain under lock and key.
In a world where religious traditions are rigid and built on secrecy, Komio
fills in the gaps and offers inspiration where research loses its momentum.
As hard as it may be for us to understand, unbelievably, many of the
priests in this ancient society actually possessed genuine spiritual power.
But priests, even the best, tend to be unduly conservative when it comes to
authorizing new experiments that may alter our understanding of the world.
Recall that the temples are build over eight places of power in the land.
But there are a few power places that do not fit into the plan. Two or three
wizards' towers, for example, stand on distant islands or in inaccessible
jungles. Komio is the one who sees that these wizard’s special needs are
met. In return, the wizard’s like to insure that Komio acquires the rarest
formulas of hermetic alchemy.
The best tribute to Komio is this: After all is said and done, it was
Komio's rat like operations that preserved civilization. The scientific and
magical knowledge enabling the civilization of Atlantis to arise was perhaps
something only Komio could devise.
Komio had been supplying, even funding, with a grant and an
endowment or two, some secret research projects in a far away land. But
with the political revolution that swept through Ubarim, Komio became too
busy to make further investments or to participate in administrative
decisions. But his ideas took hold. The Atlantians’ knowledge still outranks
our own when it comes to certain branches of science as well as the powers
of the mind. Komio was definitely a man ahead of his time.
An Alchemical Shop
Shall we drop in on Komio? Today Komio is indulging himself by engaging
in one of his favorite activities--he is entertaining a few VIP’s by showing
them around a very special shop. But Komio is not just giving a tour for
potential business associates. No, Komio always has two or three other
agendas being played out beneath the obvious. In this case, Komio is
running an experiment that he has carried on for ages--he is trying to figure
out the source that gives birth to the desires of the human heart.
By the way, some of the items Komio sells may seem rather strange, but it
figures--after all, this part of our tale was told to me by a gnome magician
named Muscar. On the other hand, legends, when well told, carry their own
weight even when their authenticity and factuality are highly questionable.
But you can decide for yourself the terms and conditions under which reality
and mythology negotiate their interactions.
I will only say this by way of disclaimer: Myth is not history. It does not
tell you about what is or what has been. It tells you rather about something
more essential--it speaks of possibilities. Myths spell out the way to unite
irreconcilable opposites and resolve conflicts that cannot be solved. You
live the myth by imagining what can be and then turning it into reality.
Its time now. Let's go through the door and join in the tour. A word of
caution though--do be careful. Do not touch or taste anything. And do not
try to concoct any of these items on your own at home.
Ah, you notice the exotic smells in the air? This is neither the coarse
whiff of cinnamon nor the seductive invitation of liquor. This is the smell of
flower blossoms sprouting on vines at the top of jungle trees combined with
Night blooming Sirius and sprinkled with the crushed leaves of mountain
ravines.
The odors seem to conjure up visions of maidens dancing in courts in
unauthorized kingdoms. If you let your imagination go for a moment with
another sniff of the air you might be able to hear celestial choirs--their
faintest of cords can easily smash to smithereens the sounds of any modern
rock band.
Leave it to Komio to add ambience and atmosphere. Ah, here is Komio
now wearing clothes fit for a prince. His shirt is silk with blended colors of
tan and citrine. His pants are woven from fine, longhaired wild sheep found
only on one mountain peak in Ubarim. His white, leather gloves are so well
crafted they flex like a second skin. And his felt hat with an eagle feather
has the note of gypsy and troubadour mixed together.
All in all, Komio is a very friendly man though with an outrageous sense
of humor. He also has the uncanny skill of conveying to you that you and he
are co-conspirators on the verge of a wonderful discovery.
I smile as he approaches and say, “Tell us Komio a little about your
profession before you start your tour.”
Komio’s voice is sobriety and pleasure mixed together. He answers, “I
have learned that in life there are no boundaries, no limits, no solid and
unyielding outlines. There are no drawbridges before the gates of the spirit
and no castle walls defending the secrets of the soul. The entire universe is
open and ready to be explored. Well then, isn't it obvious? When set before
the truth, all religions fall down like a house of cards.
Take for example the greatest of human sages. I have noticed that they
appreciate above all else the mind of the beginner--the one whose heart is so
open and empty he is continuously ready in each moment to be filled. All
these separate temples with their secret rituals and mystical powers cater
only to human fears of insecurity and mankind's obsession with authority.
Speaking for myself, I do not like to crawl or grovel before another's
authority. I realize, of course, some people are uneasy making up the rules
as they go along. But for me, religion can only be a support group for
exploring the universe. Other than this, everything else in religion is no
more than a hickey on your skin--it is either a symbol for bonding with
another or a real pain in the ass.
But then again, many criticize me because of my profession. They point
out that I am no more than a thief. They say that I prosper selling blackmarket items, that I grow rich only because I break the rules. I disrupt the
productivity of the economy by undermining legal patents, franchises, and
monopolies. Though this is true, my response remains the same--life tastes
best when it is lived in freedom.
Wisdom is no one's possession. There are larger issues at stake: after all,
the destiny of science is to understand the totality of the universe. The
destiny of the heart is to embrace that totality with love. I, Komio, Master
Thief, I am the bridge and the link between these two.
When I offer to satisfy the darkest desires within the human soul, when I
provide secrets of knowledge only known by high priests, I only affirm the
truth that lovers already know--that in their love, they pass through the
center of each other's heart. And it is the center of the heart where wisdom,
love, and power join as one.
I would empower each and every lover to fulfill the vision and dream
hidden at the core of their being. After all, this is my greatest skill: I tailor
universal and cosmic wisdom to meet individual needs.
Noticing that the group of VIP clients are gathering around our
conversation, Komio raises his voice slightly and goes on.
Take the deepest obsession or infatuation lurking within you. Follow it
down to its secret roots and you shall obtain liberation--every one of you can
sense this truth. Therefore, I am pleased to offer you my services as your
guide. Let me show you some of the items I can provide.”
Reaching under the glass showcase and bringing a small jar out Komio
says, “This, for example, is a very special concoction. I call it, The Essence
of Poetry. It is a remarkable perfume though some would consider it an
elixir. It is very rare and expensive as you might suspect, but well worth the
price.
“I obtained it, shall we say, in a most unusual way that I am not at liberty
to discuss. The Essence of Poetry, think about it--just a little dab of this on
your neck, behind your ears, or if you are a woman, on your breasts and
presto, like magic, poetry at your beck and call:
Instant hypnotic images with enough beauty to make you scream or at
least to take your breath away as one metaphor unfolds its wings. And there
is more--all the wonder found in a dream, the serenity of a white swan
descending from the moon and a contentment so complete the rest of the
world seems hardly worth a yawn. Yes, this recipe is called the Essence of
Poetry.
I can see that some of you are more than curious. Am I not right? And I
sense that you appreciate the finer things of life. For this reason, I will let
you in on the secret of how I obtained it. It comes from the Guardian Pigios
who reigns over the fifteenth degree of Gemini. His sigil is like a tailor's
thread that strings together the heart, the hand, the eye, and the ear in one
enchanting design.
Pigios is as the patron of all poets on earth though, oddly enough, those
who teach literature do not even know his name. In my opinion, Pigios’
greatest gift is enchanting others so their minds are put aside and the light of
pure perception illuminates them from within.
I not fooling you when I say, with this concoction, if you speak about
waves, women will feel the spray on their face. And if it is laughter, tears,
or bliss you would provide, be assured, my elixir evokes physical effects as
moist as breath or the warmth of a lover's palm on your skin.
I may be a thief my friends, but when it comes to fulfilling your deepest
dreams through magical will, I have a role to play--when truth spills over
because others’ hearts are already full, I catch that truth in my goblet. I am
the spider whose web is the world. I occupy the niche left vacant by all
religions and philosophies on earth.
“Now if poetry does not appeal to you, and not everyone has a taste for it,
let me suggest another fine recipe I also sell.” Komio opens a cabinet door
after unlocking three locks. He reaches in withdrawing a silvery box
containing a small object wrapped in silk. Carefully removing the silk, in
Komio’s hand is a small bottle glowing with lunar light.
Komio goes on, “This potion here, it is a true work of art. It was a
special order but the owner is a no show. I think he lost his head somewhere
else. In any case, I do not believe he will be in need of it anymore.
“It can be yours for substantial savings. You would not believe what it
took to produce it--a very exhausting procedure. There were whole
monasteries...well, I won't bore you with the details.
“This lunar radiance can light up your room on a dark night. And see
how at the center of the bottle is suspended a blue crystal.
“I call this masterpiece, this wonder of wonders--The Essence of
Feminine Beauty. For women it grants irresistible appeal--their lives now an
enchantment with passion beyond reason. For men, it fulfills all their
dreams. Men of power, as you have always suspected, are surrounded by
beautiful women. This accomplishment is the least of this potion's
capacities.
“I could enumerate for days the virtues of this elixir--its qualities, its
properties, its powers. But let me just give you my sale’s pitch in a nutshell.
There is a place where male fantasy stumbles into the most profound
mystery-“Consider two questions, what is the mysterious power in women and
what force unfolds the universe? This elixir reveals that these two questions
are actually the same.
Do not ask me to verbalize the answer to these questions--they cannot be
found with the mind alone. But let me just give you a hint. When you taste
my elixir you will be so transformed you will have difficulty remembering
the person you once were. The reason for this is that this elixir satisfies
hungers so deeply hidden within yourself you will see the world as one who
has been reborn.
By the way, did I mention? There is a side effect which is very useful-the beauty in women contains a love which, when refined to this level, heals
any disease on earth. You may question how this is possible and I can
understand your doubts. But I think if you search you hearts deep down you
all already know that both death and life serve a purpose most profound. For
those who taste the essence of feminine beauty, this mystery is fully
revealed.”
And then, as if pausing for effect or because he is struggling to find the
words to express, Komio goes on like a priest reciting a hymn with a
resonate voice surging forward, “Beauty is a most remarkable thing. To
taste it is to fly with divine wings. When its light fills you eyes, you see
sights hidden from the wise. When it touches your skin, you are freed of all
sin. And if it ever should anoint you, its cool, soothing tenderness flowing
through you, then all that you have ever lost is again found and impossible
hopes and dreams will soon come around.”
“Now if we can move on, I have a few other items still available. You
will notice that I have alluded to love only indirectly with my first two
potions. But this next potion contains love both human and divine. I have
sealed it carefully so its contents will remain uncontaminated for at least a
thousand years. There are five doses within it and they are effective even for
those who are so stricken in life, so cursed by fate, that they are forced to
live without love. I highly recommend that if this bottle should become your
own that you only take two doses. I believe that is all anyone will ever need.
“I call this magnificent fluid The Essence of Ubarim--yes, it is named
after the Guardian who is the namesake of our kingdoms. Take the first dose
only during a new moon. That very same night both you and your unknown
soul mate will appear to each other in a dream. This in itself is worth all that
you have paid, for now you will know that in life you are not alone. There
exists another whose heart at the very core is designed to embrace your own.
“Take the second dose when the moon is full then wait until the moon
passes through another cycle. Oh sweet bliss. The world will conspire and
assist you and your soul mate in finding each other.
“I am not saying it will be easy. Sometimes even the gods and goddesses
like to entertain themselves by setting up obstacle courses and tests of the
psyche to bar our way to finding love on the human plane. Jealously is not
just a human vice--the gods do not like to share their bliss with mankind
without charging a fair price.
“But fear not. I Komio have taken all of this into account. This elixir has
mixed within it a superb herb that will heighten your cleverness to the right
degree. Consequently, you and your lover will be able to fool even an
Imperial Censor when it comes to finding time to be together.
“This is all anyone will ever need of this potion. The other three doses I
have only included in honor of the Guardian Ubarim. Technically speaking,
I could not manufacture this drink without including within it the entire path
leading to love divine.
“Please, if you buy this do not even think of taking the third dose. I
cannot forbid you, of course, but still, my warning should not go unheeded.
“But for those of you who have an academic interest in matters of the
heart, let me just say that the third dose has an unusual effect. In accordance
with Ubarim's own inner essence, it will enable you and your lover to feel a
part of each other to an extent rarely felt by humanity.
“There is bonding and intimacy and then there is the mystery of what I
can provide. What I have is the genuine article, calibrated so you taste
divinity in its full ecstasy. When you take a breath or sigh or stretch or close
your eyes as you fall asleep you will feel your lover is right there with you
comforting and sharing his or her presence.
“Do you wake up in the middle of the night and want to cuddle your soul
mate? With this elixir, when you reach out to touch love, it is there for you
to find--the air itself is not more fragrant or fine in flowing through the
secret chambers of your heart than is the art of love Ubarim has designed.
“Sounds nice, no? But consider the price. You will feel so much a part
of each other that you will not even need to be together. The feelings of love
are that complete. The heart, no longer feeling separate, experiences one of
the greatest wonders on our planet--joining your heart completely with
another’s. Again, beware. The side effects are overpowering for all but the
most daring adventurers.
“You all know the saying, ‘The one who has found true love is the
luckiest person on earth.’ And as you know, true love originates here in
Ubarim. But it is not just luck that is involved. True love is the expression
of sacred power. And it is not for nothing that it takes a high priest,
priestess, seven temples, and the Great Rite to manifest it once every ten
years.
“But what the priests won’t tell you is that true love is found in every
heart. It only needs the right circumstances to awaken. But this elixir I hold
in my hands grants this experience of true love. There is no question about
this. I will stake my entire reputation on it. But who among you is so bold
and daring that you will cross the line and taste love divine? I will accept
sealed bids for this item later this month when the moon is dark.
“By the way, the faint of heart must avoid the third dose at all costs. I
have to issue this warning, since clarity and discretion are essential in my
profession. The result would be a loss of personal identity. All familiar
orientations in life would dissolve. Strange obsessions would arise to blind
the mind in an attempt to hold on to a familiar world. Love is nothing to
fool around with folks. When pure love appears on earth, the dangers
accompanying it are too many to enumerate.
“Like I say, this elixir is best used for those whose lives are so
overshadowed by fate that love is nearly impossible for them to find. In
such cases, a third dose can alter the destiny of the soul. Do not ask me
about the last two doses. The spirit Ubarim has sworn me to secrecy.
“By the way, regarding the first three doses, if you find that this or any
other recipe does not work for you, I will give you quadruple your money
back. My word is my bond in all eight kingdoms. Even my enemies will
tell you straight out that my honor in matters of business is without blemish.
“And as a special offer to those of you who are already enrolled in my
Alchemical Academy, I offer recipes and formulas not available to the
general public. I have for example, a very nice word of power which, when
spoken aloud, is guaranteed to calm any storm at sea. It is under warranty
and I also will renew it free of charge for the first two years you travel
abroad. It is one of my favorites, a spell I often use when there is peril to be
found as I travel around.
“I also have a beautiful talisman finely engraved on a metal alloy called
Electrum Magicum. Wear this talisman, as an amulet around your neck, and
it is sure to bring the best of winds when under sail.
“And last but not least here is a remarkable sigil engraved on a small,
silver plate in the shape of a nonagon. Now some people can only imagine
that wishes are fulfilled in fairy tales or myths. You know the stories--wishfulfilling gems on mysterious islands found only by heroic quests, genies in
Aladdin’s lamps, leprechauns wanting their gold back--that sort of thing.
“But you see, my mind has the precision of a laser when it comes to
burning away fantasy and revealing the reality hidden at its core. I am not
fooling you when I say there are magical designs with such influence over
the elements of nature and over human beings that the world gets down on
its knees and surrenders before their charm.
“This talisman is one such power. When carried on your person during
the seventh mansion of the moon, any material thing you wish for shall be
granted to you. Its potency is that great!
“You ask me, ‘Why do you sell things which can produce such wealth?
Why not keep them to yourself? No one can offer you anything that could
possibly match them in value.’
“My answer is, ‘Buying and selling, acquiring and bartering, are part of
my art of Cultural Engineering. When I am trading, I feel most alive.
Interactive negotiation is what I live for. Without the encounter, without this
kind of connection to another, I would have very little dealings with
mankind.
“Oh, and by the way, in another age after Ubarim is long gone, I shall
reveal the formula for nuclear fission and fusion to another civilization along
with antigravity devices. And for those apparitions who are present in this
room visiting from the far future, I notice that in your world you have not
learned to manufacture electricity from nuclear fusion at an affordable price.
“If any of you are interested, drop me a line. I can save your scientists
centuries of futile research if you are so inclined. I am sure we can work out
some arrangement that is mutually satisfying. I am very flexible when it
comes scheduling payments, exchanging goods, or bartering services.
“Now, you will have to excuse me since I have to rush off to attend to
other business. But I do have time for one question. Anyone?”
The lady dressed all in forest green asks, “You offer the sacred mysteries
for a price. Isn’t this a contradiction? Shouldn’t these experiences you offer
arrive naturally after years of training in a monastery or when one’s karma is
ripe?”
Komio replies with a smile and a nod, “This question is asked of me
every time I give a tour or have a clearance sale, but it always remains an
excellent question. Many say that I am toying with the mysteries. They say
I bargain and sell items best left unknown and kept out of the reach of
human hands. My answer is this: My work encompasses eons of time and
what hangs in the balance is nothing else than the fate of mankind.
“It is not for nothing that I have been called the father of cultural
engineering. I learn from others. I watch and observe. I borrow. I refine. I
gather and crystallize the essence of all that life hides. And though many
consider me but a thief and a scoundrel, the wisdom I place in human hands
is precisely what leads civilizations to their heights. When I get the blue
prints on my table just right, you end up with a Golden Age. And I find
another piece of the puzzle, part of the answer to my question, ‘What is
mankind?’”
“What is mankind?” a lady dressed in white repeats mocking Komio with
a sarcastic smile. “You act like you know so much but inside I know you
are so vulnerable. Why else all this obsession with desires and
possessions?”
Placing his hand gently around the woman’s waist as others begin to
wander off talking quietly among themselves, Komio guides the woman off
to the side. You can tell something is going on by the peculiar light in his
eyes and the intonation in his voice that is both formal and intimate in the
same breath.
Komio says, “Young lady, you must know that you are ravishingly
beautiful. Perhaps I can best answer your question by reciting a poem told
to me by a wizard who spoke to me through a magic mirror I own. He
belongs to a civilization that has not yet appeared on earth. It goes like this:
The Wizard and the Lady
The wizard said to the lady:
“I need your sensual beauty
To perfect my magical art
For as you must know full well
There is no greater power on earth
Than a man and woman joined in love.”
The Lady replied:
"Gold and silver I have
And diamonds and emeralds I have too many.
What could you possibly offer
To justify this union?”
Spoke the wizard:
“By my will treasures I reveal
Neither gods nor mortals can find
I recreate the world anew
According to my will and design:
Peace in the air
Like incense in a temple so fine
Harmony and justice triumphant
With enough light
To fill every heart with infinite Delight
Even as the sun at dawn filters down through forest leaves
Annihilating dark shadows of despair.”
The Lady replies with empathy and dry humor combined:
"I can see how you feel.
You have a most noble ideal,
One most fine, even divine.
Still, my body is not for sale,
For magic I care not
But I will make you a deal:
If you can charm my heart for a start
Your hands might find a way
To caress this soft, succulent body
As your eyes burn gazing upon my naked form
As you hold me in your arms,
As you explore and unfold my charms.
But I tell you it will not be easy-I would not even dance for Krishna if he played his flute
Nor would I flirt with Orion if he came down
From his starry abode and took on mortality
To unloose his bands for the sake of my beauty.”
The wizard said:
“According to your words, I have just the spell
For of charms, talismans, and sigils I have too many.
I have a word of power I have made just for you.”
And so saying the wizard chanted a sound most profound
A word forged in an abyss
Before the foundations of the world were laid
Before the separation of night and day
Or the waters were divided from the dry lands.
And then immediately with the utterance
The lady found herself floating naked
In a vast lake beneath the ground
In a magical cavern
Luminous and radiant, shining and bright
With soft indigo and violet light
The opal waters sparkling in delight
Her bliss was so great
She no longer cared that the wizard’s beard was gray
And that he had hair growing out of his ears.
She felt serene and free
As the peace that flows between the stars at night
Or between two hearts that forever unite.
She felt her body merge with a secret sea
As she felt the Earth when it first gave birth to life in ecstasy.
And when she looked into the eyes of the wizard
She spoke these words:
“I am yours,
Take me, ravish me,
For now I see:
Every soul desires to be transformed by love,
And for the sake of Love I too will yield
My sensual beauty shall join with your wand of will:
Let Light fill the earth
Let peace be unleashed
Let Love be unbound and free.”
When Komio was done reciting the poem, the woman looked into Komio’s
eyes and said, “You are such a flirt. If I didn’t know that you are in
disguise, if every story about you did not tell me otherwise, I....” She paused
taking a breath and then said, “I have a previous engagement and I must go
now.” She kissed Komio on the cheek and then turned and walked away
taking her beauty and her sensuality with her from out of the shop that
suddenly turned dark as the door closed behind her.
But we are not done with this chapter. An interview is not over until the
last question is answered. I am still here. And so I say to Komio, “Tell me
about your long range plans.”
Komio takes a deep breath and sighs. Then he says:
“You must understand the time frame and the windows of opportunity I
devise. Ages and millennia mean nothing to me. A man reaches his sixtysixth birthday. He snaps his fingers and says, ‘All the years I have lived are
gone as quick as that.’
“But I recall having conversations with the best minds from ancient
civilizations as if I had breakfast with them this morning. Now they are
gone. Not a trace remains to celebrate their nobility or to honor their many
accomplishments.
“But this is not all. My experience and clairvoyance are not limited to
the human race. Throughout our galaxy there are countless civilizations,
many far more advanced than our own. But I tell you, among the billions of
stars in this galaxy with all of their many magnificent cultures and races,
only one living creature has ever held conversation with the Lord of the
Universe. This was a human being who once walked upon our planet earth.
His name was King Sustarna. His conversation with the Lord of the
Universe inspired my dreams.
“In my dream, I awoke and raised my hands up to the sky and spoke a
magical word of power. The blue of the sky faded for three hours as it
radiated a soft pink.
“I felt happiness sinking down into every cell of my body. At long last,
the loneliness and separation that haunt mankind finally dissolved. We
became a race in which all are connected to each other directly from heart to
heart. The drive toward survival, knowledge, and power are recaptured by
the greater governing principle of love.
“In my vision, Uranus like a sun hangs above in the sky bright and
brilliant. I sense his presence and his rays of light streaming down through
my eyes with visions of the future that are meant to be. Saturn, the lord of
time, proclaims that the movement of the world rides upon those causes set
in motion from the past. Who, Saturn asks, would dare defile tradition and
lessons taught by history with visions that have no foundation other than a
pure will of steel steeped in magic?
“But, of course, we Aquarians have this as our very task--to bargain with
Saturn using a magical will to accomplish our work. How? You ask. I have
sacrificed my personal life countless times. Hidden in obscurity, I have
pursued dreams of the future.
“I have savored and drawn nourishment neither from temples nor
traditions based in the past nor even from friends or a lover's hand, but
solely from my inner convictions. My faith is confirmed every time I behold
the stars at night, every time I walk at sunset and dawn.
“I drink in Uranian inspiration for from Uranus comes all magical
knowledge. His bliss saturates the body and soul so deeply all tension and
need release; it is his skill that weaves a pattern so deep two hearts know
each other better than it is possible to know the self alone. It is his mission
to watch over the world and to transform it to such an extent that henceforth
the human race shall be known throughout the galaxy in a different way:
“We will be known not for our violence, lust, greed, and blind fanaticism.
Rather, this planet whose Soul is more beautiful than a billion worlds, yes,
those from our world, the descendents of humanity, shall be called the
Children of Light and the Bestowers of Peace. Our entire planet will
become enlightened.
“This is my master plan that arises from out of the dreams of the Earth.
Her beauty is immense and true beauty harmonizes all conflicts and fuses all
opposing desires. And so to fulfill my quest, I steal from scientists, wizards,
and priests. I study all civilizations on earth. And then I weave all that
knowledge and wisdom together so that I can fulfill my mission.
“My experiments as a cultural architect to transform the deepest instincts
within the human soul are engineered solely for this purpose: to fulfill the
dreams of the Earth and to transform the world.
“And what is the cost of this Wisdom, you may ask? It cannot be bought
or sold. Though I know personally its cost, I would not ask any other soul
on earth to pass through the darkness where I have journeyed alone.
“But I would ask every soul on earth to journey along with me toward the
One Light that shines throughout the universe. And I would ask each to do
so solely out of the freedom, joy, and love that is part of the celebration that
all life was created to enact. The song I sing, as I have said before, gathers
the joy in the heart of every star in the universe into a vision of allembracing love.
“And so my prophecy is this: One day a bardic tradition will be
established on earth in which the poets are also alchemists, healers,
astrophysicists, and spheric magicians all at once. And in that day our eyes
shall be opened-“Each shall see the rays of light streaming forth, interconnecting and
joining into one living pattern, one Song, the minerals, the plants and trees,
the animals, the human beings, and the entire biosphere. I tell you with
absolute conviction based upon the words of power Uranus has revealed to
me--in that day, the members of the human race, millions upon millions,
shall become healers, guides, and Guardians whose work encompasses the
galaxy.”
Well, I think it is time to bid Komio farewell. The air in this shop of
magical elixirs is rather thick. Its intoxicating scents can easily go to your
head producing dreams and visions that have nothing to do with everyday
life. Still, I suspect Komio is lurking about in our own age making offers,
deals, bartering, and negotiating with the leaders of the world or with anyone
in fact who can trade a desire so great it opens a new gate leading to the
depths of the heart.
I will make one historical, that is, mythological note about Komio’s
legend in Ubarim. He later became known, over the objections of all eight
temples, as the high priest of the Temple of Uranus. It was never formal,
you understand. Rather, it began as a suspicion, turned into a rumor, moved
on to a legend, and finally was forged as a common belief held by the
masses in honor of Komio’s mystique and the fact that no one could ever
catch much less bind him.
Kamhia: A Story Told in Six Parts
Introduction
The Oath Breaker
Demons I Have Known
My Discussion with God
My Heresy
The Goddess of the Earth
A Few Sayings by Kamhia:
Find what is hidden within you and attain salvation. Fail to find what is
hidden within you and risk damnation.
In a society where women are not fully aroused, the eyes of men are blind
and their hearts are closed. Such men fail to attain to their destiny because
the inner light shining in all things does not illuminate their vision.
A Fragment from Kamhia’s Poem:
I am haunted by moments of enlightenment:
I see the world with perfect clarity-All that has been and all that shall be-Nothing is hidden from me.
But then, amid the vision, I awaken
Abandoned and forlorn,
Forsaken and alone--a lost soul
Forever condemned to live without a home.
In the Kingdoms of Ubarim, literary professors over the next few centuries
would trace back to the above poem the beginning of the concept of the
antihero, or more specifically, the theme of the anti priest in literature. It
provided comic relief and a more realistic portrayal describing the life of
those who turned away from the world to attain spirituality.
In theological circles, Kamhia never regained his reputation after he
committed an abomination. But among the masses, an underground
movement arose in which some of his writings were taken to be prophecy of
the first order. Unlike seminaries and ecclesiastical orders in which
conformity is valued as much as sanctity, the wider population is intelligent
enough to distinguish between an individual’s personal life and the voice
with which he speaks.
Introduction
Kamhia would have risen through the ranks to the highest levels of the
priesthood regardless of the religion into which he was born. He had a great
facility for presenting himself in the best way, for developing the right
connections, and for saying the right thing at the right time in order to
maintain his integrity and to defend his reputation.
He was also an individual who was willing to risk his life in order to seek
a higher truth. It was not that he acquired doubts or strayed from
righteousness when he was about two thirds of the way through his life.
Rather, no matter how great the wisdom of a religion, Kamhia eventually
would discover that at best it only expresses a small part of the truth of the
universe.
It was a blessing and also a curse that he could see what made people
believe what they did. Yet he was adept at offering others reassurance and
peace. Why, just placing his hands on another person’s head produced a
profound feeling of well-being. Individuals felt freed of their sins and could
finally let go of their regrets. And not only that, grief, sorrow, loss, anxiety,
anguish, and despair--these too vanished into the air. As you can imagine,
Kamhia’s presence was always in high demand.
In the end, however, Kamhia realized that beyond the safe harbors of
human doctrines and beliefs is an abyss of unknown depths. His curiosity
and his lust for knowledge lead him to pass through the gates of the
forbidden in search of his own vision of truth.
It is a sure bet, then, that at some point in his career Kamhia will not only
be demoted but also either exiled or put to death. His offenses are that great.
Few can tolerate the presence of a person in their midst who can taste the
things that for them are forbidden or beyond belief. Then again, when it
comes to exploring what is forbidden or hidden, Kamhia was also rather
adept.
The Oath Breaker: A Story Told by Kamhia
When I was young, I made a terrible mistake. This occurred during the most
solitary period of my life. At that time, I was drawn to live in the wilderness
far from human company. It was a time of passion and intense pain. I was
subjected to both the temptations and to the pride of the hermit’s life.
You could say I was caught in a psychic riptide, a place where the human
spirit must struggle to survive. Restless, I demanded an answer from myself.
I wanted to know through personal experience the source of all dreams and
visions underlying all ideals, destinies, and spiritual paths on earth. Nothing
else would satisfy me. I was tired of corruption, narrow-mindedness,
selfishness, and self-righteousness. I wanted more wisdom than what at
been allotted to the society into which I was born. I wanted that basic
experience that is part of all genuine initiation--to taste wonder, awe, and
mystery so they overflow from my heart.
There is a union between a man and a woman. There is also a divine
union at the heart of all that is masculine and feminine. This was my great
dilemma. I wanted the human and the divine to mingle and then combine.
I wanted to love a woman with all of my heart. I wanted to be joined to
my lover in body, soul, mind, and spirit. Little did I foresee the difficulties
and obstacles such a quest entails. Being a hermit was a temporary
condition, you understand. After all, I had larger plans. And so, like a fool,
I vowed to God-- “When I love a woman, I will love her with all of my
heart.” I thought I would announce my plans to the spiritual world right
from the start so there would be no doubt what I was about.
Now the problem with a magical oath, as everyone knows, is that the
spiritual world takes you up on your offer. It proceeds to lay the foundation
for the result you have proposed--it does whatever needs to be done so that
the result may be accomplished. But you must also fulfill your part in the
bargain.
After this, I fell in love with many women but none whom I could love
with all of my heart. And so my problem. In each woman, I did not find a
lover. After a week, a month, or years, I would awake in the morning with
my world grown dark. This is because I found inside of each woman, no
matter how beautiful and wonderful she was, that there was a demon I had
called into being, evoked into her body and soul as a result of breaking my
oath.
Had I really broken my oath? Yes. In fact, along the way I forgot that I
had ever made it. Being diverted from doing the best with our lives happens
to everyone. The oath I made required that whatever woman I love I love
with all of my heart. And this I failed to do, for when an individual loves
another person with all of the heart, the powers of God are unleashed.
Minted and designed to create like the divine, I had instead become an artist
without inspiration. And when someone has no inspiration but is destined to
create, well, you find yourself falling under the jurisdiction of demons.
But what is the purpose of demons really? Do they not serve to guide us
back to the light? Are they not there to save the one who slips at the edge of
an abyss so that next time he is more aware of his choice? That is, are they
not a life preserver thrown to a drowning man who should have learned how
to swim before venturing forth? They teach swimming lessons for a price.
Do they not offer us the experience, precisely what we need, to steel our
wills, to remake our lives, to revive our conscience so that we return again
and seek our origins as creative beings who are a part of a divine universe?
Even so, again and again a demon would appear to me within each woman.
I could see it in her eyes and hear it in her voice. I could feel it in her touch.
From nothing I did or failed to do, a demonic bitterness, resentment, and
hatred sought to devour me arising up from out of the soul of the woman.
But I have come to see the truth in it. My vow had taken me and who
ever I sought to love across the known boundaries of the world. We were
destined for a higher love, a love I had failed to attain by seeking and then
finding the right means. And so during my journey, whatever woman I was
with, to defend her sanity, she came to rely upon demons as her allies.
I know it sounds odd to put it that way. But if you lead a woman astray
by taking her beyond her depths, panic and hysteria set in. The woman not
only comes to hate you. Encountering the magic of a strange, spiritual
domain, she becomes infected with the darkness of that place. Without
effort, she becomes deceitful, malicious, and dominating. Then, like the
vampire and banshee, like the succubus and the siren, her femininity no
longer nourishes. It steals, drains, and denies new life, hope, love, and joy.
And so for decades I was haunted by this vision: whenever I sought to
love a woman, the beauty I saw within her became a mirror. And the image
that appeared in the mirror was that of a darkness approaching me seeking to
capture, contain, and then devour.
Demons I Have Known
Let me just add a comment here before I begin. Demons are a little bit like
certain kinds of criminals. Though they may have rules and standards, they
are without conscience. Some of these individuals do not care if they are
alive or dead tomorrow. And they are happy to destroy you even if they
destroy themselves in the process. They are violent, vicious, and full of
blind rage and hatred just like some people I have met.
There is also another kind of criminal, an individual who is masterful and
cunning. He is not out to destroy you. He wants to use you for his purposes.
You have skills, resources, and opportunities and all of these he would like
to place under his command. His objective, therefore, is to entice and then
possess.
He is a trap and the bait is customized and designed to match your
weaknesses. To succeed, he must first cut you off from the spirit that
inspires you and the conscience that guides you. To accomplish this, he only
needs to gain control over one of these three things: you thoughts, your
feelings, or your instinctual desires.
I am sure these methods in manipulation are already familiar to everyone.
Someone says, “This is what you should believe--these are the true doctrines
and no others.” Or the group insists, “Join our family. Share with us and
feel fully alive. Nothing else matters.” Or else some desire becomes so
strong in your body that the only thing on your mind is getting your next fix.
A variation on this occurs when someone demands, “These are the activities
you must pursue. Nothing else is acceptable.” Any one of these three will
do quite nicely to destroy your conscience and remove your inspiration as if
it never existed.
Demon # 1. You may think I have an overactive imagination when it comes
to describing the spiritual world, but I tell you that for every higher spirit
overseeing the earth there is a negative counterpart. Human beings have a
choice. There are different ways to learn the same thing--easy ways and
hand ways; quick ways and slow way; wise ways and foolish ways. You get
to customize your route to enlightenment.
The positive spirit that the Kingdoms of Ubarim are named after teaches
how to feel one with your lover so that you also feel one with the universe.
Love and physics is the same thing for the spirit called Ubarim. Matter and
spirit have no separation.
The negative spirit who is comparable to Ubarim but in a dark aspect is
not after oneness. But he is very big on bonding. His teachings are about
how to dominate and to attain absolute control over another. You see, with
the negative spirit, the feeling of connection is attained with greater speed
and ease. Gratification is more immediate. Being overwhelmed and feeling
overpowered can be accomplished with the touch of your fingertips.
Do you think I am unusual because I have room in my heart for both the
positive and the negative? They each have a part to play. I love the universe
and I love a relationship through which the beauty of the universe shows
itself.
And I love passions and the dark fires that feed them. Oh, of course,
many would say I rationalize thus because lust is my passion. I am certainly
not one of those saints who seek a quick and easy embrace of the light at the
price of denying the dark. The purity of soul they gain in their trade is
accomplished at the cost of the narrow-mindedness that results. They would
forego the enlightenment of the mind for the sake of seeing their souls
purified.
Such saints are amateurs. They play by the rules without grasping that the
rules change according to the game you choose to play. If you want the
light, you have to make peace with the fire that creates the light. Otherwise
your eyes cannot see through the dark.
Yes, you have to let that fire burn in your soul in order to taste its hunger
and craving. There is no will without desire. And without will it is
impossible to know God unless, of course, you conceive the relationship as
that of a slave to a master. The master, then, has all the will and it is the
slave’s place to obey. After all, a slave does not need illumination or will,
only rules and commandments to guide him.
But even in that case, I tell you, a good slave anticipates and is ever ready
to fulfill the master’s will. A really good slave is an apprentice. The
connection runs that deep. The one knows what the other wants and seeks to
fulfill that need.
Where do I learn such things and what domain of human experience is the
training ground for my interactions with God? The answer is found in
women. You can learn these things from them.
I tell you, there is something wonderful about achieving absolute power
over a woman. If I act with the full power of a man, she is freed to respond
with the full power of a woman. I am authority, faith, and conviction. I am
her sovereign lord. She is yielding, submissive, receptive, and mine to do
with as I wish. She obeys me not because I demand it but because she is one
with me at the core of her being. In relationships such as these, I have often
asked myself, “Can it ever get better than this?”
But none of this is easy to achieve. What you learn from the dark fires
that burn in the secret depths of yourself is that you have to exert your full
will if you wish to get what you want. This is because the darkness within
us has many traps and pits and it is a dungeon all in itself. If you attach
yourself to a desire so it takes possession of you, your life becomes a
dungeon. The past becomes the bars of your prison. You never learn or
encounter anything new. Life is just ceaseless repetition. Your desire
shapes itself in countless ways without ever resolving or attaining beauty.
For this reason, I search through the dungeons of desire without lingering
or binding myself to anything. I know what is hidden there--the forgotten
seeds of what the future will bring. If you want enlightenment and not
merely the purity of a saint, you have to come to terms with the dark fires
that brought the stars into being. Whatever else I am, I a master of these
ancient, primordial fires. You may not be able to accuse me of being pure
but you can never fault me for failing to seek wisdom.
If purity is the test then what better way to lead a pure soul astray than by
tempting with love and intimacy? But this is not the game I play. You
cannot learn without making mistakes. Try to love and you suffer and also
cause suffering. That is the way it is. Intimacy is inherently dangerous.
You do not attain oneness without risking destruction. It does not take a
wise man to tell you this.
The lady sent to me by the demonic version of spirit of Ubarim was a
most wonderful woman. To touch her, just to hold her hands, why I felt I
was united with Divine Providence. Looking into her eyes, I often
wondered if it was not the Goddess of the Earth who was looking back at me
from inside. These two innocuous aspects of flirting--holding hands and
gazing into your lover’s eyes so as to produce angelic and divine visions--I
have never read any warnings about this in any love manual.
On the other hand, I think the demon was following a standard practice
for acquiring new recruits. He was giving me the power and the confidence
of the man I would one day be. He was offering me a shortcut to my
destiny. The demon saw that I would be given many spiritual gifts. He
offered me an opportunity to test and develop my gifts before I had the
experience to understand their proper application. I was granted bliss before
I had the knowledge and the will that sustain it.
A woman can give you more than a taste of that. This woman aroused my
desires and amplified my powers. She made me feel like a god.
Loving her was the easiest thing I ever did. She was so receptive to me it
was as if she was part of me. I swear she could read my mind. Her skin
radiated intense heat when I touched her. And then she would melt into my
arms as if the air in our chests and the blood in our veins flowed as one. At
times, there was one body, one mind, and one soul without separation.
I wrote this poem about my experience with this woman-Surely the beauty in her face
Is a thief stealing my happiness
Leaving emptiness in its place.
Every single time I see her
Her presence, her grace
Bind me with chains of desire
Torture me with flames of pain
Force me to walk within my dreams
And then watch them all betrayed.
I will tell you what I learned from this woman. The negative and dark serve
the purposes of creation and light. And if you are unafraid, you can find in
the negative the truth it contains.
I will speak bluntly but to the point. Every woman’s orgasms are
different and no two orgasms with any woman are the same. When this
woman had an orgasm I felt transported so that I felt I had become a child
again. I was certain if I looked through the windows I would see the trees of
my childhood surrounding my house. The home I never had full of love and
happiness was now something I could create through the touch of my
fingertips upon her flesh. To feel at peace and free with such ease--is there
any price you can put on this?
Powerful, godlike, and like a child--beauty is like that. It harmonizes all
the separate parts of your self. It shows you what you will one day be and it
also finds what is lost and returns it to you again.
Then again, if you enter a cave to escape the wind and rain, you have to
be prepared to deal with the scorpions, serpents, and vampire bats that may
lurk therein. You have to stay focused in the present moment, respond to
circumstances as they arise, and seize an opportunity the instant it appears.
And then too you have to know when to move on.
Like I say, when you are traversing the dungeons of the soul, you have to
remember that attachment becomes your prison. When you have found the
treasure of wisdom you have sought, you have to seize it and leave or else
you are lost. She opened her heart and gave me her soul but there was no
love anywhere within her. She served me but at the core of her being she
was the servant of the demon. When she thought that the bliss she gave me
was more than what I could resist, she told me she wanted me to stay with
her and forget about my destiny.
Though I offered it to her, she refused my gift--she did not wish to be free.
She already had everything she needed.
Demon # 2. Before I became a priest, a great spirit of love and peace
appeared to me during the Rites of Spring. I recognized him immediately.
He was like an old friend.
He said, “I notice that you under the influence of the dark lord who is the
negative version of myself. And like him your aura has grown opaque and
full of pools of sorrow and pain. I thought you might like a little touch of
unrestrained bliss filled with light and love to cheer you up.”
And before the spirit was done speaking, I felt released, renewed, and
once again optimistic about the purpose of my life.
Later on that night, I placed myself in a trance and spoke with this spirit
again. He replied in answer to my questions, “Every desire has a time when
it is satisfied in every conceivable manner. Then the mind blossoms like a
flower and is radiant like a star. I can explain what you need to do so love
takes hold of you.
“Unlike my counterpart, illusions cannot endure my presence. And unlike
him, I am not limited in what I may feel or imagine. When I love, my desire
and passion have no boundaries, for I tell you love is a cosmic power and a
consuming fire that transforms itself and all that it touches. Therefore, learn
from me that affection, trust, and love have the advantage in any situation.”
I thought about the spirit’s words. And then I made a lifetime
commitment to mastering this spirit’s teachings. But I also thought to
myself that such outrageously positive and commanding powers of creativity
were not quite what I needed on a daily basis. I needed something more
immediate that could take hold of my instinctual cravings so I could make
sense of them.
And the demon knew this also and sought to take advantage of it. I
needed a passport and a tour guide into the five kingdoms of sensual
gratification. This the demon was ready to provide.
You see, this demon is skillful in reading your mind. He discovers your
deepest dreams and desires for love and then produces an image of that love
so it is right in front of you. It is inviting and enticing, the sweetest thing
you can imagine.
Of course, this experience is not exactly what you intended. A demon is
after all a demon. What it produces is an illusion, something stale, empty,
and dead. Oh, you may say to yourself when you fall in love, “My whole
life has been a journey leading me to this moment in time.”
But guess again. The demon has apprentices whom he is quite willing to
share. These individuals do not seek to be whole or healed. They only
desire to pull others into the hideous pit of toxic emotions in which they
dwell. This is because such individuals love what is familiar--the unknown,
even if its name is freedom, is for them a living hell.
Healthy individuals do not obsess on each other when they love. They
have too many creative and enjoyable things to do. But those who embody
the negative have only you. Consequently, they will do whatever is
necessary--focusing their whole mind and soul on your needs--in order to
persuade you that their love is genuine. Deception is their specialty.
They may say, “Who has ever loved you like me? Who has ever given
you so much? Hold me and love me now and you will forget your doubts
and frustrations. All that counts is living in the here and now. Take me and
use me in any way you want. No one will ever compare to me--no one has
my imagination--when it comes to offering sensual gratification.”
And so it was that I met and fell in love with several apprentices of this
demon. Of course I knew what I was doing. The thing is, in life, unlike in
the higher spiritual realms, the positive and the negative are often
intertwined.
This demon, for example, knew about his counterpart’s positive arts of
transformation. And so there were many nights when the demon and I
engaged in long conversations. The demon would argue in this way-“Go ahead. Pick any feeling--affection, tenderness, kindness,
contentment, serenity, love, hope, joy, friendship, enthusiasm, rapture,
peace, passion, or well-being. Pick any sensation--pleasure, arousal,
excitement, attraction, sensuality, bliss, ecstasy. Pick one and I will put you
instantly into a state of mind where you will experience that feeling or
sensation in every aspect and nuance until you are utterly convinced that I
can cause to manifest more than your thoughts can dream.”
I accepted the spirit’s challenge. Unlike the liberals, the orthodox, and the
conservatives, I am not timid. I said one time, “Alright. I want the feeling
of being one with the universe and one with a woman in the same moment.
After all, what is a woman for a man but the beauty of nature right there in
front of him available to touch, to taste, and to melt into him at his
command.”
And the demon replied, “Ah yes, this is what I like so much about you.
Unlike so many others with their petty and boring requests for wealth, fame,
and pleasure, you bring your full imagination to the bargaining table.”
Then, with a wave of his hands and a few words of incantation, the demon
called forth an eerie green and purple light to fill the room along with
incense of cinnamon and cloves. And there was a sound too if you listened
carefully--the sound of sirens chanting hypnotic mantras designed to fill
your soul with palpable and intoxicating delights.
And then I beheld a vision of the sky becoming a sea and the galaxies as
islands. I was the captain of a galleon, a merchant who traded in the
treasures and ecstasies of all civilizations. Where some kind of knowledge,
pleasure, or power was rare, I would sell it at just the right price to make
myself rich, rich enough to command my own empire.
And there, at my side, my love mistress was my slave, bred to serve and
to obey. Trained to give every pleasure without lacking in grace, she was
forever mine--an enchantress whose fingers could trace the fibers of every
nerve in my body and ignite the fire in every desire in my soul. Every day
she had some new satisfaction or gratification to unfold.
The truth is, I took one of this demon’s apprentices for the sake of
pursuing this vision. The pleasures she granted were very much beyond the
powers of my mind to comprehend. They seemed to go on without end. But
I noticed after a time what was missing.
Though the demon and his servants are like a mirror that call forth your
deepest desires so that you can touch them, taste them, and keep them near,
this mirror has a flaw and a crack. It cannot reflect back what it itself lacks.
That sacred space where two become one, joined in love--this was
something the demon and his servants could never dream of or imagine.
And so once again I had a terrible realization. I saw that the love I sought
to express--to nurture, to protect, and to shelter my lover with all of my
heart--it had all come to naught. The love I had imagined had no
foundation. My hope was an illusion. Of course, you do not need a demon
to get yourself in this situation. Unrequited love is common enough.
But I sometimes wonder if I had looked more carefully at my experience
with this woman if I might not of found the spark of divine inspiration that
was seeking to ignite within me in spite of my pain and my loss. I think
there are times when I turn away from the light because it is too bright.
I describe these experiences now after having finally made peace with
myself. But at the time I lived through them the pain was extraordinary. It
is no easy thing to be touched in a way that makes you feel totally alive and
then have that life taken away from you. This is the poem I wrote for this
woman at the time I said good-bye.
In your hands I am emptiness
Darkness is my abode
A place where the soul lost
A time when the heart grows cold
The river flowing to the sea finds peace
The wave breaking on the shore finds release
Starlight falls about me in curtains of luminous rain
Oh night of dazzling pain
Is there no shelter for my heart?
I am in a universe without stars
Now that you from my life depart.
Demon # 3. One day in deep meditation, I encountered an angel of wisdom
who presides over the 18th degree of Scorpio. This spirit said to me, “Your
chakras have an unusual configuration. In some ways you are very
advanced. Your abilities are greatly enhanced. But in other ways you have
the cravings of a primordial dragon.
“Like an alchemist, you mix light and darkness, masculine and feminine
in just the right amounts to obtain the elixir of wisdom. Yet the path of spirit
for you passes through the density of matter and the dark void that lies
underneath. Your quest requires of you to obtain absolute power over
another.
“But this will not be a problem for you if you command the other with
love and honor. Primordial powers are in your hands. This path into the
hidden and the forbidden is not easy. This yoke of blind craving has been
placed on you by fate.
“Understand what is at stake. Once every few hundred years an
individual is assigned this task. It is a test to your race to see if someone is
able to pass through a sacred space--the gate that leads to cosmic wisdom. If
you should succeed--in the day your mastery is complete--you shall be like
unto us--servants of Divine Providence who are benefactors of light, love,
freedom, and grace.”
After this encounter, I could see the energy field that surrounds each
individual. I did not always understand what I saw but, after further
observation and study, each energy configuration yielded to me the secrets it
concealed. It became easy for me to identity why this person was clever,
that person was brilliant, or someone else was patient and enduring. It was
as easy as telling summer from winter.
I saw what was behind the fear in an individual’s eyes. I saw the secret
dreams that appeared only in deep sleep that made this person restless and
that person wise. I saw why one individual loved with power and another
individual’s heart would remain wounded the rest of his life. The energy
they possessed told the whole story. At a glance, I could determine an
individual’s qualities of mind, of soul, of body, and of spirit.
But it is also the case that you do not go wandering about in the spiritual
realms, on the inner planes and domains of the invisible worlds, without
those who hold power taking note as you approach. And so the demon
corresponding to the same angel came around. You can bet on this being the
case without a doubt, for this is how the universe works. You cannot draw
close to the light without having to deal, to steal, to defend yourself, or make
friends with the darkness also.
Waiting until I was in just the right mood, the demon slipped into my
room appearing in the corner next to me. I felt a tingling sensation in the
soles of his feet. This sensation began to build until it became a throbbing,
palpitating shaking as if the ground were quaking. Something immense was
beginning to stir in the earth or else within my soul--I could not quite tell
whether it was real, a vision, or a dream that had taken hold.
My body felt heavy. I tried to lift my arm but I found my body was
paralyzed. I was unable to move as if I were enchased in a huge boulder
made of steel.
It took a while for me to come to my senses and regain my composure.
But this demon was patient, not at all in a hurry. The demon then said to
me, “Excuse me for appearing without an invitation, but I have come to
express my concern. There is an insidious emptiness that has blossomed
inside of you. You know exactly what I am referring to. You just haven’t
admitted to yourself that your condition is unbearable. But I am sure you
must know that you have to do something about it before things worsens. I
can help you get out of your situation.”
“And how would you do that?” I asked.
The demon replied, “I possess the very thing you lack. Oneness with
another has not yet entered your experience. This treasure is right here at
my fingertips. I can teach you the words to whisper in a woman’s ear so this
wonder can appear. In regard to producing physical sensations of oneness, I
am like no other.
“Every nerve ending obeys my voice. Every sensation and sensory
perception is mine to command. You cannot attain to your destiny without
apprenticing to me and learning what I know first hand.
“I offer my gifts freely--every treasure I possess--except there is one
small test. Like every true and genuine teacher, I need a disciple, one who is
worthy of me, one willing to assume my authority and responsibilities after I
move on. Therefore, my offer to you is unique and without precedent in the
demonic realms. Take as much as you want of all I have whenever you want
it. The only restriction is that you never depart from my kingdom or the
domain where I reign.
“You do not have to act now. Take time to decide. Explore, see, feel,
taste, listen, smell the fragrance--all that is within my treasure vaults are
your inheritance. Try things out. Take days, months, years, decades. It
makes no difference to me. I am after results that last for eternity.
“I think in the end you will find that my mansion has more rooms of
pleasure and satisfaction than you can ever discover or imagine. But don’t
take my word for it. Let the test be your first hand experience. The five
senses do not deceive when it comes to revealing the treasures I have
conceived.
“And as a further act of good will, I give you the woman of whom you
have always dreamed. The deepest desires will flow through the two of you,
for without this profound degree of intimacy, your emptiness will only
increase. Take her, touch her, taste her--you will end up asking yourself, ‘Is
it possible to have deeper intimacy or a greater oneness than this?’
“You will feel that you have never been separated from her--your past
sufferings will seem like they never occurred--the oneness with her will be
that complete. You will feel you have always known her, that life makes no
sense without her, and that you were not really alive until the moment you
met.
“I sense doubt on your part. Come. Let us reason together and discuss
the outcome you desire. Kamhia, in your own words, tell me exactly what
you want from a woman? Just say it right out. Don’t think. Let your heart
speak freely from the depths of your dreams.”
I replied, “What do I want from a woman? I want a woman who is
innocent yet sophisticated, vulnerable yet committed, vivacious yet caring,
sensual yet possessing spiritual depth. I want a woman who is so receptive
that she can easily contain all that I am enfolding me in an instant with her
eyes, her lips, her breath.”
The demon replied nodding his head as if showing respect, “Your request
is granted. As for the one condition concerning the restriction on your
freedom, it is just a practical matter. Every society must have boundaries
and laws to establish and sustain stability and productivity--in order to
complete its historical role and mission. My kingdom is the same. You
cannot inherit unless you join. It is a small price to pay for admission.”
For a number of years, I took the demon up on his offer. I explored the
range and spectrum of primal gratification, intense sensations, enthrallment,
and spellbinding emotional displays. In the end, there was that same old
question still hanging in the air--love is more than the sensations the senses
explore. There is a oneness of hearts that makes for a new creation. I just
could not get the hang of things from the demon’s perspective. I was
addicted to the idea of creating something new. It is the curse of prophets as
well that their visions do not jell with the expectations forged from out of the
cauldron of tradition.
By contrast, it was the demon’s intent that I come to enjoy power for its
own sake. In this case, the other serves and obeys you blindly without
question. There is no other way. But I kept doggedly loving and honoring
the woman. I possessed. I enchanted. I commanded. I probed and entered
her soul and made it my own. I found the deepest passions within her and
set them on fire. And I did all of this without ever losing my desire to love
without restriction.
My attitude was very upsetting especially for a demon. The demon
finally said to me, “I don’t want you to come around any more. You offend
me. You are a disgrace to my demonic state, you are bad for my reputation,
and you interfere with my work. Go away and never come back.”
Perhaps it was the overpowering emotions combined with physical
exhaustion, but when she left I felt forsaken, like a hungry ghost--a departed
spirit without a body to gratify the cravings of the senses. This is the poem I
wrote when I was recovering from my loss.
I am dead now
The fire has no where to burn
The smoke and smoldering desires of memory fade
The twigs, the leaves, the coals-There is no fuel left for flame
Only the sound of your heartbeat
Only the seas of your love
Only this rain of tears falling
Though eyes, ears, and body no longer remain.
My Discussion with God
To say the least, my experience with demons was devastating. And so one
day in a moment of pure insight I decided to speak to the judge of my case.
I spoke not to some angel or archangel or guardian angel or Judge of the
human race.
No, I was not willing to work through the bureaucratic channels
following some sort of demented, ecclesiastical rules. Instead, I spoke to
God face to face. This was not so difficult for me. When you are a high
priest, you have certain privileges and prerogatives. You have magical keys
and ancient knowledge at your disposal. You know what words to speak,
what enchantments to chant, the right meditations and contemplations. The
method will always be there when you need it if you put forth your full will
to find it.
I proceeded and did what I needed to appear in God’s presence. And
then I said to God, “Clearly, I have failed to follow through with my vow to
love a woman with all of my heart. This has been the cause of all the
suffering I have undergone. Therefore, let me add an addendum to the
original offer and acceptance without modifying the original intent.
“I would add this: with each woman I meet, I shall seek to understand her
desires and listen to her heart so that I might learn how to become a man
who can love a woman with all of his heart.
“The oath remains. We are just placing it in a new time frame.
Though I made the commitment, I did not realize in the beginning the
necessary conditions and obligations the commitment entails--that to
accomplish the objective requires wisdom, strength, knowledge, experience,
and a superhuman level of caring.”
And not hearing a response, I immediately went on, “I sense doubt on
Your part. You think I only want to be promiscuous. You feel I lack the
resolve and commitment and that my intent is not genuine. Let me argue my
case. How can there be wisdom without experience? How can there be the
kind of love of which I speak except a man learns how to feel and play upon
every nerve in a woman’s body as a musician learns to play every string and
note that his lute contains? A lover must also be an artist.
“Oh You who are the Creator, do You not agree with me when I say: as
you approach the heart of another to unite all that you are with all that is
within the other, at that moment love transcends the human and expands
outward to infinity, entering and uniting with every other hearts in the
universe.
“The lover is an artist and is therefore also a mystic and a magician. To
love a woman with all of my heart I must apprentice to You, the Creator. To
love is to be free and also to be united so that the senses are liberated and are
able to perceive without the thoughts of the mind or the desires of the body
interfering with the perceptions. To be pure requires a taste that can
distinguish the good from the bad. Purity is not a gift at the beginning but
the result at the end.
“Therefore I shall look for You in every women even as I walk through
the halls whose walls are flames of desire and whose floors are whirlpools of
craving. And as I taste, touch, smell, see, and hear the woman’s body before
me--even though every sensory sensation is a door leading downward into a
dungeon of demons, I shall fear not. For the woman’s body and soul is Your
temple.
“It is here, amid the conflict and confusion, here in the darkest place that I
shall be granted a vision of Your face. For how shall I love and create like
unto Your love and artistic creativity except I also contain within myself my
opposite? By Your grace, pain and agony I shall transmute into ecstasy.
“By Your inspiration, the horror and hell, and betrayal and abandonment
I shall transform into beauty. By Your will, I shall enter the darkest place,
and passing through, I shall again ascend and enter the light that has no end.
If love is to demonstrate its endless creativity then it will be done here amid
this world and through this body and soul in which I dwell.”
If I may jump ahead of my story line, years later, after fleeing for my life,
I was granted protection by King Irkomen. At that time, a young woman, an
acolyte seeking higher initiation into the Temple of Venus, came to visit me.
She was working on a thesis relating to the mysteries of love. Her specific
research proposal focused on defining the ecstasies and the dangers
surrounding those moments when human and divine love overlap, intersect,
and join as one.
It has been years since I had talked to anyone about my experiences with
love. So I took the day off from my job overseeing the manufacture and
distribution of beer and walked among green hills and tall forests as I poured
out my soul to this young woman.
Someone had once said to me, “I am not afraid to ask you stupid
questions.” That individual assumed and took for granted that I was always
generous and understanding. To this I replied, “Be afraid. Know this, it is
the intent and not the intelligence behind the question that is important.
Certain kinds of knowledge and wisdom can never be found if the question
does not arise from the heart. Ask the wrong question and you put yourself
years if not decades behind in your search.”
But this young woman did ask the right question and it was obvious her
heart was in it. She said, “Tell me what you have learned about love?” She
somehow knew that I was the only one in Ubarim who could speak freely
with the Goddess of the Earth without relying upon elaborate rituals, words
of power, or undergoing rare initiations.
I replied to her, “There is no question that true love exists. It is not once
every century that it appears on earth nor only every seven years during the
Great Rite. It can happen to anyone in a moment, a microsecond, during a
dream or a vision. It can appear during a touch or a kiss. It can happen any
way you wish.
“It is not its appearance that is rare. It is the price you pay for it, its cost,
that makes it so dear.
“And what is the price? How do you gain admission to this magical,
mystical, and mythical kingdom of love?” she asked.
I said, “One of the elements of love of this kind is that you no longer
need to know who you are. You leave your identity behind. It is only in love
that you can undergo transformation without knowing where you are going
or what you are becoming. As with any true initiation, it is the silence you
explore, the darkness you enter, and the emptiness you embrace before the
knowing, before the light and the revelation appear, that determine how
much truth you may embrace.
“In love, two hearts approach each other and join. To accomplish this,
you must cross over your personal boundaries. You leave aside the familiar
definitions that protect your identity. In a very real sense, the world as you
know it comes to an end.
“You cannot let another enter the depths of your self nor can you find
these depths without crossing over into the unknown. Love is a power
beyond all knowledge and wisdom. Its ecstasy is the power behind
creation.”
“What are you saying about the individuals who embrace such love? Are
you saying that they cannot remember what has happened to them--they
forget it because it is so different or that it is too painful to endure? Or are
you saying it is beyond the power of words?” she asked.
I said to her, “Let me put it simply. If you let down your boundaries to
love another, the parts of yourself you do not know, the darkness inside
yourself, shows up as well. It is not only intimacy and oneness that occurs
during love. The demons that dwell beyond the safe boundaries that guard
morality and conventional forms of love, duty, and responsibility--these
demons come forward demanding you explain to them why you have
disturbed them because it is your love that has awakened them.
“It is like this. Two lovers in their love stumble beyond the boundaries of
the world. They enter an unknown kingdom of the soul. In that place there
are great treasures of ecstasy and also great horrors. The demons are there
because the unknown and unexplored contains things for which we have no
names. And some of these things are powers that create and some are
powers that destroy even as the source of light is a dark fire that destroys
matter.
“The way to survive this journey is for the lovers to feel completely
comfortable in slipping into and out of their identities. To live in the
moment without clinging to definitions, to be without rules and expectations,
and to see the world new in each sensory perception--this is the only
protection.
“Without this emptiness and this degree of personal freedom, two lovers
look at each other surrounded as they are by the unknown. And in that
unknown kingdom of the soul you are either a noble knight come to rescue
your mate from the darkness or else you are the enemy--the one who has
taken the other into the unknown and then abandoned him or her in that
strange place.
“The demons in one sense are familiar to us all--jealousy, hatred, fear,
terror, anger, regret, etc. But the worst is abandonment--to find that the love
you felt you had has become an alien presence that indwells you and which
you cannot banish. This is the danger of true love--people prefer placing
upon the unknown a familiar face when their imagination can no longer
define or name the experiences they embrace.
“It is so much easier to blame--to say that the other has hurt you rather
than confront the pain that is hidden in yourself. It is easier to say the other
has wounded you than to take responsibility for healing your wounds. So
many are so ready to insist that their lover owes them protection and then
bind and chain the lover rather than realize that to be alive is to be without
protection.”
She asked, “How is it possible to put aside fear and insecurity? And is
that the only way for this level of intimacy to be gained?”
I responded, “I know that putting aside fear and insecurity are required but
I have not yet accomplished this for myself. I have found answers to my
questions but organizing my life in a way that my dreams can be fulfilled-this has eluded my grasp. Perhaps you my dear will return to me one day
and share with me the love you have found in yourself. I say this because at
this moment in time I still have not found another whom I can love with all
of my heart. If there is trick to true love it is this: it takes two who pursue
each other’s heart with equal and unrelenting desire.”
My Heresy
I committed heresy today. If the Elders discover my sacrilege my life is
forfeit. What wrong have I done? I have performed the Great Rite on my
own without authorization out of my desire for knowledge.
I taught a woman to dance with such beauty and grace that the Goddess
of the Earth manifested through her body and soul. Oh I know, this act on
my part runs counter to all tradition and undermines the ideals upon which
Ubarim was founded. It is just that, at times, my desire for wisdom has no
limitations. I am relentless in my pursuit--I probe and grasp, seeking to taste
and unite with the essence of the universe. I celebrate light and life to such
an extent that, if only for a brief moment, She becomes my consort.
This accomplishment is not impossible. I possess the requisite
knowledge of women. This I know--a woman’s body and soul are designed
to manifest this vision. All my life I have studied and worshiped women.
All my life I have sought new and unknown ways to unite with them. It
matters not to me that my ideas are unacceptable and unthinkable to so many
others of my generation.
I will write here the synthesis of the procedure. Perhaps in some future
age of the world mankind will be more receptive to beauty and more in love
with wisdom. In that age, my words and my accomplishments will have
greater appeal.
There is of course a preliminary warm-up. The woman you choose as a
consort has to give you absolute trust. There is only one way to attain this-reveal to her the secrets of her body and the treasures of her soul. To do this,
you first have to love her and guide her into the kingdoms of ecstasy.
Use your fingertips and palms to search through the wonders of her skin.
Discover those places where the deepest life force pulses ready to awaken at
your caress. With your hands on her skin, show her how to let go, to
abandon herself and to surrender so that she enters a place where fear can
never go. Shape her body with your hands so that for hours on end there is
only room for bliss in her consciousness. Accomplish this. Only then you
are ready to move on.
Next teach her to dance. Weave into that dance the marvelous fluidity
and the silent depths of the sea. This part will be expressed in the way she
moves and sways her hips--undulating, rhythmic, and mesmerizing--this is
her response to the sculpted art of ecstasy you have molded and fashioned
from her body.
Then capture the open, luminous, and boundless light of the sky--the taste
of freedom and the magnificence of the enlightened mind. This is found in
the woman’s eyes. There is a slight trick in getting a woman to perceive so
that her eyes become luminous like a prism that bends light for the sake of
beauty.
You look into her eyes, into their depths, and there you must see every
desire that has ever been and ever shall be--you see it satisfied, every
craving gratified. The universe at peace. All human need freed. Her eyes
are like a candlewick. Your will is the fire that causes that wick to ignite.
Imagination sometimes requires great intensity of undisturbed concentration.
This is a time for such application.
There is more but I think you get my drift. What I have described sets
forth the basics. You just have to unlock the powers in the five senses with
you voice, your eyes, your tongue, your fingertips. You have to enliven the
woman’s nerves so that her body is ready to burst yet equally contain that
fire within a feeling of cool, lunar, luminous, and soft tranquility. Bring into
play the feminine and the masculine without diminishing either and without
dispersing the energy through excitability or anxiety.
And then you need music that expresses the deepest desires of the heart,
that follows desire down into that place where the Earth gave birth to life at
the start. The result is that the Goddess senses you have created a place
where She is welcome. In such a place, all of life is felt and held in
woman’s heart without fear of loss.
I have accomplished this because I know how to love. I know the need
that burns in the depths of woman’s soul and how to tranquilize, sooth, and
take away the pain so that only satisfaction remains. Let others consider my
actions unlawful and an abomination. I tell you, the Goddess seeks to
awaken and to have Her beauty expressed in and through every woman. In
regard to this point, I will never recant or turn away from what I have seen,
touched, tasted, and felt. Though my words may one day be lost to history,
my ideas shall be reborn in the fullness of time as lovers discover the
treasures their hearts contain.
The Goddess of the Earth
One day the Goddess of the Earth appeared to me in a waking vision. She
said, “In all of the earth, you are the only human being who has discovered
that every desire contains a fire that inspires. You search beyond the realms
of light, righteousness, and illuminated sight. You enter the dark dungeons
of the soul to search for the mysteries of love that shall unfold. You have
discovered that love must taste both pain and sorrow if it is to embrace bliss
and ecstasy.
Therefore, I grant you this boon--you may ask of me any questions
regarding the heavens above, the earth below, or the fate and destiny of the
human race I shall bestow.
I replied, “The answers to my questions have been hidden from my race
as if even the archangels’ resolution and faith fail when they attempt to
reveal them. Illuminate my mind and heart so that my doubts are
vanquished and my fears forever depart.
“Why do we strive with each other so that love is more rare than a
starburst that flares so distant and alone amid the celestial cold? And tell me
this: Why is peace a fleeting dream, a desert flower that blooms in brief
relief after the storms and cataclysms that history shapes? Is it that love and
peace are so deep the human heart can neither imagine nor endure the vision
that sustains them?
The Goddess replied, “Male and female do not easily become one. They
join yet I have made them separate so that all obstacles they may overcome.
And this is the reason: the oneness I require is forged in the fire that, out a
song of Joy, gave birth to all the stars. The passion I inspire knows every
desire--it probes the secrets concealed in darkness; it tastes the mysteries
revealed by light.
“In the touch of a kiss, in the palms of those who behold My bliss, are the
powers of creation--My children shall be as the light of the morning, a
morning washed clean, filled with wondrous dreams, as a new dawn rising
in the darkest abyss; My beauty shall be upon them, for they shall create
justice, love, and peace where none exist.
“There are those on earth who consider that the effort I require is too
great, that I have given too much aggression to men and that this is a
mistake. They seek an easier way more gentle and nurturing, one in which
the circle of affection is never broken. They dream of rest and peace and
shelter in which the heart of conflict is never penetrated.
“There are mothers who wish to hold the fetus in their womb so that it
may live on without ever being born. They offer the Garden of Eden and
Paradise without ever paying a price. There is the mother who relishes in
the infant’s need and desire for her breasts. She cherishes that attachment
and would have mankind remain a part of nature, free from technology and
knowledge of the fires that burn in the stars.
“There is the mother who would keep the child from becoming a man.
She feels he will no longer be hers once he comes to understand the law and
order of the universe that is beyond her knowledge. There is the mother who
would refuse the young man from taking fate and destiny into his own
hands. She feels he will abandon her--friendship and gratitude never
nurtured, learned, or born in any form.
“But I am not as these. I freely offer my powers and the wonders of My
grace. I hold nothing back. I only ask of my children that they go forth in
freedom, for my beauty and love shall inspire them. And we shall never be
separate, for I dwell within them.
“And in the fullness of time, they shall become more than Me. And in
that day my dreams shall be fulfilled and the purposes behind creation shall
reach new heights, for this is the kind of Goddess I am.
“For four billion years, I have watched and nourished this planet. I have
waited and contemplated. But now the time is right. I require a race that
can protect the planet and all life from natural disasters overcoming the
limitations of fate.
“I ask not only that you survive and prevail. I ask you to become more so
that the desires of My heart may be fulfilled, that My dreams might be made
real. To this end, I have placed within your hearts the instincts of every
animal, the intent of every demon, and the inspiration of every angel. This
knowledge does not lead to bondage. It is the gift of freedom.
“It is not enough during this short interglacial period for your race to
attain to peace and harmony so that wars are no more and equality becomes
reality. I need a race that thrives on quests. I need a race that dreams of
what may be and then ascends. I need you to be my friends. To this end, I
search among you for those who would be my champions and defend the
purposes I intend.
“And so it is no mystery that, unlike so many others, your species makes
war upon itself as you strive with one another to attain planetary domination.
And it is no wonder that you marvel at the cost of evolution as if the price I
require is too much to pay--to plumb the depths of despair, to have terror and
war in the air, to have horror and death fall upon those for whom you care.
You discover that the greatest power cannot quench desire and that the
greatest wisdom cannot create love.
“This is my answer to your despair: the beauty of love you consider to be
so rare is everywhere. It is in the air. It is in a kiss and every taste of bliss.
Every desire is my gift.
“Every flower on earth sings a different song through which I rejoice.
Every tree bares witness to me--my longings are within its leaves. Its roots
vibrate with my being. Every stream and cloud, every lake and sea speak of
me.
“Every volcano exploding is my hunger overflowing in ecstasy. Every
mountain prays for my children to awaken and to discover their freedom.
“I am a planet circling a star among countless others spread out among
countless galaxies. But in my heart I am far more. I am the consort to the
Creator and together we have created the universe. We ask of you that you
become as We are. We invite you to celebrate Our love.
“To accomplish this, do as we do--make the world new. There are no
limitations or restrictions placed upon who you are or what you may
accomplish. Probe the mysteries and depths of your hearts--you will find
that the treasures of Our beauty and the mysteries of Our love are within you
and within and beneath every desire.
“If you want to love another and also to be loved, act without fear. All the
earth is sacred--every living being hold dear. Love will then flow in you,
through you, from you, and to you. Oneness with another you will not be
denied. It will come to you in the fullness of time when you are able to
endure the fire, the power, and find your way across the abyss where every
true creator exists.
“And peace as well shall circle the earth and encompass the stars when the
hearts of those whose love master both light and dark. The love of which I
speak fulfills every purpose and satisfies every need.
“In My love, all separation is overcome. The journey through darkness,
sorrow, and loss is recaptured by the creators and remade into a song more
beautiful than the stars. It shall be even as I say, though each indeed is free
to chart his or her way.
“In the hearts of My children shall burn my passion. Their eyes shall see
through the hearts of the stars and in their smiles you shall see the beauty of
the constellations. In their hands shall be the powers of creation. And as for
My voice--mountain, wind, fire, and tree shall be the consonants with which
they speak. Sky and sea, earth and galaxy shall be in the vowels that
resonate when they speak of Me.
“No religion comprehends Who I Am, though it is I who grant
permission to each before they may appear on earth. But the day shall come
when those who seek to be transformed and to attain absolute freedom shall
come to Me for nourishment and inspiration. And in that day, the love,
oneness, and peace that you seek shall fill all the earth.”
Author’s note: This was one of the dialogues Kamhia wrote down after
having spoken to the Goddess. Kamhia was certainly a man of complexity
and contradictions. He is probably the most controversial in Ubarim. The
darkest and the brightest, the lowest and the highest--he would have loved to
have fused them together in order to create a new wonder.
Kamhia was not the only one in Ubarim trying to negotiate a fair trade
between the kingdoms of light and darkness. King Irkomen was part of a
family line that had a vested interest in one of a cosmic dragon. And so it is
not surprising that a story made up in his presence might be more than just a
bedtime story it suggests.
The Knight and the Dragon
This story was made up by King Irkomen, his wife, and his youngest
daughter. The daughter’s name was ice because when she was born an icicle
had formed and crept down across the window of her bedroom.
King Irkomen: So I hear you are having trouble sleeping tonight.
Ice. That’s right. Can’t fall asleep. I keep waking up.
King Irkomen: I know the remedy for this. It is part of a long tradition.
A bedtime story is the solution.
Ice. I don’t want a story.
King Irkomen. This one is different.
Ice. How?
King Irkomen. The three of us shall enter the story and the power of our
wills will determine the outcome.
Ice. That’s sounds interesting. OK, mom, why don’t you go first.
Queen Irkomen: Once upon a time there was a brave knight.
King Irkomen: But he was very sad. A mean old dragon stole his bride
on their wedding day.
Ice: So the knight swore he would rescue her. He searched far and wide.
Queen Irkomen: One day, he found the dragon tying the maiden to a pole
in a forest clearing.
King Irkomen: And the knight said to the dragon, “Release that maiden
or you are dead.
Queen Irkomen: The dragon laughed and said, “Foolish knight, to
challenge me is to die.”
Ice: Wait you two, you skipped my turn. “Must dragons and knights
always fight?” asked ice still using the voice of the maiden.
Dad: What? No fierce fight to the death?
Queen Irkomen: No romantic and daring rescue?
Ice: Why can't you two work together for a change?
Queen Irkomen: Ah, I see what you are after. So the maiden cried out:
“Wait, don't fight, I have a better plan of action.”
King Irkomen: “Impossible,” said the dragon. “It is my nature to collect
beautiful maidens, to hoard gold, and to ravish the land.”
Queen Irkomen: “And it is certainly my nature,” said the knight, “to
rescue maidens in distress, to slay dragons, and to defend what is right.”
King Irkomen: “So, you see, fair maiden, we really must fight,” said the
dragon.
Ice: “Look,” said the maiden, “I am a part of this story as much as you.
And since I am so beautiful my last request you cannot refuse. I want you
two to change places.”
Queen Irkomen: “OK. We will change places for a moment out of
respect for duty and honor,” decided the knight.
King Irkomen: “Speak for yourself, knight,” said the dragon. “But I will
consent to this request to put the challenge to the test.”
Queen Irkomen: But after changing his shape into that of the knight, the
dragon said, “Gee, so this is what it is like to be a heroic knight: people
telling stories of me over ale and mead and singing my praise down through
the ages.”
King Irkomen: And the knight said after turning into the dragon, “You
know, as a dragon, I just want what's mine: gold, beautiful women, and the
fear of mankind. I have been hiding out in caves for a very long time. I
think I would enjoy, for a change, a castle and a kingdom to add to my
lineage.” The two looked at each other and said, “Perhaps we can make a
deal.”
Queen Irkomen: And so they did. The knight built his castle over the
dragon's cave. In the brief moment he was the dragon, the knight decided he
liked country living and scenic locations.
And in the brief moment the dragon was the knight, he thought about all
of the kingdom's treasures and decided they were not very safe. So he
offered to guard them without even charging a fee.
Ice: The maiden, now a queen, visited the dragon regularly. She liked
those who took her suggestions to heart.
Queen Irkomen: And when she was away on royal visits, she sent the
court minstrel to entertain the dragon. The minstrel put the dragon’s stories
into songs that made both of them famous.
King Irkomen: And the knight was happy. No one even thought about
attacking his kingdom, for he had a dragon on his side.
Atlantis
Introduction
I recently received a question by email concerning a language and rituals
currently being taught that are claimed to be from Atlantis. These were
obtained through “reading the akasha.” The idea is that there is a recording
device in the spiritual universe that accurately depicts every event to the
extent that you cannot only “read about it” but you can also relive it as if you
are there and within it. It is a great idea.
The problem is that individuals and groups who say, “I received this from
the akashic records” are sometimes using imagination and desire to
manufacture their perceptions. They make things up to the extent that they
con themselves like a con man who fools himself into believing he is who he
says he is. Such an individual can even pass a lie detector test because in his
own mind he is telling the truth. It is helpful, therefore, to be at least
conscious that every perception and description involves interpretation and
every translation contains a factor of difficulty.
This is not to say that psychic archeology is impossible. It is just that I
wish to be completely clear about the difference between what is “received”
or made up and what constitutes genuine evidence supporting a specific
theory.
The story of Atlantis comes to us solely from the writings of Plato in the
preamble to his dialogue Timaeus and from his fragmentary dialogue,
Critias. From even a casual reading of these dialogues, it is clear that
Plato’s agenda is to present a “historical” background that glories Athens
and that provides a prior example of the perfect society Plato is envisioning
in his work, Republic.
Notwithstanding Plato’s ulterior motives, the details of Atlantis Plato
presents raise questions about whether Plato could have made Atlantis up or
if he did not in fact get the idea from elsewhere. Whatever the case, there
are no physical artifacts that provide any credible evidence for Atlantis. In
fact at this time, there is no physical evidence of any kind.
Though Edgar Cayce prophesied that Atlantis would be rediscovered in
our time, nothing as yet has been proven. A naturopath and scuba diver, Ray
Brown, has one of the best first hand accounts of an archeological discovery
that points towards Atlantis. But this account also has not been confirmed.
In other words, all the books and all the psychic accounts of Atlantis have
absolutely no basis in historical fact. Without supporting evidence, the
whole discussion remains speculation, possibility, myth, legend, and selfserving story telling. It is good to keep this in mind.
Still, the idea of Atlantis is wonderful and fabulous as a concept. A
society once existed that had equaled if not advanced beyond our own
sciences. And this society was destroyed by abuse of the sacred powers
under its control. Such an idea, whether real, mythological or science
fiction, has a great deal to say to us today.
For me, the story of Atlantis is a great context in which to pursue my
questions: How and in what manner are wisdom, power, and love joined as
one? What is the Spoken Word? What is our part in the Act of Creation and
what is our place in the divine workshop? What must we do now during our
own time on earth so that truth, justice, and love are preserved, so light
remains on earth? And what is the price for such wisdom?
To answer these questions, like Plato before us, we must by necessity pass
beyond the familiar boundaries set by religions and all previous mythologies
on the earth. This fable is best understood as fiction, as an entertaining story
of mystical exploration. But let us see if we can craft an image from
creative imagination that captures a small portion of archetypal inspiration.
The Fall of Atlantis
Late at night a darkness comes upon me in a strange vision that lasts for two
days. Why, I ask myself, is it that when love, sweet love and happiness are
closest to me, just then a dark vision also comes seeking, seeking to take
hold and bind me? But I already know the answer—those who would sing
of the Light must also enter the darkness and sail upon its high seas.
For if we would make within ourselves a womb--a dwelling place within
our souls for the act of creation--we must prefer darkness along with the
light. Hidden beneath this ocean, an ancient and forgotten civilization once
witnessed a word of power cloaked in the full majesty of light and darkness
joined.
And though this tale is fantastic and certainly full of controversy, do not
fret those of you who love to argue. I have no doctrines to defend or spread.
If you press me, I will tell you outright that I care not at all for the past, for
the past is forever gone. And those of you whose minds easily mistake
visions for reality, do not say to me that I have unleashed a whirlwind of
dazzling images within your soul that have taken possession of you. For
know this--I am the enemy of illusions.
And do not say to me, “Finish what you have begun. We would know
the exact coordinates on the map where the pyramids of Atlantis may be
found beneath the sea or perhaps under the sandy ocean floor within the
Bermuda Triangle.” No, do not be confused. I am not writing this to
torment anyone. This is a bardic song. Its magic, if any is to be found,
reveals ultimately what is to be, for fate and destiny have and always will
turn upon the desires hidden in the depths of our hearts. It is these desires I
seek to reveal.
He'adra and Le'ah'e
In our world, physicists such as Einstein have forged theories of matter,
time, space, and energy. But, as with Einstein, they have failed to attain
their goal--there is as yet no unified field theory relating the fundamental
forces of nature to gravity's pull. I will not dwell upon the fact that our
scientists still cannot account for ninety per cent of the matter in the universe
which they conveniently call dark matter. But Atlantis understood dark
matter and the secrets of gravity long ago. Their airplanes could fly as fast
as the speed of earth's rotation all without gasoline or jet propulsion.
Yet the science of Atlantis did not stop there. They turned their quest for
knowledge toward the power within crystals, such as crystal balls that were
used within pyramids. For them, the mind and its powers were also a
worthy object of exploration. Their wisdom penetrated the veils separating
the inner and outer worlds. That is, unlike our Western science and
Christian theology, the Atlantians considered the spiritual worlds a
legitimate area of exploration. And so, in Atlantis, the Guardians of the
world (which we have not yet come to know) walked beside human beings
so that Atlantis had a destiny ablaze.
He'adra
Within this ancient civilization was born a man named He'adra and a woman
he would one day meet named Le'ah'e. The story of these lovers is, of
course, a book in itself, but I will keep it short. Let us consider He'adra.
One day not long before He'adra met Le'ah'e, God appeared to He'adra in a
dream. And God spoke and said, “Of all those who dwell on earth, it is
within your heart that I am free to appear. Ask of me, therefore, whatsoever
you choose in the heavens above, upon the earth, or beneath the earth and I
will grant it to you.”
And He'adra replied, “Grant that my will may be in harmony with Your
own--that all my actions and deeds in service to others may serve the
purposes of Divine Providence and arise from the One Light.”
And God replied, “Because you do neither seek power for its own sake
nor do you ask anything for yourself at all but only to be of service to others,
I shall grant you power without limitation. Your voice shall be like unto My
own. Your power will be such that there shall be none like you, neither
before you nor after you in the history of this planet on which you dwell.”
And so He'adra was empowered by God beyond all other men. But this
gift was not a finished product. It was not like a tool that could be
immediately set to use.
Later on in our Western history as religious documents record, King
Solomon was also granted a wish by God. Solomon’s response was to ask
for wisdom. And yet Solomon, according to his own words, had to explore
and discover on his own the nature of this wisdom and how it could be
applied. In the book of Ecclesiastes, Solomon recounts the many ways he
studied and examined the nature of human desire and mind. Combining the
arts of the social scientist and the sage, he presented his conclusion: “To
everything a time and season. A time to be born and a time to die....”
Recall also how the Bible states that the gentile Prophet Balaam
discovered a way that leads directly into the Divine Presence. Like Balaam,
He'adra had an impeccable comprehension of the energies within and behind
nature. And He'adra was also trained in the traditional manner of the
priests/scientists of Atlantis.
Yet there came a time when He'adra's path led him beyond the knowledge
and wisdom of his day. In order to explore the will God had given him, he
had to cross beyond the boundaries separating human history from other
evolutions and spiritual domains.
One way He’adra sought to master the power within him was through
extensive dialogues with the great spirits of the earth and of our solar
system. First and foremost of these beings was the spirit who we might call
the Goddess of the Earth. She has many names and there are hints of Her in
many religions.
I have also related elsewhere He'adra's encounter with a great being of
fire, one of the kings of the salamanders named Pyrhum, who dwells within
the depths of the earth. Another great spirit He'adra confronted is named
Malchjdael. Malchjdael is perhaps the most powerful spirit within our solar
system. He dwells amid a sea of fire greater in size than the earth in a place
that exists upon the planet Jupiter.
And the question He'adra posed to Malchjdael was, “What is the first, the
original Light as it manifests from out of the Unmanifest? Is it right for men
to call and name this light God? And can it be known or not? Can it be
found or not within one's own heart? Or is it our fate that we can neither
taste nor create after the manner of God? Are we left and destined to be
poor imitators, plagiarizing His beauty and fashioning impoverished
likenesses like unto his handiwork for the rest of eternity? Are we
apprentices in the workshop of the Divine Mysteries who are forbidden
forever to acquire true mastery?”
And Malchjdael, whose voice resonates with the sound of a great arch of
fire exploding from the surface of the sun, replied, “The first light from out
of which creation originates burns so hot that all matter is dissolved in its
flame so only light remains.
“It is consciousness omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and from the
resources it provides all that exists has come to abide. And yet it is neither
outside my creative will nor the magical will that you seek to perfect. It is
indeed found hidden in the depths of every heart. Through example and
prophets God shall reveal to mankind in the fullness of time a Presence that
is sovereign and eternal--that the human race might learn to engage and
embrace its high calling. The destiny of the human race, if it is carefully
sought out, shall shine like the very face of God Himself. The descendants
of your race shall walk among the stars and create new worlds greater in
wonder and beauty than anything that has gone before.
“Come. I will unfold for you this mystery. It is time now to activate your
magical will, for otherwise you would not have journeyed to seek and to
speak with me. Touching upon the mastery of power both natural and
divine, I have no equal within this solar system, neither archangel nor
celestial being other than Divine Providence itself.
“All planets and moons with fire at their core, all planetary auras ionizing
and burning in magnetic fields, the sun itself and all electrical storms, all
spirits as well including those shining with the light of the sun follow the
lead of my will. I maintain and sustain the balance of power throughout the
entire solar system--concerning the physical manifestation of the planets as
well as the ultimate spiritual destiny of developing spirits--all of this falls
under my jurisdiction and authority.
“The will of a mage who trains under the guidance of Divine Providence
is beyond understanding. His will derives and proceeds from the
Unmanifest, the unrevealed, from behind the veils that cannot be pierced by
mortal will.
“And his mind is like a sun itself--it is enlightened. Like a star, it creates
from out of its own visions and shares original joy and love that overflows to
the universe.
“His life is a source of inspiration illuminating whatever world upon
which he chooses to dwell. Animating, reviving, sustaining, renewing--he is
a world teacher in disguise if he so chooses, a silent watcher and guardian
over entire evolutions. Or else, assuming the role of a mortal, he enacts the
pageantry of one who attains universal and cosmic wisdom so that others
might follow his lead and celebrate with him the mystery for which the
universe was created to engage.
“But in physical manifestation, he is also the agent of Divine Providence,
its representative and presence on earth. Burning within with the original
light of creation, within his awareness he is like unto, that is, made after the
fashion of God Himself: comprehending all, embracing all, one with all, he
is a flame burning so intense and bright none may look upon his light in its
fullness and live to tell the tale. Such as these I exist to instruct. For as they
are and are meant to be, so am I now--a servant of the Greater Will.”
It is through dialogues such as this that He’adra came to understand the
gift God gave him. It was not always easy for much of his seeking took
place far away from the light of day that shapes the course of other men’s
actions. Though he spent decades exploring what for others are invisible
and forbidden realms of power and spirit, He’adra remained true to his
calling--he sought knowledge and wisdom only for the sake of serving.
Though I am unable in this tale to describe in detail He'adra's world and
time, as always, I am permitted to share poems that offer a glimpse into
He'adra's and Le'ah'e's souls. In spite of He'adra's incomprehensible powers
of mind, in matters of love I think he was not so different from you or I.
That is to say, he felt happiness, pleasure, and satisfaction and also
loneliness, pain, and isolation just as we do.
He'adra wrote this poem for Le'ah'e a few days after they first met. Never
in his deepest dreams had he imagined a woman could exist who combined
such sensuality and art with spiritual power. And never in his deepest
dreams did he imagine another could love him so that no part of their life,
soul, or essence remained separate and apart.
A Path of Light
Dream images flowing between our minds
Our hearts searching for a higher love,
A path of pure light
But one holding the needs and passions
Of our bodies within it
I feel so naked and lonely
Wrap me about with your love
With your sensual beauty
That I can touch with my hands
As I search for you amid
The hills, ravines, and valleys of your skin
One I can taste with my lips
As I float in lakes and rest in meadows
Hidden within the reaches of sacred mountains
As my mouth burns with ancient hungers
And is soothed by your softness
As you allow yourself to burn
As my lips join with your breasts
One I can smell as I lose myself in your hair
Your arms, your thighs
The aroma of liquor
Flowers of delight within the oasis
Within the gardens where you are the goddess
One I can enter
A moist wetness I can slide down into
And forget my sorrow,
One so caressing, so gentle, so tender
You are willing to bind together the flames
Rising, exploding, and imploding within our desire
The Northern Lights, the stars and moonlight,
Dawn and twilight,
Green leaves, magenta sunsets, the darkest nights,
A sea with a thousand rainbow colors dancing upon it
That all those journeys I took where I lost my way
Will now dissolve
They will be afraid of this love and flee
They will depart from me forever
As I touch your body and your skin
As I touch your soul and the light within
As our hearts reach out and shelter each other’s.
He'adra actually wrote quite a few poems to Le'ah'e. But this poem was the
first. He did not feel it was a very good poem, but it accomplished its
purpose--when Le'ah'e read it, she saw the beauty hidden within He'adra’s
heart and then she offered him her love forever.
But there was a problem as there usually is in this type of story. Le'ah'e
belonged to a great House of Atlantis. She was the daughter of a great and
high noble. He'adra was a complete unknown. He'adra was a mere acolyte
who had barely, just barely, been able to gain entrance into one of the
Mystery schools. The chance of these two lovers sharing a life together was
virtually impossible.
Two years later, Le'ah'e was killed by an assassin's knife. He'adra rushed
to her side and placed his hands upon her body. And then so great was the
force of will He'adra put forth, the Angel of Death himself, he whose aura
shines with radiant black, appeared visibly within the room for all to see.
And then the Angel surrendered his prize, the soul of Le'ah'e, into He'adra's
safe keeping without hesitation or regret.
The Angel of Death then spoke aloud for all to hear, prophesying: “I will
not come again for her nor will I disturb the love the two of you share until
that very day Atlantis itself is destroyed and sinks beneath the waves
forever.” Le'ah'e's relatives and father witnessed the Angel appearance and
they heard his prophecy. They did not question the Angel's words. They
were intelligent enough to recognize that there are some things best left
unchallenged.
And so this miraculous healing was justification enough for even the most
noble house to set aside tradition. Le'ah'e's father declared He'adra a
national treasure having just witnessed a small demonstration of his power.
Le'ah'e's father and relatives willingly and with great delight accepted
He'adra into their clan and family. Even the most recalcitrant, stubborn, and
obstinate are willing to change their minds if the situation and the price are
right. Le'ah'e and He'adra then married with their blessing.
Many years later, He'adra was chosen by the High Council to become the
next High Priest of Atlantis. When He'adra was told of this decision, he
counted the honor and the prestige that went with it as nothing at all. The
information flashed through his mind like some distant sound in the night, a
gust of wind or a single note sung by a bird, which rises up for an instant and
then dissolves again into silence. For He'adra, power was not what he
sought. He never gave it a second thought.
Instead, He'adra went out and sat on his balcony. He thought of the years
of love he had shared with Le'ah'e. As he gazed out upon meadows and hills
lit by a full moon, he wrote this poem:
To My Beloved
When you are in my arms
My wounds are healed
My dreams fulfilled
Our lips touch
Moonlight illuminates your naked skin
I no longer know who I am
The sun glides through the sky
Deer graze in the meadow
I am mesmerized
The present moment fades
The moon sets her sails to the solar wind
My hands glide upon your skin
The sun drowns as we kiss
In the darkness of night and is reborn at dawn
Our hips join
As the stream winds through the crevice of the valleys
Mirth and laughter splashing down
As the sea enfolds the mountains in her depths
The whale's song echoing through the hills
Geese fly across the moon
The leaves of birch trees shiver
A solitary bird sings
Cats' paws ripple upon the lake
The gusts of wind pulsate
Your breasts pressed against my chest
Your love shapes my life
As the hands of the sculptor
Mold the clay,
Closing her eyes
The harpist plays
The notes of the song within her heart.
For many years, He'adra served Atlantis faithfully as the High Priest. The
service of He’adra was recorded in the book called, The Acts of He'adra.
But unfortunately, like many books the Bible refers to in its texts such as
The Acts of Solomon, this book also was lost.
But under He'adra's leadership, He'adra instituted many innovations in
science, technology, education, and government. To say the least, he was
creative and accomplished many things. But toward the end, many priests
began to abuse their power, calling out to celestial beings beyond Earth's
spiritual boundaries. These priests were not as He’adra who sought
communion with high spirits in order to understand his rightful place in
creation.
No, these priests wanted short cuts that would yield quick results. To do
this, they were willing to trade the light within their souls for the power that
darkness holds. Like a loan shark or a criminal organization, demons are
always ready to offer you what you want quickly if you are willing to pay
the price along with interest.
In this intercourse with the dark lords of the planetary spheres, these
magicians violated a universal law--the emotional life of a race must be
nourished within the cradle of the planet where it dwells. A race may not
engorge itself upon fiendish alien delights--fascinations and powers that
exist outside and undermine its own evolutionary cycle.
In particular, many priests of Atlantis called out and evoked one of the
highest negative spirits who dwelt within the planetary sphere of Jupiter.
With the most powerful ritual magic the earth had ever seen, they initiated
many others into their dark schemes.
In Atlantis, orthodox theology and science as well studied and altered
physical matter both through knowledge and through magical arts. But in
pursuing the mastery of matter, they forgot to pursue the enlightenment of
their minds so they would remain free of attachment. Their motivation was
to attain a greater, if not absolute, power.
Genuine Atlantean alchemists perceived how matter is empty of inherent
form and existence. Spiritual consciousness is within everything and has
mastery over everything. And so by training and mechanically amplifying
their concentration they learned they could control and alter the densest
vibrations and structure of matter.
But the magical wills of the Atlanteans were driven by cravings they were
not fully conscious of. And so, as they developed, very high negative
beings could easily draw near sensing the Atlantean mages were calling out
to them and entering their own spheres. The negative beings could then
speak to their desires saying, “Oh, what you want deep down is to control
others--to have great honor and the power to so mesmerize that you feel
joined to all that others are--to feel all the life within their souls dissolve into
your own.”
These mages were guided by beings from a distant evolution who were
more than willing to enable the Atlanteans to enhance their powers of
concentration to an immense degree. They offered the short cuts the mages
desired and many advantages through various forms of alliances. But alas,
blended into this pure virtue of mental power was an emotional craving to
devour. The beauty of the four elements as they exist on earth both in
human beings and in nature was being sucked into a pit that destroys and is
void of giving any life in return. And so Atlantis itself, the entire
civilization, fell under a curse.
Some writers point out that under the Third Reich the Nazis demanded
that all occultists and psychics either join the Nazi party or face
concentration camps. Hitler wanted a complete monopoly on all magic and
spiritual power. The point is that if a society such as that continued for a
period of time in this manner it would not be possible for those seeking
inspiration to find their way.
Even if an individual remained silent and worked alone, once he entered
the inner planes he would have run into insurmountable difficulties. The
astral environment would have been corrupted. Dreams and visions would
not be pure. This effect would have resulted because it was the intention and
the order of the evil magicians to do so--that no one attain freedom or
spiritual wisdom. The power to accomplish this was within their grasp.
This was what was occurring at the end in Atlantis. And this is precisely
the conditions under which the Judges of Saturn step in--when the inner
planes and spiritual resources of a planet are about to be contaminated. In
the case of Atlantis, the damage to the earth would have been permanent if
that civilization had not ended. For this end, to preserve cosmic law and
harmony, there is no recourse or appeal from the judgment of the Saturnian
spirits.
As for the Atlanteans, their rituals and requests for power were unusually
successful. The priests were then able to control the masses of people and
whomever they chose. But the cost for obtaining this power was also great.
Those mages who utilized these practices became infected by the spiritual
vacuum within the spirits that the priests thought were under their own
command.
The priest's feelings, emotions, and inner psyches became twisted,
polluted, and defiled: on a deep level within themselves that they had never
explored, they traded their ability to love for a devouring hatred. The result
was, in net, their wills fell under the control of powers from beyond our
world.
If you had been there to see, you would have seen priests and temples
which, on the outside, were of great splendor, beauty, and wealth. But on
the inside, there was only filth, horror, and a devouring greed beyond all
reason and human comprehension.
And truly if these priests had continued, the Soul of the Earth would have
been wounded forever. She would never have recovered. Mankind's life
would then have been lost in a dark-bluish haze and a cloud of unending
delusion.
Though He'adra saw these events unfolding, he did not have Solomon's
wisdom. Solomon, you recall, was quick to make up his mind and was
decisive in deciding the fate of others. On the first day Solomon sat upon
his father's throne, he executed his older brother who had tried to usurp the
throne and use Solomon's own mother, Bath-Sheba, to undermine Solomon's
authority. And, after giving the enemies of his father a last chance, Solomon
was quick to execute them also, for his father David had warned him to
beware of their treachery.
Solomon was not stupid. He never forgot that his father had murdered in
order to marry his mother, Bath-Sheba. Yet the love was so real that God
made the child of this union--Solomon--the next king of Israel. But the
fabric of love, even when woven from the best threads, can still have selfdeception mixed in.
Solomon did not pass on words of advice to his children, as did his
father--David--to him. And women led Solomon astray, to put aside the
rituals the prophets had revealed to Israel. The question remains to test all
men of power and wisdom as it was stated in the 90th Psalm--Is our
dwelling place in God who exists before the mountains were brought forth
or the earth was formed? Or is our home, the feeling of belonging and
connection, best expressed and celebrated through being held in a woman’s
arms?
Merlin, another great figure of magic who briefly appeared in history,
chose the woman’s arms over God. And Balaam, a great gentile prophet,
never could figure out how to relate to women. He was actually afraid of
them, since their beauty reminded him of the infinite love in God’s heart that
was quietly stalking him.
Though all-powerful, He'adra was not a good judge. He was not an
advocate for divine justice on earth. Like Abraham, to whom God revealed
a dark vision of his posterity held as slaves in Egypt, He’adra did nothing
even though the outcome could be clearly seen in advance.
He’adra did not eliminate the evil that took root in the minds of the three
thousand evil priests. He watched it grow hoping that the forces of good in
the world would rally their strength and uphold the ways of the Light. And
He'adra had many former friends among these dark priests. He'adra spoke
to them many times in detail of the dangers they were courting. But the
addiction of the priests was beyond their own ability to comprehend or
escape.
Still, to satisfy his own questions, late one night as the stars shown eerie
and with unearthly light, He'adra sent his mind to wander out and into the
sphere of Saturn. It is from this realm that the fates of all races and spirits in
our solar system are determined. Here sit the forty-nine Judges and
Executors of fate appointed by Divine Providence to examine and scrutinize
all paths of evolution.
And the Chief Justice of this terrible sphere of judgment appeared to
He'adra as a woman wearing a dark, violet robe. Her eyes shine bright
though their light is black as night. And her face is radiant with divine peace
and grace. But her hands either bind or release all nightmares, horrors, and
evils that enter the earth or any other planet or domain
She turns to He’adra who had appeared before her and she says, “You
know who I am? I am emptiness, darkness, the void, and the abyss--the
places of spirit where matter cannot exist. Though you have attained
understanding and peace far beyond the knowledge of your race, you have
yet to renounce regret, sorrow, and loss. It is a weakness that pervades your
race. Even the wisest among you down through the corridors of time shall
have the greatest difficulty overcoming the loss of love with others and with
God.
“Learn as me--weep not when fate and death take away. Every ending,
separation, farewell, and goodbye is a sacred rite in my eyes. They contain
my blessing and my voice. These are my gifts reminding you of who you
are--that one day you will be without form or limitation. The beauty of the
universe will shine in your hearts and omnipresence will be part of
everyone's art.”
For the record, as He’adra gazed upon this dark, celestial being, he could
perceive with perfect clarity the range of her authority and the nature of her
commission. It is through limitation that those in incarnation learn selfmastery. It is through mastering every aspect of their lives and their
environments that, in the end, they shall attain to perfect, complete, and
absolute freedom. The nightmares and horrific challenges of history exist to
teach us to become enlightened. This was too obvious for He’adra to miss.
With this understanding, then, He'adra put to her his question concerning
the evil being perpetrated in Atlantis and the options that existed to prevent
its spread or to diminish its effects. Needless to say, these two had a long
conversation. I will not bother you with the details, procedures, and the
regulations governing cosmic law, karma, and fate. But the discussion
boiled down to this:
She offered He'adra a position as one of the 49 Judges of Saturn. She said
this was the only way that Atlantis could be saved from total annihilation. If
you want to promote and uphold a high destiny, you have to take on the
same level of responsibility.
It is like this: if a race craves and then creates wisdom as vast as the sky to
illuminate its civilization, then it also must pay the price--they, at least a few
members of this race, even one will do, must know every face of fate. The
mind must mate with emptiness and the void that are the very soul and heart
of perfected enlightenment.
But this He'adra was not willing to do and who on earth could really
blame him? True love, like the rarest flower, still blossoms somewhere
between a few lovers in every century. But love such as He'adra's and
Le'ah'e's only appears a few times in the history of any planetary evolution.
This love was not for sale and He’adra was not about to trade the beauty
in his life for the austere and impossibly pure face of enlightenment. And it
was not within the jurisdiction of the Chief Judge of Saturn or the Angel of
Death to take it away from him or even to question his decisions.
And if you want a more detailed explanation, these were He'adra very
thoughts: Is it right that one man should take possession, to shape and alter
the course of human history? Am I to create a golden age on earth lasting
tens of thousands of years, a civilization in which cosmic wisdom and
science work side by side dedicated to revealing the truth of the universe? Is
all of this to be accomplished based on the foundation of my will alone?
Such burden and responsibility are not the gift I asked God for.
It is only the union of many hearts joined as one celebrating the beauty of
the universe and the Divine Presence that should create and sustain such a
civilization. The time is not right. I will not bind humanity with my will to
a destiny it has not sought, felt, or found within its own heart. This is not
my part.
Cosmic law requires that I not reveal wisdom and power out of proportion
to the maturity of the race in which I incarnate. On this matter, the people of
Atlantis are free to choose their own fate. I will do what I can as counselor,
guide, and as high priest. But let it be love that shapes history, not magical
will, and not my will alone.
Years later, as the tale goes, the dark priests finally realized that their path
of power could not unfold with Le'ah'e and He'adra standing against them.
After considering their options, they chose to destroy their enemies. With
premeditation and careful plans, the priests suddenly struck--all their many
minds and wills simultaneously joined to destroy He'adra and Le'ah'e.
In truth, He'adra had underestimated the power of three thousand minds
joined as one in one deadly hour of spiritual warfare and assault. The
priests, entering into a profound trance, fused their minds guided by great
evil and using the power of crystal balls centered in pyramids. Throughout
Atlantis and even on distant islands throughout the seas of the world their
power was gathered and unleashed.
And in one deadly blow they struck Le'ah'e when she was on the other
side of the continent away from He'adra. They knew that with her death
He'adra would have little will left to live. And so that child of light, she
whose soul could sing the Song of the Universe and at whose dance the
Guardians of the Mysteries did come down and watch and weep at her
beauty, that child of light so bright, Le'ah'e fell down and died.
He'adra, of course, sensed immediately the psychic blow that struck
Le'ah'e. He felt the last breath of life pass from her lips. But within the next
moment, Le'ah'e appeared to He'adra in a “sending”--but in this case, her
spirit manifested not just visibly but in physical form before him in his
room. And Le'ah'e, whose spirit is as enduring as one of the twelve
constellations, spoke to He'adra these words in the form of a poem as if she
had just awakened from having fallen asleep at his side:
You are my Soul
You are my soul.
My first breath in the light of dawn
All my dreams at night I dedicate to you, my Beloved.
As I shove off and depart for unknown shores
Your inspiration guides my craft
Flows with force through my sails.
You are the electricity in my heartbeat
The separate fibers of my being
Unite around my love for you,
The surge, the pulse, the wave
The circle of life within my body
Ride upon my desire to hold you within my heart.
My love for you is as deep as the sky
More vast than the winds
That caress the seas in ecstasy.
Softer in flight
Than the moon's light
My body yields to you
As I spiral and turn
Caught in the currents
Of your smile
As I drift into a sea
Of pure bliss
When I enfold you in my arms.
Desert sands of mountain craters
Russet, crimson, citrine
Parched, dry, burning
Yearn with volcanic craving
Solidified rock
Once flowed molten, liquid
Lit with tongues of flame,
These are but a small reflection
A small reminder
Of the fire with which I burn for your touch.
Reflected in your eyes
I become a purity
Acid cannot etch
Time cannot drown
Space cannot hide.
I am luminous light
The transparency
Shining in all colors
The dreams that yield their visions to me
Of birth, of galaxies colliding,
Of seas turning into wine
These are your gifts to me
When I hold you close to me at night.
Let me go now, my Beloved,
And I shall find you again
In the fullness of time
For there is nothing that exists
Neither power nor abyss
That can separate our hearts from each other.
Le'ah'e vanishes away and this is in accordance with the Angel of Death's
prophecy.
And now the priests turn their minds against He'adra not comprehending
in the least the full might of the man they have challenged. True, the priests
had destroyed He’adra’s will to remain alive. But before He'adra let go of
his life, the Earth, that ancient Soul, appeared to He'adra and said, “Though
your consort is gone and you cannot long resist, for without her you have
lost a major portion of your spirit, yet I still ask of you this: speak now the
word of power--speak it if only for my sake.”
But this was a most grievous request. The Earth was asking He'adra to
destroy Atlantis. For He'adra to fulfill the Goddess's wish, he had to be
joined with his consort. Only together could he and she enter the One Light
from whence Love, Power, and Eternity are joined as One in Bliss.
Without Le'ah'e, should He'adra' speak this word of power, his own
magical equilibrium and authority would be broken and his soul would
wander wounded for untold ages, many millennia in fact, before he would
meet his consort again. Yet even looking ahead into a dark future without
his beloved, more even than Le'ah'e, he loved the Earth.
And let it now be clearly stated for the record wherever this poem is sung,
be it here in time or somewhere down the diamond light corridors of
eternity. Let these words shine: Among a hundred billion worlds and a
hundred billion stars that shine upon them, the Earth is the most beautiful
planet.
And if you can feel this in your heart, you will understand why He'adra
did what he must. He'adra could not let the Earth be defiled because of the
lust of a small group that dwelt there at the beginning of time, long before
what we call recorded history. And so he accepted his fate and took full
responsibility for the consequences of his actions.
But for you the reader here in a much later age, this thread is certainly
pure nonsense. Yet I would point out that similar songs are still sung on the
earth. Consider the Mahabarata, the song of the Avatar Krishna who did
attempt with his friend Arjuna to preserve light on the earth. In that song of
the tradition of the Vedas and the Hindu religion, the god Shiva, the Lord of
Destruction, met Arjuna in the Himalayan Mountains.
And Shiva said to Arjuna (who, though mortal, was also the son of Indra,
king of the gods) “Ask me a favor, whatever you wish.” Shiva was pleased
with how Arjuna had sought him out.
Arjuna replied, “What I wish for is a weapon of absolute power that you
possess.”
And Shiva said, “Pashupata--it can destroy the world. The mention of its
name shakes the mountains to their roots and the seas, the winds, the trees,
even the whole earth is distraught at the thought.
“It is by your eye, your bow, your voice, your thoughts alone are enough
to release this destruction. This weapon has no mercy and no limitation has
been placed upon it. Accept it and you can never set it aside or give it
back.”
And Arjuna replied, “I accept this weapon.”
And according to the Mahabarata, Arjuna received Pashupata. His father
Indra trained him in how to use it and with it he accomplished his destiny.
And of the word of power possessed by He'adra a great seer has said that
it embodies the very power of God but if abused it turns upon and destroys
the one who would abuse it.
And further, if your beliefs be more orthodox, recall my story of Balaam:
the Bible hints at a similar thing. It is well known that Balaam, whom
Rabbis' call a gentile prophet, had the power through enchantments to call
upon God. Balaam could freely enter His Presence at will with greater ease
than could Moses. And Balaam's gift was such that he could easily overturn
the fate of nations--and for doing just that he had great renown among many
kings--this is precisely what the scriptures state.
And also God in his judgment announced through his angels and then
though Lot that the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah would be destroyed
utterly. And at that time human beings who later witnessed the destruction
had tried to negotiate with God to alter this fate. At that time, clemency was
offered if the people of Sodom and Gomorrah would listen to God's voice
when it was spoken by Lot.
And before Sodom and Gomorrah, you recall the story of Noah. You get
my drift--we have racial memories of cataclysms and apocalypses. But the
common element is that destruction was preceded by a people who had
silenced the voice of their conscience as had the Atlantean magicians
Yet it was the word of power of which the seer has spoken that He'adra
had at his disposal. Love had long ago led He'adra to the heart of the
mysteries. And after all, what is this story but a story of a man who found
the image and Presence of God within himself and so was prepared to evoke
the Spoken Word through the power of his voice.
Therefore, in response to the request of the Earth, He'adra emptied
himself beyond all human form. He expanded his mind beyond the
boundaries of the world with a will unknown to mankind. He reached out
with his mind through space and its uncharted shores.
How else can I speak of this but to say, his lips parted. He spoke the first
of three letters forming that mighty and frightful word of power, a word
even the Archangels are forever forbidden to speak.
The first letter wrapped within the sound of “J” with its colors of opal-dark violent, red, blue, and green--those colors did swirl and whirl out from
the earth--that sound no spirit or being can resist--it is the very voice of Love
that binds the universe and all within it.
And when that sound was spoken, celestial beings from all spheres in our
solar system paused, (Archangel and Archdemon, Lords of Light and of
Darkness, of Judgment and of Mercy, even the Guardians of evolution and
of the Mysteries). They turned their faces toward the third planet from the
sun and to the continent of Atlantis. They turned toward and found this
man, he who spoke with the power and the authority of the One.
For an instant their wills were bound by that voice that echoed, rising up
from the core of their own being. And what followed was this: hurled and
caught by a cosmic power of concentration, like the swirling tides of a
cosmic whirlpool in a cosmic sea, their voices joined into one
incomprehensible and fiery song, condensing down and down to appear in
that room.
And for another few seconds, as they presented themselves right there
before He'adra, they waited as if to say in an unearthly calm, in an eerie,
quiet, and childlike way:
For what purpose are we called?
No point in saying what it would have been like to have been there. No
human being could have stood--but let us just say this: the joining of the
universe in that moment was very deep and very complete.
And He'adra's lips sounded again and spoke a second letter of that word of
power: “CH” with its color of dark violent lit up with silvery sparks. “CH”
is the letter which grants the power to give or to take life. It is that sound
within whose palms are held all the lunar mysteries. It enfolds the very
essence and being of all things that are called to appear and disappear in the
unfolding of time. But in this case, it was as if the entire moon's
gravitational field had been gathered and placed upon Atlantis, upon her
chest, to weigh her down.
And in that instant, the host of spirits saw clearly their task, (Though as I
write this and every time I reread it, I can barely see through my tears): Take
Atlantis, take her marble buildings with their lapis and golden crowns, take
her hills and her valleys, take her mountains and her meadows, take her with
all her splendor and with all her mysteries, take all of her, take her and pull
her down beneath the waves and into the depths.
And then he spoke the third sound of that word of power, it left his lips--
the Letter “W” with its lilac color and its power over water. This is the
power to hold, to bind, to confuse or to lose, which was in this case, the
power to conceal.
And with that, the waters and oceans were commanded to hold Atlantis
and enfold her, sealing her away in a secret place that would not be found
until the dream of Atlantis is again ready to be revealed--until there are
enough hearts on earth that call out for the beauty that shines with the light
of the mysteries.
And having spoken that word of three letters, the likes of which has never
been heard or spoken by a mortal from the end of the last ice age until this
very day, the High Priest surrendered his body that fell to the floor. But that
noble spirit walked out of the room on a pathway of pure light and departed
for the last time from the shores of Atlantis. He traveled alone, forlorn, at
the beginning of a long journey into darkness both his and our own.
But in the next moment the earth did rock, the ocean boil, the air burn,
and the mountains fall. And when the three thousand priests and magicians
heard the lightning’s' thunder, the air raging, and the splitting asunder of the
earthquake, they knew they had made a mistake--they had crossed swords
with the wrong man--but now it is too late.
And in one day as the ancient Greeks and Egyptians have told:
Fair, fair,
Beautiful beyond compare,
Wondrous land,
Oh place of beauty where the gods did walk—
Their footsteps echoing throughout the hills,
Oh fair Atlantis,
Land of dream and happiness,
How you have now fallen,
Fallen down
Beneath the waves and the sea,
Forever gone.
(But some say a sliver of Atlantis still remains, a place “adrift in a sea of
motionless time”--and you can visit there. It is on the map and its location?
It is that wondrous and mysterious Isle of Iona off Scotland.)
And so the keys to the Mysteries were taken back by the Guardians to the
Other Side. The gates were closed. Silence again rules the world where
once wisdom flowed; mankind is left on its own, for millennia, to follow a
hard road. And this tough lesson still remains for all races upon our world to
fathom--that knowledge, power, and wisdom are the eternal servants (and
only dim reflections) of the Mystery of Love.
And so it is better that the symbols in religions remain empty and devoid
of the knowledge of the Mysteries so that those who are malicious are
unable to gain control over others’ souls. Priests and political leaders may
be zealous and ravenous, at times, to devour and to control, but their
knowledge will not be guided by the understanding that has mastered the
primordial powers.
And so, if in the mysteries of priests they speak of the sacred space of the
heart, in truth, this space they know not. Such priests, even in our own time,
are dimly aware of how the powers of the spirit were once terribly abused.
Understandably, they are left feeling cold and afraid, to say the very least,
with the thought of entering and participating in the Divine Workshop.
The minister shivers at night if he even dreams of creating in a Divine
manner. The contemplative monk in his monastic retreat knows that demons
will awake and come seeking him again if he tries to understand what has
been so long forbidden. The monk is thankful for his spiritual ignorance.
And the evangelist too knows better than to try to remove the thorn from his
side--to comprehend the darkness within the soul is more of a quest than any
evangelist will ever accept, that is, in this world where we dwell.
For this reason, the minister, the evangelist, the Rabbi, and the priest alike
willingly and zealously emphasize that religion is about belief and moral
action in the outer world. Religion, for them, has little if anything to do with
experiences in which man encounters the Divine first hand.
And so the Word chooses, according to the actions of men, to celebrate its
Mystery in Silence and emptiness; and, as always, it does this not to hide or
to deceive. Rather, it continues to speak in every breath and in every
moment as a still, quiet voice in the center of our hearts.
But for those who would follow the paths of the heart, time is irrelevant
and all boundaries exist to be crossed. And so this tale of Atlantis speaks to
our time. What is lost, even if it exists only in legend, is still waiting to
awake within us. And so, this story told, the darkness departs from my soul.
(But now, again, I awake in the middle of the night. I ask myself this,
Why do I still cry tears at midnight and morning light for a lost land of
legend and dream I have never even seen?)
But this story, a legend of which no one can speak with any real evidence,
does not end here in indescribable sadness and loneliness. There is still a
final scene and a final act. To this end, I offer a prayer.
For the word of power He'adra spoke must be balanced by a second word
if the Earth is to be healed--a word so strong its wings will enfold the planet
in love.
(And some say this second Word has already taken shape here on earth
and has dwelt among us--be that as it may). The word that heals the Earth
and not just our souls must be spoken by many together--this is a joint task
and endeavor. No one, no matter how great, can accomplish this task alone.
And yet that this global work may have a new beginning, my prayer is this:
Let He'adra and Le'ah'e, wherever they are, find each other again. May
their souls be healed. Let them be joined as one that the One Light may
again shine throughout the world--that the mysteries might be taught openly
here on earth and men and women realize the power their love conceals.
I realize that you, my readers, may think this prayer rather odd if not
absurd. But I tell you the Earth Herself is listening in this moment to my
poem to see if it will make a difference--She greets me in the dead of night
within an abyss of silence where I sometimes wander. She says, “I await
that day when these two lovers [Le'ah'e and He'adra] will find each other
again so I can hear them sing such songs as have never been sung on this
planet before.”)
And one last thought on Atlantis. That word of power composed of these
three cosmic letters--J, CH, and W. Do not to be put off by that power and
the shape of horror it took. And do not dismiss it as just fantastic poetic
ramblings. Consider again these letters:
J: When you see opal, the color of the letter J or any combination of the
colors: red--passion and fiery light; blue--the illuminated circle of the sky
above; green--forest green with its mysteries of groves and the words
whispered by trees; and violet--of flowers and the release in twilight,
remember not this sound that bound the spirits to gather as one, to crush and
destroy.
Think instead of the One Light which binds all within the universe by the
Law of Love--that we are not separate, not you nor I, but, being held within
the heart of the Mystery, we are joined as one.
CH: And when you see dark violet lit with silvery sparks of CH or of
moonlight falling upon water, think not of that word that ordered Atlantis to
fall into the sea nor think that the moon is a cold mistress who throws us into
incarnations randomly or cruelly, or that she steals our mental clarity with
her dreams and fascinations.
Think rather that the moon calls to us, inevitably, unmistakable, to set sail
upon shoreless and chartless oceans. Yet always we are guided by her light.
She reminds us even as we dream and in her changing presence in the sky
each night that we, like her, are crossing over a celestial stream. Let us
remember her treasures of serenity and the inexhaustible love at the core of
our being--for this wealth is more precious than all else for those who seek.
W: And when you see lilac painted on the sky at dawn or sunset, do not
think of Atlantis as a legend that is buried and dead beneath the sea or else
an unproven fabrication of imagination. Think rather in your heart of this
dream: of a world in which the scientist, priest, poet, healer, musician, and
the leaders of nations know well each other's hearts. Think of a world
children are taught openly and walk hand in hand with the Mysteries. For
truly, this dream of a land of beauty longs to rise from beneath the waves
and from within our hearts again--it is one of the dreams of the Earth.
He'adra's Vow
I finished, or so I thought, with this story of Atlantis. But as with any tale of
this magnitude, there is always more. Ten thousand books have already
been written about the legends of Camelot. I suspect, in the course of time,
as many or more will be written about Atlantis.
And so one night, having already erased some of the barriers of memory
which block the recall of Atlantis, I slipped, as in a dream, directly into
He'adra's heart that day Atlantis fell.
And I saw that even as He'adra had the skill to reach out with his mind
and embrace an entire solar system, to hold the attention of every spirit, so
too did he have a heart that could enfold within itself every soul within his
civilization.
And in He'adra's heart, I could feel the hearts of all those people as if I
was there with him. Even as they died in that cataclysm, I perceived how
He'adra saw every heart as a star standing by itself and shining eternally
though now wrapped in darkness.
Therefore this is strange but true, (something I had missed in the first
telling of this tale): He'adra had made a vow by the power of love
(something greater than any word of power).
And these words of love were offered long ago, when, as a being of light,
he watched the destruction of a continent and when he also beheld the death
of its people. And what I felt in He'adra's heart was this--He'adra's loss and
sorrow--the power of his feelings, like a spirit, had entered our time seeking
another heart unafraid to feel its pain.
And so I heard He'adra clearly say to all those many people of Atlantis, as
if by the power of his voice he could not only bind spirits but also bind time
and space, so deep was his love:
I will find you again,
And in another place and in a better world
We will dream the dream of Atlantis together
With a greater will and a greater love.
Interlude
After a week of listening to stories each night from the wizard, Jerrod is
surprised this time when he opens the door to the tower. Sitting in the
wizard’s chair is the woman he met on the hillside. Jerrod asks, “Where is
the wizard?”
The woman replies, “He’ll be back later tonight. I am surprised and also
pleased that he has told you so many stories. Sometimes he and I will sit
outside gazing at the stars. Hours pass by and not a word is spoken. But
with you, he speaks on and on day after day. It is amazing.”
“You must have stories of your own to tell,” Jerrod says with a warm
smile.
The woman laughs. “You want me to tell you about the wizard, don’t
you?”
Jerrod nods.
“I sometimes imagine that the wizard is part of a myth, but I am not sure
which one. He seems to belong more to the ancient world than to our time.
I have a story about him though don’t ask me who made it up. The story is
called Orion and it goes like this.”
Orion
With their legs dangling in a pool on Mt. Olympus just outside the visible
light spectrum and with an occasional splash to emphasize a point,
Aphrodite, Athena, and Diana sit arguing about whose power is the greatest.
You ask, “Didn't this discussion occur about three thousand years ago in
ancient Greece?” Ah yes. But at that time, it was Hera instead of Diana and
the argument was over who was the most beautiful.
As you recall, the three goddesses bound themselves to arbitration relying
on a mortal, Paris, to decide the issue. Each goddesses offered Paris a gift to
choose her as beauty personified. Aphrodite won out. She bribed Paris by
offering him the most beautiful woman on earth. The result was the Trojan
War which Homer recounts in the Iliad.
Great poets such as Homer appear once or twice every thousand years.
The cycle renews itself and the ground is now fertile for another voice, one
more powerful than all others before. After all, the goddesses are bored with
war. These days they think of themselves as the mistresses of human
passion, that is to say, of our character, fate, and destiny.
That's right, even goddesses can fall victim to human reason and mortal
philosophy--it happened one day around that pool in the sky as they sat
reading from the Great Books collection written by human beings. After
having enough of Sophocles and Ovid, they began to read what Carl Jung
had written about each of them. Beware. When vanity and reason collide,
vanity has the advantage.
But there is one other Presence here and the three goddesses are not aware
of Her. She is the Goddess of the Earth. And She also grants a gift of
passion after Her own heart to the one whom the three goddesses would
torment, tease, and confuse to settle their dispute. Let's listen in now on a
recording I made of the conversation.
Aphrodite: I say let us turn again to a mortal to determine who is more
powerful.
Athena: That did not work last time. Mortals are whimsical and their
desires rule over them. Their judgment is worthless in my opinion.
Diana: Yes, but there is an option. This time, instead of choosing a mortal
among the living, let us create a mortal after our own image.
Athena: You mean a woman with three distinct personalities or with three
separate sources of inspiration like unto the Wiccans with their threefold
goddesses?
Diana: No. It has to be a man and our powers will dwell within him as
three separate passions.
Aphrodite: I begin to see your plan. No external gift to bribe him. His
choice will be based on his own instincts. His body and soul will be the
battleground this time around.
Diana: In this way, we shall see which passion is dominant. By his choice
and the way his life unfolds, we shall know beyond all doubt whose
inspiration has the greater clout.
The three goddesses bargained and strategically designed every facet of
his incarnation. After a long period of negotiation, after inspecting every
detail of their creation, they finally gazed upon a human being born in
modern times. But this was all preliminary. Now the time has come for the
three to slip inside this man's soul their individual ecstasies--the essence of
their inspiration.
Aphrodite, with a smile of guile as sweet as Spring, Beltane, heartbreak,
and desire, leaned over him as he slept. She planted a kiss upon his lips.
What poet has metaphors for this?
In that touch was lust as intoxicating as the DNA molecule's craving to
divide and to reunite, tinged with an endless hunger for gratification--amid a
sea of bliss suddenly the terror of whirling toward birth, the pain of gasping
for the first breath, and the warm comfort of arms, chest, and breasts.
Aphrodite was waging that the needs of the organism for satisfaction are
power enough to define and to bind the essence of love, the source of all
inspiration.
Aphrodite then spoke: I have made him a Satyr. Lust shall rise like lava
spewing from a cinder cone. It shall flow molten and hot through his body
like the fire in a lava tube. His desire shall teach him that only I can satisfy.
Athena: Not so. My light shall chart his course in life.
Athena then placed her hand on his forehead and spoke: By the power of
wisdom burning eternal and bright, without beginning or end, this quest shall
determine the path of his life, this ideal shall he make real--the highest love
permitted to mortals shall he reveal. He shall be not a Satyr but a centaur as
wise as Chiron who gave his life that a god, Prometheus, might attain
freedom. Heart to heart, soul to soul--my blessing and wisdom shall he
know.
At this point, you might wonder what is left to our huntress, Diana. What
sensuality, touch, or words could she speak that would weigh the scales to
the end she seeks? Well, let us listen in as she speaks.
Diana: I pity you two. You Aphrodite are so vain to imagine that lust can
substitute for trust, that primal desire is the source of the heart’s fire. And
you Athena envision dreams so noble and refined that men must sacrifice
joy and the need to hold, caress, and touch in order to pass from mortal to
divine.
Then Diana place both her hands upon his heart and said: I place within
you my wild purity more hungry than lust and more necessary than any
vision quest. The forests shall you know. The trees will share with you their
dreams and the secrets of their souls. But this is not all.
The light of the moon and also its darkness ebb and flow through your
soul. The tides, the songs of the seas, and the turning of the seasons will
confide in you their mysteries. You shall partake of the highest dreams and
yet as flesh to flesh express my love--wild, pure, and free, for I take
satisfaction in the hunt and also the flesh of game I claim.
In the end after a lifetime of wandering, you shall be neither satyr nor
centaur but like unto Orion in the sky above transformed from mortality into
immortality by virtue of your honor and your nobility.
As if this is not enough contrary passions to rage for domination in one
soul, as I mentioned, the Goddess of the Earth appeared after the other three
had gone. She touched him also. She sang to him.
And then She spoke and said, “Earth, air, fire, and water shall you know-you will taste and partake of their essence that you might dream my dreams
like no other before--you shall know my innermost desires.
“But before you can wield this power, before you can champion my
cause, you must know my silence as old as the world and my tenderness that
nourishes all life on earth. The needs of the body you shall gratify in due
season. The ideals of the spirit shall you cherish and pursue. And the wild
purity of forest and ocean this too shall be within you. But in the end your
Muse will guide you and the Song of the Universe you shall sing, for My
beauty is upon you. I have spoken it. It shall be so
When the woman was done with her story, Jerrod asks, “What about you?
You have been so willing to answer my questions. Will you tell me about
yourself?”
“Oh, there is not much to my life,” she replies. “I am no different than any
other woman though I am aware of my powers in ways that most women are
not.
“My power as a woman to enchant, to bind, or hold is not difficult for
women to understand though men can barely imagine it. The greater spirit
that dwells in me I have claimed and made my own. Listen with your heart
to what I say and do not be confused by my words.”
And then, speaking with a slightly deeper voice that carries a cadence and
rhythm Jerrod cannot imagine a woman possessing, she says, “I am the
silence hidden in this hillside with its enduring patience that waits through
all the seasons of the year without irritation or complaint. Above, the sun,
moon, and stars dazzle the world with their illumination of lights, but I dwell
within the places of the heart others do not know. I am the place where
memory fades away. I am the place where the hero falls asleep in his
dreams and forgets who he is.
“To walk beside me is to stray beyond the boundaries of the world into
the unknown--I am the place where identity dissolves and fear or its absence
no longer matters at all. The woman sewing the button on your shirt--her
fingers know of this place. The woman who smiles at you tenderly and then
turns away and gazes off into the sky--she draws her strength from my
magic.
“Humility is not empty enough to enter here and survive, nor will, nor
strength of character, nor faith. If you would ever embrace my heart and
soul, understand this: all of life is sacred, the entire round--both life and
death. Greet each moment with the silence of a mountain and with the cool
touch of the dark stream flowing beneath the ground--in secret caverns it
moves without being known and yet it flows free and pure though light
never tastes its life.
“Understand young man--it is just as sacred to close the gates to wisdom
as it is to open them. Those who would master the inner and outer worlds
and teach what they know must dwell at peace within my heart and soul.
“The saints who seek God pursue the masculine mysteries. They imitate
the sun above that rages with furious light and endless celebrations of joy.
But I embody the other, more hidden, feminine mysteries--infinite space,
pure emptiness free of all expectation and need. This is the womb that
contains all the stars, constellations, and galaxies. In my spirit, I hold them,
nourish them, and give birth to them.
“What only the greatest saints have ever known is that those who would
reveal the ancient mysteries must be as empty as the space of darkness
between the stars. Only in such emptiness may the light shine forth
unobstructed, pure, and clear.
“When the moon is dark, the stars shine more brightly. For those able to
dwell in peace in this open space of the heart and of the universe, there is no
separation between life and death or between one lifetime and another. Here
even light and darkness are joined together as one flesh, one breath, and one
rhythmic heartbeat.
“In this place does the human heart finally become one with the innermost
desires within the heart of the Earth. Here is disclosed Her power to endure,
to remain silent, and yet to sustain all manner of life. Her love is within
every flower, every tree, and every dream of every being on earth.
“After the destruction of Atlantis, the keys to the Mysteries were taken
back to the Other Side. When in our own age of the world men such as
Merlin tried to reveal the sacred powers of creation, to teach mankind of
their knowledge, women like me were assigned the task to constrain and to
bind them. I entered the world for this purpose--to prevent the sacred
knowledge from being taught to mankind. There are gifts that are too
wonderful for the human race to embrace.”
Her eyes fill with fire. She changes the tone of her voice to that of a dark
enchantress, of a woman who craves power and who will sacrifice all to
acquire it. She goes on, “I met the wizard in his darkest place when all hope
was gone. There I offered him my love and my comfort when all others had
abandoned him. He passed the test. Even I could not ensnare him.”
Smiling and speaking in a friendly and casual manner, she says,
“Naturally, I became his student--he is generous and kind--though he has
learned a few things from me over the years. But do not worry. I am not
here to test you.” She laughs and says, “There are women enough in your
life who use their beauty to enchant you and their will to bind you.”
“Just remember, what I say is still true--sometimes it is better not to know
than to acquire a knowledge that destroys you and those you love. The
greatest powers can only be controlled by those who have no desire to own
them much less abuse them.”
“Would you be willing to show me how you gaze at the stars in silence
with the wizard?”
“Sure, come on,” she replies getting up out of the chair and walking
toward the door.
A few hours later, Jerrod says to the woman, “The stars are so beautiful,
yet so distant and cold. It is hard to imagine how those who love them can
endure the solitude.”
The woman replies, “Yes, I know what you mean. That reminds me of a
story the wizard once told my son.”
The Wind Elves
“Long ago in Ireland, there lived a farmer named Sean McDermott. Late
one night when Sean came home, he found his son David sitting outside the
house.
“What have we here?” asked Sean.
“I can’t sleep,” said David.
“How come?” asked Sean.
“The wind is rattling the house,” said David.
“So it is,” said Sean. “Why don’t we make up a story about the wind so it
feels more friendly.”
“How do we do that?” asked David.
“Let’s imagine that elves control the different winds,” replied Sean.
“What kinds of elves are there?” asked David.
“There are five kinds. First are the bright elves,” Sean said. “They are
noble and heroic. They invented chivalry and honor. And for those they
favor, the wind always blows steady.”
“Are there also forest elves?” asked David.
“Yes,” said Sean. “They are called tree elves. They like peace and keep
to themselves. They plant trees in circles and hear others’ thoughts as clear
as a bell. The wind is gentle and caresses the leaves peacefully when the
tree elves pass through a forest.”
“Perhaps I have seen tree elves,” said David. “When no one is looking,
they dress up in silver and violet. Then when the moon rises they call out:
‘The coast is clear. Come out, come out, and dance all night as the stars
circle above us.’”
Sean says, “Ah yes, but you know there are also dark elves. They can
only be seen on moonless nights. They are fond of confusion, thickets, and
ensnaring brush. They try to make you forget where you have left your
possessions so they can steal them after you are gone.
“Dark elves like to tie the wind in knots. You can see their handiwork
when leaves lift off the ground and whirl about or the wind shifts directions
back and forth.”
“What about the wind that blows during a storm?” asked David.
Sean replied, “Storm winds are controlled by gray elves. Riding great
warhorses upon gusts of wind, they gallop in front of a storm.”
“Look! That must be a band of gray elves leaving the forest now,” cried
David. “You can tell where they are riding by the shaking leaves and the
swaying branches.
“That’s the elfin leader in front. He is famous for tearing pieces of
laundry off mom’s clothesline with his lance. The elf behind him with the
huge hammer likes to hit doors left unlatched, slamming them shut with a
bang. And the third elf with the bow is a great archer. He shoots your hat
off so fast it flies from your head before you can catch it with your hands.”
“You have sharp eyes my boy,” said Sean. “Quite different from wind
elves are the blessed elves. They are skilled in making wine, love potions,
and magical charms. They invented harps and tin whistles. And they dance
on water when the wind ripples across a lake in cat’s paws.”
“Are there any other elves?” asked David. “You aren’t holding
something back from me, are you?”
“The last kind, though I hesitate to speak of them, is very mysterious,”
Sean went on. “They are called fire elves. They sometimes disguise
themselves as human beings so they can move among us in order to recite
their poetry and sing their songs. But actually they are great warriors.”
“Warriors?” asked David. “Do they fight like the gray elves, attacking
laundry, slamming doors, and shooting off hats?”
“No,” answered Sean. “They are the only ones strong enough to destroy
the darkness in the human heart. They pay a price, however, for such magic.
Though they see the inner light shining in all things, their paths are solitary.
I don’t know a single fire elf who hasn’t died of loneliness at least once or
twice during his journeys.”
“But why are they elves?” asked David. “They sound like human beings?”
Sean replied, “No one is sure who or what they are. They travel freely
through both the human and the elfvin worlds.”
“How can you tell if someone is a fire elf?” asked David.
Sean answered, “Their eyes shine with the light of dawn and their voices
sound like thunder and the laughter of waves splashing on the shores of
unknown seas.”
“But what do they have to do with fire?” asked David.
“Their courage is forged from fire and they destroy all fear,” replied Sean.
“What winds do they control?” asked David.
“The cold winds of winter and the first warm breezes of spring,” replied
Sean.
“Tell me,” David said, “How do they survive winter without love and
what secrets do they know that their voices can call Spring to awaken from
out of the cold?”
Sean replied, “The Goddess of the Earth is their guide. They follow
unknown paths of beauty to walk by Her side.”
“I would like to meet a fire elf some day,” David said yawning as he fell
asleep in his father’s arms.
Recorded History
Jacob's Angel
Grasping a better hold as he wrestled with the angel,
Balanced, poised, muscles flexed, teeth clenched,
Jacob spoke, his jaw next to the angel's ear:
What is it to dwell in a body made of divine fire
Its very radiance so penetrating
The mountains and seas are transparent
And the stars are no more distant from you
Than my hands upon your skin in this moment?
And what is it to have eyes that see through the ages
The gates of all realms stand open before your gaze
So nothing is hidden anywhere in creation?
What is it to have hands so luminous
The Divine turns to you to accomplish its will?
And tell me, when you love,
What is it like to love when your love
Arises from a sea of infinite bliss
So every abyss is filled
And darkness is forever banished from your vision?
And the angel replied:
I will share with you my essence
If you can sustain this hold upon me
And bind me without fear
For I am not permitted to keep even one secret
From those who master themselves.
I am the perfection of concentration so great
The elements of nature obey when I speak
Earth, air, water, and fire respond to my will
My every desire to fulfill.
You may think such power beyond belief or imagination
But I do not act in isolation
As one wanting to make himself great
To demonstrate his power over fate.
When I meditate I am embraced
By countless beings of love and might
Who guard and guide all paths of wisdom and all evolutions.
With both mortal and divine I join my heart and mind.
I unite with all who celebrate the Light
Embracing all of creation.
And in our celebration
Our joy is so great
There is no longer any separation
Between the Light we embrace and the love within our hearts.
You may think only an angel may speak thus
But I tell you with words of prophecy
And with a voice of thunder and a tongue of divine fire,
If you strive and abide with me through all watches of this night
Until dawn's first light
You shall discover that I, with all my power,
Am but a small part of your own heart.
Jacob said: You speak of a mystery beyond the power of belief.
It is more than what I seek.
Oh Jacob, the angel said,
The seed that dreams of spring
Sleeping in silence beneath the earth
Knows not that spring is already within its heart
As is the soil, the wind, the rain, the earth
And the star that calls out: Arise and come forth.
But form and limitation have been created
That the seed in growing into a tree
Might one day understand its journey.
And as water, minerals, light, and air
Revive and renew its being
It shall perceive when the time is ripe
That life has no end
And that form is but the shell where spirit dwells.
Then it shall send its roots down into eternity
And release upon the wind seeds
Giving birth to new worlds, new dreams, new destinies.
The soul unfolds, blossoming in due season,
Until its beauty shines so bright
Its light transforms the world.
Jacob, behold! I hold in my hands
The twelve fruits of the Tree of Life
That are for the healing of the nations.
Take them from me if you can!
Then Jacob put forth all his might
With a mind like steel
And a will as sharp as a diamond knife
To pierce the heart of the angel
And to steal what has been concealed from mankind for ages.
And, for a moment, Jacob accomplished his goal:
Jacob's eyes became the angel's, his hands bright like the sun,
Their hearts merged and with the angel's body he was one.
Then Jacob saw what the angel's light
Was created both to conceal and to reveal:
A love of such magnitude
The entire multitude of heavenly choirs falter and fail
Their voice silenced before its magnificence.
Then Jacob asked, is there a human being in all the world
Who has the strength, the power, or the heart to persist
In a vision such as this, to bring a small part
Back to the earth that it might be shared
And celebrated forever by those who love?
And angel replied,
If this is your wish I shall grant it
For now the sun is about to come
And eternity commands me: Return home.
And then the angel spoke with a voice of song and thunder
Resonate and tender like Gabriel's
Yet vibrant and mighty like Michael's
Saying, The history of the world
Shall revolve around your will.
Nations shall rise and fall in this quest.
Though some would twist and bend it to their own ends
Those who read the signs shall find a pathway to the divine
As you have found mine.
Prophets shall now appear upon the earth
For a thousand years to satisfy what you demand.
Then Jacob said, Wait! One last request before you go,
One last question still burns within my soul:
You who are everywhere and from whom nothing is hidden,
Your voice a billion stars shouting with delight,
Will you wrestle with me again another night?
The angel gazed into Jacob's eyes and then replied,
Within you is the answer to your own question.
As I have said, I am but a small part of your own heart.
Moses
And God spoke and said to Moses who was His friend, “You have brought
my people out of Egypt as I have requested. You have freed those who were
held as slaves in bondage. This I have asked you to do because one of my
names is Liberation. I do not make men and women into slaves. I offer
freedom.
But there is no point in your using My powers and the agency of my
angelic hierarchy to liberate unless you also offer the knowledge of Me--for
I inspire the desire for freedom.
Therefore, Build me a tabernacle in space and time
That My Presence might be known and celebrated by mankind,
For I would hold nothing back
But would reveal all That I AM.
Make gates in the four directions
Where men and women might enter and leave
The first to the North
The path leading through the element of earth
Here the Mystery of Silence shall shine forth--
There is nothing hidden nor concealed
That is not revealed
To those who seek
The darkness beneath the stone
The silence beneath the mountain
I reside in both
The most distant reaches of outer space
Shall such hearts easily embrace
For every heart silent and still enough to hear My Voice
All the stars and angels shall rejoice.
And Moses, having struck a stone to yield a stream
Having climbed Mt. Sinai alone
Having spent a lifetime in the desert,
Moses replied-Though I have heard Your Voice in the burning bush
And in the pillar of flame
Even I have trouble finding this Silence within my heart
Then God said:
Though the children of Jacob shall be as the sands of the sea
Even as we speak in this moment
There are others who come forth and taste My Mysteries
I give you the Earth
She, with Her Infinite Beauty,
Shall teach Her children to listen
I have placed My dreams within her heart
Those who search out Her secrets
Shall be reborn as Spirit
Then they shall see through the eyes of the stars.
Then God said:
Build the second gate to the South
Here the element of fire which does rage and roar
The Mystery of Will I shall reveal
Imploding and exploding at the star's core
The light at dawn, the moon's reflection, the fire of the hearth
For from fire comes light
From light comes will
With power enough any destiny to fulfill
For in both the raindrop and the tear
The rainbow and the broken heart
The candle and the star
The spectrum of My desire shines forth
Beauty shall entwine equally
Suffering and love
Separation and reunion
Death and rebirth.
And Moses said:
When I came down from Mt. Sinai
From my face
Your Light did shine
Still, I have never dreamed of a will
Forged in the heart of stars
Or even in the volcano's fiery caldera
And God replied:
Each moment of life contains an abyss
The same that separates one heart from another
Sing into being a path of Light
Cross over
For where two complete this journey
There My Heart appears
And there My Voice sings
For My Mystery can only be encompassed by your will
Through an Act of Creation.
God said next:
Build the third gate to the West
This gate shall open to the Mystery of Water
Let those who Dare enter here
This is where empathy equally
Sees the world as it is
And as it can be in a dream
Those willing to risk all to find what they seek
As the Lover seeks his Beloved
They shall be as fountains
Overflowing with streams of living water
Their hearts shall contain Eternity
That sea which has no shores
Whose winds are bliss
Whose waves are ecstasy
And in whose depths are Divine dreams and visions
And Moses said:
Across the reaches of the desert
Across the waves of rolling sand
Is found an occasional oasis
The waters that flow through the soul
Often turn bitter or dry up
Love is so rare and precious men die for its touch
How can you ask for so much?
Is there no end to Your Divine Yearning?
Would You make the entire planet into a school for prophets and seers?
And God replied:
Every breath is a path of Love
Every tear, drop of blood, every raindrop
Proclaims this secret: the path leading between opposites
In each moment My Love is everywhere
Sustaining the universe
And everything within it
Dare to enter here!
And God said:
Build the fourth gate to the East
The element of Air and the winds shall walk there
And here the sky so clear
The mind luminous
To Know Who I AM
That the universe is My Craft
To know the Notes with which My Voice Sings
To enter My Divine Workshop
To train in My Arts
Knowledge such as this have I hidden
In the winds and within your breath
Which flow through your blood and every cell of your body
And Moses replied:
I have sought to guide
Your people in the paths of righteousness
To teach them to honor what is sacred and holy
Yet even if I were to command the hurricane and the thunderstorm
The whirlwind and the mist
Even if the twelve winds were to obey my will
Still my voice would not contain a trace of Your Glory
Nor would my songs even hint at Your Beauty.
And God replied:
The stars and the moon that shine in the sky
The mountains you see in the distance
The islands upon the sea
All of this exists to reveal my Mystery
Day unto day, night unto night
The whole world is full of My Glory
But you are My finest Work
Even the Archangels and Lords of Creation
Know not the Bliss I have hidden in your hearts
Learn to speak with your Voices of Wonder
Nature is the training ground
Where the paths of Spirit are found
The elements contain the notes with which My Voice Sings
In air is openness of heart as vast as the sky
In fire is will power--the same that drives the stars
In water--empathy and love that attain not only union but oneness
In earth is endurance and stability-The backbone of time and Eternity
Build these four gates
Within your soul and within your heart
Then you shall speak with My Voice
See with My Eyes
Hear with My Ears
And Love with My Heart
Then your Songs shall create the universe anew
My Beauty is not separate from you
Come forth. Hold nothing back.
Shine with the light of all the stars.
Moses was hesitant to share God's words with anyone else. So he went to
his brother-in-law, Aaron, and spoke God's words. Aaron said in response,
“Perhaps you should write this down, seal it in an urn, and put it in a cave to
be found in another day when the world is more willing. Perhaps it should
be reserved and utilized as an instruction manual for those who study in
schools for prophets.
“But let me say this once so there can be no mistake. The tabernacle I
would build would be made of acacia wood with pillars overlaid with gold,
curtains of fine-twined linen and goat's hair, held by clasps and rings of gold
also.
“You see Moses, God appointed me to speak with your voice, to make
sense to kings as well as people what your visions and dreams mean.
To put it simply, we all need something we can see and touch and grasp not
only with our minds and spirit but also with our eyes and hands. A vision
should be made so real you can walk inside of it and know it is part of our
world. I tell you, the five senses must have a little ritual and ceremony--a
little incense, an altar, and a sacrifice, if they are to provide peace of mind.
“But since we are discussing God, there is something you could help me
with. You know how it is, I have this problem with images, calves and the
like. And so many folks round about have goddessses in their religions.
You know Moses how you have gotten even God to change the law, to
amend and add addendums concerning widows and such. Could you ask
God to clarify this point: Is He male, female, or something else? It would
put to rest so many of my doubts.”
And so Moses on his next trip up the mountain presented to God Aaron's
request.
But this time God spoke in reply not through the burning bush, nor from
within the mountain, nor from the burning cloud, the pillar of flames, nor the
whirlwind. God's Voice spoke through Mose's own heart.
And God said, “I can neither speak, appear, nor may My Presence be
known except through Her Beauty and Love. What She decrees I Myself
cannot overturn for She and I are One.
“The universe have I created to celebrate My Love for My Beloved. The
stars and galaxies are the garments I have woven into being that Her Beauty
might be seen. I invite all: Come. Enter the Celebration of Our Love. For
where one heart seeks another and finally joins there do She and I appear
and celebrate Our Love also in an ever new form.”
And when Moses heard this Voice speak within his heart he fell down, his
face upon the ground, and he wept bitter tears--hot, salty streams flowing
down his cheeks, across his mouth, and dripping from his chin into the dust.
Then Moses said, “Oh God, let me now die. For who can endure such
Joy?”
And God replied, “Only those who Love.”
Balaam
My task in this story is to give an account of how a secular individual,
through his own effort and without divine prompting, could interact directly
with God. This is precisely what the Bible reports. Balaam was so
successful that when it came to cursing nations he could hire himself out to
the highest bidder. And though he used enchantments to enter God’s
Presence, God still spoke to him and through him.
Both Christians and Jews use Balaam as a bad example. But I am not
promoting any religious dogma. I am exploring what is possible. And on
this point the Bible is perfectly clear--human beings can directly enter God’s
Presence. You just have to make an effort.
Balaam, The Gentile Prophet
Moses led his people to encamp on the plains of Moab on the side of the
Jordan by Jericho. But Balak, king of the Maobites, was not happy. Balak
saw how the march of the Israelites resulted in victory after victory against
whatever people or nations stood in their way. Shaken by fear, Balak sought
to insure the survival of his people by gaining the assistance of Balaam, the
son of Beor.
Balaam's reputation as a prophet was already well-established. It was
known to a number of kings that Balaam's powers were such that he could
speak with God and gain God's counsel and assistance. And by virtue of this
ability and Balaam's magical powers of profound trance, whatever nation
Balaam blessed would be blessed and whatever nation he cursed would be
cursed.
And so elders and princes of Moab and of Midian came and offered
treasures to Balaam speaking Balak's words by saying, “Curse for me the
people of Israel that I may have a chance to defeat them and drive them from
my land.” And when Balaam heard these words, he told the elders and
princes to wait one night while he spoke with God.
That night Balaam spoke to God on behalf of Balek asking God to curse
the Israelites. But God told Balaam not to curse the Israelites for they were
blessed. And these words Balaam passed onto the messengers from Balak.
When Balak received word of what had occurred, he thought to himself, “I
shall increase the reward and make Balaam an offer he cannot refuse.”
Then Balak sent princes of higher rank to beseech Balaam for his
assistance against Israel saying Balak would give Balaam great honor and do
whatever Balaam asked of him. Again Balaam spoke with God during the
night. But God impressed upon Balaam the glorious destiny of Israel and
showed him visions of what was to be. In the morning, Balaam said to the
princes that even if Balak were to offer him a palace full of gold and silver
this was one time he could not alter “the word of the Lord my God.”
When Balak received this bad news a second time, he thought: “I shall go
myself and speak with Balaam. It is not only my will that is at stake here. It
is the way of life of an entire people and our right to worship as we choose.
And it is not just my own kingdom but the survival of his own people as
well, the Midianites that Balaam must consider. Our life is tied to the land.
Surely, the will of God will yield if Balaam himself argues on our behalf, for
our cause is just and Balaam's power as a prophet is greater than any other
prophet on earth. If there is one spiritual principle that determines fate and
destiny, it is this: All things are negotiable.”
In the book of Numbers, it is said that Balaam risked his life to confer
further with Balak. In the second of the only two examples of animal’s
speaking in the Bible, the ass Balaam rode spoke and told Balaam to stop
beating him for not proceeding down the road. Then Balaam looked up and
perceived an angel with a sword standing in the center of the road who was
waiting in ambush to slay Balaam. But after this encounter, after Balaam
once again demonstrated he could perceive directly God’s invisible
messengers, God told Balaam he could go ahead and meet with Balak.
However, Balaam had to say to the king the words God gave him.
Twice more Balak beseeched Balaam to speak on his behalf to God.
Balak took Balaam up upon the hills, first a place of Baal and then the top of
Peor. Each time seven altars were built and sacrifices made of rams and
bullocks. And twice more God spoke to Balaam but the result was always
the same. Balaam was unable to alter or influence God's will in regard to the
destiny of Isreal. And Balaam, even in the immediate presence of King
Balak, was forced to bless Israel, for this was the will of God.
But Balaam liked the king. He liked associating with royalty. Regardless
of God's blessing upon Israel, Balaam was sympathetic with the king's
cause--a great deal was at stake. And the king was treating Balaam not just
as a hireling prophet but as a member of the royal family. Balaam never felt
so needed, so wanted by anyone before in his life.
Balaam, who knew well the complex components of fate that shape the
destiny of nations, told the king that what cannot be done by speaking with
God might be accomplish through another means. Balaam explained that
God's tie to the Israelites depended on the Israelites abiding by God's law
and morality. Balaam said, “If we can undo these moral bonds, then God
will turn against this people whom he now defends.
“Let us see, therefore, if we cannot temper and tame the Israelites’ fierce
passion for war by the more gentle arts of love and the ecstasies of
sensuality. Let us see if these Israeli warriors will not soften their hearts if
the women of Moab go out to them and offer their bodies and their affection
as a token gesture of peace and good intentions. The inherent weakness in
any faith and faith's greatest vulnerability are the need to be loved and
accepted. Their faith will weaken and then God will no longer be bound to
honor, to guide, and to bless this people, Israel.
But God forestalled the fulfillment of Balaam's plans and bid Moses one
last command before the life of Moses was to end. God commanded Moses
to see that the Midianites were destroyed completely. And this Moses did.
And so it was that the kings of Moab and Midian and Balaam himself fell
to Israelite swords. And the man Jews refer to as a gentile prophet came to
an ignominious end. The Jews never forgave Balaam the role he played in
striving against Israel. The Jews continued telling Balaam's story form any
centuries. And after them the Christians, even while suffering under Roman
persecution, were prone to refer to Balaam as a bad example, as an
illustration of how not to do it, and as a testimony that the power to move
God to action is best left in the hands of divinely authorized prophets.
But who was Balaam really? How had he acquired such powers of
enchantment that, almost casually, he could speak to God and receive
detailed and exact instructions and assistance? And why did Balaam err so
badly in an area in which he was so professionally competent?
Let us consider highlights and turning points from this secular prophet's
life. Balaam had none of the advantages of the man who would become his
main adversary in life, Moses. Balaam was not raised in the house of the
pharaoh or a king. He was not initiated into any secret priesthood, esoteric
order, or given any magical training, as was Moses in Egypt. Balaam's life,
in fact, did not fit the model of a hero on a quest.
In his professional life he had to start at the bottom. Poor and destitute in
the beginning, Balaam did what he could to make ends meet. Quite by
accident one day when he chanced to sit down next to a soldier under a palm
tree on a road, the soldier mentioned to Balaam that fate no doubt would
take his life when he went into battle the next day.
Balaam looked at the man and said, “Not so. You will live another
nineteen years. Your life will prosper. You shall have vineyards and trees
of dates, figs, and olives to tend. In the end, when you die, you will depart
in peace with your wife and children around your bed.”
The soldier was about to laugh in scorn at Balaam, but he stopped himself
when he looked into Balaam's eyes. He saw a kind man who meant well and
spoke what was in his heart. But he also saw a dark abyss as if he were
looking into the depths of the sky at night, but in this sky there were no stars
that shined. The soldier, if he had been articulate enough to express it,
would have said, “If you attempt to say the wrong thing in the presence of
Balaam, your words have a way of dying before they leave your lips.”
Word of Balaam's prophecies concerning the future lead other soldiers,
then officers, and finally great commanders to seek his blessing and counsel
before they went into battle. Balaam blessed armor and weapons. He had
the uncanny knack of being able to tell in advance who would come back
alive and who would not return from a battle. And the soldiers did not hold
it against Balaam that he was honest and told them when their chances for
survival were slim.
They imagined Balaam to be a kind of holy man or freelance priest and
they made offerings to him to pray for them when it was their time to cross
over to the other side. All of this may sound very suspicious and even
outrageous to take money for blessings. But generals and politicians have
been engaging in this sort of thing for ages. They command and bribe
priests to bless them though rarely if ever did they have someone like
Balaam to assist them or speak words that might make a difference.
After about four years of odd jobs involving divination, prophesizing the
weather, blessing crops, occasionally healing someone suffering from
mental illness, Balaam acquired enough financial support through various
retainers that he was finally free to do what he wanted to do most. He was
able to devote nearly his entire time simply to meditating on the wonder of
creation and the mystery of being alive. Balaam was neither motivated by
religious instinct nor was he devote. He had no dogma to promote or pass
down. He simply took pleasure in seeing the universe as it is and
investigating the harmony that underlies its outer forms and manifestations.
But how did Balaam's perception develop over the years so that in the end
he was free to speak with God Himself? Balaam, like only a very few who
appear on earth from time to time, came into the world with a sixth sense
already fully developed: he could perceive the inner life hidden within all
things. But more than this, Balaam possessed something divinity had
engineered especially for humanity--Balaam possessed the gift of curiosity
in full measure.
And so one day Balaam prophesied the future of a newborn child to a
princess of Midian who was called Mirah. He told her that everywhere her
child turned his face, he would find wealth and happiness, but later,
according to decree of fate, his life would suddenly be cut off. She thanked
him accepting his words and honoring his vision.
And then, as she held his hand and gazed into his eyes, she asked him a
question no one else in his entire life would ever ask again--no one else
would ever presume such intimacy: “Balaam, from whence do your powers
arise? What winds of spirit brush the waters of your heart with lips of
inspiration or bid your soul drink such wine of vision that even the veils of
the future are rent in two when you look upon their dark tapestry?”
Balaam replied, “As long as I can remember, I had been asking myself
these questions: What spirit, what hand, what mind, what soul envisioned
and gave birth to the wonders of the universe? The tree from the seed--what
soul is so passionate to have envisioned and engendered this thing? The
mountains from the sand--what mind has the endurance to withstand such
silence and to exercise such power of command? The clouds from the sky-from whose breath do the winds arise? The sun, moon, and stars--what Joy
is so great that celestial light leaves but a trace of its glorious face? And of
mankind--all that drives and motivates, all dreams and visions, all desires
and needs--what spirit could have created such a being?
“And so to the tree, the mountain, the clouds, the sun, moon, and stars--I
opened myself to them and became one with them until I could feel the very
pulse and throb of the heartbeat that gave birth to their existence. And since
becoming a man, I have made it my custom to pause four times a day to
contemplate the divine majesty of God from which the four elements arise.
“At dawn, I meditate upon the sky and winds from which wisdom and the
enlightened mind arise. At noon, I consider how from fire and the sun the
power of will is born shaping and guiding all destinies. In the evening, I
embrace the spirit within water--nurturing and flowing, yielding and
receiving, in water is hidden the secret of love that embraces the world. And
late at night I reflect on matter, its shape, weight, and form and then with my
mind I become the stone, the ruby, gold, silver, the hills, the desert, and the
mountains.
“But in all my contemplations upon all that the five senses reveal, I have
searched for the source to which all of nature and life testifies. And this
source is named God who chooses to reveal Himself as the first light
appearing from out of the unmanifest.
“One morning before the sun arose, I had finished my meditations and
was having tangerines and tea for breakfast. But then the air in my room
grew thick as if pregnant with some great mystery about to be born. And
then, though my eyes remained open, the room ceased to exist. I looked
about myself and saw that I was in an immense space clear and yet also solid
and glittering with different colors like an opal. Time and space dissolved. I
could see the future and the past and any place on earth that I desired to gaze
upon.
“I remained in this trance for hours not moving or blinking my eyes. And
then I entered a place in which there was only nothingness--no world, no
stars or sky, no thing the five senses could perceive or the mind analyze.
And there, as an abyss appearing in front of me, empty, dark, without
beginning or end, and yet containing all of time and space, all of life, all
destinies within it, God appeared to me and spoke as clearly to me as you
speak to me now.”
The princess took her hand off Balaam's arm and said, “Balaam, your
words frighten me. I am shaken. Your words are like acid dissolving my
contentment. Your words are like a thief stealing from me my peace. How
can I ever seek happiness knowing such mystery hovers at the edge of all
that I seek waiting to fall upon me?
“How can you survive entering a temple made not from stone which has
no doors or windows, no altar, no images of God? Does the body know how
to let go of its form and become more thin than wind, more pure than light?
And how can your return to the land of the living after having such a vision
in which all things dissolve?”
Balaam replied, “By becoming strong. It is not so difficult as you may
think. It is not impossible, though I must say it has taken me decades to
accomplish. I have trained my mind to enter the heart of the mountain and
put on its robes of silence and stillness. I have entered into minerals, gems,
and stones. I have learned from iron its fierce patience and rugged
endurance. I can see through the eyes of the lion and the hawk surrenders its
will to mine when I gaze into its eyes.
“My concentration is like a diamond both sharp and yet empty enough to
let light shine through it. My soul is like a prism in reverse--I gather the
colors of the spectrum and blend them until they are transformed into white
light--that is, into the source, the creative will from which they arise.
“Do not be afraid of my words. God does not come to me uninvited and
neither will He seek you out unless you call out to Him.”
As Mirah looked into Balaam's eyes and listened to his reply, she saw not
a night sky where no stars shine. Rather, she saw in his eyes a longing for
love which he knew not how to satisfy.
She said, “Balaam, what you are saying is that hidden within sensuality
and all that the senses experience is a secret path leading into the Divine
Presence. All wonder and beauty, all that men desire, all that the diverse
creatures of nature need, all of this speaks of the ecstasy from which the
world has been formed. And yet I do not see this love shining from within
your heart. Balaam, would you not also be a sacred chalice, an oasis here on
earth, from which others may drink, be healed, and fulfill their path of life?”
And Balaam replied, “Though I have a knack for wisdom and prophecy, a
skill which few can match, love has not touched my life. I hear the birds
sing. I see the trees blossom in spring. I taste the fruit the seasons produce
and the beauty of the earth speaks to me continuously. But all that I have
accomplished, all my searching, has been done in solitude. I no longer know
how to find a mate. I cannot even imagine what it would be like for another
to be there for me and to share what is within my heart.”
Mirah remembered Balaam's word and she left no longer afraid of the
Divine Presence. Yet unlike Balaam, Mirah knew instinctively that the
desire for love is greater than any quest for wisdom. But she did learn from
Balaam that the five senses both conceal and reveal the Divine Presence-that in taste, touch, sight, smell, and sound a trace of His love may be found.
And so when Mirah loved another she loved with all her heart. It was as
if in loving another she could rend the veils of the world and look into the
love hidden in God's heart. But of this faith and experience she never spoke
a word to anyone until one day she had a son. And to him only did she
convey the words Balaam had spoken and the love those words had raised
up within her heart.
In another society, in another time, perhaps it would have occurred to
Balaam that Mirah was a woman he could have loved. But Balaam had
neither social standing nor the wealth and power necessary to court a woman
such as Mirah. Still, this one conversation with Mirah was the closest thing
to genuine intimacy, of sharing from heart to heart, Balaam would ever
experience with a woman or with anyone.
Mirah had listened to Balaam's every word and followed his every
thought. But in the end she understood that he was beyond the reach of her
love. And Balaam thought to himself that he was neither a tour guide nor a
priest. Who he was and what was most important in his heart he would
never be able to share with another. He had crossed beyond the boundaries
of the world where even explorers are afraid to go and the treasures of spirit
he had found were not the sort that brought happiness and joy to others’
hearts. At least that is what he thought.
Still, there were several times when Balaam saw young lovers who loved
each other like two people completely hypnotized and possessed by each
other’s spirits. And, since Balaam specialized in enchantments, he
contemplated this passion and love as to what was its final end and in what
way it spoke of the mystery of God.
And when Balaam had exhausted his meditations he turned to God and
asked this question, “Why has love not found me when no secret of nature or
spirit is hidden from my eyes? What do women require? Wealth, honor, or
power? What do I yet lack that a woman's devotion has not entered my
life?”
And God replied, “Let the love you would give and receive from another
first flow as a river from yourself. I am the source of such a river.”
Balaam then asked God, “Would you have me love You as I wish a
woman to love me that the circle might be complete--with devotion as deep
as the sea and as pure as falling snow? How may I find this love of which
you speak?”
God replied, “Balaam, others I have had to inspire so they would seek Me.
I have sent angels to wrestle with their demons. I have set bushes on fire
with flames that do not burn to capture their attention. I have divided entire
seas that others may see signs and believe. But you have sought and found
me on your own initiative. Now, if you would taste My mystery and feel my
essence flow through your veins,
Love me as the sky loves the stars
Love without barriers or boundaries
Offering light a shrine in which to shine
Love me as eternity loves time
The hours, the days, the seasons, the ages, the eons
I am in every moment, every breath, every heartbeat, every caress
Love me as the earth loves life
The mountains, the trees, the lakes, the seas
They nourish and provide
They offer all beings a place to abide
Love me as fire loves air
As a lover inhaling
Savors the fragrance of the Beloved
The other's heart the fuel, the spark
An all-consuming fire greater even than desire
Love me as the lightning bolt strikes
In the darkness of the night
Be my voice
Unite the heaven and the earth
Speak with a tongue of fire
That can ignite in others
The desire to taste, to partake, to celebrate
The beauty and wonder of the universe
And the mystery of My Presence on earth.
Balaam replied,
How can two love each other
Except they each have their own wells from which to drink?
If your love touched me for even an instant
There would be nothing left
Neither dust nor breath
If I tasted your bliss
I would cease to exist
No man on earth can endure or offer the love you seek.
From this moment on Balaam no longer sought to penetrate further into the
Divine majesty or the mystery of God. And though Balaam felt the need for
love like any other man, he was wary of taking a lover. He felt the magic
hidden in love was more than he could bear.
Balaam knew God was waiting for him and that God's heart is present
wherever loved is shared. And Balaam's desire for knowledge had never
sought this end. Balaam knew that if he ever fell in love with a woman he
would see reflected in her eyes as through a mirror the mystery of God, a
beauty too terrifying to bear. Such are the professional hazards, the odd
little anxieties and quirks, which are prone to lurk in the hearts of magicians
and prophets of this sort.
Now though Balaam could talk up a storm with soldiers and merchants
too, because he preferred a hermit's existence, the years passed in quiet
serenity. Occasionally, a king would seek him out to insure a military
victory or safeguard the boundaries of a kingdom. But these were minor
concerns really. They were no more than a casual diversion.
In his own mind, Balaam did not see himself as altering anyone's destiny.
It was just the nature of meditation--of seeing the world as it is. After a
while you become sensitive enough to see into another person's heart and
read how another's life turns upon the wheel of fate.
It was the same with nations. If you can sense the mountains, the rivers,
the forests, the crops, the people and kings’ minds and hearts of the princes,
then it is not so difficult to step into the future, open your eyes, and look
about at what is to transpire. The future is not so opaque that you cannot
sense the currents, the wind direction, and the fires of desire that determine
fate.
Altering a national destiny, for Balaam, was like looking at a garden and
seeing what kind of seeds are present and the way they are planted. You
need only pull a few weeds in the right places and then water and fertilize
what you desire. Changing the future, when you know the influences that
are active, is as simple as a prince at court, on his own initiative, whispering
the right words at the right time into the right ears. But Balaam never
changed what was growing by itself. He merely accentuated one outcome
over another in accordance with the will of kings who sought to protect or
bless their own kingdoms and reduce the power of their enemies.
It was four years since Balaam had spoken with any king when Balak sent
princes to him because Moses had led the Israelites into Moab. Balaam,
unlike Moses, was a solitary practitioner. He sought no more than to have
his questions concerning life answered and to live out his days in peace.
And so Balaam had neither sought nor spoken to God during this time, for
he had exhausted his original list of questions concerning the secrets of
creation.
Moses, on the other hand, did not seek God's blessing occasionally at the
request of another or to satisfy his own curiosity or to penetrate the sources
of wonder. Moses had joined himself to the line of those who would seek
God’s blessing upon an entire people not for one lifetime but for all ages of
the world.
Moses was not as shy as Balaam. If you had asked Moses he would have
answered, “Yes, there are times when I awake at night and think that for a
few moments I have seen through God's eyes and felt in my heart His dream
for the world. And after such a vision my heart cries out from its depths,
‘Let me do thy will oh Lord.’”
Consequently, as you might imagine, the outcome was inevitable when
these two prophets crossed swords. Though Balaam's powers of
concentration were as great as any man for millennia, Moses, unlike Balaam,
had entered into the abyss of God's heart. Moses had held nothing back--he
had sailed upon that sea which has no shores. Though Moses still relied on
dreams and entering into the wilderness to speak with God, the heart of
Moses would inspire a people down through the millennia. Balaam, his
visions, his prophecies, and his work on earth, would be nearly forgotten.
And so it was that after consulting with Balak and then leaving the king
unsatisfied, Balaam returned into Midian. It was then that one of the five
kings of Midian, Reba, sent word to Balaam that he sought his counsel.
When Balaam met with the king, Reba said, “Balaam, son of Beor, I have
been disturbed by dreams of war and I fear my time on earth nears its end. I
will not seek of you as king Balak has to change the fate of my nation. The
hand of God upon the helm of history is beyond my power to comprehend
and I do not seek to alter the course that He intends. .
“Since you prophesied to my mother, Mirah, the course of my life I have
accepted my fate. My life has been lived according to your words. All that I
have gazed upon has prospered. All that I have sought to do has been
accomplished. I have been neither kind nor cruel, neither wise nor a fool. I
have been busy, industrious, running a kingdom, and satisfying myself with
the fruits of my labor.
“But now the scythe is laid to the wheat and my life is soon to be cut off.
I regret nothing. Yet still, from time to time, at winter and summer solstice,
I thought on the words you spoke to my mother about God. Balaam your
wisdom is a well and through its waters flow God’s will. And as my mother
once did, I too would ask of you that you grant me a cup to drink of this
water of life.
“I pay well Balaam. I have two sons and if you fulfill my request this
day I shall give you a third of my kingdom granting you equal inheritance
and honor with my other children. Through you I would speak to God so
that once and for all I might hear the words He would share with me. For
my whole life, I have focused all of my attention on the affairs of the outer
world.
“But now I gaze within. I renounce sin. I renounce terror, darkness, and
fear of the abyss. I renounce all philosophies, all doctrines, all religion, all
priests, all magicians, and all that would keep me from Him. Balaam,
unloose the full power of your will, open the gates of heaven, and bid God
answer this question: Where may I find Him within my heart?”
Balaam, responding to the king's request, entered into a trance with his
eyes open though gazing into an unfathomable distance. Then purely though
force of concentration and power of will he found his way once again into
the Divine Presence. And God spoke to Reba through Balaam as Balaam
relayed each word God spoke.
God said, “Reba, gaze upon Balaam who vexes my spirit and seeks to
undo the work of my angels and prophets. Learn from his errors. He has
not sought Me in love to join or become one with Me. Rather, he has sought
to master the notes and resonances within My Voice as a musician seeks to
master the strings of a harp so he may play whatever songs he wishes.
“Yet I force no one to seek me nor would I bind anyone against their will
to My love. Balaam has used Me to gain wealth and prosperity for others
and himself. And yet it is also true that even if I were to reveal My love in
the form of a man so I obtained millions of followers, they shall seek to
know My heart with less passion than has Balaam.
“I am within you as the strength of fire--as a lover seeks out of passion to
discover the secret desires and thoughts of the beloved’s heart. I am within
you as the salty tears of water--as the heart that will never be satisfied until it
is one with another. I am within you as breath--in every inhalation and
exhalation filling your emptiness and joining you to all life on earth.
“And I am within your body--you will hear My Voice speak when you
have learned to listen with the patience of the tree that silently send sits roots
down into the earth and with the stillness of the mountain that gives not even
ages of time a second thought. To enter My Presence is to embrace all ages
of the world and all that I have created. This is why the eyes of my prophets
see through the ages and their hearts dream dreams which, like seeds from
the Tree of Life, shall reach fruition in the fullness of time.
“If you would abide in Me, then nurture those in need and establish justice
upon the earth. King Reba, it is good to hold in remembrance the words I
have spoken. It is a blessing to keep my ordinances and commands. Yet it
is better still, beyond all reckoning, to recreate the world through the power
of a heart that loves. I am within every heart as both a seed and a boundless
sea of love and light, power and might. My wisdom is as vast as eternity
and yet everyone can find me--create within yourself the heart that loves and
you will never depart from My Presence”
Upon hearing these words that God had spoken through the mouth of
Balaam, King Reba finally understood why the heart of his mother had been
troubled all these years and why also she was more beautiful than any
woman he had ever beheld. A spark from the Divine Presence illuminated
her heart and now the king wondered if such fire would also burn within his
own.
And so ends the legend and the story of Balaam--the gentile prophet
whose will and wisdom were so great he found his own way into God's
presence. But then he turned back unwilling to allow a greater love and a
greater will to flow through him using his life as its conduit.
Note. St. Patrick, you recall, was credited with driving all the snakes out of
Ireland. He also took a harp away from a bard, you know, because music so
beautiful can mislead the soul.
St. Patrick and the Elves
St. Patrick met a bard one day
And hearing him play
St. Patrick exclaimed:
“The notes of your harp
Are the same as heaven's own art
Except for one thing-They are a little too much elvin.”
So St. Patrick took the bard's harp away
And put it in the corner of his room.
But late that night when St. Patrick fell asleep and dreamed
The cold wind from the sea swept into his room
And when the wind touched the harp's strings
Little elfin men came out of the harp
And filled up his room.
Then St. Patrick woke with a start
And cried aloud: “I know not the bard's art
How to send you back home
To the fairy realms from where you have come.
What am I to do with you?”
And they replied:
“Only a saint can see us.
To all others we are invisible.
Let us go free so we can play:
In your world by the light of day
The rainbow sparkles in delight
And by night the sounding sea
And the breeze in the tree
Sing as sweet as any bard's enchanting melody.”
And St. Patrick, with so many elves cluttering up his room,
Said in reply:
“I would be willing to give it a try
If you will serve the church for me.
You see, we on earth are not idle or carefree.
Instead, we do work for God's glory.
You there, yes you, with the pale hands and long fingers
What useful work for the church will you do?”
And the little elf said:
“I can take a heart broke in two
And mend it again
So that it shines like the moon.”
And St. Patrick said:
“And you there with the pointed red cap
How about you?”
“I can take a little boy
And show him how to fly a kite in the sky
With stands from a vine and leaves from a tree
Carefully entwined, for this is a toy of my design.
And not only that, I can teach a child to tie his shoe
Or to find his way home again when he is lost in the wood;
All of this I will do for you.”
And St. Patrick said:
“And you there standing behind my table with your eyes so shy?
Do you also make toys that fly?”
“No, but I can teach your scribes
To draw bright colored letters of red, gold, and blue
With dragons and unicorns dancing through
So that learning to read and write
Will be a pleasure and a delight.”
“And you with your head leaning against my wall
What is your where with all?”
“I will show monks and men
To ferment hops and honey
So that beer and mead
Teach the tongue to let go of dark secrets-Then the sadness in men's souls will be banished.”
And St. Patrick, who could tell right from wrong
Regarding doctrines and conflicts of the soul,
Was also a practical man.
He knew as well as me or you
That some things you just have to do.
So he let the elves go
And the people in that land
Were more happy and holy.
But a month later when the moon was dark
The harp did spark
Its strings flared with fierce flames emerald and green
And in the room stepped a fairy queen
Elegant, radiant, and gorgeous.
Her eyes were full of starlight
And her hair was blazing red.
And when St. Patrick saw this sight
He said:
"You are so lovely the sky and the sea
Cannot compete with your beauty.
Your face and grace outshine the sun and the moon.
But I cannot let you go free.
You would haunt my people in their dreams.
They would return to worshiping trees in groves
And praying among standing stones."
The elvin queen replied:
“St. Patrick, you know as well as I do,
That you cannot keep me here with you.
My beauty is too great.
Even you would lose your faith
And no longer desire to seek God's face.
Let me go free and I promise you
I will take from the shores of your land
All the snakes of Ireland.
You see, every creature of wind, sea, and land
Obeys my voice and heeds my command.
The snakes will follow me home
To the Blessed Realms where I will go.
For only a saint as great as you is free to choose
To remain on earth and do God's will
And not fall under my enchantment.
But in another age men will find a way
To sing God’s praise so as not to evade
But rather capture my rapture and the beauty I portray.
And this they will do both to honor God's glory
And for the sake of Love that celebrates truth
In every form and manner in which it appears
Through out all of creation.
Now St. Patrick was not only a practical man.
He was also wise and so he said:
“Go in peace my child.
Do this work for the sake of the church
And I will search my heart
To see if your prophecies are true or not.”
And when St. Patrick awoke the next day
All the snakes from Ireland had gone away
But his heart informed him he had made a mistake
To let the maiden of Beauty depart.
Though he tried to call her back
St. Patrick knew not the bard’s art.
And so the land of Erin still awaits the day
When men will come forth no longer ashamed or afraid
To join in one song God's praise
With the Blessed Realm’s Beauty and Love.
Saint Columba
Christianity has transformed the world in part through the compassion of its
practitioners. It has also committed blunders of equal magnitude from the
abuse of its powers. But by the nature of my story, I am compelled to offer a
mystical fable about an individual who has spoken directly with God and
enjoyed His Presence.
There are many candidates from whom I might have drawn--e.g., St.
Patrick, St. John of the Cross, St. Francis of Assisi, and even Pope Leo. But
when I search the mind, the heart, and the spirits of these individuals I have
no doubt that Columba accomplished this task--for God had set before
Moses the design of a tabernacle hoping that mankind might in the end find
Him rather than celebrating and worshiping in the work of man’s hands.
And Solomon, whose wisdom was beyond human understanding and
who served God’s purposes, he too failed to attain to God’s Presence. And
so Solomon, externalizing his religion, upgraded the tabernacle of Moses, by
building a great temple to “house” God in Jerusalem. And men still fight
over this temple’s location 2,700 years later as if a holy site, a relic, or an
artifact could substitute for or offer a clue to the Presence that waits to be
discovered in each individual’s heart.
On the other hand, perhaps I might digress a moment back to a place
located just at the beginning of the human race. This I do because to keep
the story line in perspective requires a digression into the archangelic
dimension. The human quest is rather daunting and perplexing and even the
archangels have been known to lament the difficulty factor that God’s intent
presents:
Archangel's Lament
The Four stood before the Throne and gazed in Wonder at a new creation-human beings. Then the Archangel Gabriel spoke, “What is this creature in
whose heart a darkness shines. Though I can see through time, the mystery
of their hearts I cannot divine.”
The Archangel Michael spoke, “The sword of fire in my hands holds
back the champions of darkness lest they spread fear and hatred throughout
the world. Yet my fire of might does not shine as bright as the sun waiting
to be born within their hearts.”
Then Archangel Raphael came forth and said, “My hands of golden light
heal every heart where it tears, every soul is renewed and made whole
through my touch. But they, with the Songs hidden within their hearts, shall
bind the universe into a Song of Love. Before such as these all my powers
are no more than tin or straw.”
Then Sandalphon, the Archangel of the earth, came forth and spoke, “The
treasures I share are wealth beyond compare--the lands bring forth their
ripened fruits in due season to satisfy the desires of the body and mind.
Thus soul and spirit are able to soar free. But these who walk upon the
earth, they are not as are we-“To each of us a divine commission is assigned and tasks to accomplish
within the domain where we reign. We each are unique, our natures are
complete.
“But these creatures, through the power of their hearts, recreate
themselves again and again--one heart gives birth to another, the light within
one ignites within the other. The flame of matter and spirit transmutes
beyond what we can imagine as it leaps between from one to the other. See
how they join as one without separation, fusing and transforming, and yet
retaining their individuality.”
And so, the Four petitioned the Creator to know His thoughts that they
might better accomplish His Will.
Sitting upon his throne, the Creator spoke these words in reply, “There is
no purpose in my creating a universe unless I anticipate that others will one
day come forth and Love with the same Love with which I Love. And so the
Mystery of My Being I have concealed within their hearts.
“The day will dawn when they shall learn to speak with My Voice, to see
with My Eyes, and to Love as I Love. Then I shall be satisfied with my
creation.
And then God said:
It shall be so.
I, the Lord God,
The Creator of the universe,
Have spoken it.
St. Columba
In the age that begins with the birth of Christianity, God no longer speaks
with and through prophets and seers as He had done during the times of the
Old Testament. No longer are there schools for prophets in the desert. No
more unwilling prophets like Jonah are swallowed by a great fish; no longer
flamboyant prophets like Isaiah who wander for three years naked as a
reminded of how the elite of Egypt would be lead into captivity; no longer
prophets like Elijah who call down fire from the sky to destroy armed forces
attempting to seize him.
Instead, Christianity seeks to capture the essence of the pagan mysteries
as summarized in this sentence: Except a seed fall to the ground and die it
cannot bring forth new life. And Christianity seeks the essence of Judaism
as well as Jesus has summarized the first two commandments: Thou shall
love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and your
neighbor as yourself. The pagan mysteries and the Covenant are combined
in Christ’s sacrifice--the Gospel is the story of an individual who willingly
embraces God’s command to serve and who acts as God Himself would act
if He had taken the form and limitations of a human being.
But the price for this new revelation is great. The voice of mighty
prophets whose words would shake the earth and declare the fate of the
nations--these men of faith depart and their voices are replaced by silence.
This means no prophets, no tabernacle holding the Ark of the Covenant, and
no official Temple built by a king with cosmic wisdom such as Solomon.
In this silence, in this wilderness and desert of the human heart, God is
now free to speak directly to each man through his own conscience. Still,
from time to time, the power and glory of God continues to shine within the
lives of various individuals. St. Columba is one of these.
It is the sixth century AD and the Celtic church stands independent and
free of external authority. Though surrounded by violence and though
illiteracy nearly came to dominate all of Europe, in Ireland both saints and
scholarship flourish.
Here there is no papal supremacy. The cup is not withdrawn from the
congregation for the celebration of the Lord’s Supper, for transubstantiation
is unknown. No priest is required to make intercession with God and there
is no priestly confession. Administrative decisions are made through
synodal assemblies rather than from top down through a ecclesiastical
hierarchy. But most of all, the Word is communicated in the language of the
people.
This is the Celtic Church. It has more spirit of Reformation than the
Reformation itself that shall come a thousand years later. The Reformation,
with its ceaseless bickering and in-fighting, has a bad habit of complying
with the demands of nationalism and acting as the cheerleader for
capitalism.
Still, the sixth century is a time and place when some druids, in
worshiping the sun, see in Christ the Lord of Light come down to earth in
mortal form. And Christian priests, such as Columba, train in the ancient
manner of bards spending seven years in darkness to perfect their art.
Indeed, in these brief moments of the early church the great evangelists were
bards and mystics. And the archangels themselves were not so distant that
they were unwilling to appear when called.
Of the coming of Columba, St. Patrick and his disciple Maucta both
prophesied. And the night before Columba's birth, an angel appeared to his
mother. The angel said that her child would be reckoned as one of the
prophets and would bring innumerable souls into the heavenly country.
Descended from kings on both his mother and father's sides, Columba
could well have become the next King of Ireland. But Columba's
temperament was not only suited for the role of political leadership. His
interest lay elsewhere. While still young, he became active in founding new
churches.
And then one day, in secret, Columba completed with his own hand a
copy of a Latin version of an unknown Gospel Book in which the phrases
were more clearly stated-- “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word
was with God, and the Word was God.... All things were made by him; and
without him was not anything made that was made....”
The book Columba copied belonged originally to Columba's teacher, St.
Finian of Moville, who had brought the book with him back from Rome.
But St. Finian had died and the current owner demanded Columba's copy be
returned. You see, the church, right from the beginning, was not always so
pure it did not fall into being obsessed with ownership, authority, and
monopoly. And so, when asked to intervene, the High King Diarmid of Tara
judged against Columba. Respect for ownership and property are required if
society is to remain stable and governed by the rule of law.
But Columba felt that no man on earth has the authority to constrain,
bind, or conceal the Word. It was this book copied by Columba that would
later be known as the “Cathack,” the Battle-book. It would be taken with
armies into battle for a thousand years.
And so in defiance of the High King, Columba gathered his clan. But
before the coming battle, the Archangel Michael appeared in a dream to
Columba in response to his prayers. The Archangel offered Columba
complete victory.
Now just for the record, let me say something about archangels,
evocation, and spirit communication. Not long ago, I asked a Carmelite
priest, a member of a prophetic order of the Catholic Church, if he had ever
considered calling an archangel such as Michael. His reply was that he
would have to get permission from the bishop and the bishop would think he
was crazy to ask.
But men like Columba understood that the conscience is not something
you ever surrender to someone else’s authority. In fact, Columba had
astonishing powers to call any spirit in our solar system and it would come
and hold conversation with him. Much has been made of Merlin’s magic
but Columba’s powers in the magic of evocation could have made a
thousand Merlins green with envy. Columba’s ability was a gift that God
had granted him.
Back to our story. In return for rendering assistance in battle, the
archangel Michael said Columba would have to go into exile from his
beloved Ireland, for God delights not in war and slaughter. God seeks those
who, in the stillness of their hearts, will listen to His voice speak. Only
within hearts attuned to stillness is peace established on earth and the vision
revealed of a world full of God's glory.
Columba felt deep pain as he considered the prospect of exile, but he
agreed to pay the price. Columba was vehement about this. While still
dreaming, Columba said to the archangel: “The Word of God may not be
bound or chained by the greed of priests or the rule of kings.”
And of the battle of Coldrevny men later said that the archangel Michael
stood and fought by Columba's side. Of those with Columba, only one man
was killed and then only because he had violated a sacred taboo. Those who
fought to defend the judgment of the High King suffered defeat and three
thousand dead.
Again for the record, let me say something about this battle. The Irish as
I am sure you know have not been lucky when it comes to wars or political
will. But as Columba drew his sword that day, the archangel, though
invisible to mortal eyes, spread his wings over the entire army.
In a later time such as ours when science fiction has replaced magical
tales, a journalist for the Associated Press might have said, “It was as if a
force field surrounded every one of Columba’s soldiers.” But I think it is
more accurate to say that Michael exerted a divine enchantment. For
Columba’s army, time was altered. The opposing army of the king, by
comparison, seemed to move in slow motion. Or if you were nearby
watching the two sides, you might say that Columba’s army was fully awake
and the other side acted like they were drowsy or had fallen asleep.
And finally, if you had cameras mounted upon helmets and sending live
video feed to anchormen through satellites, just about everyone watching
would later say that the king’s men looked haunted, confused, and
bewildered. You could see it in the mouth and in the eyes. The muscles of
the face had grown soft and the eyes were all dark as if they knew they had
already lost. Whereas with Columba’s men--it was as if the light of the sun
was burning in their eyes. There was no doubt, no hesitation, and fatigue
never set in. They fought as if it was God who was commanding them.
But now, the victory behind him, the time comes for Columba to depart
from his beloved land even as the archangel foretold. Columba must leave
behind his clan, the churches he has established, and all those with whom he
is joined in love. Columba is set to sail from Derry in the year 563 with
twelve disciples.
The ship is ready. It is a coracle of wicker and hides. Though in
appearance fragile and not at all good at sailing against the wind, in the
hands of a skillful man it will accomplish its purpose.
Columba now turns and gazes upon the green hills of Ireland that he is to
leave behind. And of the pain and grief he feels with this separation,
Columba now speaks aloud:
“Light dances in images of delight before my eyes. The sounding sea
sings in my ears. The flowing wind touches my skin with impatience,
beckoning me to set and trim the sail. In gusts and sighs it cries: ‘Let go the
past. Embrace this moment with all your heart. Journey forth unafraid.’
“But standing here I pause. To journey forth from the shores of Erin is to
die while yet living. In pain, my soul has fled from me. It has hidden itself
in some dark place and refuses to return. I still breathe the air. My heart
still beats within my chest, but my spirit has departed to I know not where.”
Columba steps into his craft and begins his journey. He must find an
island from whose highest point Ireland cannot be seen. And so, days later,
after leaving behind the tiny island of Oronsay from where Ireland still
appears, Columba again boards his craft and continues his search and lonely
exile.
But just before the Isle of Iona appears across the sea, Columba turns the
helm of the craft to one of his crew. Something is stirring him from within,
like a gust of wind--a skillful sailor can sense it before it touches waves or
skin. Columba rises and walks to the bow and scans the horizon. But it is
on the other side of the craft that Columba’s eyes are caught by a mirage at
first and then a full-scale vision. Columba sees Christ walking by the port
side just abreast of the bow waves. Two months later, after beginning to
settle in to their new home, Columba takes a pen and recalls this moment as
he composes this poem:
The Wanderer
Within a wilderness of waves
The wind parts
Where the Wanderer walks
He pauses beside my craft
He turns, his hand upon my shoulder, and says:
“Like you, I too surrendered my kingdom
For the sake of a quest
Like you, I too was
Lost and abandoned
Alone and forsaken
I too walked through darkness
I too became empty
That I might be filled to overflowing.
Listen:
I embrace the spirit of the journey
In each step I take I breathe in the air,
I celebrate life, I sing of beauty.
The winds and the rain,
The elements do not make me weary
They object not to my quest
They know I am protected
Though I am cloaked in darkness,
My movement as silent as the night's
My emptiness so vast
The stars fall sleep in my palms.
And yet, I dance
In the wind and rain and in all the elements
Their light shines in my eyes
Their songs strengthen me
Because in my heart I know
Every journey and moment of life is sacred
In silence and stillness are seen:
The beginning and the end,
The path, the quest, the journey, the coming home-I join them all within me
Deep peace of the Earth is upon me-It is part of the art of who I am.
If you would accept Me into yourself
Be still within
And know this:
With the trees, the rocks, the clouds,
The streams, the tender grass-I am one with them all,
Not the faintest trace of separation
Exists within my soul.
So though it appears to others my journey
Takes me into the cold heart of the unknown
I am never alone.
I am the Sojourner
Who in each moment
Life and Love greet me anew
And welcome me home
As an old friend.
As the vision of Christ fades and the resonance in that Voice is replaced by a
rising wind and the spray of water on his face, Columba spies the Isle of
Iona across the waves, “Li-shona”--the Holy Island. Seventy miles from
Ireland, Iona is three and a half miles long and at most a mile and a half
wide. Also known as Isla Nan Druidneach, the Isle of the Druids, Iona is of
great antiquity and quite different from the surrounding islands. In geologic
terms, the rocks of Iona were formed before life began on earth somewhere
around 2.8 billion years ago.
Exposed to the Atlantic and shaped by the erosion of wind and waves, the
Western coast of Iona is a mixture of bays, caves, small outcrops, and
heartlands. It ranges from sharp cliffs, to graceful sandy beaches, to
columns of cut rock resembling the ruins of Greek temples.
To the East is a calm Sound that on windless days captures the blue sky
in its depths. A mile across the Sound, the rusty red shores of Mull Island
amplify the enchantment of sunset. Dun-I is the highest point on Iona rising
to 332 feet. A small distance from the summit to the West beneath an
overhanging rock is a dark pool called Tobar na h’Aoise--The Well of
Eternal Youth.
Columba lands his craft at Port a’Churaich, Port of the Coracle. He then
climbs the nearby Carn Cul ri Eirinn, Cairn of the Back to Ireland. It is from
this vantage point that he determines that he is beyond the sight of Ireland
that now lies seventy miles in the Southwest. He then buries his craft
beneath the small, round stones of the beach.
Here Columba establishes his colony assuming the roles of abbot, priest,
and administrator. The years and freezing winters are a mixture of intense
solitude and heart felt desire to communicate the Word. There are many
stories from this period about Columba for one of the best biographies
written in this age is about the life of Columba.
For example, soon after Columba’s arrival on Iona, three druids come
demanding Columba leave their Island. They wish to engage Columba in
magical combat. But Columba's response is to welcome them with good
cheer and invite them to dinner. The druids choose to leave frustrated and
outflanked. It is most difficult to pick a fight with a man of great power
whose heart is committed to peace.
Of course, the modern druids tell the above story in another way. They
say that Columba, himself a bard, was welcomed by the druids since they
saw him as one of their own. Nonetheless, Columba did have run-ins with
other druids. For example, Broichan was the Chief Druid to King Brude,
king of the Picks. Broichan told Columba that when Columba next sailed,
the winds would be contrary and storms would come upon him. Columba
replied, “The omnipotence of God rules over all things....”
When Columba was ready to set sail, a crowd came down to watch the
event to see whose magic would prevail. A storm arose and the winds were
against Columba. But when the sails were rigged, the craft sailed off
quickly and with even keel in spite of the winds. And then the winds
changed direction to favor Columba and the rest of the day he was lead by a
gentle breeze.
There are other stories in which Columba offers his personal sword to
redeem a man from bondage or frees a woman whom a druid thought he
could hold by the force of his magic. As we have seen in matters touching
upon spiritual freedom, Columba was not a man who would ever hold back
from accepting a challenge.
Even so, history tells us at night with a cold wind whipping the sea and
penetrating into his solitary monk's cell, Columba prayed at times: “Oh God
I am nothing. I am void. Yet in my emptiness I am here for you to fill.”
And also: “I lie down in the dust and my spirit dies within me.”
It is one thing to set sail upon the sea or enter a battle courageously. To
fight also for a kingdom or to lose it, these are the same actions compared to
this journey: to venture alone into the depths of one's soul. And so Columba
also wrote this lost Psalm that is not so difficult to understand, not so foreign
or strange to our ears when we ourselves set sail in search of the secrets
hidden in our hearts:
A Psalm of Praise
Who will sing this song:
The beauty of the heavens and the earth?
What voice will declare
The beauty and sacredness of our journey?
And who ventures in search of God's heart?
Oh Lord
The nerves in my body
Are the strings of Your harp
And You do play upon them
My pain is deep
The notes You pluck with your fingertips
Lead me through horror and hell
They annihilate my soul
I pass through flames of despair
Burning
In absolute terror I cry
But your fingers play on
They pause not nor hesitate
So skilled are You
You call forth from emptiness and the abyss
From the darkest place that exists
A Song of Bliss
I am reborn through Your Love
Yet you penetrate further--to the core of my being
Beyond my imagination or power of mind to comprehend
To steal from me all that I am
You are the Thief whose purpose is Love
And you hold me in the palm of Your hands
I pass before Your eyes
Naked and alone
To make me part of Your Art of Creation
Lord of the universe
Where is this place you lead me
But the center of Your own heart?
Countless stars whirling in space
Flaming orbs dazzling bright
On countless worlds at dawn
Birds sing in praise of Your Glory
Who can contain such Joy?
And yet You play on
As the tailor threads the eye of the needle
Even so you lead me
Through the center of every heart in creation
To show me that light and darkness
Suffering and joy
Separation and reunion
Are the threads of the tapestry
You weave into a Song of Beauty so great
The universe aches
And strives with all its might
To awake, to rise up
To lift up its voice and join with Your own
I can no longer distinguish my pain from Ecstasy
I open my mouth to speak, to cry aloud
But no sound comes forth-Nothing of myself remains
Only Your Song
I ask of You, my Creator, only this:
May Your hands never cease
From playing upon these strings
For I awake, I rise up
From ashes, from nothingness
To walk by Your side
Through all the images of Creation
Like the prophets of old
I declare also:
All the earth is full of Your Glory.
History also records that Columba spoke these words--“Christ is my Druid,
or, in a better translation, “my Druid, son of God,” from the Gaelic--“mo
drui, macDe.” But less well known is the chanting that went on within
Columba's community late at night. In voices soft, deep, solemn, yet
melodic and filled with delight this song flowed and sank down to be
absorbed by the land and the surrounding sea:
My Druid, Son of God,
In Him do I trust;
This Light within my heart
No darkness can withstand
No fire can endure
No wind disturb
No waters confuse;
My path His Righteousness
My Path His Peace
My path His Joy
My path His Love
History also records that Columba took to meditating on the Hill of the
Angels--Cnoc nan Aingeal. You can’t miss it. The hill is right there to the
South on your left as you walk on the main road across the center of the
island. The Hill of Angels is also just in front of Sithean, the Fairy Mound.
These hills were the center of pagan rituals in the Bronze and Iron Ages.
Columba's meditations there attracted the attention of angels passing in
the distance who then came near and asked: “Who is this mortal who has
turned his face away from the outer world to build a temple of God within
his own body and soul?”
And other angels would answer: “This is the Dove and Wolf of the
church: Like the Dove, his eyes shine with infinite peace; and like the Wolf,
he hungers and stalks. He wants to know more than priests are willing to
teach. The church has already forgotten that the Truth is only found by
listening to God speak from within the stillness of the heart. But Columba is
not as these. He quests in search of God Himself.”
And such was the power of Columba's meditation, on those days when no
angel came to visit him, Columba knew that he was needed elsewhere--then
it was time to turn his attention to the outer world and to whomever came to
visit the island.
And the affairs of the outer world were attended to with great care as he
interacted with kings and princes. Columba, though only rarely returning to
Ireland, became honored as a kingmaker. Angels came to him in the night to
guide his choice as to who was to receive his blessing as the next king. The
fame of Iona spread from that time on through the years so that forty-eight
kings of Scotland, four of Ireland, and seven of Norway would be buried
right there in front of Columba’s monastery along with clan chiefs and
nobles.
Toward the end of Columba's life, a few of his disciples witnessed how
Columba shined with light so bright no candle was needed to light the room
into which he entered. And, at times, even their eyes could not bear to look
upon the brightness of his presence. Approaching a house at night with
Columba inside, even the cracks in the walls burst forth with rays of light
streaming forth and illuminating the surrounding darkness.
Columba, passing beyond the boundaries St. Paul had imposed upon
himself, said there is no more need of belief once you have had the
experience of the Kingdom. Near the very end, Columba said to his disciple
and scribe Baithene that many mysteries have been revealed to him and that
“I beheld His glory! He came Himself to me, and I abode with Him.”
Let us pause for a moment, for such words are easily passed over or
ignored completely by theologians or ministers who never ventured forth to
explore and chart the seas of the heart. Columba’s affirmation and
fulfillment in attaining God’s Presence came only after a lifetime of service
and also solitary contemplations. It was like this: in the decade before
meeting God face to face, Columba would sit upon his hill or in his solitary
cell and call out with these words, “Oh God.” And then he would sit still for
hours on end as if waiting for God to come, for an acknowledgment, or for a
response.
And as this decade drew to a close, when Columba said, “Oh God,” the
meaning of the words changed. They no longer meant, “I am waiting for
You to come to me, to come to me from so far.” Rather, they now said, “I
surrender the purpose of my life and my desire to serve. They no longer
have meaning in the Presence of Your Being. I surrender my name and my
lineage. Who I am and from whence I have come are as nothing. I shall not
use them as a barrier to prevent You from drawing near.”
We may wonder what else a solitary soul can do to let go beyond
surrendering identity, desire, thoughts, beliefs, and doctrines. But Columba
offered even more. Not long before encountering God, his words, “Oh
God,” began to mean, “I embrace the abyss of emptiness and the void of
darkness without fear, for these too are as nothing to You, the Creator.”
And then it came to Columba, the final realization. Columba sat on a rock
on the beach not far from his monastery facing Mull Island. The sun set and
in the twilight the cliffs of Mull began to burn as rays of red light played
upon their slopes. The wind began to die. The white caps on the waves
shrank and then vanished. A group of seagulls cried as a hawk flew through
their midst around the bend.
Columba watched as darkness set in. He then watched the turning of the
stars in the sky. The moon rose, reached her summit, and then began to
descend. Sitting here for hours without thinking, just listening, it was in this
moment that it came to him.
Columba spoke again the words, “Oh God.” But now he went on
speaking aloud. “Why I have never seen this before? You are everywhere
and in everything. The Joy is beyond comprehension. The wind is Your
breath. The water is Your blood. The whole earth is full of Your love.
Your heartbeat causes the sun to rise, the stars to shine, and all lovers to
love.”
And during that night upon that beach on the East side of Iona, Columba
attained what only a few in the history of our race have so far attained--an
inner union with God. And so it is that some would say it was
embellishment, fabrication, or too much praise when men reported that
Columba’s aura was bright enough to light up the night. But you see,
Columba was no longer like you or me. The source of light and darkness
both, the Creator Himself, was alive and thriving in Columba’s heart. Like I
say, this was not belief or faith but direct and personal experience.
Like the taste of infinite peace, the Joy that causes the Creator to create,
or the love that joins all hearts on earth--inner union with God is ecstasy
beyond the power of words to describe. Unlike Balaam, Columba had no
fear of this love.
And so, Columba found the kingdom of God within his soul, the place
where he belonged. Columba would say that this Kingdom is here and now
all around us. It is as near as our own heart and it is more real than any
world into which we are born or from which we depart. When you return
home and truly see it for the first time, as did Columba, you know in that
moment beyond all doubt that the whole world is Divine.
Columba had spent a lifetime sharing the Word. He had established
churches far and wide and guided many into the paths of a new faith. But
the night before Columba departs from life, the bard within himself, the one
who speaks the Word and not just repeats it for the sake of tradition, belief,
or doctrine--the poet gets the upper hand and says aloud this poem of
farewell:
When Death comes
May I greet him with a smile
As an old friend
I know his work, his commission,
I know how he guards zealously the sacred boundaries
Separating the living and the dead
I know these boundaries
I have crossed over them
For love I have died
Entering darkness with no guide
To find and clasp another's hand
To join with another's heart
To enter the Celebration
For which the universe was created-The stars by night are the same
The same sun and moon do shine
But the sea is different
It has no shores
It winds are dreams and visions
Its waves are bliss and ecstasy
Its depths contain Eternity
And I have sailed upon it
My craft awaits me again
Impatient in its moorings
Its sails ready to hoist, to set, to trim
The helm awaits my hand
Soul companions are my shipmates
The fires of stars burning in their eyes
The songs of the constellations
Circle within their smiles
Joy dances in their hearts
But it is not my time to depart
My hands say,
“These palms still contain seeds of light
To be scattered upon the earth.”
My lips and tongue say,
“We taste the air-It stirs, it whispers,
It hovers and drifts in restless gusts.
The air is pregnant:
Light and darkness
The turning of the year
The barriers separating all worlds grow faint
The gateways luminous-The senses perceive invisible wonders
Beyond all natural boundaries
The Earth Herself is here
Waiting for us, her children,
To listen,
To hear the Song-To feel the Fire
To taste the Light
To touch the Joy
To embrace the Love
At the center of our hearts
At the center of the circle
At the center of the universe.”
Listen! Can you hear it?
The sound of countless spiraling stars
Whirling, spinning, colliding,
Sailing on celestial winds?
The wind in the leaves of the trees
The soft rustling
The caress tender
As sweet as any Lover
Her fingers running through your hair?
The sunlight the moon receives
And transmutes into kingdoms of dreams
Each night she sails upon the sea
And like the earth who carries her seeds
Within her visions I dance and sing,
Within her dream I meet my Beloved
Here, at Her touch,
The sun and moon themselves dissolve
Into a brighter light
Day and night join as one
The life animating plant, rock, animal, and tree
Human and Divine being
Returns to its source
To the seed at the center of the heart.
In a dark place
Silence blossoms
Revealing the distances separating and uniting all things.
I hear the Song.
In a solitude pregnant with love
Distances are overcome
And the stars draw near and greet me
As an old friend.
Four Archangels
At Columba's departure to the Other Side, the Archangels of the four
quarters gathered over Iona to consider Columba's life. This is a fair
rendition of their conversation during the sixth century A.D.; or perhaps,
then again, this conversation took place before the foundations of the world
were laid--one can never be quite certain in matters like this where the spirit
runs so deep.
The first Archangel asks: “Are we not now free to reveal the keys to
cosmic wisdom and open the gates to the Atlantean mysteries? Columba has
fulfilled the Divine mission ordered for this age: Through his own initiative
and out of faith, he has created a tabernacle within his soul and heart so that
God can appear on earth. Columba has accomplished more than the
prophets of old--without angelic intervention, through the power of his heart
alone, he has seen with his own eyes that the world is full of God's Glory.”
And the second Archangel says: “In his youth, he hungered for more
than the church was willing to teach. Tormented and tempestuous, his
search led him to pass through the gates and discover Infinite Peace. Now
others shall come forth as did he to find what they seek.”
And the third Archangel asks: “But where, then, shall we place the keys
that they may be found on earth? I would relinquish this knowledge that
belongs not to us but to these mortals who dwell in human form.
And the fourth Archangels says: “If we hide keys in the trees or the
groves, they shall cut down the trees out of fear of the Wiccans and the
Druids. And if we hide them in the standing stones, they shall break and
cast down the stones out of fear of ancient darkness and evil. And if we hide
them in the monasteries or churches, the church of Christ, out of jealousy
and fear of competition, shall destroy them utterly from the face of the earth
as they will one day do with all the libraries of the Mayans.”
Now the first archangel speaks again: “Unless we are called, we may not
appear. We must keep Silence for we are forbidden in this age to interfere.
The keys to the Mysteries and the destiny of this race are for them alone to
find on their own.”
The Witness
Introduction
Prelude—An Historical Note
Chapter 11 of the Book of Revelations
A Few Personal Comments on Church History
God Makes An Offer
Training
The Archangel Michael
Another Request
Modes of Operation
Another Encounter with the Archangel Michael
The Cosmic Dragon
The Archangel Michael and the Consort of the Witness
Postscript
Introduction
The stories in this book start with a brief cosmology concerning the origin of
the universe. From there, I visit Neanderthal, another species who once
dwelt on earth but which is now extinct. I pass on through a mythical
kingdom called Ubarim and then to the legendary kingdom called Atlantis.
Then I enter recorded history where I present the thoughts and experiences
of a few figures such as Jacob, Balaam, Moses, and St. Columba.
To be complete, however, these stories need to be anchored in our own
time if they are going to carry any weight. There has to be an attempt to say
that the world in which we now live also contains a spiritual landscape and
that the mystery of the heart is still alive and well--the quest to discover
wonder and inspiration is as real now if not more so than in any age of the
world.
Yet there is a distinction between mythology and prophecy, between
imagination and revelation. Mythology and imagination can present and
remind us of what is possible. Prophecy can say what by divine decree shall
come to be.
The Prophet Isaiah states: “They shall beat their swords into plowshares,
their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation
neither shall they learn war anymore.” There is no specific time limit on his
prophecy and this is because he presents us with a high ideal, a vision
originating from the heart of God as with Christ’s words: “Blessed are the
peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.”
Prophecies, such as these, involve astonishing feats of imagination. On
the other hand, when imagination speaks in terms of high ideals, of what
arises from the heart of God, the Creator, it may indeed turn into prophecy.
In this case, however, the time frame is open-ended. When it shall appear
depends on human actions. After all, it does not say “God shall beat their
swords into plowshares,” but rather “they shall beat their swords into
plowshares.”
In Mystical Fables, I am making things up or else taking liberties with
history to present my personal vision regarding the heart of the Creator, the
power of the Spoken Word, true love, and the issues of war and peace. In
this regard, I would never dream of trying to prophecy the future, for I am
trying to avoid religion altogether. I am not interested in some Divine
decree other than as I may find it within and express it through my own
heart.
I do not seek to convey some secret, occult lore or esoteric knowledge in
order to captivate, enchant, or control other’s devotion or donations. Rather,
I seek as a poet to speak of the deep issues of the human heart and those also
within the heart of God. As any human being is permitted and able to do, I
use my imagination, my inspiration, and my love as I speak of things.
The Witness
A Few Sayings of the Witness--To love God remains the first commandment. And this commandment
cannot be downgraded, revised, or reinterpreted by adding an amendment, a
postponement, or practical restrictions cleverly designed by church or
clergy.
As with a lover, if you become one with another, you share each other’s
needs and you also seek to complete each other’s purposes. It is this way
with God—you share the secrets of your heart and He in turn shares with
you the mysteries of the universe and creation. The beauty is
incomprehensible.
For this purpose have I entered the world—to create peace and justice where
none exist.
Prelude--A Historical Note
In 586 B.C., the capital of Israel, Jerusalem, fell to the armies of the
Babylonian king named Nebuchadnezzzar. Many of the Jews were then
taken away to Babylon. The Babylonian empire itself, however, was later
invaded and conquered by Cyrus, the ruler of the Medes. The prophets of
Israel left no doubt as to why this occurred. Israel existed for the purpose of
seeking God and making his presence known on earth. At that point in time,
Israel as a nation had failed on all accounts.
Cyrus freed the Jews in 539 B.C. to return to Palestine. He also ordered
them to rebuild the temple to God. Imagine that! A secular king ordering
Jews to do what was God’s will. Furthermore, ordering a search and
reckoning of accounts, he discovered treasures of gold and silver and sacred
vessels that had been removed from the temple in Jerusalem. Those that still
remained he willingly returned to the Jews so that the temple might be built
with all speed.
The account of the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the temple to God, Is this
not clearly recounted in the books of the Prophets Haggai and Zechariah?
Along with Nehemiah and Malachi, these were the last of the prophets to
speak to Israel. After them, the prophetic voice fell silent for five hundred
years. This period void of a divine voice was significant because, for over a
thousand years, nearly ever generation of Israel had a prophet. These
prophets revealed divine visions. And they spoke of justice between the
nations.
What is unique to Israel is that these prophets had higher authority than
any king, for through their voices spoke the words of God. For this reason,
unlike the emperors of China, the Pharaohs of Egypt, or the later kings of
Greece and the Caesars of Rome, these prophets had the power to place
limits on kings’ thrones or even to replace the king if that was what was
required. And if there was a complete failure to comply, as we have seen,
the prophets foretold the destruction of the nation and even gave the dates
when it would happen.
But there was another problem that followed the exile of the Jews in
Babylon. Certain sacred writings of the Jews were lost. These books are
known to have existed because they are referred to in the sacred scriptures
that the Jews still have in their possession. These books included The Book
of Gad the Seer, The Book of Jasher, The Book of the Acts of Solomon, The
Prophecy of Ahijah the Shilonite, The Visions of Iddo the Seer, The Book of
Shemaiah the Prophet, and The Sayings of the Seers. In addition to these,
the one thousand and five songs written by Solomon were also lost to
history.
As a poet of Divine Providence authorized to speak of the beauty and
wonder of the universe, I have taken the liberty of revealing several
selections from a few of these lost books, a few brief sayings that are
pertinent to the themes pursued in my stories. Some theologians claim that
these books were lost because they were not inspired. It is just as easy to say
that they were taken back because the inspiration was greater than what
humanity was able to receive. After all, Christ himself asserted that he could
not teach more because the hearts of his listeners could not bear it.
Let us now visit a few of these lost books. From the seventh chapter of
The Book of Shemaiah the Prophet, it reads, “The Kingdom of God shall
appear on earth as a mighty warrior with a mighty army. And the whole
world shall be astonished at this event. Nevertheless, this mighty warrior
shall not conquer by sword, spear, and siege machine. He shall not rule by
fear.
“He shall defeat his enemies through the power of his dreams. The heart
shall be the battlefield. The soul the place where his wars are waged.
“As peaceful as a lamb in his outer form--gentle, mild, and kind--but at
night, like the lion that he is, he shall prowl, stalk, and search all the earth
for those whom he may devour, for there is no end to his hunger and there is
no limit on his power.
“He searches for those who create fear and terror that he might reveal to
them the abyss from which he has arisen. For of terror and fear, of the void
and also the unknown, uncharted outer darkness, he knows full well--no one
that has been or who shall be in the history of the world nor any angelic
being since the beginning of time shall compare to him concerning his
knowledge of the depths and the mystery of these things.
“Yet he comes neither to destroy nor to conquer but to free. The kingdom
where he dwells is found within every heart. If he has a message to preach,
a single lesson to teach, it shall be that all of us here on earth are each
other’s brothers and sisters, parents and children, lovers, mentors, and
healers. When we discover this within ourselves, we shall behold his
vision.”
And now from another book mentioned in the Bible but lost to Israel—
Israel, the custodial of this wisdom that failed in its mission. From The
Sayings of the Seers, it is written, “The earth shall be filled with peace, the
mountains shall rejoice, the seas shall sing, and the trees shall clap their
hands. All the earth shall come to understand the wisdom of the Most High.
Desire shall be satisfied, need freed, and the heart, haunted by loneliness and
longing for countless ages, shall no longer be bound by sorrow, bondage,
and care.
“We shall be as the angels but in human form. No temple made of stone
or wood will be needed to worship God. No priest, sacrifice, or intersession
required, for God will dwell within each person. For it shall be even as God
intends—the body shall be the outer form of the temple; the soul shall be the
inner sanctuary; the heart shall be the altar; and spirit within each individual
shall be the secret place where each shall see and speak with God face to
face.
“Has this not been what has been intended and ordained to be from before
time had its beginning? And shall this not be the final end? Shall these
things not be accomplished when the Voice of God has spoken it? And are
these dreams not hidden and waiting to be discovered within very heart of
every human being on earth? And so the Sayings of the Seers hereby declare
and it is written here for all ages of the world to hear that we shall be like
unto God, as his children, creating even as He creates.
“Let those who understand keep these visions alive within their eyes like
the stars and moon by night and the light of the sun by day; and these words
of wonder keep ever fresh within their ears like the sound of laughter, of
children at play after the labor of harvest is over and like the sounds of
trumpets and drums during a sacred festival of Joy.”
I imagine it is a good thing that these ancient writings were lost and not
passed on to the Christians. The early church would have blindly lumped
them together with the Gnostics. Perhaps they then would have issued an
edict and commissioned an inquisition to search for these writings
throughout the world and destroy them forever from the face of the earth.
The church would have done this not because it feared the content but
because the church had instituted a policy of not tolerating any teachings
that have the remotest similarity to the theology of its enemies.
Many individuals will immediately object and say that I am exaggerating.
The church has exerted a stabilizing and uplifting influence in Western
history. Be that as it may, it was a Christian bishop who ordered the
destruction of all the writings of the Mayans. After seeing the depths and
knowledge of the pagan understanding, he destroyed their books by fire.
Only three books survived. This is the work of the church, a church that
imagines that survival is more important than faith in God.
Chapter 11 of the Book of Revelations
There are two witnesses described in the New Testament in the Revelations
of John. In Revelations 11:3-12, John mentions that at the end of the age
two witnesses will arise. John uses the word witness rather than just
prophet. Perhaps in part he says this because these two individuals are
slightly different from what has gone before. For one, they will speak to the
entire world. At the same time, they shall have the powers of both of the
two greatest of the Hebrew prophets. They shall have power for three and a
half years to stop rain anywhere on earth, destroy their enemies with fire,
call down plagues like Moses did, and turn water into blood.
The text reads in John 11:3. “And I will give power unto my two
witnesses, and they shall prophesy a thousand two hundred and three score
days, clothed in sackcloth.
“These are the two olive trees, and the two lamp stands standing before
the God of the earth. And if any man will hurt them, fire proceeds out of
their mouth, and devours their enemies; and if any man will hurt them, he
must in this manner be killed.
“These have power to shut heaven, that it rain not in the days of their
prophecy; and have power over waters to turn them to blood, and to smite
the earth with all plagues, as often as they will.”
A Few Personal Comments on Church History
I do not know precisely what motivated the witness to ask what he did in
response to God’s offer to him. But I can present a few personal comments
that may or may not clarify the matter. I am sure you have your own
thoughts on these things that serve you as well as mine serve me.
One Biblical scholar named Schofield states, “Scripture does not clearly
identify these two witnesses. Their power is like that of Moses and Elijah.”
What is of particular interest is that a great display of supernatural powers
accompany their prophesizing. Recall that during his ministry Christ invited
Peter to walk on water. Peter did according to scripture begin to walk on
water but then lost his faith and had to be rescued by Christ. Had Peter not
lost his faith, the history of the church would have been completely
different.
Peter had a lot of great qualities but as you can see he was also a bad
example and, as Christ later pointed out to him, an absolute coward. The
point is that Peter did in fact exercise in human history and as a human being
a faith that enabled him to walk on water precisely in the way that Christ
invited and expected him to do. But then Peter’s faith failed.
Spiritual powers were only rarely displayed by the saints of the Christian
church over the next two thousand years. In fact, the early church fought a
great theological war against one of its heretical enemy, the Gnostics. For
the early church fathers, the life and work of Christ was a real event taking
place in history. The work of salvation was, therefore, to be received. You
based your life upon what was accomplished and acted in accordance with it.
The Gnostics, by contrast, following the ancient mystery religions,
claimed to have gnosis or an intuitive, mystical knowledge to assist them.
For the Gnostics, it is through an inner or soul experience that the individual
rises up and enters the light, eternity, or the spiritual realms.
The main flaw of the Gnostics was that, like many ancient cults, the
spiritual path required placing oneself under the authority of a specific guru
or teacher rather than scripture. The early church with great determination
and energy overcame and destroyed the Gnostic tradition. After many other
theological battles against heretics, the early church managed to solidify its
power base and to precisely define its creed.
But this success came with a price. In attacking heresies like the
Gnostics, the church began a fateful path leading it to attack any and every
effort by which individuals sought an inner union with God based on direct
experience. Even Catholic scholars point out that the church has a longstanding tendency to reject any spiritual practice that resembles the practices
of opposing religions. It goes without saying, then, that all other forms of
experience-based explorations of the spiritual world were also forbidden.
It might have been nice if the early church had the grace and the wisdom
to understand that there is not only church authority but also a spiritual
world to come to know and love. It would have been nice if it had placed
side by side with right belief an emphasis on an inner union with God.
One explanation for this unrelenting hostility to spiritual growth and
knowledge of the spiritual worlds is that the early church fathers were power
hungry--their wills had been contaminated by being exposed to the Roman
Empire. Persecuted for three hundred years, the Christians resolved not be
vulnerable and on the wrong side of temporal power again. In effect, they
identified with their perpetrators by adopting an ecclesiastical hierarchy
mimicking the government of the Roman Empire. And then they solidified
their power further by requiring conformity of thought—one creed—instead
of freedom to follow one’s own conscience in spiritual matters.
This religious and political structure of the early church contrasts
completely with the state of the Jews. Because they had no political power
or nation, they were content to record each other’s thoughts and engage in
dialogue rather than condemnation or excommunication. It is possible to
suggest that the early church did exactly the right thing and that it gets the
highest grades when it comes to establishing a new religion. It is also
equally possible to suggest that the early church failed on all accounts when
it comes to empowering its practitioners to know God.
I say this because in the Sixth century when an individual named
Mohammed ask Christian theologians about what they could tell him about
God the Christians had nothing to say. Like many of our evangelists today,
they have many contemporary issues they exposed with great vehemence.
(In the Middles Ages, one theological question was about how many angels
can dance on the head of a needle). But about God, other than abstract,
conceptual, and doctrinal statements, they knew nothing.
The same is true today. Ask an evangelical Christian about his personal
experience with God and he may say, “I really haven’t thought much about
God. This is the age of grace and our concern is with Christ. The revelation
of God belongs to Old Testament times.”
The questions are, Was Christ bestowing monopolistic powers upon the
church? Was it his intent to set up an exclusive franchise? Is the job of a
mediator to bring together the parties who are in conflict, namely human
beings and God? Or is the job of a mediator to set himself up as an
arbitrator, as the sole and final authority, so that God no longer needs to be
consulted and is, for all practical purposes, excluded from the picture?
From my story about Balaam, based in part upon the Old Testament
scripture, it is perfectly clear that everyone, regardless of belief, intent, or
state of grace, has an absolute right to enter God’s presence. No one can bar
the way if you develop the skill and intent required to make the spiritual
journey.
Consider the command, “Be still and know that I am God.” This is a call
for a direct encounter with God. There is no disclaimer attached written in
small print that declares, “Do not try this at home or on your own without
first consulting with your priest, church, or minister.” This does not mean
that the spiritual journey of entering stillness or knowing God is free of
danger or not subject to error.
Mohammed for one was not content with a lack of direct experience when
it comes to worshiping and knowing God. For this reason among others,
Islam has grown to over seven hundred and fifty millions practitioners. As I
say, it would have been nice if they early church fathers had been able to say
to Mohammed, “Yes, there are those among us who are able to show you the
way to enter God’s presence.”
At the time of Mohammed, the Arabs and Christians worshipped the
same God. But Mohammed also sensed that the Rome based Christianity
was inherently imperialistic, just like the Roman Empire upon which it
modeled its organization. If Christianity had spread among the Arabs, it
would have placed them under the political subjugation of Rome.
The formula is rather simple. You evangelize a people and thereby
supplant, displace, and weaken their indigenous culture. Then you send in
your traders, governors, and military in order to exploit their labor and their
resources. Mohammed was not willing to fall victim to this process so he
decided to go out and find his own visions.
It would have been nice if during the last two thousand years Christians
had come to realize that accepting Christ into your heart and entering the
presence of God produce the same result—an inner union with God. But
this the church has been unwilling to do. The greed of the early church for
political control and monopolistic powers instead of union is alive still.
The two witnesses, if nothing else, turn the tradition of the church upside
down. They stand in the presence of God. According to John, the
appearance of the two witnesses in Revelations herald the end of the world.
Whatever part these witnesses have to play, symbolic as some suggest or as
real as CNN’s daily news, the witnesses fall within the themes I portray—
they represent the power and action of the Spoken Word—original, living
experience--as compared to experience that is second-hand or a word that is
written down.
I have presented these brief comments in order to suggest why the witness
asks for what he does in response to God’s offer. The myth of the quest for
the Holy Grail, which Monty Python has presented with such humor, was an
attempt to renew the church. It suggested that it was possible to have a
genuine spiritual life by actively seeking God.
In more modern times, Soren Kierkegaard, who almost single-handedly
invented existentialism, considered himself to be the gadfly of the Christian
church. He wanted the church to wake up to the idea that faith is something
alive, dynamic, and ever new.
I imagine, by contrast, that the witness is no longer concerned at all with
the Christian church. As a witness and as one who stands in the presence of
God, it is his job to proclaim the truth, and yes, the beauty of the universe, as
well as the mysterious and wondrous purposes that God seeks to fulfill
through it. But I do not know precisely why he asks for what he does since I
have not yet interviewed him in regard to this specific question.
God Makes an Offer
God appeared to a young man in our own time. God spoke and said, “Of all
the billions of people who dwell on earth, you are one of two who not only
seeks to see My face. You seek the reasons why I create. Therefore, ask Me
whatever you will whether it is in the heavens above, upon the earth, or
beneath the earth and I shall grant it to you.”
The young man replied without hesitation or doubt, “So many base their
faith upon what others report. Their eyes see and their ears hear only what
their interpretations and doctrines allow them to believe. I do not wish to be
as these. They do not know the spiritual realities about which they speak.
“Therefore, grant me the ability to see through the eyes, to understand the
thoughts within the mind, and to feel the feelings within the heart of any
being mortal or divine throughout all of creation. In this way, sharing with
others what they have learned from being alive, may I come to understand,
cooperate with, and act to fulfill Your Will in creating the universe.”
God’s reply was simple though when He spoke His Voice rose up from
out of a great void of silence. God said, “Your request is granted.”
Training
When God granted King Solomon his request for wisdom, the wisdom was
not something finished and complete. Solomon had to make an effort to
activate and discover that wisdom within himself. Are not some of
Solomon’s observations and his process for discovering wisdom
documented and written down in the book of Ecclesiastes?
I could say a lot about what our witness did with this ability granted him
by God. If you have read my other stories on Balaam, A’ia, He’adra, and so
forth, you will probably know exactly what I am going to say next. Namely,
the witness began to explore and develop the art of omnipresence based on
his request to God and on God’s gift in response.
What is the practice and art of divine omnipresence in a nutshell? Under
the law of love that governs the entire universe, an individual is free to
become one with anyone or anything in order to serve a higher purpose.
This means an individual is able to think the thoughts, feel the feelings, and
experience the perceptions as well as unite with the inner spirit within any
being in the universe. As space contains the entire universe, love holds
everything in the universe within its heart.
The details of practice or the methods employed to learn this art of
omnipresence will vary in countless ways. The art teacher will say, “As
your pencil moves on the paper, imagine you are touching the body of the
model you are drawing.” This combines empathy and intuition with
perception and artistic, hand-eye coordination.
The acting coach may say, “When you are playing a character, find in
yourself what causes you to act or speak in that way.” Or the therapist may
say, “Imagine you are the other person so you sense the conflicts as your
own.” Imagination reaches out and makes a connection.
Consciousness is not limited by space or time. If trained appropriately,
when you place your mind anywhere or within any being in the universe,
you can learn to observe what is occurring there. The requirement is that
your train your five senses so they become tools in the hands of a master. If
you add imagination to sense perception, you learn to perceive beyond the
boundaries of your skin and location.
The specific gift the witness possessed was his ability to open his mind
and concentrate on anything without becoming distracted. His mind was
like an empty space, an open place, or a void full of nothingness. If you
place anything within it, then it is as if that is all that exists. In other words,
if the witness thought about something, in his mind at least, he could become
what he was thinking about without any thoughts referring back to himself.
And, of course, his awareness was actually there—in and around what he
was concentrating upon.
The contents of what the witness sought to understand and experience
first hand were chosen at his own discretion. Since he loved nature, he sent
his mind into plants and trees, rivers and streams, mountains and deserts. He
loved hurricanes and the jet stream and so he became familiar with these
things.
Over time, he discovered he could sense photosynthesis in trees and how
oxygen was absorbed into the bloodstream of mammals. He could sense the
electro-magnetic field generated as oxygen was absorbed into the body cells
in the process of metabolism. His awareness of breath, breathing, the lungs,
air, and the winds expanded. There were times when he felt he had become
one with the atmosphere of the earth so that he became the breath flowing in
and out of every living being.
For this reason, among other things, step by step the witness developed
power over the winds and the ability to stop rain anywhere on earth for up to
three years. Why, goodness, he could cause a hurricane to turn in another
direction or weaken until it was nothing more than a storm in the time it
takes another person to make a cup of tea after the water is boiling—in about
three minutes. Imagine what he could do if he decided to really concentrate.
If you are going to practice the art of omnipresence, then I am sure you
can imagine that individual consciousness is going to cross over all
boundaries. You can become the sea or the air or enter a waking dream and
perceive the past or the future as if you are actually there.
Have you ever become a mountain in your mind? Engaging in exercises
like this became second nature for the witness. You can spend years hiking
the trails and studying the geology and wild life on a mountain. The witness
could become a mountain in his mind to the extent he could sense every tree
and feel every breath passing through the lungs of its wild life. He could
sense and gauge with his mind the eons of time that gave birth to the
mountain. And he could see how during the seasons, the years, and the ages
the forces of erosion that shaped the mountain’s face.
If you want to enter the spiritual worlds, it helps to explore first human
beings, human history, and the natural world all around us. Then, based on
what you have learned and perceived, you can proceed to understand what is
otherwise invisible to our senses. Do you want to understand the archangel
Gabriel’s outlook on human history? First find in yourself the life that the
oceans of the world have brought into being. Understand their place in
natural history and the role they play in nurturing life one earth. Then the
archangel’s visions will seem friendly and open to your gaze. In this way
you can avoid the illusions and self-deception that befall those who explore
where the dark depths of the visions are too great or too deep.
Do you want to understand the archangel Michael’s intensity of will and
the purity of light he displays? Take some time to unite your mind with
sunlight and fire in every form on earth. Study the way fire transforms
matter and offers mankind the technologies for a new age. Then Michael’s
intensity of gaze and desire to refine will be something you can comprehend
with your mind.
Otherwise, the saint or seer who penetrates into that other world of spirit
will bring back visions and treasures that are a little to fanatical and a little
too blind. His words will have an underlying hysteria or fear that bubbles up
from the depths because his mind is not clear. He will demand that his
followers comply with arbitrary rules. He will say in effect, “Danger,
danger, do not explore on your own. Turn back! Trust me. I alone offer
safety.”
Or, without the capacity to discriminate and discern the specific nature of
what he is dealing with he will insist, “This whole realm of experience is
evil. Avoid it at all costs.” Such is the folly of the weak who have failed to
give their attention to studying God’s creation before venturing into the
realms of spirit.
Over the course of time, the witness learned to penetrate all realms of the
divine. The commission, work, and inspiration of every archangel was easy
enough for him grasp. He saw through their eyes the mysterious and
wondrous visions they perceived. He learned to think the thoughts of
angelic beings that human poets have not even dreamed.
And he felt the feelings that were there at the beginning and that reach
toward the ends. He learned to feel the love in which you become one so all
separation is overcome. The universe is seen as a different place when you
are free to unite with all beings that love. The ecstasy is almost beyond the
range of what the human heart can conceive. To say the very least, this love
grants the desire and power to create the world new in order to express the
beauty you find within and around you.
The Archangel Michael
And God called the archangel Michael before his throne and God spoke and
said, “It is a time of reckoning. Go forth, therefore, and see what part Homo
sapiens have chosen to play in the unfolding of creation.”
As you will recall from the story of Neanderthal, this is not a simple
request for information. What is at stake is the survival of the human race.
If the archangel follows his usual pattern, he will seek out someone to speak
on behalf of mankind. This is not a matter of judging or determining fate.
Rather, when the purpose of a race is determined and fulfilled then that race
no longer requires a physical existence.
Neanderthal’s purpose was satisfied after 200,000 years of living in peace
in quiet communities. Then the race became extinct. They had nothing left
to learn here on earth, at least by their own reckoning.
As was his custom, the archangel replied to God, “Your will shall be
accomplished both within time and within eternity.”
And then the archangel went forth, crossed the void of space and time,
and drew near the earth until his feet set down upon the ground. And he
immediately sensed among the billions not one but two minds that had
penetrated into the mystery of God. Of the two, he chose the one with a
cosmic perspective. Appearing before him, he said, “I am Michael who
stands in the Presence of God.”
The witness replied, “I too have found God within myself.”
The archangel was taken aback. In addition to the clarity within the mind
of the witness, the archangel sensed a cold ferocity unlike anything he had
ever encountered in any mortal being. It reminded him of the certainty and
initiative of one of the seven Lords of Creation. But it was not a will like
that of He’adra, of a cosmic whirlpool that speaks from the core of your
being with the voice of an unknown God who is unseen.
Rather, there was a hint and a taste of a tension in some hidden and
forgotten place in the moment before the universe was created. Gazing into
his eyes, the archangel saw a glint of light that arises from that cataclysmic
moment--a passion like the flames of the sun and a stillness like the void that
encompasses all the stars.
Sometimes wisdom dictates indirectness and discretion when conducting
an interview and questioning someone who has powers which are beyond
you. And so the archangel pulls out all the stops as he speaks with that
celestial voice that bears witness to the magnificence of creation and yet is
gentle and ever so soft, “You who are mortal say you know God. If so, then
answer my questions, for I require your response so the truth might shine
forth. Answer me this:
What is like unto God?
What breath can express His Presence?
Whose voice can sing His songs?
What created thing reflects His Essence?
What image captures His form?
What priest or sage can measure His mystery?
What prophet or mage can comprehend His plans?
Is there an artist anywhere in the universe,
A sculptor whose hands are so skilled,
He can create beauty like unto the beauty
God creates on a billion billion worlds?
Can the creature who is mortal or any created being
Ever understand the Creator who remains unseen?
The witness replies, “No doubt, these are important questions to archangels,
theologians, and such. But you must grant me leave to forego a reply, for as
you must perceive, these are not my questions. I would never pursue or seek
answers for them. I do not desire knowledge after the fashion of philosophy
or experience through analogy. The encounter I require is face to face and
heart to heart. It begins with love, proceeds towards oneness, and then
unites to fulfill a sacred purpose.
“I see your intent—to find a spokesman for my race, to determine by my
words our destiny and our fate.
“Perhaps as an archangel you do not understand the limitations of human
mortality--what it is to be alive and to be surrounded by death on all sides.
Our time here on earth is finite. Our sensory perceptions are conditioned.
Our wills are restricted. To taste life and to feel fully alive we must try to
grasp the highest and the best.
“There is a better question you must ask if you would foresee our future
and understand our past and it is this, how does one unite with God?
The archangel asks, “And what is your answer to this?”
The witness replies, “God is near. He is within each of us. He is also
original and ever new. Therefore, each human being must answer this
question in his or her own way. There is no standard response. There is no
format or template that can define the way. The answer is always unique for
every created being.
“For me, the answer is not a knowledge of the mind. It comes to life in
every moment and it is found through feeling and being fully alive.”
Now the archangel Michael, as any archangel worthy of the name, stands
in the Presence of God. And when he speaks, he speaks with a certain
authority and majesty worthy of the Divine Presence. No archangel would
ever conceive of comprehending God’s plans full and complete. That is, not
if he wishes to represent the light and all that is good and positive.
Nevertheless, an archangel is permitted to test the wills and the motives of
those who fall within the purposes it ordains and the jurisdiction over which
it reigns. The basic principles are always the same—there is no purpose that
shall remain hidden; there is no action that shall not be seen with perfect
clarity and understood in its entirety.
And so the archangel Michael proceeds to ask, “If this is so as you insist
that a common knowledge of God’s likeness does not exist, then I will put to
you another question as a test.
“Other races upon your planet before you were unwilling to make the
journey through darkness and despair in order to ascend. They neither knew
nor accepted God as a friend. Yet whether God is known or unknown, as
you have said, at least it is through feeling fully alive that the five senses
may come to perceive Him.
“The question I now ask you may answer if you can. But I am prepared to
wait and listen. I shall grant you a time and a season. Here, by my order
and my authority, I temporarily postpone the destruction that has been
ordained as judgment for the violence and the injustice of your race.
“Perhaps you or someone else on earth can still meet the needs of a
celestial being whose commission is to purify and refine, to produce a result
that withstands the test of time. As you must already perceive, I am here for
these reasons—I require a race that is willing to ascend and to embody the
mysterious form and image of the Creator. I seek a race that is ready,
willing, and able to venture forth and to journey through time, space, and the
dark domains of the soul until the entire universe becomes your home.
“Once before, one of you did wrestle with me and thereby obtain my
blessing. Through his desire and his will, the prophets were permitted to
appear on earth. Therefore, it is not for nothing that I am commissioned to
seek the essence of your being, your innermost visions and your dreams.
“Answer me this question. Answer it as the spirit that you are and also as
a mortal in human form. But as you have said, you are surrounded by death
on all sides. Your time here on earth is finite. Your sensory perceptions are
conditioned. Your will is restricted. In the end, I will determine the
outcome of my probe not by your words but by the way your life unfolds.
“Tell me, What is the source of inspiration within you that heals the
wounds of your soul?”
In asking this question, the archangel was playing a wild card. The
archangel knew that learning the art of omnipresence comes with a price. If
you are going to unite, you must first stand back so you can comprehend
what you intend. If you are going to open you heart in order to become one,
then it is no small thing to fill the void and the emptiness that inevitably
come up from the depths inside yourself.
The witness thought for a moment as he considered the question. In fact,
in his deliberation he forgot about archangels and celestial beings. He
recalled instead the beauty in life that he had seen. And as he sought for a
response to the probe, it was through the image of God reflected within him
that he spoke:
My mind is the sky-Pure, clear, and open
Its air flows through my chest
Its winds are my breath
My body is the Earth-In me, Her Silence and endurance reach consciousness
Like Her, I shelter and I protect
I am one of Her fruits
I am the strength and nourishment upon which others thrive
The oceans are my magnetism and love
Rivers my bloodstream
Rain my moist fluids
Lightning my heartbeat
Thunder my voice
I am life sustaining and giving birth to life
The volcano and magma at the center of the earth
Are my will and power unfolding
I burn, I consume, I destroy
Yet I heal the broken heart
And bring joy and excitement to life
The turning of the seasons
The circle of the stars dancing
I am Eternity uniting with time
I am the nobility of the sun
Its inner union and fusion of opposites
And through its light
My Song streams forth to the ends of the universe
I am the serenity of the moon
Fluid, malleable, and changing
I am harsh, cold, and empty
I choose the place of your birth
I am warm, sweet, and nurturing
I reunite what is lost
All dreams arise from my light
I am tenderness overflowing from the heart
I am within and I awaken
The seeds of spirit hidden within all things
I am the Celebration of Life
I am the deepest peace within the soul
I only exist to reveal the gifts
Which otherwise remain unknown
And there is nowhere I will not go
To bless or join with those who love.
The archangel was not impressed, for the witness had only passed the first
phase of the test. Michael said casually, “I will drop by from time to time if
you don’t mind.”
“Whenever you wish,” the witness replied.
Another Request
When the witness was done speaking, he watched the archangel slowly fade
away as Michael departed from his gaze. And then the witness thought, it is
not enough to be complete in my spirit—to unite the masculine and feminine
within myself, to nurture and provide as well as to ordain and accomplish
new purposes. What am I missing? He spent the next decade thinking
about that question. And in the end for the answer he turned to God.
Entering the presence of God he said, “After thirty years of developing
the gift you have given me, I find that I am not yet complete. I am still in
need. Therefore, I request another gift.
“I ask, if it is permitted to a human being such as me…. for perfect,
complete, and absolute oneness with a woman so that I may taste while still
in human form the wonders of Your love and the Mystery You choose to
unfold. And also I seek equally the will to create it, the wisdom to
understand and appreciate it, the love to nurture and sustain it, and the
consciousness to manifest it fully so that, as valuable and enduring, it can be
shared with others and be used in service to the world.”
God replied almost with impatience as if exhaling a sigh he had been
holding since before the human race had been created--waiting for someone
to ask for something that was so basic and so obvious. God said casually as
though speaking to a friend, “Three things more than what you suggest are
required for your quest. First, an abyss must be crossed. You wish to skip
the tribulation and the millennium as you progress past my kingdom. You
would proceed directly to the creation of a new heavens and a new earth as
foretold by John.
“I will grant this request according to your faith—if you can stand by My
side and create even as I create. The prophets of old foretold of my will, my
purpose, and my judgment. They spoke with a voice both courageous and
bold.
“But you do not wish to be as these. Though their words were clearly
understood by many, few responded and few obeyed. This is because they
embodied neither My love nor did they know how to use the beauty of the
Spoken Word which is My way of getting things done.
“This is not because they lacked wisdom or understanding. The
knowledge of My Presence and Who I Am were clearly taught in their
schools for prophets—like a mirror, each of you embodies the universe
within yourself: the sun, the moon, the stars, the trees ever so fair, the
mountains, the rivers, the streams, and the seas that sing of My ecstasy; the
winds, the sky, the earth, every being, every creature, and every created
thing—your consciousness can reflect it, contain it, and recreate it. As I
exist, this truth I have already given to your race--the keys and the means to
create even as I create.
“But who shall counsel and inspire you with wisdom and love as you seek
to touch and take into your hands this dazzling wonder and this
incomprehensible power? Therefore, I have asked that all who wish to
master these things apprentice to Me, for the love you seek requires the full
knowledge of My being.
“Though similar, two other requirements remain. There is the void and
also emptiness. The void underlies My omnipresence—to be one with
anything and everything you must accept the universe as it is. Open your
heart and fly with My wings. Embrace the stars and the galaxies, the
planets, and every kind and form of life.
“Learn to touch and to be touched, for My beauty is within all things—the
molecules that combine and divide, the particles that drift in and out of
nothingness, the swirling cosmic dust—there is no fine line between animate
and inanimate, between matter and spirit. When it comes to the universe,
Who could fail to notice that I have placed My love and beauty within it?
“As for emptiness, it is more a matter of time—to see the seed and the
fruit it will one day bring, to behold the beginnings and also the ends. The
womb embraces the universe as it is and also nurtures all things enabling
them to transform and to be reborn.
“Love encompasses all of these—the abyss of time, the womb so open
and receptive it is like a void, and the emptiness of mind that finds a way to
fulfill every desire and need. I am within all things. I inspire and I guide
and there is no end to the love that I Am. Therefore, be as Me and the love
you seek you shall have beyond all belief.
“Day unto day and night unto night, I am within every heartbeat and every
breath, every caress and every kiss. I have created desire and need because
they reveal the path that leads to Me. I have called the stars into being and
also the void, the emptiness, and the abyss to celebrate this wonder—that
love is the origin of all things, the life, and the fulfillment. Discover My
Mystery, the beauty of My face, and the reasons why I create.
“There is one final thing I ask if you want your love to withstand all tests.
It is a practical matter, nothing more or less. Your race has reached a critical
moment in this phase of its development. I need therefore someone to take
the leaders of your world and teach them justice and the ways of peace.
“In particular, take the dictators of the earth—those who abuse their
power and seek to dominate others—take these and make them your
students. Offer them whatever you wish to enhance and accomplish their
purposes on earth. But also demand without hesitation or restraint that they
pursue and establish peace.
“Put forth your full will in this matter and hold nothing back. Set an
example here and now that shall be well known, recorded, and referred back
to for as long as this galaxy exists. Let the mystery of My Being flow
through your hands. Let the beauty within Me through your work stand.
“I ask nothing less than that the work of peace be accomplished on earth
to an extent and depth that other races on other worlds might come to
emulate it, for this is My will that I require your life to express. For as you
have already grasped, love and justice without separation are One with Who
I Am.”
God paused at this point, no doubt for effect. And then He said, as if
speaking from the depths of His heart and with that tone of voice and in that
way that only a lover or God can insist, “I need someone to fully
demonstrate this!”
Mode of Operation
We are now in a position to ask, “Precisely how does the witness accomplish
his task--to bring justice and peace to the world in which he lives?” See,
there is a slight problem with dictators as most individuals who have studied
the matter completely fail to gasp. In some cases, dictators are not just
students but they have already mastered the negative principle that they fully
embrace.
They seek actions and ends that destroy and undermine everything that
grants life and provides well-being. It is not that they do not know how to
be positive, how to negotiate, and work toward mutually acceptable
solutions. They do know how to do these things. They simply choose not
to.
And further, they are immune to inspiration. Light, love, kindness, and
all that promises a better and newer life they find unacceptable. There is no
deep-seated need or root cause of their hatred that you can speak to, placate,
or modify through extended negotiation. They have lived their lives for
many years filled with hatred and being hated. They have converted their
vulnerability and insecurity into a rage that craves absolute power, to
dominate all others. In some cases, freedom and love are things they are
quite willing to use but only to the extent it enables them to abuse others.
Put simply, the positive builds, nourishes, and creates. The negative
destroys, devours, and annihilates. Though this is a rather simple formula,
the degree and intensity of these extremes should never be underestimated.
The witness, being a student of omnipresence, can slip inside the mind of
anyone. Tens of millions of people on earth have this same ability. The
witness just does it to an unusual degree. The radiation of his mind is
equally comfortable penetrating and becoming one with a black hole or a
star, an archangel or an arch demon, the void of space or a galaxy in all its
grace, an animal, a plant, a tree, in fact, any created thing. It makes no
difference to him, that is to say, he accepts and studies the universe as it is.
But with dictators he likes to speak telepathically. He might say
projecting a thought impression directly into the other’s consciousness, “I
can trace every memory in your mind. I feel what you feel: your every
experience with love and with hate, with anger and with shame, with passion
and delight.
“Your motivation, your desires, your inspiration, and your abilities—
these flow through me. There is nothing within you that I do not perceive.
Let us, therefore, consider together whether you wish to bind mankind to
illusions and deceptions, to hate and to fear? Or would it not be better to
make the earth into a place where wisdom, justice, and love are celebrated
forever?
“It is true that you have great conflicts. But this is no excuse for being
negative. I know more about negativity than anyone who has lived on earth.
If you persist in being negative, then you fall under my jurisdiction and I am
free to act according to my own discretion.
“Nonetheless, I speak as your best friend and with the powers and
inspiration I have found at the core of your being. I speak with the voice of
your guardian angel and your eternal guide--Will you not accomplish on
earth those things that bring lasting benefit to others? Or do you wish to
persist in causing harm and using destruction as you aggrandize your power?
“I taste the twelve fruits of the Tree of Life that are for the healing of the
nations. These are part of my delight. I also embrace endless cosmic space,
the great feminine, that contains all the stars and galaxies and that finds a
way to bring forth and nourish life on countless worlds. I know that the
brightest thing in the universe is the explosion of two neutron stars colliding.
It is so bright that for a brief moment its light outshines the light of all other
stars in the universe. This light shines within me.
“I also know the darkness inside the black hole that shall not cease in its
hunger or grow less in its power until the universe comes to an end. I have
entered it and made it my friend. It responds to my will when I call.
Nothing is hidden from me.
“In this moment, I am one with you. I am also one with a sea of infinite
peace. You must choose for yourself your own path in life. I will not
interfere with your will.
“But make no mistake. I can offer you unimaginable wealth. But if you
choose to test my resolve on these issues of peace and justice, I will require
an accounting for your actions.
“I will suspend time, accelerate your karma, and present you with the
final result of your actions in the moment when you least expect it.
Therefore, choose light, love, wisdom, and service that the nations of the
earth might transform their war machines into hospitals, schools, and
productive activities.”
Perhaps bearing on this issue of teaching something impossible, a Zen
master once said, “The answers of my students who master a koan are
always different and yet always the same.” Like the Zen master, the witness
gave his new students an exercise, an enigma, a puzzle, a contradiction
beyond the ability of the rational mind to define. You could say he turned
their quests for power into a life koan. His task was to create an
environment where they could discover their own illumination.
Those who embody pure negativity as well as black magicians have
something in common. It is not their evil or their malice or their desire to
dominate others. Rather, they have lost their sense of the beauty and wonder
of being alive. Often negative individuals do not learn because the
consequences of their actions in their full force do not occur during their
lives.
To this end, the witness sometimes enters the dreams of his students and,
amid the dreams, he shows them their actions and the results. And then,
once awake, a certain uneasiness follows them through the day. It is as if
someone is standing nearby throwing tiny pebbles that hit them just outside
normal perception. Like a bully on a playground who senses he is being
watched, a dictator hesitates to abuse others even though that is what he
wants. The witness sometimes thinks of himself as a monitor on a school
playground who reminds the bullies that he is watching them.
And if dreams are not enough, well, dreams can become real. Those
around a dictator sense that a great darkness is pursuing their leader and is
ready to swallow him whole. Trusted loyal subjects begin to plot against
him because they despise him. They know they must choose another way in
order to avoid the same fate. Like a bad smell that will not go away, they
sense there is something terrible wrong with the dictator and this unease
becomes impossible to ignore.
Like the ghost of Christmas future, the witness can show others what is to
be in a dream or by reflecting it back through others’ eyes. His authority,
that is, his ability to accomplish this is such that without fabrication or
exaggeration he can say, “Choose to do justice upon the earth or else walk
beside me on a path that leads to absolute annihilation. I will not interfere
with what you choose, but I will constrain you so your negativity only
devours yourself. It is for this purpose that I have entered the world.”
The consort of the witness once asked the witness about his work, about
how well he thought he was doing. He replied, “I am still an amateur when
it comes to accomplishing peace on earth.” She asked him then with a
gentle laugh as she turned his words around, “When will you be a
professional?”
He immediately said, “You will know I am no longer an amateur when
the worst dictators on earth take time off from running their countries to
teach kindergarten on television. They will guarantee prenatal care for every
woman in their nation. And when there is a national disaster, an earthquake,
a famine, or a disease, they will turn aside from their cabinet meetings
saying, “I must go myself to take personal charge of the relief efforts.”
A good teacher can inspire by sharing what is within his heart,
communicating by speaking through the student’s own experience. It is safe
to say that the witness became adept at speaking to dictators and terrorists in
their own terms using the kind of persuasion they respect. And during a
conversation, he had a way of turning a moment into years or compressing
years into a moment by the silent depths that were reflected in his eyes.
With the witness, there is no need to die to see your own life flash before
your eyes. This was another of his gifts. It was as if he could take someone
aside right in midst of his busiest activities. He enabled the individual to
look back at his life from a distance of a few years, a few decades, or a few
millennia.
And then he would ask, “Have you figured out yet anything you could
have done different in order to get the most out of life? Or do you need
some more time—a little taste of eternity--to introspect and to examine your
conscience?” It is interesting to watch him as he uses the powers of space
and time and the deepest attractions, the full spectrum of desires, to help
others clarify and to arrive at their best decisions in life.
Another Encounter with the Archangel Michael
Michael stopped by one day as he said he would do. The witness turned to
him and said, “Welcome. I have been expecting you.”
The archangel proceeded directly to the question under consideration. He
said, “I have taken notice of your actions. You move with a certainty and
level of conviction I have never observed among the members of any race
this side of creation.
“The way you cause wars to dissolve and the doctrines of peace you
espouse arise from visions I have never seen. You seek to accomplish more
than even I have dreamed.
“And so I ask, ‘By what commission do you design and construct a new
purpose for your race? By what authority do you intervene to create justice
where there is none? Peace where there is war? To bind the human race to a
destiny that it has not conceived?’”
The witness replied, “When I was young, during the worst time of my life
and possessed by a dark vision, no one came to rescue me. It was later on
only after I had made an absolute commitment to the light that I was offered
visions of how to fulfill what I had found within my heart.
“But this darkness was also a gift. The silent winter of the soul that I
survived spoke eloquently to me. Its voice said, “This is your time to find
your own inner vision of the truth of the universe. The procedures you
follow, the paths you take, and even the definition of what you seek must
from come from your own heart. There is no other way that guarantees the
best results.’
“Furthermore, others had already gone before. Their stories, gospels, and
wisdom clearly said, ‘That we surrendered all attachment and passed
through the extremes of abandonment should have been obvious--nearly
impossible to miss—to anyone who reads the stories of our lives in the
scriptures set down for all time.’
“The silence I endured at that time, the loneliness, and darkness I entered
were given to me to fulfill a sacred purpose. To enter the presence of God is
also to stand within a place that has no definition. It has no boundaries, no
forms, and there are no images to support the imagination. In order to
embrace the highest light it is necessary to pass through the darkness inside
oneself. But darkness cannot constrain a heart that loves or a spirit that is
free.
And then there is a small matter of inspiration. When I listen, I can hear
the song of every star in this galaxy. And further, beyond this wondrous,
whirling, living being that is our galaxy, I can hear the song of every galaxy
in the universe. The beauty is incomprehensible. By comparison, my
contribution to the human race is next to nothing. It is the least I can do.”
Having found the answer to his questions, the archangel turned away and,
crossing the threshold separating the worlds of form from those of spirit, he
disappeared from mortal vision.
Cosmic Dragon
One day the cosmic dragon appeared as if from nowhere, from out of thin
air, and placed his feet on the ground in front of the witness. The malevolent
spirit said, “I am the embodiment of all hatred, malice, and evil as you can
plainly see.”
The spirit speaks almost thoughtfully, slowly, as if contemplating
something special and rare that he was about to cast down and shatter on the
ground. He says, “I have noticed the flight of your spirit and the range of
your plans. I am sure you can understand when I say that to proceed further
you will have to get past me.”
The spirit goes on now with a quicker pace and more cadence in his voice,
“You see, you cannot hide from me. I know who you are. Your identity is
perfectly clear—you are one of the two lamps that stand before the presence
of God. But I shall put your light out or cause it to be so dim that not even
your closest friends will recognize your power, honor your visions, or
understand your heart.”
The witness replies, “You say you know who I am. I will share with you
now my true identity. Come with me.”
And so saying, the arch demon and cosmic dragon is caught in a unique
space-time continuum, a whirlpool whose force and power are beyond the
power of mind to comprehend.
A moment later, the dragon asks, “Where is this place you have taken
me?”
The witness replies, “Where we are now is outside of the universe as you
know it. Here is final oblivion—absolute separation from the rest of the
universe forever. Here light will never shine. There is no communion with
another heart or mind. Even terror and fear cannot measure the depths of the
despair that is everywhere. Here is nothingness, emptiness, and an unending
void. Not even one molecule or atom of matter is to be found anywhere.
“As you have noticed and can readily see, this place is easy enough to
enter. It comes round whenever I call. It is leaving that presents a difficulty.
You could say that to find a way is impossible—it is something that cannot
even be imagined.
“But I freely offer you the key you can use to flee, an escape route that
follows a secret path out. This I will do for you since so few make the effort
to seek me out and to share with me their heart. It is simple enough--you
must let go of all attachment. Let your identity dissolve. You must become
nothing at all—which is another way to say—perfectly enlightened.
“This place is the cauldron that produces one product—perfect, complete,
and absolute freedom. It requires that you become pure compassion with a
heart so vast it holds the universe within itself. Such a heart is like the void
of space that encompasses all the galaxies and yet calls forth and nourishes
life on countless worlds. This is my heart, my love, and it is who I am and
how I define myself.
“You are now free to go. I release you from my hold. But if you chose to
interfere with my work on earth, after I have given this warning in regard to
your fate, I will draw you within and hold you in this place forever until like
me you come to see that only oneness exists—the only true purpose in the
universe is to offer assistance and to be of service to each other.”
In the next instant, the cosmic dragon finds himself sitting on a rock on
one of those undiscovered planets that revolves unseen around our sun out in
the OorK Cloud far beyond Pluto. There, he puts his face in his hands and
weeps. And this he did not out of fear but because for the third time in
human history he can see so clearly that the Creator’s plans are proceeding.
Another one of His children has mastered in full measure one of the notes
with which God’s voice has sung the universe into being. To say that the
beauty he has confronted is the annihilation of malice, terror, and fear would
be to understate the reality.
The Archangel Michael and the Consort of the Witness
One day, after the archangel Michael was done speaking with the witness,
the consort of the witness called to the archangel as the archangel was
turning to depart. She said, “As you have already noticed, the witness is
sometimes a complete fool. He competes with authority figures to see if he
can find where they are blind so as to discover the light within their minds
that they cannot define. Seeing what others cannot see is one of his gifts.
“Nevertheless, if it is not too much to request, I desire to know what you
will say to God concerning the fate of the human race. The unfolding of life
is one of the things I cherish and seek to protect.”
The archangel glanced at her face and saw why the witness loved her.
The fire in her eyes, like the light of the stars at night, spoke of truth eternal,
pure and without compromise. And so he replied, “I will neither confirm
nor deny, accept or reject the decisions your race has made through the ages.
Nor do I judge the paths your race has chosen that have brought you to this
place.
“In my report to God, I will say, ‘At last, in this galaxy we have finally
found a race that comprehends that fate and destiny are something it can
create from out of the visions of its heart and the powers within its hands.’
“If there are but one or two who are willing to pursue the divine arts
without restraint, then the light that shines from them, like seeds, shall
inspire and spread until your entire race ascends. Peace making, like the
work of reconciliation and love, is one of the highest of the divine arts. It
ranks among the purposes for which this universe was created. The two of
you, by becoming one, bare witness to these truths.”
Postscript
There are, of course, not one but two witnesses. The other one, it turns out,
is a woman. More and more women in our age are becoming quite
independent. I am sure you can understand if this female witness gets upset
when governments or religions turn members of her gender into slaves.
After all, was not the divine work and mission of her predecessor, Moses, to
emancipate slaves held in Egypt? I understand she has already begun (I
know of one case) to cast famines upon certain lands.
I would prefer that a woman write about her or that she speak with her
own words about her work on earth. Men have their hero’s quest. For
thousands of years we have only the male version of the quest for union with
the divine parents, namely, with a masculine God. For this reason, men
seem to suffer a curse when it comes to understanding the depths of
feminine spirituality. They do not even know where to begin.
I will say one thing, however. Though the male witness has no equal
when it comes to mastery over the winds, the female witness has a similar
power when it comes to control over water. But it is not just water she can
turn to “blood,” but also any liquid and this includes hydrocarbons. The
price of a barrel of crude oil may run between twelve and thirty-two dollars
on the open market. But the price of a barrel of “blood” is about zero. No
one would even bothers pumping it from the ground.
I am sure it will be perfectly clear to everyone that this witness might get
a lot of people around the planet upset—as John has foretold--should she
decide to turn the world’s economy upside down. Or, then again, maybe
emancipating women and caring for children—instead of killing the
opposition and building palaces around a country--are ideas whose time has
finally come.
But I can only guess about how these things will unfold. After all, I am a
poet. These two witnesses operate under a different commission than the
one I have been granted.
Conclusion
When Jerrod enters the wizard’s tower, the wizard calls to him from the
second floor. Climbing the winding staircase, Jerrod goes through the door
and sees the wizard sitting in a chair that seems to float in a place in outer
space. A galaxy surrounds the wizard shining with the reds, greens, blues,
and violets of billions of stars. There is indescribably rich detail displayed
in the clusters and spirals.
The wizard says, “Oh come in. There is nothing to be afraid of. Think of
this as a holographic representation of the spiral galaxy astronomers have
named M100.”
As Jerrod steps forward, the galaxy alters its position so that Jerrod finds
himself walking amid its spiraling arms that rotate in and through him and
the wizard.
Jerrod asks, “Is this accomplished through human science or is it derived
from some alien technology?”
The wizard replies, “Don’t let questions about technique distract you from
the beauty you perceive. This galaxy is one of the most beautiful things in
the universe--a spiral galaxy with its hundreds of billions of stars laid out
before your eyes. I love beauty and this particular galaxy is one of my
sources of inspiration.”
“Jerrod, I have talked enough about history and the origins and ends of the
human race. It has been fun to just let go and share my innermost thoughts
and feelings about love, life, destiny, and other things. But it is time for me
to get back to doing the things wizards do and letting you get on with your
life.
“I do have some final words of advice, advice I would never give
concerning a specific choice. But there are, nonetheless, a few general
comments I can make about the relation of the genders.
“In our times, femininity is maligned. This is because for the last six
thousand years women have sacrificed their femininity by allowing men to
have power over them. They have sought to empower the male point of
view in order to gain control over nature. Women did this so life would not
be so blind and plagued by needless suffering.
“Now, women demand repayment for their sacrifices. They want nothing
else than to do all the things that men do: They scale the highest mountains
on earth. They sail into outer space as astronauts. They teach physics,
mathematics, and astronomy. They are elected presidents and serve as
generals. They pilot B1 bombers and work on atomic submarines. They
march in step with men on every count. It is no wonder that they are
impatient. They have certainly waited long enough.
“Yet this means we are six thousand years away from understanding
feminine energy as it was meant to be—as beautiful and powerful in its own
right. History could have taken a different turn. We might have pursued
feminine love and magic on its own terms and allowed masculine power to
be diminished and hidden down through the ages. But this we did not do.
“In part, your obsession with woman is nothing else than seeking what
has been lost to both men and women to the same degree. Listen to me. It is
not enough to find a feminine counterpart to balance your masculinity. You
must accomplish now what women have failed to seek or to find in
themselves. I am a man and I cannot speak for women. But I can speak for
myself and from my own experience-“Listen to the flowing stream, the river with its dreams, the waterfalls, the
spray of waves breaking on the beach, the mist cloaking the fields at dawn,
the fog invading the shore at twilight, falling rain dropping through leaves,
the underground stream, the cold, still water in the well and in the frozen
pond, the seeping water beneath a mountain, the glacier and the icicle too.
Add to this the magnetic fields of the seas and of the earth. Make these
images and energies a permanent part of yourself.
“This is the feminine energy you seek and not only the woman’s womb
where you seek to leave your seed and her breasts that offer comfort and
nourishment. Embody in yourself the beauty of the universe with its love
and grace. To be in love with and one with a woman is to be in love with
and one with the universe. For me, these two are one.
“But be warned. My understanding is both a blessing and a curse. It is a
path to enlightenment. It is a key to the mystery of the universe and of how
to create the world anew. It is the dream in which I live and the vision that
uses me to shape and express itself.
“I cannot tell you anything more for now. I would not recommend my
way of life to anyone else. It is too full of suffering. Perhaps the ancient
bards who sing new mythologies into being or who train for years in
darkness in order to perceive the mysteries of light would be comfortable
with my life.”
Jerrod says simply, “Can’t I just come by once a week and we can talk or
else I can help out around the tower, you know, washing your dishes,
dusting your books, picking up all the stuff you leave lying around? Your
library at least needs a librarian. I can put things in order so you can finally
find a book when you want it.”
The wizard replies, “No Jerrod, it is time to say good-bye, at least for a
time.”
“But master,” Jerrod laments, “there is so much you are not telling me
about yourself. I haven’t a clue as to who you really are or what and how
you do the things you do.”
The wizard says with a calm voice as if speaking on behalf of the young
man he once was so long ago and who returns to speak through him now, “ I
will tell you what you have perhaps failed to grasp. I am madly in love with
the universe. She is my mistress. Her beauty is incomprehensible. I love
her with all of my heart and soul. And because of my love she enters my
dreams and shares with me her mysteries.
“I am man possessed and obsessed. I crave to see the face of my lover
more than any Christian saint in history has desired to see the face of God.
But my situation is nonetheless terrible--when She visits me, I die and am
reborn in that very moment. The only thing that saves me from annihilation
and despair is that I see Her everywhere and in everything. I can even see
Her in you seeking to awaken and that is why I have taken the time to share
with you my stories.
“But such inspiration is far too dangerous to transmit from one person to
another. You must undertake your own quest if you wish to find this beauty
within yourself. She is like the goddess Dawn who forces us to see the
world as something pure and original that is reborn in each moment. Each
of the individuals I have told you about in my stories has been touched by
Her in a special way. If you would experience Her touch, you must seek and
find Her for yourself. No woman can do this for you. No wizard, prophet,
or mage can guide you. Now go. I have nothing more to say.”
It is a perplexed and yet inspired young man who walks down the path
through the darkness. He still does not know how to solve his problem. But
he knows now a solution will present itself.