Section B Writing
TestZone
Level 2 mini Writing test
In this test you need to apply what you have learned in this chapter.
For one of your birthday presents you have been given two vouchers to do a
parachute jump. This includes a day’s training, equipment and the actual
jump. You want a friend to go with you.
Write a letter to a friend persuading them to join you in this adventure.
Remember to:
• be persuasive
• think about choosing the most appropriate writing style, register
and tone (you could mix informality, formality, humour, etc. in a letter to a
friend)
• be aware of the way you construct sentences
int: complex sentences can be interesting and compelling but short, sharp,
H
simple sentences can also be very effective.
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TestZone
Student sample answers
Here are three student responses to the Writing test on page 109. Read the answers
together with the examiner comments. First, remind yourself of the task.
Student A Pass
3
Salutation is fine but lacks comma.
28 Bexley Street
✓ Oxford
Dear Sophie✓
I would be delighted if you would join me to go parachute jumping for
my birthday.✓ Everything is paid for as I recieved two vouchers
off my aunty Jean for my birthday present. ✓ The day includes
training, equipment and the actual jump. The training will be with
professionals. ✓
Address is evident as
part of a letter frame
Good opening sentence, fluent,
succinct, good vocabulary.
Information clearly expressed,
common spelling error.
Ideas clearly expressed,
effective short sentences,
spelling error.
It will be amazing learning how to parachute jump, you could use this
in later life or even become our hobbie! ✓ What a thrill it will be
jumping out of a plane being so close to death, your heart beating
so fast it feels like its going to jump out of your chest. ✓Then
when you pull the trigger and you know your safe but you can’t help
your pulse rising in excitement.✓
Persuasive words and
ideas, appropriate use
of exclamation mark.
I have chosen you because I know you love action and doing
dangerous things and because you are a good friend and always
there for me. ✓ Doing this will make our friendship, knowing we
can trust each other. ✓ Doing this together will be the greatest
achievement of our lives and all our friends will be so jelous that we
went and they didn’t. Just imagine the look on their faces.✓
Well, hope to hear from you soon. Please say you’ll come.✓
Lots of love
Holly✓
Evocative and persuasive ideas,
vivid image created, valid and
effective use of conjunction
to begin the sentence; the
construction is not quite right,
spelling error – ‘your’.
Informal but
valid sign off
Effective change of tone;
persuasive, ends on a
cliché.
Develops personal
persuasion,
emotive content.
Spelling error – ‘hobbie’
Sophisticated construction,
reflective, persuasive, good
use of tense, ‘its’ error.
Links personal persuasion with the
scaffolding idea, spelling error.
Rounded, valid and
effective conclusion.
Examiner comment
The letter shows evidence of a letter frame; the register mixes formality and informality successfully and
appropriately. Ideas are communicated with clarity and success. Material is organised. Complex ideas and
images are evoked. Clearly addresses the audience in a persuasive and engaging way. Sentences are varied and
constructed to enhance meaning. Secure grammar. A few spelling errors. The writing is Band 3 for content with a
mark of eight and Band 3 for accuracy with a mark of five. The overall mark of 13/15 would achieve Level 2.
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Student B Borderline
37
Hey Carry ✓
For my birthday my mum bought me two vouchers to go
parachute jumping. ✓ Im allowed to take a friend and
I was wondering if you would like to come with me.✓
Everything is paid for, so you wont need any money or
nothing. ✓The trainings meant to be really good, it will
be amazing!✓I thought I’d ask you because I know you
like these kind of things and I mean can you imagine any
of the others doing this?✓ Aparently you get like a
certificate after you’ve done it, it’s a once in a lifetime
oppertunity . ✓ I hope you can come, I’d really like to
spend the day together, it will be a right laugh.✓
Write back soon
Gemma
Some further information; spelling errors.
No address attempted,
which is required even
in an informal letter to a
friend; informal salutation
lacks punctuation.
Basic information clear.
Purpose of letter clear,
missing apostrophe.
Further information
given; weak expression.
Attempt to persuade;
missing apostrophe.
Friend directly addressed;
persuasive idea;
compounded sentences.
Informal conclusion; missing ‘us’.
Examiner comment
The letter mixes formality and informality, though the informality is rather colloquial. The
purpose of the letter is clear and there are some persuasive aspects to it; but the ideas are not
well developed. There are few complex ideas. There are no paragraphs and the letter format is
incomplete. There are some spelling and punctuation errors but it is mainly accurate. The writing
fits Band 2 for content with a mark of five and Band 2 for accuracy with a mark of three.
The mark of 8/15 is borderline and indicates that the student would need further work on
aspects of the writing to attain Level 2.
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Student C Fail
7
No address or date
offered; the name of the
friend should be used.
Dear Friend✓
For one of my birthday presents I got vouchers to do a parachute
jump and I would like you to have my other voucher and come
parachute jumping with me everything is already Paid for and the
Training will be really good!✓ it will defiantly help us with the
jump, it will be great if you haven’t done this evan if you have it will
be really good I cant wait to do it. ✓ I have asked you because
you are Fun and isn’t scared of try new things.✓ And your not
scared of heights. ✓ You will be really proud of yourself because
you will be daring yourself to do it everone of your friends will be
jelous because you had the chance✓
loads of love
This sentence should be
incorporated into the previous
one for clarity and grammatical
accuracy; common error with ‘your’.
Sentence demarcation
needed; spelling errors.
Information given related to the
topic in the task; the request is
made; weak sentence structure;
misuse of capitals; appropriate
use of exclamation mark.
Capital ‘I’ in the first ‘it’ needed;
‘definitely’ misspelled; ‘even’
misspelled; there should be
three sentences demarcated
in this section or a wellconstructed complex sentence.
Misplaced capital in
‘Fun’; agreement error;
‘try’ is incorrect.
Examiner comment
The student has understood the task and presented information with some persuasion.
Although the letter is to a friend, it remains a functional communication and requires a letter
format and salutation. The readership of the letter is only partly clear and the writing lacks
development.
The content of the letter would be in Band 2 with a mark of four. The writing shows ability only
in Band 1 of the accuracy part of the mark scheme with a mark of one.
A total mark of 5/15 would not achieve Level 2.
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