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All Rights Reserved © 2014
2012
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands
which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate
and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of
Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the
opinions of mankind requires that they should declare
the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men
are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these
are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to
secure these rights, Governments are instituted among
Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the
governed…
Not a bad start for a brand new country! You can hear
greatness in these words! If you want to read the whole
thing try the PassTimes website or go to:
PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC - [email protected] - 480.983.9143
THE BIBLE IS FOR THE PEOPLE; THIS IS THE GREAT PRINCIPLE OF PROTESTANTISM
PAMPERED COWS PRODUCE SPOILED MILK
BY PERSEVERANCE THE SNAILS REACHED THE ARK
MY FRIEND RECENTLY GOT CRUSHED BY A PILE OF BOOKS, BUT HE’S ONLY GOT HIS SHELF TO BLAME
LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE, IT’S VERY HANDY
SANTIFY THE PEOPLE WITH THE TRUTH
¥ It was Martin Luther King Jr. who made the
following sage observation: "In the end, we
will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
¥ If you head up to the top floor of the U.S. Supreme Court building, you'll find a basketball
court. It's known, of course, as "the highest
court in the land."
¥ Those who study such things say that goats have accents.
AT TIMES INACTIVITY IS PREFERABLE TO MINDLESS FUNCTIONING
¥ In Germany in the 1500s, a court physician by the
name of Oswaldt Gabelthouer wrote a medical book
full of remedies that he guaranteed would be effective. For insanity, the patient must cut his or her
hair close to the head, then tie two halves of a ram's
liver to the head. A severe case of epilepsy, he
claimed, could be cured if the patient wore the right eye
of a wolf and the left eye of a she-wolf on a thong about
the neck for three months; also, the patient had to forgo bathing during that time. There's no mention in the record at
hand of how a patient would go about redeeming the guarantee.
¥ If you're suffering from xanthodontia, don't worry; a dentist
can help whiten those yellow teeth.
¥ During the filming of the
classic film "The Wizard of
Oz," the dog that played Toto
was paid $125 per week. In contrast, the actors who played the
munchkins were paid $100 per
week -- and their manager,
Leo Singer, kept half of
that.
***
Thought for the Day: "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."-- George
Bernard Shaw
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
WHAT’S THE BEST PART ABOUT LIVING IN SWITZERLAND? NOT SURE, BUT THE FLAG IS A BIG PLUS
NONE ARE MORE UNJUST IN THEIR JUDGMENTS OF OTHERS THAN THOSE WHO HAVE A HIGH OPINION OF THEMSELVES
HERSHEY BECAME FAMOUS ONCE HE ADDED MILK TO CHOCOLATE
I LOVE LIFE - I JUST WISH I WERE BETTER AT IT
WARNING - DON'T GET SCAMMED.......
Microsoft says the number of telephone scams involving fake Windows support technicians is on the rise. That means more criminals
are duping legitimate Windows users out of their hard-earned money. Most of the scams involve cold callers claiming to work for
Microsoft. In this scenario, the victim is told that their computer is
infected with damaging malware, Oftentimes the calls originate
overseas - usually from India, with the caller having a thick accent.
MELBA TOAST IS NAMED AFTER OPERA STAR NELLIE MELBA
In many cases, scammers point to harmless or low-level log errors
in an effort to convince the victim that their computer is infected.
Scammers then ask for money for a one-time "fix". These scams are
becoming far more prevalent as time goes on.
"There are no signs of this scam slowing down," noted a Microsoft
customer service executive. "These scammers are targeting not only
individuals but also businesses." Windows users can take several
steps to protect themselves from these scams.
First: if you receive an unsolicited phone call about your computer hang up immediately. If you stay on the line with a suspected scammer, listen carefully -- does the caller know or understand your system specifically? If not, hang up the phone.
Secondly, you should avoid giving out personal information, such as
phone numbers, addresses, or credit card data.
ANCIENT EGYPTIANS SLEPT ON PILLOWS MADE OF STONE!
If you are called, US residents can report the incident by calling the
MSN's help desk at 1-800-426-9400, or the FTC at (202) 326-2222.
For its part, the FTC says such reports "help us and our law enforcement partners detect patterns of fraud and abuse." Microsoft adds
that scammers tend to get quite belligerent when they don't get their
way. It's a type of behavior most legitimate Microsoft customer representatives avoid at all costs.
Remember: Most reputable companies will not call you they will ask that you go to
their website concerning any problems.
Tips & Tricks from Bits n' Bytes Computers
NO ONE IS SO MISERABLE AS THE POOR PERSON WHO TRIES TO MAINTAIN THE APPEARANCE OF WEALTH
A DETECTIVE STORY
It was a beautiful spring afternoon
and three little old ladies were attending the season opener of their
favorite baseball team. They had
taken a 50 mile bus trip, traveling
south by southwest and transferring twice, they get there just as the
first pitch is thrown.
They settle into their seats and each orders
one soft drink from the vendor. The trio are
obviously intent upon having the time of their
lives.
One of the women had smuggled a fifth of whiskey into the
park and the three women began to liberally lace their pop
with the contents of the bottle. The game is real exciting and
before they realize it the bottle is almost gone and the game
doesn’t seem close to ending. In fact, shielding their eyes from the setting sun, they
can see the scoreboard showing the
game tied 9 - 9.
Now, based on the information
you have been given answer the following
two questions:
A) What inning is it and
B) How many players are there on
base?
The answer is so obvious you won’t
believe you didn’t get it right away…
Answer: It’s the bottom of the fifth and the
bags are loaded.
THE TENNIS TERM LOVE COMES FROM THE FRENCH WORD ‘L’OEUF’
I KNOW WHY SOME ANIMALS EAT THEIR OWN CHILDREN
TWO FISH ARE IN A TANK. ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND ASKS, “DO YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING?”
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
¥ On July 9, 1777, New York elects Brig. Gen.
George Clinton as the first governor of the independent state of New York. Clinton's career was marked by his hatred of British
loyalists, called Tories. He kept the
public's tax burden low by confiscating and selling land belonging to Tories to
maintain state coffers.
¥ On July 7, 1865, Mary Surratt is executed for her role as a
conspirator in Abraham Lincoln's assassination. Surratt's
boardinghouse, a few blocks from Ford's Theatre, where Lincoln was murdered, served as the place where a group of Confederate supporters conspired to assassinate the president.
¥ On July 8, 1898, notorious con man "Soapy" Smith is murdered in Skagway, Alaska. Smith earned
his nickname "Soapy" selling bars of
soap wrapped in blue tissue paper.
He promised crowds that a few
lucky purchasers would find a $100 bill
wrapped inside the $5 bars of soap.
PRAYER IS AS NATURAL AN EXPRESSION OF FAITH AS BREATHING IS OF LIFE
¥ On July 13, 1951, rivers across eastern Kansas crest well
above flood stage, and 500,000 people are
left homeless. Two million acres of
farmlands were lost. In addition, the
flooding caused fires and explosions
in refinery oil tanks on the
banks of the Kansas River.
¥ On July 11, 1960, novelty
song "Alley Oop" tops the Billboard pop chart. Alley Oop
was the name of a time-traveling caveman in a comic strip of
the same name created in 1932 by cartoonist V.T. Hamlin.
¥ On July 12, 1984, Walter Mondale, Democratic presidential
candidate, announces that he has chosen Geraldine Ferraro as
his running mate, the first woman nominated by a major party
for the vice presidency.
¥ On July 10, 1992, the Alaska court of appeals overturns the
conviction of Joseph Hazelwood,
the former captain of the oil tanker
Exxon Valdez. Hazelwood, who
was found guilty of negligence for
his role in the massive oil spill in
Prince William Sound in 1989, successfully argued that he was entitled to
immunity from prosecution because he had
reported the oil spill to authorities 20 minutes after
the ship ran aground.
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
IT'S NOT THE HAVING, IT'S THE GETTING
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BIG PILE OF KITTENS? A MEOWNTAIN
WHEN CONFRONTED BY TWO EVILS, CHOOSE NEITHER
1. TELEVISION: Which television sitcom was set at the
Stratford Inn?
2. GEOGRAPHY: Where is the Bay of Fundy?
3. SCIENCE: How much faster does sound travel in water
than in air?
4. MATH: What is the origin of the word "zero"?
5. ENTERTAINERS: Which famous comedian/actor had a
brief boxing career?
6. ANATOMY: Where is the macula in the human body?
7. LANGUAGE: What is a "beau geste"?
8. MEASUREMENTS: What does a "gill" measure?
9. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: What is the color of the circle
on Japan's national flag?
10. AD SLOGANS: Which company urged customers to
"make a run for the border"?
Answers
1. "Newhart"
2. Between the Canadian provinces of New Brunswick and
Nova Scotia
3. About four times faster
4. Arabic, from the word "sifr,"
which means empty
(c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.
5. Bob Hope
6. The eye
7. A magnanimous gesture
8. Liquids, about one-quarter of a
pint
9. Red
10. Taco Bell
THE VILEST, THE WORST OF SINNERS MAY BE SAVED. ONLY LET HIM COME TO CHRIST, CONFESS HIS SIN, AND CRY TO HIM FOR PARDON
RESOLUTION ONE: I WILL LIVE FOR GOD. RESOLUTION TWO: IF NO ONE ELSE DOES, I STILL WILL
THERE ARE MORE THAN 2 MILLION MI. OF PAVED ROADS IN THE U.S.
YOUR MIND ISN'T SO MUCH TWISTED AS BADLY SPRAINED
Q: I grew up in West Texas before the
era of air conditioning. We had electric
fans scattered throughout our house to
help us survive the summer heat. I still
have three of them, all from the 1930s
and '40s. Are they considered collectible? -- Sue Beth, Spring Branch, Texas
YOUR CHILD MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT BUT YOU STILL DRIVE BADLY
A: If your vintage fans have brass blades, you have the most collectible. Serious enthusiasts seek out older fans with such features as Art
Deco designs and exposed coils, and even rarer ones with light bulbs
mounted on the unit. If the paint is in reasonably good shape and the
fan is in working condition, the value may surprise you. For example,
fans spotted recently include a Westinghouse Vane Oscillator, $650;
an Emerson three-speed Trojan, $400; a GE "Whiz," $55; and an Emerson "Junior," $75. The American Fan Collector Association is one
of the better groups and publishes a nifty newsletter, "The Fan Collector." The website can be accessed at www.fancollectors.org. Membership is $45 per year and may be submitted to Dick Boswell, 2245
Harrison
Ave.,
Lincoln,
NE
68502;
and
[email protected]. Do not contact Boswell concerning questions
about the age or value of fans. That is not his purpose.
Q: I have about a dozen issues of the Saturday Evening Post from the
1960s. They are in excellent condition, but no covers of historical
interest. Is there a market for such publications? -- Bill, Louisiana,
Mo.
A: Most issues of the Saturday Evening Post from this period sell in
the $10 to $20 range, depending on both content and condition. The
issues covering the assassination of John Kennedy in 1963 are popular with collectors, but rarely sell for more than about $25.
Q: While cleaning out my mom's desk, I found about a dozen sheets
of Christmas seals from the 1950s. I plan to sell them at a garage sale
and wonder how I should price them. -- Donna, Mitchell, S.D.
A: Occasionally sheets of Christmas seals pop up at shops and antiques malls. Even though they are collectible, prices have remained
fairly stagnant. Most of the examples I have seen from the 1950s generally sell for about a dollar a sheet.
Write to Larry Cox in care of KFWS, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL
32853-6475, or send e-mail to [email protected]. Due to the
large volume of mail he receives, Mr. Cox cannot personally answer
all reader questions, nor do appraisals. Do not send any materials
requiring return mail. (c) 2014 King Features Synd., Inc.