How to Share Gratitude at Work in 6 Steps
I believe that company cultures, as well as individuals, can reinvent
themselves to be more human, more relational, and more in accordance
with our nature. I mentor leaders to be connected to self, others and the
natural world. This web of connections allows my clients to have a
steady flow of confident decision making and creativity.
Gratitude is one of the foundational practices of how I lead my
companies and what I teach my clients. Gratitude in the workplace now
appears in headlines, primarily because gratitude leads to happiness.
Usually, these articles encourage an individual practice, sometimes a
company culture of genuine appreciation, and once in a rare while,
gratitude is seen as a group activity.
Gratitude amplifies awareness of priorities. It reminds
people of their purpose.
I almost always begin meetings by facilitating an intentional round of
sharing gratitude. When I form a team, for example, and have a list of
details and logistics to cover, I first begin with awakening connection to
what is important. Gratitude amplifies awareness of priorities. It
reminds people of their purpose.
The practice of sharing gratitude gives us presence in our meetings.
People focus when presented with emotional, meaningful context. They
report remembering everything that others shared, late into the day and
beyond. Extended gratitude woven throughout your days and your team
brings an awareness of how actions and consequences are intricately
arranged. Could being thankful activate systems thinking? Gratitude
gives assistance to making the best decisions, not only for us, but for all
those around us and far beyond the next quarter.
The original instructions for human beings is to give thanks.
How I lead has grown from decades of grounding in indigenous wisdom,
and I learned my practice of gratitude from Jake Swamp, a great
Mohawk elder, sub chief of the Wolf clan, who passed away in 2010. The
Mohawks are a part of the Iroquois confederacy. In their own language,
they are Haudenosaunee, which translates as “People of the Long
House.” This sophisticated culture provided the foundation for our
democracy. As the early colonists were looking for a way to organize
themselves, the Haudenosaunee had already organized 5 nations as a
confederacy for hundreds and hundreds of years. Google
“Haudenosaunee and Constitution” for more on that history, or see
Gregory Schaaf’s book Wampum Belts and Peace Trees. Ben Franklin
spent eleven years learning from the Mohawks, and I encourage
everyone to turn some awareness to their wisdom and peacemaking
traditions.
In the Haudenosaunee language, their practice of sharing gratitude
translates as “the words before all else.” Their goal in beginning
gatherings with gratitude is to connect to insight that allows the best
decisions for seven generations forward.
Chief Jake Swamp talked about original instructions. The original
instructions of the birds, for example, are to sing each morning and lift
the hearts and minds of people. The original instructions for human
beings is to give thanks.
In an office, with your family, or elsewhere, a foundation of
gratitude invites presence, positive interactions, and connection.
Walking outside with a state of thankfulness, I notice that the animals
and birds are less apt to run away from me. Gratitude opens up
awareness and reinforces connection. When I am aware and connected,
I see deer before they see me. When I hear a singing bird, my sphere of
awareness is greater than my sphere of disturbance. For example, as I
recently approached a cedar waxwing in a crab apple tree, I shifted my
behavior to gratitude. By slowing down just enough, I got to see this bird
at 3 feet, in vivid detail, passing berries to its partner on a branch as part
of a courting ritual. The same thing works with people. In an office, with
your family, or elsewhere, a foundation of gratitude invites presence,
positive interactions, and connection.
Here is my 6-step guide to the office adaptation of sharing gratitude that
goes back a thousand years in the Iroquois tradition and can be found in
cultures around the world:
1. Wait for Everyone. Gather the group and let them know that you’re
going to get started when everyone who is intended to be there is
present. Waiting for everyone is an important signal that everyone
matters. The purpose of a shared gratitude is not just for the individual
to become connected to themselves. The event also allows for the group
to enter formally into a state of unified purpose. I find that it is
especially powerful to hold the value of unity above the value of
efficiency when conducting gratitude. Taking a little extra time is a good
investment.
2. Set or Reset the context. If sharing gratitude is new to anyone, they will
need some history. Explain that you are all taking some time to gain an
awareness of what is important and bring presence to the meeting. You
might want to explain the indigenous origins of the practice. You might
want to circulate this article in advance.
If it feels more comfortable at first, you can adjust the practice to having
people share an intention they are bringing to this meeting. Stating
intention can also awaken connection to what is important. Because the
question assumes that people have a purpose, it awakens purpose and
intentionality. I expect my team members to have purpose. I want to
know on a regular basis what that purpose is and if they are awake to it
In a healthy environment, people enjoy the formality of
gratitude facilitation. It creates a safe space to drop into
another part of themselves they really enjoy.
3. Modeling First. My style as a leader is to only ask others to do what I
have done, and to be willing to keep modeling those tasks as needed. I
model giving thanks by being the first to do so. You can begin with “I’ll
start. Today I’m grateful for...”, or "Today, I am happy that..."
4. Practice vulnerability. Being authentically grateful is a vulnerable state
of being, and this can take practice. You may be surprised by how
challenging this can be for some people. People may not be familiar with
what moves them or may not be aware of what they are feeling in the
moment. In fact, this process requires people to get present to an
underlying part of themselves that they may not have checked in with
while going about their work day. It may be as though they did not even
bring this part of themselves to work in the first place. In learning to be
authentic and vulnerable as a leader, you are modeling an authentic
workplace.
5. Inclusion. Pass it to the person to your left by simply asking: “How
about you, (Name), what are you grateful for today?”
I like to acknowledge that they have spoken, so I usually recap with,
“Thanks.” Then activating the next the same way... “How about you,
(Name), what are you feeling thankful for?” From there I might just say
their name... “Jim ?,” and then, “Thank you…Marie?,” and so on until it
is not necessary to say anything accept “thank you” at the end. If you say
“thank you” once, you have to say thank you to everyone.
6. Wrapping it up. I believe all good processes have an opening and
closing. When it’s back around to you there is an opportunity to express
what is unifying the group. There may be a lot of appreciation for water
after a drought, or the group may have been reminded that they can be
authentic in the workplace and share information about family and
friends. This summarizing creates a transition to bring a unified group
to the next part of the meeting. If I see that the group became more
attuned to gratitude towards the end of the circle, I may first open it
back up for one more. “Anyone have another thought they want to share
before we wrap this up?”
In a healthy environment, people enjoy the formality of gratitude
facilitation. It creates a safe space to drop into another part of
themselves they really enjoy. It’s the part of them that is connected to
purpose and meaning. The mind is a tool, it’s clever, it’s efficient. The
heart is about awareness and connection. It’s what makes life
meaningful.
I have heard thankfulness for gardens, compost, rain, snow, trickling
creeks, trout, tropical fish, vacation moments, daffodils, tomato plants,
shade trees, sharing food, fall leaves, cherry pies, an aging parent,
health, lessons from illness, family, children's drawings, friendship,
neighbors, teachers, dogs catching and retrieving frisbees, cats chasing
sunlight reflections, riding horses, chickens, foxes, deer, robin songs,
raptors, a smile, a summer breeze, thunderstorms, sunshine, solar
panels, a full moon, stars...the possibilities are endless.
The safety provided by a workplace where people can be authentic,
where they can acknowledge a life other than their role at the office,
increases employee engagement, retention, and productivity.
With one-on-one mentoring, workshops, and off-site events, Mark Morey helps
business leaders achieve healthy, functioning, and self-sustaining
organizational cultures by harnessing the authentic and powerful principles of
nature.
Contact him if you want to know more or are curious about mentoring options.