Author’s Note: Even though this message is primarily aimed toward fathers,
the Word of God is transgender, and
most things will apply to all parents,
grandparents, godparents, etc.
We will begin with the word father
as it is spelled in Hebrew, and what it
means. First, unlike English and most
alphabets, the ancient Hebrew alephbet began as word pictures. The letters
they stood for then began to take on
the meanings of the pictures. Therefore, when they put letters together to
make words, the words became richer,
because they not only had the surface
meaning, but the added layers of the
meanings of the word pictures. Another important factor of Hebrew is, the
words were written as consonants
only, and the vowels sounds were spoken, but not written.
The Hebrew word for father is two
letters: AB (The affectionate term for
father, is ABBA. It’s like saying Daddy
by putting an extra d and vowel on
Dad, and Daddy is
more intimate.) Now for the word pictures for AB: A in Hebrew is aleph, and
the picture for aleph, is an ox. The ox
is in the bovine family and is stronger
than a cow. They used oxen by putting a yoke around them to pull heavy
loads. You’ve heard the saying, “He’s
strong as an ox.” The word picture
for aleph is an ox, so its definition
is strength and depicts a strong person. The second letter is BET, and its
word picture is a tent, or we would
say a house. (They started out living
in tents.) From BET comes the name
Bethlehem—the house of bread. When
you put aleph and bet together, you
get the word father, and its word picture is: “The father is the strong man
of the house.”
God designed the family in such a
way that the father is to be the strong
leader of the house. And where there
is no father, whether he’s never been
in the picture physically, or he’s not
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really connected emotionally, there
is a break down of order. There is a
lack of male affection that children
need and the kind of male discipline
that children need. What happens is,
it overwhelms the mother and leaves
the children without a strong sense of
identity of who they are, because the
strength of the house is not there. This
is why God created the family the way
He created it. We live in a day when
society has taken the word family and
shredded it to pieces. They say that a
family is whatever you want to make
it, but we are going by the original
blueprint that God designed.
If you own a Ford, and something
breaks down, and you don’t know how
to fix it, go to the Ford dealer. The guy
on the corner who says he can fix cars,
may make it worse, because he’s not a
Ford dealer, he didn’t build it, and he
doesn’t have the right schematics. If
you own a foreign car, don’t take it to
the Ford dealer; take it to the Toyota
dealer. He has the manual, because
he created it. God created the family,
and He has the manual to tell you how
to fix it when there’s a problem. God
designed the family for the father to
be the strong leader. Fathers, raising
a godly seed is the most important
role you will ever have. Whatever else
you are called to do, nothing is more
important than to raise your children,
and God wants you to have a blessed
home and a blessed family.
Some of you may not have been
raised in godly homes and many
weren’t raised by your fathers. Others may have been raised in godly
homes and many weren’t raised by
your fathers. Others may have been
raised in a home with your father, but
he was working, or was emotionally
detached, and really wasn’t there in a
strong way. So you may feel that you
really don’t know how to be a good
father yourself. God’s Word is the
manual you need to provide you with
the necessary tools to raise a family.
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The House That God Built
“Except the Lord build the house,
they labour in vain that build it: except
the Lord keep the city, the watchman
waketh but in vain” (Psalm 127:1).
The word vain in modern terms means
profitless, useless, worthless.
“It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of
sorrows; for se he giveth his beloved
sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of
the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is
his reward. As arrows are in the hand
of a mighty man; so are children of the
youth. Happy is the man that hath his
quiver full of them: they shall not be
ashamed, but they shall speak with the
enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:2-5).
The first thing you should know is,
God Almighty is the divine architect of
your home, your family, your finances,
and His words are the blueprints for a
blessed home and family. If you don’t
stick to the blueprints, you will get off
course. Anybody who knows anything
about building knows that when you
don’t pay attention to the blueprints,
sooner or later you will be very sorry.
My son built a house in West Virginia
where the codes are lax. The contractor did not follow the architect’s blueprint, and didn’t frame the house to
its specifications. Nobody caught it
until after all the walls were up. When
another contractor came to do his part,
he couldn’t, because the frame was
off. It became a domino effect creating
all kinds of problems throughout the
building process. If you don’t follow
the blueprint and build it wrong, but
catch it early enough, you can make
adjustments to fix it, and it won’t be
that bad. But if you don’t catch it early, and they have already put walls up,
and sheet rock over wiring and plumbing, you will have a big problem. It’s
going to cost you lots of money, time,
and heartache. Some things will not
be quite the way they were meant to
be. So whenever things get out of kilter, we need to go to the blueprints,
because God is the divine architect,
and we must build on His foundation.
Except the Lord build the house—
not Dr. Phil, not Miss O, or any others
who try to tell you how to build your
house according to worldly standards.
If you want a house that is blessed and
prosperous, except the Lord build the
house, they labour in vain that build
it. God’s the architect, and He will tell
you not only how to build, but what to
build upon, because the foundation is
crucial to everything else.
In Matthew 7:24-25 Jesus said:
“Therefore, whosoever hears these
sayings of mine, and doeth them, I
will liken him unto a wise man which
built his house upon a rock.” Who
is the rock? Jesus Christ. “And the
rains descended, and the floods came,
and the winds blew, and beat upon
that house; and it fell not: for it was
founded upon the rock.” The house
that was built on a high place on a
rock didn’t fall. Then Jesus said, “And
everyone that heareth these sayings of
mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built
his house upon the sand: And the rain
descended, and the floods came, and
the winds blew, and beat upon that
house, and it fell: and great was the
fall of it” (vv. 26-27).
We just saw on the news the heartbreak of people in North Carolina
who built million dollar homes on the
shoreline of the outer banks, knowing
that they are prone to storms. When
hurricanes miss Florida and come up
the east cost, they will be the ones
to get it first, because they are sticking out the farthest. They build those
houses anyway, and when the winds
came, their houses fell right into the
ocean. It is so foolish to build there,
and yet some have rebuilt the second
time and even the third time.
You must build upon the rock and
the foundation of God’s Word. You
cannot build you house on natural,
material things. Many people today
are into getting things. They want the
perfect house with all the best things
and finery. They want their children to
have the best clothes, toys, electronics, amusements. They spend lavishly
on vacations and hobbies. They build
expernsive things, but neglect the
foundation. Even if you have a good
education, and that’s a good thing, you
cannot substitute it for the Word of
God. If you don’t raise your children
according to the Ten Commandments,
they will not have a foundation. We
all know they are not going to get it
in public school, and even if you send
them to Christian school, their teachers
are not going to stand before God and
give an account for your kids. Mother and Father, you are going to give
an account for them. If your life is
all about your career, getting material
things, about rising up in the ranks and
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meeting certain goals, it only takes one
crisis, it only takes one storm, one hurricane, one fire, to come into your life
and turn it upside down. Where will
you be then, if you are not on the foundation of God’s Word? Great will be
the fall of your house! As we prepare
to go to press, the news is reporting
the tragic murder-suicide of a young
family here in Maryland. The father
was depressed over foreclosure of their
home and almost a half-million dollars
of debt. He shot his wife and 3 young
children before he killed himself.
Jesus said, “But seek ye first the
kingdom of God and his righteousness,
and all these things will be added unto
you” (Matt. 6:33). I would rather have
God add them to me everyday than my
trying to do it myself. I’d rather have
God bless me, than to try to make it
on my own. I used to have a sticker
on the dashboard of my car that said,
“God always gives His best to them
who leave the choice to Him.” It’s
not in the Bible, but it’s good advice
anyway. When you seek God and His
kingdom, He will always give you
better than you would have done for
yourself. This is the promise in Ephesians 3:20: “Now unto him who is able
to do exceeding abundantly above all
you can ask or think…” We Americans can ask for a lot of stuff! We have
great imaginations when it comes to
things we would like to have, but all
this pales in comparison with what
God will give you. God said that He
will bless you with “the blessings of
the Lord that maketh rich and will add
no sorrow to it” (Pro. 10:22). A lot of
the riches of the world have a big fat
price tag attached to them. You don’t
realize it until later. But when God
blesses you, it won’t bring sorrow. It
will only be blessings.
Except the Lord keep the city, the
watchman wakes but in vain. Mothers, Fathers, you cannot possibly protect your children from everything,
and from all the evil of this world, as
much as you want to and as much as
you try, and you should try. I’m all for
knowing where they are at all times,
who they are with, and when they are
coming back. I don’t believe in carte
blanche: I let you spend the night with
Susie, but once you get to Susie’s, you
go to Lucy’s, and then to some other
placce, and then from there, you go
to the mall. Before you know it, they
are in places they ought not to be.
No, I said, “When you get to Susie’s
house, you stay at Susie’s house. If
Susie wants to go to Lucy’s, you call
me up, and I’ll decide then. If I say,
‘No, come home,’ I don’t want you
riding with a bunch of nisy teenagers
driven by somebody who has only had
her license three months. What I can
protect you from, I will stand on my
head to protect you from. You can get
mad all day long, but because I love
you, I’m going to watch out for you.”
Even radical parents like me, however,
cannot protect them from everything.
Except the Lord is the watchman… When the Lord is the watchman, you lay down on your bed and
say, “Father, in Jesus’ Name, I apply
the blood of the covenant over the
door posts and lintels of their lives. I
pray that You send ministering angels
to follow them wherever they go, and
I pray that if they find themselves in
a place they ought not to be, let Holy
Ghost conviction will come upon
them. If they are about to do some5
of sorrows. One of the greatest mistakes parents, especially fathers, make
is to put their jobs above their spiritual
life and their family. They make the
mistake of thinking that if they work
all the time, so they can make more
money, so they can give their children
more things, so they can make more
money, so they can give their children more things, that is being good
parents. They think they are showing
them how much they love them by the
stuff they give them: The latest video
game, or this, or that, or they get to go
here and there. Some must work two
jobs to pay off credit card debt from
all the stuff they keep buying. Much
is impulse buying, because the kids
beg, nag, cry, and pitch a fit until they
give in and give it to them, when they
really can’t afford it. What it really
comes down to is, they do things for
their kids, but not with their kids. At
the end of the day, any child would
rather you do something with him/her,
rather than for him/her.
Men often do not realize how desperately their sons and daughters love
them and need them. Fathers, you
must spend time with them, because
if you neglect the more valuable blessing of your time and influence, you
are missing a vital time in their lives
you can never get back. It is more
important that you go to that baseball
game, that softball game, or whatever
your child is into. When your child is
up at the plate, don’t you think that
child is scanning to see if Daddy is
watching? If Mommy is watching? Oh
yes, and when that child hits a homerun and comes around 3rd base, she is
looking for Daddy to say, “Yeah, go
get’em, Sarah!”
thing they would regret later, let the
Holy Ghost say to them: “But your
Momma… but your Daddy…”
A good practice for mothers and
fathers is to pray the 91st Psalm over
your family everyday. Everyday I pray
this psalm and parts of Psalm 104,
121, Heb. 1:14 over my family. I name
everybody and say, “Lord, You are
going to keep us in the secret place of
the Most High. You are going to hide
us under the shadow of the Almighty.
We will not be afraid, though a thousand fall by our sides and ten thousand
by our right hand. It shall not come
nigh unto us. Only with our eyes are
we going to see what happens to the
wicked. But because we have made
You, the Most High, our habitation,
You will give Your angels charge over
us to keep us in all of our ways. If we
should dash our foot against a stone,
those angels aren’t wimpy angels.
They are mighty in power. They excel
in strength. They hearken to Your
voice, and You send them forth as a
flaming fire to minister to us, the heirs
of salvation.”
It is also important that our kids see
how we react when trouble comes.
They need to see us rise up in Holy
Ghost faith and bind the devil. What
do your kids see you do? Do you
wring your hands? Do you get upset
and start arguing, and say things you
ought not to say? Or do you rise up in
Jesus’ Name and say, “I take authority
over this situation right now”, or whatever the situation calls for, according
to the blueprint of God’s Word.
Time is More Precious Than Stuff
It is useless for you to rise up early, and to sit up late, to eat the bread
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I have to honor my husband Benny.
He has been exemplary in this regard
with our daughter, especially after I
hurt my back and was not able to do
things with Sarah like I would have
done. She was only seven when I hurt
my back. Benny would take her to the
malls to shop. They would go grocery
shopping. I was so glad when it turned
out that she had a love for softball. I
can’t imagine it would have worked
out as well if she wanted to be a ballerina! I signed her up when she was
six, because I thought she would be
cute in her little outfit, and because I
wanted her to march in the parade on
opening day. I did not expect her to
last all the way through college! But
that turned out to be such a grace, a
gift God gave our family. Even though
I could not be there, Benny took her to
all her practices and games. When she
really began to excel in it, it became
a major part of her life. Many times
he wanted to go fishing or crabbing,
but instead would go to her games.
When he did side jobs to make extra
money, most of the time they were on
Saturdays, so he really had to work so
he could hurry up and make her game.
He realized how important it was to
her and to him. That was a special gift
that God gave them, and it helped our
family through a very hard time.
Whatever your child likes to do,
be there for her/him. Your time that
you put in with your child is more
valuable than saying, “Here is 20
bucks. Go get yourself something.”
If you’re not with your child all the
time, because he/she doesn’t live with
you, and you only get certain times
for visitations, make sure that you are
always there. No matter what’s going
on, don’t call up and say, “I’m not
coming today. I have to go here or
there.” Your time with your child is
more important than anything else.
Unless you are in the ER or something
else that’s truly important, you need
to make sure you keep all visitations
with your children. Because if you’re
too busy doing something else, the
message your child is getting is: “I’m
not that important. My father’s (fill in
the blank) is more important.”
Sometimes fathers who are called
of the Lord to be in ministry, whether
its street meetings, prison ministry,
or even the pulpit, get out of balance,
because they never have time to go
to their children’s events because of
“ministry obligations.” Eventually
their children will come to resent the
Lord. They will think: Because of
God and the church and his ministry, my Dad can never go anywhere
with me. God doesn’t want you to give
your child that message. He is a Good
Father, and He doesn’t want to be the
one who ends up with a bad reputation. Ministers, make sure there is a
balance, so you don’t miss all their
events, because you have to do to this,
that, or the other for the church, etc.
For he giveth his beloved sleep...
Basically what God is saying to fathers
and mothers is, “If you will trust Him
and get your priorities right, and seek
the kingdom of God first, then He will
supply your needs so that you don’t
have to lose sleep about it. You don’t
have to be anxious and worried about
how you’re going to pay the bills. You
won’t have to work two jobs until you
are exhausted and never have time
with your family.” He is saying, “If
you do it My way, I’ll give you sleep.
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I will allow you to lie down at night,
and you won’t worry how you’re
going to have enough gas in your car
to go to work.” But just like your little
child, “When you lie down, you shall
not be afraid, and your sleep shall be
sweet” (Pro. 3:24).
Psalms 3:5: “I laid me down and
slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me” God says, “I’ll supply
your need. Psalm 4:8: “I will both lay
me down in peace and sleep…” It is
good when you have both! “For thou,
Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”
Psalm 104:19-23: “He appointed the
moon for seasons and the sun knows
his going down. Thou makest darkness
and it is night: Wherein all the beasts
of the forest do creep forth. The young
lions roar after their prey, and seek
their meat from God. The sun ariseth,
they gather themselves together, and
lay them down in their dens. Man goes
forth unto his work and to his labour
until the evening”
What this simply means is, people are supposed to work during the
day and sleep at night. Sometimes
you have no choice, and often if you
are the new guy, you have to start on
night work. But you should pray that
when you’ve paid your dues, God will
get you off of night work and on day
work, because that’s what He wants.
When you don’t follow God’s plan,
your body gets out of balance, because
you have a natural circadian clock that
tells you when to sleep. When you
work at night and sleep during the
day, you will pay for it in your body.
Certain major diseases are greater
amongst people who work the night
shift. God’s Word also says to work
six days and rest one. When we fail to
give our bodies their proper rest, they
will break down. If we do what God
says, we will be healthy and blessed,
and there will be order in the home.
If you don’t take a day for God alone
and for family, you will pay for it later.
We have to follow the Word of God if
we want to prosper.
Lo, children are an heritage of the
Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his
reward. The very first blessing God
pronounced over man when He created
Adam and Eve was, “Be fruitful and
multiply.” Be fruitful and have children, because God says He rewards
you with children, and children are
His inheritance. Why? Because God is
looking for a godly seed. God doesn’t
give us children just so we can have
children, but so He can have children.
He is looking for a godly seed.
When Adam and Eve sinned, their
seed became increasingly wicked, and
God destroyed them except for Noah
and his family. After that, God began
looking for one man that He could
bless and through him create a godly
seed to become a chosen people. He
chose somebody who didn’t even have
kids. I would have thought He’d start
with somebody who already had kids,
but He chose Abraham, and if you
want to know why He chose Abraham,
read Genesis 18:19:“For I know him,
that he will command his children and
his household after him, and they shall
keep the way of the Lord, to do judgment and justice…” Giving Abraham
kids was the easy part for God, even
though Abraham was 100 years old
by the time he finally had the child of
promise. The thing that concerned God
was finding a man with a heart after
Him, that when He gave him a child,
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he would teach him the ways of the
Lord, so that he would teach his children—So Isaac would rise up and take
the baton and pass it on to Jacob, and
Jacob would pass it on to his twelve
sons, and from these God would call
a whole nation forth to serve Him and
give to them His laws. This was why
Abraham stood out in God’s sight.
I’ve had young couples come to
me and say, “Do you think it is wise
to have children in this day and age
when things are so wicked?” And I
answered: “First of all, Jesus said,
‘Occupy until I come.’ Do business
and let normal things go on as they
should. Secondly, if born again, Holy
Ghost-filled, Spirit-filled, people do
not have children, and Jesus does not
return real soon, who will be the salt
and the light for the next generation?
Who will birth the godly seed for the
generation to come?” When I was a
teenager we were taught that Jesus
is coming, so you shouldn’t have
kids. Well, where would we be today
if everybody paid attention to that?
Who would take the baton to carry
for the next generation? A godly seed
is so important to God that He was
very angry with His Old Testament
people, saying in Malachi 2:14-15:
“I hate your frivolous divorces. You
are divorcing for no good reason, and
I hate it.” Why? Because you have
deprived Me of a godly seed.
Children are a reward from the
Lord. We’ve already seen the significance of the Hebrew spelling of father.
Now let’s look at the Hebrew spellings of son and daughter. Son is the
word BEN, and it is seen in many Jewish names, such as Jacob Ben David,
which means Jacob the son of David.
Its two consonants are BET and NOON.
We already know that the word picture for BET is a house. The word picture for NOON is a fish swimming in
water—Not a stationary fish, but moving in water, which typifies life. When
we put both word pictures together
it means: The son is the life of the
house. The son carries on the family
name, and God wants us to have sons
to carry forth the life and the name of
His family!
The Hebrew for daughter is BAT—
spelled BET and TAV . The word picture for TAV looks like a lower case
“t.” It is a cross, and it meant a sign.
Now you need to understand that the
Hebrew language dates back 6,000
years, and they didn’t know anything
about the cross and crucifixion. It
wasn’t even invented yet. It simply
meant the sign of the covenant, which
means the daughter is the sign of the
covenant in the house. What is its significance? Remember what God said
to the serpent when He pronounced
the curse because of Eve’s sin: “I will
put enmity between thee and the woman, between thy seed and her seed. It
shall bruise—crush your head” (Gen.
3:15). Every Jewish woman had the
desire to bring forth God’s Messiah,
and 4,000 years later, a peasant girl
named Mary did.
The Archery Metaphor
The Psalmist used the metaphor
of archery to state seven main facts
of fatherhood. First, the father is an
archer. An archer must be physically
strong. Remember, the father is the
strength of the house, and archery is
not a wimpy sport. They even have
archery in the Olympics. In case you
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may be thinking about the little bow
and arrow sets you chased your brother and sister around the yard with,
that’s not what we are talking about. A
bow is a huge, heavy piece of equipment, so the archer needs strength,
balance, and focus. We are talking
about fathers: They need to be strong,
balanced, focused, to know that their
earthly role as father is number one,
and everything else should come after
that, as long as his children are in the
home. He must also be strong morally
and spiritually. He has to be prepared
to lead and to teach his children by
his own example. His children need
to see him pray and read God’s Word.
His children need him to bring them
to church and not send them with
their mother or someone else. They
need to see him treat their mother in
the right way.
Before you ever became a father,
you should have been a husband. If
you did it God’s way, you had on the
job training as a husband, because
you will not be a good father if you
are not a good husband. You cannot
just do nice things for your kids and
not for your wife. They need to see
your behavior as a good husband,
because your children will imitate
you. If you want your sons to grow
up to be good fathers, you must give
them a good example. The same
holds true for mothers.
You must practice in the real world
what God’s Word says. You are the
archer, the one who is in control. They
have to see you do right things: Pay
your tithes to God, your taxes to Uncle
Sam, your bills to your creditors, and
give to those in need.
The bow is the Word of God. The
specific Word that we should use for
our children is the Ten Commandments. We should honor them, and
let our children see us live them out
in our lives. Do not think that they
are just for the O.T. people who lived
4,000 years ago. Jesus did not rescind
the Ten Commandments. In fact, when
you read the Sermon on the Mount,
you will see that He actually raised
the bar, and added more substance to
them. He said, “You know the Law
says, “Thou shalt not kill, but I say
that if you think evil in your heart
against your brother, you are guilty
of murder.” The Commandment says
“Thou shalt not commit adultery,” but
Jesus said, “If you look upon a woman
and lust for her in your heart, you’ve
already committed adultery” (Matthew
5:21-28). He placed a greater accountability upon us to keep the commandments, and the bow must be balanced.
Psalms 78:1-7: “Give ear O my
people, to my law: Incline your ears to
the words of my mouth. I will open my
mouth in a parable: I will utter dark
sayings of old: Which we have heard
and known, and our fathers have told
us. We will not hide them from their
children, shewing to the generation
to come the praises of the Lord, and
his strength, and his wonderful works
that he hath done. For he established
a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should
make them known to their children:
That the generation to come might
know them, even the children which
should be born; who should arise and
declare them to their children: That
they might set their hope in God, and
not forget the works of God, but keep
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his commandments.”
Fathers, you are commanded to rise
up and declare the praises of God:
How wonderful God is, and what He
has done in your life, and establish
a living testimony for your children.
Maybe you were a drug addict, an
alcoholic, promiscuous, or in and out
of jail, but Jesus stepped into your
life and set you free. You could have
spent the rest of your days there, but
Jesus intervened and delivered you.
You have to get this message across
to your children, so they will realize:
“Don’t be a fool like I was. I didn’t
have anybody to tell me.”
My heart breaks to see children
who have been in church from the day
they were born, and when they get
to be teenagers, they go out into the
world and get all messed up. Raised
in church, and now they are on drugs,
or in jail, unmarried with children,
have had abortions. I think, What’s up
with that? Then I realized they thought
they were missing something, that we
were keeping them from having fun.
But people who have come out of the
world, off of drugs, off of alcohol,
out of jail, out of gangs, don’t have
these illusions. They’ve tasted the bitter sting of sin. They have drunk the
dregs of sin’s sorrows. They’ve been
set free by the power of God, and they
know that there is nothing out there
but misery. Somehow we’ve got to get
this message across to our children—
We are not mean old people trying to
keep them from having a good time—
We are trying to keep them from the
snares of sin.
Father, if you came out of a life
style that was black with sin, don’t be
ashamed of it. Tell your kids, “That
was what my life was before Jesus
came.” Let them know that they don’t
have to go out there and learn the hard
way. Some will still be rebellious and
stubborn, and they will have to find
out the hard way. What do you do
when your child is out there in the
far country? Everyday pray, “God, I
believe the prayers of a praying mother and father are mighty and powerful
in Heaven, and though my child is
out on the devil’s territory, I ask You
to be merciful and cover them, and
don’t let the devil kill them until they
come to their senses and wake up and
say, ‘What in the name of Heaven am I
doing in this pig sty, when I can be in
my Father’s house?’”
Also, don’t always go to bat for
them when they get in trouble. If they
keep repeating the same mistakes,
you’ve got to let them pay the consequences. As long as they know that
momma and daddy are going to get
them out, they will not worry about
the consequences. When they were
little, you went behind them, picked
up their dirty socks, and now you are
picking up their broken lives. After
awhile you’ve got to let them sit in it,
until they get sick and tired of it. But
always, always let them know, regardless of how much they are breaking
your heart, that you love them. You
hate what they are doing, but you love
them. You hate what they are letting
the devil do to their lives, but you love
them. And the Holy Spirit will help
you to do that.
The Psalmist continued in Verse 5657: “…they kept not his testimonies.
But turned back, and dealt unfaithfully
like their fathers: they were turned
aside like a deceitful bow.” A crooked
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bow is not balanced, and if the bow is
crooked, the arrow will go off course.
There is nothing crooked or deceitful about God’s Word, but you can
handle it deceitfully. Peter said, Some
who are “unstable, that wrestle the
Scriptures to their own destruction”
(2 Pet. 3:16). When people don’t want
to do right, they try to find Scripture
to support their wrong doing. God’s
Word is not deceived—They are, and
they handled it deceitfully. Paul said,
“…rightly dividing the word of truth”
(2 Tim. 2:15). So you not only have to
have the Word of God, but you have to
let it fall where it falls. You can’t move
it here and there to suit your liking,
because then the bow will be deceitful, and the arrow will be crooked.
The arrows must be straight. You
can have a strong archer, and a balanced bow, but a crooked arrow will
go astray every time. In order to have
a straight arrow, you have to carve it
while the twig is young. Once a branch
gets thick, if it has a crook in it, you
can’t get the crook out. I’ve tried. I
went out in my yard and got some
branches of all different sizes. Some
were just little twigs, and I could bend
them any way I wanted. Some were
a little thicker, but they already had a
crook in them. I tried to bend them,
and they snapped. Others that were
mature limbs, I could not bend at all.
Parents, it is vital that you carve
your children while they are young,
because if you wait until they are
pre-teen and teens, you have waited
too long and too late. I’m not saying
there is no remedy: With God there
is always a remedy. But I’m saying,
it’s going to be hard on them, and it’s
going to be hard on you. The sooner,
the earlier—the better, the easier! In
order for children to be straight, you
have to discipline them while they are
young. The cardinal verse is Proverbs
22:6: “Train up a child in the way that
he should go and when he is old he
will not depart from it.” Again, you
must train them while they are young.
Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is in
the heart of a child, but the rod of
correction will drive it far from him.”
Proverbs 29:15: “The rod and reproof
will give wisdom, but a child left to
himself will bring his mother shame.”
You must have both—rod and reproof.
Remember, the bow must be balanced.
Not only should you correct your children when needed, spank your children, but they have to understand
why they are being punished. If they
don’t understand why, then there is
no benefit. Especially, when they are
young, you need to discipline them
right away. If you spank a two-orthree-year old two hours later, they
won’t have any idea what they did.
They think that you are just being a
mean mommy or daddy. You have
to catch them when they do it, and
explain what it is they did. Otherwise,
the punishment is non-productive.
Proverbs 13:24: “He that spares the
rod hateth his son, but he that loveth
him chastens him betimes.” What
does betimes mean? A whole lot of
times? No, it means on time. It means,
when they did the wrong, when they
broke the rule, when they were disobedient, right then, discipline them.
Don’t tell your child, “When your
father gets home, he’s going to give it
to you.” You correct your child right
then. Then if you want to, add: “When
your father gets home, he is not going
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to be happy.” But if you keep saying, “When your father gets home,”
number one, you’re not correcting
him when he did the act. Number two,
you’re making the father the big bad
meanie in the house, and the child
will always associate his daddy with
spanking and discipline. That’s not
fair for the father or your child. If
it’s a very serious offense that daddy
needs to know, then let him in on it
when he gets home, but make sure
that you do it betimes, on time.
And above all, stick to your guns.
If you say, “This is the rule, and if you
break it, this will happen,” then follow
through. If you say, “You’re not going
to go outside for a week,” stick to it.
If you don’t, they will know that your
word means nothing, and all they have
to do is beg, plead, cry, fall on the
floor, or whatever, and they know you
will eventually cave in, and they will
get their way. So no matter how much
they drive you up a wall, once you
say, “This is the punishment,” stick to
it. Therefore, you should think twice
before you speak. Don’t say, “You are
not going out of the house for a year,”
because you know good and well that
it is not only unfair, but there’s no
way you can keep them inside a whole
year. Don’t tell them something if you
can’t back it up. When you say, “You
are not going to Hershey Park,” don’t
change your mind and let them go.
They will lose respect for your word,
and you will never be able to punish
them with loss of privileges.
When she was 11, my daughter
got in trouble in school, and it was
already planned for her and her dad to
go to Hershey Park that weekend with
other people from church. I told her,
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“You are not going to Hershey Park,”
because the infraction was serious
enough to merit it. She also knew
that because of my back problem, I
wasn’t going to hurt myself trying to
spank her. I had to use punishment.
She protested that her friend, who
was in trouble too, was still going,
and they already had tickets. I said,
“I’m sorry. You are not going.” Her
dad, to his credit, unlike many parents, did not say, “Awh, let her go.”
Whatever he thought of it one way
or the other, he supported me. This is
important, because if one parent says
something, unless it’s unreasonable,
the other must be in agreement. If the
other parent caves in and says, “You
can do it,” the child learns how to
play one against the other, and they
know who the “softie” is. I told Benny, “If I change my mind and let her
go, I will never have any control over
her again. I can’t spank her because
of my back, so I won’t be able to do
anything.” There would be plenty of
other opportunities to go to Hershey
Park, but this was a lesson she had to
learn, and she did.
Proverbs 29:17: “Correct thy child,
and he shall give thee rest. Yea, he
shall give delight unto your soul.” Do
you want to raise a child that brings
you shame or a child that brings you
delight? Proverbs 23:13: “Withhold
not correction from the child: for if
thou beatest him with a rod, he shall
not die.” Let me say, we are not talking about child abuse. We are talking
about reasonable spankings. “Thou
shall beat him with a rod, and shalt
deliver his soul from hell” (vs. 14).
This is a heavy consequence upon
us parents. If we don’t correct them,
not only will they cause us grief in
this life, but we can actually put them
in jeopardy of going to hell. That’s
why God corrects His children, so we
won’t go astray and go to Hell.
Proverbs 3:12: “For whom the Lord
loveth He correcteth; even as a father
the son in whom he delights.” (If you
want to know how God corrects His
children, read Hebrews 12:5-11.)
The children are the arrows, and
they must be straight, and the aim
must be sure. There must be a goal,
a target, and that is to raise a godly
seed for the next generation to be salt
and light in the earth. David said in
Psalm 119:11: “Thy word have I hid in
my heart that I might not sin against
thee.” The Biblical definition of sin
is to miss the mark. It means “to fall
short of the glory of God” (Romans
3:23). The Holy Spirit is the one who
applies the pressure to the bow of
God’s Word, because the pressure will
determine whether or not it hits its
mark or falls short.
Fathers and Mothers, you’re not
left all on your own trying to figure
how you are going to raise a godly
seed. You have the Word of God. You
have the Holy Spirit as your resource,
and He will lead and guide and direct
you. All you have to do is ask. “If
any man lacks wisdom, let him ask
of God, who give to all men liberally
and upbraideth not; and it shall be
given him” (Js. 1:5). Do not think you
can’t ask God what to do in any situation concerning your child. Of course,
the wise thing is to ask ahead of time.
Don’t wait until its raining to build the
ark. Ask the Holy Spirit to direct you
daily in all your ways (See Pro. 3:5-6).
Happy is the man that hath his
quiver full of them. A quiver is a
leather holder worn on the back where
all the arrows are kept, and God said
“Blessed is the man who has a quiver
full of arrows, because children are
the reward of the Lord.” The Jewish
mindset was to have many children,
because they were to bring forth godly
seed, and God gave them the oracles
of God. Until this day, they are the
ones who watch over the O.T. laws
of God to preserve them and God’s
holy Name. God looks at children
as His inheritance, and He wants us
to raise them right—“in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord” (Eph.
6:4). Not according to Dr. Spock or
“it takes a village.” It doesn’t take a
village. It takes a mother and a father
and the Word of God.
Psalm 112:1-2: “Blessed is the man
that fears the Lord and delights greatly
in his commandments. His seed shall
be mighty upon the earth: the generation of the righteous shall be blessed.”
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