The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 I. Introduction 1. Initial Remarks As I have prayed over this series, I have been arrested in my Spirit by God, and led of him to pray over and over and over for this season in our church. I have a sense in my inner being that this next season in our church is extremely important for us and there is the potential for our church to grow in very dramatic ways. I plead with you to give yourself to God in this season and work with him as he begins to move in your lives as we cover the issue of family in our group here during the next several weeks. We are going to approach this study a bit differently than the last one. As we work through family, we are not going to be covering the book as closely as we did with the previous one. We will make reference to it for sure, but I am going to do my own series on the family and this book will mainly be a reference book throughout our study. 2. Family Powerfully Images Forth God In the introduction to his book, MacArthur highlights the importance of the family by claiming that it is the building block of society. I agree with him and would add to that, that when a family is filled with the Spirit and walks with God in Christ, the family is one of the most powerful witnesses in all creation, to the glory of God in the Gospel. Family has some very unique and powerful ways that God is imaged forth when the family is following God. Everything a husband, wife, father, mother, and child is called to be and do in God’s design and purpose for the family, is first a reality that is lived out by God himself. God is the perfect father, he is the greatest sacrificial and loving leader, he is the most authoritative being in the universe, he is the ultimate provider, teacher, and protector, he is perfect in his discipline towards his children, his love towards his bride is infinite and perfect in glory and effectiveness, God himself is perfect in submission, he is the perfect helper, and he is the perfect child as the obedient Son. All that God calls each family member to do and be, is first a reality in God himself, and therefore, when each family member lives into his or her God‐given roles in the family, through the Gospel and by the Spirit, there is a glorious manifestation and imaging forth of the glory of God in the family 2. The Breakdown of the Family A. Feminism In the introduction to the book, MacArthur talks about how severely society is attacking the biblical view of family. Feminism constitutes a major attack against God’s design for family. Feminism rightly sees and is bothered by the abuse of women and oppression of them that is prominent all over the world. In suggesting solutions to these problems, much of feminism essentially claims that there is little to no difference between men and women and they tell women the lie that her priority is not to be tending to 1 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 the home and focusing on making it a godly sanctuary for her family, but rather, she is to find life, purpose, and meaning, by becoming a career mom and achieving something in the world. The irony is that in seeking to honor femininity and overturn the oppression of women, they actually dishonor true femininity because they view many of the God‐given, feminine distinctions as oppressive and they are not satisfied until women are essentially acting like men. This actually dishonors femininity, even though that is not the intent of the feminist movement. This lie has done massive damage not only to our society, but especially to our churches as many professing Christian women don’t look any different than the world in this regard. Our women carry the heavy burden of feeling that being at home with their children is not enough. They believe they need a certain career status, or career achievement or somehow they are missing out. Just as Eve bought the lie that God was holding out on her because she wasn’t like God, so also women continue to believe that they are missing out somehow if they only tend to the home and don’t function as men. The greatest contribution to a family, to the church, and to society that a woman can make, is to faithfully live into the high calling and responsibility of bringing up her children in the Lord, and making her home a God‐
centered sanctuary. But for most modern women, this isn’t enough, it is insignificant, it is oppressive, or some other negative thing. Our families are fiercely attacked by feminism, the church is filled with feministic false teaching that is hurting our families, and the corresponding spiritual weakness associated with it is palpable. B. Attack on Marriage Marriage is also under huge in attack in many ways. It is commonly accepted in our day for couples to live together for years and never enter into a committed marital relationship. Just going to the kid’s school I see single moms or dads that have multiple kids from multiple partners and it is just readily accepted as the norm by our society. For those that do get married, most marriages are a disaster as each spouse lives for his or herself and does what is right in their own eyes, and destroy the marriage with their selfishness. Non‐exclusive sexual relationships in marriage are becoming more and more accepted, adultery fills the land, divorce is almost a societal norm and it is easier to get divorced than it is to get a car loan. This book was published in 2005. Knowing that, let’s think historically for a second here, in the last 11 years since this book was published, what has developed in our society that represents an even more extreme attack on the biblical view of family? Gay marriage has been legalized and we have now legislated sin and an attack on the biblical view of marriage at a historically unprecedented level. What once was considered taboo, is now considered progressive and normal and anyone who speaks out against homosexual marriage is wrongly labeled as, “homophobic, a bigot, narrow‐minded, or hateful.” 2 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 C. Gender Confusion To make matters even worse, our country can’t even settle on whether or not we are men or women as the transgender movement has gained massive strength over the last couple of years. More and more people, in a desperate search to find their identity, are believing that who they are internally is not compatible with the bodily gender God gave them and they are going through drastic steps to alter their bodies to conform to whatever gender they feel they identify with. Rather, than speaking out against this, our society has accepted it, and is even willing to build public bathrooms to accommodate this sinfulness in our nation. D. Carnal Parenting Our unbiblical views of parenting in our country are rampant as well. Some despise their children and view them as burdens rather than gifts from God. They neglect them, verbally abuse them and run them down, and often times they physically abuse their kids as well. In extreme cases I have heard of parents even pimping their own children to prosper financially. I just had a man in our city tell me less than a month ago that his daughter‐in‐law just did this to his 12‐year‐old granddaughter right here in our own backyard. On the other hand, you have parents who make children the center of their whole existence. They will not correct or discipline kids because they wrongly believe that is un‐loving. In many families the kids run the show and are completely unbridled in their sin, disrespect, and rebellion while the parents either encourage such behavior, think it is okay, or are just negligent in dealing with it. These kids are constantly the center of everything, excuses are made for their sins, and then they grow up believing they are the center of the universe and it expresses itself in their marriages, friendships, jobs, and every other relationship and our kids are completely unable to love anyone but themselves, and part of the reason for this is because they were always made to be the center of their homes, and their parents would not discipline them. We could go on and on about the brokenness of family in our country. God’s teaching on family is not welcome, it is not wanted, it is not received, it is not obeyed, and it is not appreciated. But God, by his grace has moved in our hearts and has saved us right in the middle of this lost and broken world that we have very much been a part of. Now, in our salvation, God wants to move in our families and heal our hearts from the sin we have experienced, he wants to cleanse our souls from the sins we have committed in relation to family, and he wants to live in each one of our family members and shine brightly in our homes as we conform to the image of Christ and our families live into God’s design. 3. We Have a Great Opportunity I see this next season in our church as a tremendous opportunity for us. It is an amazing opportunity for us because if our families grow still more in living into God’s design for our homes as he dwells among 3 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 us, both our homes and our church will be tremendously strengthened in Christ. The opportunity for our fellowship and love to increase in our families and the church is amazing as well! How deep of bonds do you form with brothers and sisters in the faith who lovingly help you grow in your family? We also have a great chance to enhance, strengthen, and brighten our evangelism if our families grow in Christ. We’ve already covered how broken and dysfunctional our society is in relation to family, how bright of a light will a God‐centered, Gospel‐driven, Spirit‐filled, loving family that adheres to the biblical design shine in our city in contrast to all of the rampant dysfunction? 4. This will be Fiercely Opposed by Satan I believe with all of my heart, that God‐centered, Gospel‐driven, Spirit‐filled families are one of the last things that Satan wants to see happen. He especially does not want to see a church of several families like this because it is such a mighty weapon against him and the strongholds he has sown in our land. If you press into this expect Satanic opposition, expect difficulties to arise, expect to be tempted, and expect to encounter resistance. When these things happen, think it not strange, but rather, be encouraged that we are growing in grace and are therefore being resisted by Satan, because we are on the right track and he fears us growing in this. II. How Will You Respond? 1. We are the Victims and the Perpetrators So as we think about renewing our minds with the biblical teachings on family, we all have a story to tell as it pertains to our own history with family. As I mentioned at the service last week, almost every person in the church is a first generation believer. That being the case, we have all grown up in ungodly homes where dysfunctionality, generational cycles of sin, mass destruction, and great confusion have dominated our family history. Though we may have grown up in very different parts of the world, have very different experiences, and have diverse backgrounds, one thing that we all have in common is that no matter what our experience in family is, whether it is the family we grew up in, the family we are raising, or the family we are taking a grandparent role in, every single one of us have been victims of sin committed against us in our families, and every single one of us have also been guilty of sinning against our families. We are both the victim and the perpetrator in our families. What that means is that all of us need to heal and forgive in relation to what has happened to us, and through the Gospel, we have a God who is more than sufficient to do that work in us. Furthermore, all of us need to be forgiven and saved from our sins that we have committed against our own family members. Again, God is sufficient and merciful and gracious to do these things in and through the Gospel if we will face them and bring them to Jesus. Beyond these things, not only do we need to heal, forgive, and be forgiven, but we also need to be changed by the power of God into the godly family 4 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 members that we are called to be. God is also infinitely beyond sufficient to do this for us through his Gospel as he makes us new creatures in him and sanctifies us by his grace as we walk with him. There is not one perfect family in this world, nor is there a perfect family member. Everyone has imperfections, sins, and difficulties to deal with, both individually and in our families. The challenge I have for you during this study is are you willing to face those things for what they are, confess them by name, bring them to Jesus, and seek God for the grace you need to grow that you might go deeper with him? It would be so sad to see what God’s Word has to say about family, see where you need to grow, and then tragically make 10,000 excuses for your sin and shrink back from God. You could have a loving brother or sister in Christ come alongside you and try to minister to you for your growth, and then harden yourself towards that person, become angry at them, and maybe even slanderous of them and divisive. As idols are exposed, as cherished sins become uncovered, and as deep wounds get tapped on, what will you do? 2. Gospel Hope for Families There is not one hurt you have received from your family, no matter how painful, that God cannot heal through the Gospel as he draws near to you and meets you with his love. There is not one sin you have committed against your family, no matter how destructive, that cannot be forgiven in Christ. Beyond that, there is not any epic failure you have gone through that is so devastating that it is impossible for God to give you hope and a future if you walk with him. I am pleading with you to be ruthless about your sin, open to God and others as appropriate as it pertains to where you and your family really are, and to be filled with hope as you bring these things to the Lord. He can do so much with a contrite, honest, and humble heart that is hungry for Him. The growth in you and your family will be amazing if you come like that. If you are an image lover who is obsessed with what others think, lay it down and die to that. It is exhausting to keep the front going. It isn’t real, you can’t live up to your front, and one day God will expose you before the entire creation as a fraud. There really is nothing to be gained by clinging to the false image you want people to see when they look at you. I really believe with all of my heart that the measure of your hunger for God, is seen in how willing you are to deal with where you are really at, and how eager you are to come to God with those sins through the Gospel, and grow in grace as you walk with him. 3. Questions to consider How different would your life be if you were no longer enslaved to the bitterness and un‐forgiveness you have towards other family members? How different would your emotional life and your thought life be if your heart was truly healed from all that you have endured as a member of a family? How different would your life be if you genuinely felt deeply connected to the forgiving grace of God through 5 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 the cross in relation to the sin you have committed in your family? How different would your family look if you sincerely had a great breakthrough in that which holds you back and hinders your witness and usefulness in your family interactions? 4. Good News We have a God who is very gracious and loving and merciful. He is also mighty to save and transform us. He does it free of charge, he does it by his grace, and he does it in the context of walking in a relationship with you. God can show you how to become a great Father, because he himself is a perfect Father and will father you with all of his love so that you can take what you have received from him and love your children with it. God himself can show you how to become a great husband because Jesus himself is the Great Bridegroom who has a perfect love for his bride, the church. As he fulfills all that a husband is called to be in your life, you will be able to take what you have received from him and give it to your wife. God himself can show you how to be a great wife, because being willing to submit to someone who has authority over you is exactly what is in God. The Son submits to the Father in all things and he is not less glorious because of it, he is more glorious. He can show you the joy of living into this as you submit to him, and as you walk with him as a wife, he is intimately aware of all of the temptations that those who are called to submit must endure. He can come near in a special way to you as one who has also submitted, and as he teaches you to submit to him and shows you the joy of it, you will be able to joyfully submit to your husbands. God himself can show you how to become a great mother, because as he is tender and nurturing towards you, and you can take that same love that you have received from him and give it to your children. God can show you how to become a great child because Christ himself is the perfect Son. He knows the joy of obedience to his Father and even says that it is his food to obey him! As he walks with you in this he can show you the way to be a great son or daughter as you get intimate with him, because he himself has lived this. There is a peculiar fellowship with God in each of these roles because God himself embodies all of them in perfection and he lives in us through the Gospel! As he gives you his own presence as he indwells you, you can give to others what you have received from him and thus become a godly family member. But you cannot give what you have not received. If you are not the dad, husband, mother, wife, or child you want to be, may I suggest that the starting point is for you to come to Christ and drink deeply of him again, or maybe for the first time. We are empty. There is nothing in us that we are going to bring to 6 | P a g e The Gospel‐Driven Family Introductory Overview Pastor Reggie Sanchez, Gospel Community Church Devotion 1 the table. “As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me.” (Jn. 6:57) We must be filled with him ourselves, if we are going to have any hope of filling our families with him. 5. The Pattern As we go through this study, we are going to consider God’s design for each family member because we can’t live into our calling and roles if we do not know what they are. From there we will consider how God himself lives into those realities within the Trinity and in his relationship with us. We must know how God is the source of our ability to live into these things if we are to feed off of him to rightly fulfill our particular family role. After that we will consider the particular sins and failures that tend to accompany a given family role, because we cannot correct what we do not know, or see, or will admit has gone wrong. If we blind and harden ourselves to where we are, we will never become what God intends for us to be in our families. So we must diagnose the problems if we are to have any hope in solving them. We will then apply Gospel‐centered grace and ask God to draw near and heal our particular wounds that we have received from family members who have sinned against us, and we will seek his forgiveness and transformation for the sins we have committed as a family member. These things are not something that we can do for ourselves, nor can we do for each other apart from God. Without God we have no hope, but if God be for us and our families, who can be against us? His Gospel, his grace, and his presence in us is our hope for growth and grace in our families. It is my prayer that he will come near through his word, through prayer, and through his people and meet us all in powerful ways and help us to grow closer to him and shine forth his glory more brightly in our families. We are going to take our time with this and I have no pre‐conceived notions about how long it will take. It will take as long as it takes. 6. Is there anything we can be praying about or anything anybody wants to share? 7 | P a g e