Vol. 15 Issue 12
All Rights Reserved © 2017
NOTE FROM JUDGE
During court one busy day,
the judge quietly passed the
clerk, a note reading: "Blind on
right side, may be falling. Please
call someone."
Understandably alarmed the
clerk called for help before
rushing back to the judge’s
side to whisper that paramedics were on their way.
Puzzled, the judge pointed to a
sagging Venetian blind on the
right side of the courtroom
and said, "I was thinking maybe someone from maintenance!"
WHETHER THE WEATHER
Whether the weather be fine or
whether the weather be not.
Whether the weather be cold or
whether the weather be hot;
we'll weather the weather
whatever the weather,
whether we like it or not.
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THOSE WHO EXPECT TO REAP THE BLESSINGS OF FREEDOM MUST, LIKE MEN, UNDERGO THE FATIGUE OF SUPPORTING IT
WHO’S THE BLONDE NOW?
An attractive blonde applied to be an accountant and went for
an aptitude test.
Tester: If I give you two rabbits, two more rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?
Blonde: Seven!
Tester: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits,
two more rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits
do you have?
Blonde: Seven!
Tester: Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of
soda pop, two more bottles of soda pop, and another two bottles of soda pop, how many bottles of soda pop do you have?
Blonde: Six.
Tester: Good! Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and
another two rabbits, how many rabbits do you have?
Blonde: Seven!
Tester: That’s right! But how on
earth do you work out that three
lots of two rabbits are seven?
Blonde: I already have a rabbit at
home!
A ROCK STORE WAS CLOSED BY THE POLICE. SEEMS THEY WERE TAKING TOO MUCH FOR GRANITE
A HUG IS A HANDSHAKE FROM THE HEART
MONEY AND GREED MUDDY THE WATERS AND THE NEEDS OF THE PEOPLE ARE DROWNED OUT IN THE DISCUSSIONS OF THE BOTTOM LINE
PRAY THAT YOU MAY BE ADMITTED INTO THE KINGDOM PREPARED BY GOD FOR THOSE WHO LOVE, FEAR AND TRULY SERVE HIM
DON’T FORGET TO BE A CHRISTIAN
THE SUPREME
COURT BUILDING MAINTAINS ITS OWN POLICE FORCE, THE SUPREME COURT POLICE
WHENEVER I FEEL BLUE, I START BREATHING AGAIN
DIAPER SPELLED BACKWARD IS REPAID
THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A STATUE ERECTED TO THE MEMORY OF SOMEONE WHO LET WELL ENOUGH ALONE
THE WORLD KNOWS YOU AS YOU ARE, NOT AS YOU THINK YOU ARE
SCIENCE MAY NEVER COME UP WITH A BETTER OFFICE COMMUNICATIONS SYSTEM THAN THE COFFEE BREAK
* On March 27, 1905, the high-profile
murder of two London shopkeepers is
solved using fingerprint evidence for the
first time when a thumbprint found on the
side of the cashbox was matched to one
of the suspects.
* On March 31, 1492, in Spain, a royal edict is issued by the
nation's Catholic rulers declaring that all Jews who refuse to
convert to Christianity will be expelled. Most Spanish Jews
chose exile rather than renounce their religion and culture.
* On April 2, 1917, President Woodrow Wilson asks Congress to send U.S. troops into battle against Germany in World War I. Four days later,
Congress obliged. Wilson then
signed the Selective Service Act,
which required men between 21 and
35 years of age to register for the
draft. The Army quickly grew from
200,000 troops to 4 million.
THE BIBLE TELLS US TO LOVE OUR NEIGHBORS, AND ALSO TO LOVE OUR ENEMIES; PROBABLY BECAUSE GENERALLY THEY ARE THE SAME PEOPLE
* On March 28, 1941, workers start
clearing trees from hundreds of
acres of land 30 miles west of Detroit, in preparation for construction
of the Ford Motor Company's Willow Run plant, which will build B-24
bomber planes. Early on the plant was
plagued by labor shortages and earned
the nickname "Willit Run?"
* On March 29, 1973, two months after the signing of the
Vietnam peace agreement, the last U.S. combat troops leave
South Vietnam. The accord was short-lived, and by early
1974 full-scale war had resumed.
* On March 30, 1981, President Ronald Reagan is shot in
the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by deranged
drifter John Hinckley Jr. As Reagan was prepared for surgery, he quipped to his surgeons, "Please tell me you're Republicans."
* On April 1, 1963, the ABC television network
airs the premiere episode of "General
Hospital," the daytime drama that will
become the longest-running serial program produced in Hollywood. On the
same day, rival NBC debuts its own
medical-themed soap opera, "The Doctors."
(c) 2017 King Features Synd., Inc.
THE SAME PEOPLE WHO CAN DENY OTHERS EVERYTHING ARE FAMOUS FOR REFUSING THEMSELVES NOTHING
THE OPPRESSED ARE MORALLY OBLIGATED TO PROTEST
1. ANIMAL KINGDOM: What is the world's slowest mammal?
2. HISTORY: Which was the only Confederate state capital
east of the Mississippi that did not fall to the Union Army
during the Civil War?
3. LITERATURE: Who wrote the novel "Catch-22"?
4. MOVIES: What famous movie had the tagline, "In space
no one can hear you scream"?
5. GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Who does the Swiss Guard
protect?
6. MEDICINE: What is an otolaryngologist more commonly
known as?
7. MUSIC: Which 1980s song featured the lyrics, "Risin' up,
straight to the top, had the guts, got the glory"?
8. FOOD & DRINK: What is sauerkraut made from?
9. AD SLOGANS: What product featured the slogan, "When
it rains, it pours"?
10. FAMOUS QUOTES: Which U.S. president once said,
"Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves"?
Answers
1. The three-toed sloth
2. Tallahassee, Florida
3. Joseph Heller
4. Alien (1979)
5. The pope
(c) 2017 King Features Synd., Inc.
6. Ear, nose and throat doctor
7. "Eye of the Tiger"
8. Cabbage
9. Morton Salt
10. Abraham Lincoln
I THANK GOD FOR MY EXISTENCE
UNFAIR TREATMENT AND LAWS
TIME IS A DRESSMAKER SPECIALIZING IN ALTERATIONS
TERM LIMITS ARE GOOD BECAUSE, WHEN THE PEOPLE ARE NOT MADE TO CHOOSE, THEY WILL NOT PARTICIPATE IN THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT
DRAW A CIRCLE, NOT A HEART, AROUND THE ONE YOU LOVE, BECAUSE A HEART CAN BREAK BUT A CIRCLE GOES ON FOREVER
THE COMMON MAN IS KEPT DOWN IN ORDER TO ALLOW GREED AND CORRUPTION TO FLOURISH
GOVERNMENT IS REQUIRED TO CARE FOR ITS CITIZENS AND LISTEN TO THEIR VOICES
IT IS INDEED TRUE THAT WE LIVE IN TRAGIC TIMES, BUT TOO MANY PEOPLE CONFUSE TRAGEDY WITH DESPAIR
THE SUPREME COURT
God gave Moses the Ten Commandments to serve as
rules of moral behavior for the human race. The Ten
Commandments of God are the foundation of the moral
code and legal system of justice for Western Christian
civilization.
The architecture of the U. S. Supreme Court building
reflects this biblical foundation. At the center of the
sculpture over the east portico of the Supreme Court
Building, there is the image of Moses holding the two
tablets of the Ten Commandments; these are also engraved over the chair of the Chief Justice and on the
bronze doors of the Supreme Court.
The Ten Commandments are found in the Old Testament Books of Exodus (20:1-17) and Deuteronomy (5:6
-21). God gave Moses the Ten Commandments on two
tablets of stone on Mount Sinai in the Book of Exodus.
They are the moral agreement between God and
the Israelites.
"He proclaimed to you his covenant,
which he commanded you to
keep: the Ten Commandments,
which he wrote on two tablets
of stone." Deuteronomy 4:13
THE SUPREME COURT HAS A BASKETBALL COURT ON THE 5TH FLOOR; THEY CALL IT THE "HIGHEST COURT IN THE LAND"
THE BEST WAY TO KEEP ONE'S WORD IS NOT TO GIVE IT
THOSE WHO EXPECT TO REAP THE BLESSINGS OF FREEDOM MUST, LIKE SOLDIERS, UNDERGO THE FATIGUE OF SUPPORTING IT
FREEDOM IS THE OXYGEN OF THE SOUL
SEMPER FI FUND: A WORTHY CHARITY
Since 2004, the Semper Fi Fund has awarded more than $143
million in assistance to 18,000 service members and veterans.
Wow. Too often we hear about scams that collect money allegedly for veterans, and later it turns out they were using the donations to support their own lavish lifestyles. Not this one:
Semper Fi is the real deal. Additionally, for the sixth year in a
row, Semper Fi paired up with The Bob and Renee Parsons
Foundation, which pledged to match all donations up to $10
million. The "Double Down for Veterans" campaign netted $20
million, kickstarted by GoDaddy with a $50,000 donation. (If
you have a website, that name might be familiar if you registered your domain name with them. What you might not know
is that GoDaddy founder Bob Parsons is himself a Vietnam-era
veteran.) Again, wow.
RELY ON THE MERCY OF THE REDEEMER NOT ON YOUR WORKS
Semper Fi, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, provides immediate financial
help to post-9/11 wounded, critically ill or injured service
members and veterans. Semper Fi was started in 2004 by a
group of military wives, and they still run the program. Help is
provided in many forms: adaptive housing, education and career transitioning, family support, adaptive transportation,
sports programs, service-dog training, caregiver support and
more. Charity Watch rates Semper Fi an A-plus, and Charity
Navigator ranks it at 98/100. To learn more, check out its website at www.semperfifund.org.
You know what to do now, right? If you can, pull out your
checkbook and send a few dollars to this very worthy organization. Donate at the Semper Fi website or send a check to:
Semper Fi Fund 825 College Blvd, Suite 102
PMB 609 Oceanside, CA 92057
Be sure to include a Semper Fi Fund's
Check Donation Form from its website.
For questions, send email to [email protected].
(c) 2017 King Features Synd., Inc.