Round II
ENERGY Drink Showdown
Ah, the second round of energy drink trials are upon us. Who will come out on top? Here at U., we’ve tested over
twenty energy drinks to find out which one has achieved enlightenment. In this contest, there will be winners and losers, but each
one has received a unique award denoting how special they each are. You’ll be happy with any of the drinks that made the top 10.
Wake
Me Up
Giddy up partner! We've given
this one the coveted Master of
the Chi award.
Master
of the
Chi
Before you
Go-Go
Red Stallion
Forgive
us Father
This sweet little morsel packs a
serious punch. You won't find
pictures of Wham! on the can,
and as cute as they may be,
George Michael and Andrew
Ridgeley got shambootied by a
punk rooster. Go figure. Minus
the drama, we guarantee that
Rooster Booster will leave you
crowing for more.
www.rooster-booster.com
has the essence of cream soda
coupled with Big Red. It’s
just cream-sodylicious. We
believe a supreme force took
part in creating this fine beverage. It gave us plenty of
energy without any of those
nasty side effects that mortals
tend to overlook when formulating energy drinks. Out
of all the other concoctions
we tested, this one was the
most enlightened.
www.redstallionbev.com
<--Best ( based on taste, effect, and after-taste) -Swill Bucket \_/ -->
Brands
Manufacturer
Red Stallion
Red Devil Body Slam
Rooster Booster
Adrenaline Rush
Merlins
Jones Energy Drink
Red Bull
180
Dark Dog
US Energy
Shark Energy
Amped
KMX Orange
Crazy Larry's
KMX Blue
Crazy Larry's Blue
XS Energy
Whoop Ass
Pysch
Raize
Joseph World Bev.
Nations Beverage Co.
National Product Grp
SoBe
Merlins
Jones Soda
Red Bull
Budweiser
Dark Dog
United Brands Co.
Shark Energy USA
Pepsi.
Delaware Punch Co.
Nations Beverage Co. Inc.
Delaware Punch Co.
Nations Beverage Co. Inc.
XS
Jones Soda
Coca Cola
Coca Cola Co.
Old
Standard
Award:
Red Bull
Many use this as the
measuring stick for
all energy drinks.
Their commercials
seem to have come
from the mind of a
troubled seven yearold, but we won’t
hold that against Red
Bull. Even though
there are a variety of
choices out there, Red
Bull is always a savvy
option.
www.colleges.com
The No You
Didn't
Award:
Whoop
Ass
Red Devil Body Slam
Now, we all know the devil is
bad, but if he’s so bad, how
could he possibly create such a
sweet, sweet beverage? Alas, we
knew were being tempted, but
we took the bait anyway. This
Nectar of the Cloven Hoof is
fruity and succulent. The fact
that Red Devil Body Slam is
really not made by the devil
made us all rest a little easier.
www.reddevilusa.com
Most Patriotic
Award:
U.S. Energy
We all know that if this drink
isn't ranked in the top ten,
we'll all be put on some kind of
list. Seriously though, US energy boasts a smooth and
fruity taste explosion that will
pump up anyone's vibe.
Supersize 16oz cans
Ballin award:
Adrenaline Rush
This was last year’s winner
of the energy drink showdown. Even though we have
more players in the competition this year, Adrenaline
Rush gets big props for being
real and very mango-licious.
Taste Test Ranking
#1.
#2.
#3.
#4.
#5.
#6.
#7.
#8.
#9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
For We have
Sinned
Rooster Booster
Loopty
Loop
Most Likely to Give You
the Shakes Award:
180 Energy Drink
Mmmm, mmmm. This drink
tastes delicious, like orange
pop, but packs a potent mix of
energy boosters. Beware of
drinking too many of these
–this one is to savor, not to
slam.
Hay Hay Hay
Award:
Jones Energy Drink
This beverage will pep even
the most lethargic couch potato right up. When you're ready
to go out and party, this is the
drink to grab.
Huzzah! Award:
Merlins Energy
I'll take a quaff of this peachy
libation any time. Speaking of
libation, a little bird told me it
also tastes phenomenal when
mixed with vodka.
What the Hell is
That On Your Can
Award:
Dark Dog
It’s not a dog, not quite a
puppy, but we seriously don't
know what it is. Anyway, we
do know that this tasty dark
beverage has a kick to it. Dark
dog is the #2 energy drink
worldwide, which is just now
entering the U.S. market.
Love-Child Award:
Amp
If Windex and Mountain
Dew had a love child, it
would be a sassy little girl
named Wendy-Dew. Amped
had the distinction of being
either loved or hated by our
tasters, with no middle of the
road "ok, her can’s pretty cute,
we’ll cut her some slack" votes.
Bucket O' Swill Award
Amp, KMX Orange, KMX Blue,
Crazy Larry's Orange, Crazy
Larry's Blue. XS Energy, Whoop
Ass, Psych. Raize
As I stated
before, it tastes
like Flintstones
vitamins and
urine. I don't
know how
many more
times I have
to say it, but
kids, don't try
this at home.
None of these beverages fared too well
on their own, but when a bit of each
was poured into our common swill
bucket, the result was amazing! All of
our testers agreed that the combination
of these drinks in the swill bucket created an energy mixture that would definitely place in the top ten.
U. The National College Magazine
Spring
2003
11