Defense Mechanisms
What is a defense mechanism?
Situation
• Disrespected
• Yelled At
• Put Down
• Laughed At
Choice
Who chooses
the defense?
How do you
protect your
feelings?
How do you respond (act) when:
• Mad At Parent
• Embarassed
• You Lose
• Feel Pressure
• You’re Hit
• Make A Mistake
• Confronted
• Frustrated
• Blamed
• Get Caught
• Hurt
• Angry
Four Steps to Control Your D.M.
Feeling
1. Recognize the situation.
When you are in a pressure situation, these are the signs:
You feel angry, frustrated, nervous.
ve
Negati
Positiv
e
What outward behaviors can you use to help control the pressure?
2. Identify the situations where you can practice step 1.
What are the situations you need to practice this?
3. Don’t let other people control how you will respond.
“Easy” “Hard”
You know that someone is trying to control you if they are
yelling at you, physically attacking you, or putting you down.
This gives you
self-respect.
Why?
4. Select a positive solution.
What would motivate you to do the tougher (harder) thing?
What might happen if you stay in control?
Defense
How do you know when you’ve selected a positive
defense mechanism?
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“When you are helping, not hurting, yourself and others.”
www.whytry.org
Defense Mechanisms:
Table of Contents
1.
1 to 100
2. Bad, Better, Best
3. Black and White
4.
Blowout
5. Creative Pyramid
6.
Fair Trade
7.
Finger Tangle
8. Frustration Squares
9. Hands of Stress
10. Luck of the Dice
11. Moods
12. Mouse Trap
13. Name Writing Activity
14. No-Fair Candy Game
15. Positive Attack
16. Tall Against Small
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Defense Mechanisms
1. 1 to 100
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 4-12
Group Size: 4 or more
Time: 10-15 minutes
Introduction: This activity will teach youth that it is important to stay in control when faced with a pressure situation.
Materials:
• 1 paper and pencil per person
• 1 die per group
Activity:
Divide the group or class into equal-size groups of four and up to six. Give a paper to each person in the group. If possible, have the group sit around a table with only one pencil or pen in the middle of the table. Give one die to one of the
students to start the activity. Each person takes a turn at rolling the die. When a six comes up, the student picks up the
pencil and begins to write on his/her paper as fast as he/she can in order 1 up to 100. The other members continue to
roll the die. As soon as another six is rolled, the person with the pencil places it in the middle of the table and the person
who rolled the six picks it up and begins to write on their own paper 1 to 100. The first person who can write on their own
personal paper all the numbers up to 100 is the winner. Keep in mind that the only time you can write is after you have
rolled a number six. When another six comes up, you must give up your pencil to another player.
Processing the Experience:
Notice how the students respond to the stress and pressure of the game. Do they stay in control or lose control of their
emotions?
• What emotions and feelings did you have during this activity?
• Did you express them in a positive or negative way?
• How did you feel when someone ripped the pencil out of your hand after they rolled a 6?
• When a student was about to reach 100, how did the group respond?
• How did the person who won respond, and how did each of the players react to the situation?
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Defense Mechanisms
2. Bad, Better, Best
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Group
Grades: 3-12
Group Size: 3 or more
Time: 10 minutes
Introduction: When we are faced with situations that make us angry, we can handle them by choosing a bad way, a
good way, or a best way. This activity is designed to help students brainstorm about positive ways to handle anger, and
to promote a discussion about how the ways in which we choose to handle our anger can affect those around us.
Materials:
• 3x5 cards or small pieces of paper
• 1 pencil per student
Activity:
Give each student a pile of 3x5 cards or small pieces of paper. Ask them to create three piles in front of them. They
should write “Bad” on the top card in one pile, “Better” on the next one, and “Best” on the third.
Create a few scenarios that would make the students in your class angry based on what you know about them. Read
these to the class one at a time. After a scenario is read, each person must write down a bad way of handling the situation on the “bad” card, a better way on the “better” card, and a best way on the “best” card. Have the students place
their responses on their respective papers. Do this for several scenarios. After all the scenarios have been read, take
the “bad” papers and read all the responses. Discuss the consequences of handling anger in this manner. Do this next
for the “better” papers and conclude with the “best” papers. You may want to make sure to separate the 3x5 cards after
each response so you know which scenario the cards are responding to.
Some examples of scenarios might include:
Your best friend is ignoring you.
You’re the last one chosen to be on a team.
A false rumor is spread about you.
Processing the Experience:
• What did you learn from this activity?
• Was it easier to think of a response to the bad, better, or best category?
• Do you tend to express anger in a bad or good way? Why?
• How can you change the way you respond in pressure situations?
• How can handling anger in a bad way affect those around us?
• Which way leads to the most opportunity, freedom, and self-respect?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
3. Black and White
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Object lesson
Grades: K-12
Group Size: 2 or more
Time: 10 minutes
Introduction: We have all heard that there are two sides to every story. In reality, there are usually at least three: your
side, their side, and the facts. Because we see everything through the filter of our own experiences, we might respond
completely differently than another person to the same event. If we are able to acknowledge this, however, we can push
aside our preconceptions and be better able to see the real problem. This activity reinforces this idea, while helping students put themselves in another person’s shoes. When we try to see another’s point of view rather than simply arguing
our own points, it will become easier to utilize positive defense mechanisms and resolve conflict.
Materials:
• 1 black piece of paper and 1 white piece of paper, glued together so that one side is black and the other white.
Activity:
Have two students come to the front of the class, face each other, and close their eyes. Bring out the paper (do not let
them see the paper beforehand). Hold the paper between the two students at eye level so one student sees the white
side and the other sees the black side. Have them open their eyes and ask each student, “What color do you see?”
Then ask the class why they are giving different answers when they are both looking at the same piece of paper. After
brief discussion, read the following story.
Driving By
Once a family decided to take a nice afternoon drive. While they were driving along a road enjoying the day, they saw a
young man a little ways ahead of them, lying in the ditch off to the side of the road. They could barely see him because
the grass was so tall. They could also see a bike lying next to him. As they drove a little closer, they could see he would
rise up slightly each time a car passed by and throw an object in the direction of the car. As they got up next to him, they
saw him wind up and throw a rock directly at their car. The father sped up as he passed, trying to get by without being hit
by the rock. But the young man’s aim was good, and the rock hit the side window of their car. The window smashed into
pieces and the children sitting in the back screamed and ducked down as low as they could. The family drove down the
road a couple of miles when the father spotted a police car. They signaled to the police officer to stop. They all pulled
over to the side of the road and the family told the police officer what had happened to them and what they had seen.
They told him that back on the road a few miles there was a young man who was hiding in the grass and throwing rocks
at cars as they passed by. They asked the officer to investigate the situation and arrest the young man for breaking their
car window and putting their family in danger.
Stop reading and ask students to raise their hand if they think the officer should arrest the young man. Continue reading
the rest of the story. Tell the students that now they will hear the young man’s side of the story.
The young man had a job delivering newspapers. He was riding along his route delivering papers as usual, when a large
truck slid on some gravel at the turn of the road. In an attempt to avoid getting hit by the truck, the young man swerved.
He lost control of his bike and hit a large rock at the side of the road. Upon impact, the young man flew off his bike and
flipped into the air. He landed awkwardly at the bottom of the ditch, and one of his legs was badly broken. He was
knocked unconscious for a while. When he awoke, his leg hurt so badly he could barely move. For hours he tried to pull
himself up the side of the ditch. For nearly an hour he tried to get the attention of passing cars by waving in the air, but
he was so well hidden in the weeds that no one stopped. His leg was bleeding and he was becoming very weak. At last,
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in desperation, he tried to throw rocks at passing cars, hoping to get someone to see him and stop. Unfortunately, most
of the cars were going so fast that no one noticed. When a car finally came by that was driving slower, the boy gave it his
best shot. He was relieved when the rock hit the car, but disappointed when the car sped off.
Processing the Experience:
• How does this new information affect what you were thinking about the young man who was lying in the weeds?
• Are both people in this story telling the truth?
• How can two people see the same event and feel differently about it?
• Can two people with different stories both be right?
• What is the difference between “listening” to someone and “understanding” someone?
• Why is it important to see things from another person’s point of view?
• How can considering the other person’s point of view help us use better defense mechanisms?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
4. Blowout
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Object lesson
Grades: 1-12
Group Size: 3 or more
Time: 5 minutes
Introduction: This activity is designed to show students that “blowing up” or losing control of their temper is not an effective or positive defense mechanism. Blowing up may make us feel better temporarily, but long term solutions come only
through communication and understanding.
Materials:
• 1 plastic cone, funnel, or cardstock rolled into a funnel and taped, about 11 inches long, with a 3-4 inch diameter
on the wide side and a ¼ inch diameter on the narrow end.
• 1 Ping-Pong ball
Activity:
Have a participant come and sit down in front of the class. Give your participant the cone or funnel, then give him/her
the Ping-Pong ball and ask them to place it in the funnel. Now challenge them to hold the funnel high and blow into the
bottom, trying to blow the Ping-Pong ball out of the funnel. Once they have made their attempt, repeat with two other
participants.
Students will soon realize that it is impossible to blow the Ping-Pong ball out of the funnel, because as soon as you blow
the ball up in the funnel, air passes around the edge of the ball and causes it to fall back down. No matter how hard you
blow, the most you can do is cause the ball to bounce up and down. This activity illustrates what happens when someone gets mad and blows up. When you are angry, you expend a lot of energy and yet never solve the problem.
Processing the Experience:
• Did you succeed at getting the ball out of the cone? Why or why not?
• Do you think if you blew for long enough that you would eventually see results? Why or why not?
• How did you feel during this activity?
• Why is anger never a very effective defense mechanism?
• Do problems get solved when we get angry?
• What are some positive ways to express anger?
• What are some positive ways to control anger?
• How can you solve a conflict without resorting to anger?
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Defense Mechanisms
5. Creative Pyramid
Spatial Requirements: Gym/outdoor space required
Activity Type: Movement/group or object lesson
Grades: 4-12
Group Size: 6 or more
Spatial Requirements: Gym/outdoor space required
Time: 15-20 minutes
Introduction: When we are in a stressful situation, we often respond or act in a negative way. This response actually
makes the situation worse. The goal of this activity is to learn that there are many positive ways to react to a pressure
situation.
Materials:
• Gym pad, carpeted area, or lawn
Activity:
Tell the group that they have two minutes to plan any type of pyramid, and one minute to put it together. The teams will
create different types of pyramid formations using members of the group. The ideal group size is six to ten members.
Many of the teams will come up with the traditional cheerleader pyramid. Tell them that they have to come up with a
different type of pyramid for the second round. They will have one minute to plan and 45 seconds to execute. Speed up
the process by allowing 45 seconds to plan and 30 seconds to build the pyramid. Next, allow only 30 seconds of planning and 15 seconds to form the pyramid. Then shorten the planning time to 20 seconds with ten seconds to build. To
close the challenge, give ten seconds to come up with a new pyramid and five seconds to put it together.
At the end of the activity, discuss why many of them chose the traditional pyramid the first time. Relate how, in real life,
people may apply the same negative defense mechanism over and over, running into the same negative results each
time. In a pressure situation, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.” If you
don’t like what you’re getting, do something different. Review the different types of pyramids the groups came up with.
Processing the Experience:
• What was challenging about this activity?
• Why did many of you choose a traditional cheerleader pyramid the first time?
• Why was it difficult to “think outside the box” and create a different kind of pyramid?
• Did it become more difficult as there was more pressure with less time?
• How is this like real-life pressure situations?
• Why do we often respond in negative ways when confronted with pressure situations? What are the results when
we respond this way?
• Why is it difficult to do something different?
• What approaches can you use to respond in positive ways next time you are in a pressure situation?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
6. Fair Trade
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 2-12
Group Size: 10 or more
Time: 10 minutes
Introduction: When solving a conflict between individuals, the best defense mechanisms are those that help us find a
solution where everyone wins. This lesson is designed to help students realize that a positive defense mechanism is one
in which you don’t focus on winning or even being right, but on the best way to meet everyone’s needs.
Materials:
• 5 pieces of paper per student, each about half the size of a playing card. This can be accomplished by cutting
8x11 paper into 8 equal pieces. Each set of five should be numbered 1 through 5 on one side, with only one
number on each piece.
Activity:
Take all of the papers and shuffle them randomly in one pile, then pass out five face-down number cards to each player.
Tell them not to look at them until you give the start signal. Explain that the goal is collect five cards with the numbers 1
through 5 on them (one of each). To accomplish this, students must trade cards with each other. Trading begins when
everyone has five cards and you give the signal. They can make a trade by approaching another player and saying,
“I need a three.” The other player must then hand over a card, but it doesn’t have to be a three. The other player can
choose whether or not to help. Players then switch roles, and the person who asked for a card gets to decide whether to
help the player or not. Once the trade is complete, students move on and find a new partner to trade with. The winners are the first five people to reach the goal of holding all five of the correct cards. Give them about three minutes to
complete the round. When the round is over, collect all the cards, shuffle them, and pass them out again.
In round two, the objective of the activity changes. This time, explain to the students that their goal is for as many
people as possible in the entire group to get the correct set of numbers before time is up. Emphasize that for the group
to win, they must have at least half of the people holding the correct cards. No one is a winner unless they reach that
goal. Everyone still makes trades with only one partner at a time, and all the other rules remain the same.
Processing the Experience:
• How successful were you in the first round? How helpful were you to others?
• How successful were you in the second round? How helpful were you to others?
• How did your attitude change when the goal for round two was announced?
• What can this activity teach us about defense mechanisms and conflict resolution?
• Why should we try to find win-win solutions to our conflicts?
• How does a “me first” attitude affect our defense mechanisms and our ability to resolve conflicts?
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Defense Mechanisms
7. Finger Tangle
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: K-12
Group Size: 2 or more
Time: 5-10 minutes
Introduction: This activity will help students see how they respond in pressure situations. It will encourage them to ask,
“What are the pressure situations in my own life that I need to change and respond to in a positive way?”
Materials:
• None
Activity: Ask the participants to pair up. One member of the pair will be the pointer and the other will tangle his/her
fingers (Let them select who will do what). Instruct the person that tangles his/her fingers to do the following:
Place your hands to your side (by your waist).
Cross your arms with your palms facing each other (by your waist).
Clasp your hands together by interlocking your fingers.
Twist your arms and hands and bring them up by your chin. (Demonstrate.)
Keep your fingers clasped tightly for the rest of the activity.
Ask the other team member to point to one of the partner’s fingers without touching it. The “tangled” team member must
try to move that finger up and down. Repeat the process with other fingers. Some will be able to do it, but most will
struggle to move any fingers.
Reverse the process by having the partners change roles.
Processing the Experience:
• Was it difficult to move the correct finger?
• Would this have been easier if your hands were laid out flat in front of you? Why was it more awkward when your
fingers were tangled?
• How did you feel when you struggled to move the correct finger?
• Did you get better as time went on? With practice, would you continue to improve?
• Tangling your fingers made it more confusing and difficult to control your fingers. Sometimes in life, pressure situations confuse us and make it difficult to control our actions. Are there pressure situations in life that are difficult to
respond to in a positive way? What are some examples?
• How can we improve how we respond to these situations?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
8. Frustration Squares
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 4-12
Group Size: 6, 12, 18, or 24
Time: 15-30 minutes
Introduction: When we respond negatively to a stressful situation, it usually becomes worse. The goal of this activity is
to show that our natural response is not always the best one; and that there are many positive coping mechanisms we
can choose as alternatives to deal with the pressures of life.
Materials:
• 6 envelopes per group of 6 people
• 1 set of 6 squares per group of 6 people, with the pieces mixed up and divided equally into the envelopes (A pattern of the 6 squares is provided at www.whytry.org/activities.)
• 1 copy of instructions/rules per group (These are found below as well as at www.whytry.org/activities.)
Activity:
Organize the participants into groups of six. Hand out the envelopes to each member. It doesn’t matter if some group
members do not have an envelope, or if there are more packets than group members. The contents of the envelopes will
be divided up evenly later. Group members are not allowed to open the envelope until the rules are given. The goal of
this task is to make six squares, all the same size. Give the following instructions to the group:
1. No talking, pointing, or any other kind of verbal or non-verbal communication to any member of your group.
2. Participants may give pieces to other participants, but may not take pieces from other members.
3. Participants may not simply throw their pieces into the center for others to take; they have to give pieces to an individual directly.
4. It is permissible to give away all pieces even if a square is formed.
5. All squares will be exactly the same size.
6. There is only one right way to make the six squares.
Ask the group if they have any questions. Have the group members open their packets. If packets are left over, divide
the contents between all members. If there are not enough packets for each person, take a piece from two or three
participants to equal out the number of pieces in front of each individual. Each table should have an observer watch to
make sure the rules are followed. Make sure to block the view from one group to another.
As an observer, you may want to look for some of the following behaviors:
1. Monitor the frustration level of the group as well as individual members.
2. What behaviors did members of the group show when they finished their own square? Did they divorce themselves
from the group?
3. How many people were mentally engaged in putting the pieces of the puzzle together?
4. Was there a turning point where members “put it together?”
5. Did anyone try to violate the rules by talking, pointing, or taking pieces from another group member?
6. What defense mechanisms did each member exhibit during the activity?
Processing the Experience:
• How involved was each member of the group?
• What made this activity successful?
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•
•
•
•
•
Who was willing to share pieces of the puzzle with others?
Did anyone try to violate the rules by talking, pointing, or taking pieces?
On a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high) what was the frustration level of the group?
On a scale of 1 (low) to 10 (high) what was your frustration level?
How do you deal with frustrations, challenges, anger, and stress in your own life?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
9. Hands of Stress
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Object lesson
Grades: 3-12
Group Size: 2 or more
Time: 5-10 minutes
Introduction: This activity is designed to help students understand that when the pressures and stresses of life mount
up, they have tools to respond in positive ways.
Materials:
• 16 large books
Activity:
Stack all of the books on top of each other on a table. Ask for a volunteer, and tell the volunteer that you are going to
add or take away a book to his/her outstretched hands as the group responds to questions. The volunteer is to keep his/
her arms as straight as possible during the activity.
Ask the students the following questions, and add a book to your volunteer’s outstretched hands for each negative
response. For each positive response, remove a book from the volunteer’s hands.
How do you respond or act when you are: (Go through seven or eight, or until the person holding the books cannot hold
any more.)
Disrespected
Yelled at
Put down
Laughed at
Mad at parents
Embarrassed
Made a mistake
Under pressure
You are hit
You lose
Confronted
Frustrated
Blamed
Get caught
Hurt
Angry
Processing the Experience:
• What did the books represent?
• Who chooses our defense mechanisms?
• How do you know if you have selected a positive defense mechanism?
• What happened to the volunteer when more books were added?
• What happens to you when you respond in a negative way to pressure situations?
• Is it easier to respond in a negative or positive way? Why?
• What are the reasons to respond in a positive way?
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Defense Mechanisms
10. Luck of the Dice
Spatial Requirements: Classroom with moderate space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 2-12
Group Size: 4 or more
Time: 10-15 minutes
Introduction: Life is not always fair, but we can choose how we react to the challenges it gives us. This activity will show
participants how they respond to unfair situations.
Materials:
• 1 die
• 1 piece of candy per student minus 1
Activity:
Sit in a circle, and place the candy and the die in the middle of the group. The person that has a birthday closest to yours
goes first. The rules are as follows:
1. A person can take a piece of candy only if a one (1) is rolled, but cannot eat it.
2. Play continues clockwise until the candy is gone.
3. Once the candy is gone, any participant who rolls a one (1) may take a piece of candy from any other person in the
group.
Play continues for a predetermined time (until the frustration comes or “That’s not fair” comments are made).
Processing the Experience:
• Did anyone notice that there was one less piece of candy than the number of participants?
• What thoughts went through your mind when you noticed that there was not enough candy for everyone?
• What kind of emotions did you experience in the game?
• Why isn’t life always fair?
• When was the last time that you did not get what you wanted?
• How do you act when you do not get what you want? Is that a positive or negative defense mechanism?
• If it is negative, what could you do different?
• How can you tell if a defense mechanism is positive or negative?
Defense Mechanisms
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Defense Mechanisms
11. Moods
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 3-12 (can be adapted for younger children with adult readers)
Group Size: 5 or more
Time: 20 minutes
Introduction: Sometimes, as a defense mechanism, we avoid expressing our emotions to others. This can make us feel
like no one truly understands us. This game is a fun way to practice effectively expressing our emotions and feelings to
others.
Materials:
• 2 chairs
• Slips of paper (optional)
Activity:
In the front of the class, set up two chairs next to each other and face them towards the class. Have the students sit on
the floor, or in chairs facing the front. Choose two students to sit in the chairs and tell them that they are sitting on the
“mood bench.” Whisper a different mood or emotion into the ear of each person sitting on the bench, or have them read
it off a piece of paper. Each person must act according to the mood they have been given; while the audience tries to
guess what mood each person is acting out. The two on the bench can engage in an impromptu dialog, or you can give
them a topic to discuss. Allow the two to talk for a while before asking the audience to guess their moods. Those who
guess correctly become the next participants to sit on the “mood bench” (or they may select someone else to take a
turn).
Ideas for the “mood bench:”
Upset
Self-assured Excited
In Love
AgitatedAssertive
Frustrated
Angry
NervousSad
Insecure
Hyper
You may want to list and discuss different emotions to make sure students know what they mean and how to act them
out. This will also help students guess the correct emotions.
Variation: This can also be played similar to the game “Moods.” You can have a list of emotions, printed on pieces of
paper and placed in a bag. Then have random phrases like, “Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty” listed on other
pieces of paper. Fold these papers and place them in another bag. Students take turns picking a piece of paper out of
each bag. One paper will be the phrase they have to say. The other will be the emotion they will try to express while saying it. Then the class tries to guess the emotion. You can play this as a group or in teams. If you play in teams, the team
tries to guess the emotion of the person from their team and receives a point for guessing correctly.
Processing the Experience:
• Which emotions were easier to guess? Which were harder?
• Was it frustrating when you weren’t being understood?
• How can understanding someone’s emotions help us better understand their behavior?
• How can you determine what emotions other people are feeling?
• Do you want others to know what you are feeling? Why? Why not?
• Why is it important to try to effectively express how you feel to others?
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Defense Mechanisms
12. Mouse Trap
Spatial Requirements: Classroom with moderate space required
Activity Type: Object lesson
Grades: K-12
Group Size: 2 or more
Time: 5-10 minutes
Introduction: Everyone gets angry. However, not everyone gets angry over the same things, nor does everyone react
the same way to situations that make them angry. This activity provides an opportunity to discuss different situations
that cause anger, and the ways in which that anger is expressed. You may also discuss positive defense mechanisms
that could be used to handle anger in a more controlled way.
Materials:
• 1 or more mousetraps
• 1 roll of masking tape
• Timer
• 1 pen or pencil per student
• 1 piece of paper per student
Activity:
As a class, brainstorm the things that make people angry. Write each of these items down on a piece of paper, and
crumple the pieces of paper into tight balls. Choose five or six students to come and stand in front of a line of masking
tape on the floor. Set a mousetrap, and place it on the floor three to five feet from the line of tape. Give a paper ball to
each student and have them, one at a time, throw the paper ball at the mousetrap. If the trap is sprung, it will need to be
reset before the next student throws his/her paper ball.
Processing the Experience:
• What do you think the mousetrap represents? (lashing out in anger, a short fuse, etc.)
• Does everyone get angry over the same things? Why or why not?
• How can you tell when someone is angry?
• How does being angry affect the way that we think?
• The mousetrap springing is like using a negative defense mechanism. It can be dangerous and hurtful to others
and even us. What are some examples of negative defense mechanisms?
• What are some positive ways we can deal with our anger instead?
Defense Mechanisms
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13
Defense Mechanisms
13. Name Writing Activity
Spatial Requirements: Regular classroom setup: little or no space required
Activity Type: Group
Grades: 2-12
Group Size: 2 or more
Time: 5 minutes
Introduction: In order to improve and make positive changes, we need to get out of our comfort
zone. This attention-grabbing activity shows students that this is possible with time and
practice.
Materials:
• Timer
• 1-2 pieces of paper per student
• 1 pen or pencil per student
• Background music (optional)
Activity:
Play the background music. Ask the group members to write their full name on the paper as
many times as they can in 30 seconds. After the time is up, have the participants count the total
number of times they were able to write their name. Repeat this activity two more times. Ask if
they improved after the third time. Now, have the group members change hands and repeat
the activity for 30 more seconds. Ask the first two processing questions. Ask, “Do you think you
can write your name with your eyes closed?” Have them try. This will come easy for them with
their dominant hand. Ask them to do the same thing with their non-dominant hand. Ask the
remaining processing questions.
Processing the Experience:
• Why was it easier to do this activity with the hand that you normally write with?
• Why was it harder when you changed hands?
• Why is change hard? (Discuss muscle memory. We are used to doing what comes naturally.)
• What do we usually do in pressure situations when someone yells, hits, or blames us?
• Why is it hard to do something different?
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13
Defense Mechanisms
14. No-Fair Candy Game
Spatial Requirements: Classroom with moderate space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 3-12
Group Size: 5 or more
Time: To be determined by you
Introduction: When life gives us unfair or frustrating situations, it is often difficult to control our anger and choose positive defense mechanisms. This game is purposefully unfair, and leads easily into a discussion about anger management, following rules, and choosing positive defense mechanisms.
Materials:
• 2 decks of cards
• Pair of dice
• Large bag of candy (enough for 5 pieces per student plus leftovers for the bowl in the middle)
• 1 copy of the rules per student (You can print copies of the rules from www.whytry.org/activities.)
Activity:
To prepare for this activity, combine two matching decks of cards minus the spades. Have students sit in a circle and
pass out five pieces of candy to each student, and set a large pot of candy in the middle of the group. Inform the group
that at the end of the game, they will be able to keep all the candy they have, but they are not to eat it until the end of the
game. You will also play the game. Give copies of the rules to each student for reference during the game. The game
ends when time expires (determine how much time you have) or when a few students are eliminated but some candy
still remains. Explain to the students that at the end of the game, you will decide who played with the most sportsmanship and they will get to keep whatever candy is left in the pot.
Rules of the Game:
1. When it is your turn, you may roll the dice or select a card.
2. If you roll the dice and get:
Odd- you must put a piece of candy in the pot (the middle of the table).
Even- you may take a piece of candy from anyone else’s pile.
Double- (this does not count as an even) you must give a piece of candy to someone else in the group.
3. If you draw a card and get:
Heart-you must give a piece of candy to the person on your right.
Club- you must give a piece of candy to the person on your left.
Diamond- you must put a piece of candy into the pot.
Spade- you get two pieces of candy from the pot.
4. If anyone is unfortunate enough to lose all their candy, they are eliminated from the game.
5. If you are eliminated from the game, you may continue to sit in the circle but can return to the game only if someone
gives you a piece of candy during the course of the game. No candy may be given to an eliminated person out of the
goodness of someone’s heart; the cards or dice must determine it.
6. The leader decides who displayed the best sportsmanship during the game, and this person gets to keep all the candy
left in the pot at the end of the game.
7. After the allotted time, the person who has the most candy wins, and everyone gets to keep the candy they have
acquired.
Defense Mechanisms
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13
Processing the Experience:
• Was this game fair? Why or why not?
• How did you feel while playing the game?
• How do you feel now?
• Do you ever feel that life is unfair?
• How do you handle things when they seem unfair?
• How might it help you to change how you act when life seems unfair?
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13
Defense Mechanisms
15. Positive Attack
Spatial Requirements: Classroom with moderate space required
Activity Type: Movement/group or object lesson
Grades: K-12
Group Size: 10 or more
Time: 10 minutes (object lesson); 20 minutes (group activity)
Introduction: When conflicts arise, a common defense mechanism is to attack the person involved. This negative
response doesn’t resolve the conflict but generally escalates it, making it more difficult to mend as time goes on. A better
solution is to attack the problem while showing respect for the people involved. This activity will reinforce this concept to
students.
Materials:
• 1 roll of masking tape
• 3 empty soda pop cans per team of 5
• 3 pieces of letter-size paper per team of 5
Activity:
Once the class has been divided into teams of five, create a starting line on the floor with the masking tape. Have each
team crumple their three pieces of paper into three balls, then make a pyramid out of their cans –two cans on bottom
and one on top – about five feet away from the starting line. This distance can be adjusted depending on the age group.
Explain to the teams that the top can represents the problems that arise from conflicts, and the bottom two cans represent the people involved. Explain that it is important to talk about the problem or issue when trying to resolve a conflict,
but it is not OK to attack the people involved. Each player will have three tries, using the three paper balls, to knock
the top can off the pyramid while leaving the two bottom cans standing upright. Each time a player does this, their team
receives 100 points. After a player makes three throws, he or she retrieves the paper balls and hands them over to the
next player, then proceeds to the back of the line. When the entire team has had a chance to throw, the round is over.
You may want to give the teams one practice round before the official scoring round begins. At the end of the challenge,
report the team scores to the group.
Processing the Experience:
• Did achieving the goal become easier after practice?
• What methods did you use to knock over the top can alone?
• How did you feel when you knocked over the bottom cans?
• What motivated you to keep trying?
• How does this apply to negative defense mechanisms?
• Why is it sometimes difficult to attack the problem and not the person involved?
• Why is attacking others not a successful defense mechanism?
• How can you stay in control when someone else is attacking you?
• What are some conflicts we’ll most likely face in life? How can we resolve them in a positive way?
• How can respecting everyone – regardless of the circumstances – benefit you in life?
Defense Mechanisms
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13
Defense Mechanisms
16. Tall Against Small
Spatial Requirements: Gym/outdoor space required
Activity Type: Movement/group
Grades: 2-12
Group Size: 6 or more
Time: 20 minutes
Introduction: This game is a good lesson in how things can at times be unfair, unbalanced or mismatched. It is good
for discussion about what is unfair and how we should handle unfair situations in a positive way. It will help students to
practice using anger control in a situation that is clearly unfair and frustrating.
Materials:
• A basketball, volleyball or beach ball
Activity:
Have the class line up tallest to shortest. Then divide the class in half so that one group consists of all the tallest
students (Team 1) and the other consists of all the shortest students (Team 2). Set up a game for the two teams where
height is an advantage, such as volleyball, basketball, or keep-away with a beach ball. The idea is that after playing for a
while, the tall team will be winning and the short team will be frustrated. Then change the rules and tell the tall team that
they must now play with one hand in their pocket (or tied behind their back). Play for a while longer with this rule change
so the tall team becomes frustrated.
Processing the Experience:
• How did you feel when the game was in your favor?
• How did you feel when it was not in your favor?
• Do you ever feel like life is unfair? When?
• How do people generally react to unfair situations in life?
• How do you react when you think something is unfair? Do you think your reaction is positive or negative?
• Is anger a good defense mechanism? Why or why not?
• What are some positive ways you can handle an unfair situation?
• What are some positive ways you can release your anger when you feel that something isn’t fair?
© WhyTry LLC 2013
DO NOT REPRODUCE. ONLY ONE PRINTED COPY PER LICENSE ALLOWED. ver. 04/11/13