Emo$onal Intelligence Amongst many of these emo$onal intelligence competences there is considerable overlap. The message is o;en the same and is repeated over and over again! 09/05/2014 1 09/05/2014 MODULE Emo$onal Intelligence COMPETENCE AREA Inter-­‐personal competences SUB-­‐MODULE
Empathy VERSION 2 DATE May 2014 2 The Emo$onal Intelligence Module consists of four competence areas: •  Intra-­‐personal competences – the personal competences that enable an individual to accurately assess their emo$onal intelligence and how this is likely to shape their rela$onship with the external world and with other people. •  Inter-­‐personal competences -­‐ applying intra-­‐personal competences to engaging with other people in meaningful and produc$ve ways. •  Adaptability -­‐ the competences that enable an individual to manage themselves and their rela$onships with others in response to changing situa$ons. •  Affec$ve competences – the competences that shape how an individual assesses their mood and how they manage their mood in rela$on to behaviours and rela$onships. There are three competences in each of these four competence areas. This overview covers one of the competences in the Inter-­‐personal competences area: Empathy 09/05/2014 3 A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO Empathy 09/05/2014 4 Empathy is Learned
09/05/2014 5 Summary • empathy is a learned personality trait which is essen$al for sa$sfying human rela$onships. • young children are directly affected by the degree of empathy their caregivers model and teach. • parents and teachers who proac$vely teach young kids how to iden$fy and understand their -­‐ and other people's -­‐ feelings in various situa$ons help kids develop empathy, and... • young children trauma$zed by adult neglect and abuse tend to show aggressive behaviour (e.g. "bullying") later. Start by teaching children to understand their own behaviour and feelings -­‐ it provides the basic tools for understanding the behaviour and feelings of others. For instance, when dealing with a child who has hurt another person, help him or her "anchor how they felt in the moment," 09/05/2014 6 Empathy Sympathy vs. Empathy 09/05/2014 Self-­‐Awareness 7 If you haven't experienced something similar to what another person has, you may be able to sympathise (intellectually understand) them somewhat. If you have had a similar experience, you may be able to empathise with (understand + feel) the other person's experience. For example: no maeer how sensi$ve men and childless women are, they cannot fully empathise with a new mother's experience of pregnancy and childbirth the way another mother can. Equally important is developing self-­‐awareness, self and mutual respect, and non-­‐ego$s$cal personal pride. Empathy without self-­‐respect and self-­‐love can mute or distort genuine altruism and compassion 09/05/2014 8 Early-­‐Childhood Trauma 09/05/2014 9 Premise -­‐ early-­‐childhood trauma causes psychological wounds, including being unable to feel, love, empathise, and bond appropriately with other people. An implica$on of research findings is that psychologically-­‐wounded people may think they're empathic, but don't know what genuine empathy feels like. So they feel "normal," and are unlikely to (a) admit or seek help for this crippling deficit, or to (b) teach and model true empathy for their kids. One implica$on is that unempathic (psychologically-­‐wounded) parents are unlikely to encourage empathy in their kids, so this developmental deficit will tend to pass down the genera$ons and weaken society 09/05/2014 10 Can Empathy Be Developed?
09/05/2014 11 Experience suggests "yes," if the person… •
is commieed to working on any significant psychological wounds -­‐ specially false self-­‐dominance and difficulty with other people; and... •
stays clear on the difference between sympathy and empathy and... •
is steadily mo$vated to improve personally -­‐ including with various people in different situa$ons; •
prac$ces no$cing, naming, and expressing her/his own feelings •
learns and prac$ces with various adults and children •
inten$onally no$ces how other people prac$ce and express empathy -­‐ or don't •
occasionally asks for honest (vs. polite) feedback from other people, like "Do you feel I'm reasonably empathic?" Major benefits from pa$ently doing these things include more effec$ve communica$on, more sa$sfying rela$onships, and increasing self-­‐confidence and self-­‐respect. 09/05/2014 12 Further Resources hep://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7AWnfFRc7g hep://www.onbeing.org/blog/an-­‐empathy-­‐video-­‐that-­‐asks-­‐you-­‐to-­‐stand-­‐in-­‐someone-­‐elses-­‐shoes/5063 Synonyms hep://thesaurus.com/browse/empathy BOOKS Empathy (Rogers Therapeu$c Condi$ons Evolu$on Theory & Prac$ce S.) The Power of Empathy: A Prac$cal Guide to Crea$ng In$macy, Self-­‐Understanding, and Las$ng Love [Paperback] Arthur P. Ciaramicoli , Katherine Ketcham) The Brighter Side Of Human Nature: Altruism And Empathy In Everyday Life by Alfie Kohn QUOTES www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/empathy 09/05/2014 13 Further Resources 2 More extensive test This is an combined version of Baron-­‐Cohen's Empathizing Quo$ent (EQ) and Systemizing Quo$ent (SQ) tests. The empathising–systemising theory developed by au$sm researcher Simon Baron-­‐Cohen proposes that on a level below normal personality there are individual differences in the wiring of the brain that result in two different modes a person may process informa$on: empathizing and systemizing. The theory developed out of Baron-­‐Cohen's work with au$sm where he hypothesized that the au$sm spectrum is an expression of extreme systemising; he also adapted it into the extreme male brain theory of au$sm. E-­‐S theory, par$cularly its connec$on to gender differences, is controversial. hep://personality-­‐tes$ng.info/tests/EQSQ.php On line Ar$cles hep://online.wsj.com/news/ar$cles/SB10001424052702304561004579137514122387446 hep://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ar$cle/item/six_habits_of_highly_empathic_people1 Also a portal for resources and informa$on about the values of empathy and compassion hep://cultureofempathy.com/ 09/05/2014 14 If you would like to learn more about this competence or any of the competence areas, why not visit the IGUANA Open Learning Space or return to the portal at hep://www.iguana-­‐project.eu 09/05/2014 15