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Model of a marked National 5 Critical Essay
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TASK: A Study of the Characterisation of Lennie Small in John Steinbeck’s
novella “Of Mice and Men”.
I enjoyed reading the novella “Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck. It was a sad
story when Candy’s dog got shot and at the end. George and Lennie wanted to buy
their own farm but never managed to there were a lot of poor people in America
at that time.
The novel Of Mice and Men is set in the great depression of the 1930s in
california It begins with the two main characters, George Milton and Lennie
Small, on their way to work at a ranch. George is small and clever, but
Lennie is large, strong and not very bright. He relies on George for a lot of
things. George and Lennie have a dream of owning a farm and they speak to
Candy who tells them hed be prepared to help them buy a farm if he could
live with them. The ranch owners son Curley hates Lennie and when he
attacks Lennie one night Lennie crushes his hand. Later on when Curley’s
wife who is lonely tries to make friends with Lennie, he frightens her by
stroking her hair. When she screams Lennie tries to quieten her, but
breaks her neck. Curley wants to shoot Lennie.
The writer develops the characterisation of Lennie.
Comment [d1]: You are expressing
your feelings about the story here.
This part of your introduction should
make clear how your essay responds
to the task - a comment on how John
Steinbeck develops the character
Lennie Small.
Comment [d2]: Requires capital
letter and full stop.
Capital Letters and Full Stops
Lennie broke in. ‘But not us! An’ why? Because.....because I got you to look after
me, and you got me to look after you, and that’s why.’ He laughed delightedly. ‘Go
on now, George!’
‘You got it by heart. You can do it yourself.’
‘No, you. I forgot some a’ the things. Tell about how it’s gonna be.’
‘O.K. Someday – we’re gonna get the jack together and we’re gonna have a little
house and a couple of acres an’ a cow and some pigs and – ‘
‘An’ live off the fatta the lan’,’ Lennie shouted. ‘An have rabbits....’
Lennie is excited that he and George look after each other and he shows this.
George is told to tell the story of their dream about land together. We can see
that Lennie loves this and he likes George. George’s mood is that Lennie has
asked him to tell the story many, many times. Lennie does not have a good
memory and we can see that because he does not finish his sentences so George
has to tell the story . He may be being sly, though, which he sometimes is, to get
George to tell the story. We can also see that Lennie gets easily excited when he
interrupts George by shouting.
Comment [d3]: You are using a
quotation without introducing it.
Provide a context to show
understanding and the relevance of
the quotation. Explain
who/what/where is involved at the
point in the text where the quotation
appears.
George speaks to Slim when they walk back from the fields after a hard days
work :
“ ‘Say, you sure was right about him. Maybe he ain’t bright, but I never seen such
a worker. He damn near killed his partner buckin’ barley. There ain’t nobody can
keep up with him. God almighty, I never seen such a strong guy.’
Comment [d4]: You have not made
reference to your line of argument
at/near the start of this paragraph.
A topic sentence should be used to
show relevance to the task. Refer to
an aspect of the development of the
character Lennie.
George spoke proudly. ‘Jus’ tell Lennie what to do an’ he’ll do it if it don’t take no
figurin’. He can’t think of nothing to do himself, but he sure can take orders’ “
They are talking about how hard Lennie works. Lennie works with another man
doing the barley bags. Slim says Lennie is the best worker on the ranch and is
really strong. George likes what Slim says about Lennie and tells Slim about how
good Lennie is about doing what he is told to.
After they come off all the men will have something to eat and then go back to
the bunkhouse. It is when they are in the bunkhouse that George and Lennie
Comment [d5]: You are re-telling
the story rather than analysing the
quotation. Break down your
evidence/quotation into points.
Identify the separate points from
the quotation and explain how they
relate to the task.
argue with Curley. John Steinbeck lets us know more about the character of
Lennie when he fights with Curley:
“ ‘Lennie looked helplessly at George, and then he got up and tried to retreat.
Curley was balanced and poised. He slashed at Lennie with his left, and then
smashed down his nose with a right. Lennie gave a cry of terror. Blood welled
from his nose. ‘George,’ he cried, ‘make’um let me alone, George.’ He backed until
he was against the wall, and Curley followed, slugging him in the face. Lennie’s
hands remained at his sides; he was too frightened to defend himself.”
Lennie looks helplessly at george and does not seem able to understand what is
happening or what to do about it. He cannot think. Steinbeck uses the word
“terror”. Lennie is backing away to the wall, and does not do anything. He is not
helped by George.
In the last chapter, the author continues to show the characterisation of
Lennie. Lennie has run from the ranch after killing Curley’s wife and is now alone
at the pool where the novella opened. He seems to imagine his Aunt Clara
speaking to him, and then a rabbit: Aunt Clara was gone, and from out of Lennie’s
head there came a gigantic rabbit. Lennie appears to be suffering from a mental
illness. The rabbit knows that Lennie would forget and gets on to him for it. It’s
Lennie’s conscience. We can see that he feels deep down that he has let George
down and we feel sorry for him. He did not mean to kill Curley’s wife just like he
did not mean to kill the mice that he liked to stroke.
I really liked Lennie as a character. I thought it was a real relationship
between George and Lennie. The ending was very sad. It might have been
different if all the characters had not been so lonely. I learned that the Great
Depression was a very difficult time.
You have structured your essay well and, for the most part, it shows knowledge of
the novella and is a relevant response to the task. You have some basic errors in
punctuation that need to be looked at and you should write formally throughout.
You could use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structure to improve the
grade of your essay. Your introduction and conclusion are two areas that need
looked at closely, too. The analysis is there but sometimes you re-tell the story
instead of analysing.
GRADE C
This essay has been marked by a GTC (Scotland) registered teacher of English.
Comment [d6]: You should embed
this quotation. Referencing the Text
Comment [d7]: You need to analyse
your evidence Analysing the Text
Comment [d8]: You have not
presented your quotation correctly. A
quotation of this length requires you
to follow layout rules. Introduce it
with a colon, miss a line, open with
inverted commas, type the quotation,
close with inverted commas and then
miss another line.
Comment [d9]: You have expressed
a personal view on the character. In
your conclusion it is important to
make reference to your line of
argument. Some mention of the
development of the character Lennie
should be made.
Please note: assessment criteria may vary in interpretation.
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