Proper Table Manners
Manners are important in society. They help us to be polite to one another.
From the beginning of time, the act of eating together has had a pleasant1 social
significance2. The word companion and company comes from the Latin "com-", meaning
"with" or "together" and the Latin "panis" meaning "bread" or "food".
A companion is someone you eat with!
Nowhere is a lack3 of training more quickly obvious4 than at the table.
Some diners have extremely poor table manners. They slurp their soup and belch5 their
blessings6.
Proper table manners help to communicate respect to hosts7 and guests8 alike.
Below are the 16 most common faux pas in social dining and how you can avoid9 them!
1. Which is my water, bread plate, napkin???
If you remember: liquids on the right, solids on the left, you’ll never eat someone else’s
bread again! That’s your coffee cup to the right of the plate, and your bread plate on the
left! Your napkin is always placed somewhere within your dining territorial borders10.
2. As soon as you are seated, unfold your napkin and place it on your lap11 (NOT into
your shirt). If you're a man, do not put your tie over your shoulder. The napkin remains on
your lap (except for use) until the end of the meal. (That's when the diners are leaving the
table, not just when you finish!) Use your napkin before drinking from a glass or cup. The
napkin is meant to be dabbed12 at the lips and should not be much dirtied in the process.
(A little tip; if you're at an extremely formal dinner and your napkin drops to the floor,
signal a staff13 member so that he can pick it up and bring a fresh one.)
If you need to leave the table temporarily14, you may leave the napkin in your chair as a
signal to the waiter that you will be returning. And the other diners are net forced to look at
your dirty napkin on the table!
Finally, when leaving the table after the meal, simply leave your napkin loose on the table
(at the left of your plate) without folding or twisting15 it. Even a paper napkin should never
be crushed16 and tossed17 into your plate.
1
nice enjoyable (angenehm)
meaning
3
das Fehlen, Mangel
4
offensichtlich
5
rülpsen
6
Segenswünsche
7
Gastgeber
8
Gast
9
keep/stay away from
10
limits (Grenze)
11
Schoß
12
(ab)tupfen
13
Personal
14
for some time
15
drehen, verdrehen
16
zerquetschen, zerdrücken
17
thrown
2
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3. The Place Setting: The first and only utensil was the dagger1, that same threatening2
symbol of violence3 that you carried with you for defense4! The prevention5 of violence was
one of the principal aims6 of table manners. So there are some serious restrictions7
regarding knives at the table. The knife is never pointed at anyone.
Richelieu was responsible for the rounding off of the points on table knife blades8 in 1669
France in order to prevent further dinnertime bloodshed9.
The traditional place setting has the forks on the left side
and knives (always turned inward facing the plate) and
spoons on the right side. The cutlery10 is placed in order of
use so that you can follow the rule “begin at the outside
and work in” towards the plate! *
Formal Dinner Place Setting
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Napkin
Fish Fork
Main Course Fork
Salad Fork*
Soup Bowl and Plate
6. Dinner Plate
7. Dinner Knife
8. Fish Knife
9. Soup Spoon
10. Bread and Butter Plate
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Butter Knife
Desert silverware
Water Glass
Red Wine Glass
White Wine Glass
*You'll note that this table setting is European style since the salad is served after the main course.
In America the salad fork would be between #2 and 3 above.
(The butter knife (#11), used only for spreading butter, should be already on your bread plate.)
Dessert spoons/forks (#12) are usually brought in with the dessert, but often the dessert silver is
placed above the dinner plate. The origin of the term dessert is from the French “desservie” meaning
to de-serve or clear the table.
4. When to Start – in groups of six or less people, begin eating only after everyone is
served. For larger groups, such as banquets, it is usual to start eating after four or five
people have been served, or permission11 is given from those not yet served.
5. Bread and rolls are broken off into bite-size pieces and butter is put on each bite as
you eat it. Never use a knife to cut the bread, nor butter a whole slice at once!
Butter should be taken when passed, and placed onto your bread plate, never directly onto
your bread.
6. Proper posture12 at the table is very important. Make sure to sit up straight, with your
arms held near your body. Never put your elbows on the table ("Keep your elbows off the
table!"). It is permissible to lean forward slightly every now and then. When eating, do not
bring your face toward the plate (a la a pig's trough13), but bring the utensil up to you.
You're the master!
1
sharp knife (Dolch)
to threaten = (be)drohen
3
Gewalt, Gewalttätigkeit
4
Verteidigung
5
to prevent = vorbeugen, verhinden, abhalten
6
Ziel, Zweck
7
limitations (Beschränkungen)
8
Klinge
9
Blutvergießen
10
silverware (Besteck)
11
to permit = to allow
12
Haltung
13
Schweinetrog
2
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7. How to eat soup: Lower your spoon into your soup gently1 so that it doesn't bang the
bottom of the plate. Always move the soup spoon away from your body and fill it up twothirds of its capacity. Bring it up to your mouth and sip2 the liquid sideways without
inserting the whole bowl of the spoon in the mouth. Slurping is probably the worst thing
someone can do when eating soup. You may tilt3 the bowl, away from the body, to get the
last spoonful or two (not more!) of soup.
8. Using knife and fork
There are two styles of eating, Continental and North American.
The North American style
Normally, a utensil should be used with the same hand that you use to write. If you are
right-handed, place the fork in your right hand. You should be able to eat and cut your food
with the fork only. It might be very difficult to cut some types of foods, such as a big steak,
so use your judgement when it comes to using a knife. If food, such as meats, requires4 the
use of both a knife and fork to get a bite of a manageable size, simply take the fork in your
left hand and turn the tines5 so that they point downwards. This will allow you to better
hold the meat in place while the right hand operates the knife.
Once a bite-sized piece has been cut, set the knife down on the plate and transfer the fork
to the right hand (zigzag practice). Pick up the freshly cut piece of meat and carry it to your
mouth. Remember this method is strict; you cannot even use the knife to mount foods such
as peas, and the fork must pick up everything on its own. As you can see, this style is
slightly difficult to master.
The left hand is usually kept off the table and in your lap during American style dining
(except when it's being used to hold the fork during the cutting of food).
The European/Continental style:
is simply more efficient6. The fork remains in the left hand and the knife in the right (for
right handed folks). When food is cut, the fork is used exactly as in the American Style,
except that once a portion has been separated from the whole, it is taken directly to the
mouth on the down-facing fork. Food is pushed onto the fork with your knife.
With the European technique, it is also permitted to use a little piece of bread to help a
stubborn7 item8 onto the fork. Never cut more than one bite at a time!
While you chew9 both knife and fork rest on the plate and the hands next to the plate.
9. No Oars10! Once silverware is picked up from the table it NEVER touches the table again
(You wouldn't want to dirty the tablecloth, or get other material on the utensil).
Never rest cutlery half on the table and half on the plate.
Make sure your fork and knife are well balanced on the plate when pausing for a
drink. Place the fork on the left and the knife on the right, so that they crossover
the center of the plate. This silverware placement is a signal to the waiter not to remove
your plate!
1
softly, quietly
swallow
3
kippen
4
needs (beanspruchen, benötigen)
5
Zinken
6
competent
7
störrisch, eigensinnig, widerspenstig
8
piece, thing
9
kauen
10
Ruder
2
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Be prepared not to leave any utensils in a non-flat dish when the busboy1 comes around to
clear the table. The soup bowl, the shrimp cocktail, or the teacups are all presented with a
plate underneath; therefore use them to place the used cutlery.
The finish – when you are finished with each course2 pair up the knife (the cutting edge of
the blade should be pointing towards you) and the fork diagonally from upper
left to lower right (11 to 5 if you imagine your plate as a clock face3) in the
plate. As for the fork, it can be placed upwards or downwards.
This is a signal to the waiter that you are finished. And don't push your plate
away or rearrange your dishes from their position when you are finished.
10. Keep your mouth closed while you are chewing. Never talk to another person while
you still have some food in your mouth. Probably he or she is not interested in what is
happening in it. ("Don't talk with your mouth full!")
11. Be quiet. Making noise while eating is considered really rude4. Avoid doing it. Guests
should not draw attention to themselves by making unnecessary noise either with their
mouth or with their silverware.
12: Take your time! This is not the Indy 5005, and the food is not going to walk away. So
take your time! Don't fill your mouth with too much food.
13. Beverages6: Wait to sip beverages until your mouth is empty and has been wiped with
a napkin. Do not gulp7 beverages.
14. Dishes are passed from left to right. When a waiter serves you, food will be presented
on your left, and the dish will be removed from your right side when you’ve finished.
15. Reaching: Guests may reach for food that is close to them, as long as they do not have
to stretch for it and do not reach across another guest. If the food is across the table, ask
politely for it to be passed.
Salt and pepper are always passed together, even if someone asks you only for the salt.
They are considered “married” in proper dining circles. Simply pick up both the salt and the
pepper and place them within reach of the person next to you, who will do the same until
they reach the person who asked for it. Salt and pepper should not be passed hand-tohand.
16. Hold a stemmed glass by the stem8! This is to prevent chilled9 drinks, such as white
wine from becoming warmed by your hand, but it holds for non-chilled drinks as well.
1
Hilfskraft im Restaurant
Gang
3
Zifferblatt
4
impolite, bad-mannered
5
famous car race at Indianapolis
6
things to drink
7
drink very quicklyand greedily
8
stalk, stem, trunk (Stiel, Stängel, Stamm)
9
cold
2
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17. Finger Food: Some foods may be eaten with fingers.
•
Artichokes- eat the leaves until you see the heart, then use a fork and knife to cut it
•
Asparagus1- they may be eaten with your fingers as long as they are not covered with
sauce
•
Bacon (but only if it is crisp)
•
Bread- must always be broken and never cut with a knife
•
Caviar
•
Cookies
•
Corn-on-the-cob2
•
Hamburgers and hot dogs
•
Hors d'oeuvres and canapés
•
Potato chips, French fries and fried chicken
•
Sandwiches
•
Small fruits and berries on the stem
There is a lot to be learned in order to become an expert on formal etiquette, but these basic
tips are enough to offer you ease3 and comfort when attending a formal dinner.
A little suggestion would be to practice these formal etiquette tips when dining at home.
With practice, table manners will become a routine and will be a reflection on your social
presence4.
Mom-isms
Just think of this as the potpourri of things you've heard all your life about table manners.
Most of them were 100% correct:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
don't grab food
don't talk with your mouth full
chew with your mouth closed and no noise
excuse yourself if you get up to go somewhere (e.g., bathroom, to make a call)
Keep your elbows off the table
don't pick something out of your teeth (just excuse yourself to the bathroom)
don't leave lipstick smears on anything
don't put crap5 on the table (meaning a purse, papers, keys…)
sit still and upright
take your time
Now check if you have understood the lesson:
http://a4esl.org/q/f/z/zz25tsk.htm (quiz on table manners)
Sources:
http://www.cuisinenet.com/glossary/tableman.html
http://www.holidaycook.com/table-manners/
http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/success6.html
1
Spargel
Maiskolben
3
no difficulty
4
existence, charisma
5
Mist, Schrott
2
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http://www.soyouwanna.com/site/syws/tablemanners/tablemanners.html
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