U
N
B
ELIEVABLE
C
YBORGS
All-time best excuse for missing a paper deadline:
"I couldn't turn in my paper because I was in jail last night."
Best non sequitur response on course evaluation:
Q on the course evaluation template: "Are there any other comments you would like to
offer?"
A: "I like ice cream on my waffles."
Funny (but not entirely inaccurate) comment on a course evaluation:
"Talks too much."
Best virtual-reality lie (received by email sixty seconds after walking past student in computer lab):
"I had an emergency and I couldn't get to the department today."
Most frequently-received email topic:
"I missed class today.
Did I miss anything important?"
Second-most-frequently-received email topic:
"I can't make the paper deadline.
Can I have an extension?"
Best argument for banning devices from the classroom:
email received: "I can't make your office hours, but can I get some advice
on my paper topic?"
reply sent within 60 seconds: "Sure, let's chat. Call me now at 604 682 1750."
reply-to-the-reply: "I can't call now. I'm texting from class."