Seattle University
WRITING CENTER
established 1987
(206) 296-6239
www.seattleu.edu/writingcenter
Lemieux Library, second floor
Strategic Sentence Revision
Focused subjects and dynamic verbs create clear and vital sentences. This handout
offers strategies to help you revise subject and verbs to clearly focus and
enliven your sentences.
1. IDENTIFY SUBJECT–VERB COMBINATIONS:
1. Underline each verb twice.
o
Verbs enliven sentences; they describe action or state-of-being.
ex. 1: My academic success was achieved by all my diligent studying.
ex. 2: I believe diligence is more important than native intelligence.
2. Underline each subject once.
o
Subjects name who or what the verb is or does. To locate subjects,
move backwards from identified verbs, asking “Who?” or “What?”
plus the verb (e.g., “What was achieved?” or “Who believes?”).
ex. 1: My academic success was achieved by all my diligent studying.
ex. 2: I believe diligence is more important than native intelligence.
2. REVISE SUBJECTS TO CLARIFY FOCUS:

Subject-verb-completer is the basic sentence pattern in English.*
Effective writers revise their sentences.
subject
verb
completer

Subjects define the purpose of the sentence—its focus.
o
o
Ask yourself, “Is the subject my intended focus?”
If your intended focus is located in the completer slot, promote it
to the subject slot.
ex. 1: My academic success was achieved by all my diligent studying.
subject
intended focus
Diligent study promoted my academic success.
subject
o
If a subject doesn’t advance your intended focus, consider deleting it.
ex. 2: I believe diligence is more important than native intelligence.
intended subject
Diligence is more important than native intelligence.
3. REVISE VERBS TO PROMOTE VITALITY:
*See the QuickTips worksheet, “Phrases and Clauses,” for more information about sentence structure.
Promoting Verb Vitality
“The verb acts as the power center of most sentences. If a writer’s verbs are
active, fresh, and definite, her sentences will have snap; they’ll impress us with her
spirit and conviction. But if her verbs lack oomph, or if she backs into her ideas with a
lot of passives, her sentences will sag; they will convince us of her dullness and
indifference. Because every sentence normally has at least one verb, the aggregate effect
of a writer’s verbs is huge” (Trimble).
Trimble, John. Writing with Style: Conversations on the Art of Writing. 2010.
1. STATE-OF-BEING VERBS:

State-of-being verbs only indicate existence.
o
e.g., to be (am, is, are, was, were, etc.)
The cat is on the carpet.
2. SIMPLE ACTION VERBS:

Simple action verbs add an action to the subject’s existence.
o
e.g., to eat, to laugh, to smile
The cat lies on the carpet.
3. COMPLEX (DYNAMIC) VERBS:

Complex (dynamic) verbs convey existence, action, and description.
o e.g., to devour (not eat), to snicker (not laugh), to beam (not smile)
The cat clings to the carpet.
†For more tips like these, check out the resources online: www.seattleu.edu/writingcenter/resources.
© Seattle University Writing Center | August 2011