What Does it Look Like? Why is it Important?
Recognizing Details Generated by these Questions
Objective
LESSON AT A GLANCE:
Students recognize the details generated by What does it look like? Why is it
important?
Whole Class Activity
• MODEL writing a sentence
using the detail generating
questions.
• Color code the details
generated by the
questions.
Procedure
1. Compile a collection of school supplies, for example: a pencil, an eraser, a
pencil box, a notebook.
2. On your white board, write the following:
JUST THE FACTS WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
Hold up a pencil and say: “I have a pencil.” Explain to students that this is a Just the Facts sentence and
write it in the Just the Facts column.
Move onto the What does it look like? column and say: “I have a yellow number 2 pencil with a new pink
eraser.” Write this sentence in the middle column and underline the words generated by the question What
does it look like? (yellow, number 2, new, pink).
Finally, move onto the Why is it important? column and say: “I have a yellow number 2 pencil with a new
pink eraser that I use to complete my school work.” Write that sentence in the third column and circle the
phrase that answers the question Why is it important? (use to complete my school work.)
3. Hold up another item from your collection of school supplies and elicit responses to the detail generating
questions from students. MODEL writing the three sentences using their suggestions. Write the following
sentence starters on your white board and have students to refer to them if they need to:
I have a__________________________________ .
This is a __________________________________ .
Look at my ________________________________ .
It _______________________________________ .
Notice that _______________________________ .
It’s unique because _________________________ .
I will use it to ______________________________ .
This helps me _____________________________ .
It’s important because ______________________ .
(Note: The first three sentence starters help the writer to simply state the facts. The next three help the
reader to see the object. The last three clarify why these details are critical.)
4. Copy and distribute student page What Does it Look Like? Why is it Important?, p. 200. Read the sentences
aloud and match sentences to pictures. Underline the details generated by What Does it Look Like? in blue.
Circle the answer to Why is it Important? in red.
©2014 Empowering Writers, LLC
199
Student Page
Name: WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE? WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?
Read the sentences below. Imagine that an author will be including these details in an expository
piece about clothing for children. See if you can match the picture to the sentence describing each item
by writing the number in the blank. Then, reread each sentence and underline the words that tell us what
it looks like in red. Finally, circle the words that tell us why it is important in green.
1
______________
2
3
4
A thick, wool coat with snug buttons and a high collar
will keep you warm and cozy on cold winter days.
Buttoned at the sides, with shoulder straps and a bib,
______________
blue denim overalls have many pockets where you
can keep tools and gardening supplies.
______________
______________
200
Made of heavy-duty canvas with bouncy rubber soles,
sneakers make you feel like running and jumping.
Soft, fleecy hoodies come in a rainbow of colors that
both boys and girls like.
©2014 Empowering Writers, LLC
The Golden Bricks - Powerful Supporting Detail
Objective
Students will be able to generate quotes, statistics, amazing facts,
descriptive segments, and anecdotes.
Procedure
1. Review the various types of powerful details (Golden Bricks).
2. Distribute one of the activity sheets and read it through together.
3. MODEL one of them for the class, using one of the sentence starters
provided.
LESSON AT A GLANCE:
Whole Class and
Independent Activity
• Review “Golden Bricks”.
• MODEL revision, adding a
“Golden Brick”.
• Students try it during
GUIDED PRACTICE.
uring GUIDE PRACTICE, have children try one independently.
4. D
Circulate, offering encouragement, constructive criticism, etc. Share
and compare successful responses.
5. Encourage students to try the “BONUS” activity. Also, you may have them apply this to a piece of process
writing they may be working on, or as an opportunity to add some “golden bricks” to a previous piece of
writing.
MODELED SAMPLES
1. M
ICROWAVE
Anecdote: For example, my mother talks about the days before the microwave - how it took about an hour
to make a single baked potato in the regular oven.
Descriptive Segment: Your stomach is growling as you place your slice of pizza on a small plate and pop
it in the microwave. Your fingers key in the cooking time, the chamber lights up and the carousel begins to
turn. The gentle humming sound soothes you as the spicy aroma fills the room. In just a minute or two,
this amazing invention beeps, signaling that your delicious lunch is ready. All this in the blink of an eye!
2. BASEBALL GAME
Descriptive Segment: People of all ages crowd in. It is a sea of tee-shirts, caps, sweatshirts, and jackets
emblazoned with the team logo and colors. Once inside the stadium, the bright green field stretches out
before you. Vendors call out in loud, raucous voices: “Peanuts! Get your peanuts!” “Hot dogs! Hot dogs
here!”
Quote: My mom, who was never much of a sports fan, attended a game recently and was pleasantly
surprised. “I cannot remember the last time I had so much fun,” she reported.
©2015 Empowering Writers, LLC
(continued)
361
The Golden Bricks - Powerful Supporting Detail
3. SHARING A ROOM
tatistic: Considering my circle of friends, statistics show that of 10 fifth graders polled, four shared a
S
room with a brother or sister. Of the four, three reported that it was not an easy situation.
Anecdote: That reminds me of my friend, Jessica, who is neat and organized. She shares a room with her
younger sister, Abbie, who throws her clothes on the floor and never makes her bed. This drives Jessica
crazy!
4. WINTER LANDSCAPE
Anecdote: Every winter, I bundle up and take a walk through the snowy landscape. I am always amazed
at the sparkling beauty of the snow and ice against the bright blue sky.
Descriptive Segment: The bright white snow seems to blanket the entire world. Icicles hang, sparkling
from the rooftops. Even the black pavement glistens in the sunlight, covered with a slick, thin coating
of ice.
5. BUTTERFLIES
Anecdote: !It’s hard to believe, but the graceful, beautiful butterfly begins life as a tiny egg, which grows
into a homely brown sack called a pupa. Inside this sack, the butterfly begins to take shape.
Q
uote: My brother Jack’s class studied the life cycles of butterflies. “A dark little bag hung from the top of
the observation tank,” Jack reported. “It grew, and eventually a small, wet-looking butterfly emerged.”
6. VEGETABLES
A
necdote: Out in my garden we grow fresh tomatoes that you can eat right off the vine! Absolutely
delicious!
Quote: My Aunt Linda, a longtime gardener, explains,” It’s not only the taste of fresh vegetables - it’s the
satisfaction of working with the soil.”
362
©2015 Empowering Writers, LLC
Student Page
Name: SPECIFIC SUPPORTING DETAILS - YOUR “GOLDEN BRICKS” (3)
Read this broad main idea sentence. It needs some powerful supporting details to convince your readers.
Sharing a room with a sibling can be difficult.
Convince your reader with a statistic*: _______________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
(Ask your classmates how many share a room. Use this as the basis for your statistic.)
Convince your reader with an anecdote**:_____________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
* Sentence Starters for a Statistic:
** Sentence Starters for an Anecdote:
Of ________ kids polled ________.
You may find this hard to believe, but ____.
The majority of kids polled report that_____.
I’ll never forget the time when _______.
____% of kids say that if given a choice____.
That reminds me of ________.
Statistics show that ________.
For example, ________.
BONUS: On a separate piece of paper, write an entire paragraph that supports the
main idea sentence. Include a number of basic details that include “What does it
look like? Why is it important?” along with your two “golden bricks”. Be sure to use
good sentence variety and specific, vivid words.
©2015 Empowering Writers, LLC
365
Teaching Background –
The Narrative W riting Diamond
After students begin to feel comfortable with the summarizing frameworks we
encourage them to use these as the prewriting graphic organizer in planning their
narrative stories. This provides a simple, basic story plan on which to build. (See
Diamond - pp. 45-46)
However, the summarizing frameworks do little to help students elaborate on
their basic story plan. The resulting story often closely resembles the summary.
Therefore, another tool is needed to guide beginners through the development and
the elaboration of a successful, entertaining narrative story. The writing diamond is
the tool that, when paired with the summarizing frameworks, can guide
students through the process of fully elaborating their writing. The diamond is,
essentially, a reminder of the shape and proportion that a successful story
takes, as well as a reminder of the key skill elements needed for an
entertaining piece of writing.
How to Use the Narrative Writing Diamond:
As early as second grade we present the diamond to the students and point out the
various sections in relation to one another. We point out that the beginning and ending
sections are relatively small, that the MAIN EVENT is the largest part of the story.
As we teach the corresponding skills throughout the year, we refer to the
diamond. (For younger students, see The Empowering Writers Publication - Getting
Ready to Write for K and 1. This includes a SIMPLIFIED WRITING DIAMOND for
use with younger students.)
We do not have students write on the diamond - instead we encourage them to
use the diamond as a tool for reminding them when and how to apply the skills
we’ve taught (beginnings, elaborative detail, suspense, main event, and endings). For
more information on the various sections of the writing diamond, turn to The
Writing Diamond Defined p. 46
We suggest that each student have a copy of the Writing Diamond in their
writing folders and that a copy is posted in the classroom at all times. (You might
consider purchasing the Empowering Writers Basic Narrative Posters which include
the Narrative Writing Diamond as well as posters highlighting many of the key
narrative skill area reminders.)
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
43
Teaching Background –
(cont.)
The Narrative W riting Diamond
Once you have introduced the diamond, use the annotated copies of the preceding
stories for examples of each section of the diamond. This provides a context for the
rest of the narrative skills as they are taught throughout the school year. Refer to the
diamond as you move through the instruction, pointing out the various sections as
they are discussed.
Remember, the diamond is not a rigid rule or formulaic pattern - rather, it is a
basic guide to help students channel their creativity into what others recognize as
story. In time, the diamond will disappear into the writing, providing shape and
structure for their creative ideas.
44
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
Student Reference Page
Name____________________________________________
Narrative Writing
Diamond
ENTERTAINING
BEGINNING
ELABORATIVE DETAIL Story Critical Character, Setting, Object
SUSPENSE
or anticipation leading to the main event
THE MAIN EVENT
Show action in slow motion, frame by frame,
stretch it out! Include description and main
character’s thoughts and feelings!
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
Action leading to SOLUTION
of problem or
CONCLUSION of adventure.
EXTENDED ENDING:
Memory, Decision,
Feeling,
Wish
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
45
Teaching Background –
(cont.)
The Narrative W riting Diamond
The Writing Diamond Defined
• Entertaining Beginning - The beginning must “hook” the reader and make
them feel compelled to read on. The author might use an interesting action,
dialogue or exclamation, the main character’s thoughts, or feelings, raise story
questions or even use a sound to grab the reader’s attention. Stories should begin
as close to the main event as possible.
• Description of Setting, Character or Object - A descriptive segment (3-4
sentences long) which describes a story critical setting, character, or object will
help draw the reader in and help the reader experience the fictional world through
the five senses of the main character. If the setting is mundane or boring (an
average kitchen, the school yard, etc.) the author may choose to describe an
important character or object instead.
• Build Suspense - Here the author moves toward the main event by building
suspense or a sense of anticipation. This might involve raising worry, wonder,
concern, or doubt, all of which build tension. This can be done through the use of
“story questions”,“word referents”, or “the magic of three”.
• The MAIN EVENT - This is the most important part of the story - the climax,
the event that the entire story has led up to - essentially, what the whole story is
about. The main event section involves the problem/struggle sequence, or the
adventure or interesting peak experience. This “scene” should be told in almost
slow motion, expanded upon and stretched out through a balance of action, thought,
description, and dialogue. This is the largest, most significant part of the story.
• The Solution/Conclusion - This is the section that brings the main event to a
close. The problem is solved or the adventure or experience comes to an end.
• Extended Ending - The ending summarizes the main character’s thoughts,
feelings, memories, hopes, wishes, or decisions in regard to the main event. It
might also include a defining action that SHOWS any of the above. The extended
ending should not be abrupt, rather it should have a feeling of satisfied closure.
(See each specific skill area in this book for further definition of each skill or section.)
46
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
Student Page
Name____________________________________________
The Treasure Hunt
The warm sparkling water lapped about my ankles as I made my way along the
tropical island beach. I was out for an afternoon of exploring, eager to discover whatever secrets the island might hold.
I glanced around. Palm trees swayed in the breeze. Huge colorful flowers bloomed
amidst thick, lush greenery. The sun glinted off of the jewel blue waves. I followed a
narrow path that led away from the beach a bit. Suddenly I came to a clearing of
sorts, a peculiar circular area in which the vegetation had been hacked away. A pile of
cut branches lay on the top as if to cover or camouflage something. How, strange, I
thought. Who would have gone to all this trouble to cut away this patch of
underbrush and then cover it up again? I scratched my head and looked more closely.
I pushed aside the branches and noticed that the ground beneath looked as though it
had been disturbed, as though someone had dug a hole. My heart began to beat faster.
Had something been buried here, I wondered.
I looked this way and that, and confident that no one else was around I began to
dig, The earth flew beneath my fingers and in no time at all I had made a fairly deep
hole. If I had a shovel the job would be much easier. That was when I noticed the
cracked coconut shell on the ground. “Perfect!” I yelled as I grabbed for it. Its tough
curved surface made a handy scoop and my task began to move along more quickly.
Before long my makeshift shovel hit something solid. I blinked the sweat out of
my eyes, wiped my forehead with the back of my arm, and reached into the hole. I
cleared away the last layer of dirt and gasped!
It was the size of a large suitcase and made of smooth wood. I ran my hand along
it and felt several cool brass fittings that spanned its curved top. A metal latch held it
closed. It was a treasure chest!
My heart raced and my stomach did a little flip. My hands shook as I pried
open the latch and lifted the lid. I closed my eyes for a moment and then peered into
the chest.
(continued, next page)
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC
33
Student Page
(cont.)
Name____________________________________________
My heart fell! It was empty! Apparently some other treasure hunter had beat me to
it! Sadly, I dragged the chest out of the hole. I stared into it imagining the gold and
jewels that probably once filled it to the brim.
That was when something caught my eye. Something small and shiny, something
wedged in the far, dark corner of the chest. I reached in, grasping with eager fingers.
It was a small gold charm! As I picked it up I realized that it was attached to a fine
golden chain. I blew the dust off of it and held it up to the sun. It was an odd shape,
and I turned it this way and that. Then it struck me! The charm was crafted into the
shape of the very island on which I stood. I’d studied the map enough to recognize it!
But there was something else--a tiny ruby chip set into the gold, way off to one side.
How unusual and beautiful, I thought as I placed the chest back in the ground and
carefully covered it back up.
As I hung the necklace around my neck I realized that this leftover, forgotten token
would always serve as a reminder of my adventure--but not just a reminder! I was
certain that the ruby chip marked the spot where the treasure had been buried. I
decided to return again, next year perhaps, and see if there might be another forgotten
treasure awaiting me!
This story is about _______________________________________________________.
Character
The problem, adventure, or experience was that _____________________________
________________________________________________________________________.
Main Event
The problem was solved/adventure, experience concluded when _______________
________________________________________________________________________.
34
©2004 Empowering Writers, LLC