BREASTFEEDING: by a most
wonderful mum from our Malaysian
(Chinese) community.
Hee Gok and Adith Stoneman, Kelston LLL.
Hee Gok and her husband Eu attended my
antenatal class where they received
breastfeeding information and found out
about Kelston La Leche League. After the birth
of her baby, Hee came to a Kelston LLL
meeting with some questions, and came again
several months later with some more. I had
noticed that she remained a member of
Kelston LLL but knew very little else about her.
When Hee’s baby was nearly three, I received
a lovely email from Hee telling me that she was
still breastfeeding, and we got talking via
email. I found out that her darling husband
10 | La Leche League NZ
had taken out a four year membership to LLL
from the start! Hee shared with me her story
and how she had some real ups and downs.
How she received correct information and
positive encouragement about breastfeeding
her baby, but like so many of us, received
incorrect information and negative comments
as well. It is then that she sought support from
her very supportive husband, LLL meetings, the
LLL website, from Dr Jack Newman (she is a big
fan) and somehow she would muddle through.
Hee is from Malaysia and I thought how nice
it would be to hear from an Asian perspective.
We discussed the following questions via email
and then over lunch at my house.
I am so very proud of Hee and her husband
Eu for following their hearts. We need more
fathers like Eu who ensure that their wives
have access to good support and correct
information. I’d like to congratulate them both
for being breastfeeding parents. - Adith
What did your culture tell you about
Breastfeeding?
I guess a small proportion of people think that
bottle/formula is the norm and formula
Aroha | May - June | Volume 15 | Issue 3
INSPIRATION
nowadays is more nutritious than years ago
due to advances made in food technology.
People used to think once baby starts solids,
that the mother would not produce enough
milk, and the milk would not be nutritious
Some days I would have redness and
tenderness in the breast and would cry as I
was feeding him. I would think of giving it up,
but I’d feed him again and again and again,
until today.
enough - as compared to formula. But we
know that’s wrong information.
Why did you breastfeed your baby?
I chose to breastfeed my baby because of the
health benefits it provides for my baby and
myself. In his first and second year he only had
colds, and aside from that he is all okay. This
year his breastfeeding has reduced, and we do
notice he gets a cold more often.
Another reason why I choose to breastfeed
is the bonding and the convenience. He’ll
decide for himself how much to drink, I don’t
have to decide how much to make up for him.
How did that make you feel when he was
little, and how about now?
I remember the first two days, when my milk
hadn’t arrived, it was a bit worrying because it
seemed like this tiny little fella had nothing to
drink, just tiny drops of colostrum (and of
course we know it is not till day three or four
that our milk matures and the quantity of milk
goes up). The hospital midwife and my own
midwife were very helpful and patient, they
showed me all the techniques, from hand
expressing to proper latching. Without their
What do you think it means to your baby
that he is a breastfed baby?
I think it means love and food and happiness.
What is nice about breastfeeding?
No need to wash bottles, no need to think
how much to feed. I can take a wee nap when
he is drinking. If he is sick or hurt,
breastfeeding comforts him a lot. It is such a
great mothering tool.
How has your husband bonded with the
baby, considering he cannot feed the baby
(many people believe that dad needs to
feed the baby to bond)
After work, he spent time with baby, and I’d
have a bit of my own time. Until baby’s
bedtime he is very happy to play and be with
daddy, but then only mum will do.
We don’t think you need to feed to bond.
Spend time with him, play with him, laugh
with him, that’s bonding as well. We did try
giving him a bottle with expressed breast milk,
my husband tried to feed it to him, but he
didn’t want it. Everyone got stressed, so we
didn’t do it anymore.
help during that early stage, I am sure I
wouldn’t be breastfeeding today.
I would say that after about a year and a
half, things got a bit easier for me; I had issues
with cracked nipples, mastitis, vasospasm and
blocked milk ducts. I still get red patches
around my chest pretty often, I massage it
while my baby is drinking. If I run out of hands
I even get my husband to help. Sometimes I
massage it so often, it hurts. My midwife has
said to me “you abuse yourself “and I’ll say
“yahh” Then we all laugh.
What worries have you had along the way
whilst breastfeeding and how did you
overcome them?
After six months he started solids, his weight
gain slowed a lot and I did wonder if my milk
was still good enough. He didn’t walk on his
own until he was 23 months old, and doesn’t
talk a lot, and I did wonder if it was my milk.
From The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, LLL
and Dr Jack Newman’s website, I know now
there is no such thing as ‘not good enough’
breastmilk.
Who was it that supported you to
breastfeed especially when things went
wrong or because you breastfed for longer
than people thought you should?
When things went wrong I did not want to
give up, though I did think about it many
times. My midwife and LLL helped me a lot. I
How has it made you feel when you
helped other mothers to breastfeed
their babies?
I feel very happy that another baby is being
breastfed. I hope hearing about my experience
has helped to reduce the mum’s problem.
remember reading in Aroha something like
“those who had problems during
breastfeeding, are those who will have success
at breastfeeding in the end”, which is true in
my case.
Issue 3 | Volume 15 | May - June | Aroha
Do you think that Asian (especially
Chinese) women believe that they cannot
breastfeed and if so, why do you think
they believe this?
I think there are two main reasons why they
cannot.
Some tried, but gave up very quickly. Most
don’t have the knowledge and support, and
therefore they think it isn’t possible. I have
heard a lot of people say “I don’t have enough
milk so I must give him/her some formula.” For
generations, a lot of babies have been fed
formula. Some people ask for information and
help from a parent or from friends who never
breastfed themselves. Therefore some do get
the wrong advice.
Another reason is that they are told by
others: ‘you should not breastfeed because
breastmilk is not as good as formula,
breastfeeding will put too much stress on your
body, saggy boobs, etc.’ Therefore they choose
formula.
Groups like LLL are a big help to the
community, we need to get our voices heard,
share our information and experience so more
and more people will have the knowledge of
breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding is not always easy but with
a bit of help we all can do it.
Hee’s red patches could indicate extra
blood flow to areas that may have been
engorged or where she had blocked ducts.
This may be described as inflammation.
Firm (but not painful) massage using the
heel of your palm or knuckles over lumps
and bumps (I call it a WOF – a Warrant of
Fitness check) will help drain any lumps.
However, if you use sliding movements you
could cause a friction burn and that would
also be red and sore.
Debbie Graham, Administrator of
Professional Liaison
Close to the Heart is La Leche League
Asia’s newsletter for Mothers. Contact
your local leader or LLLNZ for more
information.
If you are a mother with limited English
or would prefer breastfeeding information
in Chinese, check out the Mainland
Chinese website www.muruhui.org.
To see the English titles next to the
Chinese, see www.muruhui.org/mrxx.
asp and Frequently Asked Questions can
be found at www.muruhui.org/faq.asp.
Mother’s stories are at www.muruhui.
org/story.asp.
La Leche League NZ | 11