sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 1 Keeping Children Safe time Take ng si choo re ca child en dr l hi are ial ec sp K chi eep ld saf ren e C st Tru r you en ldr chi an Ic y sa ! NO No u to ching private parts Tal k you to chi r ldr en Lis ten ch your to ild re n NO s! Secret Published By Action for Children I am l p s ecia building better beginnings 78 Jefferson Avenue • Columbus, OH 43215 614-224-0222 •"www.actionforchildren.org Major Funding Provided By Columbus Medical Association Foundation Columbus, Ohio A Guide for Parents to Prevent Sexual Abuse sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 3 Keeping Children Safe Contents A Guide for Parents to Prevent Sexual Abuse Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1 12 Keys To Keeping Children Safe: An Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3-4 Published by Action for Children 78 Jefferson Avenue Columbus, Ohio 43215 What Is Normal Sexual Development? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5-14 Major funding provided by What Parents Need To Know About Sexual Abuse . . . . . . . . . . . . .14-16 Columbus Medical Association Foundation Columbus, Ohio Additional funding provided by Protecting Children From Sexual Abuse: What Parents Can Tell Children To Keep Them Safe . . . . . .17-19 What Parents Need To Know About Child Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20-28 Parent Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . .29-31 First edition November 1984 Second edition July 1985 Third edition December 1997 © Copyright 1998, Action for Children ep Ke ldren i Ch Safe sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 5 bubble around our children. Instead, as loving, caring parents, we can use the power of information as a way to protect our children. Introduction Times have changed a lot over the past 12 years, since the initial printing of this booklet. The world for children is very different today. Children are experimenting with drugs, alcohol and sex at an earlier age. The internet has put vulnerable children online. Despite TV and movie ratings, children can still gain access to sexually explicit programming. And today’s children may be witnessing more crime and violence near their homes and schools than on television. The parenting challenges seem greater than ever. The health, safety, good care and education of our children is not simply assured or easily guaranteed. Society’s problems, like sexual abuse, are not confined to a particular community, racial or economic group. Perpetrators may live in our neighborhoods, and even may be people we know and trust. This booklet is designed to put a lot of information at a parent’s fingertips. The contents include the “ages and stages” of sexual development, ways to talk with children about sexual abuse, and the physical and behavioral warning signs. The booklet also provides an in-depth guide to choosing child care with tips for helping to assure that your child d is in a safe, healthy and an nt d on e r nurturing child-care setting. Pa Chil icati un mm o C Our ability to communicate with our children - to talk and listen - is key to helping them feel your protection and your love. Communication with their caregivers and teachers is important in establishing a strong partnership in the safety and wellbeing of your child. Throughout this booklet you will see two symbols which will help you: the key, to reinforce communication and give “key information”; and the other, a warning sign to help you identify potential problem areas which may require the attention of a physician, mental health agency or a childprotective agency. Key Warning The victims of sexual abuse can be our own young children. That’s pretty frightening information for parents. Sometimes we wish that parenting could be as simple as placing an invisible, protective 1 2 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 7 e sexual abuse book3 Keep Child Our ren S af • Let your child know that he/she can talk to you about anything. Your child does not have to keep any frightening secret, even if it is about a person whom she/he knows and loves. (Sexual abusers are usually not strangers, but people who children may trust and love.) 12 Keys To Keeping Your Child Safe • Give your children safe, secure and nurturing experiences from birth to help them grow and develop to their fullest potential. • Young children have a natural curiosity about their bodies. It is important to learn what is normal sexual development and what may be the sign of a problem. • Listen to your children. Young children need a parent’s time and attention. Older children do too. • Prepare your child, don’t scare your child. Teach appropriate health and safety rules as prevention. • Role play or rehearse what to do if your child faces a scary or uncomfortable situation. • Teach your children the names of their private parts; and talk with them about their right to privacy. • Help your child learn to say “no” to unwanted or uncomfortable touches; “no” to going with strangers; and “no” to keeping secrets. 3 • Let your child know that you trust and believe him/her. (Sexual abuse is never a child’s fault.) • Children are born ready to learn. Be a good role model and teacher for your child. • Choose your child care very carefully. Stay involved with your child’s caregiver: Communicate daily. From time-to-time, visit unannounced. • Stay involved with your child’s school, camp, center, etc. Know where and with whom your child spends time away from you. Know who his friends are. n l e r ild ecia h C sp are 4 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 9 What Is Normal Sexual Development? Babies are born naturally curious: their brains ready to learn. The kind of parental stimulation or experiences a child’s brain receives in the early years will build the foundation for future intellectual, social, and emotional growth. Positive experiences enrich the brain, helping it to grow. Bad or negative experiences like abuse can affect the normal growth of a child’s brain, changing behavior and reducing a child’s learning potential. Sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch are some of the ways young children learn about their environment. The senses also provide messages about the people in their environment, who will help them grow and develop in safe and healthy ways. The warmth and gentleness of a parent’s touch and voice, for example, help a child feel more emotionally secure. Babies learn to feel safe and secure when they experience caring, love and nurturing from people they can trust, i.e. parents and grandparents, and if in care outside their home, their caregivers. Children have a natural curiosity, which should be nurtured and developed. Parents need to know about normal sexual development, which often includes a child’s natural curiosity about his/her body. Parents can use this information to reassure themselves about what is ageappropriate behavior or what needs a 5 doctor’s attention. Parents can also use the information to help their children feel comfortable with themselves and their bodies. (Developmental signs are adapted from a publication of the Geselle Institute and the American Academy of Pediatrics) Newborn to 12 months Birth: Genital erection is common with boys even from birth. 7 months: Children enjoy bath time. They explore their bodies with their mouths and hands. 10 months to 1 year: Children begin to touch their genitals when their clothes are off. Children may look at their parents and smile when urinating. (At about seven or eight months, stranger anxiety occurs. Children may cry and shy away from people, even a caregiver. This behavior is normal at this age, and generally not a warning sign of abuse.) Cuddling and rocking stimulate a child’s intellectual and emotional growth. Children who are hugged, loved, and cared for grow up to be happier and more confident. Key Ask your doctor about any physical signs of genital problems, for example, continued or prolonged redness or discharge in the genital or rectal areas. Warning 6 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 11 At 21/2 to 3 years children are: 18 months to 2 years Children can be very physical in response to other children. Hugs and enjoyment of physical contact are part of healthy development. Children may explore each other through touch or show a lot of physical affection and while doing this poke eyes or pat too hard. Children, when tired, may also show a lot of affection to adults. • increasingly aware of their own sex organs. • interested in watching others in the bathroom or when they are undressed. (Toilet training is usually accomplished by children watching family members of the same sex using the toilet.) • able to tell the difference between boys and girls. (They notice that boys usually stand up and girls sit down when urinating.) • curious about their mother’s breasts. Children of this age who are going through toilet training need a lot of reassurance, praise, and lots of hugs and kisses. Key 2 years to 3 years As your child explores his body, he finds his genitals. For toddlers, this behavior is not sexual or emotional. It just feels good and is part of natural curiosity. Toddlers express a wide range of emotions and show affection freely, especially lots of bedtime kissing. 3 years to 4 years Children of this age play a lot of makebelieve using imaginary or household objects. They make believe playing the role of their own sex: Girls play the “mom” and boys the “dad.” At 2 to 21/2, children can distinguish between boys and girls by their clothes and hair styles. They may sometimes be unable to function in strange bathrooms. Children also express interest in babies and want the family to have one. They ask many questions about babies. 7 8 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 13 3 to 31/2 years: Children continue to notice and comment on sex differences. They are interested in the body differences between boys and girls. They want to look at or touch adults. The breast is especially comforting for children who have been breast fed as babies. Girls may try to urinate standing up. You Poopie Head! 31/2 to 4 years: Children may begin temporary attachment to a specific playmate, often of the opposite sex. Girls generally initiate the attachment. For children of this age, parents are role models. Boys are interested in growing up like their fathers, girls like their mothers. 4 years to 5 years Key Children commonly undress together and look at each other’s genitals. If your child is clearly imitating sexual behavior in too realistic a way, you may want to contact your doctor. Also be aware of any unexplained changes in your child’s behavior such as bed-wetting, fear of going to sleep, or fear of a place or individual. Warning Most children are developing a healthy sexual curiosity. This is the year your child will be experiencing a lot of emotional highs and lows. It is the time when children, especially boys, enjoy using a lot of fourletter words with sexual meanings. They make jokes about urination or bowel movements and call people names using bathroom words. Most children want to play “doctor” and remove their clothes in front of one another. Children are conscious of their navels and may show genitals in play. Children are curious about how babies get out of the mother’s stomach. It is not unusual for the child to think the baby comes from the navel. Other children think babies are bought. They are interested in bathrooms and in the bathroom activities of others. Sometimes they demand privacy for themselves. Four-year-old girls want to be grown up. They may express a lot of affection at bedtime, but may also be jealous of their parents’ relationship. It is important that you answer questions about where babies come from, openly and simply. Since this is the 10 Key 9 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 15 time when children show a normal curiosity for the genitals of others, you may want to talk about the importance of being private about their bodies and not undressing in public. It is important that you not shame your child. Explain calmly what is NOT appropriate behavior. Children of this age are interested in the genitals of others and play with their own genitals under stress. You should talk with your child’s doctor if your child won’t stop touching other children’s genitals or exposing his/her own. Warning 6 years to 9 years At this time children are curious about sex. Private parts become the basis for their humor. They share so-called dirty jokes. They use the dictionary to look up sexrelated words. They may begin to ask questions about “periods,” how people have sexual Keep the lines intercourse, and why “some of c o m m unication men like other men.” open It is during this time that children get less of their sex education from parents and more from peers, movies, television and advertisements. Keep open the lines of communication with your child. Be sure that your child knows that he/she can come to you with any questions or concerns, even of a sexual nature. You may want to find books appropriate for your child’s age and interest to help you answer his/her questions. Key 5 years to 6 years By kindergarten a child’s sexual identity is well established. The interest in body differences between sexes is fading. Children play less in the bathroom and become more modest about their bodies. Children often begin to ask how babies get in, as well as, out of the mother. They become more interested in their parents as babies and about having a child of their own when they are grown up. Watch for behavior that sets your child apart from other children, such as, a sexual display or discussion of sexual information inappropriate for his/her age. If you have questions, talk with your child’s doctor. 11 12 Warning sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 17 9 years to 12 years Physical changes are occurring in both boys and girls. On the average, at about 10 years of age, girls begin to go through puberty. Boys begin a little later. The physical changes may trigger questions. Your honesty is important. You may be called upon to answer some of the tougher questions and address some of the most challenging issues of our times, e.g., homosexuality, AIDS, and other venereal diseases, rape and abortion. Adolescence The subjects of intercourse, pregnancy, rape, and sexual harassment may be foremost on your teen’s mind. These are realities in his world. Talk with him or her about how to handle it if they or their friend has been victimized. Reassure them that they are not at fault and that you believe them. What Parents Need To Know About Sexual Abuse It is important for children to feel that they are able to talk to you about sensitive topics when they are feeling very vulnerable. If you feel uncomfortable, ask your child’s doctor or a health educator for materials or books to use. Key Know where your older children are going after school. Know their friends and the families of their friends. Monitor sleepovers. Watch children who are spending too much time alone, for example, on the internet. Moodiness, depression, change in school performance, eating disorders, sleep disturbances, acting out behaviors, and social withdrawal may be warning signals of sexual abuse. Warning 13 Sexual abuse can happen to any child. Even the very best children with very good parents can be the victims. Parents need to have a basic understanding about sexual abuse, so that they can talk to their children. You do not want to scare your children, but you do want to protect them. You teach them about wearing seat belts in a car, a helmet when biking, looking both ways when crossing a street and not touching jars with the poison warning, etc. Protecting your children from sexual abuse is like protecting them from any other danger or accident. First, it is important to know that there are two types of sexual offenses involving young children. There is a touching offense and a non-touching offense. 14 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 19 Warning A non-touching offense includes: • obscene phone calls • taking nude photos or videotapes of children for obscene purposes • an adult showing a child his or her private body parts • watching a child undress and staring at the child’s private parts • allowing a child to see pornography or watch sexual acts, including sex on television. A touching offense is physical contact with a child for the purpose of adult sexual stimulation or pleasure. A touching offense includes: • pressing or rubbing genitals against a fully clothed child NO nted • touching or fondling a wa es un ouch child’s genitals t • asking or forcing a child to touch adult genitals • attempting oral, anal or genital sex • beginning with innocent touching which can lead to more serious acts (forced penetration). Unfortunately, most sexual abuse occurs with someone a child knows and trusts. This makes it even harder for a child to protect himself/herself or to talk about it with parents. If you suspect your child has been sexually abused, contact children’s protective services. Warning 15 Here are some basic points that parents need to remember: • Children are the victims. • Children have a right to privacy and respect. • Children did not make sexual abuse happen. • Sexual abuse is not a child’s fault. • Children need to know that they can trust you; that you will believe them; and that you will protect them. Be sure that your children know that they can talk to you and you will listen. Reassure your child that sexual abuse is not their fault. Key Use language which children can understand. Keep your voice calm and Listen to understanding as you your children talk with your child about prevention. Help children understand sexuality as warm, sharing and affectionate interaction between loving persons. Sexual abuse should never be confused with the appropriate love and affection between parents and between parents and children. 16 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 21 What Parents Can Tell Their Children To Keep Them Safe Your goal as a parent is to protect your child, not scare him or her. Sometimes it is hard to find the balance. By showing your willingness to talk and listen, you e ar ild are helping your child to be strong p e ch and confident. Strong, confident Pr ur children with good self-esteem are yo less likely to be victims. Parents often find it helpful to rehearse or role play different uncomfortable or frightening situations with their children. It is a good way to prepare children for possible danger. It also gives children a more relaxed way to watch you respond. Daddy! A stranger tried to talk to me! Strangers Talk to your child about strangers. Explain that even if the “stranger” looks very nice or very kind, he/she should not start up a conversation or leave with someone unknown. Some parents use the story of “Little Red Riding Hood” to talk to young children about “stranger dangers.” Help your child to understand that strangers may look like safe people! However, your child should never feel pressured by anyone to do something which feels unsafe or uncomfortable. Tell your preschooler not to accept food, drinks, toys or money from strangers. Tell your school-age child never to go in a 17 strange car, open the door to, or run an errand for a stranger. Establish a “code word” with your child. Explain to your child not to believe someone who claims a family emergency, or who says he was sent by the parent, unless that person knows the “code word.” Older children, who sell candy, cookies, etc., door-to-door, should be told NEVER to go into unknown customer homes unaccompanied by an adult. Key Tell your child to get away quickly – to call for help, run and talk to a trusted adult. Private Parts Parents and child-care professionals should use the correct terms for the private body parts: breast, penis, vagina, buttocks, anus, etc. Private parts are those that are covered by a bathing suit. Explain that no one has a right to touch your body or ask you to touch their body. One exception may be the doctor who examines you with a parent or nurse present. Other adults, teens or children should not be !” to allowed to touch private parts. NO d y “ te Sa an s unwuche Teach your child to say to “no” or “stop” to anyone who tries to touch his/her private parts. Explain that even if the person is someone they know, someone who promises him or her an extra treat, or threatens them into cooperating, they have a right to say “no” and tell you. Key Touches Help children distinguish between good touches, bad touches and confusing touches. Good touches make a child feel good about himself or herself. Some examples of good touches are: hugs, kisses and handshakes from friends or family. Bad touches include hitting, poking, or 18 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 23 tickling when the child doesn’t want it, and touching private parts. Confusing touches make a child feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or just plain “yucky.” For example, a child is forced to kiss a relative or friend when he/she really doesn’t want to do it. Let children know that bad touches can come from people they know, as well as strangers. Help your child understand that they have a right to say “no” to an adult who makes them feel uncomfortable no matter who it is or how well the child knows him or her. Be sure your child knows that he/she can talk to you about his/her feelings or concerns. Reassure your child that it is not his/her fault. Key What Parents Need To Know About Child Care How can you protect your child when he/she is in care away from you? If you are like most parents today, you will need child care when you are at work, in school or in a job training program. As a parent you want your child’s time away from you to be safe, protected and nurturing. Finding a good child-care setting for your young child is important and it takes time. While every parent has heard at least one frightening story about some abusive situation in a child-care setting, these stories are really the exception. Most child care is safe. When it is good care, children thrive. The key is finding a program which meets your family’s needs and a caregiver who will be a partner in the care and education of your child. NO SECRETS! Caregiver 12 Minutes Communication 8 Minutes Secrets Sometimes children will keep secrets out of love, fear or shame. They need to be told not to keep secrets. Tell them that they can always come and talk to you about their worries and not to keep frightening secrets. Let them know that they can always come to you about bad or confusing touches or requests from people that they don’t like or trust. Often sexual abusers will say to children, “Don’t tell, this is our little secret.” Explain to your child they should not have to keep any secrets from you. Explain the difference between a secret which may be “bad” and a surprise which usually is “good,” like a special party or present. 19 Count–5 Minutes Content 20 Minutes Contract/Program Philosophy 15 Minutes Choosing Child Care, Adapted from Take-The-Time, A 60-Minute 5C Checklist The following is a guide for helping you choose and maintain good,safe child care. It is based upon the 5 C’s: count, caregiver, content, contract, and communications. It recommends taking the time, at least 60 minutes in each setting, and suggests questions to ask. 20 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 25 Before your child is in care... • Visit at least three child-care settings. • Observe each program option for at least 60 minutes. • Set aside time to talk with the caregiver/s in each program. (Suggested questions are included.) Review their health and safety rules. • Ask for and check all references. • Look for a caregiver who is a good match with your family. • Go back to your best choice, preferably at a different time of day. • Visit your program choice with your child. • Before you decide, put yourself in your child's place. Would he/she like it? 2. Caregiver: The caregiver you choose will be playing a critical role in your child’s growth and development. Make sure the caregiver is the kind of person who shares your views about discipline, health and safety, and how children learn. Look for someone you can be comfortable communicating with about your child’s care. 12-minutes Take 12 minutes to observe the caregiver: 1. Count: A smaller group size is better than a larger one. Higher quality programs have fewer children per adult. Take 5 minutes to observe: 5-minutes • Number of children per adult in the group Ask: • How many children are cared for in the group (during the hours you need care)? • Are there other adults present during the day? 21 • Face (warm, loving) and voice (calm, soothing, strong but caring) • Gets down to child’s level to talk or work with children • Seems to enjoy children • Evidence of good health practices, e.g., hand-washing • Serves nutritious meals and eats with children • Uses acceptable disciplinary methods: no physical punishment, and no yelling • Promotes children’s self-esteem through positive words and actions • Gives children choices • Encourages children to help themselves 22 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 27 Ask about: • Program’s non-smoking policy • Caregiver’s years of experience with children • Caregiver’s training (e.g., CPR, First Aid, Child Development); program accreditation (e.g. National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC), National Association for Family Child Care (NAFDC), etc.) (Studies have shown that trained caregivers provide a higher quality of care. Types of training can include CDA (Child Development Associate), 2-4 year degrees in Early Childhood and related fields, and state-required training.) • Discipline practices/child management techniques 3. Content: High quality programs have a variety of planned activities to help children develop physically, mentally and socially. Program activities should be suitable for the child’s stage of development and individual interests. 23 Take 20 minutes to observe: 20-minutes • A balance of active and quiet activities • Safe, fun outdoor play space • Relaxed eating time with nutritious food • Safe and child-proofed activity areas • Activities suitable for age of child • A variety of appropriate toys, books and materials • A clean, bright, cheerful setting • Children enjoying themselves • Children/caregivers working cooperatively to create activities and solve conflicts Ask: • For a tour of center or home to see where child will eat, sleep and play. • The daily schedule? (Activities you were unable to observe.) • What will happen if your child doesn’t want to eat, nap or participate in activities? • What are the plans for fire and other emergencies? • What are the safety precautions for pools/water play? 24 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 29 4. Contract/Program Philosophy: It is best to have everything written down so that parents and caregivers clearly understand their responsibilities. Ask the caregiver to show you the written agreement and program philosophy. 15-minutes Take 15 minutes to read the written agreement and discuss: • • • • • • • • • Cost, late fees, method of payment Pickup times/arrival times Discipline philosophy Sick policy for mildly and moderately-ill children Holiday/Vacation policy Transportation of children Emergency plan(s) Days of operation/backup arrangements Policy for parents to visit unannounced Ask about: • References (check them out) • Police checks • Other adults in contact with children in home/center • Who will be doing substitute care? • Turnover rate of center caregivers; length of operation of child-care home Studies indicate that too many changes in caregivers in a year may have a harmful effect on children’s learning and sense of security. 25 5. Communication: It is important to know the best way to maintain ongoing contact with your child’s caregiver. 8-minutes Take 8 minutes to observe: • The way you were greeted (on the phone and in person) • Methods of communication, e.g., notebooks, bulletin boards, photos Ask about: • How information will be communicated to parent (e.g. progress reports, daily/weekly notes, etc.). • The best way for caregiver to receive information from parents (e.g. note, phone call, conversation at pick-up or drop-off) • Where should problems with your child’s care be directed? 26 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:04 PM Page 31 Child Care Warning Signs n ldre Chi uality dq nee ld care chi Here are some suggestions for helping to maintain quality care for your child: 1. Communicate daily with your caregiver. 2. Be open about your feelings and concerns. 3. Don’t let concerns build up. 4. Tell the caregiver about family changes which affect your child, e.g. divorce, new baby, parent separations. 5. Tell the caregiver about any changes in your child’s health. 6. Respect the program’s policies and procedures. 7. Show that you appreciate your child’s caregiver. 8. Stay involved with your child care program, e.g. visit at lunch, go on field trips, etc. 9. At times, visit the program unannounced. 10. Maintain contact with the other families of children in care to share support and share concerns. 27 Some child care warning signs, offered by the American Academy of Pediatrics, can help you spot problems. They are: Warning • Sudden physical changes. For example: a child who was toilet trained and suddenly starts to have accidents without any good explanation. • Suddenly no longer wants to go to child care, school, etc. • Sudden, unusual acting-out sexual behavior. • Unusually nervous and aggressive behavior. • Suddenly talking about sexually abusive behavior. • Sudden hesitation over showing affection or receiving affection – no more hugs and kisses. • Sudden sleep problems: nightmares, fear of the dark. The key is to watch and listen to your child; stay connected with the caregiver, teacher, etc.; talk to other parents and . . . trust your instincts. . . and trust your child! Key 28 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:24 PM Page 33 Important Phone Numbers: Recommended Books Choosing Child Care For Parents, Older Children and For Parents to Share With Children • Action for Children: Central Ohio’s child care resource and referral agency – provides information and counseling to families to help them make informed child care choices. 614/224-0222; TDD/Ohio Relay Service – 1-800/750-0750 –––––––––––– • Franklin County Dept. of Human Services: Provides information on publicly-funded child care – 614/2756500 • Center for Child Abuse Prevention at Children’s Hospital – 614/722-6800 • Children’s Hospital Guidance Center: Offers mental health counseling services for children, teens and families – 614/221-9922 • Family Development Clinic at Children’s Hospital: Provides child abuse assessments – 614/722-6800 • Family Support Program: Treatment program for those affected by child sexual abuse – victims, families, and adolescent offenders – 614/222-1999 • FirstLink: A 24-hour general information and referral service – 614/221-2255 • Franklin County Children Services: Investigates allegations of child abuse – Child Abuse Hotline: 614/229-7000 • Parent Connection: 24-hour information and support line; a service of Children’s Hospital – 614/224-2273 • Childhelp USA®: National Child Abuse Hotline – 1-800-4-A-Child, operates 24hours a day, 7 days a week, responding to calls in 140 languages. A staff of professional counselors will answer the calls of children as well as adults and make referrals to local resources. TDD/Hearing Impaired – 1-800-2-A-Child 29 • My body is Private, Linda W. Girard, Witman and Company, 1984 (Preschool3rd grade) A young girl talks about unwanted touching and protecting one’s body. It has an empowering message for young children. It is a good resource for parents and professionals to share with children. • A Better Safe Than Sorry Book, Sol and Judith Gorden, Ed-U Press, 1985 (Preschool-2rd grade) this book approaches the subject of sexual abuse and threats from strangers in a non-scary way. • Feeling Safe, Feeling Strong, Susan N. Terkel and Janice E. Reach, Lerner Publications, Minneapolis, 1984 (10 and older) Six first-person scenarios of sexual abuse followed by factual information and advice. • It's My Body, Lory Freeman, Parenting Press, Inc., Seattle, Washington, 32 pages, available in paperback and Spanish translation. (3-8 years) Young children learn how to distinguish between "good" and "bad" touches, and how to respond to unwanted touches. • Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse, A Parent's Guide, Janie Hart-Rossi, Parenting Press, Seattle, Washington, 64 pages. This book was written to accompany, It's My Body. The text includes a variety of activities and games for parents and professionals to use with children up to 12 years old. 30 sexual abuse book3 3/22/04 5:24 PM Page 35 • Loving Touches, Lory Freeman, Inc., Parenting Press, Seattle, Washington, 32 pages, available in paperback and Spanish translation. (3-8 years) This book teaches children how to ask for and give loving touches. Children also learn to respect their own and others' bodies. • The Trouble with Secrets, Karen Johnson, Parenting Press, Seattle, Washington, 32 pages, available in paperback and Spanish translation. (3-8 years) This book helps children distinguish between hurtful secrets and good surprises. References Caring for Your Baby and Young Child, Birth to Age 5; American Academy of Pediatrics, Bantam Books, N.Y., 1991 Caring for Your School-Age Child, Ages 512; American Academy of Pediatrics; Bantam Books, N.Y., 1993 ChildHelp, USA® Columbus Dispatch, Child Abuse Series, 1997 • Books from Parenting Press are available for purchase at local bookstores or by calling its toll-free number: 1-800-9926657. What Should I Tell the Kids?: A Parent’s Guide to Real Problems in the Real World; Ava L. Siegler, Ph.D.; Dutton Publishing, N.Y., 1993 • Three publications from KIDSRIGHTS are available for purchase by calling: 1-800892-5437. All three are written by Catalina Herrerias, M.S.W., Ph.D. With assistance from: • Parent Talk, A Parent's Guide to Child Sexual Abuse Prevention. This 27-page booklet has a lot of good information for parents of young children or teenagers. • Teen to Teen, Personal Safety and Sexual Abuse Prevention. This 44-page book is appropriate for children 10-17 with subjects including self-esteem, trust, decision-making, and other matters which tie in to sexual abuse. 31 Action for Children Center for Child Abuse Prevention Children’s Hospital and Children’s Hospital Child Abuse Department Children’s Hospital Guidance Center Editorial Advisory Groups of child care providers, teachers and parents K chi eep ld saf ren e • For Kids Only, A Guide to Safety and Sexual Abuse Prevention, Catalina Herrerias, M.S.W., Ph.D., 36 pages. (6-12 years) 32
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