Relate and Gransnet
got together and asked
gransnetters for their
top tips on keeping their
relationships fighting fit.
The responses were funny,
heartfelt and sometimes
surprising. Here, in a
nutshell, is the Relate and
Gransnet guide to happy
relationships in later life.
Make time for
each other
Make time for each other and be
a couple.
Make sure you listen to each
other’s point of view (even
though I am always right!)
Get naked!
Be loving and don’t have that
headache too often.
My ex was my best friend, lover,
fiance, husband in that order and
thinking back, I thought of him as
a friend not a man if you get my
meaning. My present partner is most
definitely my lover. A subtle difference
which makes all the difference.
We’ve had times where we didn’t get
naked for some time, and this was in
retrospect, a time our relationship
did feel particularly rocky – as a
result or cause I don’t know...?
DH (Dear Husband) is my lover,
companion, best friend and much
more. We have been married 45 years
and are still devoted to each other.
Have your own
interests
Love together, laugh
together, pull together, grow
together but don’t spend all
your time together or you’ll
never have lots to talk about.
Never be boring or bored.
Husband drives me round
the bend sometimes, but life
with him is never boring.
Communicate
Talk to each other, and listen to each
other. Not necessarily as easy as it
sounds. You have to get beyond the
superficial and then avoid being
defensive.
I have been with my husband for 31 years.
What I would say is good communication
is key, don’t assume they know what’s
going on in your head because most of
the time they have no idea.
Laugh
nse of
Cultivate a se
ld say.
ou
w
I
r
humou
Laugh often.
Learn how to handle
arguments
Talk to each other, then keep on
talking until you reach a compromise.
Let things go, choose your battles.
When I was younger I would have
argued to the bitter end to get my
point across or go off in huffs that
could last for days. Now being older I
really can’t be bothered with bickering
and arguing at all. Life’s too short.
Treat your other half well
Kindness, above all else, can work
miracles.
Just be good, loving, caring friends to
each other.
Be kind. Never belittle or undermine.
Encourage one another. Don’t nurse
grudges or old wounds. Surprise each
other now and again and also find
pleasure in everyday occurrences.
Relationships in later life are a bit like
bone china, strong but delicate at the
same time.
Never take each other for granted, we
all want to feel we matter. 40 years
next Feb and still not sure what makes
him tick, exciting trying to work it out!
Appreciate what your partner does for
you and you for him.
If I had to recommend one thing to do
this week it would be say “I love you” at
least once a day.
And when the going
gets tough…
Accept that it’s not always going to
be ...happy days... but ride the waves
together.
When asked how we have managed to
stay married for 45 years we both say
that at any given time at least one of us
has been working at it.
Love, trust, respect, tolerance and
sheer bloody mindedness!
Consider each other’s needs. Life can
throw obstacles in the way and if you
are sensitive to your partner’s feelings
you can really help each other through.
For help with your relationship, no matter how big or small,
contact Relate on 0300 100 1234 or www.relate.org.uk
or see our dedicated site for older people:
www.retirementtogether.org.uk.
Gransnet is the social networking site for the UK’s 14 million
grandparents: www.gransnet.com