Chapter 21: Editing for Style and Correctness •
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The 5Ps of Editing for Style and Correctness Style and Clarity Grammar Punctuation and Mechanics Style and Correctness in Workplace and Community Genres The 5Ps of Revising for Style and Correctness What are the 5Ps of revising for style and correctness? Grammar, style, mechanics, and correctness are more than just an arbitrary collection of rules. These area matter in writing because they support writers in conveying the exact meanings intended while addressing an awareness of the conventions particular to each academic, business, and community setting. One goal of this chapter is in helping students to see why an awareness of grammar, style, mechanics, and correctness matters in academic writing. In this respect, schoolwork may seem quite different from the informal writing we do every day (for example, when texting and emailing). Where academic writing may seem formal and rules-­‐based, our personal writing often seems expressive and unstructured. This chapter examines not only these differences, but also some similarities among school, workplace, and community writing and how an understanding of grammar, style, and mechanics in each context will alter both the quality and readability of your work. Let’s begin an examination of your 5Ps. 1. Purposes: Why are you writing? Do you want to report to a manager, demonstrate subject knowledge to an instructor, or post a restaurant review on a community blog? With each of these purposes, concerns over style and correctness are defined by the needs, concerns, and expectations of your audience. As an example, business documents like resumes and reports follow very particular styles, using bulleted points, brief descriptions, and standard formatting. In academic settings, instructors might focus on both “sentence-­‐level correctness” (i.e., spelling, grammar, syntax) and “logical correctness” where arguments follow a linear cause/effect pattern. Without these awareness writers will have difficulty addressing audience expectations across settings. 2. People: For whom are you writing? Is your tone more formal for an academic audience, or more conversational for a community audience? Clarity and correctness matter across these settings. As an example, the term “clear” might mean “succinct” with business audiences, “informal” (as in “tone”) in community settings, and “logical” or well-­‐reasoned in academic contexts. 3. Processes: How do you produce your best work? While your academic writing might go through the processes of research, peer review, and revision, these same processes might be impossible or even unnecessary in business and community writings. Also, in each of these settings, composing in digital media changes one’s writing processes. As you move among settings, this chapter will help you to consider the appropriate processes for using both print and multimedia elements of style. 4. Products: What genres best suit your setting? From email correspondences in business to blogs in community settings and essays in school, standards on correctness shift, but do not disappear with differing products. When building an awareness of style and correctness, writers ask, “what products best suit my message, audience, and rhetorical situation?” 5. Places: How does the selection of place alter one’s style and sense of correctness? Whether you’re writing collaboratively with a team on a Google doc at work, using a wiki space to edit a peer’s text in class, or composing an interactive community blog, an understanding of place is essential for you to meet your purposes, communicate with your people, use your best processes, and create your best products. Within our discussion of style and correctness, understand that writing isn’t merely about adherence to strict and static guidelines. Rather, rules exist in service to writers—helping each of us communicate with clarity. As an example, take a look at the following sentence, which follows no fundamental rules of grammar, punctuation, structure or “correctness” as you attempt to cipher through its meaning: Example: “eendahpasdrytinwuzaulwunwourdendnoespasez” With no rules about spacing, spelling, punctuation or capitalization, can you tell what is written? Try and sound it out, and see how long it takes you. Do you miss having writing that follows a few of the rules yet? Here’s what the example, absent of rules of spelling, grammar, mechanics, structure, and style actually states: “In the past, writing was all one word and no spaces.” Go back now and take another look. Can you now see that the rules are there to help? Now, imagine reading an entire essay or book this way. As you may now begin to see, the rules are not arbitrary. Rather, they evolve over decades and centuries to help readers and writers make sense of words and ideas. The invention of sentences and punctuation was among the first steps toward this greater readability. Consider the effect of a simple change in punctuation: *Let’s eat, mom. *Let’s eat mom. Deleting the comma completely changes the meaning of the sentence! However, students should not rely on context alone to convey meaning. That is, while the reader can probably catch the correct meaning by the larger context of the surrounding text, they shouldn’t have to. That is, while many writers assume that their readers should know what they mean in that situation, it’s important that writers don’t make their readers struggle with meaning. While it may seem less important to the writer who understands clearly the context, take the time to create clarity for your reader. Explore the Elements: Did you ever send an inadvertently funny text or email that left out, or played with some simple grammar rule? Did this omission lead to any confusion about your meaning? As an example, look through your recent text messages and you’ll probably find a few funny ones. Or, take 10 minutes and do a Google search for some funny examples. After you find 3-­‐5 humorous examples, freewrite for 10 minutes while reflecting on how grammar, punctuation, style, or correctness an lead to misreadings. Example: Image 21.1 Style and Clarity How do I make my writing clear to readers in academic settings? The remainder of this chapter shows how understanding the elements of style, grammar, and mechanics will allow you to write effectively. We will not exhaustively catalogue every possible grammar and style point; nor will we provide complex definitions. Rather, we will address those elements that are most essential to the success of your academic writing while explaining them in terms that will apply directly to the types of writing that you will be asked to complete in college and beyond. Aspects of Style and Clarity When writing across discourse communities, adhere to the standards and norms that will demonstrate to your reader an awareness of, and appreciation for the conversations appropriate to that community. These standards include an understanding of: Register—Register indicates the level of formality in the words and sentence structures that you use. In writing, as in life, use language that suits the context. Imagine calling your professor “dude.” No matter how close your relationship, this is clearly not the right use of language. Similarly, academic writing requires a certain degree of formality. However, overly formal language can obscure meaning. Example, overly informal: Lady Macbeth is one tough broad. Example, pretentious: Lady Macbeth exhibits superior intransigence. Revised: Lady Macbeth demonstrates remarkable strength of will and character. The appropriate level of formality depends on your genre and rhetorical situation. While a social-­‐
networking status update might assert, “Totally loved the movie <3,” a professional critic’s review would use more formal sentence structure and might focus on financial aspects of the film: “The new film should beat the competition on its opening weekend.” Notice the informal tone used with the phrase “beat the competition.” A formal academic essay would include a more formal tone, phrasing, and analysis like: “The director’s use of light and shadow effectively highlights the moral ambiguity of the characters.” Collaborate to Learn: In a small group, share some of your recent writing (both academic and social media). Ask your peers to listen closely for your uses of register. How does your register vary among writing products (e.g., research paper versus social media post)? Then, discuss why your register might vary between academic and non-­‐academic contexts. Slang/Idiom. When you see someone, you might ask, “What’s up?”—yet no one looks upward. Why? The phrase “what’s up?” is idiom (a slang expression) with a specific, informal meaning within a particular discourse community. Because slang expressions are often not shared across settings or cultures, much is lost in translation. Example: The government should get off the fence on immigration reform. Revised: The US Congress should finalize its decision on whether or not to amend its current position on immigration. Jargon. Each community uses its own idiomatic or technical terms that are not widely known to, or are used differently by other communities. Jargon is the inappropriate use of these terms outside of the community for which they hold specific meanings. As an example, a dermatologist might comment on a patient’s cancerous “defect.” While you may recognize the term “defect” you might be surprised by its use in this context. Similarly, you might also recognize the term as jargon from the automobile industry: “Toyota, in its recent recall of the Prius model, will address the manufacture’s defect.” Since meanings change so readily across communities, avoid jargon and be direct. Example: The patient was febrile. Revised: The patient had a fever. Defining Terms and Being Specific. When writing in academic contexts, define your main terms to clearly convey exact meanings. For example, would you automatically go out on a date with someone that you were told was “attractive”? Depending on the personal preferences of the speaker, the term “attractive” could mean almost anything. When writing, recall how easily words can hold multiple meanings. By using specific language, you will paint a clearer picture for your reader. Example, vague: The food was good. Revised, specific: The pasta was flavorful, bursting with the freshest herbs and spices. Euphemisms are overly vague expressions that obscure unpleasant meanings. Example: The operation resulted in collateral damage. Revised: The mission led to the accidental killing of three civilians. Appropriate Language. Appropriate language and “correctness” are not the same. Correctness is about following a set of rules or accepted conventions across contexts, like understanding when to use “who” or “whom.” Also, keep in mind that a writer can be technically correct yet not appropriate. As an example, using slang or jargon in an academic paper. To use language appropriately, be aware of the following: Avoid biased language and stereotypes: Biased language is often seen when describing gender, politics, sexual orientation, age, or race. Be sensitive to others, and avoid stereotypes. Be inclusive in writing by describing groups and individuals with gender-­‐neutral terms. Examples: 1. Describing physicians, scientists, and other professionals generically as “he” or “him.” 2. Generalizing male/female roles, sports, aptitudes, likes and dislikes. 3. Categorizing, by overly simplifying, labeling, or typecasting ethnic or racial attitudes, food preferences, socio-­‐economics, or geographic locals of specific cultural groups. To avoid gender bias, do not use masculine terms to refer to a mixed group of men and women, and do not assume that all members of a class are male: GENDER BIAS APPROPRIATE Men People Mankind Humankind or humanity Mailman Mail carrier, postal worker Example, biased: Every writer should choose his words carefully. Revised: All writers should choose their words carefully. Quote ethically and cite sources appropriately: Do not distort someone’s words by taking them out of context, and always document your sources according to your discipline’s preferred style. Example: According to Mitt Romney, President Obama attacked entrepreneurs by insisting that they didn’t build their own businesses. Revised: In a 2012 campaign speech, President Obama stated, “If you’ve been successful, you didn’t get there on your own.” Conciseness: Wordiness equals unnecessary complexity. So, as you write, ask yourself, “can I offer this same idea with fewer and more direct words”? When you can, do it. In the next example, note how each successive revision expresses the same meaning with fewer words. As you practice, look for examples of empty clauses and phrases, passive voice, redundancy, and general wordiness. Use the example as a guide. Example: Original sentence: Throughout my many years as a lawyer defending criminals, I have seen countless examples of the many statutory laws that are both unjust and unfair. Reduce phrases to single words: Revision #1: As a criminal defense lawyer, I have encountered countless examples of the unjust and unfair statutory laws. Remove redundancy Revision #2: As a criminal defense lawyer, I have encountered many unjust statutory laws. Remove hyperbole (exaggeration) Revision #3: As a criminal defense lawyer, I have encountered unjust statutory laws. Now, remove words that don’t add important meaning or description Revision #4: As a criminal defense lawyer, I have encountered unjust laws. Active Voice: Verbs can be in active or passive voice. Active: “Tom stole the money”. Passive: “The money was stolen by Tom.” Or “The money was stolen.” Typically, the active voice leads to clearer and more dynamic writing because it names the agent (Tom) and expresses the same idea in fewer words. However, scientific writing favors passive voice in descriptions of experiments. In such cases, the identity of the experimenter matters less than the actions that the experimenter performed (“The fluid was left to cool for three hours”). Variety In writing, it’s important to vary: 1. Sentence length. Readers need an opportunity to consider your words between sentences. So, don’t inundate your reader with a series of complicated sentences followed by other long or complicated sentences. For ease and readability, your writing should follow a rhythm of complex to simple sentences. Example: Dr. Roberts, my mentor and favorite instructor in the English department, went on sabbatical last semester and was unable to teach. Yet I had a great semester. 2. Word Choice. Avoid repetition. Don’t reuse words, phrases, or ideas. Drive your writing forward by renaming these elements in each successive sentence. Take a look at the following example that renames the subject in the second sentence to avoid redundancy and to drive the writing forward. Example: “AIDS is on the decline in sub-­‐Saharan Africa. This one-­‐time plague can now be treated by antiretroviral drug therapies.” Using synonyms to vary your use of words will make your writing more interesting. One easy strategy for doing so is to use a thesaurus. It’s usually just a mouse-­‐click away. A thesaurus will also help you build your vocabulary and find words with the exact meanings that you want. 3. Sentence Structure: a. The placement of modifiers. Modifiers are words, phrases, or clauses that help to describe or add specificity to a word or concept. By varying your use of modifiers, your writing will not only avoid redundancy in structure but will also draw attention to the key elements of the sentence. Let’s look at a few examples to test how changing the modifiers draws attention to various elements of the sentence, Audrey was in my class. i. Modifiers as adjectives: My best friend Audrey was in my class. Note how the adjective “best” modifies, and helps to describe the pronoun “friend.” ii. Modifiers as a dependent clause: Even though she was a grade ahead, Audrey was in my class. The clause “Even though she was a grade ahead” is dependent because, if removed, there is still a complete sentence. Yet, that clause modifies, or helps to describe “Audrey.” iii. Modifiers as an infinitive phrase: Audrey was in my class to retake the course. Note how the infinitive phrase helps to describe “what” Audrey is doing in the class. iv. Modifiers as an adverb: Unfortunately, Audrey was in my class. v. Modifiers as a participial (i.e., ending in “ing” and serving as an adverb) phrase: Audrey was in my class just waiting to get through the semester. b. Using coordinating and subordinating conjunctions for sentence variety. Coordinating conjunctions are words that connect phrases or clauses with equal importance. English includes only a few: and, but, for, nor, or, so, and yet. Subordinating conjunctions appear in sentences that express two ideas: one main and one subordinate. Common subordinating conjunctions that connect these clauses include after, although, as, even if, even though, if, in order that, rather than, since, so that, then, that, though, till, unless, until, what, when, whenever, where, whereas, wherever, whether, while. Coordinating Conjunctions: i.
Audrey was in my class, and she got the top “A.” ii.
Audrey was in my class, yet she was a year older. iii.
Audrey was in my class, so we got to spend time together. Subordinating Conjunctions: i.
Audrey was in my class whether she wanted to be or not. ii.
Audrey was in my class until mid-­‐semester. iii.
Audrey was in my class so that she could graduate. Collaborate to Learn: With a classmate, exchange papers that you’re working on currently. Go through your partner’s paper, line by line, and look for opportunities to combine sentences with conjunctions. Return your partner’s paper, and discuss. Types of Sentences: Writers craft sentences to help their readers to “see” one moment or event. Let’s see how various types of sentences help with this goal. 1. Complex Sentences: A complex sentence has an “independent clause” (phrases that can stand alone as their own sentence) joined by one or more dependent/subordinate clauses (phrases that can’t stand alone or phrases that would not make sense without the independent clause, even though they have their own subject and verb). Complex sentences connect these kinds of clauses with either “subordinators” (words that show time sequence or causation like after, although, because) or with “relative pronouns” (see below). Example: “After they finished the semester, Todd and Jeremy returned home for the summer break.” In this sentence, after they finished the semester is the dependent clause, and Todd and Jeremy returned home for the summer break is the independent clause. 2. Compound Sentences: Compound sentences encompass two independent clauses (complete sentences) joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, yet, so). Example: “My boyfriend went out with his friends, so I went home.” Compound sentences help writers combine two connected actions into one idea. Shifts in Number: Use singular pronouns (I, you, he, she it, who whom, this) to refer to singular antecedents. Use plural pronouns to refer to plural antecedents. Error: When someone asks you a question, answer them. Corrected: When someone asks you a question, answer her (or him). Parallelism: Why does some writing seem awkward while other writing seems to flow? Parallelism is a writing technique that uses back-­‐to-­‐back similar words, repeated, and consistent grammar or “rhythms.” The use of parallelism improves not only the style of your writing but also the readability of your prose by making it easier for the reader to follow. Classic examples of parallelism are: 1. Easy come, easy go. 2. Like father, like son. 3. What goes around comes around. Not Parallel: On weekends, John likes to go snorkeling, bungee jumping and to parasail. Parallel: On weekends, John likes to go snorkeling, bungee jumping and parasailing. So far in this chapter you’ve learned that when writing in standard academic English it’s important to define your terms, avoid jargon, and use an appropriate register while building logical sentences. Now, let’s examine many of the sentence-­‐level issues that often trip up writers in crafting effective sentences. Grammar Why does grammar matter in academic writing? From what constitutes a complete sentence to the order of words, grammar helps writers convey consistent meanings. Without an understanding of these structures, writers do more than merely make errors; they fail to convey their ideas. So, let’s take a look at the essential structures of grammar. CLASSIFYING WORDS AND PARTS OF SPEECH Sentences in standard academic English have specific structures (e.g. complete sentences have subjects and verbs). Writers who understand sentence structure can better edit their own work and convey their meanings. Since academic communities value adherence to these standards, take the time to become familiar with the common conventions that follow. We begin with parts of speech. • Nouns: o Common Nouns: A word used to categorize a class of people (e.g. “immigrants” or “sister”), places (e.g. “outside”) or things (e.g. “sneakers”). o Proper Nouns: A word used to categorize a specific class of people (e.g. “Canadians”), places (e.g. “Cleveland”), or things (e.g. “Nikes”). Proper nouns are capitalized. Common nouns aren’t unless they begin a sentence. § Proper nouns make your writing more specific, while common nouns tend to add ambiguity. • Example: Common nouns: The boys were speaking a foreign language at the competition. • Example: Proper nouns: Charles and Tony were speaking French at the New York State Language Olympiad. • Pronouns: Words that replace or stand in for nouns. Examples: o “He” replaces “Malcolm” o “She” replaces “Margaret” o “It” replaces the “book” Pronouns help writers to avoid repetition—consider the sentence, “Spielberg uses a lot of dialogue when he writes scripts.” In this sentence, the use of the pronoun “he” helps the writer avoid using the filmmaker’s name repetitively: “Spielberg uses a lot of dialogue when Spielberg writes scripts.” However, pronouns can create confusion when it is unclear what they replace. Types of Pronouns: Don’t worry about memorizing all the names in this section. Just keep in mind the general rules for pronouns when you see or use each type. o Demonstrative Pronouns: Represent things – e.g. “this” (singular), “these” (plural). Example: “This is my friend Susan whom I mentioned earlier”. o Indefinite Pronouns do not refer to any specific person, place, or thing—they are therefore “indefinite” e.g. words like “all,” “any,” or “each.” Example: “All enjoyed the party.” o Interrogative pronouns are used when the writer is posing a question. e.g. words like “who,” “whom,” “what,” or “which.” Example: “Which English 100 class are you taking next semester?” o Personal Pronouns: These fall into three subcategories: First person: e.g. words like “I,” “we,” or “our.” Second person: e.g. words like “you” or “your.” Third person: e.g. words like “he,” “she,” “they,” or “them.” Do not shift unnecessarily between first, second and third person. Incorrect: “If someone wants to do well in school, you have to study.” Correct: “If someone wants to do well in school, he or she has to study.” “If you want to do well in school, you have to study.” Possessive Pronouns are words like “mine,” “yours,” “his,” or “hers.” Possessive pronouns show ownership. Examples: “My dog ate my homework.” “Getting your work done is not their problem.” Relative Pronouns. Don’t take twenty words to write something that is clearer and more direct with ten. Relative pronouns help you combine sentences using words like “that,” “which,” and “whomever.” § Example: “This is my homework. My homework was due today.” These sentences can be combined using the relative pronoun “that” to form one clear and complete sentence: § “This is my homework that was due today.” §
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Which versus That, whose, who, whom: Writers use “which” with nonrestrictive clauses and “that, whose, who, and whom” with restrictive clauses. o Non-­‐restrictive clause: “Halloween, which is one of my favorite holidays, is on Friday this year.” In this sentence, the writer uses “which” because the clause “which is one of my favorite holidays,” is not essential to the meaning of the sentence. o Restrictive clause: “Horses that are under 14.2 hands are called ponies.” The meaning of this sentence changes without the clause, “that are under 14.2 hands.” The clause restricts the horses that are called ponies to those under 14.2 hands. Otherwise, nonsensically, the sentence would read, Horses are called ponies.” Restrictive clauses can also use the words, whose, who, and whom. Example: “Carlos is the friend whom I like the most.” Pronoun-­‐Antecedent Agreement o Possessive pronouns refer back to their antecedents: the nouns that they modify. Example: My professor presented his lecture online. In this case, the term antecedent refers to the noun that the pronoun refers back to. Whether the writer is using numbers, collective nouns (e.g. groups or families), compound antecedents (two or more nouns), or indefinite pronouns (see above), his or her pronouns must “agree” with (i.e. plural or singular) the nouns they modify. Example: § Incorrect: A voter (singular noun) should learn about the issues in their (plural) district. § Correct: Voters (plural noun) should learn about the issues in their (plural pronoun) district. o In sentences that contain two or more noun antecedents joined by the words “or” or “nor,” the pronoun agrees with the antecedent that is placed closest to the verb. § Either my parents or Jack will bring his car. •
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Pronoun Reference o Every pronoun should clearly refer to only one noun. § Example: "Marina’s sister wore her red dress”: does the dress belong to Marina or Marina’s sister? Pronoun Case: Who/ Whom: o Writers use the term who when referencing the subject (either a proper or common noun) of a clause and whom when referencing the object of the clause. § Example of Subject: Mary, who I will see later today, is the president of the French club. § Example of Object: Mary will let whomever into the club. o Whenever you’re not sure of when to use “who” or “whom”, substitute the words “she” for “who” and “her” for “whom” while turning the question into an answer. § Question: Who/Whom stole the cookie from the cookie jar? § Answer: She (not her) stole the cookie from the cookie jar. § Question: For who/whom are you waiting? § Correct Answer: I am waiting for her (not she). Expletives: Expletives are pronouns that don’t refer to anything specific. Two common expletives are “it” and “there” at the beginning of a sentence. Examples: “It is a beautiful day today.” “There might be rain today.” The expletive creates ambiguity and weakens the writing. Your reader might ask: “What is the ‘it’ that the expletive is referring to,” and “Where is the “there” in the second example?” One way to fix expletives is simply to define them. Example: turn, “It’s a beautiful day.” into “Last Saturday, as the scent of impending spring drifted lightly in the air, I though to myself, “what a beautiful day.” Explore the Elements: Take a recent essay and a grouping of old email or text messages and look through your writing for expletives. Try to rephrase these sentences with clear pronoun reference and antecedent agreement. • Verbs: These words convey action: e.g., “The president governs.” “Graham slept.” When you write, verbs bring the story, report, argument, or analysis to life. However, to define clearly “how” things happened, not just “what” happened (e.g., “Jackson rode his bicycle”), you’ll need to learn more. • Verb Form § Helping Verbs: These verbs do not hold their own meaning but help other verbs in the sentence to make sense. Some verbs that can be helping verbs include: is, are, have, do • Example: Bob is playing football. (In this example, the helping verb “is” helps the main verb, “playing.”) § Irregular Verbs: These verbs don’t conform to traditional rules of forming tenses. For example, regular verbs form the simple past tense by adding “-­‐
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ed”: “walk” becomes “walked” and “talk” becomes “talked.” Examples of irregular verbs are: “have” becomes “had,” “drink” becomes “drank,” “go” becomes “went.” The verb “to be” is highly irregular; it has the base form “be,” the present-­‐tense forms (I) “am,” (you/we/they) “are,” (he/she/it) “is,” past-­‐tense forms “was” and “were,” present participle “being,” and past participle “been.” Verb Tense: Tenses express timing. The most common tenses include: o Simple Present: “They talk.” All the action within the sentence is happening currently or happens habitually. However, the simple present can sometimes also refer to a future event. Example: “My friends arrive at 4:30.” o Present Perfect: “They have talked.” The action started in the past and continues to the present. Therefore, this sentence has both present tense “have” and past participle “talked.” o Simple Past: “They walked.” All the action within the sentence began and ended in the past. o Past Perfect: “They arrived late because they had walked.” This tense signifies a past event that occurred before another event in the past: the arrival (simple past) happened after the walking (past perfect). o Future: “They will talk.” The action has yet to take place. o Future Perfect: “They will have talked.” This signifies an action that will have been completed at some point in the future but is not yet completed. Example, “By the time I get home, I will have driven for an hour.” o Progressive Tenses: These are 6 verb tenses that express uninterrupted or recurrent actions. They include: § Past Progressive: I was studying. § Present Progressive: I am studying. § Future Progressive: I will be studying. § Past Perfect Progressive: I had been studying. § Present Perfect Progressive: I Have been studying § Future Perfect Progressive: I will have been studying. Explore the Elements: Construct a sentence with each of these verb tenses using the following verbs: sit, learn, and buy. Avoiding inappropriate shifts in tense: Be sure to reread your compositions closely to make certain that any shifts in tense reflect actual changes in the timing of actions. Incorrect: When the teacher asked for silence, everyone freezes. (This sentence switches between past and present tense.) Correct: When the teacher asked for silence, everyone froze. Also, as we will see later in this chapter, verbs should always agree with their subjects. • Verb Mood: The verb mood indicates the speaker’s attitude o
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Indicative: makes a statement or asks a question. Examples: Daddy, read me a book. Daddy, will you read me a book? Imperative: gives commands. Example: “Walk on the other side of the street.” Subjective: expresses wishes, doubts, or a condition that is contrary to fact: Example: If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t do that. Adjectives and adverbs: o Adjectives: Adjectives describe nouns and pronouns—e.g., “hairy man”, “shy child,” or “pleasant conversation.” Do not overuse adjectives. Vague adjectives like “nice” or “smart” can just as easily create ambiguity as they can help define terms. o Adverbs: Adverbs describe verbs. They announce “how” the verb happened. Example: Bob walked quickly. Adverbs help your reader “see” the action. As an example, in the sentence, “Jackson rode his bicycle,” the reader may want to know more. Was the riding scary or fun? Knowing more about the riding will help the reader better understand the sentence and its implications. For example, adding the adverb “wildly” or “carefully” to the verb “rode” adds context. While many adverbs end in “-­‐ly,” several important adverbs, like those that refer to time (e.g. “always,” “often,” “never”), do not. Also, not all words ending in “-­‐ly” are adverbs. Collaborate to Learn: In a small group, discuss various definitions of the following adjectives: Pretty, handsome, smart, responsible, effective, and reasonable. Are definitions relatively consistent or highly divergent? What does your answer suggest about the overuse of adjectives? • Articles: Words like “a” and “the” are articles. Writers often get confused as to when to use one or the other, since they can both indicate one of something: e.g. That is a car. Remember: The word “the” refers to specific (definite) nouns and “a” refers to nonspecific (indefinite) nouns. Example: “A car went by. The car [the same one from the previous sentence] had a broken tail light.” “The” can also indicate more than one of something specific: “The apples in the basket cost 50 cents each.” Similarly, it’s important to differentiate the article “a” from the article “an.” In this case, use “an” when the article is indefinite but only when the next word begins with a vowel. Example: This is an apple. Otherwise, use the indefinite article “a.” This is done to help with flow. Simply, pronunciation becomes difficult when the word “a” is followed by a vowel. • Count and noncount nouns: o Count nouns can be written in plural form, typically with an "s." Example: "car” becomes “cars” and “dog” becomes “dogs.” o Noncount nouns cannot be written in a plural form. Examples: "underwear," “weather,” "water," "air," “furniture,” "money," “engineering,” and “homework.” Imagine writing: "We have more airs on Earth than on the moon." As you write, remain aware of the following aspects of noncount nouns: §
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Since noncount nouns are always written in the singular form, the writer can add the word “of” before noncount nouns to demonstrate multiples. Example: Bob had seven pieces of furniture to assemble. Use the article “the” with definite noncount nouns. Example: The rent money is on the table. With noncount generalizations, use no article. Example: Reading is fundamental. •
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Interjections: Interjections are words that typically come at the beginning of sentences, used for the sole purpose of adding emotion to the text. Examples: “Yo, what’s your problem”? “Hey, are you listening to me”? In academic writing, do not overuse interjections. Typically, they are most effective in dialogue. Prepositions: Prepositions show the physical relationship between two people, places, or things. A simple way to remember prepositions is to take any noun (e.g. foot) and another noun (e.g. table) and then make a list of all the ways that the two nouns can be connected to each other: e.g., “on,” “over,” “under,” “near,” or “alongside.” Examples: o My foot is on the table. o My foot is near the table o My foot is under the table. Example: Let’s start with a simple sentence: “Bob walked to school.” While this is a complete sentence, it doesn’t say much about Bob, why he walked, or what the walking has to do with the larger composition. Adding a prepositional phrase like “Bob walked to school through a downpour” conveys much more about his walk. Prepositions add essential details for readers that create clarity or which alter meaning. Additionally, prepositions support arguments by explaining connections and offering causation. Example: “By serving as a catalyst for crime, poverty is a leading contributor to rising rates of incarceration in the US.” By adding the prepositional phrase as support, the writer can better connect “poverty” with “incarceration.” Without the prepositional phrase, the sentence is a claim without support: “Poverty is a leading contributor to rising rates of incarceration in the US.” Explore the Elements: Go back through an academic paper that you are working on currently. Reread closely, classifying words and parts of speech while looking for ways to clarify your writing. Perhaps you want to change several common nouns to proper nouns. Maybe you want to add “-­‐ly” to an adverb or change “that” to “which.” Make a list of 20-­‐30 items then, revise. CLASSIFYING SENTENCES AND THEIR PARTS Now, let’s examine some aspects of sentence structure and see how to avoid vague or incorrect sentences. • Subjects and predicates: Every complete sentence must include a subject and a predicate. The subject is the “who” or “what” that the sentence is about. This must be a (pro)noun: e.g. “the house” or “the test.” The predicate describes what the subject is doing or its state of being (e.g. “is burning”). To make sure that a sentence is complete, first, look for the verb. The verb will tell you the action or state of being in the sentence. Then, ask yourself, “Who or what is doing that action?” If either subject or predicate is missing, your sentence is not complete. Explore the Elements: Go back through an academic paper that you are working on currently. Reread it closely, looking for incomplete sentences. Then, revise. • Phrases: Definition: Any grouping of words that stands for one thing. Example: “The park in our neighborhood is nearby.” The part of the sentence in red is the phrase because it refers to one place. In this example, the phrase is called a noun phrase because all five words represent one noun, the park. o Prepositional phrases: Prepositional phrases (word groupings that start with prepositions) are important for showing causation because they indicate “how” the other elements of the sentence are connected. Example: “By failing to turn her paper over, Caroline missed two questions on the back of the exam.” In this sentence, the prepositional phrase (“By failing to turn her paper over”) demonstrates how (or the causation behind why) Caroline missed the questions. As in the example above, prepositional phrases at the beginnings of sentences are typically separated from the rest of the sentence by a comma, since the remaining word groupings, on their own, constitute a complete sentence. o Verb phrases: Verb phrases contain a verb and ANY (in)direct object while lacking a subject. Examples: “Dad is driving us to school.” “My instructor was grading the exam.” o Participial phrase: A participial phrase is a grouping of words that begins with a past or present participle. For example, the past participle of “jump” is “jumped” whereas the present participle is “jumping.” Examples of past or present participial phrases: “Skydiving over the canyon, I could see for miles around me.” “Running for cover, I could not avoid the rain.” “Wrecked in the accident, the car was unusable.” o Infinitive phrase: An infinitive phrase is a noun phrase that starts with an infinitive (the word “to” plus a verb). Examples of infinitives: to sleep, to dance, to cry, to fall—these are all infinitives. Examples of infinitive phrases: “I love to go to the movies.” “It’s hard to save for college.” • Clauses: Like a sentence, a clause contains a subject and a verb that lets readers know the action or state of being of the subject. Clauses can be statements or questions. A simple sentence includes only one clause. Example: while he was yelling at me In this example, the clause has a subject, “he” and a verb describing the action of the sentence, “yelling,” but it is still not a complete sentence. It is therefore a dependent clause. An independent clause is a word grouping that can stand by itself and form a complete sentence (with punctuation). Example: Dr. Smith (subject) is (verb) a terrific instructor. Sentence Fragments: Sentence fragments cannot stand alone as complete sentences. They lack one of the two essential elements: either a subject or a complete verb. Sentence fragments are italicized below: Incorrect: My class has many assignments. Such as a paper and two tests. I’m going to the mall. Because I have a shirt to return. In these examples, the fix is easy—just be sure that each sentence has a subject and a complete verb. You can also combine the sentences. Correct: My class has many assignments. However, I’m most worried about the paper and the two tests. My class has many assignments, such as a paper and two tests. I’m going to the mall. I have a shirt to return. I’m going to the mall because I have a shirt to return. Comma Splices A comma splice occurs when the writer uses a comma to join two complete ideas that could stand on their own as sentences. Example: There is a storm approaching, we need to go inside. Outside of poetry or other creative writing, commas splices are considered an error. There are several ways to correct a comma splice: o Revise to combine the two independent clauses to form one independent clause. Example: Let’s go inside as the storm approaches. o Divide into two sentences with a period. Example: There is a storm approaching. We need to go inside. o Combine with a semicolon (with or without a transition word. Note that a comma follows the transition word). Example: There is a storm approaching; we need to go inside. There is a storm approaching; therefore, we need to go inside. o Combine with a comma and coordinating conjunction: Example: There is a storm approaching, so we need to go inside. o Combine with a subordinating conjunction: Example: We need to go inside because there is a storm approaching. Subject-­‐Verb Agreement: In English, subjects and verbs that refer to them must agree. Singular subjects need singular verbs and plural subjects need plural verbs. Oftentimes, students who grow up speaking a language other than English have trouble with subject-­‐verb agreement. If you are having these difficulties, read your essays closely before handing them in. •
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Incorrect: “My cousins is coming over today.” In this sentence, the subject “cousins” does not agree with the verb “is” because “cousins” is plural and “is” is singular. Correct: My cousins are coming over today.” Also, be aware that: o Compound subjects connected by “and” are plural: Example: A good attitude, hard work, and a little bit of luck are essential to success. o For compound subjects joined by “or,” the verb agrees in number with the closest subject. Example: Money, brains, or luck (singular subject) is enough to get you by in life. o Indefinite pronouns (e.g., anyone) are usually singular. Example: If anyone is going to the store, get me some nachos. § Some indefinite pronouns are always plural (e.g., many), while others can be singular or plural depending on the antecedent (e.g., all, any). o Inverted sentence order. When the subject comes after verb), be careful that the subject and verb still agree: Example: Competing in today’s race are Jared and Cam. o Subject separated from verb. The verb agrees with the subject, not with words that come between the subject and verb. Example: My shirt with the blue stripes needs to be washed. Misplaced and dangling modifiers. Adjectives and adverbs modify, or change the meaning, of nouns and verbs respectively. For example, the adjectives “late” and “early” convey an important difference in meaning when used with the noun “train.” Can you recall reading a sentence in which the modifier seemed ambiguous, misplaced, or not fully connected to other parts of the sentence? Incorrect: The girls walked their dogs, tired after work. This sentence seems to say that the dogs were tired after work. The modifying phrase “tired after work” is misplaced. Place modifiers as close as possible to what they modify: Correct: Tired after work, the girls walked their dogs. Limiting modifiers modify what comes immediately after them. Be careful with their placement: The restaurant only serves chicken soup on Fridays. (I.e., The restaurant does nothing else with chicken soup on Fridays.) The restaurant serves only chicken soup on Fridays. (I.e., The restaurant serves nothing else on Fridays.) The restaurant serves chicken soup only on Fridays. (I.e., Friday is the only day that chicken soup is available.) Here’s another modifier problem: Incorrect: “At the age of eight, my family moved to upstate New York.” In this sentence, “the age of 8” is a dangling modifier. It appears to be modifying the age of “my family,” and while it may be clear that the family is not eight years old, it is unclear to whom the modifier refers. The modifier is “dangling” because its subject does not appear in the sentence. Correct: At the age of eight, I moved with my family to upstate New York.” Collaborate to Learn: Go back through a peer’s paper and search for misplaced and dangling modifiers. Read carefully; they’re not always easy to catch. Mark each one. Then, meet back with your partner and discuss how each misplaced or dangling modifier alters the meaning of the sentence. Punctuation and Mechanics Which technical aspects of writing should writers keep in mind? Punctuation •
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Apostrophes: o Apostrophes are used for contractions at the point where a letter is left out. Example: “Don’t go to bed angry” (instead of do not). o Apostrophes also show possession. Example: “Adam’s car” § If the word naming the possessor ends in –s, add just an apostrophe: “the Goldbergs’ station wagon.” § Do not use an apostrophe simply to show plurals. Example: “At the family reunion, I met 250 Smiths.” § To show joint possession, use the apostrophe with only the final name. Example: “This is Margaret and Susan’s apartment.” o Do not use apostrophes with possessive pronouns (singular or plural). Example: “This seat is hers” (not her’s or hers’). “The car is theirs.” o And finally, do not use apostrophes with numbers or dates. Example: “She was born in the 1960s.” Semicolons and colons: o Use a semicolon between two independent clauses that are not joined by a coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, so, nor, yet). Example: “I’m not sure what I want; I’ll look at the menu.” o Colons set off a list, series, or quotation from the main part of the sentence. Example 1: School provides me with the essentials: knowledge, freedom, and a chance to make friends. Example 2: Einstein captured the value of education when he wrote: “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” • Commas: Use commas in the following situations: o
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To separate three or more items in a list. In MLA style, use a comma before the “and” that precedes the last item in the list: “faith, hope, and charity” Before coordinating conjunctions joining independent clauses. Example: "Carl got the job, but he was fired within three weeks.” To set off nonessential words or elements. Example: “The average grade for the class, however, was lower than expected.” To set off introductory phrases or elements. Example: “By serving as an example, Catherine gained the respect of her classmates.” Example: “Dear Sir,” (in correspondence). To separate cities from states. Example, “Last week we were in Bangor, Maine.” To set off quoted text. Example: “I don’t care,” screamed Bob, “it’s not my responsibility”. To show contrast or comparison. Example: “The hour was late, but not too late for takeout.” To set off coordinate adjectives (adjectives that modify the same subject). Example: “the brown-­‐haired, blue-­‐eyed boy” Before and after: § Interjections: Terms like yes, no, and indeed are interjections when they appear at the beginning of a sentence. Commas set off these words. Example: Yes, it is quite lovely to see you today. § Direct address: Greetings like “Hey Carl,” or addressed titles like “Ladies and Gentlemen,” are, whether at the beginning or the end of a sentence, separated by commas. Example: “Class, please open your exam books.” § Tag Questions: Example: “It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” To separate two items that really go together as one thing –e.g. My favorite foods are chocolate, bananas, steak, and peanut butter and jelly.” To set off clauses that are essential to the meaning of the sentence: “The class that I like best is biology.” Between adjectives that modify one another: “The red silk scarf” •
Parentheses: o Use parentheses to qualify or clarify something within the sentence. Example: “When I arrived at school (college), I was overwhelmed by all of the new faces.” o Use parentheses with in-­‐text citations using MLA and APA style. (See Chapter 20, Documenting Sources.) o Use parentheses when interrupting the flow of a sentence with a secondary, descriptive, or illustrative point. Example: “I did not enjoy Home (one of Morrison’s later novels) as much as I loved The Bluest Eye.” •
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Dashes: Dashes can be used o To show a range of numbers. Example: Class, please read pages 22-­‐33 by tomorrow. o To set off and draw attention to elements that interrupt an independent clause. Example: I have to break our appointment—I have an emergency—
and will contact you later. o To show interrupted dialogue. Example: “Mom, I have a –“ “Hold on sweetheart, I can’t hear you right now.” Warning: Academic writers should not overuse the dash. Ellipses: (…) Use ellipses to signify that something has been left out of a quotation (Chapter 19: Working with Sources includes detailed guidelines). When you are shortening a quotation, be very careful not to change the meaning. Also use ellipses to show that a list or items go on and on. Example: “In math, when studying Pi, I got lost after 3.1415… “ Brackets [ ]: There are two main times when academic writers use brackets. o Example #1: When you change a direct quote from the original within your text, use brackets around the text that you altered. Do not alter the meaning of the quote. Example: You find a quote that states, “Einstein and Newton both conducted research on gravity and its influences on celestial bodies.” However, your paper is a review of the work on Einstein, not Newton. So, you only want to mention Einstein in the paper. As such, you might write, “[He] conducted research on gravity and its influences on celestial bodies.” By leaving Newton out, you’re not altering the meaning of the sentence but rather, focusing the quote on your subject, Einstein. o Example #2: Use brackets to add brief explanations within a sentence. “Coach Cutcliffe [Duke University] was named the 2012 and 2013 ACC Football Coach of the Year.” Quotation Marks: “ ” o With direct quotations: Direct quotations comprise another person’s EXACT wording within your text. By adding quotation marks around a direct quotation, you signal that the words within the marks are not your own. Example: George Washington is often remembered for asserting, “Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected.” o Single quotation marks for a quotation inside a quotation: Use single quotation marks for a quotation inside another quotation. Example: Karen was so upset that she screamed, “You said, ‘this will never happen again.’” o For titles of short works. In MLA style, use quotation marks around titles of articles, short poems, stories, and other short works. o Punctuation with quotation marks: §
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Period: appears inside quotation marks in a sentence-­‐ending quotation: Example: Nancy responded, “Yes, that is my dog.” Question mark: appears inside quotation marks if quotation is a question. Example: My teacher asked, “Where’s your homework?” The question mark appears outside the quotation marks if the sentence asks a question Example: Why did you say, “I love you”? Exclamation point: appears inside quotation marks if the quotation is an exclamation, but outside if the sentence is an exclamation. Example: John exclaimed, “Get out of my way!” Example: I’m tired of hearing you say, “I’m sorry”! Colons and semicolons go outside the quotation marks: Example 1: Joseph said, “I’m not sure what I want”; Natalie was ready to order. Example 2: Nora insisted that sports teach kids “fair play”: impartiality, sportsmanship, and camaraderie. • End Punctuation. The end punctuation of a sentence signals to the reader how to read the sentence. Consider how the end punctuation in the following examples alters meaning: Example 1: It’s a lovely day. (Direct statement and complete sentence) Example 2: It’s a lovely day? (Perhaps sarcasm or direct question intended by the speaker) Example 3: It’s a lovely day! (Great enthusiasm or other emotion communicated from speaker). Be careful, exclamation points are not usually appropriate for academic writing. Instead, let your words alone carry the excitement, emotion, or emphasis. Example: John, with great fatigue, mustered the strength to finish his first marathon with a grimace on his face. Note how the words, “great fatigue,” “mustered the strength,” and “grimace” each convey the emotion communicated from the speaker. • Hyphens: o Use hyphens with some compound nouns. Example: Sara had lunch with her mother-­‐in-­‐law.” However, not all compound nouns need hyphens. Check the dictionary to see when to use a hyphen. o Some compound adjectives use hyphens when they come before the noun they modify, but they do not include hyphens when they follow the noun. Examples: “My mom is a well-­‐known realtor in our community.” “My brother’s basketball skills are well known.” Explore the Elements: Carefully reread an academic paper that you are working on currently. Examine the paper’s uses of punctuation while looking for ways to add clarity to the writing. Perhaps you want to change the number of contractions or reduce the uses of ellipses. Then, for 5 minutes, freewrite about what you found and how an understanding of punctuation can improve your work. Mechanics Contractions: Contractions are a way of combining words with an apostrophe. Examples: “can not” becomes “can’t,” “will not” becomes “won’t.” As a general rule, avoid using contractions in academic writing. • Acronyms: Acronyms take the first letter of multi-­‐word terms to form abbreviations. Common acronyms that you are probably familiar with are: SCUBA (Self-­‐Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus), ASAP (As Soon As Possible) and LASER (Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation). Perhaps you’ve noticed that digital genres like texting and email are full of acronyms (lol). Acronyms have an informal quality and should not be overused in academic writing. However, acronyms can help with repetition of terms. Typically, academic writers should avoid using acronyms until after the entire term has been given, to avoid confusion for the reader. As an example, the acronym UM could stand for the University of Michigan, Maine, Mississippi, Minnesota, Miami, and many others. • Abbreviations: From names (e.g. J. R. R. Tolkien) to titles (e.g. Dr.) and US states (e.g. NC), many words are often abbreviated. Check the requirements of the style you are using. • As a general rule, do not use abbreviations in your academic or business writing. However, in community contexts, when the meanings of abbreviations are clear, it is okay to abbreviate. Just don’t assume that your audience is as familiar with the common abbreviations within your topic as you are. • Many common abbreviations that once used periods (U.S.A. or 3:00 a.m.) now often appear without periods (USA or 3:00 AM). In these circumstances, refer to the appropriate style manual for your discipline (e.g., MLA and APA). Capitalization: o Every sentence starts with a capital letter. o Proper nouns are capitalized. o The first-­‐person singular pronoun “I” is always capitalized. o Familial and professional titles are capitalized when they precede a name. Example: “Uncle Julius” but “Julius is my uncle” o While URLs (web addresses) are all lowercase, proper nouns associated with the Internet are capitalized. Examples: Internet, World Wide Web Italics: Italics are words that are angled to the right. Writers use italics o When citing sources (see Chapter 20: Documenting Sources) o For titles of long works like plays, novels, and films o For emphasis—but use this sparingly: Example: “This is not the homework that I assigned Tommy!” Numbers: To know when to spell out numbers and when to use numerals, check your discipline’s style manual (e.g. MLA or APA). General academic rules include: o Spell out numbers that are less than 10. Example: five o Always use numerals for time: Example: 12:00. o Use numerals for dollar amounts: Example: $21.32 •
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Use Roman numerals in outlines and lists: § Example: • I. • II. • III. Write out place order: Example: First, seconds, third. Use numerals for page numbers. Example: “page 9” Write out fractions with hyphens unless reporting them as data within a chart or graph: Example: “Seven-­‐eighths” Use numerals for dates. Example: April 27, 1962 Use words for eras or historical periods: Example: “the sixties” Don’t start a sentence with a numeral. Example: Fifty-­‐two weeks make up a year. When two separate numbers appear together, spell the first out and write the second as a numeral. Example: “My daughter had a party with twenty-­‐two 11-­‐
year olds.” Explore the Elements: Go back through an academic paper that you are working on currently. Reread it closely, looking at your mechanics. Based on the lists above, what types of errors can you find? Then, write a 250-­‐word self-­‐reflection that compares the readability, flow, and overall quality of the text before and after revisions are made with mechanics. Digital Discoveries: As you write, you will continue to explore new lessons with grammar, usage, and mechanics. Remember, there is no need to struggle as you look for answers. Many resources exist to help you. Begin by going online to http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/ and familiarizing yourself with the available resources. If time permits, check out a few more sites. Begin with the one listed below, and do a search for others as you look for one that works best for you. • https://elt.oup.com/student/practicegrammar/test?cc=us&selLanguage=en •
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https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/ https://www.mla.org/style https://www.library.cornell.edu/research/citation Style and Correctness in Workplace and Community Genres How does style and correctness vary across different writing situations? In applying the academic lessons from throughout this chapter, let’s now examine style and correctness in business and community writing. To begin, let’s explore the specific conventions that will help you present your best work in these settings. These include: 1. Writing with clarity and directness: From bulleted points in business to focused arguments in community appeals, clarity and directness help your reader understand your purposes in writing. 2. Defining reasons for writing: From the inclusion of a subject line in a business email to the use of descriptive titles in community reports, effective writers follow the convention of defining, up front, why, and about what they are writing. 3. Creating support for your statements: From the inclusion of evidence, examples, and data in annual reports to embedded links and media in community blogs and wikis, effective writers don’t just make blanket statements. They provide support for their positions and claims. 4. Organizing information logically. From organizing business communications by topic and date, to the use of introductory sentences in community appeals, effective writers structure and organize information in a logical format. 5. Writing as part of a larger conversation. Whether you’re writing a follow-­‐up email in response to a business appointment or responding to an existing community-­‐based issue within an editorial, your writing should follow as part of a logical sequence within an ongoing conversation. 6. Offering a fair representation. Whether you’re avoiding hyperbole (exaggeration) in a business résumé or representing opposing views fairly in a political campaign, effective writers represent all sides fairly. 7. Inviting response. Whether you’re posting comments to a discussion board on community site, or sending marketing questionnaires via email for a business, effective writers seek feedback from readers. Examples: The Business Email: Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [1]: Pointing to the words, “I will make myself available for an interview.” Note how Sarah’s tone is not pressuring Dr. Echt to meet but rather is Inviting a response by clarifying what she is waiting for—a meeting time convenient for her audience. However, note below in her signature file that Sarah forgets to include a link to her email address. While Dr. Echt can simply hit the reply button, this absence adds a layer of complexity for her reader in archiving important contact information. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [2]: Pointing to the words, “forwarding my resume and undergraduate transcript.” By offering these additional materials as supplements, Sarah is presenting her reader with a fair and clear representation of her preparation for the post. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [3]: Pointing to the words, “As my academic mentor, Dr. Allen…” Note how Sarah brings her request for the internship into a larger conversation that she’s been having with Dr. Allen, one of Dr. Echt’s colleagues. This creates a flow and logic as to why Dr. Echt is the appropriate audience for the request. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [4]: Pointing to the words, “my relevant experience for your lab includes.” Note how Sarah is direct in Creating support for your statements regarding her preparation for the position. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [5]: Pointing to the words, “I am writing on the recommendation…” By using this introductory statement, Sarah is organizing the information within the correspondence logically. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [6]: Pointing to the words, “sponsoring an internship in your surgical clinic.” Note how Sarah, early on, defines directly her reasons for writing. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [7]: Pointing to the bulleted points: Note how Sarah writes with, “clarity delineates her and directness” as she preparation for the internship with bulleted points. Explore the Elements: Read Sarah’s email to Dr. Echt closely. Note her attention to 1-­‐7 above. For example, the subject line clearly and effectively addresses why Sarah is writing to Dr. Echt. Further, note how the bulleted points help her organize information effectively and write with clarity and directness? Once you’ve spent some time with Sarah’s example, search your college’s job resources for a summer internship. Then, like Sarah’s example, draft a short letter that addresses 1-­‐7. If your school doesn’t have such resources, use Sarah’s example and strategies 1-­‐7 above to edit Robert’s email below. Robert’s Example: The Community Wiki Space: Below is an image of the URL “memory-­‐alpha.org”. This site is an example of a community wiki space. This particular wiki site is dedicated to “everything Star Trek.” Like most wiki communities, whether dedicated to one’s favorite TV show, sports team, or community activity, memory-­‐alpha.org provides members with a writing forum. Anyone registered on the wiki can compose, post, edit, and respond to the accuracy of posts of other members. With almost 40,000 articles from its members, it’s an active and vibrant online community dedicated to providing information on the member’s topic of choice—Star Trek. Let’s take a look at an article. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [8]: Pointing to 2-­‐3 of the imbedded hyperlinks. By offering links to these additional articles as supplements, the wiki is presenting background and support while connecting sub-­‐topics within a larger conversation. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [9]: Pointing to the image and accompanying text of Leonard Nimoy. Note how this introductory information about the subject of the article helps with organizing the information within the wiki site. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [10]: Pointing to the words, “collaborative project“ Note how wiki’s invite community response by providing space for all members to write ad post article. In this example, note that there are “38,216” contributions. Explore the Elements: If you have web access, take a look at Memory Alpha or a wiki dedicated to your favorite TV show, sports team, or community activity. Read through some of the articles and links. Then, using the comments for the memory-­‐alpha.org site as an example, look for elements of 1-­‐7 above. As an example, do the embedded links or video media create support for the writers’ claims about the show, team, or activity? Does the host community post responses by episode, theme, or character, and does this structure allow for a logical organization of information? Finally, what changes would you make to alter the wiki’s style, tone, content, structure, or mechanics? Be sure to pick a wiki topic interest. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [11]: Pointing to the “Contents” box. Note how wikis organize all the writing within an article my subject-­‐headings, allowing for quick maneuverability between sub-­‐topics. The Contents box, like the bulleted points in a business email, provides clarity and directness” as it delineates key areas of focus. Dr. Bradley A. Hammer 4/9/2015 4:39 PM
Comment [12]: Pointing to the words, “Memory Alpha is a collaborative Project.” Note how the wiki’s author, by using this introductory statement helps readers understand, up front, the purposes of the community space.