Got a mate who’s always stressed out? Sometimes people aren’t coping
and they need a mate to step in and help them out. Learn about some of
the common causes of stress, figure out whether you should step in, and
get some tips on helping someone with stress. If nothing helps, maybe
there’s something else going on.
Everybody has a different relationship with stress. However, some of
the more common things that tend to stress us out are:
This might help if…
Stress impacts everyone at some point or other. If you notice that your
mate is constantly stressed out and rarely, if ever, feels like they’re on
top of it or in control, it’s probably a sign they need some time out or
support from a friend.
You can’t make deadlines or pressure go away, but you can help a
friend cope with stress a bit better. If little things cause your friend to
get highly anxious, worried or afraid, it’s possible they haven’t got
great coping skills when it comes to tackling stress. Sometimes you
can help someone with stress just by recommending some tactics that
work for most people.
First up, let them know that you’ve noticed how stressed they are,
and that you’re worried that they’re not coping. Maybe they need to
debrief with someone, and that can help a lot – talking stuff through
may help them figure out what’s bothering them.
Take action...
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Some things you can suggest:
Try a bit of problem solving. Work with them to figure out what’s
stressing them, break it down into small steps to get through it, and
try and figure out some ways to stay motivated.
Schedule in time out. They will probably benefit from learning some of
the top ways to relax.
Use positive coping strategies. Unproductive coping strategies
include things like, wishful thinking, self-blame, excessive worrying,
ignoring the problem and keeping things to yourself. Positive coping
includes things like, making immediate and short-term goal lists,
focusing on the positives, seeking help to get things done, improving
relationships and friendships and physical activity or exercise. See
our factsheet on building better coping strategies for more info.
Suggest toning down the stress factors. Sometimes people are just
totally overloaded with work and activities. In these situations, it may
be worth brainstorming what things they have to do and what they
can stop or postpone.
If nothing
If nothing's working, maybe there's something else going on. It could
be that they are just a nervous person, or it's possible that there might
be something more serious at play. Read up on anxiety disorders to
get clued up on what serious stress and anxiety problems look like.
If you think the problem is bigger than you both can handle, it may be
worth enlisting the help of a parent or teacher. Sometimes just talking
to an experienced adult or health professional (like a counsellor or
your GP) can make all the difference. If you don't know anyone
around you who would be suitable, call Kids Helpling on 1800 55
1800 or Lifeline on 13 11 14.