Pornography: Poison of the Mind and Body
Ivana T. Meshell, Director of Adult Faith Formation
A couple of weeks ago, I published my first article on the subject of pornography and the evidence showing
that pornography is incredibly destructive to individuals and families and that its use is rampant, even among
Catholic Christians. It isn’t easy to talk about this—but it’s one of those things we must talk about
because it is harming people’s lives and relationships; destroying marriages; and perhaps worst of all,
exposing our precious young people to negative and perverted ideas of what human sexuality is at
tender and impressionable ages—forever skewing their images of what is means to love and be loved
as a human being. Their first exposures to sex are about using and exploiting people for selfish pleasure and
profit, and while 43% of teenagers view pornography on a weekly basis, we expect them to grow up with an
understanding of what it means to treat themselves and others with dignity, respect and honor. No longer
viewing people as precious human being with feelings, pornography prevents people from seeing others as
persons to be loved rather than objects to be used. In our increasingly throw-away society, porn teaches us
that people are disposable. One should not use people for what is desired and not care about what it does to a
person’s self-esteem, psychological well-being, and future ability to raise a happy family.
These same young people grow up, as many of us have, in a world seething with sexual images—few of them
celebrate the beauty of human sexuality in the way that God intended for us to enjoy it. We have inherited the
lasting effects of a society addicted to porn, including the inability to connect with a marital partner in ways that
are healthy and life-giving. Sex does not begin with our bodies, it begins with our brains, and
pornography messes with our minds. It reinforces the idea that that sex is a commodity, something that we
“get” rather than sex being a manner of self-gift to someone with whom one builds a lifetime relationship. It
almost guarantees that a man will expect to be used by someone who says she loves him; and a woman will
learn to expect to be used by a man. That is the nature of porn—using rather than loving. Sex is seen as a way
to get the love we all crave. Hence, few people experience marital love the way God intended—while using
their bodies, many emotionally hold back the deepest and most personal parts of themselves, never
experiencing the total self-donation that marriage was intended by God to be. Pornography is an underlying
reason why so many marriages don’t last, because the couple was never able to completely commit to it in the
first place. Nobody wants to be totally committed to a relationship in which, deep down, they are afraid they will
be used. The result is less intimacy; more isolation, disappointment and sadness; more divorce, and an
unprecedented number of people giving up on marriage altogether. If it’s just about pleasure and convenience,
why marry at all? Even more frightening, porn induces people to engage in more sexual violence, abuse and
rape—this follows because porn convinces us that people are not worthy of dignity, and if that is true, they can
be exploited in all kinds of ways. Pornography exposes us to poisonous ways of thinking, and once the
mind is exposed to these ideas, it is very difficult to change. We see markers of this all through our society.
Sex was designed by God to be powerful, and used in the right way, it one of the most fulfilling things a person
can experience. When it is misused, like any powerful thing, it becomes very destructive. We can and must
do something about our society’s porn problem, and it has to start in our own homes. Are there any
pornographic materials in your household or possession? Get them out now—right now. Get up and go throw
them away—far away. If someone you love was drinking poison, you would rip the bottle out of his or her
hands immediately. That’s what porn is. It’s poison. Never mind about giving up chocolate for Lent. The use of
pornography is the one sin that we should work to eradicate from our lives this Lent. If pornography use is
choking the life out of you, your marriage, or your children, you can and should do something about it
immediately. Don’t justify it, don’t rationalize it, don’t make excuses. Instead, do some reading. Educate
yourself. Just do an Internet search on “Danger of Pornography” and see what you find. There are a lot of
things that happen to us in life that we can’t do anything about: illness, setbacks, unpleasant events of all
kinds. This is an evil thing that WE CAN do something about, and if we can, we most certainly should. Talk
with a priest, a deacon, a trusted friend, a counselor—make a change in your life and in your family’s life so
that you can become the persons you were created by God to be.
There is more to share in the coming weeks; meanwhile, Covenant Eyes provides tools for you to protect
yourself and your family from inappropriate content online. Learn more and sign up: www.covenanteyes.com